a lot of tally marks

Inhuman Escape...and Escapades

Context: So we’re non-humans and we and our animal companions were kidnapped by human slavers. The Gnome is a Druid and has a wolf companion. One Drow is a Marshal, another Drow is a Sorcerer with a Bat. And me the DM is playing the Halfling Rogue. Here are some excerpts from the game

—with the halfling and sorcerer—
Halfling Rogue: “Pssst! Over here… you awake yet?”
Drow Sorc OOC: “….I cast faerie fire…on this fork I found.”
DM: “You see what appears to be a young child in a cell near you.”
DM: “Roll to see if you’ve ever see a halfling before.”
Drow Sorc: *does, and fails so…* “What’s a kid doing in here?”
Halfling Rogue: “…..I’m not a kid, I’m a halfling.”

—with the gnome and marshal—
Gnome Druid
: “Hey Guard, what’s your name?”
Guard: “……Nate”
Gnome Druid: “Hey guy in the cell next to me, what’s your name?”
Drow Marshal: “Jevin…
Guard: "Are you high? Do you ever stop talking?”
Gnome Druid: “Well I did have some mushrooms…” *keeps talking and ends up distracting the guard so he doesn’t hear the lock being picked open*

—somehow the song All Star by Smashmouth came up… —
Drow Marshal: “You don’t know it? It’s a Drow classic. You’ve never watched Shrek? You’re so uncultured…”
Gnome Druid: “….You should sing it for me!”
Drow Marshal: *my time has come!* *sings it so soulfully they don’t realize the gnome opened their cell too, and crit knocked out the guard’s head on the table and into a knife he had in hand*

—they come to a door—
Gnome Druid OOC: “Lorenthro would like to open the door”
DM: “Your wolf does not have opposable thumbs"
Gnome Druid OOC: “Well don’t tell him that"

—while fighting the guards Bill and Joel—
Drow Sorcerer OOC: “I want Mortemer to attack”
DM: “Bats have no attack….but there’s popcorn on that table he can throw.”

—a little later—
DM: “First person to come up with a good rude and racist towards Drow insult for this guy to call you guys gets 10XP”
Drow Sorc: *covers the ears of the children (gnome and halfling) once the insult has been said*

—once Bill and Joel are dead—
Drow Marshal: “Can I eat him? I mean, the wolf is…”
Gnome Druid: “Sorrell don’t judge.” *talking in third person*
Halfling Rogue: “Here.” *sees a bag of salt and tosses it at the guy, and a sack*
Drow Marshal: *takes the whole arm and salts it*
DM: “You now have 8 pounds worth of rations.”

—while I, the DM, reads out the treasure list in the treasure room—
DM: “…There’s also a moonstone stuck in the chain link of a small sized chain shirt.”
Gnome Druid OOC: “Mine!”
Gnome Druid OOC: “Lorenthro would like to take the (masterwork great)axe”
DM: “Lorenthro is your wolf"
Gnome Druid OOC: “I know that"
DM: “Looking around a little more, you find a beautiful comb…”
Drow Marshal OOC: “I’ll take that”
DM: “…with inlaid moonstones… there’s a small depression where there was obviously another gem, possibly a moonstone.”
*Gnome Druid and Drow Marshal stare at each other and try to trade for the full thing with each other*
DM: “Meanwhile, Marcil, you find Alchemist’s Fire, 2 flasks. You can throw fire at people now.”
Drow Sorcerer OOC: Cool!

—after finding a way out and rummaging through a bookshelf and finding a list of races and a LOT of tally marks next to each race—
Drow Marshal OOC: About how many tally marks are here?
DM: Over 800, at least 80 are Drow
Drow Marshal: “I’m going back in to kill Nate.”
DM: “The moment you head for the trapdoor back inside, an exceptionally beautiful man with an army of reptilians and elves bursts through the front door to the cabin….after talking with you all, he sends people down the trapdoor to kill Nate and any other humans they find.”

anonymous asked:

"Hey, have you seen the... Oh" with sister and wash and tucker?

“Hey, guys,” Tucker asks, walking into the living room, “Have you seen the…oh.”

Wash is stretched out on the floor on his stomach, in the sunlight. Kaikaina is straddling his back, pen in hand and pen cap held between her teeth. It’s not the strangest thing he’s walked in on, but it might be in the top five.

“What are you doing?” Tucker asks.

“Countin’ freckles,” Kaikaina says. She flips the pen cap from one side of her mouth to the other thoughtfully.

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