a million years later but okay

4

OKAY so here is the new Victuuri Au I wanted to post like 5 million years ago

This one is set in the future, where Androids are a part of our daily life.
When Victor visits his friend Chris in his Android Strip club, he notices a japanese one who always seems to fuck up his routine whenever Victor looks at him.

Chris tells him that this is not supposed to happen that often and that he will send him away if nobody is able to repair this “defect” 

Chris calls Victor weeks later and tells him that there’s something weird going on in his club since he called the factory to return the strip doll Eros.

Someone seems to sectretly break in the strip club every time they close in the morning and visit the dolls even though the camera couldn’t catch anyone.Victor tells him that he will keep an eye on his club for a while to help him out.

One day after he observed the entrance for a few hours he decides to go to a cafe shop, near his home but what he finds there surprises him.

There he sits, completely relaxed, drinking coffee and chatting with a thai-friend.

Eros.

history of the entire world, i guess; a transcript

hi. you’re on a rock, floating in space. pretty cool, huh? some of it’s water. fuck it, actually most of it’s water. i can’t even get from here to there without buying a boat. it’s sad. i’m sad. i miss you. how did this happen? a long time ago, actually never, and also now, nothing is nowhere. when? never. makes sense, right? like i said, it didn’t happen. nothing was never anywhere. that’s why its been everywhere. it’s been so everywhere, you don’t need a “where”. you don’t even need a “when”. that’s how “every” it gets. (pause). forget this. i wanna be something, go somewhere, do something. i want things to change. i want to invent time and space. and i know it’s possible because everything is here and it probably already happened. i just don’t know when to start. and that’s exactly where it started. (background noise) woah. i… paused it. i think there’s a universe now. what’s it made of? quarks and stuff. ah, that’s a thing, in a place. don’t like it? try a new place, at a different Time™. try to stick together because the world is gonna get bigger and emptier. but it’s not empty yet. it’s still very full, and about a kjghpillion degrees. (about no seconds later). great news! the quarks are now happily married in groups of three called a “proton” or a “neutron”. and there’s something else flying around too that wants to join in but can’t cause it’s still to (HOT). (about ten minutes later). great news! the protons and the neutrons are now happily married to each other (some of them even doubled up). (about 380,000 years later). great news, the electrons have now joined in. congratulations, the world is now a bunch of gas in space. but it’s getting closer together and it’s getting closer together and it’s getting closer together. it’s a staaaar. new shit just got made. some stars burn out and die. bigger stars burn out and die with passion! and make some brand new way crazier shit. space dust! which allows newer, more interesting stars to be made, and then die, and explode into even crazier space dust. so now stars have cool stuff around them, like rocks, ice, and funny clouds, which can make some very interesting things. like this ball of flaming rocks, for example. holy shit, we just got hit with another ball of flaming rocks, and it kinda made a mess. which is now the moon. weather update: it’s raining rocks from outer space. weather update: those rocks might’ve had water inside them and now there’s Hot Steam in the sky. weather update: cooler temperatures today, and the floor is no longer lava. weather update: its raining. severe flooding alert: the entire world is now an ocean. volcano alert: that’s land. there’slifeintheocean. what? something’s alive in the ocean. oh cool, like a plant or an animal? no. a microscopic speck! it lives at the bottom of the ocean and eats chemical soup which is being served hot and fresh made from gnarly space ingredients leftover from when it was raining rocks or whatever. oh yeah, and it can do that. it has secret instructions written inside itself telling it how to build another one of itself. so that’s pretty nifty, i would say. tired of living at the bottom of the ocean? now you can eat sunlight. using a revolutionary technique you can convert sunlight into food. taste the sun. side effect: now there’s oxygen everywhere and the sky’s blue. then the earth might’ve been a snowball for a while, maybe even a coupla times. it’s a sponge, it’s a plant, it’s a worm and some other types of weird strange water bugs and strange fish. it’s the Cambrian explosion. “wow, that’s animals and stuff.” but we’re still in the ocean. hey, can we go on land? NoO. why? the sun is a deadly lazer. oh okay. not anymore there’s a blanket. now the animals can go on land. come on, animals, let’s go on land! “nope, can’t walk yet. and there’s no food yet so i don’t care.” (100 million years later) ok, will you learn to walk if there’s plants up here? “maybe,” said some bugs, and fish. “uh. uh. uh.” (five million years later) “ok so i can go on land but i have to go back in the water to have babies.” (idea) learn to use an egg. “i was already doing that.” use a stronger egg, and put water in it, have a baby, on land, in an egg. water is in the egg, baby, in the water, in the egg. works for me. bye bye ocean. aaand now everything is huge. including bugs. wanna see a map of the land? sure. ah fuck, now everything’s dead. just kidding here are the survivors. keep your eye on this one because its about to become the dinosaurs. here’s another map of the land. yeah, it broke apart, don’t worry about it, it does that all the time. here comes a meteor. and the dinosaurs are gone. its mammal time! here come the mammals. look at those breasts. now they’re gonna dominate the world, and one of them just learned how to grab stuff. and walk. no, like, walk like ‘that’. and grab stuff at the same time. and bang rocks together to make… pointed rocks. “ouch.” and set things on fire. “yeouch.” and make crazy sounds with their voice (“gneurshk.”) which can mean different things. that’s a human person. and now they’re everywhere, almost. ice age. what? you can walk over here? cool. not anymore. i guess we’re stuck here now.

let’s review. there’s people on the planet. and they’re chasing their food. fuck it, time to plant some grass. look at this, i control the food now. now everyone will want to be my friend and live near me. let’s all build houses except mine is bigger because i own the food. this is great, i wonder if anyone else is doing this. tired of using rocks for everything? use metal. it’s underground. better farming was just invented in a sweet dank valley right in between these two rivers, and the animals are helping. guess what happens next. more food, and more people who came to buy the food. now you need people to help make the food and keep track of the sales. and now you need houses for people to live in, and people to make the houses. and now there’s more people and they invent things, which makes things better and more people come. and there’s more farming and more people to make more things for more people. and now there’s business, money, writing, laws, power. sociiiety. coming soon to a dank river valley near you. meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, the horse is probably being tamed. why is all my metal so lame and lumpy? tired of using lame, sad metal? introducing bronze, made with special ingredient tin from the far lands of tin land. i don’t know, my dealer won’t tell me where he gets it. also, guess what - egypt. meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, they figured out how to put wheels on a horse. now we’re getting somewhere. also, china. and did i mention indusrivervalleycivilization. norte chico. the middle east is getting more complicated, maybe because it’s in the middle of the east. knock knock- er, clop clop, it’s the people with the horses? and they made an empire! and then everyone else copied their horses. greeks! ah look, it must be the greeks, or a beta version of the greeks. let’s check in with the indus river valley civilization. they’re gone. guess who’s not gone? china. new arrivals in india. maybe it’s thosehorsepeopleiwastalkingabout or theircousinsorsomething. and they wrote some hymns and mantras and stuff. you could make a religion out of this. there’s the bronze age collapse. now the phoenicians can get down to business. also, can we switch to a metal that’s a little easier to find? thanks. look who came back to israel, it’s the twelve tribes of israel. and they believe in god. just one though, he’s got like a ten step program. here’s some huge heads, must be the olmec. the phoenicians make some colonies. the greeks copy their idea and make some colonies. the phoenicians made a colony so big it makes colonies. here comes the assyrian empire. nevermind it’s the babylonian- median- it’s the persian empire. “wow, that’s big.” ah, the buddha was just enlightened! who’s the buddha? this guy, who sat under a tree for so long that he figured out how to ignore the fact that we’re all dying. you could make a religion out of this. oops, china just broke, but while it was breaking confucius was figuring out how to have good morals. ah, the greeks just had the idea of thinking about stuff. and right over here, alexander just had the idea of conquering the entire persian empire. it’s a great idea, he was…great. and now he’s dead. hopefully, the rest of the gang will be able to share the empire evenly between them. knock knock, it’s chandragupta, he says, “get the hell out of here, will you get the hell out of here if i give you 500 elephants? ok thanks bye; time to conquer all of india- or most of india”. but what about this part? that’s the tamil kings, no one conquers the tamil kings. who are the tamil kings? merchants, probably. and they’ve got spices. who would like to buy the spices? “me,” said the arabians, swiftly buying them and selling them to the rest of the world. hey, china put itself back together again with good morals as their main philosophy. actually they have three main philosophies. out here, the horse nomads run wild and free, and they would like to ransack your city. let’s check the greekification levels of the greekified kingdoms: greekification overload! “bye,” said the parthians, “bye,” said the jews. “hi,” said the parthians, taking over the entire place. “heyyyyyyyy,” said the romans, eating the entire mediterranean for breakfast. “thanks for invading our homeland,” said the jews, who were starting to get tired of people invading their homeland. “hi, everything’s great,” said some guy who seems to be getting very popular, and then gets arrested and killed for being too popular, which only makes him more popular. you could make a religion out of this. want silk? now you can buy it from china! they just made a brand new road to the world…or you can get there on water. “sick, new trade routes,” said india, accidentally spreading their religion to the entire southeast. hmm, that’s a good place for an epic trading kingdom. there goes buddhism, travelling up the silk road. i wonder if it’ll reach china before it collapses again. “remember the persian empire? yup,” said the persians, making a new one. axum is getting so powerful they would like to build a long stick. has anyone populated madagascar yet? let’s do it together. china is whole again…then it broke again. still can’t cross the sahara desert? try camels. “hell yeah, now we’ve got business,” said the ghana empire, selling lots of gold, and slaves. “hi i live in the roman empire and i was wondering, is loving jesus legal yet?” “no” “actually ok sure,” said constantine, moving the capitol way over here to be closer to his main rival. don’t worry about rome, it won’t fall. it’s the golden age of india. there’s the gupta empire. not chandragupta, just gupta, first name chandra, the first. guess who’s in rome? barbarians. what’s a barbarian? “non-romans,” said the romans, being invaded by non-romans. r.i.p. roman empire. or actually, just half is just fine. but it’s not in rome anymore so let’s give it a new name. the mayans have figured out the staaars. oh, and here’s a huge city, population everyone. the göktürks have taken over the entire eurasian steppe. great job, göktürks. how’s india? broken. how’s china? back together. how’s those trading kingdoms? bigger, and there’s more of them. korea has three kingdoms. japan has a kingdom, it’s the sunrise kingdom.

