a monkey could do what i do

Yeah, right, Will can do whatever he wants – PART 2

Again. The leaning. If Hannibal’s…vertical stuff could talk.

The touching

The coming at your house because I don’t give a fuck about what you’re doing and… Do you have a life? Who cares?

The ass sitting

The door opening without the knocking

THE LADDER!

The sitting on a chair that’s not meant for other people than Hannibal.

The putting the arms on shiny polished tables.

The occasional seizures all around the place

The stealing

The restless walking around.

The hiding in high places like monkeys.

And the last but not least sleeping in the car while Hannibal is driving like he is some kind of taxi driver.

 

Yeah, right, Will can do what he wants – PART 1

For some context - SEASON 1


Will is a lucky lucky guy. He has privileges in season 2 as well…

saeunghwan  asked:

one piece !!!!!!!!! !!! ( you knew that was coming )

HERE WE GO I WAS READY FOR THIS 

OKAY SERIOUSLY THEY ARE JUST PERFECT TOGETHER I DON’T CARE, JUST LET THOSE TWO BE HAPPY AND WITH LOTS OF CUTE PIRATE BABIES I SWEAR- I WENT CRAZY FOR THEM I CANNOT HOLD IT ANYMORE!


Bonus (because I’m a sinner and I could actually ship Luffy with any living thing on this Earth):

Grodd took a sideways glance at the shorter gorilla beside him. It had been well over a year since they’ve started going steady and he had noticed how much more hedonistic Winston had become. Perhaps not outwardly, but in a rather subtle way. The way he just slowly allowed himself to gorge on whatever snacks he could find. The way he began to enjoy spontaneous sex with his mate. It sort of made him giggle inside. He was wondering if he was doing it to mess with him or if he was starting to like the idea of being his chunky monkey.

“Say, Grodd,” Winston started, reaching down into his back of chips… the third one since they’ve started watching TV together. “What do feel like having for dinner?”

“You just got back from lunch and you’re already thinking about dinner?” Grodd replied incredulously.

“I know, but I’ve been hungry like a bitch lately.” Grodd raised an eyebrow at that. “Hungry like a bitch?” That didn’t sound like the Winston he first met. He had to hold back a laugh, but he couldn’t hold back a smile.

“Well, what do you want, pumpkin?”

“I was think pizza or chicken. Oh, or maybe burgers! …fuck, let’s have all of that!”

Now Grodd had to start laughing. He was ready to order all of that and more, but he wasn’t quite done gauging his mate’s hedonism.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that you’re starting to like porking out…” Grodd toss out casually, wondering if Winston would take the bait. Sure enough…

“Well, see the shirt?” Winston responded, poking his belly which was covered with a shirt that read “DONUT JUDGE MY DIET” with a donut in between the words. “Besides, I know a certain someone who likes the extra weight…” As Winston said this, Grodd felt careful hands slowly trek towards his bottom. Grodd couldn’t hold back a smile AND a raging hard-on from this and quickly grabbed the nearest phone.

“Consider it done, babe!” Grodd called triumphantly. As he dialed, he caught Winston bouncing off to the kitchen once again. He bit his lips as he saw his plentiful ass cheeks. He had full intentions to plow him good after tonight’s feast. As finished his order, Winston back right on cue with a box of donuts, a pack of bananas, and a jar of peanut butter. Grodd couldn’t keep his eyes off of his chunkier mate. There was just something about the extra weight that made Winston so much more attractive. Perhaps he just wears it so well, he thought. In any case, he was glad he hooked up with him and he was happier for it.

Grodd’s thoughts were interrupted as Winston casually dropped a really bad pickup line as he quickly finished his first peanut butter banana and had a donut ready in his hands.

“So what do you say to a little after dinner matting session, babe?”

30 Day One Piece Challenge

Day 15: Most Inspirational Scene

Not dwelling on the past, on what you’ve lost, on what you could have done or what could have been is something that I’ve always known that I need to do, but it’s so damn hard. This scene helps me because of that. If Luffy can do it, can move past his brother’s death by focusing on what he still has, then I can do the same. 

Ask Me About My Daemon!

Anfang: What gender is your daemon? (Daemons can be the opposite gender, the same gender, or outside the binary altogether)

Belisaria: How talkative is your daemon?  What does their voice sound like?

