a people after my own heart


The genuine and instinctive love that people are showing on this day, ten years after Heath Ledger’s death, makes me feel very emotional. Heath was a legend, an outstanding actor and a beautiful person with a heart of gold. No one deserves to endure ten years of their own life without him in this world. It’s always the best people to leave us, but his memory will never die!

                       Heath, I truly miss you. Rest in peace, my dear love                       

remember when kaz brekker told inej ghafa he refused to be the one to mark her body after everything she had been through?? because i sure do. the tattoo was mandatory for everyone in the dregs except her bc self-proclaimed monster kaz brekker had the decency to respect her past trauma & he didnt want her to feel like anyone owned her. and the first thing he did after purchasing her indenture was get her proper clothes?? and a knife??? lbr when will your fave ever


Something bitter is felt in the atmosphere… it’s hard to tell with such a smiling face.


Part 2 is here!

After a long wait, with the help of my buddy @sparksparta, I finally bring you the first part of the comic ‘Bendy in Disney!’ Thank you everyone for your support in this comic, I have been reading your tags and they really warmed my heart! <3

- Mun’s note under cut.

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anonymous asked:

Do you have any advice on how to write a grieving character? Thank you!!


Grieving isn’t pretty. It isn’t always dramatic, either – while some people certainly do go home and throw their favorite vase against the wall, some people retreat into themselves and become emotionally unresponsive (that’s what I do). Violence or anger is more likely to occur if the death is sudden – so is retreating into an emotional shell, really, because it’s often a result of shock. But both can occur outside of a sudden death – cancer isn’t always sudden, but many people still become angry when their loved one is diagnosed with or dies because of it. Basically, if the death feels unfair in any way – if it’s sudden, or if it feels like it happened too early, such as in the case of cancer or of some sort of cardiac disaster (a heart attack, a stroke, etc) – it’s more likely to provoke anger or shock, depending on your character’s temperament and attachment to the dying/dead character.

That was just a general disclaimer. Now, onto the meat of grieving!

Firstly, grieving can begin before the person is technically dead – you don’t have to wait for the person to go flatline and physically stop breathing for your other characters to feel a sense of loss. If your character suffered a medical disaster or an accident that rendered them comatose, or if your character is obviously fighting a losing battle (again, terminal cancer comes to mind), your other characters could start grieving them even though they’re still breathing and their heart is still beating. However, the likelihood is that your characters won’t be able to really start working through the five stages of grief until your character actually does physically die, because rarely does death really hit home until it has occurred.

Speaking of the five stages of grief, those are important! They’re as follows:

  • Denial/Isolation: your characters can’t believe your dead character is really dead. This is a defense mechanism of sorts for your mind – a way to delay at least some of the pain, and give yourself time to process what’s happened (although that processing happens subconsciously, because on the surface you’re denying that anything’s happened at all). If the dead character fought a long battle with an illness before death, this stage may be expedited by the fact that your characters had time to process the character’s dying as it was happening. If the death was sudden in any way, this stage may be prolonged, because it will be harder to comprehend something that happened so quickly, and shock will be more likely to occur.
  • Anger: the pain your characters were masking in the denial stage starts to come to the surface, and as a response to the pain, your characters get angry (just as many other vulnerable emotions, such as fear, are expressed as anger – anger is a tough emotion, as opposed to fear and grief, so most people subconsciously opt for anger because it makes them feel less vulnerable). They may feel they’ve been robbed of your dead character’s companionship. Their anger may manifest itself in many different ways: isolation, irritability, or self-destructive behavior, to name a few. Their anger may also direct itself at various places: the medical professionals who failed to save your dead character’s life, God for taking your dead character, even the dead character him/herself, if they could in any way be responsible for their own death (if they were driving intoxicated, if they never ate healthily and suffered a heart attack, etc.).
  • Bargaining: before death, this stage may manifest itself as “please God, just let them live and I’ll tithe my ten percent and go to church every Sunday”, or “please, [Dying character’s name], just hold on and get better and we’ll [do that thing the dying character has always wanted to do]”. (Keep in mind that most people have an astounding impulse to be religious during a time of crisis, whether they’ve been religious in the past or not.) After death, this stage may manifest itself in the “could’ve-should’ve-would’ve” philosophy: “if only we’d taken them to the doctor sooner”, “I should’ve made him stay home”, “I knew there was something wrong with him!”, and so on. This stage is generally an attempt to regain control of the situation – your characters feel like they’re taking some kind of action by offering a proposition, or by placing blame.
  • Depression: there are two types of depression associated with grief. In the first (which is almost more similar to anxiety) your characters worry more about others: what if I haven’t been there for people when they needed me, how are we going to pay for the funeral/burial services, and so on. Basically it deals more with the practical aspects of the character’s death. The second type is more introspective – your characters may retreat into themselves and analyze old memories of your dead character, and their feelings on everything that’s happened. This type is private, and your characters probably won’t share much about their thoughts if they experience it.
  • Acceptance: this stage is marked by withdrawal and calm – it can sometimes be difficult to distinguish from depression. It’s not a stage of joyous frolicking and exclaiming, “It’s okay! I understand everything about [Dead Character’s] death!”. Your characters may still not understand the purpose of your dead character’s death, but understanding and acceptance are not synonyms, nor are they mutually inclusive. The important thing about this stage is that your characters can make peace with the death, and can move on.

