a part of kenny died that day

“they all had something they were drunk on. it kept them moving. they were all slaves to something. what about you? being a hero?” – kenny to levi

yes and no. depends on how you define hero. arguably, levi doesn’t want to be the typical hero – humanity’s strongest who kills titans and keeps fear subdued – but i feel like a part of him does want to be the hero. just not the traditional one.

the something levi’s drunk on is surviving. living keeps him moving. one more step, one more day. of course, there’s some selfish interest in wanting to survive, but it’s more than that. his mother died and left him behind. so did isabel and farlan. and now kenny. they weren’t exactly family, but they were as close as a family could get. and that familiarity has extended to eren, mikasa, etc. since levi’s older, he’s kind of in that kuchel / kenny position. and well, he doesn’t want to leave eren & co. behind because he knows what that feels like. it’s not because he sees them as dependent on him, but because he just wants to be there. & in order to be there, he has to survive.

now, it’s important to note that levi’s not reprimanding kuchel and kenny for dying. it’s more like – he’s living for them. he’s the life they could not continue to have. but at the same time, he’s living for himself. not in a “make something out of yourself” kind of way, but a “make it worth it” way. he truly sees life as a gift, rather than a burden.