a pair & a spare

ok this my list of hoe tips and life tips in general

- can’t get ur pussy smooth?? always prickly?? shave diagonally and horizontally instead of up and down, and always use a new blade

- can’t get ur pussy soft?? shave with hair conditioner and massage it in for like 30 seconds before. after u shave, massage with baby oil, and lotion after a shower

- EXFOLIATE. exfoliating is the key to life. mix used coffee grounds with a moisturizing oil (olive or coconut is best). rub that shit all over your legs before you shave until ur hands start to feel funny

- dry feet?? bih me too. rub a fuck ton of regular lotion (or foot cream if u fancy, even Vaseline works) all over your feet and put double socks (or fuzzy socks) on before bed. yass

- this one is the most basic but pls drink water. it’ll clear ur skin, flush out your kidneys to prevent bladder infections, and ur pussy gonna be wet asf

- salt, fat, caffeine, dairy, etc. r gonna make u taste all funky down there. fruits, veggies, and anything w high water content is gonna make u taste fresh/sweet

- smoking and drinking also gonna make u taste funky. and smoking is especially bad for u, so put out the cig babe

- using soap on ur pussy gonna fuck up ur pH bad. the vagina is a self cleaning device, and all u need is a really soft washcloth (or even a cotton shirt) and some water, let ur body do ur thing

- if ur used to wearing tampons and that’s what u find comfortable, use a menstrual cup! very sanitary and will save u a TON of money in the long run

- want a natural lip plumper?? mix a lil bit of cinnamon and honey, and gently rub it into your lips w a soft toothbrush n leave it on for a min. slather on some chapstick n ur plump n soft

- BUY A VIBRATOR. please do it. it will save ur fucking life

- cotton panties or no panties sis. ur kitty needs to breathe and cotton/no panties will prevent bacterial and fungal infection

- got hair on ur face? got rough skin? GURL SHAVE IT! wash your face as normal and pat dry, gently run a clean razor over any areas (cheeks, chin, neck). tone and moisturize like a motherfucker. smooth!

- pubic hair is healthy and good and keeps ur vag clean! don’t shave it unless YOU want to, don’t leave that decision up to ur nasty man

- allow urself junk in moderation. it’ll make making healthy choices easier if u allow urself a little treat every once in a while

- a simple equation for a good meal: vegetable + grain/carb, protein

- do ur fucking homework and do it on time

- rubbing a little bit of petroleum jelly on ur pressure points before spraying perfume will make it last longer

- hair holds onto scents v easily. wanna smell like a goddess????,,, spritz that hair

- kat von d everlasting liquid lipstick is blowjob proof. get messy n be on point!

- urban decay all nighter setting spray is gonna save ur life. it’ll keep ur shit in place when u getting dicked, if u cryin, chokin on dick, w/e u like to do

- if ur having trouble getting wet even after sufficient foreplay, a little bit of water based lube does WONDERS. also won’t deteriorate condoms (oil) or get gritty (silicone)

- need to stretch out ur shoes?? fill two ziploc bags with water and put them in ur shoes. put shoes in the freezer until water freezes solid, and dethaw with a hairdryer. especially effective on leather!

- having problems deepthroating? make sure ur throat is in line with ur mouth, if it’s not the dick won’t go down

- can’t deepthroat at all? cover ur teeth with ur top lip and press ur tongue to the roof of ur mouth while he thrusts. 10/10!

- communication w ur partner during sex will make it a trillion million times more satisfying

- frizzy hair? put conditioner on the tips of your hair (nape of the neck and down) and shampoo right on ur scalp. volumizes without frizzing!

- this one kinda weird but don’t hold ur pee unless u wanna mean bladder infection/UTI

- pee after u masturbate please. u never know what can shimmy up ur urethra, even when ur playin w the little man in the sailboat

- keep a pair of spare glasses with u for when ur contacts dry out. lifesaver

- always keep extra undies, an extra shirt, makeup remover, moisturizer, and comfy shoes in ur car/bag if u can fit all of it

- apply dry shampoo the night before ur gonna need it. it’ll soak up the oil before it sits on ur hair. reapply in the morning n style accordingly

- apple cider vinegar mixed with water works as a good toner if u ain’t got no moneyyyy

- castor oil on ur brows and lashes every night will make them thicker and longer. even just one day will help (bc they will be shiny and moisturized)

ill probs add onto this when i think of more!

holt sibling reunion

pidge, tearfully: oh my gosh, matt!

matt: katie? is that you?!

