I thought I should do a little update as this account is still getting a lot of recognition and attention since I’ve been gone, and I really appreciate all the lovely messages people have sent about how they relate to things; I’m so glad this could help people who are poly explore their relationships further.
Currently, our relationship is not a triad for a number of reasons. I can’t speak for the other lovely people who were a part of it but my understanding is that it isn’t the right time for us right now as we are all battling our own demons and committing to a complicated relationship dynamic would make working on ourselves harder.
However, that being said there is absolutely no negative feelings between any of us at all and we still very much love and miss J. When we do see each other that intimacy, care and closeness won’t being effected but labeling/committing is something that isn’t an option right now. But to be honest, I just want what’s best for J and just want them to be happy. I still love her so very deeply and we talk all the time and I still think of her as my girlfriend, but the pressure of a relationship isn’t right and also it was an unfair dynamic as me and P live together and J doesn’t so it wasn’t equal.
I do recognize that a lot of the issues in the relationship were caused by me and my mental health, so in a way I think this is also good for me as it’s been a real wake up call on the things I need to work on myself and how this effects my relationships. If we ever do try this again as a proper thing then there are definitely so many things I have learnt from this experience and would do better/differently. But being poly is a real complex thing sometimes and does take a lot of work on yourself to make everyone happy and I think now I know that I’m really changing in a positive way and J is making amazing strides in themself and I’m so proud of her and P and me are working together to encourage happiness and health so things are still really positive between us all and quite possibly more healthy than things were before.
I don’t know what the future holds for us as a triad or as individuals, all I know is that I have a extreme love and care and respect for these two people and we will see how things go and what feels right for all of us. I’ll still be active on this account, so messages and stuff won’t be ignored. Much love to you all!