a little bit of something for everyone

Tentacle Date Pt 3

Part 1 | Part 2

They were getting bigger, you were sure of it now. Tugging the tail of your shirt down for the umpteenth time, you waddled your way into the kitchen to find something to eat. Going in public was such a strain on you, trying to negotiate the stores with such a huge belly. All the while you felt like everyone was staring at you.

You were in a bit of a tight spot now, though. What little savings you had set back had gone into your rent. Now you were down to maybe $100 to your name. As though the world enjoyed mocking you with bad luck, when you’d called a local agency to ask about surrendering children for adoption, they had informed you they only took human children, directing you to another agency that might help. You’d looked into them but…something about their facilities and reviews online made it sound like they weren’t that great. Poor living conditions, allegations of skimming state funding for non-related purchases, not to mention the place it was in was an awful part of town.

Sitting on your couch, you shifted back until your belly rested on the cushions beneath you. Your skin bulged outward as one of them moved, shifting and stretching their various limbs. Despite the momentary discomfort, you poked at the spot and chuckled when another bump pushed against you.

As you ate a meager meal, your mind drifted, and something occurred to you. There was a third option…getting in touch with their “father” or whatever he was and making him take them. The idea of seeing him again made you almost physically ill, but..the alternatives weren’t great either.

You were just about to pick up your phone to message one of the friends who’d set you two up when you heard a knock at the door. Cursing, you shouted ‘just a second’ and slowly got to your feet. Your back complained as you hobbled to the door and opened it.

And there he was…

He looked a little tired, probably just barely better than you yourself looked. His skin was almost sickly looking and the rich blue of his mantle was rather dull. He opened his mouth to speak, then hesitated, eyes drifting down to your huge belly. You could see his chest tremble as his breath caught in his throat. Finally his gaze came to yours.

“….Hi.” How eloquent.

“I should slam the door right now,” you said. Gripping the door tightly, you realized you hadn’t entirely ruled out that possibility.

“I know. You should.” His gaze flicked away, falling to the floor to study the tiles behind you. “You have every right…for what I’ve done to you.” He explained that your friends had contacted him a couple of days ago. Apparently they were concerned for your well being and hoped he could help. You tried to fold your arms and look unimpressed, but gave up when you realized they rested directly on your stomach now.

“What makes you think I WANT your help?” you snapped.

“You /need/ it,” he emphasized. “At least…” He sighed heavily and shook his head. “Let me help you until the children are born and you get back on your feet.”

The sincerity in his voice was annoying. You knew he was genuinely sorry for what had happened, there was no doubt about that. You needed the help, and this was all his fault.

“Fine,” you said, waving your hand. “But don’t think this means I’ve forgiven you or anything.” Fixing him with a hard look, you tilted your head. “How much longer is this going to go on anyway?”

“Probably another six weeks.”

“Six w-!” You put a hand to your head and hobbled back to sit down. He followed, leaning on the back of the couch to watch you. “Are they going to keep getting bigger?!”

“Probably not,” he said, shaking his head a little. His eyes stayed on your belly now. “Least not a lot.”

“That’s SO comforting, thank you.” One of the things moved and thumped at your belly again. Rubbing your temples, you shifted into the corner of the couch and leaned back. This was going to be such a long 6 weeks.

(Very slice of lifey I know. This story kinda took on a life of it’s own. The characters even have names now! His name is Darren and “your” name is Jamie, as suggested by my readers <3 -Nona)

Ah yes today is one of those bitter sweet days. So I’m going to talk space pirate au at y'all.

So basically Lance and hunk never really thought about leaving home for over a year. They just wanted a two week vacation in space and it ended up changing since they found the cores.

However they do come back home once in awhile when tension gets to be too much for everyone on the castle ships. Their water planet is the perfect place to relax and forget for a little bit about their daily stresses.

Lance is excited to bring shiro home. Especially to meet his family. Who basically decide to adopt him like hunks family has already adopted Keith and Pidge.

Seriously though if y'all can please ask me questions about space pirate au… im dying because all my shance stuff is still wips right now or I can’t share. I need to talk about something. -sobs-

Community Re-Watch Season 1: Introduction to Film and Football, Feminism, and You

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Community Re-Watch:  Season 1

Hello Everyone! We’re going to try something a little bit different in this go-round, and that is to watch in the intended order, rather than the order in which the episodes aired. As a result, we’re getting “Football, Feminism, and You” this week instead of next week. Enjoy!

