a lot of disturbing things



"It's a fun feast, everyone gather together" - Arario Hansol's lyrics part

So today our cute, funny, adorable, dork, sexy Hansolie celebrates his 22 years old. I wish you health, happiness and strength so that we, toppklass, can see you grow in your artistic career and as a person. Never forget the amazing and talented person you are. Let's congratulate Kim Hansol because he deserves. We love you and wish you a bright future. Fighting! Happy birthday Hansol.

Conception Connection is a fantastic (and potentially emotionally scarring) online playtoy in which you insert your birth date then look on in horror as it calculates your conception date and the significant historical events that may of caused your parents to get it on.

Be warned, the stakes are pretty high – nobody likes to think of their parents having sex, but things get a whole lot more disturbing when you find out it may be mass murder that gets your parents aroused!

Feeling Brave? Play Conception Connection, Free (Browser)

The truth around Fluttering India

So fluttering India has started already and it seems alright. BUT, one thing disturbed me a lot and that was the portrayal of the kpop scene in India. tbh,i was disheartened to see suho and minho roaming around the gateway of India inquiring people if they knew what kpop was. Well, fellas guess what INDIA does know bout it and our idols would have noticed dat too if the fans were not restricted and allowed to meet them. what u see is  one girl meeting the idols,what i recall is fans crying in distance bec. they were restricted. AND to hell with the reports saying India has only 300 fans.more like 300,300 fans.props to the girl justifying that Mumbai alone has 2000+ kpoppers.

The following is an open letter from the admins of indian kpop fanclub. I found it on soompi comments uploaded by user boice22 -

Feb 5, 2015

Hi guys! This is the true story of what happened at the airport! Please try and spread it!!

From the admins of India Korea Friends, Mumbai (IKFM)

For the record, we are an independent group of a little more than 300 members. (that is Mumbai, Maharashtra, and neighboring states)

There is lot of conjecture going around about what happened at the airport relating to the arrival of KYULINE.
Here is our account of the matter.
When we found out about Kyuline first coming to India to shoot for Fluttering India, we all were very excited. And when it was announced that they were going to be in our very own Mumbai, we went crazy. A few sites reported they would arrive on 5th, and a few 2nd of Feb.
So we started planning fan projects. We made this page for that very purpose. We didn’t have much time to plan anything.
And then we got the news that the PD did not want us to be there at the airport to welcome the idols. That we couldn’t give them gifts, that if we saw them shooting, we should just behave like we did not know who they were. Yes we were told to stay away from the airport. The message was passed on to almost every Indian kpop fan pages through various sources. It was said that the production team is here to shoot for Fluttering India and the shooting process would be disrupted if fans were on the scene. And that if they saw fans on the scene they would stop the shooting and move on to another location.
For a fandom that has waited for years to be acknowledged on the world Kpop map, this was the most devastating news for fans all over the country. However we decided to be patient as we were hoping this is just the start of Kpop stars coming to India. We did not know the concept of the show, but seeing the description on the various websites, it was said the idols would interact with the locals. Aren’t we locals?
A couple of days before they actually arrived there was lots of misinformation going around about the idols flight details. There was even a post by another fan page K-pop India Fans quote “The Idols will be arriving in Aurangabad airport… The flight from Incheon to Aurangabad takes about 6hrs n 57 mins… We wish the Boiz safe and pleasant flight… And may their stay in India be enjoyable and memorable.”