deep in the arabian desert, on the top of a mountain, the real god whispers in muhammad’s ear, so he goes down to the cube where everyone worships gods, and he tells them their gods are all fake. and everyone got so mad at him that he had to leave town and go to a different town. you could make a religion out of this. and maybe conquer the world as well. the roman empire is long gone, but somehow the pope is still the pope. plus there’s new kingdoms all over europe. i wonder if there’s room for moors. here’s all the wisdom, in a house. it’s the baghdad house of wisdom, just in time for the islamic golden age. “let’s bring stuff to the coast and sell it, and become the swahili on the swahili coast,” said the swahili on the swahili coast. remember this tiny space you have to go through to get from here to there? someone owns that now. wanna get enlightened in the middle of nowhere? the franks have the biggest kingdom in europe, and the pope is so proud that he invites the king over for christmas. “surprise, you’re the new roman emperor,” said the pope, pretending to still be part of the roman empire. then the franks broke their kingdom into what will later be called france and not france. the northerners, or just norse if you don’t have that much time, are exploring. they go north, from the north to the northern north, and they find some land. two types of land, and they name them accordingly. they also invade some other places and get called many names, such as vikings. there’s the rus, the kievan rus. are they vikings? “i don’t think so,” said the kievan rus. ok, fair enough. the pope is ready to make some more emperors of the roman empire, the holy roman empire. it’s actually germany but don’t worry about it. new kingdoms! christianizeallthekingdoms. which brand would you like? “mine’s better,” “mine’s better,” “mine’s better”. “time to conquer england,” said william. it’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s the seljuk turks. “ahh!” said the byzantine empire, who’s getting so small it almost doesn’t exist anymore, “we need help!” they need help, so they call the pope. “hey pope, can you help us get rid of the seljuks? maybe take back the holy land on the way? come on, i know you wanna take back the holy land.” “yes, i do actually want to do that. let’s do a crusade.” crusade. they did many crusades, some of which almost didn’t fail, but at least the italians got some sweet trade deals. goodbye mayans. hello toltecs, goodbye toltecs, hello mississippi. look at those mounds. there’s the pueblo. i always wondered how to build a town in a cliff. guess who’s here? khmer. where? here, and pagan is there, and vietnam unconquered itself, korea just became itself, and japan is so addicted to art that the military might have to take over the government. china just invented bombs, and typing. and the mongols just invaded most of the universe. nice going, genghis. i bet that will last a long time! some of the islamic turks were unaffected by the mongol invasions because they were busy invading india. is it tonga time? i think it’s tonga time. i just found out where the swahili gets all their gold. look at this chad (means lake), there’s an empire there, right in the middle of africa. the king of mali is so rich he’s going on tour to let everyone know. “wow, that guy’s rich,” everyone said. the christians are doing a great job of conquering iberia which will soon be called spain and not spain. please remain christian. we will check in later to see if you are still christian when you least expect. whoops, half of europe just died. ming. china’s back, yay. hey khmer, time to share, new kingdoms here and there. oh look who controls all the islands, its the mahajapit. majahapit, mapajahit, mahapajit, mapajahit, majapahit? oh, italy’s really rich, time for them to care a lot about art and the ancient classics. it’s kinda like a rebirth. here’s a printer, lets make books. so you think you can conquer the byzantine empire? “yep,” said the ottoman turks. nice job, ottoman turks. whoops, you missed a spot; don’t forget to ban europe from the indian spice trade. “what? that’s bullshit,” said portugal, spiceless. well i guess we’ll have to find another way to india. “wait,” said christopher colombus, probably smoking crack, “if the world is round, lets go this way to india!” “nah, don’t worry we already got this,” said portugal. so chris goes to spain. “hey spain, wanna hire me to go find india by going around back of the world?”  “no.”  “please?”  “no.”  “please?”  “no.” “please?” “ok.” so he sails into the ocean, and discovers more ocean, and then discovers ‘the indies’ and ‘japan’. let’s draw a line to decide who gets which half of the world. the aztec and inca empires are off to a great start. i wonder if they know that europe just discovered their continent. the habsburgs are marrying into so many royal families they might have to start marrying each other. move over lithuania, here comes moscow. ivan wants to make russia great again. move over timurids, maybe go invade india or something. persia just made persia persian again. let’s make it the other kind of islam, the one where we thought the first guy should’ve been the other guy. hey christians, do you sin? now you can buy your way out of hell. “that’s bullshit, this whole thing is bullshit, that’s a scam, fuck the church, here’s 95 reasons why,” said martin luther, in his book which might have accidentally started the protestant reformation. “you know what would be magnificent?” said suleiman, wearing an onion hat, “what if the ottoman empire was really big, which it is now.”  “what if russia was big,” said ivan, trying not to be terrible. portugal had a dream that they controlled the entire indian ocean, including the spice trade, and then that dream was real. and spain realised that this is not india, but they pillaged it anyway. “damn,” said england and france, “we gotta start pillaging some stuff.” then the dutch revolt and all the hipsters move to amsterdam. “damn,” said amsterdam, “we gotta start pillaging some stuff.” question one: can you get to india through north america? no, but at least there’s beaver. question two: steal the spice trade. that’s not a question but the dutch did it anyway. sugar. guess where all the sugar’s made? in brazil. stolen! in the carribean, and it’s so goddamn profitable you might forget to not do slavery. the next thing on russia’s to-do list is to get bigger. britain and france are having a friendly discussion about who should control the entire world, more specifically, ohio. then it escalates into a seven year discussion, giving prussia a chance to show austria who’s boss. but what about britain and france, did they figure out who’s boss? yes they did, it’s britain. guess who’s broke? also britain. so they start taxing the hell out of america.

“fuck you,” says america, declaring their independence, and fighting for it. france helps them win, now france is broke. and britain will have to send their prisoners to a different continent. wait if france is broke, why do the king and queen still wear such fancy dresses? “let’s overthrow the palace and cut all their heads off!” said robespierre, cutting everybody’s head off until someone eventually got mad and cut his head off. you could make a reli- no don’t. haiti is starting to like the idea of a revolution, especially the slaves, who free themselves by killing their masters. “why didn’t we think of this before?” wait, who’s in charge of france now? “me,” said napoleon, trying to take over europe. luckily, they banished him to an island. but he came back. luckily, they banished him to another island. there goes latin america, becoming independent in the latin america wars of independence. britain just figured out how to turn steam into power, so now they can make many different types of machines and factories with machines in them so they can make a lot of products real fast. then they invent some trains, and conquer india and maybe put some trains there. “hey china,” said britain, “buy stuff from us.” “nah, dude we already got everything,” says china. so britain tried to get them addicted to opium, which worked actually, but then china made it illegal and dumped it all into the sea. so britain threw a hissy-fit and made them open up five cities and give them an island. britain and russia are playing a game where they try to stop each other from conquering afganistan. also the sultan of oman lives in zanzibar now, that’s just where he lives. india had a revolution, and they would like to govern themselves now. “nope,” said britain, governing them even harder than before. technology is about to go crazy. the united states finally figured out whether slavery is good or bad. “it’s bad,” they decided. and then they continued manifesting their destiny, which is to kill the rest of the natives and take their land, and maybe kick out the mexicans too. “i know, let’s rape africa,” said europe, scrambling to see who could rape it the fastest. they never got ethiopia.  britain and france are still hungry. they never got thailand. the united states ran out of destiny to manifest, so they’re looking for more. hawaii. cuba. wait spain controls cuba. “well, blame something on them and go to war! what should we blame on them? let’s blame the maine on spain!” so they blame the maine on spain. now we’re in business. to celebrate, they kick panama out of panama and make a canal, connecting the two oceans. britain just found oil in the middle east. it makes cars go. china is so tired of being bossed around that they delete their old government and make a new stronger government, which is accidentally weaker and controlled by a guy from the previous government. europe hasn’t had a war since the last war, so they start world war one. look at those guns. it’s gonna be a great war, so great we won’t need a second one. after it’s over, they blame germany. russia went on strike and the workers overthrew the government. now everyone’s paycheck is the same. communism, in the soviet union. the arabs revolt, and britain helps. now the ottoman empire is gone, so we can give the jewish people a place to live. hopefully the arabs won’t mind. “let’s cut the cake,” said sykes and picot, carving up the remains of the not-so-ottoman-anymore empire. except turkey, turkey makes a brand new turkey. and then the saudis conquer arabia. it just seemed like the right thing to do. hello? yes, it’s the 1920s calling. let’s get in a car and drive to a party and listen to the jazz on the radio and go to the movies. the economy’s great and it’ll probably be great forever. just kidding. germany’s back, featuring hitler, the angry mustache model. he’s mad at the jews for existing. japan is finally conquering the east, and they’re so excited they rape nanking way too hard. they should probably just deny it. hitler’s out of control, so the international community tackles him and tries to explain to him why killing all the jews is a bad idea, but he kills himself before they could explain it to him. that’s world war two. bonus round: pacific showdown, united states versus japan. fight! finish him. let’s unite all the nations and have some world peace. seems legit. “hi i’m gandhi and if britain doesn’t get the hell out of india i’m going to starve myself in public. wow, that worked?” bonus: now there’s pakistan. actually two pakistans. one of them can be bangladesh later. the jews and the arabs finally figured out which one of them should live in the holy land. “me”, they both said at the same time. “let’s divide up the land so everyone’s happy.” sike! they both get angrier. look out china, there’s a new china in china. what’s on the menu? communism! “no thanks,” said the other china, escaping to an island. i wonder which one is the real china. there’s the korean war, korea versus korea, nobody wins, then it’s on pause forever. let’s meet the sponsors. oh, it’s the two global superpowers. they’re having a friendly debate over which economic system is good and which is an evil virus of satan. and they both have atom bombs. fight! wait no that would be the end of the world. let’s just keep it cool and spy on each other instead. and make sure we have enough atom bombs. “i’ll race you to space. now let’s make some more countries fight themselves.” europe is tired of pillaging other continents, so the continents they were pillaging are tired of being pillaged. so here’s a new map, with new countries. now you can’t tell who they’re being pillaged by. the united states finally decided whether racism is good or bad. they decided it’s bad, and the world agrees. south africa might need another minute to think about it. let’s check the world population. woah. okay. technology’s better too, that might keep happening. the soviet union decides to relax a little and accidentally falls apart. europe makes a union, so now they can all use the same money; except britain because they don’t feel like it. let’s check the mail. surprise! it’s on the computer! whoops, someone just attacked america, i bet they’ll remember that. phone call, surprise, it’s in your pocket! wanna learn everything? surprise, it’s on the computer! now your phone’s a computer, which is in your pocket. whoops, the economy just crashed. don’t worry, the big banks won’t fail, because they’re not supposed to. surprise, flying robots! with bombs. wanna print a brain? some people have no friends. some people have no food. the globe is warming, and the ocean is full of plastic. “let’s save the planet,” said everybody, not knowing how. “let’s invent a thing inventor,” said the thing inventor inventor, after being invented by a thing inventor. that’s pretty cool. by the way, where the hell are we?