Cerebaton: Do you think your daemon is smarter than you?

Golden Monkey: Are there any unscrupulous traits that you find your daemon possesses?  Would you say they are your dark side?

Hester: How would adventures with your daemon be like?

Kaisa: Does your daemon notice things before you do?  Are they more aware than you?

Karossa: What mood is your daemon usually in?  Do you even feel their emotions?

Kirjava: What form do you think your daemon will settle as?  What do you want them to settle as?  If you are settled, do you particularly like their form?    

Kulang: Do you know your daemon’s personality types?  Would you say their personality is the opposite of yours?

Kyrillion: How do you think your daemon would interact with the daemons of others?  What about with other humans?

Matapan: Does your daemon comfort you/cheer you up when you are down?

Musca: What do you think your parents’ daemons would have named your daemon?  Do you think it would have been a fitting name?

Pantalaimon: Does your daemon argue with you a lot?  About what?  Who’s right?

Ragi: Is your daemon more mature than you?

Ratter: What forms did your daemon take before you were settled?

Salcilia: Would you give up your daemon for anything?  What would life be like without them?

Sandling: What is your daemon’s outlook on life?  What are their opinions on various philosophical topics (the afterlife, the nature of morality, etc.)

Sayan Kötör: What would your daemon be like if they existed in corporeal form?  Do you wish corporeal daemons existed?

Sergi: Would you have liked to undergo separation (a la the witches) from your daemon?

Stelmaria: Has your daemon ever fallen in love?  What do they think of your past datemates/crushes?

Sophonax: How well would your daemon’s form have matched your physical appearance?

Zohariel: What is your daemon’s name, and what does it mean?

I think what I like most about working in a videogame company is this clear distinction between “artists” and “programmers”. Like we get along well but we’re never gonna be able to do - or even understand - what the other does. 

And it brings out all these inside jokes and social-coded language like :  “programmers’ graphics” means “something that looks like shit”, and a software “artist-friendly” means “something so easy that even a monkey could do it” and I think it’s beautiful.

  • what she says: i'm fine
  • what she means: okay so I know Madame Morrible said spells are irreversible but really she could've just been saying that so Elphaba couldn't help the monkeys and she and the wizard could keep them as spies and seriously Elphaba is like the most powerful witch ever there's no way that she wouldn't be able to find a counter spell to turn Fiyero back I mean really

anonymous asked:

I often work alone w/ my supervisor (no witnesses) & she'll bully me harshly by negating everything I do & implying I'm not doing a good enough job. She's cunning & manipulative in the way that she knows if I repeat it to anyone else she can say she's looking out for the best interest of our program. Last time I spoke to HR they took her side. She does it b/c she wants me to quit but I don't want to. A monkey could do my job. What can I do? Record convos? Sorry for this question.

In many places it is a crime to secretly record conversations. So be careful about that. Here is what you do, and I know you aren’t going to like this advice but you need to step back and ignore her. That’s right. The way things are now she holds all cards and push come to shove and it is your job on the line. So, avoid open confrontation. Ignore her unprofessional comments. Accept any legitimate advice (she is your supervisor after all) and kill her with kindness. 

This how you deal with a bad manager if you want to keep your job. If you don’t want to keep your job then quit on your own terms after you first find another position.

So have you got the guts?
Been wondering if your heart’s still open
and if so I wanna know what time it shuts.
Simmer down and pucker up.
I’m sorry to interrupt…
It’s just I’m constantly on the cusp of trying to kiss you.
I don’t know if you feel the same as I do
but we could be together if you wanted to.

Do I wanna know?
If this feeling flows both ways…
Sad to see you go.
Was sort of hoping that you’d stay.
Baby we both know
that the nights were mainly made for saying things
that you can’t say tomorrow day.

Crawling back to you…

—-
[Arctic Monkeys - Do I wanna know?]

5. Magneto (Erik)

Hello all! This is my regular Thursday post, thought we could do some Magneto but when Ive and I were prompting each other she said maybe you could do a jealousy sort of one with Charles so that’s what I’ve gone for. To the person who requested the Charles Xavier Healing one, i promise I’m getting to it, I’ve just been on a camp and couldn’t take my laptop but ill get to it, i swear! Anyway, Happy Reading!