Keep in mind that while I’ve listed these stages in what is regarded as their general order, every person (and character) grieves differently – they may experience these emotions in a different order than that above. They may also go through one or several of the stages more than once, or cycle through the first four of them multiple times before reaching the fifth. Some characters may not even reach the fifth at all – depending on the circumstances of the death and the character’s attachment to your dead character, they may never fully accept your dead character’s death. The stages above are just a general framework for grieving.

Also, keep in mind that if your character’s death was tied in any way to traumatic incidents for your other characters, it may complicate the grieving process for those other characters, because the character’s death will be tied to other painful or triggering memories.

I hope this helps! If you need anything else, please feel free to ask. - @authors-haven

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➤ Character: Min Yoongi x reader

➤ Genre/word count: Angst, Future Smut/Mature scenes, Arranged Marriage! AU / 7,174 words

➤ Summary: He is the successor of his family’s business empire, and you are the female heir of yours. After the trouble his older brother had created in the past, he now must face certain requirements needed for the sake of the family’s future and to save his rights of inheritance, and you become his only way out. Everything might seem so simple, just the way they are supposed to. But everything isn’t always what it seems, is it?

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Lift my dress up at a party because you got dared to? I'll get you kicked off the lacrosse team.

Last year, I attended a tailgate party that so happened to be hosted by the men’s and women’s lacrosse team. I was wearing a tighter black dress with cute sneakers and a baseball cap to dress it down. Not that what I was wearing even mattered. Not even 10 minutes into this party, and my friend and I are on the lawn of this party talking to people when I feel hands around my waist and my dress completed lifted up to my waist. Mortified, I turned around and about a dozen of the lacrosse boys are sitting on a couch they brought outside cracking up.

I immediately go up to the boy who did this and gave him my 2 cents. Being a couple beers in, I had way more confidence than I would, so a few curse words were thrown in and then I began crying because I was humiliated. The boys, and even a couple girls who were chilling on this damn couch, said “You need to chill the fuck out, it was only a dare.” Crying, one of the girls stood up and said “She needs to leave. She’s causing too much drama.” I was livid. I walked away, still crying, when another girl came up to me to apologize for everything that just happened. She brought over the guy who lifted my skirt up and made him apologize. He said he was sorry, and as soon as he turned away and started heading back to his crew, they were all laughing again. I don’t know why but I was still talking to this girl for a couple minutes because she was really apologetic for what I had just gone through. That’s when the guy came back over along with another guy, where they told me it was a dare and to not take it seriously.

I couldn’t let this go. I left the party and didn’t even go to the game because I was so upset and humiliated. I talked to my dad and he told me to file a police report on them, where they can report it to the athletic director. Long process but the kid got kicked off his lacrosse team, along with the boy who dared him to do it. They also both lost their scholarships. And the guy who lifted my skirt up had to go to court and everything. It completely shocked me and took me by surprise how seriously they took this.

AKA, dare or not, do not sexually harass women. I think we all know from this year that there are heavy consequences to this and I’m glad more people are taking a stand on this.


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  • You: goro akechi is a terrible irredeemable character and you're horrible for liking him!
  • Me, an intellectual: Goro Akechi is an incredibly complex character who has had to put up with a lifetime of abuse and made some extremely bad, reckless decisions in his life that I doubt anyone approves of. He has an obsession with praise and acknowledgement that lead him to working with Shidou and ended up getting himself trapped there for two and a half years. There is evidence to suggest that he was heavily mentally ill and regretted his actions, especially after he found out that he could steal hearts instead of killing people. He did not have someone to guide him like the Thieves had Morgana. Yes, he is a perpetrator and I am not denying that, but he is also a victim as well who was blinded by his own selfishness, and was played by every side (Shidou, the Thieves, and Yaldabaoth all used him as a pawn) and, after some coercion, near-willingly payed the price. He's a warning, an example of what the Thieves could have been and he is my favorite character due to the complexity of his character and role in the plot, flaws and all.
  • You: ...
  • You: i can't read suddenly i dont know
transcript of the speech i gave at Vassar’s black baccalaureate service

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, honored guests, and the Vassar class of 2017.
Just saying that aloud made me feel old. Class of 2017? Most of y'all were born after dark-skinned Aunt Viv left the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. That’s wild.