Introduction to Film
  • Commentary by Dan Harmon, Gillian Jacobs, Danny Pudi, Donald Glover
  • They thought John Michael Higgins was awesome. They absolutely loved him. Danny said he was sorry that he didn’t get to work with him.
  • Donald says that he loves watching the beginning of the series because they hadn’t quite found themselves yet.
  • It’s interesting how Dan treats Donald as a peer, even this early on in the series as Dan and Donald talk a little bit about Community’s tonal shift from the early episodes to later episodes in the season.
  • One of Dan’s favorite bits in the episode is when Pierce is trying to use voice recognition on his phone and failing spectacularly. Dan says that in this bit, they were showing that Britta is “the cool one.” He notes in a roundabout way that the audience seemed to push back on this (“Wait a minute! I get to decide who the ‘cool one’ is!”), and they came up with the idea to “beat on her” a little bit to make her ‘Charlie Brown’ instead of ‘saddling her with status.’
  • Gillian response is basically, “I don’t care what you do. You can call me an ugly lesbian all you want. But don’t take my coat!” (She’s referencing Britta’s leather coat in this episode.)
  • Donald admits that he finds it funny when Pierce calls Britta (and by extension other people) mean names, mostly because Pierce obviously has a whole bunch of problems himself.
  • Both Dan and Donald agree that what makes it funny is that Pierce is bagging on Britta for being “ugly” even though it’s obvious she’s pretty. Or, as Dan puts it, “It’s better than him sexually harassing people all the time.”
  • Gillian remarked that she had to write Abed’s check and rip it out of the checkbook very quickly so the pacing of the table scene wouldn’t be broken.
  • Donald and Danny say that their favorite joke in the episode is when Jeff times Pierce on how long it’ll take him to say something offensive.
  • Dan complains that the cootie catcher/fortuneteller at the beginning doesn’t look like real paper. Gillian notes that Chevy’s doodle has changed from the naked woman to ‘weird eyes.’ Dan re-iterates that NBC made them change it.
  • Dan notes that the lower vocal register Yvette uses in her first scene in Professor Whitman’s class is the last time you’ll hear it (at least in first season), because she slowly starts sounding more and more like Miss Piggy. Danny jokes that the switchover marks the point at which the show finds itself.
  • Donald notes that the stunt lady who falls off the desk during the “stand on your desk” scene is a real pro. He remembers that she got injured and started bleeding after taking the fall for the third time. He was so concerned that she was hurt that he asked if she was all right. She told him that she was fine. She’s paid to get hurt and be okay with it.
  • Dan says that “the thing that’s wrong with the show at this point is that there’s nothing wrong with the show at this point.” He clarifies that the characters don’t really know each other that well, so the character dynamics feel off, even though they really aren’t considering that all of these people are still strangers at this point.
  • Gillian notes that this episode is the only time she wears a watch onscreen in the entire series (or at least during season one). Donald says that he discussed with the costuming people about his wearing a watch during season one, and they decided that he would no longer wear a watch starting with season two.
  • Seems like everyone likes Iqbal Theba (Abed’s Dad and the principal on Glee). Gillian notes that the cast loves quoting all of his meanest lines to each other.
  • Dan notes that during the scene where Britta and Abed’s Dad argue, there was something like 75 different colors of tape on the ground so the actors could hit their marks during the scene.
  • Dan and the cast admit that they don’t hate Glee. They’re jealous of Glee. Donald notes that Community and Glee shoot on the same lot. He says the Glee cast is really sweet and nice to them. He also comments that Community is kind of Glee’s dirty, disreputable cousin.
  • After talking a bit about Jeff’s “Mork from Orc” suspenders, Gillian admits that she only recently learned that Mork and Mindy was actually a spinoff from Happy Days. (Yes, it’s true. Mork’s — and consequently Robin Williams’ — first television appearance was on an episode of Happy Days.) Dan is the only one who actually knew that information.
  • Dan says the scene between Troy and Pierce talking about Troy’s girly sneeze had to be cut down a lot. He talks a little bit about the cut scene, where Pierce says that Troy has lost his status and that he’s become a joke to other people, but in a way where you get the sense that Pierce is really talking about himself. Both Donald and Dan say that the cut bits showed some really good acting from Chevy.
  • Dan says that in the beginning, the scripts were 29 to 31 pages, but they had to cut the scripts down because they usually ended up cutting eight minutes out of the show during editing. He notes that the script for “Modern Warfare” was 23 pages. Usually, the scripts average about 25 pages.
  • They talk a little bit about Gillian’s costuming in the episode. Gillian says it’s to show Britta’s “skanky-ness.”
  • Donald says he loves the end of the episode with Abed’s video. He also notes that the episode’s ending was not the original ending.
  • Dan said the concept of the episode was for Abed to capture Jeff’s encroaching phobia that the study group was becoming a family and that he had been cast as the dad and Britta had been cast as the mom. The problem is that the intended “joke” where Jeff is the unwitting father figure did not come through in the episode at all. Gillian noted Dan had told her the intent during shooting, so she doesn’t have an objective take on whether he succeeded.
  • Donald jokes that Community is all about “dad issues.” He adds, “It’s a lot like Lost in that way.”
  • Donald remarks that the scene where both Britta, and eventually Jeff, storm out of the study room after Britta confronts Abed about how he is spending the money she loaned him struck the cast as a pretty dark ending to the scene.
  • Dan dislikes the sweater that Joel is wearing during the denouement where Britta and Abed’s dad have their final argument and Abed shows his film.
  • Gillian says that the scene where Abed shows his film is a re-shoot, and that it took eight hours to complete. It was originally shot in the cafeteria.
  • Dan says that some people from Channel 101 put together Abed’s movie.
  • The woman who “played” Abed’s mom in Abed’s film was a random photo chosen out of a book.
  • Danny says he likes that the episode is kind of dark.
  • Dan comments that it’s obvious that Jeff and Britta totally don’t get Abed’s film, while Abed’s dad does. He’s proud of the fact that Jeff and Britta are fundamentally petty characters.
  • Danny says that he likes that the show was willing “to go there” so early on in the run. Donald adds that he enjoys the fact that you’re learning about characters’ backgrounds from the start, and that even though it’s sad also it’s funny.
  • Dan somewhat responds to critics who were upset that “a half-Indian” guy was cast as an Arab. He says Danny was cast because he was the best person for the part, although he gets why people were upset. Donald jokes, “But truthfully, it’s because none of us can tell the difference anyway.”
  • Dan says the whole point of the first season was to remove the “will-they-won’t-they” element between Jeff and Britta. He states that it was meant to be cynical.
  • Donald and Danny say that everyone involved in the crumping scene in the closing tag was very sore the next day. Apparently they did numerous takes of it.
  • Dan says that Joe Russo didn’t think the closing tag was funny and pushed to air a commercial instead. Dan says he and Joe ended up getting into a fight over it.

