a personal connection

thedreamingobserver  asked:

Is there any tips to write a deep/emotional scene? Or does it just kinda happen?

If you mean they just “kinda happen” like there’s a natural flow to the scene and what leads up to it, then yes. But any sort of deep scene is maybe 35% writing and 65% setup. (I’d give wiggle room for those numbers depending on writer skill and the plot. A poorer writer has to rely more on setup since their strength of scene wouldn’t be as good, and a deep scene early on isn’t going to be able to rely on the same setup and background.)

For writing…

- You’re really going to have the push the “show don’t tell” here. Direct comment on emotion often pushes the reader away, so you need to let the scene speak for itself.

- The character perspective that the scene is written from changes a lot about mood and tone of the scene.

- It’s probably time to break out the intense language, but this doesn’t mean melodrama. Intensity of language simply means you choose words very carefully to fit the scene you want to convey. Someone doesn’t “move”, they “stumble” or “saunter”. 

- Language structure, on top of word choice, can be used to convey feeling. Shorter sentences are blunt. Longer sentences have a sense of flow and can be calming if written with certain words, or jarring if the end on a very different tone than they began. There’s a lot to learn about how the way you structure your language can affect how a scene is read and interpreted.

- Any scene is “deeper” with a closer narrator perspective. 3rd omniscient can be fun, but will always fall a little short of 3rd limited or 1st person for emotional connection to the reader.

For setup…

- Vagueness does not work in your favor. There needs to be clear cause-effect that lead up to that deep scene, because a lot of the “depth” comes from the implications and effects.

- What is the primary emotion you’re trying to convey in the scene? You need to be specific with your thought because specificity allows you to control the details that lead up to the scene, and during the scene. It also means you can hone in on a specific emotion to work with, think quality over quantity.

- That scene needs to mean something beyond the moment. It should have a lasting impact on the plot or another character, because “depth” is not isolated within the emotional scene. True depth is seen when the scene is so integrated into the story that it has real meaning and consequences in context.

- The scene has to make sense within the story. A little obvious, but I’ve seen writers try and throwing in a “deep” scene ”just because”. That’s not how it works. While there are ways to allow for a deep scene in a more lighthearted story, the setup still needs to lead there. It needs to make sense to exist within the plot, to the characters, and in the world.

- Tension should build up, and your readers need to care. If your readers don’t care, even a well-written emotional scene will fall flat. Part of getting them to care is managing tension and conflict in a story, which ties back into good storytelling in general. Some of the most effective emotional scenes work as a catharsis, which can only happen if there’s good build-up to begin with.

Good luck with your scenes!

anonymous asked:

unfaithful at first seemed so good so much potential. but jesus it's so stupid that she would take him back that isn't the kind of attitude or thought you should be purporting. imo

Thanks for your feedback, dear. I enjoy hearing both the good and bad.

The story of Agatha and her husband actually stems from my grandparents! They have been married for more than fifty years and I have never met a more loving and happy couple. It really shows that giving someone a second chance isn’t such a bad idea.

However, obviously, this isn’t the case for all couples. Sometimes, people have been hurt beyond repair and there’s no working it out. That decision will come down to the personalities, trust and connection between the two people. The characters in Unfaithful have a true love for the other and Bill works his ass off to prove to her that he needs only her.

I don’t agree that my opinion is right or wrong. It is simply an opinion. :)

anonymous asked:

Do you feel any personal connection to Jeffrey Dahmer? Or any attraction? Or are you really just intellectually interested in him?

I think Jeffrey Dahmer is very physically attractive, but my interest in him is almost purely and greedily psychological. Of course, I identify with him in some trivial ways (ones I’d rather not disclose), but most of his appeal for me is just an insatiable curiosity and desire to understand.

Dating Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder

by Darian Rehder (someone who has BPD) 

Things to Understand: 

1.
Their moods change a lot. This is not your fault most of the time. They just feel a lot, and when they’re attached to someone it can make their feelings stronger. It doesn’t mean that they feel all those things about you all the time. 

2. They probably think you’re going to leave them about every day, sometimes more often. If they ask you if you still like them, it’s because they honestly don’t know if you still do. They need to hear it often.

3. If they get randomly angry in the middle of something that you don’t think needs that kind of response, it is usually because something has triggered them. Learn what triggers the person you’re with, so you can both work to prevent it. 