I want to first thank you for allowing me to be a part of such a special moment in your lives. I am honored, privileged, and a bit in disbelief that you asked me of all people to give this address. I try not to have feelings, and I’m going to do my best not to cry today, but no promises.

I’m here to stand in the gap between you and your parents and guardians and any other elders in your lives that you stopped listening to because you thought they were wack and out of touch. I remember being in your shoes not TOO long ago, and it is my fervent prayer that something that I say here today will help you avoid some of the mess I went through.
To be honest I’m a little nervous, but I figured there was no way could this be worse than when Betsy DeVos went down to Bethune-Cookman, so let’s get started.

As you transition to life after Vassar the changes will be both inevitable and swift, so I’d like to begin by giving you some well-intentioned advice and warning you about the continued process of becoming an adult.

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  • Symmetra: *Wakes up in a pool of blood* What... What happened? I thought we all...
  • Mercy: Died? *laughs* Heavens no! ... Well, yes. But only momentarily! Your hearts barely had time to stop beating! After Reaper broke my staff, he merely drained all of your blood. So! I just put it back in! *Pouring blood into Junkrat's chest*
  • Symmetra: I refuse to believe it's that easy.
  • Mercy: I know! Why do people even go to medical school?
  • Symmetra: Wait, how'd you separate out all the blood types?
  • Junkrat: Ha! "Different types of blood"! Sym came back stupid!
  • Mercy: Ha! Yes, what foolishness... *Whispering* Satya, I've been using my own underwear to sponge blood out of puddles. Trust me. The type is the least of your problems.
  • Symmetra: Oh God... Are we going to be okay...?
  • Mercy: I would drink plenty of water. Oh, and blood if you can find any.
  • submitted by anon

anonymous asked:

Don't you find it ironic that Mark ask us to respect Felix even though Felix never showed us (Jewish People) any respect? I get where he is coming from but I'm sick of seeing Mark being held as some kind of messiah in the fandom.

No, I don’t find it ironic. See, it doesn’t matter how a person treats you, words are words. Standing up and being the better person is more important than falling to their level, or below, and slinging insults, stripping away their humanity over a joke. Felix did not mean to have his joke interpretted the way he did. A joke does not equal how you actually feel. Watch his video. Take away your biases for a moment and watch the video.

I see it like “Oh i’m gonna drink bleach” or “oh, you stupid little shit, i’m gonna kill you”. You don’t take those jokes seriously. And with that, seeing how there are legitimately disgusting people following Felix, that doesn’t matter, either. You are not your followers. People I disagree with followed me before I spoke out. People Felix disagree with may have left, too after he openly told them to fuck off.

Taking words to heart is bullshit in my opinion. You give meaning to those words. You allow people to speak and allow them to dig themselves their own graves. I am a free speech absolutist. I will defend ANYONE’S right to speak as long as they aren’t making bomb threats, or other threats of the sort. What Felix did was not that, simply something to point out how ridiculous those sites were. 

Censoring language is more oppressive and dictorial than allowing someone to speak. Personally, as someone with Jewish people in my family, I couldn’t give a single shit what Felix said because I’m not thin skinned and I know he didn’t truly believe in what he was saying. Dark humor is dark humor. You hate it or you love it. And censoring what people find funny is bullshit. Humor can be a way to cope, and a joke does not equal what you truly feel. Ie) Dead baby jokes.  Disney had every right to drop him, though it’s bullshit that all that hard work was lost.

Friend, I think Mark had a point. Despite this being a Markiplier blog and me kinda focusing on him everyday, I’m able to step back and realize his faults. Analyze the whole situation. People deserve to be treated civily and with respect, no matter what comes out of their mouth, again, as long as it isn’t a threat. You need to step away from this super sensitive, don’t hurt anyone’s feelings for a second and realize, that that is only causing more hatred.

We cannot fight hate with hate. We need to stand up and be bigger people, friend. Sinking down and allowing anger to control us does not make us better. We better this world by showing kindness and respect to people, even if they spit the worst of venom. What I’m seeing is hate being combated with hate, and more hate being produced. This battle is dividing us, friend. Please, take a look around at the world. How divided and hostile we’ve become towards each other. I’ve been in the center of politics for years now, and I’ve watched things be torn apart.

You don’t have to like a person, you can even hate them, to respect them and treat them like another fellow human. This isn’t about Felix right now. But people you see as your enemy, see themselves making the world a better place. They are not set out to destroy this planet. They aren’t sitting, petting a cat and twirling their mustache.

Until this site learns to treat people in a civil and respectful manner, we will only further divide and increase this tension with one another. Spreading hate over meaningless things. We don’t have long on this planet, and worrying about being victims instead of being survivors and working with each other will get us nowhere.


Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Prompt Request:  Hello there! I just want to say that I absolutely love your writing! Thank you for blessing us with your magnificent fics! I would also like to request something if you don’t mind. Bucky x reader songfic with the song Woman by Harry Styles. (They are at a party and start singing karaoke & Bucky is jealous of the guy who’s been dancing with the reader during the night so he picks the song and sings it to the reader, smut happens.) Thank you!!! :))))

Word Count: 5,068 (WHAT?!)

Warnings: Explicit language, fluff (don’t blink or you’ll miss it), Slight Smut 18+ ONLY please, Neck biting, dirty talk, B.J. (You know what it means), hints to future unprotected sex (WRAP IT UP PEOPLE, this is fiction) 

A/N: I have not posted in a while I am so so sorry but work has been extremely stressful and I’ve been sad. So if this is bad I’m sorry. I hope you enjoy it, this was my first song-fic request so feedback is much appreciated. To the Anon who requested I hope it is okay, To be tagged and for future tags, drop an ask, I don’t bite.

When The infamous Tony Stark made the promise to the team that the next get together he had planned for the tower was nothing like his usual ‘Be classy but dress slutty’ parties, everyone thought they were being put on. Everyone knew that unless it was anything that helped develop and evolve the worlds of science, Tony just wouldn’t change. There was no way he would be able to pull that type of promise off right? Right.

Oh boy were you wrong. In just four short days the lounge went from party bar bonanza, to one of the best karaoke joints in all of New York, (For a limited time only. ). Where the very long marble white bar table once stood, now sported a very expensive yet authentic polished high bar, able to seat at least fifteen. The rest of the room was filled with large round tables, wooden chairs, a dance floor, and a ascended part of floor that held the microphone, two high tech holographic screens that flashed the lyrics, and a 3-D screen that showed various backgrounds depending on what song you choose to sing.

The place was mildly occupied. Each table was filled with guests and the small groups of stragglers that arrived did not mind standing along-side the walls and by the bar. It was a nice change to see people who would usually dress like it was a red carpet now dressed in formal jeans, boots, and nice dress shirts. The very casual dress code  allowed you to wear a nice sleeveless black top, your cleavage leaving nothing to the imagination, dark blue jeans that hugged the curves of your body nicely, and a simple pair of black ankle boots that took you a few weeks to learn to properly walk in.

“I gotta admit Tony, you have really outdone yourself this time.” You called out to your friend as you walked to the back wall of the lounge to stand beside him.

“I know.” He stated with a small smile, his eyes not leaving the environment. He loved admiring his work, and it brought you joy to see him genuinely happy with something he created.

“Have you decided what song your gonna sing?” He asked.

“I’m thinking Shakira since I am in love with her, but I need a partner for the male parts.” You answered, now taking a sip of your small glass of mixed vodka.

“Ask Barnes, I’m sure he would love to sing with you.” He teased. He turned to face you and smiled sarcastically. It was one of those smiles that instinctively made your eyes roll, but with Tony being Tony, a smile could not help but creep onto your lips. In an attempt to hide your amusement you simply shook your head, bringing the cup up to your lips once again.

The feelings you had for Barnes were not a secret. Everyone in the tower knew you had a huge crush on him, they teased you for it on a daily basis. You were even positively sure that Bucky was aware that you liked him. You wanted to act on it, but anytime you even brought up the notion of a simple dinner between close friends he looked at you like it was the end of the world and nervously declined. After about the fourth of fifth attempt you got the message he would never want something with you, and stopped your attempts completely.

“You and I both know that is not true.” You started as you finished swallowing the liquid, now tuning to face him. “He doesn’t even want to have dinner with me, let alone go on stage and sing in front of people beside me.”

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About that neck touch...

So after spending way more of my life than is probably healthy looking at and analyzing every single shot from this episode that could possibly be construed at Destiel-related, even a TINY BIT, I realized that there is one shot people seem to not discuss very much…

Now. I know what you’re saying–”but we’ve TALKED about the hand-holding!” And yes, my friends, hands touching are always worth discussing (and discussing…and discussing…), but what I want to talk about is Dean’s OTHER hand…

Now…I am a theater child. I grew up doing shows. And I know that actors tend to be touchy-feely people, even when they are just friends. It’s what they do. My friends and I had no problem treating one another like armchairs half of the time, sitting in one another’s laps, leaning our heads on each others’ shoulders. So whenever people start pointing at some of these touches as evidence of Destiel, one part of me gets very excited, while the other part says “now hang on, you and your friends totally did this same stuff and it didn’t mean anything other than that you were friends.”


In this shot, Dean doesn’t JUST touch Cas’s hand, or even his back. From what I can see of this shot, he puts his hand on the lower part of Cas’s neck. Now even I, my touchy-feely-theater-person-self, would never have touched the back of a friend’s neck. That is just getting a little bit too intimate for friendship. That is not what friends do, even the most lovey ones.

That is what my boyfriend does.