Football, Feminism, and You
  • Commentaries by Dan Harmon, Joel McHale, Alison Brie, Donald Glover, and Joe Russo
  • Dan says that this is the first episode where the Dean interacts with the group and it’s the first time he’s in the study room. Alison says she likes his entrance and his comments that “there’s one of every kind of you.” Donald notes that it’s a pretty self-aware statement.
  • Dan notes that the episode was shown “out of order” on NBC in that it was filmed earlier, but shown sixth.
  • Joel says one of his most favorite lines of the season is “They’ve been called animals their whole lives.” Joel says it’s the way Jim Rash says it that sells it.
  • Joel jokes that Annie is dressing less conservatively with the “plunge neckline” top she’s wearing in this episode. You can practically hear Alison rolling her eyes as she notes that Annie is still in her “gross Annie phase” costume-wise.
  • Joel really likes his coat in this study room scene.
  • Donald is having a hard time wrapping his head around the characterizations in this episode, because apparently the episodes in filmed order was careful about building the relationships between characters and the acting had evolved. But he finds it jarring when watching the episodes in the ‘as-aired on NBC order.’ His actual comment, “It’s almost like watching a completely different cast.”
  • Britta’s characterization as “the cool girl” actually got the hardest push-back from the women in the writers’ room. According to Dan, Hillary Winston (one of the writers) point-blank said that Britta was not someone she’d want to be friends with. Dan said that rather than correcting it, he decided to make that unlikeability part of her character and to explore what that meant and how it affected the other characters. Dan adds that in the end, Hillary Winston was basically the driving force behind Britta’s season one arc and eventually become the biggest champion for Britta in the writers’ room.
  • Joe says that this episode is one of his top five episodes of the season, in large part because this is the episode where they figured out how to group the characters together; how to make the A and B stories work together; and how to set up group problems that need to be resolved by the end of the episode.
  • Alison says that the two bathroom scenes in this episode were shot back-to-back. The Shirley-Britta scene was shot first, and then the Annie-Britta-Shirley scene was shot second.
  • Dan says that Yvette’s acting in the first bathroom scene was great.
  • Donald and Alison joke about “foreshadowing” in the first bathroom scene. For Donald, fixing the sinks later in the season. For Alison, copying Britta’s robotic voice in “the chicken fingers” episode.
  • Everyone basically loves Jim Rash. Apparently, the scene between Pierce and the Dean in the Dean’s office is really what sealed the deal for everyone.
  • Dan says he almost deleted the line “Seal and Seal’s teeth” (when talking about what color the Human Being should be), because it felt too much like Wisconsin racism where the white students talk about the black students. He just thought it was too creepy, but when it got a big laugh during the table read, he decided to keep it in the script.
  • Joe says Dan had a deliberate strategy to pair Jeff up one-on-one with each of the characters in the B story. Funny enough, this episode was supposed to be about Jeff-and-Troy. Reaction from the other people in the commentary (sans Dan), “Well, whoops!”
  • Donald says that Troy doesn’t really say much in the episode until Jeff starts manipulating Troy into playing football. He thought it was deliberate because Troy is 1) kind of dumb and 2) doesn’t really make decisions for himself. Dan admits it’s because they were trying to figure out the character, until they decided to go with, “Troy is Donald being funny.” The big thing, Dan says, is that Donald is a talented guy, and they have him playing a dumb jock, which put the character and Donald into too much of a box.
  • Donald says that he likes the fact that after this episode, Troy never plays football again. He likes the fact that Troy goes from football jock to “let’s eat this big cookie!” Alison points out that it’s because Abed replaced football in Troy’s life.
  • Joe says the original concept for Troy was that he was a big, dumb white football player. However, during the casting process they realized that it was too-on-the-nose stereotypical because it was something they all had seen before. So they decided to open up the concept. Donald got the part based on his work with Derrick Comedy. Joe said that once they got Donald, they decided that the original concept was too limited for someone of Donald’s talent, so they deliberately worked to open up the character so they could take advantage of what Donald could do with it. Joel agrees that Troy changed a lot over the course of the first half of the season. Dan remarks that at least with Troy and Annie, they had a good excuse because the characters are both 18, so they’re still finding themselves.
  • During the football field scene, Joel points out the pregnant woman playing football in the background.
  • The back-and-forth between Joel and Troy on the football field was written by Dan at 7 in the morning and sent to the set at the last minute to Joel and Donald. In short, they got the pages shortly before they shot the scene. Alison remarks that the same thing happened for Jeff and Annie’s big fight scene.
  • Donald says that he considers his scene with Joel on the football field to be his first real acting on a television show. He also notes that it was really, really hot that day and it was made worse by the fact that they’re wearing these heavy sweatshirts.
  • Joe says that it took Donald 39 takes before he could hit one of the other actors in the head with a football. Looking back, he says that they probably should have gone with a digital effect. Donald says that when they were done shooting the scene, he was in so much pain he was crying and was wearing ice packs on his arm. Joel says that the really weird thing about the whole shoot was that Donald kept overthrowing the football so it kept going through the uprights instead of hitting the actor.
  • Donald Glover makes a joke about being Danny Glover’s son. Then he realizes that someone might take him seriously and states for the record that he’s not Danny Glover’s son.
  • Dan says the scene where Shirley confronts Britta about being a bad bathroom friend had to be severely cut down for time. Alison remembers the cut jokes where Britta talks about the other girls calling her “Brooba” and “Titta” because she got boobs before all the other girls.
  • Alison says that Troy’s out-dated weirdly conservative rap scene was the last scene shot for the episode. And they had to film the whole thing in 20 minutes.
  • Dan loves the fact that Alison is a fast talker and can still be understood. He says he tends to write a lot for people, but not everyone can get those lines out, so he had to learn how to write shorter for the actors.
  • Donald remarks that when he talks to people about the show, people are happy with the fact that the student population pretty much looks like the kind of population you’d see in a community college.
  • Dan admits that Jeff’s line, “I think not being racist is the new racism” is kind of a personal axe of his to grind. That sometimes overcorrecting for racism ends up becoming a form of racism in and of itself. He says it pretty much sums up the Dean’s administration for Greendale.
  • Joel admits that during the Jeff-and-Annie fight scene, Alison actually made him feel terrible.
  • Alison said that this was the first episode where she had a lot of dialog and a good storyline. She notes that they got the script pages for the Jeff-and-Annie fight scene 20 minutes before they shot it. She felt pressure because “this is now really real, this is where I have to make it happen.” Joel jokes that when he got the pages he was thinking, “I can’t do it. There’s no way I can do it.”
  • Alison gives a shout-out to Jeff-Annie shippers. She says that from their perspective it’s weird that this scene gets used in so many Jeff-Annie fan videos because it’s kind of a nasty scene. Dan points out that there are only so many shots of Jeff and Annie actually looking at each other during season one, so there’s not a lot to choose from. Alison thinks it’s Annie dramatically turning away that’s the key. Donald says his favorite Jeff-Annie video is the one that includes a shot of him and Gillian turning away from Jeff and Annie, mostly because he can’t figure out where those scenes come from. Alison jokes that the funniest thing about the fan videos is that the cast has watched every single one of them.
  • Donald says that Alison can cry really well, and it’s really believable. He jokes, “I’d hate to have you as a daughter. Or a girlfriend. Because you would get whatever you want.” This leads to everyone joking about Alison’s “Disney eyes.” Alison points out that in “English as a Second Language” Joel was the one who added the “her eyelids flutter but never close” because he’d witnessed it way too many times.
  • Joel says he loves the Greendale football team.
  • Dan says that he got some crap about Greendale having a pep rally because community colleges don’t do that. Donald says it’s obvious to him that Greendale spends its money on the wrong things, like pep rallies and dances.
  • Dan says they had a hard time ending the episode. They had to reshoot the ending.
  • The closing scene between Jeff and Annie was shot several weeks after they wrapped filming on the episode. Joe says it’s because they realized they needed to wrap the Jeff-Annie storyline after they were done editing the episode.
  • Alison points out that this episode was the third episode shot.
  • Joe states that the first five or six episodes of a series is difficult because there’s a lot of re-shooting and repositioning of the characters because everyone’s still in discovery mode. As the series goes on, the days get shorter. This prompts Alison to joke that she’s still waiting for those shorter days to happen. Donald counter-jokes that they get shorter because they know going in how long they really are.
  • Everyone loves the Human Being. Alison said they had a different person in the costume for the debate episode and she was unhappy and went to Joe to complain because the person in that episode was too stocky, buff, and confident. She likes it better when the person behind the mask kind of hates himself.
  • Dan says that his most favorite thing about the closing tags is that they cut out just as the joke starts to happen.

