a new circle begins

Cycle Of Eternity.

“Like a Circle in a Spiral
Like a Wheel within a Wheel
Never Ending or Beginning
On an Ever-Spinning Reel.”

Symbolically, the ever-repeating Cycle of Eternity is represented by the Ouroboros. The Ouroboros is a Serpent in the shape of a Circle that is devouring its own tail. As the Serpent continues to devour itself, the size of its Circle spirals into smaller and smaller Circles. Once the Serpent completely devours itself, that particular Cycle (Circle) is ended and a new Cycle is ready to begin.

In Alchemy, the Ouroboros is a Sigil. Swiss psychologist Carl Jung saw the Ouroboros as an Archetype and the basic Mandala of Alchemy. The alchemists, who in their own way knew more about the Nature of the Individuation process than we moderns do, expressed this paradox through the Symbol of the Ouroboros, the Snake that eats its own tail. The Ouroboros has been said to have a meaning of Infinity or Wholeness. In the age-old image of the Ouroboros lies the thought of devouring oneself and turning oneself into a circulatory process, for it was clear to the more astute alchemists that the Prima Materia of the Art was man himself.

The Ouroboros is a dramatic Symbol for the Integration and Assimilation of the Opposite, i.e. of the Shadow. This ‘feed-back’ process is at the same time a Symbol of Immortality, since it is said of the Ouroboros that he slays himself and brings himself to Life, fertilizes himself and gives Birth to himself. He symbolizes the One, who proceeds from the clash of opposites, and he therefore constitutes the secret of the Prima Materia which unquestionably stems from Man’s Unconscious. Ultimately, Cycle of Eternity s a Symbol of the Eternal Unity of all things, the Cycle of Birth and Death from which the alchemist sought Release and Liberation.

I haven’t watched the deleted norman chapel/memory palace scene in a while but I’m making gifs so I needed to and honestly I’m still not over how they took bloodfest – fucking bloodfest – easily the most painful and heart-wrenching piece of music Brian Reitzell has ever composed, and turned it from a theme of devastation and loss and death into one of rebirth and renewal and life

Because whether you choose to see that scene as a metaphor for them being two halves of one whole in their post-fall life together, or the two of them together in their shared afterlife, the end result is the same. They are together and at peace in that moment, with this piece of music that once signified such a brutal end swelling all around them in their new beginning. It’s so beautiful and evocative and full-circle and I am in pain.

I’m stretch marks and tan lines.
Cellulite and loose skin. 
My best days, along with my worst days. 
I am scars and new beginnings. 
Dark circles under my eyes, and the beginning of laugh lines. 
I am human. Imperfect. Flawed. And learning.
I invite you to be human with me


Ancient Greeks thought
of a circle
as the most perfect shape -
All around symmetry
with an unconquerable division
of circumference
over any
of its infinite halves.

Little they knew
of the modern man
in a thousand concentric circles
with nowhere to begin new paths
or an end to rest
his tired soles.
All around symmetry
of a hall of mirrors
facing him time and again
with the pain he wishes
to leave behind.

His history reduced
to a nested division
of his dignity
over any
of its infinite forms.

The human heart has its own ways. Bad habits, like missing people you are not supposed to miss, loving people you are not supposed to love. It provides all kinds of forbidden emotions. Emotions that shatter you. And your mind just sits there, numbly accepting them all. Sometimes your heart bleeds so much that your brain gets stained and is therefore dysfunctional. But there is not enough blood to drown some thoughts. Unwanted thoughts, nostalgic whims of your brain. No matter how hard you try, it is almost impossible to control your emotions. Or to stop loving someone. There will always be songs, places and all sorts of things that will awaken the things you are so vainly trying to burry. So accept your emotions, do not suppress them. Let them flow through your body. Let the pain consume you. Pain turns to numbness. And soon enough a new circle begins. Because that’s life. A circle of contradictions. Love, hate, nostalgia, avoidance, heartache,desire. It sometimes gets tiring and sometimes I want to stop feeling. But that is highly impossible. For as long as I have a beating heart it is gonna love and it is gonna bleed and it is gonna make room for feelings, even those I don’t wanna feel. And it will never ever stop caring for beautiful souls.
—  Late night thoughts