Note, too, how Dean’s hand lingers on Cas’s neck (or upper back, as he does seem to slide it down slightly after the initial contact). He maintains contact until Cas breaks it to turn around, a gesture of comfort both for Cas and himself, of reminding himself that Cas is here and is really okay.

Folks, this is not the touch of someone who is just a friend, nor is it an unintentional gesture made by actors who are just doing what touchy people do. This is the gesture shared by two characters who are much, much closer than just friends. And it, even more than the hand-clasping, set my heart to fluttering :).

When I was younger, my mother told me that each person has a cup of love; we empty it out and fill it up as we give and receive love. I often spilled mine over the shoelaces of boys with dimples I easily adore, over the ankles of goddesses who don’t even know my existence. As I grew up a little, I learned to keep my love in vials so that they won’t spill on the floor when I chase ex-girlfriends or strangers who merely looked at my direction. Still, I easily made these vials into gifts and hand them out to anyone who shows but a little attention.
As I grew a lot older, I eventually stopped chasing boys with plastic smiles and girls with paper hearts. I learned not to depend on other people’s affection and I filled my own cup. I guess I got tired of running after people who don’t even look behind their backs.
When I met you, you asked how did I become one strong, independent woman and I told you about the cup of love and that I only learned it from years and years of receiving leftovers when I endowed every single drop I had, so I had to fill mine. I do not deserve leftovers, you said. You will pour out the entire measure of your cup to mine so I would never fill empty again, you said.
But I never told you that although I used to always, always empty out my contents to the wrong people, my cup was still overflowing because my mother never failed to refill that which I spilled on other’s feet. By doing this, she patiently taught me how to look for people who could reciprocate what I give and when I can’t find them, I had to be the one to fill my own. That’s why when she died, I never really felt dried up even though the source of the river which always replenished my cup was gone. Because I became my own spring.
I always thought that your cracks and crevices only made you more beautiful for they were proof of how you weathered your storms. I must’ve forgotten the lessons my mother taught me because I failed to see that those cracks were not artifacts on a museum gallery–those crevices eventually became a trench making it impossible for my spring to fill. I tried to fix you. But I should have believed you when you told me that you destroy the people you love, because that was precisely what you did to me.
—  How can I fill my own when you took my entire cup, you f*cking thief? // kabalintunaan

Had a Gency soap opera tonight!

I was playing Mercy in quick play and my team could NOT get their shit together and attack properly, so in the last minute or so I gave up and used the sit emote in the middle ground between points. Enemy Genji and Mercy came up to us and said hello and we all just screwed around for a bit. Then the enemy team unleashed ALL of their ults on us at once - I was the first to die. The clock ran out just as I was running out of spawn and lo and behold the enemy Genji was there to meet me. But he killed me completely unnecessarily.

I called him out in all chat and he said, “You left me!” And at first I was confused and then I realized it was because I’d DIED and left him.


“You left me :’(”

“I left you for like 30 sec so you murder me??”

Neither of us switches our queue and we end up against each other again. Enemy Genji complains that we aren’t on the same team in all chat.

“No no no! We’re not together!”

“You murdered me.”

“Please baby I’m a changed man! Don’t leave me again!”

And so on and so forth lol. We stayed in the same queue and kept getting placed on opposite teams - much to his dismay. On Volskaya, he accidentally killed me twice and was very upset by it - I chastised him and told him I had a new Genji (one of my teammates just so happened to have switched to Genji at the time). He begged me not to leave him again.

He got potg at one point with his ult and all of us watched him run around murdering my teammates. During this time we could all clearly see him turn, see me, then turn away and go after someone else.

“See how I didn’t go after you there?”

“I saw”

One of his teammates: “Dude she got a rez after that you should have killed her.”

“Nah, I’d rather her rez.”

((Side note: I ended up getting 7 votes on my card at the end of that game because I was getting multiple triple and quad-rez))

Finally after several matches, we got put on the same team. 

“asdjf;asldkfja;dfljkasdf FINALLY!! THE STARS HAVE ALIGNED!”

We proceeded to kick butt - he was pretty good at surviving on his own, but when he needed heals he would always come back to me when asking (and he only asked twice and always said thank you). He also tried to protect me when he could and even killed people that had just killed me to avenge my death.

Overall, my best experience with a Genji yet - so much fun! And my shipper heart was soaring! <3

I chose, I chose letting you come into my life and making a mess of it. I knew what I was doing, I knew what I was getting into, and yet, I decided to continue to give you the power of building me or destroying me. It seems you chose too, and it was not in my favor. It seems as if each time I try to trust someone with my heart they choose to reject it. I thought with you it would be different, that probably I would be the one who would break your heart, but once again I was mistaken, I got attached and you decided to walk away. You helped me put my hopes up, you taught me how to care for you, and then decided you were not ready for whatever this was, maybe it was not enough for you, or maybe it was too much. The real reason why you walked away, I will never know, because you shut yourself and avoided me, I wanted an explanation, I needed an explanation, I thought that it was my fault, sometimes i still think it is. You left me hanging from an infinite that never came, I stood there waiting for you to come back, waiting for you to pick me up from the ground, for you to tell me, me and my heart were going to be fine, I was waiting for you to come tell me something at all. I will be ok eventually, I have always gotten better after a failure in love, I will have to add this one to the list. It was good while it lasted. I won’t say you broke my heart, but I will say you cracked it. It will get a scar from this experience, but it will help it be stronger for the next time. You didn’t break me, after all I gave you the way in.  