i remember the first time i saw a trailer for Split in the movie theaters. i was with family and the theater was full and i’d been mildly enjoying the trailers and perked up a bit when the tell-tale ominous music of a horror movie trailer started, because i love good thrillers.

except then it was frame after frame after frame of a person with dissociative identity disorder being portrayed as everyone’s boogey man, the shrieks of the little girl protagonists as he appeared wearing different clothes and a different voice, people in the theater jumping and giggling every time they showed the man doing something horrific. and i felt frozen in my seat.

my sister leaned over to me when it was finished and said “i want to see that” with a look on her face like it was the greatest trailer she’d ever seen.

like it wasn’t a punch to my gut everytime i heard someone whisper “psycho” or “crazy” and other terrible things. like in that moment i didn’t feel like running away from all these people, like i didn’t feel unsafe and filthy. because these people getting their thrills from a demonizing potrayal of a mental illness.

and the thing is, it matters.

because if i bring it up people will say “oh but it’s not really mental illness, like depression or something. he was just fucking crazy which is totally scary haha”. yeah well, not haha. not haha because DID is a real mental illness but that’s not what it looks like. people with DID aren’t murderers or dangerous. but now, because movies like Split are all people have seen of illnesses like DID, that’s their frame of reference.

the media does it with DID, with schizophrenia, with every single personality disorder, with bipolar, with everything else that is “scary”. raising awareness for depression and anxiety is important, they’re valid and serious illnesses. but hardly anyone tries to protect people with “scary” disorders. this halloween when costumes of the main character crop up, people will giggle and buy it because it’s so creepy and cool.

i’m reminded that, although i don’t have DID, much of my mental illness is defined by symptoms that are used in other horror movies. that people who have “scary” disorders are the entertainment in everyone else’s world. and for people who do have DID, that movie is absolutely devastating.

so if you buy a ticket to see Split, please know that’s it’s not harmless entertainment or a good thrill. it’s fucking ableism and you’re being ableist if you go see it.