psychic: reads my mind
me: hi, you’re on a rock floating in space. pretty cool, huh? some of it’s water. fuck it. actually, most of it’s water. i can’t even get from here to there without buying a boat. it’s sad. i’m sad. i miss you.
HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?
a long time ago… actually, never. and also now. nothing is nowhere. when? never. makes sense, right? like i said, it didn’t happen. nothing was never anywhere. that’s why it’s been everywhere. it’s been so “everywhere,” you don’t need a “where.” you don’t even need a “when.” that’s how “every” it gets.
forget this. i wanna be something. go somewhere. do something. i want things to change. i want to invent time and space. and i know it’s possible because everything is here, and it probably already happened. i just don’t know when to start.
and that’s exactly where it started.
big bang— pause
woah. i paused it. i think there’s a universe now. what’s it made of? quarks and stuff. ah, that’s a thing! in a place! don’t like it? try a new place, at a different Time™. try to stick together, because the world is gonna get bigger and emptier. but it’s not empty yet! it’s still very full, and about a kjghpillion degrees.
about no seconds later
great news! the quarks are now happily married in groups of three, called a “proton” and a “neutron.” and there’s something else flying around that wants to join in, but can’t cause it’s too HOT.
ten minutes later
great news! the protons and neutrons are now happily married to each other! some of them even doubled up.
about 380,000 years later
great news! the electrons have now joined in. congratulations! the world is now… a bunch of gas in space. but it’s getting closer together…
ten million years later
and it’s getting closer together…
500 million years later
and it’s getting closer togeth—
star is born
it’s a star
new shit just got made!
some stars burn out and die. bigger stars burn out and die with passion! and make some brand new way crazier shit.
space dust!
which allows for newer and more interesting stars to be made, and then die and explode into even crazier space dust!
so now, stars have cool stuff around them, like rocks, ice, and funny clouds, which can make some very interesting things. like this ball of flaming rocks, for example.
meteor hits earth
holy shit, we just got hit by another ball of flaming rocks. and it kind of… made a mess. which is now the moon
weather update: it’s raining rocks from outer space.
weather update: those rocks might’ve had water inside of them and now there’s hot steam in the sky.
weather update: cooler temperatures today and the floor is no longer lava.
weather update… it’s raining.
severe flooding alert, the entire world is now an ocean.
volcano alert.
that’s land!
there'slifeintheocean
what?
something’s alive in the ocean
oh, cool. like a plant, or an animal? no! a microscopic speck. it lives in the bottom of the ocean and eats chemical soup, which is being served hot and fresh, made from gnarly space ingredients left over from when it was raining rocks or whatever.
microscopic speck asexually reproduces
oh yeah, and it can do that.
reproduces three more times
it has secret instructions written inside itself telling it how to build another one of itself. so that’s pretty nifty, i would say.
tired of living at the bottom of the ocean?
now you can eat sunlight!
using a revolutionary technique, you can convert sunlight into food.
taste the sun!
side effect, now there’s oxygen everywhere and the sky is blue.
then the earth might’ve been a snowball for a while. maybe even a couple of times.
it’s a sponge… it’s a plant… it’s a worm, and some other types of weird strange water bugs and strange fish.
it’s the Cambrian explosion: “wow, that’s animals and stuff”
but we’re still in the ocean. hey, can we go on land?
NO
why?
the sun is a deadly laser
oh okay.
not anymore, there’s a blanket
now the animals can go on land. come on, animals, let’s go on land!
“nope, can’t walk yet.”
“and there’s no food yet, so i don’t care.”
100 million years later
okay, will you learn to walk if there’s plants up here?
“maybe,” said some bugs. and fish.
fish gasps for air
five million years later
okay, so i can go on land, but i have to go back in the water to have babies!
idea: learn to use an egg.
“i was already doing that”
use a stronger egg. put water in it. have a baby, on land, in an egg. water is in the egg. baby, in the egg, in the water, in the egg.
works for me. bye bye ocean
50 million years later
and now everything’s huge. including bugs.
wanna see a map of the land? sure.
Permian extinction
oh, fuck, now everything’s dead.
just kidding, here are the survivors. keep your eye on this one, because it’s about to become
75 million years later
the dinosaurs.
here’s another map of the land. yeah, it broke apart. don’t worry about it, it does that all the time. here comes a meteor.
meteor strikes
and the dinosaurs are gone
it’s mammal time, here come the mammals. look at those breasts.
now they’re gonna dominate the world, but one of them just learned how to grab stuff. and walk. no, like, walk like that. and grab stuff at the same time. and bang rocks together to make pointed rocks.
“ouch”
and set things on fire.
“yeouch”
and make crazy sounds with their voice:
“gneurshk”
which can mean different things.
that’s a human person!
and now they’re everywhere. almost.
ice age!
what? you can walk over here? cool.
not anymore
well i guess we’re stuck here now.
let’s review: there’s people on the planet. and they’re chasing their food.
fuck it. time to plant some grass.
look at this. i get to control the food now. now everyone will want to be my friend and live near me. let’s all build houses, except mine is bigger because i own the food.
this is great! i wonder if anyone else is doing this.
tired of using rocks for everything? use metal. it’s underground.
better farming was just invented in a sweet dank valley right in between these two rivers, and the animals are helping.
guess what happens next?
more food. and more people, who came to buy the food. now you need people to help make the food and keep track of the sales. and now you need houses for people to live in and people to make the houses and now there’s more people and they invent things which makes things better and more people come and there’s more farming and more people to make more things for more people and now there’s business, money, writing, laws, power,
Society
coming soon to a dank river valley near you.
meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, the horse is probably being tamed.
why is all my metal so lame and lumpy?
tired of using lame, sad metal? introducing: bronze. made from special ingredient tin from the far lands of Tin Land. i dunno, my dealer won’t tell me where he gets it. also, guess what?
egypt
meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, they figured out how to put wheels on a horse. now we’re getting somewhere. also,
china
and did i mention
indus river valley civilization
society count: 5