I am more than what meets the eye, I appear as the cold hearted woman most people are too afraid to get close to, I made my own image, I am conscious of the what I project, I planned it to be this way because I was tired of people breaking me every time. I told you that before we started, how every man had played with my feelings and my lips, how after each was done they had walked away from me, never looking back. I told you I had a difficult time believing in love because all of my stories had ended badly, for me at least, and you promised me you wouldn’t do that, you told me you were not capable of breaking my heart, that I was going to become your everything, the person you cared about the most. You broke your promise, you left, just like the rest of them. How am I supposed to keep believing that something wonderful will happen to me if every time I try I fail? I have told myself that I will be my own savior, but it is exhausting, fighting always for myself. I don’t need someone, you know that, but I want someone with whom I can share some of the weight. I wanted someone to help me carry my burdens before they buried me, but now i have the feeling that I will have to keep carrying them on my own.

I chose to let you in and I don’t regret my choice, I don’t know if I would do it again, because as hard as it is for me to admit it, it hurts, badly.

—  A.G

anonymous asked:

why exactly do people think that timmy and armie are passionately in love?

I’m going to try to be as thoughtful as I can be about this because it involves opinions and someone is bound to be put off by whatever I say, so hopefully this is coherent.  I’ll also preface this by saying that everyone is different, and some people ship them for different reasons than I may list here. 

There are layers to this question that I think need to be addressed before I can answer. The first is what kind of love we’re talking about here, just so anyone reading knows exactly what I’m referring to. “Passionately in love” is a very different description from “love.” There are people who like Charmie that don’t or won’t cross over that line into the “Passionately in love” theories, but will happily stick to the “love” ones. And then there’s the opposite, and there are people in this fandom who see it as some limbo state between simple love and something more romantic. Sorry for going through this, but I really like to establish what level of love we’re talking about in cases like this. To be clear, I fall somewhere in the middle. Think of these shippers as people on a spectrum of emotional chaos which shifts and moves day by day. 

SO, why do people think they’re passionately in love? There are a few reasons, probably many more than I’ll be able to list here and even am aware of. The first is the raw vulnerability the two had to tap into the film their scenes together. Their roles were emotionally challenging and required a lot from them, especially the emotionally intimate scenes where the majority of what’s happening for their characters is beneath the dialogue. By the very nature of creating scenes like that, there was a necessity for them to grow close enough to develop a bond and trust that would allow them to generate that emotion and portray it honestly. Yes, it’s acting, but any actor will tell you that you pull from experience and build off of and use what you know. This is the case with them, we know because they’ve said so in interviews, as has Luca. They’ve talked about how they had to be vulnerable and let that be a part of their process, and Luca has mentioned that he was trying to capture organic moments instead of contrived ones. This can only happen if there is a high level of comfort between actors, in this case caused by emotional intimacy. They spent nearly every moment awake together or at least near one another. That’s a lot of time logged generating chemistry and emotional intimacy. 

This leads me to the second big factor for shippers: the parallels. I know, I know, that’s fiction and this is reality. However, a distinct line drawn between the two doesn’t exist in the case. It’s incredibly blurred, something that the actors and Luca have alluded to, even said, but it’s also something noticeable in their speech. They often slip up in talking about scenes, drifting from Oliver/Elio to referring to those characters as Armie/Timmy/Me/Him/Us/We/Our. Some actors just do this, it could mean nothing. Luca does it too, though, when he talks about them. Sometimes he’ll talk about a scene they filmed and he says Armie did this or Timmy did that, one time he actually in the middle of a sentence backtracked because he caught himself describing Armie doing something instead of Oliver, and backed up to fix his error. There’s also the element of their lives in Italy serving as a striking mirror to Oliver and Elio’s story itself. They describe their meeting as a meet-cute that screenwriters not only dream to be able to create, but in some cases probably have. They describe their chemistry as instant, and then the first thing they did together was ride around Crema on their bikes, Timmy showing Armie around. They spent their days talking about books and music and rode bikes and had meals together and spent so much time together. Then they began filming and they did the scenes in order, meaning as Oliver and Elio build intimacy, so are Armie and Timmy after already living mirror lives for a few weeks to Oliver and Elio’s casual day to day routine. Normally, parallels might not be that significant, but in this case, the sheer amount and nature of the parallels is enough to make it clear that this was a unique experience that generated genuine chemistry, intimacy, and emotion, because it was happening in real time on and off screen, romantic or not. It cannot be emphasized enough that a huge selling point for shippers is that Luca, Armie, and Timmy all have said that the environment Luca created, which consisted of endless parallels, made it easy to develop chemistry and intimacy with the characters, as well as each other. 