(please reblog, neurotypical or not)

The Signs as Cry Baby Lyrics

Aries - Don’t be dramatic, it’s only some plastic. No one will love you if you’re unattractive // Mrs. Potato Head

Taurus - I feel like I’m just missing something whenever you leave // Cake

Gemini - A little bit of sugar, but lots of poison, too // Milk & Cookies

Cancer - You take things so hard, and then you fall apart // Cry Baby

Leo - So what if I’m crazy? The best people are // Mad Hatter

Virgo - Everyone thinks that we’re perfect; please don’t let them look through the curtains // Dollhouse

Libra - Someone told me stay away from things that aren’t yours, but was he yours if he wanted me so bad? // Pacify Her

Scorpio - I wanna make you mine, but that’s hard to say. Is this coming off in a cheesy way? // Training Wheels

Sagittarius - I’m sick of all the games I have to play // Soap

Capricorn - You were comforting and quiet; how did love become so violent? // Teddy Bear

Aquarius - If they say to kill yourself, then you will try it. All the makeup in the world, won’t make you less insecure // Sippy Cup

Pisces - Chasing after you is like a fairytale, but I feel like I’m glued on tight to this carousel // Carousel

suddenly i remembered something from season 1 about keith? it’s just a little thing. regarding his hostility towards pidge

“You can’t leave!”
“You can’t tell me what to do.”

in this episode when the castle is ambushed and pidge intends to leave, the only person to really get on her ass is keith. i was reading @gay-space-lions post talking about how keith’s father more than likely abandoned him and that both of his parents are alive and it helped explain this scene better than “dead parents, sad orphan boy.”

there’s this bit where he practically snaps when hunk expresses wanting to leave at some point, but it doesn’t really help the situation.

“You’re not the only one with a family...everyone in the universe has family! You’re putting the lives over two people over everyone else in the entire galaxy!”

keith downright chews her out rather cruelly for an older boy to do to a little kid, but i think this is probably something similar to what he’d like to say to his own family. he’s calling her selfish and dismissing her feelings because, if his parents did really abandon him, having pidge leave him all of the sudden probably hurts a lot. keith doesnt want to go home, he wants people to just stay with him.

Dadman shiro puts a stop to it by reminding keith that he cant force someone to stay if they don’t want to, which shuts him up p damn fast but look at his face? this was a big blow to him, just when he started to open up, but now he sees and feels that people will just all leave him eventually.

@ dreamworks give this kid a fucking break

I’ll overthinking everything, and that’s not your fault. I’m wired that way. My brain makes me believe that everything & everyone is temporary, and though there is some truth to that, some people truly aren’t just “temporary.” It’ll take me a little bit to wrap my head around that. I don’t ever mean to offend you when I say some of the things I do, or when I try to push you away, that’s just a defense mechanism. Like a reflex, I guess. Something I always end up doing. I shouldn’t, I know. I will need reassurance. Tons of it. This goes back to the whole “everyone is temporary” thought I mentioned earlier. Everyone I think will stay eventually gets pushed away by all these little faults, and I know I need to get better, I know I shouldn’t think these things, and I know you’re not like everyone else in my past. I’m sorry, I will try to make myself understand that, but I need you to work with me. I need you to have patience. I need you to believe me when I tell you that the last thing I want in this world is for you to leave me. There will be great nights when I’m able to push all these thoughts out of my head, but these come along with terrible nights when I’ll be distant. I’ll wonder if I make you happy. I’ll wonder why you stay with me, because even though you say nothing is wrong, my brain convinces me that I’m not good enough. This is when I need you the most, though I’ll continue to act like everything is fine. It’s not. My mind is running a thousand miles per hour, filling my brain with doubts and fear of how it’ll be when you leave, or about how vulnerable I’m making myself, and the worst of them all, about how all this happiness & joy I’m feeling will just be temporary. I know I’ll push you away, and I know you’ll want to give up, but please don’t. I want this. I want us. I don’t want to believe any of these things, and I’ll need your help. Reassurance, patience & time - that’s what will help. I understand if you don’t want to go on with someone who needs all of this to feel that a relationship will be successful, and hell.. I can’t really blame you, but all that I ask is that you remember that I love you. I will always love you, and I will never give up on you.
—  Something I wish all those who date someone with anxiety would understand

anonymous asked:

What would the guys do if they hear their crush say "me? who would like someone like me?" because they can't believe anyone would like them

Aw nonnie this is a sad/cute one. I hope this is alright! 