(they hug)

matt, pulling back: oh man, you’ve changed so much! you’ve… really changed………. wait a minute.

pidge: (suddenly excruciatingly aware of her matt cosplay) uhhhhh. i can explain?

matt: katie………….. you look so GOOD, i love the new style!

Back to school tips🌹

Alright y'all, with school season comin back, here are some prime hoe tips to get y'all ready to slay.

🌹1. Develop a skincare regimen at least once daily: wash, exfoliate*, mask*, toner, essential oils, moisturize.
*once weekly, to avoid overshocking your skin.
🌙2.Tea tree oil is bomb for acne and acne scars. Apply that shit.

🌹 Coconut oil and castor oil for brow/lash growth every night.

🌙Go through your closet, and toss clothes you don’t wear. Invest in more neutral colors and fits to configure a wider variety of cute ass outfits.

🌹 Don’t be afraid to thrift shop; places like TJ Maxx and The Goodwill have bomb ass brands for cheap.

🌙 Get your books/supplies ready a week before. Prepare yourself.

🌹 Have all of your test dates/assignment due dates in your phone before classes start. Make sure to request off days of work the nights before major assignments and exams if you can help it.

🌙 Things to keep in a bag in your locker: pads/tampons, an extra pair of panties, a spare change of clothes & shoes(in case of a wardrobe malfunction), hairbrush and hairtie, nail file & clippers, makeup remover wipes, concealer, masacara, gum, water bottle, extra pens, some spare cash, phone charger, and earbuds.

🌹 Keep a water bottle in ya bag at all times. A hoes gotta be hydrated.

🌙 Keep up with ya studies

🌹 A week before school starts, develop getting sleep schedule for school by going to bed half an hour earlier every night. This’ll make waking up earlier less of a hell, trust me.

🌙Have a go-to makeup look for school that takes 30 mins or less as a default, if you beat your face in the morning.

🌹 Replace coffee with tea for a more healthy caffeine fix before class.

🌙 Prepare yourself a decent breakfast before you go to bed, so you can easily grab and go in the morning. Breakfast kickstarts your metabolism and decreases cravings throughout the day, and generally boosts your mood and brain power.

🌹If you wear a uniform, make sure that shit is comfortable and actually fits you. Make sure nothing hangs off of you, cuts off circulation, itches, irritates, etc.

🌙Need a break from studying? Work out. Burn some calories, clear your mind, and stimulate your brain with some exercise. Swear to god this keeps my grades up and my body lookin fly.

🌹Invest in a hair mask (any pharmacy or makeup outlet will have them), or make one yourself. They make your hair super soft and shiny for flipping it when you walk past that group of girls who hate you lol

Thats all I can think of for now beauties, get good grades, I believe in all of y'all✨🌹

💞Back To School Glow Up💞

Alright y'all, with school season comin back, here are some prime hoe tips to get y'all ready to slay.

1. Develop a skincare regimen at least once daily: wash, exfoliate*, mask*, toner, essential oils, moisturize.

*once weekly, to avoid overshocking your skin.

2. Tea tree oil is bomb for acne and acne scars. Apply that shit.

3. Coconut oil and castor oil for brow/lash growth every night.

4. Go through your closet, and toss clothes you don’t wear. Invest in more neutral colors and fits to configure a wider variety of cute ass outfits.

5. Don’t be afraid to thrift shop; places like TJ Maxx and The Goodwill have bomb ass brands for cheap.

6. Get your books/supplies ready a week before. Prepare yourself.

7. Have all of your test dates/assignment due dates in your phone before classes start. Make sure to request off days of work the nights before major assignments and exams if you can help it.

8. Things to keep in a bag in your locker: pads/tampons, an extra pair of panties, a spare change of clothes & shoes(in case of a wardrobe malfunction), hairbrush and hairtie, nail file & clippers, makeup remover wipes, concealer, masacara, gum, water bottle, extra pens, some spare cash, phone charger, and earbuds.

