a pretty long post about how liking someone can be hard for me

anonymous asked:

Could you give some positivity/maybe advice for an Equius who just feels incredibly lonely? I’ve tried talking to people online but I feel awkward and I'm bad at it, and any potential canonmates have just been like “oh yeah i kinda remember that” and then we never talk again. Everyone I know irl ignores me because I’m autistic, except for my sibling, who’s dealing with their own stuff right now and so we can’t spend any time together. I just feel like I’ll never have anyone who cares about me.

Heya, Eq!

So first of all, talking to people is hard as hell. I usually feel anxious for a good five days after talking to someone new, and even with friends I’ve known for a while, talking can still be hard. When you’re autistic? It can be even harder - especially if people don’t know how to talk to you comfortably. So don’t worry about struggling to talk to people; I think it’s a pretty common thing, more common than you think, especially because of the autism. People will understand - maybe not those in the past, but definitely those in the future. It’s one of those things that you maybe don’t overcome, but is definitely something people will figure out. People just need different ways of being talked to, different topics that get someone really going - people will figure out what those are with you, and talking? Will be a lot easier. (Personally, with Mod Dave, I get talking about music or Once Upon A Time. I’ve never watched the show, but it’s one of the best things to get him talking, and it’s amazing when he really gets going about it and you can see how happy he is!)

Canonmate stuff is weird. People get iffy about it because of the whole “if my canonmate is uncomfortable with doubles, I want to make sure I know this person is my canonmate before committing to a friendship”. It’s an unfortunate mindset that we as a community have, and it might potentially be what’s turning people away from you. But that’s okay! You’ll find people who’ll be happy to talk to you regardless of if they’re from your canon or not. I talk to a lot of people who don’t share canons with me, for instance. And there are plenty of people on this blog who would be happy to talk to you, too! So don’t worry about that. And as for canonmates? You’ll find them. And they’ll be a whole lot better to you when you find them. 

Your sibling will have a time where they don’t have so much going on, and you’ll be able to spend time with them again, and it’ll be great when it happens. Try and see if you two can book a day to meet up - it’ll probably do you both good to just spend some time together, away from everything. Spending time with family you love can be a wonderful destresser. And don’t worry about not having anyone irl to talk to. I don’t, either! A lot of people I know don’t. It can be lonely as hell, I know… but when you find the right people online who understand you, and love and care for you? It’s perfect. I promise. 

Don’t worry, Eq. You’ll find people who love you, and will love talking to you. It might take time, but it’ll happen. (And if you want to, you can always send out a call on here for people to talk to! We have a lovely community here. I’m sure someone here, at the very least, would love to talk to you.) 

And don’t forget that we’re here for you, too. Whenever you need us.

- Mod DoomedDirk