 - Noctis would be able to tell you were feeling a little glum, and when you had a few precious moments alone, he’d ask you what was wrong.
- You would try and brush it off at first, it’s not like you want to burden him with something like that…
- But this would just make the prince feel a bit useless, he’d really want you to confide in him. 
- You’d take a big sigh, and finally tell him. You feel lonely. You feel like a bit of a spare part. Everyone was settling down, even Noctis had his marriage to Luna. But you were just left on your own, as always.
- “Hey, don’t be so stupid.” 
- Stupid? This would anger you, you just confided in him like he asked and he calls you stupid?
- Noct would see how irate you were getting, and instantly feel bad.
- “Wait, that’s not what I meant!” And it honestly wasn’t. When will this boy learn to deal with his feelings and say the right thing?
- “Sorry that I’m bothering you with my stupidity Noctis.”
- “Look, that isn’t what I meant by it!”
- He panics that he’s really screwed this up.
- “Sure! I’m just whittling away for nothing!”
- “Well, yeah because-”
- “I should just get used to it.”
- “What?”
- “I mean, who would ever like me?”
- “I would!”
- There would be silence as you digest what Noctis had just said. 
- “You…? But what about Luna?”
- Okay, now his heart is racing.
- “We are friends, good friends, but this arranged marriage… It isn’t for me. Look, I’ve been trying to tell you… I, well, like you.” 
- His eyes sink to the floor and he plays with his arm band nervously. Now it’s calmed down he is self-conscious and can’t believe he just blurted that out…
- You’re stunned. Noctis… liked you? 
- He finally looks at you, unnerved by your silence
- Damn, have I really over stepped the mark this time?
- “Noct… you like me?”
- You can see little splashes of red colour his cheeks as he answers.
- “Y-yeah I do… is that okay?”


- Prompto would be heading towards the tent one night, after you had disappeared for a while. He was starting to get worried as to where you were!
- As he gets closer to the tent, he can hear your voice… He doesn’t want to intrude if you were on the phone. Though, it didn’t seem like you were…
- He listens for a bit. He knows he shouldn’t, but he just can’t help it. There was just something in the tone of your voice that made him stay, a little twinge of something like… sadness?
- “I’m not like Cindy, or Aranea, I’m just…not.”
- They are definitely talking to themselves. He realised.
- And then you said it. 
- “But really… me? Who could ever like someone like me?”
- It’s almost like you could hear Prompto’s heart crack.
- No. No no no no.
- He recognises the pain in your voice, he understands the self-doubt, he knows it all too well.
- Before he could stop himself or even think about what he was doing, he’d push open the tent flap and take you in his arms.
- There are tears pooling in his own eyes.
- “You should never, never have to feel that way. Not you. Not someone like you.”
- It’s hard to hear him as his voice is muffled, his face buried in your neck. His grip is tight, and he can’t even think about how forward this might be because he just has to make sure you know you’re loved.
- “I like you, I like you, I like you.” He can’t say it enough.
- His words warm your heart.
- You both sit like that for a while, just holding each other until the tears stop. 
- He pulls away, and gently whispers; “It’s you. It has been for a while now. I really like you.”
- You can hardly believe your ears. 
- Still holding you, he looks you in your eyes still wet with tears, now smiling a little sheepishly.
- “So… what do you say?”


- Prompto would be chatting away about Cindy, as usual, and you would roll your eyes.
- “Tch, she’s pretty lucky.” 
- Gladio would hear your mumbling, and fall behind the other three to walk with you instead. 
- “Hey, what’s that?” He’d ask, friendly as always.
- “Well, it’s lucky Cindy has someone to feel that way about her.”
- Gladio would raise his eyebrows in surprise and a little in doubt as well.
- “I’m not so sure she sees it that way.”
- “I guess, but at least she knows she’s wanted.”
- By now the other three guys are just a blip in the distance, walking back to the regalia.
- “What do you mean by that?”
- “Well, just that I’d love to be in her shoes. It’s not like anyone will ever feel that way about me.”
- Did they really just say that?
- Suddenly his strong arm juts out in front of you, preventing you from walking any further.
- You look at Gladio in shock, to see that his jaw looks clenched and he looks kind of… angry.
- “Gladio…?”
- “Is that what you truly think?”
- You nod, unable to do more and he finally looks at you.
- “Then, you don’t realise how crazy I am about you.”
- Your heart skips a beat at his words.
- “H-huh?”
- He retracts his arm now, standing up to face you.
- “Why else do you think I always let you fall asleep on me in the car? Because I love the way you feel in my arms. Or when I always ask you for help setting up camp, it’s because I really enjoy your company.”
- He would stand in front of you now, the familiar smile you know and love back.
- “Honestly, these past few weeks you’ve been driving me crazy, and then you say no one would feel like that about you?”
- He shook his head, his shaggy hair falling into his eyes.
- “Well, I’m telling you now, I do. You don’t have to like it, I’ll understand if you don’t and I’ll speak no more of it. I promise.”
- He tilts his head, fully smiling now at your astounded expression.
- “Well… are you alright with that?”