9. Keep a water bottle in ya bag at all times. A hoes gotta be hydrated.

10. Keep up with ya studies (see my School and Studying Tips post for more details on how to boost that GPA)

11. A week before school starts, develop getting sleep schedule for school by going to bed half an hour earlier every night. This’ll make waking up earlier less of a hell, trust me.

12. Have a go-to makeup look for school that takes 30 mins or less as a default, if you beat your face in the morning.

13. Replace coffee with tea for a more healthy caffeine fix before class.

14. Prepare yourself a decent breakfast before you go to bed, so you can easily grab and go in the morning. Breakfast kickstarts your metabolism and decreases cravings throughout the day, and generally boosts your mood and brain power.

15. If you wear a uniform, make sure that shit is comfortable and actually fits you. Make sure nothing hangs off of you, cuts off circulation, itches, irritates, etc.

16. Need a break from studying? Work out. Burn some calories, clear your mind, and stimulate your brain with some exercise. Swear to god this keeps my grades up and my body lookin fly.

17. Invest in a hair mask (any pharmacy or makeup outlet will have them), or make one yourself. They make your hair super soft and shiny for flipping it when you walk past that group of girls who hate you lol

Thats all I can think of for now hoes, get good grades, I believe in all of y'all✨
2

I actually stayed up last night thinking about the bros weapons in that solarpunk/steampunk verse and came to the conclusion that I desperately want to keep the hammers. so yeah. hammers.

the way marios hammer is designed he can light it on fire anytime. luigis is actually pretty tricky bc electricity isnt as straightforward as fire, but I imagine it can jumpstart any kind of machine that runs on electricity bc nintendo logic

their secondary weapons would be something they use along with their hammers. marios is a pick (chisel) and luigis is a pair of pliers. 

yes I am invested in this why do you ask

8

He woke tho

PSA about women walking alone at night

Hey, everyone! I was walking home late last night and I just felt like I needed to say some stuff. Yes, it is inspired by true events.

Dudes, let me give you some advice on how to interact with women walking alone late at night. This advice is intended to help you make them feel comfortable and safe from…yeah, you. And also for you to avoid getting your dick kicked into your chest cavity. My females, I’m putting out some tips that I learned from my daddy (who was a cop) that have helped make me feel safer while walking home. (Obviously subject to editing if people have some reliable source they’d like to share that contradicts what I’ve said. It’s about being safe, after all).

My dudes…

If you see a woman walking alone late at night, don’t walk behind her. If you’re going the same way as her, try crossing to the other side of the street, or making it really clear you are not paying any attention to her. If she looks back at you, politely say that you are keeping your distance and wish her a good night. If she stops to let you walk by her, it’s not an insult. It’s for her safety, because she has been trained not to trust men late at night. She is protecting her six, and if you’re a decent guy, you will let her. Don’t ask a woman you see walking late at night for a cigarette, a dollar, or to use her phone. Don’t say shit to her unless it’s to tell her to have a good night and be safe. If you see a woman being harassed, loudly offer to call the police, or just go ahead and do so. Don’t offer to walk her home, because that’s a familiar line and will put her instantly on the defensive. Instead, ask her if you can call her a taxi or contact a friend. If a woman gives you a dirty look when she’s walking home at 2 AM, please don’t call her a bitch. She’s protecting herself, and if you think she has that right, then just take it with an understanding nod, instead of acting like a fucking baby. If you’re a professional driver, don’t follow beside her slowly, like you’re casing her. If she needs a cab, she will make that obvious. If you’re a bouncer, and she is leaving your protection, give her advice on the safest ways to walk. If a woman asks for your help, and you consent to giving it to her, please be respectful of boundaries and make it clear you are not helping her for any reason other than to make sure she is safe.

Women…

Firstly, I know how fucking obnoxious it is to have to tailor your entire life to the sexual urges of predators. I know you just want to say “Screw this” sometimes and go out for a walk because why should you have to stay cooped up? I also know that sometimes, you can’t help it. Sometimes your ride ditches you and you don’t have cab fare. i am not going to lecture you, because you know what you’re doing.

So maybe instead I can give you some things you maybe haven’t thought of before.

1) Take off your high heels. If that grosses you out and you don’t want to carry spare shoes, carry a pair of socks in your purse (or your bra. Come on, they make great hoists) and wear them over your bare feet. I’ve seen those little rubber shoe things too, that look like flats…those are dope.