This leads to the third and final reason I’ll cover, which is the way Armie and Timmy talk about one another, as well as how they act (their body language) around each other. Those slip ups I already mentioned are when they’re trying to talk about their characters. There’s a whole other element, though, which is that they talk about their real life relationship as being something special. Armie has said so many times that they’re closer today than they were when they filmed. Armie has also said that he loves timmy, fell in love with him, multiple times. Timmy has also said it. Their body language is a display of emotion and genuine adoration. There is a magnetic response that happens when they’re near each other, and I’m not trying to romanticize it I promise. If you watch, they gravitate towards one another. 

Now, just one of these things alone is one thing. But combined, and adding in all the other various reasons I haven’t covered, people find themselves a bit conflicted. If this were a tv show and you were an objective observer, you’d see these signs and think it was a classic set up, the writers foreshadowing something that’s clearly in the works. But this is reality, and that’s so much messier, especially when you throw in the fact that Armie has a wife and two kids, and is presumably very very happy with them. Hence the shipping being more like a spectrum where day by day you can go from appreciating their love and thinking it’s likely just platonic, to seeing all of this and being overwhelmed, thinking there’s no way it’s just platonic. 

My final point to leave you with, dear anon, is a personal opinion, which I realize I probably shouldn’t offer up in a meta post about shipping, but I feel may help you understand when you see me reblog things that are clearly implicating some romance. It’s difficult to look at them and not see that they care about each other as humans. But the glances and everything I’ve mentioned above create this feeling that’s hard to shake once you get it. There’s a natural anxiety when it comes to looking at these two and recognizing classic signs of infatuation. Logic kicks in and you think that there’s no way they’re romantically involved. For some, that’s where the process ends and that’s perfectly valid. But then, for someone like me, I think about how close they had to be in Italy, and how Timmy punched a wall during the filming of their last kiss “out of frustration” and that Armie began pulling back because he felt people around him weren’t as invested in the emotions and story as he was, and this narrative is formed without any help from anyone but them and Luca. The reality is, Timmy thought about leaving the set and Italy when he filmed that last scene, he said as much. The reality is, Armie considers the experience to have changed his entire life. There was a love that built there, whether it was romantic or not who’s to say but them for sure. But what I can say is that it literally pains me to think about two people finding each other and having instant chemistry, spend day in day out with each other for two, two and a half months, and then walk away like nothing ever happened. It hurts my heart to think that love can be so easily discarded. I hold onto the idea of shipping them because to think they let that love fall away after filming is something I personally cannot cope with, not just because it’s them, but because it’s love. The rest is semantics. It boils down to love, and it’s there. Whether or not they ever act on it is the issue, it’s the issue that a lot of people debate and take sides on. That’s okay, because looking at love is always entirely subjective. It’s constructed of your own experiences, your own emotions and heart. What I see is foreign to someone else who has had completely different but perfectly valid experiences and is absolutely fine with assessing this stuff between Armie and Timmy and coming to the conclusion that nothing ever has or will ever happen. That’s fine. That’s beautiful, actually. 

So, why do people think they’re passionately in love? The long answer is above. The short answer, lovely anon, is that people see what they need to see. Why do we ship anyone, why do we think our crush might have been staring when we see them look away? We see things because our heart decides that there is something worthwhile to stake a claim on, and our head relents. It’s all about what you’re bringing into the equation, my friend. Once you realize that, it all makes a little more sense. 

anonymous asked:

I NEED a BLURB ABOUT HOLDING HARRY BC HE is sad about his performance and you comfort him pleaseeee

Here you go, have some fluff :)

Saturday Night

He was nervous.

He didn’t want me or anyone else to know he was, but I could tell. And who wouldn’t be? It was his first performance in over a year, and his first ever as a solo artist. I would have been nothing but a ball of nerves if it were me. He’d paced back and forth in the green room, spreading his fingers out as far as they would go, bringing them back into a fist over and over again, repeating the cycle each time he’d make it to the other end of the room and turn around on his heels.

I’d sat quietly on the sofa, nibbling on the display of fruit and crackers that sat in the middle of the coffee table. I was nervous too, but I said nothing unless it was to reply to a question, giving him the most space I possibly could. I’d asked him earlier if he would rather I took a seat in the audience, but he assured me he wanted me backstage, waiting for his return. Though he never expressed why exactly, I took it to mean he wanted me to be there for him, for him to see my face and perhaps share an embrace after he’d walked off stage, and I took comfort in that.