norte chico
the middle east is getting more complicated. maybe because it’s in the middle of the east.
knock knock, er, clop clop. it’s the… people with the horses? and they made an empire. and then everyone else copied their horses.
greeks!
ah look, it must be the greeks! er, a beta version of the greeks.
let’s check in with the indus river valley civilization: they’re gone. guess who’s not gone? china.
new arrivals from india… maybe it’s those horse people i was talking about… or their cousins or something…
and they wrote some hymns and mantras and stuff…
you could make a religion out of this.
there’s the bronze age collapse.
now the phoenicians can get down to business
also, can we switch to a metal that’s a little easier to find? thanks.
look who came back to israel, it’s the twelve tribes of israel.
and they believe in God
just one though, and he’s got like a ten-step program.
here’s some huge heads. must be the olmecs.
the phoenicians make some colonies. the greeks copy their idea and make some colonies. the phoenicians made a colony so big it makes colonies.
here comes the assyrian empire. never mind, it’s the babyloni— media—
it’s the Persian Empire: “wow, that’s big”
enlightenment
ah, the buddha was just enlightened. who’s the buddha? this guy, who sat under a tree for so long that he figured out how to ignore the fact that we’re all dying. you could make a religion out of this.
oops, china just broke. but while it was breaking, confucius was figuring out how to have good morals.
enlightenment
ah, the greeks just had the idea of thinking about stuff.
and right over here, alexander just had the idea of conquering the entire persian empire. it’s a great idea. he was… great. and now he’s dead. hopefully, the rest of the gang will be able to share the empire evenly between them.
knock knock, it’s chandragupta. he says “get the hell out of here. will you get the hell out of here if i give you 500 elephants? okay, thanks, bye”
time to conquer all of india
er
most of india
but what about this part? that’s the tamil kings. no one conquers the tamil kings. who are the tamil kings? merchants, probably. and they’ve gotspices!
who would like to buy the spices? “me!” said the arabians, swiftly buying it and selling it to the rest of the world.
hey, china put itself back together again, with good morals as their main philosophy. actually, they have three main philosophies:
confucianism: have good morals
taoism: go with the flow
legalism: fuck you, obey the law
out here, the horse nomads run wild and free, and they would like to ransack your city.
nomads ransack china
let’s check the greekification levels of the greekified kingdoms: greekification overload.bye, said the parthians. bye, said the jews. hi, said the parthians, taking over the entire place.
heyyyyy, said the romans, eating the entire mediterranean for breakfast. “thanks for invading our homeland,” said the jews, who were starting to get tired of people invading their homeland.
“hi, everything’s great,” said some guy who seems to be getting very popular and is then arrested and killed for being too popular, which actually makes him more popular. you could make a religion out of this.
want silk? now you can buy it from china. they just made a brand new road to the world.
conquers vietnam
or you can get there on water
“sick! new trade routes!” said india, accidentally spreading their religion to the entire southeast.
hmm, that’s a good place for an epic trading kingdom.
there goes buddhism, travelling up the silk road. i wonder if it’ll reach china before it collapses again.
remember the persian empire? yep, said the persians, making a new one.
axum is getting so powerful, they would like to build a long stick.
has anyone populated madagascar yet? let’s do it together.
china is whole again…
…then it broke again
still can’t cross the sahara desert? try camels.
“hell yeah! now we’ve got business,” said the ghana empire, selling lots of gold. and slaves.
“hi, i’m a member of the roman empire, and i was wondering
is loving jesus legal yet?”
“no”
“actually, okay sure,” said constantine, moving the capital way over here to be closer to his main rival. don’t worry about rome, it won’t fall.
it’s the golden age of india
there’s the gupta empire, not chandragupta, just gupta. first name chandra. the first.
guess who’s in rome? barbarians. what’s a barbarian? “non-romans,” said the romans, being invaded by non-romans. r.i.p. roman empire. actually just half of it, the other half is just fine, but it’s not in rome anymore, so let’s give it a new name.
the mayans have figured out the stars
oh, and here’s a huge city, population: everyone.
the göktürks have taken over the entire eurasian steppe. great job, göktürks.
how’s india? broken. how’s china? back together.
how’s those trading kingdoms? bigger, and there’s more of them.
korea has three kingdoms. japan has a kingdom, it’s the sunrise kingdom.
intermission
deep in the arabian desert, on the top of a mountain, the real god whispers in muhammad’s ear. so, he goes down to the cube where everyone worships gods and he tells them their gods are all fake. and everyone got so mad at him that he had to leave town and go to a different town. you could make a religion out of this, and maybe conquer the world as well.
the roman empire is long gone, but somehow the pope is still the pope. plus, there’s new kingdoms all over europe. i wonder if there’s room for moors.
here’s all the wisdom. in a house. it’s the baghdad house of wisdom! just in time for the islamic golden age!
“let’s bring stuff to the coast and sell it, and become the swahili on the swahili coast,” said the swahili on the swahili coast.
remember this tiny space you have to go through to get from here to there? someone owns that now.
wanna get enlightened in the middle of nowhere?
the franks have the biggest kingdom in europe, and the pope is so proud that he invites the king over for christmas. “surprise! you’re the new roman emporer!” said the pope, pretending to still be part of the roman empire. then the franks broke their kingdom into what will later be called france and not-france.
the northerners, er, just “norse” if you don’t have much time, are exploring. they go north, from the north to the northern north. and they find some land— two types of land!— and they name them accordingly.
prankd
they also invade some other places and get called many names, such as “vikings.”
there’s the rus! the kievan rus! are they vikings? “i don’t think so,” said the kievan rus. okay, fair enough.
the pope is ready to make some more emperors of the roman empire. the holy roman empire! it’s actually germany, but don’t worry about it. new kingdoms—
CRISTIANIZE ALL THE KINGDOMS!!
which brand would you like?
“mine’s better”
“mine’s better”
“mine’s better”
“time to conquer england,” said william.
it’s a bird! it’s a plane! it’s the seljuk turks!
“aah!” said the byzantine empire, who’s getting so small and almost doesn’t exist anymore. “we need help!” they need help! so they call the pope.
“hey pope, can you help us get rid of the seljuks? maybe take back the holy land on the way? come on, i know you want to take back the holy land.”
“yes, i do actually want to do that. let’s do a crusade.”
crusade!
they did many crusades. some of which almost didn’t fail. but at least the italians got some sweet trade deals.
goodbye mayans. hello toltecs! goodbye toltecs. hello mississippi! look at those mounds.
there’s the pueblo. i always wondered how to build a town in a cliff.
guess who’s here? khmer. where? here! and pagan is there. vietnam unconquered itself, korea just became itself, and japan is so addicted to art that the military might have to take over the government.
china just invented bombs, and typing. and the mongols just invaded most of the universe. nice going, genghis! i bet that will last a long time.
some of the islamic turks were unaffected by the mongol invasions because they were busy invading india.
is it tonga time? i think it’s tonga time.
i just figured out where the swahili gets all of their gold.
look at this chad! it means “lake.” there’s an empire there! right in the middle of africa!
the king of mali is so rich, he’s going on tour to let everyone know. “wow, that guy’s rich,” everyone said.
the christians are doing a great job reconquering iberia, which will soon be called spain and not-spain. please remain christian. we will check in later to see if you’re still christian when you least expect.
whoops, half of europe just died.
ming! china’s back, yay!
hey, khmer. time to share. new kingdoms, here and there.
oh, look who controls all of the islands. it’s the mahajapit.
majahapit.
mapajahit.
mahapajit.
mapajahit.
ma-ja-pa-hit?
oh, italy’s real rich. time for them to care a lot about art and the ancient classics. it’s kinda like a rebirth.
here’s a printer. let’s make books!
so you think you can conquer the byzantine empire? yep, said the ottoman turks. nice job, ottoman turks. oops, you missed a spot. don’t forget to ban europe from the indian spice trade.
“what? that’s bullshit,” said portugal, spiceless.
“well i guess we’ll have to find another way to india”
“wait!” said christopher columbus, probably smoking crack. “if the world is round, let’s go this way to india.”
“nah, don’t worry, we already got this,” said portugal.
so chris goes to spain. “hey spain, wanna hire me to find india by going around back of the world?”
“no”
“please?”
“no”
“please?”
“wtf”
“no”
“please?”
“…okay”
so he sails into the ocean, and discovers… more ocean. and then discovers the indies, and japan! let’s draw a line to decide who gets which half of the world.
the aztec and the inca empires are off to a great start. i wonder if they know that europe just discovered their continent.
the hapsburgs are marrying into so many royal families, they might have to start marrying each other.
move over, lithuania, here comes moscow. ivan wants to make russia great again.
move over, timurids, maybe go invade india or something. persia just made persia persian again.
let’s make it the other kind of islam. the one where we thought the first guy should’ve been the other guy.
hey, christians! do you sin? now you can buy your way out of hell!
“that’s bullshit. this whole thing is bullshit. that’s a scam. fuck the church. here’s 95 reasons why,” said martin luther, in his new book which might have accidentally started the protestant reformation.
“you know what would be magnificent?” said suleiman wearing an onion hat. “what if the ottoman empire was… really big?” which it is now.
“what if russia was big?” said ivan, trying not to be terrible.
portugal had a dream that they controlled the entire indian ocean, including the spice trade. and then that dream was real.
and spain realized that this is not india, but they pillaged it anyway. “damn,” said england and france. “we gotta start pillaging some stuff.” then the dutch revolt, and all the hipsters moved to amsterdam. “damn,” said amsterdam. “we gotta start pillaging some stuff.”
question one: can you get to india from north america? no, but at least there’s beaver.
question two: steal the spice trade. that’s not a question, but the dutch did it anyway.
and sugar… guess where all of the sugar is made? in brazil! stolen! in the caribbean! and it’s so goddamn profitable, you might forget to not do slavery.
the next thing on russia’s to-do list is to get bigger.
britain and france are having a friendly discussion about who should control the entire world. more specifically, ohio. then it escalates into a seven-year discussion, giving prussia a chance to show austria who’s boss. but what about britain and france, did they figure out who’s boss? yes they did! it’s britain.
guess who’s broke? also britain! so they start taxing the hell out of america. “fuck you!” says america, declaring their independence and fighting for it, and france helps them win. now france is broke, and britain will have to send their prisoners to a different continent.
wait, if france is broke, why do the king and queen still wear such fancy dresses?
“let’s overthrow the palace and cut all their heads off!” said robespierre, cutting everybody’s heads off until someone eventually got mad and cut his head off.
you could make a rel— no, don’t.
haiti is starting to like the idea of a revolution, especially the slaves, who free themselves by killing their masters. “why didn’t we think of this before?”
wait, who’s in charge of france now? “me,” said napoleon, trying to take over europe. luckily, they banished him to an island. but he came back!luckily, they banished him to another island.
there goes latin america, becoming independent in the latin american wars of independence.
britain just figured out how to turn steam into power, so now they can make many different types of machines and factories with machines in them so they can make a lot of products real fast. then they invent some trains. and conquer india and maybe put some trains there.
“hey, china!” said britain. “buy stuff from us!” “nah, dude, we already got everything,” says china. so britain tried to get them addicted to opium, which worked, actually. but then china made it illegal and dumped it all into the sea. so britain threw a hissy fit and made them open up five cities and give them an island.
britain and russia are playing a game where they try to stop the other person from conquering afghanistan.
also, the sultan of oman lives in zanzibar now:“that’s just where he lives.”
india just had a revolution, and they would like to govern themselves now. “nope,” said britain, governing them even harder than before.
incoming telegram: HI I JUST SENT YOU A MESSAGE THRU A WIRE
technology is about to go crazy!
the united states finally figured out whether slavery is good or bad. it’s bad, they decided, and then they continued manifesting their destiny, which is to kill the rest of the natives and take their land and maybe kick out the mexicans too.
“i know! let’s rape africa!” said europe, scrambling to see who could rape it the fastest. they never got ethiopia…
britain and france are still hungry. they never got thailand…
the united states ran out of destiny to manifest, so they’re looking for more:
hawaii!
cuba!
wait, spain controls cuba.
well, blame something on them and go to war! what should we blame on spain?
u.s.s. maine sinks
“let’s blame the maine on spain.”
so they blame the maine on spain.
now we’re in business.
to celebrate, they kick panama out of panama and make a canal, connecting the two oceans.
britain just found oil in the middle east. it makes cars go…
china is so tired of being bossed around that they delete their old government and make a new, stronger government, which is accidentally weaker and is controlled by a guy from the previous government.
europe hasn’t had a war since the last war, so they start world war one. look at those guns! it’s gonna be a great war, so great we won’t need a second one. after it’s over, they blame germany.
russia went on strike, and the workers overthrew the government. now, everyone’s paycheck is the same. communism in the soviet union…
the arabs revolt and britain helps. now the ottoman empire is gone, so we can give the jewish people a place to live. hopefully the arabs won’t mind.
“let’s cut the cake!” said sykes and picot, carving up the remains of the not-so-ottoman-anymore-empire.
except turkey! turkey makes a brand new turkey!
and then the saudis conquer arabia. it just seemed like the right thing to do.
phone rings
hello? yes, it’s the 1920’s calling. let’s get to a car and drive to a party and listen to jazz on the radio and go to the movies. the economy is great and it will probably be great forever. just kidding.
germany’s back, featuring hitler, the angry mustache model, and he’s mad at the jews for existing.
japan is finally conquering the east, and they’re so excited, they rape nanking way too hard. they should probably just deny it.
hitler’s out of control, so the international community tackles him and tries to explain to him why killing all of the jews is a bad idea. but he kills himself because they could explain it to him. that’s world war two!
bonus round! pacific showdown
united states vs. japan
FIGHT!!
united states drops two extinction balls on japan
FINISH HIM!
let’s unite all the nations and have some world peace! seems legit.
“hi, im gandhi, and if britain doesn’t get the hell out of india, i’m going to starve myself in public.”
britain leaves
“wow, that worked?”
bonus! now there’s pakistan. actually two pakistans, one of them can be bangladesh later.
the jews and the arabs finally figured out which one of them should live in the holy land. “me!” they both said at the same time. let’s divide up the lands so we’re both happy. SIKE! they both get angrier!
look out, china! there’s a new china in china. what’s on the menu? communism! no thanks, said the other china, escaping to an island. i wonder which one is the real china…?
there’s the korean war. korea versus korea! nobody wins, then its on pause forever.
let’s meet the sponsors. oh, it’s the two global superpowers. they’re having a friendly debate over which economic system is good and which one is an evil virus of satan. and they both have atom bombs. FIGHT!! wait, no, that would be the end of the world. let’s just keep it cool and spy on each other instead. and make sure we have enough atom bombs.
“i’ll race you to space.”
united states plants a flag on the moon
now let’s make more countries fight themselves.
europe is tired of pillaging other continents, and the continents they were pillaging are tired of being pillaged. so here’s a new map with new countries. now you can’t tell who they’re being pillaged by.
the united states finally decided whether racism is good or bad. they decided it’s bad, and the world agrees. south africa might need another minute to think about it.
let’s check the world population!
woah. okay.
technology is better too, that might keep happening.
the soviet union decides to relax a little, and accidentally falls apart.
europe makes a union, so now they can all use the same money. except britain, because they don’t feel like it.
let’s check the mail… surprise! it’s on the computer!
whoops, someone just attacked america. i bet they’ll remember that.
phone call! surprise! it’s in your pocket! wanna learn everything? surprise! it’s on the computer! now your phone’s a computer, which is in your pocket!
whoops, the economy just crashed. don’t worry, the big banks won’t fail, because they’re not supposed to.
surprise!… flying robots. with bombs.
wanna print a brain?
some people have no friends. some people have no food. the globe is warming, and the ocean is full of plastic!
“let’s save the planet!” said everybody, not knowing how.
“let’s invent a thing inventor,” said the thing inventor inventor after being invented by a thing inventor. that’s pretty cool.
by the way, where the hell are we?
thanks for watching history
i hope i mentioned everything
psychic: what the fuck

Wonder Woman (2017) is a movie about this special person from an isolated mountain top who’s over a hundred years old that needs to take down this all powerful evil guy before a flying projectile (kinda like a comet) ends up killing millions of people and also to end a war.

The M.C’s diverse gang of friends expands as she journeys to take down the evil lord dude.

Then later on there’s literally air bending, metal bending and lightning bending.

In conclusion: Wonder Woman was a better Aang story than The Last Airbender (2010)

anonymous asked:

Ok so question for your lost lance au : would atleast one person suspect that Lance is someone else at first bc like the whole team (minus Keith) believes he's dead then all the sudden Keith bursts through the door claiming he found someone who has been assumed dead for two years

okay so … let me finally explain what happened bc I think i have to to answer this question

((Long explanation/ MAJOR spoilers under the cut))

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

And just when people were complaining about canon eruri and how selfish erwin is tons of official material confirming eruri and erwin's tenderness are released

I KNOW RITE?  It’s almost as if Eruri is actually canon!  Who’d have thunk it? 

This picture absolutely slayed me when I saw it this morning, but it was only later in the day I saw @pammu_28′s amazing translation of the scene.  It’s all there…Levi teasing “Mr Commander” for being tender and spoiling the new recruits, Erwin getting a little drunk, a little over emotional, confessing how much he relies on Levi, and Levi caring for him, telling him to call it a night, taking him home and holding him in his arms, caressing him until he falls asleep.  Okay, I may have made that last bit up :}  Only just though! 

E : ah….. I am counting on you, Levi.
L : ….did you drink too much?
E : …………….. perhaps.
L : it’s about time. Let’s call it a day. 

The whole thing makes me melt with joy because it’s not a million miles away from the basic premiss of the very first Eruri fic I ever wrote - Written On His Skin.  And now, two years later, here we are, Levi comforting drunk and emotional Erwin is canon.  I can die happy now. 