4. Because they feel intense emotions, they also feel love and happiness at large proportions. This is great, because it means they really appreciate their relationships! 

5. Their minds are often on the most emotionally simulating things in their lives, because emotions this strong are hard to ignore. This means you’re probably on their mind a lot. 

6. They do not want to hurt you, if they truly love you. Sometimes when they get angry or depressed or anxious they feel like they need to hurt you or run away or that they don’t love you. This isn’t true, and they often regret or don’t stand by their emotional breakdowns after awhile. Sometimes immediately. 

Things You Can Do:

1. Validate their emotions. Never call them too emotional, needy, dramatic, intense, etc. even if they call themselves that. 

2. Don’t make promises you can’t keep. Chances are, they really do hold onto your words. 

3. If you are uncomfortable or need a break from them, which is okay, explain it in a way that makes them sure you aren’t going to leave and that you still love them or care about them. 

4. Do something that makes them feel loved and cared for.

5. If they’re in the midst of some negative emotion, don’t say anything judgmental, don’t tell them what to do, and don’t fight with them. This would be a good time to say something reassuring and kind with no judgmental or controlling undertones. If this doesn’t work and it seems to be going in a loop, refer to number three or continue to tell them how important they are to you. 

6. Remember that there are truths to everyone. Your person might feel like something is very sad, and it may not affect you at all. It doesn’t mean either of you are wrong to feel that way. 

7. Spend lots of time with them! Spending time and using your actions is a good way to reassure someone of your love. 

8. Learn what they love and learn what really upsets them. It’s always good to know someone and work to avoid hurting them. They can do this for you too! 

9. Don’t take things to heart. I know this is hard, but when someone with BPD has a breakdown, they often say things that they don’t truly stand by in the end. When they apologize, they often mean it with their whole heart. 

10. NEVER ignore them, unless you absolutely have to. If you can’t talk or don’t want to talk, explain this to them instead of ignoring their messages. When you ignore them, they assume you are going to leave them or that something is wrong. 

Reasons Why Being with Someone Who Has BPD is NOT Bad

1. Their intense emotions are biological, in most cases. It’s the same thing as having less emotions. It is not a bad thing to feel deeply. 

2. They, most likely, love you with all their heart. BPD people have the biggest hearts and really will work to do nice things for you and make you feel loved. 

3. They are most likely loyal as hell, and will put a lot of time and energy into you. 

4. Like any mental illness, BPD is something people do not want to have. This fact will help you remember that they are not deliberately trying to hurt you in any way and really do wish they didn’t have BPD. This is why they ARE NOT ABUSIVE 

5. All relationships need work. Communicating and working together can actually strengthen the bond you two have. 

6. It can be helpful for someone with BPD to have a relationship so they can practice ways to manage their emotions and actions. Chances are, the longer you’re with them, the more comfortable they will be with you. 

7. They’re always there for you too! All people with BPD that I know, including myself, are very good at talking about issues and helping others with problems. If you want to talk, you can count on them to give you all of their effort to help. 

8. Imagine dating someone with no emotions. That’d be probably a lot harder! Appreciate the deepness of your person’s feelings. It can make life a lot easier! 

9. If they are in a relationship with you, it’s probably because they want to be with you. Keep this in mind when they start feeling negatively. 

10. It’s a relationship! That’s always fun. It will have challenges like all relationships, but remembering that you are with someone you love will always make it easier. 

-Darian 

8

philip shea + textpost meme (a pair piece for my lukas one) 

I live for that barely noticeable mole in Yoongi’s nose.

It.

Is.

Just.

Too.

CUTE.

HELP.

*Bless selcas for making it much more noticeable and his nose more than boopable*

Keith and the Red Lion <333

you know when u talk to someone for the first time online and u think they’re rlly cool but then the conversation stutters and u take a little longer to reply because every message u send is an opportunity for them to not reply and you can pretend things are okay if they’re static but you don’t trust yourself to say the right things and eventually your own self doubt causes conversation to die and you end up sabotaging a friendship before it’s begun because you’re too terrified to let even the smallest unknown into your life? bc i feel

i feel like i love differently than others. while some are swept away by romance and love love, i’m more about the connection i have with my significant other, how at ease i am with them, how effortless it is with them. i put more importance on spending time with them and enjoying them, i’m thankful for them, for how safe they make me feel and how caring and thoughtful they are