~Tab

I looked in the mirror, my scales so freaking unattractive that it hurt. Of all the mutations, I got lizard girl.
Wasn’t that fabulous? Not. My only salvation was that I was doing good working with Magneto and Charles. We were doing great things to try to help other mutants. They were the brains and I was the monkey that did what I was told. But at least I was contributing. I could die knowing I did something good.

I shook my head and continued along the hall to see the boys. They might have a new mission for me. I wandered along the hall quietly moving in the lizardy way that felt so natural to me. I stopped at the door when I heard voices.

“Wait a minute. Are you jealous?”

“What? Erik, what would I be jealous of? Are you a fool? I hadn’t thought you were until now.” Charles babbled.

“You’re jealous. What’s wrong, Charles? Something must be to have you bumbling like a bufoon.”

I chose to walk in at that moment. I didn’t want to hear anything else.

“Hey boys, any job for a lizard?” I asked. Erik looked me up and down, checking out my lizard body which was at the moment covered in a black jumpsuit that had half sleeves and quarter-length long legs so I wouldn’t get too hot. Apparently I was hot if Erik was looking at me like that.

“No jobs,” Erik started, moving closer. “But a favour. Dinner with me as my guest.” I smiled, before looking at Charles. I couldn’t see his face, he’d turned away, but I turned back to Erik and smiled.

“Sure.” I smiled happily. I just wanted to feel beautiful. And at the moment, Erik could make me feel that.

Rules: using only songs from one artist, answer these ten questions and tag 10 people

Artist: Arctic Monkeys

What’s your gender? Flourescent Adolescent
Describe yourself? She’s Thunderstorms 
How do you feel? Do I Wanna Know?
If you could go anywhere? Secret Door
Favorite mode of transportation? Dancing Shoes
Your best friend? Arabella
Favorite time of the day? When the Sun Goes Down
If your life was a tv show? Mad Sounds
Relationship status? I Wanna Be Yours
Your fear? If You Were There, Beware

I was tagged by my favorite Portuguese person @dont—be—forgotten and I tag: @kleine0 @ansioliticos @dirty–blood @rose-sans-epines @sonoperennementeincasinata @farmacoeffervescente @leparetidellanima @leparfumdessapins @modestinferno @paseh

The signs at the zoo on spring break

Aries: “I thought we were going to have some real fun, like going to a concert but instead you brought me to the depths of hell”

Taurus: “GEMINI LOOK AT THOSE MONKEYS GETTING IT ON! I WISH I COULD GET SOME ACTION LIKE THAT!”

Gemini: “Taurus, we are in public please stop screaming about the monkeys fricking”

Cancer: “all I smell is poop and body odor, but I’m here to have a great time, let’s go guys”

Leo: “DID YOU HEAR THAT ICE CREAM TRUCK!? EVERYONE COME QUICK THIS IS THE BEST DAY!”

Virgo: “this fucking parrot just bit me”

Libra: “THE GIRAFFE LICKED ME AND NOW I HAVE HIVES WHAT DO I DO”

Sagittarius: “maybe you shouldn’t mock the parrot Virgo, and libra calm down you’re being dramatic,again”

Scorpio: “look guys the elephant is pooping on its baby!”

Capricorn: “Scorpio, that not even funn-*giggles* it’s not f-*laughing* okay it’s funny”

Aquarius: “uhm…people are starting to stare at us, I know how to take care of it *begins to flip people off*”

Pisces: FUCK THE LION JUST CHARGED ME FUCK ITS TRYING TO KILL ME

Everyone: “great here comes security, RUN”

