a nice piece of man meat

I jumped on board the mermaid au but i made it shance kek 

This au has lance being an alien mermaid(man??) who was taken from his home and put into an exotic creatures exhibit (so basically a zoo) >>

So for the time being Voltron is formed (allura pilots the blue lion for the time being, but blue is constantly telling her she wants “her pilot” whatever that means) and during a mission to free the aliens and creatures in the zoo Shiro comes across Lance’s display, and lance is all like “ Heeeeey look at this nice piece of meat i like this…whatever this is” and shiro’s like “Hot damn this dude is cute shit”

so shiro pushes the gay thoughts aside and comes in like “Im a paladin of voltron here to save you!! …..how do i get you out….” 

lets just say it ends up with shiro busting the glass open and getting completely soaked ^^’ 

Anyways Lance is just like “My hero~ Please get me out of here now “


Sooo yea By then all the aliens are free’d and shiro comes back to the castle-ship with lance still in his arms cause of course he’s gonna make the MERMAID FUCKING WALK and then introduces him to everyone and whoops blue screams at allura like “THATS MY PILOT GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE”

and thats as far as i got >< I still have alot of shit i wanna do for this au ^ 3^ feel free to send me idea kek i love drawing mermaid lance and like im just super gay for shance anyway lelelelel

Fun new words!

Choir: Trendy throat cult
Soccer: Toe ball run fun
Tennis: Netting the whites w/o fish
Orchestra: Rub dem string
Band: Too much brass to handle
Science: Do you even vape @erth
History: DED
Math: More like meth amirite
Football: fat man suit collide: voyage
Basketball: Swoooooosh
Theater: Lick a bum hole it for art
Lion: Orange loud fur
Marmite: Salt shit spread
Hippo: Fat water horse
Jokes: Giggle triggers
Halibut: Big ass swimmy swim
Justice: The Government Tries™
Baking: Lightly burned wheat substance
People: The cause of every problem
Legs: Supportive meat sticks
Bacon: Hot butt strips
Koi fish:Angry aesthetic swimmy swim
Oprah winefry: Loud bread enthusiast
Beyoncé knowles: Creative child namer
Chris Pratt: Funniest fried rodent ever™
Aubrey plaza: Pretends to be angsty
Jimmy Fallon: Small funny man
Ellen degeneres: Gay humorer
Jennifer Lopez: Not Jennifer Lawrence
Tyra banks: Tear a bat into pieces
Fork: 3 large ones all attached
Lamp: Hot and nice on a stick
Printer: Cumin out but I wanted it
Bread: Yeast on a journey
Corn: Smol yellow nuggets
Tree: Peekin out from dat erth
Florida: Gators in my ass
Billboard: Paper but not smol
Cup: Bebe bowl
Soup: Hot thick juice in a fat cup!!
Gucci: Gastroenteritis
Kate spade: Catty Spice
Louis vitton: Loose Vitamin
Ferrari: Ferris Oil
Anne kleini: Ankle Lime
Marc Jacobs: Microphone Jacket

“So I was walking down the street trying to go get some coffee and some disgusting sweaty man decided to cat call me and treat me like a piece of meat. You would think after living in New York for so long I’d learn to ignore it. But, no, I walked away giving him a nice black eye.”

It was really nice to meet you but I’m just not looking to repopulate the Earth.
—  white woman, in Boulder, at the Laughing Goat