2) Avoid dark places. Even if it means you have to walk a little out of the way. You need to be able to see everything around your for at least a hundred feet, because a man can clear 100 feet at a dead run, very quickly.

3) Always look around, constantly. Predators want an easy mark, and if you’re paying attention, you cannot be an easy mark.

4) Pass by as many ATM’s as possible and look directly at them. They have continual activity on their cameras, so if you are snatched, the police can document your movements.

5) Only carry cards. If the place you’re going only takes cash, then have a specific amount and no more than that. The idea is to minimize incentives to rob you. If a man approaches you to rob you, and you have nothing to give him, he will likely leave at once, because he is usually nervous and doesn’t want to be identified, so be prepared to empty that bag out on the road and show him you have no valuables.

6) Should you have a weapon? Only if you know how to use them and are willing to do so, otherwise they end up being taken from you and used on you. Long range weapons like pepper spray are better.

7) Don’t talk on your cellphone in the standard way. I know you think that it’s a good idea, but the fact is, it distracts you and holding it can block your line of sight. A man can grab you and smash it and no one can track you. Instead, put it on speaker, tuck it in a pocket, and give constant location updates, if you feel threatened. Or prearrange a text appointment with someone who can call authorities if you don’t reply.

8) No music. Do not be that girl, walking in the dark, with her phone on a loud song to take her mind off the scariness of it. Music draws attention to you and distracts you. It can also mask noises of a confrontation.

9) If a man walks behind you, you have two options. You can put your back to a wall and allow him to pass by you, or you can cross the street. If he follows, find a public place immediately. If this isn’t possible, the fact is, he’s a threat. If it were me, I’d look him right in the eye and make sure he can see that I’m willing to kill. Don’t ignore a threat, and ladies, walking alone at 2 am means every man is a potential threat. Run, if you feel threatened. Who the fuck cares if he isn’t “actually a bad guy” or thinks it’s weird? Just ask yourself, “What if he is a bad guy?”

10) Be willing to drop everything in your hands. If there’s something you don’t want to leave in the street, shove it in your bra or your pocket.

11) There’s a lot of debate about how to deal with an attacker if it does happen. Some say to do what you’re told, and some say to fight like hell. I can’t make that decision for you, but you have to be aware, and try and understand the attacker. Ask questions. If you think they aren’t listening…it’s up to you. Personally, a guy better not try to put his dick in my mouth, because I will bite it the fuck off and see what happens, but thats me. Don’t go with him. If he has a weapon, then he is willing to kill you. So make the choice. If you go with him, you stand a much higher risk of never coming back, because in solitude, with no threat of discovery, he can do whatever he wants. If he wants you to leave where you are, it means that place is safer, so stay in that place.

12) Do learn self defense. If a man can hit you once, he can win. Learn how not to get hit. Learn how to get out of suppression holds. Learn what to do if grabbed from behind.

13) Minimize physical risk. Take off all jewelry, Ponytails are just convenient handles. (I had a friend get grabbed from behind by her ponytail and lifted off the ground, with a knife to her throat. She couldn’t get free because he had all her hair in one hand. Hair is VERY strong. So take your hair down, because if he can only get a handful, you can usually tear free, but if he has all of it, you can’t go anywhere.) Same with loose clothing or clothes with strings. Keys are weapons, rings are weapons. High heeled shoes can kill a man.

14) The cops will not be angry with you if you call them because you feel threatened, and it turns out nothing is wrong. They just won’t. In fact, I can think of at least ten famous cases where a woman called the cops because she was being followed and it turned out the guy was like some horrible rapist or murderer they finally caught.

15) You have the right to defend yourself. Better to be alive and dealing with assault charges than dead in a gutter.

One time I flipped a jogger upside down because he came up behind me really fast while I was walking home from work at midnight. He laid on his back looking up at me like “WTF DID I DO” and I just said to him, “Hey man, I am really sorry, but you scared the shit outta me.” And helped him up. 

And you know what? He was totally cool about it. Said he completely understood and asked me what martial art that was. I told him it was Aikido and then offered to pay his cleaning or medical later if he needed it. He shook his head and goes, “No, ma’am, we’re good.” and jogged on. 