- Ignis had noticed you’ve been seeming down lately, choosing to sit in the tent early or sitting in the back of the car in your own world.
- It really starts to concern him, he can’t fathom why you’re feeling this way.
- One night he brings you your food to the tent, seeing if you’re okay.
- You thank him a little despondently, so he sits down next to you and asks if you want to share what has been bothering you.
- Looking into those kind green eyes it’s hard not to start talking about what’s wrong. You knew Iggy was a great listener. 
- So you opened up a little to him.
- “I’ve been watching the others get closer to people lately, Prompto with Cindy, Noctis with Luna for example…”
- “What about it is bothering you?”
- “I don’t know. I guess it just sucks being on your own.”
- “Come now, you’ll meet someone who is just right for yourself.”
- He knows it’s true, even if it’s not with him. Though that thought hurts him more than he’d care to admit.
- You throw Iggy an incredulous look.
- “What? It’s true. You’ll find someone you really like.”
- Oh if only he knew.
- “That’s not the problem. The problem is them liking me. I mean, who the hell would fall for someone like me?”
- Suddenly Iggy’s eyes tighten, and he re-adjusts his glasses.
- He seems… annoyed?
- “Please, do not put yourself down like that. You’re a wonderful person.”
- Huuuuge eyeroll from you.
- “Uh huh, sure.”
- Here comes the generic ‘you’ll get there eventually’ chat.
- “I mean it.”
- “Really?”
- He’s persistent.
- “Yes, you’re funny, gorgeous, intelligent… anyone would be lucky to call you their partner.”
- Well… that you weren’t expecting.
- The fidgeting with his glasses is progressively getting worse, which is unlike Iggy.
- “Why are you saying all of this…?”
- “Because I…” He has to take a deep breath here!
- “I see you that way. And would definitely feel lucky to call you mine.”
- Your heart stops, you can’t believe what you just heard. And he’s looking up at you through those lovely long lashes, and you know he’s being serious.
- Oh my.
- “Iggy…?”
- “I’m sorry if this seems sudden, but please… I have to know how you feel about me.” His green eyes are gazing at yours.
- Oh my.


my roommate had a photoshoot with my majestic princess, max. is he not the cutest thing you’ve ever seen ever?

I think I could have forgiven the predictable and lazy characterization of the Aphrodite cabin if they had dragged Piper in the beginning. Like if they had to be a bitchy group why couldn’t they read her the way no one has been read before. They could have noticed her disdain for them and the way they value looks/beauty/romance and then just dragged the fuck out of her with a little “glad to see you judge us without actually knowing us just like everyone else” and “oh you think being a child of Aphrodite makes you useless in battle but you have charmspeak? Poor thing how do you survive all that internalized hatred?” A bit of “do you know /anything/ about mom? About the things she can do and has done?” Maybe some “this is very Miss Congenialty of you or are you too good for Sandra Bullock movies too so you don’t get the reference?”

Just something to recognize and counteract the very trite depiction of the children of one of the oldest gods. And something to really push Piper into challenging her ideas about her mom and siblings instead of having to wait 4 books for her to randomly come to terms with it. Would have been cool.

So everyone who donated to the IRC fundraiser was amazing, but I had one donor where I actually had to email them and be like “Did you…mean this amount?” and I thought I’d do a little something extra for them. So for @s2ma, a bit longer even than the “this is well over 100 words” fics I did: 

any Tony/Steve with Tony being a responsible human and taking care of Steve would be welcome

The moment it happened was straight out of the climax of an action flick. Not that Tony had never had “this is a bad buddy film from the eighties” moments before, but the craftsmanship of that spontaneous moment was truly admirable. 

In the wake of Hydra’s fall, a lot of technology had gone missing and a couple of splinter groups had gone rogue; there were the Sons of Schmidt, the Nine Heads, the Hydra Skulls. The FBI handled most of the in-country Hydra cells, and some shadowy agency or other, probably at the behest of Coulson from a shadowy bunker somewhere, handled the international ones. Most weren’t worth the Avengers rolling out of bed for. 

Spydra was different, aside from having a super dumb name, Tony thought. Spydra had been formed primarily out of one of Hydra’s more far-flung heads, the one that dealt with scrubbing their presence from records, repainting Hydra agents as eager soldiers and law officers, and gathering blackmail material. They’d spent most of their blackmail capital squeaking past Steve’s hurricane of fury in the wake of the battle over the Potomac. Now they were trying to bill themselves as a guerrilla band of freedom fighters, stomped down on by SHIELD and Captain America, victims of a new liberal form of fascism. 

But they were also really clever, and they knew how to strike.

(There is a readmore below! Read more!)

Keep reading


if any of y'all are doubting mofftiss and sue and everyone rn i’d just like to take a moment to tell you about what the creator of gravity falls, alex fcuking hirsch, did last year

he’d been traveling around the world a little bit, like russia and japan, and so after the show ended in february, he released a map with clues and ciphers (something the fandom is INCREDIBLY well versed in after years of decoding the entire goddamn show) which was the beginning of a WORLD WIDE SCAVENGER HUNT

he literally left clues in russia and then japan and then back to the us and everyone joined in on it? people were live streaming as they found stuff and driving for hours to see if they could find clues, even the people who lived too far away set up chat rooms and shit

there was even a HUGE puzzle that had to be solved to reveal the next code. some of the voice actors and even the creators sister showed up to help, it was an INSANE week, lemme tell you

and all this eventually led back to Oregon (where the show takes place) where he’d hidden a huge statue of the main villain of the show

so i guess what i’m saying is, give them a chance. just a little bit longer because i’ve seen creators go to such incredible lengths for their shows and their audience, and i’m not about to count them out until i see the actual episode as it airs with my own two eyes

Right vs Wrong

The Arrow 100th and it’s impact on Olicity

Okay guys. Before we go into tonight’s episode, I want to talk something out. I did a little bit of talking about this on Twitter, but I want to get more in depth with it here. I know a lot of you are probably nervous about the Lau/river scenes in tonight’s episode, especially if you’ve noticed they’ve cribbed some Olicity dialogue.

(forgive me for this gif)

I know everyone’s first reaction is to hurl in their mouth a little (it’s okay, I totally did too). But my next reaction was to HOWL with laugher. Because this was totally stolen from Olicity. 