Nagisayuu reminds me that Naruto 100% bought the DNA test and the discussion will be hilarious so...
  • Sarada: Now tell me, are you my mom?
  • Naruto: YEAH TELL HER!!
  • Sarada: Did mom give birth to me papa?
  • Naruto: YEAH ANSWER HER TEME ANSWER HER!!
  • Sarada: I've got a DNA test by Suigetsu-san and it turned out I'm the red hair woman's child.
  • Naruto: YEAH I WAS THERE TOO HOW COULD YOU SASUKE YOU SON OF A B... *eyeside Sarada and Chouchou* BALLOON!!! YOU CHEATED ON SAKURA-CHAN YOU SON OF A BALLOON!!!
  • Sasuke: *squint eyes*
  • Sakura: *squint eyes*
  • Orohimaru: *squint eyes*
  • Juugo: *squint eyes*
  • Shin: ........Suigetsu doing a DNA test? You mean that Suigetsu? The Suigetsu in Oromachi lair? Suigetsu the wet monkey?
  • Naruto: YES IT'S HIM HE DID AND THE RESULT WAS A MATCH WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY TEME?!!!
  • Sasuke: Sakura's my child's mother.
  • Naruto: ARE YOU SURE?
  • Sakura: I'm her mother.
  • Naruto: ARE YOU SURE?
  • Sakura: ............what do you think?
  • Sasuke: I only have s... *sideeye Sarada* salsa dancing with my wife. Sakura's my only woman. Sarada, we can assure you Sakura gave birth to you, listen to our story..
  • Sarada: I'm so glad... I love mom so much...
  • Naruto: Oh god I knew it my ship won't sink see Sarada you should have more faith in your parents.
  • Sakura: Honey can I beat Suigetsu-san up?
  • Sasuke: And Naruto.
  • Sakura: And Naruto.

I had a headcannon/ AU that the people at Watford are really uncultured when it comes to mortal music and someone mention the Arctic Monkeys and everyone’s like who???

and Simon really likes them and is like have you not heard ‘Do I wanna Know?’? and everyone’s is like wtf, so he starts singing it and everyone is listening to him.

and it turns out Baz really likes the Arctic Monkeys and starts singing along with Simon and they don’t really know what they are doing but they both just role with it

“I’m sorry to interrupt. It’s just I’m constantly on the cusp of trying to kiss you
I don’t know if you feel the same as I do
But we could be together if you wanted to

(Do I wanna know?)
If this feeling flows both ways?
(Sad to see you go)
Was sort of hoping that you’d stay
(Baby we both know)
That the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can’t say tomorrow day

Crawling back to you (crawling back to you)“

And the song finishes and there is shocked silence and the whole class is like :o

and it is sexual tension af and that’s the moment Simon realises he really LIKES Baz  

Watch on thejunglenook.tumblr.com

A rhesus macaque (Macaca mulatta) roughly handles another macaque who has been knocked unconscious. The injured macaque was electrocuted while walking on power lines above the tracks. We can see the male repeatedly bite, shake, and even dunk, his immobile cohort. It would be interesting to know if this troop of macaques has previously witnessed electrocution events - and thus have knowledge about reviving a victim. Also, did you notice the bystander monkey who does not engage or assist in the reviving efforts?  It makes me wonder about the relationship between the actor and injured rhesus. The role of prior knowledge vs genetic relatedness vs social relationship…
There is so much to learn about empathy in Ethology.

Why I think there was something else going on:

I may look ridiculous next week, or in three weeks when I think we’re going to get more real info on Robin. But I seriously doubt it. My first impression on watching the end of “Heart of Gold” was that there was no way Robin was doing what he did genuinely and freely. I only feel more certain of that as I think about it. He could have been, for example:

-under the influence of some spell or potion

-playing “Marian” because he suspects something

-in cahoots with Regina, Emma, or others


So, in true writer fashion, I’m writing you all an essay about why I think there’s more to this all than meets the eye.


One possibility to me is that Regina already knows what’s going on. She’s putting on a show for Rumple, but she and Robin spoke weeks ago via the rather obviously planted-for-Rumple phone number in her pocket, which…why would she be carrying it around on a sticky note when she has a smartphone? Robin and Roland already know what’s going on, perhaps even already left, and Regina is still tricking Gold in this scene. (I’m not sure how likely this is. But it’s a definite possibility.)