We got the news on 1st Feb 2015 afternoon, that the idols were arriving anytime that night or morning. By then we were getting questions from everywhere whether we would be going to welcome them or not. The younger members wanted to go. There were fans from out of town who were waiting for confirmation so they could come to Mumbai. By evening an international fan had tweeted that Kyuline had left from Seoul on their way to Mumbai. We arrived at the airport from 9p.m onwards. By then an international fan had tweeted that Kyuline had left from Seoul on their way to Mumbai.
The kids checked the arrivals screen every half an hour. Somewhere close to the morning, a fan from Singapore tweeted that they are at Changi airport. We then knew they were going to arrive around 11.a.m on 2nd feb 2015.
At the time of arrival, there were 20 fans, including fans that are not in our fangroup. There were hardly any flights arriving so there wasn’t much crowd at the airport. We stood at the barricade. We weren’t noisy. The kids had their camera’s out. That’s when the PD walked around behind us, saw us, called us to her, and said we could not be there. We were being asked to leave.
With all due respect, the PD was not rude to us. There were 2 interpreters present. One a Korean lady who was very cooperative, and an Indian man who was very rude. The Pd spoke in Korean and this was being translated by the interpreters. We assured the Pd that the kids would not disrupt the shoot. We asked the kids to put away their cameras and anything else they had to show they were kpop fans, and they complied. One of the fans was wearing a KyuHyun Tshirt. The Indian male interpreter, very rudely pointed to her, and said “That Tshirt, that will not do. Take off the tshirt. All of you take off the Tshirts.” Those were his exact words. Did he expect us to roam around topless? This was when the fans anger started to rise. And some started arguing with them. We calmed them down. We were then asked to delete the posts on our page where we informed our fans that the PD did not want us to come to the airport. And also not to post any pictures of the arrivals, till after they left the country. We were also informed that there could be an opportunity to meet the idols at the time of departure and that we would be informed about it.
Then we were told to spread around the barricade and not look like fans but pretend we were waiting for someone. We did as told. There were Korean security guys roaming behind us. Some did peer over our shoulder to look if we were filming with our phones. But they did not ask to check our phones, nor did they check our bags as reported by some sites. We wouldn’t have let that happen. They were very decent and did not even speak to us.
KYuline stepped out of the doors. Choi Minho looked around with disbelief. His expression showed he was wondering as to where the fans were. The others too looked like they didn’t expect this. They walked out to the exit towards the car park and that was the last we seen of them. Most of the fans broke down crying.
We read that the PD said that we met with the idols and got autographs. That is an absolute lie. We did not get to within 20 feet of them. The fans who met them were not a part of our group at the airport and they met them at restaurants around the city. Their posts are all over twitter.

Later in the day, when one of our members posted on her own timeline on facebook to vent out her frustration about the event, someone took a screenshot and put it up on social media sites, and it went viral. The contents of her post was used out of context and misinterpreted. She never said our phones or bags were checked. “The crew was looking into our phones to see if we had the cameras on or not.” By that she meant they were looking over our shoulders.
This is an absolute honest account of what went on at the airport.
We decided to shut down this page because it was pointless to have a fan project page if there was not going to be any.
We are back to clarify what happened as the rumours are getting out of hand and this incident is being blown out of proportion.
We haven’t been asked by anyone to make this post. We are doing this of our own accord to set the record straight.


i hate positivity posts and i’m not a big fan of the people that always seem to have a new “friendly reminder” every few days, to inform us ignorant internet dwellers that everything under the sun is “valid” and that we “are loved”, characteristically thrown together in such a way that guarantees the most notes (often followed with numerous self-reblogs and a push for everyone to “signal boost” because it’s important that we bring attention to the issues almost as much as bringing attention to the original post/poster!), BUT i have said it before and i will say it again, i have struggled with ocd all my life and it wasn’t even until adulthood that i knew what intrusive thoughts really were and that not every one had my symptoms, which up to that point had simply been part of every day life for me, so i know how disturbing a lot of these things can be and how hard it is to talk about them to people that maybe don’t quite understand.

it’s very difficult for many of us to admit that we deal with these things because it’s not something that can be neatly packaged as some “aesthetic”, instead being often violent and/or disturbing. it’s not something that is easily romanticized, beyond the conflation of ocd with the mild frustration of having the volume level set at 19 instead of 20, so it’s not covered much on here and that further contributes to the seemingly hostile atmosphere when it comes to being open about these things.

those of us with ocd deal with a lot of shit that most people don’t even know about because if we talked about it we would be thrown out of our social groups and perhaps even directed (with or without our knowledge and/or consent) toward law enforcement as a potential threat to ourselves and others. i have talked about my own experiences in the past (although i have often skimmed over the details), and i will continue to do so whenever i feel i can do it safely, or must if it’s what is called for at a particular moment.

we’ve got some fucked up things going on in our heads and many of us find it hard to seek help or talk about what we go through. some of us don’t even know anything is wrong, assuming it’s perfectly normal and perhaps not even knowing the different between these thoughts and actual desires. some of us obsess and cope in ways that people react to negatively, and i grew up getting made fun of in school for my repetitive movements and wound up in trouble multiple times for being labeled a distraction in the classroom. the only thing i knew about ocd was from watching monk as a kid and that certainly didn’t sound like what i was going through or provide me with the vocabulary to justify my actions or explain the thoughts i was having.

we need to work to make sure that ocd is actually understood and that our greatest fears aren’t realized by someone telling us that we are evil or inferior for having obsessions and compulsions. the most i ever see about it on here is as a sad story-telling device in slam poetry, where for an instant we might succeed in being reduced to a series of romantic gestures rather than a chain of violent repetition, but many of us relate more with the latter and could badly use an outlet to externalize these things and develop a vocabulary to talk about our experiences without speaking cryptically or feeling as if we are giving too much away and potentially compromising our safety.

