a melancholy soul


Décadence de l’âme - 2018

Me he perdido
En la representación de un mundo en que no encajo.

Lo veo,
Rompiendo contra la corriente que lo arrastra todo.

Y lo ves,
Luna, silente testiga
Sabiéndome culpable del crimen
entre las olas
a no otra alma más que la mía propia.

“Tristeza, fiel adversaria que abraza con amor de madre La condena que me impones será también la tuya Ligados para siempre en este eterno y amargo cortejo Forjaremos juntos el arte imposible a los bienaventurados.” Ricardo Gabelo Lara

My rapidograph illustrations are the ones I treasure the most. I always finish/start the year doing one of them. Because they take a longer time to be done, I get to have a more conscious process, which in a way lets me get to know myself more. Anyhow, I’m doing a colored version of this later on. I’m really proud of the overall process of my work, and forward is the only direction I can keep going towards. ♥

Have you ever considered, beloved other, how invisible we are to each other? We look at each other without seeing. We listen to each other and hear only a voice inside our self. The words of others are mistakes of our hearing, shipwrecks of our understanding. How confidently we believe OUR meanings of other people’s words.
—  Fernando Pessoa
Oldies - Soulful 🎶☀️, a playlist on Spotify
Wake up and sing the blues, jazz and soul.

In a sentimental mood. I can see the stars come through my room.