But now for a summary of the episode from my pov:


They set it up for us to expect a cliffhanger in which we wait for Regina to reach Robin by phone. Remember that the GA didn’t know about Zelena, so for them the obvious thing would be Robin is either somehow incapable of answering the phone, or he answers it.
Then, says “Marian”, (who at that point I think Robin still saw as definitely Marian). “Your honor is your greatest strength, but it’s also the reason you’re here and not with the woman you truly love.”
“Do you remember what you said to me our first day as outlaws?” asks Robin.
“Marian” is interrupted from answering with one of the saddest poker faces ever.
Rumple shows up and tells Robin Regina will never be happy if he doesn’t find the author. “Which might be good for you two.” Robin’s face turns into a snarl at the thought.
Robin broodily looking at Regina’s phone number. Thinking he should call her to tell her about Gold, but then he doesn’t want to upset both of them by pretending they can have something they can’t. Maybe he’ll call her tonight, if he still thinks it’s necessary.
“We can’t use magic here but we can use magical items.” Hmmm
“The woman you love” there we go again. Thanks, Rumple.
Rumple: “She [Zelena] would’ve been a fool to send him without precautions.”
Robin: “And Zelena IS no fool.”
Rumple: “No she WASN’T
“Let him die!” says Marian with, again, the worst poker face ever. Robin is a lil suspicious. “That’s not the Marian I know.” “Everything’s changed.” “Not me,” says Robin. He walks away looking upset but also…suspicious.
Zelena’s speech: “I was going to use my little Marian glamour to steal Robin’s heart. To make him fall in love with me. To steal Regina’s fated true love. How ultimate. I think that loss could finally be a wound that doesn’t heal. But sadly it didn’t take. I can’t win his heart. Something is standing in the way, like a stone wall. Could be fate. Could be true love or some other bias of the universe towards those who deserve happiness. But whatever it is, I am certain there is an author who can simply force a happy ending for me. And if there’s anyone that could find him, and bend him to their will, well, my money’s on the Dark One. Or should I say the Deathly Pale One. Anyway, whatever your plan is with the author, I want my happy ending built into it. You’d also have to stop trying killing me, of course. But dearie, what does Rumple get out of it? Well you are aware I have a certain potion that fixes hearts. I don’t know if it could cure this little lump of coal you’ve got in your narrow chest. But it will get you back home. Your life, for mine. That seems rather fair.”
Will on Robin “failing” to steal: “You did the best you could for the people who needed you. And if your wife is anything like you say she is, she’s gonna know what’s in your heart when you get home.” Hmmm.
Rumple: “A reminder that all I really wanted was happiness, and when I had it, couldn’t recognize it.”
Robin: *looks devastated* “I know what you mean” (I see this as him regretting the amount of time he spent apart from Regina in 4A, when all he wanted to be happy was to be with her.) “With Marian, I wished her to come back every day, and then, when she did…”
Rumple: “You were in love with another woman.”
Robin: “It’s more than just that. She’s…she’s like a stranger to me now.”
Rumple: “Why did you marry her in the first place?”
Robin: “Because I LOVED her.”
Rumple: “And you thought she was gonna be your happy ending?”
Robin: “Yes.”
Rumple: “And is she?”
Robin: “I don’t know.”
Rumple: “Maybe you should take a piece of advice from a man who has pushed away every chance at happiness because it was never enough. If it’s within your grasp. If you know where it is, and who it’s with, then you should run to it, grasp it, and never let it go.” (I genuinely think this was Rumple trying to give Robin a bit of a hint. Also, I don’t think we can rule out that Robin was trying to get Gold to tell him what’s going on with Marian in this scene. He’s spent the whole ep saying he doesn’t trust the Dark One. Not sure he’d be honestly pouring out his feelings to him for no reason.)
Robin has the necklace. Then we get the past-time real quote by Marian.
Angsty Robin in the shower joins “Marian” in the apartment. Keeping in mind that we saw Rumple in the 4B opener already moved in to Ursula’s and cured “6 weeks” after Heroes and Villains, this scene is what? Two, three days after they left Storybrooke?
They start the scene with us expecting it to be a normal level of angsty. Robin’s apologizing for the number because he feels guilty, but he’s been thinking about Regina. We remember the cliffhanger, and we’re waiting for another scene in which the phone rings and it’s her.
“You want to be with her?” Uh, yeah. You were there too, Marilena. 