If for no other reason, this should not bother us because the writers can’t even be arsed to come up with original dialogue for these two. But I do believe this parallel is on purpose. And I will tell you why if you follow me just a little bit further. 

Keep reading



Hey everyone! I’m nearing the final stretch of getting the last bit of money together for MFF, so I’m putting out more adoptables! I tried something new with these ones. Since I don’t USUALLY like horses, I tried making some horse-like unicorn/qilin critters in ways that I’d enjoy.

The tags indicate the price each design is going for. The first two are priced a little higher due to taking a little longer than the others. For another $15, I’ll throw in an icon for your design too if you want ($5 off regular price)!

Check my Adoptables page to see if the design you want is still available. My contact email and TOS are also listed there.  (The remaining Candy Chameleons are listed there too.)

Thanks so much for your help!

{ a cut above }

pairing: hamilsquad x reader

prompt: “can you do a hamilsquad!reader when reader gets hurt (cuts themselves badly, goes unconscious, breaks something, etc)”

trigger warning: mention of blood

a/n: hardest decision ever,,, because these boys would fuss over you so much,,, but i chose to do one where you cut yourself on accident!

Once a month, you had a bit of a get together with you and the “squad”. There was a lot of impromptu and last minute planning in your group chat, but nonetheless you figured something out. You decided to chill at Angelica’s house and spent the whole afternoon there. It was usually what you all ended up doing anyway if you didn’t go to the bar or hit up an amusement park. You loved the little hangouts since it gave you a chance to all catch up and hang out for the rest of the day. 

These hangouts meant that everyone was invited. Even Burr, Jefferson, and Madison swung by. Maria too came and everyone was always excited to see her. She had a habit of disappearing every once in a while, but she was warming up to you all and was making more of an appearance. 

You went into the kitchen, smiling little as you saw Angelica and her little sisters leaning over a big cookbook. 

“So, ladies, what are we going to do today?” You asked, slipping beside Maria who was on the other side of the kitchen island. You wrapped your arm around her torso giving her a side hug. She happily hugged you back, letting you rest your head against her shoulder. 

“We’re going to cook!” Peggy said excitedly. “And Eliza’s going to bake, but we’re just not sure what to make yet.” She sounded a little more embarrassed towards the end, but she was still excited. 

“That one looks ambitious.” Maria leaned forward with you, managing to read the title upside down. You peeked over, curious yourself.

“Then we’ll do that one.” Angelica smirked, clapping her hands together. 

Keep reading

Editor’s Pick Masterpost

Normally, Wednesdays are used to recommend fic that doesn’t quite fit into our other categories.  But they’re too amazing to not give to you.  

Today’s post is the Master-post of Editor’s Pick fic recommendations.  It is probably our most eclectic list as of yet.  In here you’ll get a wide array of ratings, multiple ships and pairings, a little bit of something for everyone.  

So, broaden your horizons, and read some amazing fic that you might not otherwise read.  As with every other list, each link will take you back to our original post which will provide you with ratings, length, spoilers, and trigger warnings.

Banging Your Head Against a Red Haired Brick Wall by Blair Provence

Red Valerian by @dashakay

Covenant by Rhonnda Lake

Eyes on You by Shawne

History of a Kiss by Elapses

The Third by Susanne Barringer

Strange Fruit by Punk Maneuverability

Out of Time by @dashakay

Phenomenology by @h0ldthiscat

Another Breath by Robot Iconography

What Not to Wear by Audrey Roget

Amicable Intent by KatyBlue

Out of the Question by Robot Iconography

Dying is Fine, But Death by Brighid

Some Books About Crooks by Sab

Shadowboxer by @somekindofseizure

Dream Within a Dream by Paige Caldwell

Deliberation by Sophia Jirafe

Beige Walls by Geb

How to Fake an Orgasm by Punk Maneuverability and Sab

Only Apples by Kelly Keil

Knock by Gnatalie

Seasons of Change by Gina Rain

Traffic by Sab

After by Alanna

Adios by Cici Lean AKA Pendgirl

Things Began by EPurSeMouve

Nobody’s Son by Marguerite

Hair: The Mulder Family Style by @frangipanidownunder

Aprons and Undershirts, The Smell of Someone You Love by @mangokiwitropicalswirl

We Are Buried in Every Place We’ve Been by @suncrossed

Seeking Warmth by @nowwhateinstein

Five Wishes by FirstofOctober

Chess by Cecily Sasserbaum

Crawl Space and In the Closet by Gwendolyn and @dashakay

In the Car by Adrienne

Melancholia by Jeylan

Madeleine by Amal Nahurriyeh

Boundless by Meredith

Buttons for Eyes by Cofax

Soldier Girl by Wintersong

Small Lives Awake by JET

London is Drowning by Oracle

Losing My Religion by Paige Caldwell

Papa’s Got a Brand New Bag by Kel

For Now by Ann K


Hi everyone!
So I was studyignlikeaslytherin but I’ve decided to try a new URL! I wanted one a little more original and a little closer to my current interests!
Also, I haven’t been posting original content as regularly on here as I do my studygram, mostly bc it’s a bit easier just to post something on Instagram, but I’m trying to fix that!! But do check out my instagram (@philosohphy) if you want to see just a bit more regular content from me. :]
(Also I’m two followers away from my next hundred on here!!)