  1. All I Could Do Was Cry – Etta James
  2. In A Sentimental Mood – Ella Fitzgerald
  3. If I Had You – Etta Jones
  4. I’m a Fool to Want You – Billie Holiday
  5. I Put A Spell On You – Nina Simone
  6. Drown In My Own Tears – Ray Charles
  7. La vie en rose – Édith Piaf
  8. What A Diff'rence A Day Made – Dinah Washington
  9. True Love Ways – Buddy Holly
  10. L-O-V-E – Nat King Cole
  11. C'est si bon – Eartha Kitt
  12. At Last - Single Version – Etta James
  13. Every Little Bit Hurts – Aretha Franklin
  14. Feeling Good – Nina Simone
  15. Fine And Mellow – Billie Holiday
  16. Stormy Weather – Etta James
  17. I’m Making Believe – Ella Fitzgerald, The Ink Spots
  18. You’re My Thrill – Billie Holiday, Gordon Jenkins And Orchestra
  19. Respect – Aretha Franklin
  20. Danny Boy – Andy Williams
  21. The Way You Look Tonight – Frank Sinatra
  22. Unforgettable – Nat King Cole
  23. A Sunday Kind Of Love – Etta James
  24. Strange Fruit – Billie Holiday
  25. To Be Loved – Jackie Wilson
  26. I’ve Got A Crush On You – Frank Sinatra, Barbra Streisand
  27. April In Paris – Ella Fitzgerald, Louis Armstrong
  28. A Love Of My Own – Carla Thomas
  29. These Boots Are Made For Walkin’ – Nancy Sinatra
  30. Think – Aretha Franklin
  31. I’ve Got You Under My Skin – Frank Sinatra
  32. Non, je ne regrette rien – Édith Piaf
  33. They Can’t Take That Away From Me – Ella Fitzgerald, Louis Armstrong
  34. Town Without Pity – Gene Pitney
  35. I Just Want To Make Love To You – Etta James
  36. My Baby Just Cares For Me – Nina Simone
  37. Wait ‘Till You See Him – Nancy Sinatra
  38. Come Fly With Me – Frank Sinatra
  39. It’s Only A Paper Moon – Ella Fitzgerald, The Delta Rhythm Boys
  40. I’ll Be Seeing You – Billie Holiday
  41. I’ve Been Lovin’ You Too Long – Etta James
  42. La foule – Édith Piaf
  43. I’ll Always Leave The Door A Little Open – Lena Horne
  44. Whatever Will Be, Will Be (Que Sera, Sera) – Doris Day
  45. Georgia On My Mind – Ray Charles
  46. Dream A Little Dream Of Me – Ella Fitzgerald, Louis Armstrong
  47. Sugar Town – Nancy Sinatra
  48. Nobody Knows You When You’re Down and Out – Bessie Smith
  49. Theme From New York, New York – Frank Sinatra
  50. Lady Sings The Blues – Billie Holiday
  51. Girl Of My Dreams - Single Version – Etta James
  52. It’s Love – Lena Horne
  53. The Nearness Of You – Ella Fitzgerald, Louis Armstrong
  54. But Beautiful – Billie Holiday
  55. Something’s Got A Hold On Me – Etta James
  56. Jump For Joy – Sarah Vaughan
  57. My Way – Frank Sinatra
  58. You Only Live Twice – Nancy Sinatra
  59. Over The Rainbow – Judy Garland
  60. I’d Rather Go Blind – Etta James
  61. Black Coffee – Sarah Vaughan
  62. Can’t Help Lovin’ Dat Man – Lena Horne
  63. Somethin’ Stupid – Frank Sinatra, Nancy Sinatra
  64. God Bless The Child – Billie Holiday
  65. Puttin’ On The Ritz – Judy Garland
  66. Summertime – Louis Armstrong, Ella Fitzgerald
  67. Need a Little Sugar in My Bowl – Bessie Smith
  68. The Man I Love – Lena Horne, Lou Bring
  69. The Blues Ain’t Nothin’ But A Woman Cryin’ For Her Man – Dinah Washington, Malcolm Addey
  70. Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down) – Nancy Sinatra
  71. The Lady Is A Tramp – Lena Horne
  72. You Make Me Feel So Young – Frank Sinatra
  73. Gimme a Pigfoot and a Bottle of Beer – Bessie Smith
  74. Is You Is Or Is You Ain’t My Baby – Dinah Washington
  75. You Don’t Own Me – Lesley Gore
  76. Signing Off – Sarah Vaughan
  77. Get Happy/Happy Days Are Here Again – Barbra Streisand, Judy Garland
  78. Blues In the Night – Ella Fitzgerald
  79. I Wanna Be Around – Lena Horne
  80. Cry Me a River – Ella Fitzgerald
  81. Lover Man – Billie Holiday
  82. Someone To Watch Over Me – Ella Fitzgerald
  83. Key Largo – Sarah Vaughan
  84. Something He Can Feel – Aretha Franklin
  85. Signing Off – Sarah Vaughan
  86. Half Heaven - Half Heartache – Gene Pitney
  87. Mean to Me – Sarah Vaughan
  88. Summer Wine – Nancy Sinatra
  89. Santa Baby – Eartha Kitt, Henri Rene & His Orchestra
  90. Embraceable You – Frank Sinatra, Lena Horne
  91. Tenderly – Sarah Vaughan
  92. Empty Bed Blues, Pt. 1 – Bessie Smith
  93. The Lady Is a Tramp – Ella Fitzgerald
  94. On A Wonderful Day Like Today – Lena Horne
  95. Bye Bye Blackbird – Etta Jones
  96. I Got It Bad And That Ain’t Good – Lena Horne
  97. Devil’s Gonna Git You – Bessie Smith
  98. Nobody Knows The Way I Feel This Morning – Dinah Washington, Malcolm Addey
  99. Je Cherche Un Homme – Eartha Kitt
  100. St. Louis Blues – Bessie Smith, Louis Armstrong
  101. Don’t Go To Strangers – Etta Jones
  102. Drinking Again – Dinah Washington
  103. Fool That I Am – Etta James
  104. Fever – Peggy Lee
  105. Gloomy Sunday – Billie Holiday, Teddy Wilson
  106. The Masquerade Is Over – Nancy Wilson, Cannonball Adderley
  107. 'Deed I Do – Blossom Dearie
  108. Since I Fell For You – Etta Jones
  109. I Fall In Love Too Easily - Vocal – Chet Baker
  110. My One And Only Love – John Coltrane, Johnny Hartman
  111. Buckin’ The Dice – Fats Waller
  112. Cheek To Cheek – Ella Fitzgerald, Louis Armstrong
  113. When Your Lover Has Gone – Ben Webster, Oscar Peterson
  114. Mister Sandman – The Chordettes
  115. Mood Indigo – Louis Armstrong, Duke Ellington
  116. Enjoy Yourself - It’s Later Than You Think – Guy Lombardo
  117. My Funny Valentine – Chet Baker
  118. Ain’t Misbehavin’ – Fats Waller
  119. Coquette – Guy Lombardo
  120. Ain’t Misbehavin’ – Zutty Singleton, Fats Waller
  121. Moonlight Serenade – Jan Savitt, Carlotta Dale
  122. My Very Good Friend the Milkman – Fats Waller
  123. Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy – The Andrews Sisters
  124. Mele Kalikimaka - Single Version – Bing Crosby, The Andrews Sisters
  125. I’m Beginning To See The Light – Ella Fitzgerald, The Ink Spots
Anime basics: You and I