I’m not telling you that so that you kick every man you see at night in the balls. Men have to walk home at night sometimes, same as us. I’m telling you that because women have been taught they have no right to be fierce. And they absolutely do. It’s better to defend yourself first and ask questions later, to run first and feel silly later, to strip down or button up first and let loose later.

Be safe. Women, be smart. And dudes…don’t take this personally. If you agree that women should be equals, then treat them with respect.

9

min yoonji moodboard 🍷

Richie, having his glasses knocked off his face and losing a lense: My lense, I can’t find it!

Eddie, handing him a spare pair of glasses: Here you go.

Stan: Why do you carry a pair of glasses for Richie?

Eddie: We made a pact in the third grade that I would always carry a pair of glasses for Richie incase of an emergency and he’d carry a spare inhaler for me. Hey, Richie?

Richie having a flashback to using Eddie’s spare inhaler as a vape: Yeah, totally, carry it all the time.

Singapore Sling

Pairing: Harry Styles X Reader

Rating: NC-17

Character count: 35,696 / Word Count: 6,521

Your duties as maid of honour were fairly simple: maximise alcohol and minimise stress, keep an eye on the bride-to-be, and above all else, have things under control. You’ve promised yourself to keep this wedding a fuckup-free zone, anticipating smooth sailing from the moment you land in Antigua. When danger emerges on the horizon in the form of a denim-clad devil dressed in Gucci and gold, things take a turn—nothing in the MOH handbook has prepared you for what to do in the event that you unwittingly sleep with the best man.

Keep reading

Richie is really big on showing affection towards Eddie. He loves kissing his temple and holding his hand and having Eddie sit in his lap so he can wrap his arms around him. He loves telling Eddie how cute he is or how much he likes his outfit or his cute little nose or his eyes. He’ll kiss the back of Eddie’s neck or rest his chin on Eddie’s shoulder or head. Eddie was a little nervous about it at first but now he eats it up. He loves all the attention.

Eddie shows his affection in more subtle ways. He’ll run his hands through Richie’s hair whe he’s perched on the boys lap, he’ll adjust his shirt or shirt collar, he’ll play with Richie’s fingers when they hold hands, he’ll carry things like a spare pair of glasses for Richie or a bag of skittles (Richie’s favorite candy) in case his boyfriend ever craves them or is sad and needs something to cheer him up. Mostly Eddie just likes to be close to Richie, most commonly in his lap or nestled into his side with Richie’s arm around him.

They show their love for each other in different ways but they both adore each other equally.

Touched.

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: A soulmate AU in which you are “branded” with a mark that signifies the first time your soulmate will touch you. In this, the reader fears meeting their soulmate, but is beyond pleasantly surprised.

Warnings: There might be swears, the reader is bullied, there are mentioned of abuse. Please don’t read this if that makes you uncomfortable ily

Word Count: 1575

A/N: Hey y’all! College takes up sO MUCH fucking time you guys. Doing sorority recruitment and getting ready for bid day and trying to learn how to be an electrical engineer is so fhjdskfhsadlf,,,,, But yo! I started this before going off to uni, and I love this AU so,,,, hope you love this

Everyone would always talk about the handshake soulmates.

They had it so easy. The scars across their hands were in gentle curves. The moment they met their soulmate, the scar would burn as they shook hands for the first time. They fell in love so easily and so perfectly with one another. In some cases, they would trade “I love you”s at that first moment instead of their names. Everyone would always cry at handshake soulmates’ weddings because the moment they met was always so perfect. When handshake soulmates are born, mothers almost always cry tears of joy at the wonderful future their children had ahead of them.

Your mother cried when you were born, too, but it was for a different reason entirely.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Shiro and short! Reader oneshot, please?

Yes oh my gosh-

I think I kind of strayed away from the short!reader thing but this turned out cute-

Originally posted by relatablepicsofvoltron

You hummed softly to the music playing from the speaker, organizing one of your many drawers. It wasn’t fast, and it helped you focus as you worked.

You were a healer, and helped with minor injuries the paladins had after fights. You had insisted that they didn’t use the healing chambers every time they got hurt, as it would use power and was unnecessary for anything that wasn’t very serious.

“(Y/N), you’re in here,” you heard someone sigh, before they wrapped you in a hug from behind and buried their face in your neck.