ETA This image and scene are newly released from the 3DS game - more info here

never enough | jungkook


pairing:
jeon jungkook | reader 
genre: angst, (very light) smut, bestfriends!au [requested]
word count: 3.4k

“You know, it hurt when I realized that you’re not in love with me. But nothing can compare to the pain I felt when I saw you fall in love with her.” [prompt from here]

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React to K-Pop

Originally posted by yongguk-hell-chyeah

Zhang Yixing/Lay x YouTuber!Reader - Fluff

Words: 4.9K

Summary: It all started when you, a YouTuber, got invited to a famous react channel to react to EXO. Being a huge fan of them, your reaction sparked an interest in not only your fans and their fans, but EXO themselves.

A/N: This was a request from @icehooligan - I’m actually SO sorry it took so long, but it was really fun to write! Thank you again!


“Your voice is just amazing!!”

“If you had a concert, i’d definitely go!”

“She’s so pretty”

The corner of your lips lifted when you read the comments to your latest song cover of a popular pop song. Glancing at the view count, you pearly whites shined at the 1.2 million views. You kicked your legs in the air and spun on your chair, smiling brightly for achieving your goal of 1 million views in just three days. You leaped out of the chair and stretched your arms.

“Ahhhh quitting my job was such a great choice!” You exclaimed to nobody in particular so you glanced at your plants. “Thanks for always being there for me.”

Poking a leaf of your innocent succulent, you sat back down with a radiant smile ever present on your gleaming face, adding to the appeal. Inhaling deeply, you closed your eyes and allowed the sunlight to seep through your curtains to caress your face gently. You soaked in the heat of the sun and sighed.

Keep reading

It’s Me

[title]: it’s me

[pairing]: shawn mendes x reader

[requested]: yes – (x)

[summary]: basically what the prompt says :)

[warnings]: fluff

[author’s note]: first off, i’d like to apologize greatly to anonymous about the long long long long long long long wait on this imagine, you guys don’t even know how much i hate myself. but I’M BACK BITCHES!

Originally posted by fearless-man


YOU let out a loud squeal as your heart thumps rapidly against your ribcage. The corners of your mouth pull your lips into a wide smile. Your eyes crinkle as small giggles slip off of your tongue. Your chest is filled with ecstatic and joyous shocks of excitement and adrenaline.

Shawn’s large hands have a strong grip on your hips, pulling you against him so that he can wrap his arms around your waist. Laughs escape his throat, at the sight of your happiness. He picks you up off of your feet, spinning you around.

“Shawn!” You squeal as he sets you down. Your heart pounds in your chest at a rapid, almost violent pace as his hands trail up and down your body, finally resting on your hips. He looks down upon your small figure, a grin etched on his face.

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispers; you blush. “Have I ever told you that before, Y/N?”

You shyly shake your head, snaking your arms up and around Shawn’s neck affectionately.

“Well you are, love.” Shawn’s dark orbs stare deeply into your own, before he rests his forehead on yours.

This type of affection and love towards each other had occurred in the past on multiple occasions. Because of your past, you’d known Shawn for years, and you’d always been close. Your parents had always been the best of friends as you had lived in the same neighborhood back in Pickering, therefore that kind of made you and Shawn best friends from the get-go.

Your friends, strangers and even family always thought you two were a thing; based on how close and comfortable you both were towards each other. Your parents had even pointed out the weird, yet content sexual tension surrounding the both of you all the time.

Even after several years of this same type of affection, you still had never been used to it. It was flattering, to say the least, but you’d never been the one to do the whole ‘relationship’ thing. What made the whole situation even ‘weirder’ was the fact that you were only sixteen. This might have only been weird to you because most guys stopped and stared at you, coming onto you, but you’d simply either shrug it off or politely ask them to leave you alone.

Being so young, you had not a clue what love was. You always had a clue of what it was, yet you never knew the exact meaning and purpose of it. You wanted to find out, but you weren’t sure how far you wanted to venture out of your comfort zone at this age and time.

Anyways, coming up on the age of fourteen, you soon had realized this weird feeling you always had in your stomach when you were around Shawn (which was quite often since you were neighbors and the closest of friends). You felt at home, safe with Shawn, as if he were your own paradise; your own sanctuary.

As the next two years flew by, these strange and desolate feelings failed to suppress themselves. What did this mean? Thanks to the education you inherited from your parents and experienced figures you called your ‘friends’, you soon realized you loved Shawn. How could this be? You didn’t even know what love was. At this young of an age? Did he feel the same way?

As bizarre and out of the ordinary as it sounded, you soon had to face the music. All of the small gestures and motions he made in your presence made your heart flutter, which you only assumed came out of the love you had for him. Being the naïve and lovesick girl you were, you had never tried to truly find out the way that he felt towards you. You couldn’t help but wonder, however.

The flirting, name calling, everything was so surreal, you were overwhelmed.

Leaving small, chaste kisses, Shawn trails his lips from your cheek, down to your jaw and finally on your neck, where he lightly bites the flesh on your neck to your delight. Leaning your head back, you offer Shawn more access to your neck as your eyes flutter shut and a small giggle leaves your lips.

Soon enough, he makes his way back up to your cheek and stops. For a moment, he stares into your eyes once more, and his gaze flickers to your lips, as if asking permission. A slight nod initiates his movement as he goes in and lightly places his lips on yours.

Hesitantly, your lips mold with his, unsure of the feeling and exactly what to do in this situation. Nevermind that, you carry on.

The room fills ecstasy and excitement as the two of you enjoy each other’s company, kissing one another like nothing matters.

After half a minute, realization and even more doubt comes to mind and smacks you in the face. All of a sudden, all of this doubt and fear enters your mind.

You weren’t ready for this. Not yet.

Pulling away slightly, Shawn notices your hesitation and pulls away completely.

“Are you okay?” He asks lightly.

You nod your head, looking down in embarrassment.

Immediately, he understands the notion of your actions. Reaching up, his hand cups your face forcing you to look directly at him.

“I’m sorry.” You whisper.

“Don’t be,” he refutes. “I get it.”

You look at him with curious eyes. “I don’t get it, though…”

Shawn’s eyebrows furrow. “Get what?”

“For countless years, I’ve endlessly tortured you with all of the flirting, yet I don’t know when I’m gonna be ready for a serious commitment or relationship. You know I’ve always been shy, naïve and everything and I don’t get how you’ve put up with it for so long. Truthfully, I want to find out what love is, find out with you, but I’m just so afraid of the outcome and everything. Why do you still like me?”

Shawn offers you a small smile, cupping your face with both of his hands. “I’ve always liked you, Y/N. Ever since we were young and dumb, I knew that you were the one that I’d want to end up with, whether that’s in a day, a month, a year, several years. Y/N, I’ve liked you for so long, I don’t care if you’re not ready for a relationship. I’ll wait until the stars stop shining, until the sun no longer sheds light, until the day I die and after that if it means I even have a remote chance of being with you. In these past sixteen years of knowing such a beautiful specimen, I think just now, I’ve finally realized that… I love you, Y/N. So much. And I’ll never stop loving you for as long as I live. There’s nothing that could stop me from loving you. It’s okay, it’s me.”

Your eyes brim with tears, processing every sentence, every word, syllable, everything. Shawn stares down at you lovingly. “I love you too.” You whisper.

Shawn smiles widely, pulling you into a hug and rubs your back lightly.

“I’ll love you with a hundred percent of my heart. I’ll wait a thousand years for you to come around. I’ll walk a million miles to the ends of the earth to find you, baby.”

9 months later…

“Shawn!” A squeal erupts from your throat as he spins you around. With your head thrown back, a string of laughs and giggles slip past your lips joyfully.

Sound familiar?

Setting you down, light as a feather, he places a small kiss on your forehead. Looking down on you with the same loving eyes he had for you for all these years, a feeling of bliss in his heart, clearly shown in his complexion. This boy really was head over heels for you.

Staring profoundly into each other’s eyes, you swear you could see his soul.

Swallowing hard, you shakily breathe, “I-I think I’m ready.”

Shawn’s eyebrows rise in surprise. “You are?”

You slowly nod, feeling yourself begin to tremble.

“You’re shaking, love.” Shawn inputs, cupping your face with his large palm.

“I’m okay, I swear.” You gulp.

“Are you sure?”

You nod, feeling confident.

With a smile and a wink, Shawn closes in on your lips, lacing his fingers with yours and cupping your face with his other hand.

And this time, you don’t hesitate one bit.


guys it’s been so long since i posted on my page and i’m so sorry.

i went through a phase where i felt literally no inspiration, no motivation, things came up, and i just never had time to write. but now, i’m going to try my best to produce as much content as possible for you guys.

i can’t promise anything going into the future except that i will do the best of my ability to make y’all happy :)

[ want more? → masterlist ]

— august 1st, 2017

Happy Birthday! Donatello x Reader.

Donatello’s birthday had started out the way it always did:
Him, sleeping peacefully and snoring softly, only to be awakened by his name being called.
“Doooooniiiiie…Doooooniiiiie…”
His eyes cracked open and he saw his brothers looking down at him. Raphael smiling at him, gold eyes glinting. Mikey trying desperetly not to laugh and even Leonardo snickering.
“Happy birthday!!” they all shouted.
Immediately, a loud popping noise was heard and Donnie sat up with a shriek. His body and bad were now covered in sparkly purple and green confetti as his brothers laughed.
“Come on, get outta bed, birthday boy!” Mikey said, yanking him up.
Now awake, Donnie smiled at his brothers. It was a stupid tradition but he knew that he would be disappointed if they stopped doing it. Even if he would be finding confetti everywhere for the rest of his life…
“Does the birthday boy get breakfast?” he asked.
“And coffee, just how you like it.” Leo replied.
Everything after that was the way it always want. A big breakfast made by Mikey, his brothers teasing him as they decorated the Lair, and his father telling loads of embarrassing stories about him as a baby (complete with pictures).
April and Casey showed up, each carrying a box and then…Y/N. Donatello wasn’t trying to pick favorites, but he was most excited to see Y/N.
After all, they had never celebrated his birthday before. It was odd, but he noticed that his brothers seemed excited to see her too. Leonardo whispered something to Y/N and Mikey and Raph couldn’t stop smiling.
But he forgot about as soon as Y/N kissed him.
“Happy birthday, Don.”
“Are you my present?” he quipped, earning a laugh from Mikey.
An hour later, the party was set up. Blanket “tents” strung up around the room, pillows and comforters spread out on the ground. On a low table, an Italian dinner was set up and all of Donnie’s favorite people gathered around it.
April and Casey sat next to Y/N with his girlfriend sitting cloeset to the turtle, his brothers on the opposite side, and Don and Master Splinter on either end.
Everyone laughed and talked and Donatello began to think that this had been his best birthday yet.
But it wasn’t over yet.
“Hey, is the birthday boy ready for presents and cake?” Leonardo asked.
The table was cleared off and Donnie was presented with a big chocolate cake as everyone sang “Happy Birthday”.
“Make a wish, my son.” Splinter said softly.
And he did, blowing out the purple candles as his family cheered happily.
And then he opened his presents one by one. Big boxes of old books, textbooks and science fiction novels lay stacked inside. Asorted gadgets scavenged from a junkyard (Donnie was already planning what he could do with those), and old VHS tapes Raph and Casey had fixed up.
“My turn!” Y/N said, quickly darting off to…Leo’s room?
Donatello looked at his family in confusion and they looked back at him excitedly. Y/N returned with a large box wrapped in purple polka dot paper and placed it on the ground.
“Happy birthday, sweetheart.”
He opened it and immediately smiled.
A slightly beat up box that contained a big, brand new tent. He thought of the old one he had, patched up and put together after breaking a million times.
“This is perfect!”
“I thought you might need it.” Y/N replied.
“Huh?” Donnie had barely heard her over his excitement.
“For your trip, bro. You and your lady, out in the wilderness…you gotta have shelter.” Michelangelo said.
Donnie looked up, his smile only getting wider.
“We know that you wanted to go camping this year but couldn’t…so we thought we’d all pitch in and get you something for later.” Leo added.
“And then we had an even better idea. A birthday vacation!”
“Are you guys sure? I mean, is it okay if I…” Donnie asked.
Master Splinter looked at his son and said,
“Everyone deserves to spend time with those closest to thier hearts. We will miss you and Y/N, but we will also manage.”
Donatello grinned at his friends and his family before pulling Y/N into a big hug.
They all giggled over the love birds and Y/N whispered to him,
“Is it a good present, darling?”
“It’s perfect.” he whispers.
And it really, really was.