(Side note: Robin told Regina he also did this for Roland, because the best example he can set is to follow his heart.)
“You need to make a choice.” HE DID.
Also, you can see the necklace at the edge of her shirt. 
“I’m here. Roland and I are fine. If you want to go back to Regina, then go back to her, but you have to decide what you want.” Yeah, sure, Robin’s just going to leave Roland there with you. Obviously.
So the writers have us poised at this moment where we’re waiting for that flash-forward scene with Regina and the phone, and we’ve had all this conflicted and suspicious Robin, and what happens?
Robin: *big smile* I want to be with you! *ominous sound effect plays* (Actually though. There’s this whoosh of air like the writers going Ha!) I love you. (Wait we were on past tense at the hospital earlier today.) You once gave up everything to be with me, to be a bandit in the woods, 
(Hmm this sounds a lot like his “Marian made me the man I am today. I need to remember that.” In The Snow Queen. How did that go, again? Oh right.)


and you said something to me once, that I should’ve taken to heart. (POP QUIZ MARILENA) You remember? *stares at her and waits*
“Marian”: “Of course. But I want to hear you say it.”
*ominous music plays*
Robin: “No matter where we are or what we face, I want to be with you.”
“Marian”: “And I meant every word.”
Robin: “And now so do I. You once gave up everything to be with me, and I lost sight of that. You were once my happy ending, and I was yours, and we can have that again. I thought you were dead. And now that we’re back together, it’s…it’s a miracle. And only a fool would turn his back on a miracle.”
(Methinks Robin doth protest too much here. He’s been terribly conflicted right up to this moment. If he didn’t say this to her in the moments after she reappeared, why the hell would he be saying it now?)
He then deletes Regina’s contact even though he’d been staring at it longingly all day, and frankly this would be a really dumb move because what if the Dark One comes back and they need magical help?
Roland totally sees Zelena in the mirror.
Also going to point out that Robin and Roland don’t appear in the last scene. We’re not sure they’re there for real.

In short:

This guy:

Has NOT decided to give up all hope of being Regina and instead convinced himself make gooey speeches to “Marian” about what a miracle it is that they’re together. 

Sean Maguire from his interviews this week: 

“He loves Regina as she is.”

“His happy ending is probably to have things as they were at the end of Season 3, which was Robin and Regina starting their life together.”

“He obviously misses Regina enormously…he’s still very much in love with Regina.”

“Robin said he made his decision, he’s in love with Regina.”

“It’s difficult because your heart can’t unlove somebody.”

“Robin Hood and Regina are meant to be. That’s the way it’s been written.”

“I think Robin has always been in love with Regina, pretty much from when he first met her. His mind is constantly on Regina and I think she’s all he thinks about really.”

“And then he met Regina, and that was it. Sort of an arrow straight through his heart, and I think he was completely smitten from the moment he met her–and I think he still is.”

8

Best of 2015 Meme: [1/5] New Shows → 12 Monkeys

↳ “Where are you right now? Somewhere warm? Safe? Next to someone you love? Now what if all that was gone, and the only thing you could do is survive? You would, right? You’d try. You’d do things, horrible things, until you lose that last thing you have left. Yourself. But what if you could take it back, all of it, a reset switch? You’d hit it, right? You’d have to.”

Ok, let me do this again, with more details, however, it’ll be one of the most harmful things I’ve ever commented...

Law….

DON’T DIE,LAW! I WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT YOU! WHY DO YOU HATE BREAD SO MUCH? HOW DID YOU ESCAPE FROM THE SWALLOW ISLAND? HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR CREW? WHAT ABOUT BEPO??? DID YOU HAVE ANOTHER TEACHER WHO COULD MASTER YOUR OPE OPE SKILLS? PLEASE, DON’T DIE YET!

HOW THE FUCK COULD I MISS SUCH A DETAIL???????

LUFFY! MOVE YOUR LAZY ASS AND KICK  KILL THIS DICK! NOW!

YOU’RE SUCH A FAGGOT, DOFFY! WHY, INSTEAD OF TOYING, DON’T FIGHT SERIOUSLY WITH LUFFY?! IF YOU KEEP YOUR DUMBASS PLAYING LIKE A LITTLE BRAT GAME, THEN LUFFY WILL DEFINETLY SHIT YOUR FACE!

THAT’S RIGHT, LUFFY!

OH, PLEASE….NOT AGAIN!

WHAT THE FUCK???? WHY IS IT SHRINKING???