“Shiro? Why are you awake?” Your voice was hushed as you stood, carefully turning to face him. Even though there was at least half a foot of a height difference between you two, you went onto your tip-toes and placed a kiss on his cheek.

“Couldn’t sleep,” Shiro replied quietly, and you grabbed his hand before leading him back to his room. “Can you…”

“Yes,” you answered, knowing exactly what he was going to ask. You heard a quiet ‘thank you’, causing you to nod and smile. Ever since you joined, you had noticed that the black paladin had odd sleeping patterns. “You seem to be having these dreams more often, is something wrong?”

“As I regain memories from my time as a prisoner, more things surface that I really would rather not remember,” he explained, although something made you skeptical. He didn’t sound as nervous as he used to. Shaking it off as just him getting used to coming to you for help with sleeping, you silently slipped into his room.

“I’ll be right back,” you said, letting go of his hand and grabbing a spare pair of pajamas and slipping into the bathroom. When you came back in, he was already under the blankets waiting for you.

“Comfy?” He shrugged, and you set your clothes on a shelf before sliding into bed next to him. His arms almost immediately wrapped around you, pulling you close to him.

“Thanks,” he mumbled, making you smile.

“You thank me every time. You don’t have to,” you replied, your voice hushed as you reached up to run your hand lazily through his hair. “Just get some sleep, okay?”

“Promise to stay with me tonight?” he asked, causing you to nod.

“I promise. Now sleep, Shiro. You need to rest.” It took a little while, but he eventually did fall asleep. You stretched slightly in his arms, placing a kiss on the scar across his nose more snuggling into his chest. “Love you…”

The Jealous Boss;

Originally posted by dazzlingkai

Summary: Being Jennie Kim’s assistant had its pros and cons. the biggest con being that she’s the jealous type  

Disclaimer: All the things that are mentioned in this are words of fiction aka it’s not real. I’ve literally just made this up and as always credits to @dazzlingkai for the gif

Member: Jennie from Blackpink x female reader

Rating: Mature

Words: 3910

Keep reading

Falling For You

Summary: You are tired of denying your feelings, and after having to watch Dean with another woman who isn’t you, the pair of you finally come to blows.

Characters: Dean x Reader, Sammy

Warnings: angst, fluff, lil’ jealous reader & dean 

“Hey, where you off to?” Sam asked as you made your way through the bunker at just gone 7am. It was unusual for you to be up and dressed on a morning where you didn’t have a case to work.

“Just going to pick up some breakfast.” 

Sam raised his eyebrow. “You want a ride?”

“It’s alright,” you pulled the car keys for baby out of your pocket, a smug grin across your face, “I snagged these from Dean last night.”

The younger Winchester let out a soft laugh, shaking his head to himself.

“See you later, then,” he called as you made your way up the stairs to the door, giving him a wave as you left.


Dean finally emerged from his room almost an hour later, sleepy eyed, hair dishevelled with a look of confusion over his face. “Where’s my keys? I need to drop Lynne back home.”

Sam raised an eyebrow. “Pretty sure her name was Janice, Dean.”

Dean clicked his tongue, pointing a finger, “right, yeah, Janice.” He shuffled over to the table, taking a swig of Sam’s coffee before he could protest.

“So, my keys?”

“Uh, they’re in the car.”

“What? Why would I-” Dean cut his sentence short as the realisation dawned on him. 

Keep reading

Ranger Eclipse Headcanons
  • Billy: made glasses for the rest of them so that they could see it, got themed snacks from his mom, found the prime area on the cliff to view it three days before, is the only one fully ready for the event
  • Jason: broke his pair of glasses within 5 minutes, thankfully there were spares, didn't even know it was happening if he's being honest
  • Trini: Space Nerd™, has memorised 57 new facts about the eclipse and tries to be subtle about slipping it into the conversation, fails, Billy loves it when he finds that she knows more stuff than he does
  • Kim: forgot about it until that morning when Trini called her gushing about the eclipse, decided to buy donuts then got a cookie cutter to make them eclipse shaped, claims that it's the same thing as cooking
  • Zack: asked Billy for another pair of glasses so that he could show his mom the eclipse, was almost late to meeting the rest of them cause he wanted her to get a perfect view, kept making fire nation jokes the whole time