Touché Finale

Genre: Hitman!au, Hitman Jungkook
Pairing: Reader/Jungkook
Length: 2.2k
A/N: AAAAAND it comes to an end! Thanks for all your lovely messages and words of encouragement, I really appreciated each and every one of them. I really didn’t expect to write a whole series for this, nonetheless 10 parts, but look at where we are. Hope you enjoyed the series my lovelies~

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Finale

Originally posted by jjks

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I Am An Alpha Ch 24: You Are An Alpha

109 years, or so, ago…..

(M)Insoo’s POV

“Oppa?” I cry as I trip and stumble out of the forest. The gates of my home come into view, I jump to my feet and rush towards the glowing village.

“Minsoo!” My brother’s voice echoes. I pause in the field between my village and the forest, not sure of where his voice came from. Tears stain my pink cheeks, my lip juts out in a pout. On trembling feet I tip toe closer to the forest I had just come from, the same one’s I followed Kwangsoo and Myungsoo in, I’m such an idiot.

“Oppas!” I call once again into the dark forest. My fingers fiddle with gorum of my hanbok, filled with dread, not only did I get my dress dirty but I lost my brothers as well. Mother is going to be so upset with me. I gulp, I can’t go back without them. Feeling brave I rush back in, holding my skirt up to move faster across the uneven ground. “Myungsoo oppa! Kwangsoo Oppa! Where are you?”

Maybe I should ask for help. Maybe I should find Insoo. I nod, that’s what I’ll do! I turn on my heel ready to rush back but freeze at the sight of a large dark brown wolf. His teeth are bared, crouched low, he looks ready to attack. Without a thought I snarl back, though I know I shouldn’t. My families words echo in my ears, always bow your head to an alpha, know your place in this world. My actions could be the cause of my death but that doesn’t stop me from crouching on to all fours and baring my own little fangs.

The strange alpha doesn’t respond how I thought he would, how everyone has told me he would. He doesn’t attack me, doesn’t force me into submission, he laughs, as best as a wolf can. He scents the air, most likely looking for another alpha, my alpha. When he comes back with nothing he tuts. I don’t back away as he takes a step closer, his eyes fixated on mine daring me to back down. The closer he comes the more propionate his alpha pheromones become, he smells like blood and dirt. It’s as if he has been scented by death itself.

When my stance doesn’t falter his hesitance disappears, he approaches me as if he knows me. The casualness of his actions surprise me. Without a care he shoves his snout into the crook of my neck and takes a deep breath in. I panic, I jump back swatting at the giant for his careless actions.

“Don’t even think of marking me!” I snarl, “I am not your mate!”

The wolf tuts, he closes his eyes for a moment, his snout crinkles slightly as he slowly shifts into his human form, “I’m not an idiot, I know you are not mine Child.” The man stands tall with his shoulders back, alpha written all over him. He is a tan man with a face almost too pretty for the rest of his body. Wide shoulders and a broad chest take up most of my vision, long arms and legs create the man in front of me.

“Than why are you scenting me?” I wonder covering my neck.

“I’m wondering where your alpha is, an omega child shouldn’t be out in the woods alone at night.”

I raise my chin, “I can take care of myself.”

He raises a brow at me, “I can tell, you growled at a rouge alpha. That isn’t very safe either.”

“I’m looking for my brothers,” I tell him.

“They aren’t out here, you are the only villager in this forest.”

“Who else is out here?”

He gives me a sad smile, “Nothing you need to worry about. You should go home to your family where it is safe.”

“I can’t go back without my brothers!”

“Come,” He offers me a hand. “I’ll take you back little wolf. We don’t want you getting into any trouble.” Hesitantly I take his large hand in mine and allow him to lead me back the way I came. “You are the chief’s daughter, aren’t you?”

Looking up at him I nod, “How did you know?”

“I can smell him on you. You aren’t very in touch with your wolf are?”

“No, my family tells me I shouldn’t bother, I won’t need it,” I grumble.

He scoffs, “You don’t seem like the type to listen to anyone.”

“I’m usually not but anytime I tried when I was little my brothers would stop me.”

“How so?”

“Their favorite thing to do when I would try to improve my hearing is make the loudest sound possible. Kwangsoo has a really loud howl, it really hurt my ears so after they did it so often I just started tuning things out.”

“So you have the hearing of a human?”

“Probably about the same.”

“And how old are you?”

“I’m nine.”

He hums. We arrive to the edge of the forest, the man crouches down to my level and looks me in the eye, “Do you like being an omega?”

I shake my head. I don’t even need time to think over my answer. I hate being an omega, I hate that I’m expected to be submissive to any alpha that growls at me. I hate that my only value is to be an offering to an alpha as a wife to make my pack stronger. I hate that everyone around me knows that is all I’m worth. I hate it so much.

“Do you think you could be an alpha?”

“I don’t know,” I choke out. Regardless of my stubbornness I am weak. I am far too small for much of anything.

He shakes his head, “Wrong answer. I asked you, do you think you can be an alpha, yes or no?”

This time I force myself not to hesitate, “Yes.”

“Say it stronger, say it louder, with your shoulders back and your chin up, you are an alpha,” A gentle hand guides my chin up, contrasting to his tough words.

“Yes! I can be an alpha!”

“Good job little wolf,” He smiles softly at me, “You need to always be that strong. Never bare your neck to anyone, understand? If you die, you die with your head held high.”

“Like the alpha that I am,” I finish for him, making the strange alpha smile wider.

“Now go home little Miss,” He nudges me farther out of the forest, “enjoy your family and sleep well tonight.”

“Thank you,” I bow deeply before rushing across the field to my home. A guard sees me and bows only slightly as he opens the gate to my family courtyard.

“Minsoo!” Insoo greets me, half scolding, half relief, “Where have you been?”

“I went to play in the forest with Kwangsoo and Myungsoo oppa but they left me!” I explain to the tall alpha. Kneels down so we are even, he scans my dirty dress and tear stained cheeks with a sigh. His green eyes that mirror my own are filled with pity, the kind an alpha has for a poor, weak omega. Sun kissed hands brush over my hair in an attempt to calm the crazy waves, that again match his own. Insoo is the one who looks most like me, though our sizes and value are on completely different ends he is also who I match in personality. Though when he speaks his mind he is considered brave and true, if I do the same I am told my mouth and my mind are too big for my status.

“I told you a dozen times not to play with them! You know they don’t mean well when they ask you play,” He warns me once again.

“I was hoping they would be nicer now that they are getting older,” I mumble softly, my omega rearing her head.

“Those boys are still young, they won’t mature for a million years.”

“How come you are so nice than Oppa? You aren’t even that much older than me!”

“I have more responsibilities than them as the oldest, it’s made me a better person for it. Once I become head alpha I’ll make sure those boys won’t dear to mess with you, okay?” He gives me a heart winning grin.

“Thanks Oppa,” My thin arms wrap around his neck in a tight hug, I pull away a moment later, “But I don’t need you to protect me.”

He chuckles, “Oh really?”

“I can protect myself!” I set my shoulders back and hold my chin high like the alpha taught me.

“Like hell you can Omega,” Kwangsoo taunts as he comes up behind me and pulls on my braid, sending me back on to my butt. I whip around faster than I thought possible and growl at him. Both him and Myungsoo step back surprised by my actions, “What the hell is wrong with you?” He snarls in return.

“You left me alone out there!” I snap back.

“Watch your mouth,” The older of the twins, Myungsoo, seethes. “What makes you think you can talk to us like that?”

“I am an alpha!” I yell proudly.

Both boys laugh, “Who the hell told you that bullshit?”

“The alpha in the forest, he told me I’m strong, that if I don’t bow my head to alphas like you I can be an alpha too!”

Any kind of humor they found in my last answer fades away, Insoo whips me around, grasping my shoulders with his large hands he fums, “Who told that?”

I gulp, not used to Insoo being so rough with me, “The strange alpha in the forest.”

“Who is he?”

I shrug, “I don’t know. He didn’t tell me his name.”

“What did he say to you?”

“He asked if I was the chief’s daughter and if I liked being an omega.”

“Did he ask you anything else?”

I shake my head, my bravery depleting.

“Minsoo, do you have any idea how dangerous that was for you? What that alpha could have done to you? You are just an omega, you can’t protect yourself, no matter what that alpha says!”

My head snaps up, my eyes narrow on him, “If I don’t protect myself, who will? You, Oppa? Myungsoo and Kwangsoo oppa? My two brothers who are the ones that left me out there alone with that alpha?”

“What is wrong with you today Minsoo? You’ve never acted like this before,” Insoo half worries.

“That’s because no one has ever told me I can be more than just an omega until today!”

“This is ridiculous,” Myungsoo huffs, “Hyung go tell father about the intruder.”

My eldest brother is hesitant to release me, those eyes of his lock with mine as if trying to find something, trying to find my omega, my submissiveness but I put it away. He sighs, “You are right. You guys go ahead, I’m going to scent Minsoo then I join you, okay?” The twins nod before walking off together in step. When they are gone Insoo visibly relaxes, “I’m sorry I snapped like that. I panicked when I you mentioned that other alpha.”

I say nothing.

“Minnie, please talk to me. I know I was mean but I was just worried.”

“Than your first question should have been if I was alright,” I sass back quietly.

He chuckles, “You are right, I’m sorry. Are you okay? He didn’t hurt you did he?” Green eye scan me over.

“I’m alright.”

“Good,” He smiles brightly.  “Now before Father comes busting out here could I scent you? I need a lead on this strange alpha.”

“Please don’t hurt him, he was really nice,” I hold out my pinky in a small attempt to keep the alpha safe.

Insoo growls deep in his chest, a sign that I have annoyed him but will probably cave to my request. He holds out his own pinky, “I promise not to hurt him.” I smile happily, I tip my head to the side allowing him to scent me. He pulls away a few moment later, his eyebrows bunched together in confusion, “I don’t smell anything.”

I frown, “That’s weird, he scented me right away, you should at least be able to smell something right?”

He leans in again, “I don’t smell absolutely anything, not even your scent. He’s masking it somehow.” My brother pauses, deep in thought for a few moments until his eyes go wide, “Oh no.”