Why you shouldn’t use your anime Japanese in real life

Language, and the way it conveys the relationship between characters, is endlessly fascinating. In Japanese, specifically, *everything* means something. What an anime character calls someone is important, but even how they talk about themselves has meaning.

You see, there’s no simple ‘I’ or 'you’ in Japanese.

That would be too easy.

Boku, ore, anata, watashi, omae and kimi

Japanese has several different words for 'I’ and 'you’, each applicable in different circumstances. The same way that characters pick and choose between calling each other Ya-chan or Sousuke-kun, their pronouns also have meaning. In a way this is a continuation of my honorifics post from a while back. Putting both of them together adds extra layers of meaning in relationships between people and helps in understanding how that character sees themselves in the world.

Keep reading

high school horrors

i actually love that suburban high school aesthetic. brimming with reveries & teenage dreams. 

  • those elegant-vampiric redbrick school buildings, three-hundred-years old with shielded pasts, sophisticated gates that squeak and creak like old floorboards or wounded warblers when wrenched open, a vast lawn for spilling blood & dirty secrets after class.
  • school libraries and how they always smell like steam-cleaned carpet, old paper and anxiety, getting lost in a particularly dense section, being hushed by the stern-eyed librarian, lullaby-inducing & packed with centuries of burning knowledge it is the most comforting room in the entire school building (as long as you avoid one certain section). 
  • the nostalgia of a hundred sneakers squeaking against the recently polished floors, lockers slamming open and closed, the indistinct chatter of jittery voices all buzzed up on something or the other, sheets ruffling, bodies slamming into one another, the prideful chorus of a school anthem pouring out of the throats of overexcited cheerleaders.
  • passing notes to your friends in class, pens tapping against wooden desks, the way the girl sitting behind you’s laughter runs downstream and the boy who talks to no-one, always looking like he’s hiding something.
  • disembodied voices coming from the bathroom, various bright and persuasive posters encouraging you to join various clubs tacked up everywhere, the theatre a ramp of glitter & deception, post-it notes stuck to skin & gum clinging to the soles of your shoes.
  • the malicious rumors that flitter at lightspeed frequencies and build up like bed bugs, slip into every nook & cranny like dust, how the janitor once found a body in the broom closet and the history teacher’s into the dark arts, how all the staff gather after-school hours in the gym to perform satanic rituals, how someone once broke into the principal’s office only to find it covered in caution tape.
  • breaking into the school at night, hearing soft chanting like the distant mewling of traffic, a parking lot as sullen as the deteriorating gleam in every student’s eyes, the ghost of a little boy rounding the corner, a prophecy engraved into stone and the hellhouse graffiti lining some of the walls. 
  • the clausterphobic feeling of a thousand trapped teenage souls, melancholy and raging anger sprawling from the ceilings and leaking out through the taps, setting off the fire-alarm accidentally, attending an exam you thought you’d taken a bunch of times already, staring out the window because you thought you caught a shadow flicker by during detention, the man on the speaker announcing yet another prom or pep rally bloodbath.