this isn’t a positivity post (if anything it’s the opposite) but i definitely stand in solidarity with anyone that deals with this sort of thing. we shouldn’t have to worry about our ability to express ourselves, but that doesn’t come down to all of us being more or less valid, rather it has everything to do with institutions in place that benefit from the mischaracterization of mental illnesses like ours as being disturbing (to others! as if we aren’t the ones living in our own heads every day), and we should seek to actively combat those things.

everyone should work to unlearn their biases and knee jerk reactions to anything “abnormal”. we often have a hard enough time explaining ourselves, so don’t make it any harder by jumping to conclusions. an intrusive thought involving a violent act does not make that person a violent actor. it’s important to learn this sort of thing early on so that you know what’s what and don’t contribute to the witch hunts that often follow an “admission of guilt”, which usually just amounts to someone seeking help after having a distressing thought and hoping that they can confide in you. it’s also especially important that we learn to recognize this thing in children, so that they dont have to grow up like i did, constantly being made fun and even getting in trouble for my coping mechanisms, which, as far as i was concerned, were saving those same people from the violent urges my mind presented to me.

i think this is all very important and yet often goes unsaid for many of the reasons stated above. the point is: don’t deny people with ocd their outlet and don’t jump to conclusions when they decide to be honest with you. they’re putting their comfort and safety on the line, so listen to them instead of alienating and punishing them for acts they have no intention of committing. what we need more than anything else is support, but that has to be built and it won’t come unless people begin giving a shit about us.

What Does Frisk Think of Chara?
  • What Does Frisk Think of Chara?
  • dearheart42/Frisk

Frisk: I’m not sure it’s that black-and-white, to be honest. I’ve never been able to get their whole story, only little bits and pieces. A lot of it looks disturbing. And confusing. But I’ve seen good things, too. Um… I’m sorry, this answer might be kind of long, but…I’d like to take my time with this one, if that’s okay. This is a complicated thing to talk about.

Frisk: I’ve had many journeys with Chara, some good and some…bad. I remember the timelines when they - or,someone pushed me down and let cruelty take over. They latched onto all the bad places in me, and…they did awful things, killed so many people. I’ll admit, during those times…it seemed like Chara was evil.

Frisk: But then…I also remember the times when I stayed myself, and Chara sat at the back of my mind and just…talked. And they had a sassy sense of humor! They’d tell me things about the monsters, the underground. Towards the end, when Asriel fought me, it even seemed like they were…trying to help. 

Frisk: And sometimes, when everything went dark, I could feel their memories. They were so vivid. I felt hope and friendship, and I felt pain. A lot of pain. Even during the bad timelines, I could still hear those voices. Those moments were so important to Chara that they couldn’t hold them back from me, no matter what timeline we were in. That has to mean something, doesn’t it?

Frisk: I read in one of my favorite books that when a heart breaks, if it isn’t mended properly, it can grow back all twisted and hard. That’s kind of how it feels when Chara is with me - like something in them was broken so badly it never healed right. They didn’t climb the mountain for a happy reason. That’s what Asriel told me. I wonder about it a lot. Chara may not be the greatest person…but I’m not so sure they’re the worst, either. 

Frisk: They do have darkness in them. I’ve seen how ugly it can get. But more than anything, I think they’re hurting. There’s a glimmer of light there - they just need help to bring it out!

Frisk: Or…maybe I’m just being fooled. Who knows. Maybe some puzzles aren’t meant to be solved. But still, I think every person needs a chance at mercy, even when it doesn’t seem like they deserve one. I mean, look at what happened with Flowey! 

Frisk: And…yeah, maybe it’s naive to think that way. Maybe it would’ve been safer to just give up on Chara, but, you know me. I’m a very determined kid. And as far as I can tell…there’s still one last person who needs to be saved.

Hey guys,
So I’m not feeling very well, emotionally. There’s a lot of stuff going around and I don’t feel like I’m being me anymore. There’s a lot of things in my head. Lots of disturbing thoughts, etc.

Also, this sem at school is like super important. So I need to like catch up and stuff. So I won’t be able to follow up on tumblr, like I used to.

So I’m planning to take a break. I’m not leaving, just on hiatus for a few months. I know that I’d planned a 1K follower celebration this week, but I don’t feel like celebrating anymore. I’m postponing that to December (if I feel better at that time) . Also I’ve read all the asks in my inbox, just not replied to any of them, and I don’t think I’ll answer them anytime now. If you want to send any message, send me an ask. I’ll read them, I just can’t reply.

A lot of things on tumblr are incomplete, and I’m sorry. But I really need this break. I hope it’s not inconvinient for anyone.

Again, I’m sorry.