a mongrel

The fairy of buttons

Our Rogue (who plays a small 16 year old human girl, and manipulative little mongrel) was in a small country inn and had sneaked up to try and pick pocket a drunk at one of the tables.

He proceeds to roll a nat 1 at slight of hand.

Me (the DM): You find a piece of moldy bread in his pocket and the man wakes up to stare blearily at you.

Rogue (IC) :Uhh….Hullo. I’m a fairy. 

(He rolls 18 on deception.)

Drunk (DM): Oh! Okay. I will keep your secret.

Rogue (OOC) :I push his head back onto the table, and tell him to go back to sleep.

DM: He’s now asleep.

Rogue (OOC): I try and pickpocket him again.

(Rolls a 14)

Dm: You find a few coppers and some buttons. The drunks shirt is a few buttons short and you assume they fell off. You done yet?

Rogue (OOC): ….Can i try and sew them back on his shirt?

(A few minutes while we discus this. The group decides he has to pass a slight of hand throw and a deception throw. The first to sew the buttons on and next not to get caught by anyone in the bar.)

He rolls a 17 on the deception, and then a nat 20 on the slight of hand.

After a few seconds of stunned silence I say,

Me (OOC): Congratulations. You have just successfully sewed the buttons you found in the drunk man’s pockets back on his shirt while he was asleep in the bar without anyone in the bar noticing.

Rogue (OOC): I wanted to make sure he believed I was a fairy when he woke up.

2

 So in the Palace District, the musicians for the Songs of Serkanos have two different songs that you can loot off them. And Born in the Month of Darkness is about the Outsider getting turned into the Outsider! It’s a really good piece of lore, even if you can’t hear it clearly in game yet.

Lyrics in text under the cut!

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I love how the fandom thought that Reaper was the edgelord when in reality Gabriel Reyes was the kind of sunshine we all need in our lives?? He makes Halloween costumes. Reaper quotes shitty basketball sportscasters when he makes a basket. He basically adopted Street Mongrel Jesse McCree. That’s some next level “dad taming a wild child” shit. If you walk into my DMs telling me this man did not make dad jokes at every opportunity I will respect your opinion but internally think you are dead wrong. 

Meanwhile Jack walks around like a grandpa full of angst yelling at kids to get off his lawn while staring wistfully into the sunset. 

We had it wrong all along… Jack Morrison isn’t the #1 Dad, it’s Gabriel Reyes

The Signs as Shakespearean Insults

Aries: You, minion, are too saucy - The Two Gentlemen of Verona 

Taurus: Thou art as fat as butter - Henry IV, Part One

Gemini: There’s no more faith in thee than in a stewed prune - Henry IV, Part One 

Cancer: Thou art as loathsome as a toad - Titus Andronicus 

Leo: Thou leathern-jerkin, crystal-button, knot-pated, agatering, puke-stocking, caddis-garter, smooth-tongue, Spanish pouch - Henry IV, Part One 

Virgo: Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch - King Lear

Libra: Away, you three inch fool - The Taming Of The Shrew 

Scorpio: Your virginity breeds mites, much like a cheese - All’s Well That Ends Well 

Sagittarius: Thou cream-faced loon - Macbeth 

Capricorn: I do desire we may be better strangers - Henry IV, Part One 

Aquarius: You scullion. You rampallian. You fustilarian. I’ll tickle your catastrophe - Henry IV, Part Two 

Pisces: Peace, ye fat guts - Henry IV, Part One 

youtube

For @mangy-mongrel and everyone else who was curious about Pilsbury dough cans and how they are opened. The “can” is cardboard with metal ends, and you peel the label off the can, anxiously waiting for the pop…

2

“I wonder what Garrick would be worth in the open market,” he said. “One overgrown mongrel. Carnivorous. Fights bulls and guards babies. Trained to sit on seedlings and scratch up flowers. Good crockery breaker. Suffers sometimes from bad breath. Results guaranteed.”

[Yang Xiao Long walks around her room ,gathering Zwei’s things as Weiss Schnee enters the room]

Weiss- What’s going on here ?

Yang- Oh,hey Weiss !Dad just sent me a text……we need to send Zwei back to Patch

Weiss- Is that so…..

Yang- Yeah [chuckles] I’m going to miss the little guy……

Weiss- Hey Yang….why don’t you let ME take care of this thing you’re doing……

Yang- [looks up] Really ?

Weiss- Of course ! You’re my teammate, I know how much you love that little mongrel

Yang- [drops toys in box] Wow thanks Weiss  ! That’s really nice of you

Weiss- I know ^^ [points to door] Why don’t you go and grab a drink and relax

Yang- You’re right [walks to door] I need to relax and [Yang steps into the hall]

[The door closes and locks behind her]

Yang-  [ turns around and knocks on door] Weiss  !

Weiss- …….

Yang-  [knocks on door] Weiss  ! [knocks] Open up this door !

Weiss- [from inside]  NO!

Ruby - Yang !  [walks up to Yang] What’s going on ?

Yang- Dad wants us to send Zwei back, and Weiss isn’t taking it well

Weiss - [from inside] He’s my precious baby, and you can’t take him !

Ruby - She’s grown really attached …..

Yang- I know right !

Ruby - [leans in towards Yang’s ear] Don’t worry Yang…I have a plan ;)

Yang - Sweet [claps hands together] No one can stand up to our sister tag team =D

[Ruby and Yang high five]

Weiss- [from inside] What are you two doing out there ???

Ruby- [knocks on door] Weiss ! I’m coming in to talk

Weiss- Ruby, I will launch you out that window if you try to touch Zwei. I’ve done it before, don’t think I haven’t

Blake- [from inside JNPRs room ] She has…. be careful

Ruby - [flashes a thumbs up, whispering ] Don’t worry guys, I’m a professional [turns back to Weiss] It’s only a talk !

[The door creaks open]

Weiss- Lock it when you get inside

{Ruby walks iniside and locks the door]

[Yang stands outside, smiling with pride as she waits for her little sister to calm their wayward teammate]

.

.

.

[9 hours later]

[Yang wakes up in the hallway, to the same situation as before]

Yang- [stands up] Ruby ? [knocks on door] Everything ok in there ?

Ruby - …….

[Yang jingles the doorknob]

Ruby - YOU’RE NOT GETTING ZWEI !

[A bullet flies through the door , next to Yang’s head]

Yang- YOU ALMOST SHOT ME !

Ruby - YOU HAVE AURA ! [fires and misses again]

Weiss- MY ARMY GROWS BY THE DAY ! [evil cackling]

Yang- You little BRATS [hair bursts into flame as she begins pounding on the door]

Blake- [stern] YANG !

[Yang turns to face Blake, breathing heavily]

Blake- Calm down. A war’s not won in a day

Yang- [calming down] You’re right……

Blake- Come in here [motions Yang to come inside JNPR’s room] We have planning to do

[Yang turns around and walks into JNPR’s dorm room]


Writing Requests are OPEN

  • Will: Jem, no. Not there.
  • Jem: what's the matter? Come along, we'll be late.
  • Will: James. Look at them. Those horrid mongrels.
  • Jem: Will, we battle demons for a living and you seem to have a permanent death wish. The zoo is hardly dangerous.
  • Will: jEm tHeRe arE dUcks in tHe poNd I wiLL noT gO