“What?” I whine, feeling the dread pouring off him.

“They are here,” He jumps to his feet and rushes off in the direction of our father, “Father! It’s the blood red army!”

My blood runs cold.

The blood red army, one of the most feared armies in the country. I drop to my knees, my hands tremble at my sides. I was talking to a soldier of the blood red army. He could have murdered me, he could have brought me back to his camp and…

But he didn’t.

He brought me home. He told me I was strong, that I’m an alpha, that I should die before I bow my head to anyone. Such kind words from a soldier. I’m so confused. I sit there on the cold ground, trying to wrap my mind around how the first person to show me such kindness could be such a monster.

“My lady!” One of my hand maidens rushes from the main building of my home.

My head snaps up, “Yes?”

“I’ve been looking for you! Your mother tells me we need to get you ready!”

I frown, “Ready for what?”

…..

Jin’s POV

“Hyung are you alright?” Yoongi asks me with a firm hand on my shoulder, drawing me out of my one mind. I look at his dirty face, paler than I but still his handsome face is still kissed by the sun. His brows are crunched together in concern. In moments like this we cannot be lost in thought, we need to be here and now. In moments where we are wiping out a whole village of innocent people, we are soldiers. Since taking him and Namjoon under my wing I haven’t shown any hesitance for our work, I can’t.

I give him a small smile, “I’m fine.”

He wants to say more but he just nods before stepping back to flank me, standing even with Namjoon behind me. We stare down the gates of the Chief’s home where his three alpha sons are waiting and where our little wolf is probably being hidden. My pack can’t sense it just yet, the pull towards that little girl, that need to bring her into our family, another piece we need to feel whole.

I grip the hilt of my sword tight in my hand, “Let’s do this.”

With ease I step up to the gate and kick it open, revealing less than a dozen armed soldiers of their own. I glance over my shoulder at my younger pack members, “I’m going ahead.”

They nod, drawing their own swords we step forward together. I glance around the clean courtyard, smell the nobility in the air, the power pours out of main house in front of me. The chief’s scent strongest there, his mate and sons are with him, but the youngest child, their omega, is missing from the group. I catch her scent, she must be in the back of the home, well protected.

On quick feet, I jump in between the scared soldiers, leaving them to the wolves. I’m standing at the doors of their sacred home, pushing them open to see the family kneeling. The mother has her forehead pressed to the floor, already chanting promises of wealth and fortune. Her sons are on her left, the two youngest in the same position, small sniffles echo through out the room. The air is filled with the salty smell of fresh tears, a smell I know too well.

I look at the chief, even on his knees he looks powerful, chin up and shoulders back. I now see where our little wolf gets her looks from, while her mother is the ideal of our countries mate, pale skin and small perfect features. Her father is glowing with tan skin. She matches his eyes so perfectly it’s as if I’m staring into her own, large green orbs that hold so much. His full lips are set in a flat line, anger is eched into his features.

“I see you were expecting me,” I tut. I scan the room for more guards or any traps.

“We aren’t going to try and attack you,” The chief informs. “We are not foolish enough to try and fight you.”

I nod, “Very smart decision Chief. Does this mean you are going to cooperate with the whole process than?”

“I request a favor in turn of our cooperation.”

“Of course you do,” I roll my eyes, “Let me guess. You would like me to spare your children of having to do our incitation? Or maybe you wish for your daughter to be spared?”

This makes the mother snap up, “No.”

“No?” My brow quirks up.

The chief looks nervously down at his sons, I follow his gaze to the three boys. One, I am assuming the oldest, is sitting the same as his father, like an alpha even in the possible end. “We would like to make you an offer for our sons’ freedom.”

I sheath my sword on my waist and cross my chest, honestly amused on how people never learn through the stories of the armies brutality, “Do you have any idea how much your sons are worth in the military? I would be able to avoid any kind of punishment for months if I brought them back with me, three strong alphas like them.” The alpha doesn’t answer me, he looks down to the floor, contrite with himself.

But the mother doesn’t feel his hesitance, “What would the chief’s daughter get you?”

A growl is forming in my chest before I even realize it, “You are offering me your daughter?”

She nods, “You can take her. Do whatever you wish with her just please let my sons go! I can’t imagine my boys as soldier,” She grimaces, “They couldn’t murder like you. They couldn’t become monsters like you!”

It takes all of myself control not to rip her throat out here and now, “You are a disgusting woman.” I seethe at that wench.

“Watch your mouth,” The alpha moves to stand, to defend his mate.

“Sit your ass down before I slaughter your sons in front of you.”

He obeys.

“What kind of alpha are you?” I spit into his face, “What kind of father are you? You are leaving your child, your little girl, to the fucking wolves! I have seen many horrible things in my life, I’ve seen sons kill their fathers. I’ve seen families ripped apart but I have never, never, seen some offer their child to us on a silver platter. You are fucking disgusting.”

“Hyung,” Yoongi and Namjoon join us, coated in blood that is not their own. “What’s wrong?”

“Namjoon take the boys to the forest and wait for my word, Yoongi you stay here with the parents, make sure to gag them,” I order as I once again move ot rush off but someone stops me.

The eldest brother is gripping my wrist, eyes pleading, “What are you going to do to her?”

I tear my hand away, another growl buzzes in my chest, “Do you really want to know?”

“Please,” He gulps, “Don’t let her suffer, make it quick when you are done.”

“Those are your pleading words for your sister?” I scoff. “Her well being is none of your fucking business the moment you agreed to offering her up.” I am able to push him away with one hand, forcing him back a couple steps. With one last disgusted glare I turn and continue to my way to her.

It isn’t hard to make my way through the castle they call a home, there is no guards or servants, not a single person watching her. I find her kneeling on the floor wearing nothing but her undergarments with a blindfold over her eyes. The room it’s self is pretty bare, a bed lying against one wall. There is a desk with books nearby and a dresser filled with clothes.  Not the room I was expecting when I first saw her but after her mother’s words this is more than I thought they would give her.

“Hello?” She questions in her soft voice.

I step into the room, taking her in more with each step closer. Her long caramel colored locks are pulled into a loose braid, full pink lips are trembling more and more with each creak of the floor beneath my feet.

“Hello!” The girl shouts.

I reach out my hand and pull off the blindfold off in one go, “Hello little Miss.”

Big green eyes stare up at me, her mouth hanging open in surprise, “You’re the soldier.”

“I am.”

“Where is my family?” She wonders, looking around the room cautiously.

I kneel down in front of her, “I need to ask you something.”

“Okay, but where is my family?”

“When I asked you in the woods if you believed you could be an alpha, did you really mean it when you said yes?”

She hesitates for only a moment before nodding, “Yes.”

I smile, “What do you need to do to be an alpha?”

“Chin up, shoulders back, I need to be strong, to be tough.”

“I need you to remember that okay. So you know who I am, don’t you? Who I work for?”

“The blood red army.”

“Do you know what we do?”

She nods, “You kill people.”

“We also take people, usually young alphas and young omegas.”

“Are you going to take me?”

“Only if you really believe you can be strong, because if you can’t you are not leaving this room alive.” Her face pales but I already care too much for this girl to repeat history. “If you falter out there you will be hurt, very, very badly, do you understand?”

She nods.

“If you are strong you will still get hurt but you will live a better life than what they have planned for you out there. Now we are going to put you in different clothes then we are going to go out there and you are going to become an alpha do you understand?”

Again she nods.

I pull out a small bundle of clothing I had prepared earlier, “Change into these.” She obeys without question, pulling off her undergarments as quickly as possible to pull on the rags we call clothes. “I know they aren’t the best but it’s all I have for you.”

“Why do I need to put these on?” She questions already dressed.

“Because we are going to do something very dangerous.”

She cocks her head, “We?”

“Yes, we. Because we are going to do this together.”

“Why are you helping me?”

I sigh, “Are you afraid of me? Even after you found out who I was and what I do?”

She shakes her head.

“Do you know why that is?”

Again she shakes her head.

“Because we are pack. You, me, and our other members, we are supposed to find each other and be a pack, to protect each other. That’s what I’m doing, I’m going to protect you the only way I know how.”

“By dressing me up in boys’ clothes?”

I nod, “You are going to be a boy.”

“I can’t though! They will all know! You can smell it on me, I am a female omega!” She snaps back, shaking with fear.

“I can hide your scent with my own, I can hide that you are a girl and your omega scent but the rest of it is up to you. You need to be the one who is making other people believe your strength, you need to make me believe you are strong enough for this.”

“How do I do that?”

“You need to kill your parents.”

…………

(M)Insoo’s POV

“Who is that?” Another alpha asks, this one is shorter with hair so blonde it’s almost white. His eyes are narrowed on me, apparently not sharing the same strange affection for me as the other wolf.

“This is the only surviving child of the chief’s family,” My friend tells him.

His brow crinkles in confusion, “They have another son?”

My hand goes up and runs through my now short wavy hair, I imagine I resemble Insoo more than ever. I’m honestly baffled that he bought it so easily, maybe this could work.

“I will explain later, right now we need to finish this before someone comes to check up on us.” With that he pulls out a sword as black as night and holds it out to me. I hesitate but he doesn’t give me another moments before shoving it in my hands.

“Do I really have to do this?”

Him and the other man share a look, “No, you don’t have to, but…”

“But what?”

“Your option is killing them or me killing all of you.”

My grip on the sword tightens, my mouth moves on its own, speaking the words that have been circling in my head, “I don’t want to die.”

“And you don’t have to,” The hopefulness in his voice is obvious, “But they will.”

“But I’m scared,” I cry, “I don’t know if I can kill someone.”

The alphas half-heartedly chuckle, “This is a great time to figure out if you can but I can only give you a few more moments to figure it out.”

I nod, “Think I can do this.”

There is a faint smile on his face, “Good.”

“Hands steady,” The alpha tells me from where he stands over my shoulder. His large hands hover over mine, ready to finish the job if I can’t.

The job.

I find myself crazy for already being able to detach from the situation so fast, this isn’t a job. This is murdering my own parents, this price of my life. The alpha had told me parents always beg for their child’s life, they tell their son to just do it and get if over with so the son can live on instead of dying with them. But from the way he told me I assume my parents didn’t do the same. The look in my mother’s eyes tells me it too.

Her eyes tell me more than a mother should let on. Their narrowness say the most, they tell me she’s angry. That she hates me, more now in this moment than she ever did. I want to think it’s because I’m going to end her life but I know it’s more than that, there has to be more than that.

“Draw up,” He advises, coming up closer behind me and placing his hands over my own. Strong hands guide mine up then down in one fast motion, making my mouth flinch. The alpha steps away, “Just like that, okay?”

I take a deep breath, “I’m not sure I can do this.” Not looking them in the eye, staring into nothing but disappointment.

“You can do this! You are an alpha!” He reminds me.

I can do it.

I can do it.

I can do it.

The sword goes up, I close my eyes tight, the sword comes down. My mother is screaming, crying at the loss of her mate. My eyes open. The man I call my father is on the floor, blood spilling from the gash on his chest, eyes closed as if in a restful sleep. I look to my mother, she is staring at my father as if I’m not in the room, like I don’t even exist, like how it always is. I don’t wait for her to look up at me, the sword goes up.

It comes down.