I’d watched his first performance on the monitor in the green room, sitting on the edge of my seat, my hands tucked underneath my thighs as I bit my bottom lip. By the end of the song, I’d felt my eyes well up, quickly wiping them away with the back of my hand before he saw. I could tell as soon as he walked in that he was less than pleased with himself. He’d missed a couple of notes, his voice raspier than usual from all the practicing, and once he’d even had to drop a word at the end of the phrase due to lack of air. I knew he had to be mentally scolding himself. But I’d thought it was flawless. He’d done it. He was Harry Styles, rockstar.

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Plots based on kpop songs

Toy || Block B- Character A is in love with Character B, but Character B is just playing with Character A, and isn’t invested in the relationship. Key Line: “because you are the only one for me// and to you I am one of many.”

Bad || Infinite- typical bad girl/bad boy scenario, where the Character A comes and goes from Character B’s life in waves. Key Line: “you come to me like you have me/ you wrap around me/ then you disappear like a dream.”

Blood, Sweat, Tears || BTS - Character A gives their all in the relationship, and Character B is alluring and dangerous. A toxic relationship where Character A is more than willing to be hurt by Character B. Key Lines: “peaches and cream/sweeter than sweet/chocolate cheeks and chocolate wings/ but your wings are devil’s wings.”

Whistle || BLACKPINK - Character A finds Character B to be the most beautiful/handsome person. Character A is sought after, but only wants to be with Character B. Key Lines: “Don’t pass me by/if you can’t forget me either/my heart for you is fire.”

Liar Liar || Oh My Girl- Character A has a crush on Character B, but gets insecure and jealous when other people flirt with Character B, so refuses to own up to their crush. Typical “admire from afar” plot, or unrequited love. Key Lines: “not yet, not yet//I can’t tell him. Who’s that, who’s that//The pretty girl who said hi.”

Call Me Baby || EXO- Characters A and B are total strangers who meet suddenly, and Character A is immediately infatuated with them. Character proceeds to flirt and do anything to try and get with Character B. Key line: “I’ll do what I need to be the man by your side.”

Eyes, Nose Lips || Taeyang- Characters A and B are breaking up. Character A wants the breakup to go smoothly, but Character B is a mess. Character B was possessive to the point of them breaking up over it. Key line: “my selfishness that couldn’t let you go/my obsession that imprisoned you.”

If You || BIGBANG- Characters A and B are exes. It was a mutual breakup, but Character B is looking back on it and regretting the decision to break up with Character A. Character B realizes that they have to move on anyway, but they can’t. Key Line: “If it’s not too late, can’t we get back together?

Beautiful Liar || VIXX LR- Character A is a cold person who has trouble expressing their feelings. They hide their feelings and hurt Character B to make Character B leave them because they believe that Character B is too good for them, and that they are ruining Character B. Key Line:as I replay your face when you screamed go away/ I’m tainting our memories that were beautiful.”

Just Right || GOT7 - Characters A and B are dating. Character A is incredibly insecure about themselves, and believes that Character B shouldn’t be with them. Character B does everything in their power to make Character A see that they are perfect. Key Lines: “if you just stay the way you are now/ i want nothing more so don’t change anything.”

Like A Cat || AOA- Character A is a exotic dancer at a club. Character B is a wealthy person who comes in and pays high dollar to see Character A dance, to the point that Character A agrees to meet with them. Character B tries all the tricks to sleep with Character A, who is pleasantly surprised by the attention. Key Lines: “You say you’ve never seen a girl like me before/that you had a feeling as soon as you saw me/ said that I especially shined/even among the many people.”

Ah Choo || Lovelyz- Character A is your stereotypical domestic partner, and has a crush on Character B. Character A is incredibly sweet and shy, and is too afraid to go up to Character B, but leaves little notes and handmade snacks for Character B at work/school/whatever fits the scenario. Key Lines: “there’s so many things I want to tell you/my lips tickle and it’s hard to hold back.”

I’m Sorry || CNBLUE- Character A doesn’t like Character B anymore, but Character B doesn’t seem to understand that. Character A makes it a point to leave things early, and break off contact, but Character B doesn’t understand the implications. It is a breakup that is being avoided. Key lines: “you said you loved me/that i was the only one for you/but those were all lies.”


Pairing : Jeon Jungkook x Female Reader
Genre : Best Friend jjk  ;  fluff ?
Wordcounter :  1,244 words

Part 1| Part 2 | Part 3

For @celiaqi98 cause I love that Hoe


The first word that comes to my mind when I think of him. 
Jeon Jungkook.
His dark brown hair- a perfect contrast to his slightly tanned skin and his prominent deep brown eyes. Superficially, he really is the perfect human being. But if you look deeper, you discover that under the beautiful shell, there is an even nicer core. His smile which- if it is sincere- could brighten a room and provide a moment for worlds peace. The sound of his laughter is carefree, stunning and one of the most beautiful sounds my ears have ever heard.

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