It’s out of my hands, clattering on the floor, drowning in the blood that is pooling in front of me. The alpha is in front of me too, pulling me into a tight hug. “You can cry if you want,” He tells me with my face buried in his shoulder.

“Hyung,” The other alpha questions.

“One last chance,” He speaks as if the other isn’t there, “One last chance before you won’t be able to show any weakness. We don’t have long remember, now get it out,” His voice is soft as he pats my back, urging my tears to come. They do. My fingers cling to the back of his shirt as tears begin pouring from eyes. “You can let them go,” He says to the open air.

I look up at him, “Let who go?”

The men once again share a look, “Everyone. Your whole family is gone.”

“My brothers? Where are my brothers?” I question, gripping his shirt tighter.

“Gone.”

“Gone?”

He nods, “They got away but will most likely be caught by our soldiers waiting near the edge of the territory.”

“Can’t we save them?”

He shakes his head, “Runaways are killed on sight, we are probably too late already.”

More tears threaten to fall, “So I’m all alone?”

“No!” The alpha answers quickly, “You have us! What did I tell you in there?”

“We are pack,” I answer.

“That’s right, we are pack, we are family.”


Sorry if this isn’t very good, I’m going to bed…

Originally posted by taecupwithsuga

Please don't slam Disney and/or Andi Mack

Can I just say how much I appreciate Disney channel for actually pioneering and conveying such a meaningful message to the world of both adults and children? I remember being a naive 9 year old girl, confused about my sexuality, feeling inferior and ‘abnormal’, because what I felt was not considered ‘valid’. I remember thinking that I was weird and the only one that was not straight, because back in the day homosexual couples/people were hardly ever shown on the screen. There were close to non gay role models that could inspire me and make me understand that it is okay to feel this way. I felt utterly lost and tried to refrain myself from being who I truly was, constantly hiding at this comfort zone of seeming straight to the world. But now, thousands, if not millions, of kids don’t have to live in the same fear I lived in. With Cyrus - a 13 year old boy - coming in terms with his sexuality, and later coming out to his best friends, they basically created someone who children of the LGBTQ+ community can relate to. They won’t have to feel alone anymore, because they aren’t, they won’t have to feel unloved anymore, or strange and worthless, because they certainly are not. Andi Mack showed that no matter your sexuality, there will be some people who will support you, some that won’t, but in the end everything will be okay and you’ll have to live for that moment when you’ll be accepted and be yourself. So, to those parents who prohibited their own children from watching Andi Mack due to the fact of its containing an innocent gay storyline, let me ask you this: Would you prefer your child growing up suicidal and feeling worthless or growing up knowing that there are millions of people like them all around the world, and it’s okay to feel a certain way?

Love is love people. Stop putting boundaries in love.

anonymous asked:

i roll my eyes every time i see the "if peter knew the whole story he'd be so HORRIFIED!! he'd leave tony and be team cap!!" and like... are you telling me that the orphaned peter who's probably only recently lost uncle ben too would just REFUSE to understand Tony's reaction to the video AND BLAME him for reacting that way and also hate him for it like SERIOUSLY HOW???

LMAO DO THEY FORGET THE CANON OF WHAT SPIDERMAN DID AFTER HIS UNCLE WAS MURDERED??? 

Literally Peter HUNTS DOWN his uncle’s murderer, wanting to avenge his uncle’s death, and only lets the man walk away alive out of pure shock when he realizes that this man was the same man he let walk away from a burglary a few hours prior. Like, son, Peter parker had THE SAME FUCKING REACTION TONY DID. 

Hell, the burglar later dies of a heart attack when he tries to rob Aunt May and Peter stops him, making the dude realize Peter and Spiderman were one and the same (in the comics they make it sounds as if the mad died due to being terrified so like…) 

Peter would never ever ever in a fucking MILLION years blame Tony for his reaction, nor would he be okay with Steve lying? l i k e 

  • Yang: I'm telling you Blake! I SAW IT! An actual fucking RAPTOR!
  • Blake: Sigh, Yang, babe. Aside from that being impossible do to the fact that Raptors have been extinct for millions of years, it the middle of winter. The raptor would be in hibernation or would die from the cold.
  • Yang: But
  • Blake: Nope. No more about this raptor Now get ready. I'm only wearing this dress for our date because you can't stop drooling over me in.
  • Yang: *Smirk.* Can you blame me? Its not everything day I get to see my goddess in a dress that goes so will with her booty.
  • Blake: When till we get back and you'll see what I have underneath.
  • Yang: God I love you.
  • ~Later~
  • Blake: I'm going to get us some funnel-cake, okay?
  • Yang: Aw yeah! You're the best, Blakely. I love you! *kiss*
  • Blake: Hehe, Love you too. *Blake walks to the street vendor.* Excuse me, Can I get some... Funnel...
  • Rex: *In front of Blake in the vendor stand was a Raptor wearing a small paper hat staring at her as she stared back in shock.* ...
  • Blake: ...
  • Rex: ...
  • Blake: ...
  • Rex: ... *Slides a funnel-cake to Blake.*
  • Blake: ... Th-thank you...*slowly takes the funnel-cake, pays for it, and walks back to Yang.*
  • Yang: Ooooh it looks so good thank you Blake... Uh, You okay Blakey? *Yang asked seeing the confused mixed with shock look on her girlfriend.*
  • Blake: I... I think I... Nevermind you won't bel-
  • Raven: HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE YOU OVERGROWN LIZARD!? *Blake and Yang heard, both turning around to find Raven angerly pointing at Rex.*
  • Blake: ...
  • Yang: ... I FUCK'IN TOLD YOU!
Bundle of Positive Emotions 8

(AO3)

“He wants us to get married?” Marinette looked at her partner with wide eyes, glad now that he waited until she had sat to tell her what had happened at the Agreste Mansion.  Marinette wasn’t exactly opposed to the idea of getting married to Adrien.  In fact it was a fantasy of hers for several years now.  It was just she hadn’t expected it to happen quite like this.

Adrien shook his head.  “No no, not get married.  Engaged.”

“Engaged to be married!” She pointed out. She felt a little panicked.  Confessing to Adrien that he was the father had been hard.  Finding out he was her trusted partner Chat Noir had been surprising. Marinette wasn’t sure if she was ready for this, it had only been two days!

“Look, we can worry about whether or not we want to get married later.  The engagement is to protect you,” Adrien tried to explain. It was obvious to Marinette he was trying to be calm, and just as obvious he was anything but.  

“Later,” she repeated softly, wondering if that meant maybe he would like to.  That wasn’t the point of the discussion and she tried to push it away. “Okay, so assuming I agree to this what do we do?”

It never occurred to Marinette in a million years she would be standing in front of Adrien’s mother’s jewelry box. No, not box. Cabinet? Dresser? She wasn’t exactly sure what to call it. It was like being a kid in a candy store however. She looked at the necklaces, bracelets, rings and earrings in wonder.

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It’s not about whether I deserve you or you deserve me. It’s just what it is. Destiny says we’re going to be falling out of the sky and spend the next 55 years practicing the timing for the parachute opening. It predicts we will crash a million times before we get the landing just right, which is not to say we weren’t meant for each other but that there’s a “later” in our path.  I mean, we might not even get it right as ghosts or thousands of lifetimes from now & that’s okay. I like thinking we followed the wrong breadcrumbs and we have years to backtrack. To try again. But my mother thinks that’s how everything was made: through trying times, through a gazillion lovers crashing into the earth time after time to make space for all the things we call oceans and valleys and hills and life. And you know what? I still believe her.

anonymous asked:

A bit sad but... Mtmte megatron in his early warlord days getting confused and hurt when the younglings and sparklings of those he swore at first to liberate, start to cry and shake when they see him. Their fearful eyes haunt him a million years later in his nightmares on the lost light. Just him remembering how afraid they were of him. During a video chat with optimus he admits to this. But the autobot reassure him that what he was isnt who he is now, and that he believes in him.

That’s so sad omfg!  ;____;

A Sick Lance Post

First it was pale skin, verging on the colour of grey. Then the red rimmed eyes and the deep purple bags beneath them accompanied by a wet, shattering cough. Next came the shaking, constantly wracking his body, affecting his ability to hold even a spoon. Now theres also a loss of thought, everything became… fuzzy whilst his head was spinning during any movement. The disease just kept progressing. 

Lance, for the third time in the last 5 minutes, was in the midst of a violent coughing spree, the small amounts of blood splattered on his hand making him frown anxiously. It had only been five days. The disease had set in. The disease had overcome. Now it seemed that the disease would take. It had turned out that neither Coran or Allura knew what his symptoms meant with none of the Paladins being able to identify it either. That lead to quarantine. He couldn’t move from the bed he was currently sitting in and he couldn’t simply hug his second family for what may be the last time. Perhaps he couldn’t admit it to anyone but he yearned for human touch. His mama’s hugs, so warm, tight and enveloping, like a safe spot were he couldn’t be harmed. For his younger siblings sitting as close to him as possible whilst he listened to their stories,adoring their excited faces. For his elder siblings who, when it came down to it, would tuck him into bed or punch his arm playfully as they laughed about almost anything. He wanted his Earth family and his Space family and for the first time, he had neither. 

As if allowed a last saving grace, Lance heard a voice crackling over intercom. It was Mullet, Mullet was, for the first time since his quarantine, speaking to him. The voice was quieter than usual and Lance wasn’t sure if Keith was speaking quieter or if the ringing in his ears blocked the noise. For a few moments he lost focus, the sound of Keith’s voice lulling him into safety, into a lose train of thought. 

The sobbing was what brought him back. Every few words said Lance could hear a small sob, a small pause, a small voice crack. It made his own heart ache knowing someone was more than likely crying over him when he couldn’t do anything to help. Not able to make out the Keith’s words any longer, Lance hacked and hacked once again. Throat on fire and lungs that didn’t seem to work properly, head spinning as he leaned forward in an attempt to relieve the pain in his chest. Leaning back down and curling into a ball he whimpered pitifully as he clutched his his knees to his chest and fell into a fitful sleep. 

To Keith it was clear Lance either didn’t hear what he was saying or didn’t return the sentiment as he pleaded for the Blue Paladin to just hold on for a little longer. As he pleaded for Lance to stay with him. For Lance to pull through because he wanted, no needed, to see that small, quirky smile Lance gave him when he issued a challenge and those deep blue eyes to be lit up with happiness once again. Because… because he wanted Lance and he wanted Lance to be okay even if he didn’t want him. 

Lance’s makeshift heart monitor flatlined only two hours later.

-Kae

(Finally after 50 million years I have written something! I’ve been really busy and stuck in a curse of writers block for a bit so I have to to thank the wonderful Ana for the suggestion, I hope it was sad enough!)

Camping Trip - Chapter Four

Disclaimer: Fiction.

Warnings: None for this chapter.

Tagging: @hazeleyedleto    @devorahlynn    @msroxyblog    @snewsome756    @meghan12151977    @teggles07    @maliciousalishious    @sanellv    @ambolton @jayded-dreams @bradlea23

Notes: Feedback is always welcome. <3

Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three

Chapter Four

I was struggling with the shopping bags, trying to open the front door to the apartment. The phone buzzing in my pants wasn’t helping either. I held the bags with one hand, turning the key in the lock and opening the door. I entered the apartment, kicking the door closed and heading to the kitchen, placing the shopping bags there and fishing the cellphone out of my pocket. One missed call: Shannon.

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