a little bit of cryin'

Our Little Family 

You sat up in bed, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. Something was off. Normally, you woke up to the sound of Ethan crying. Today you woke up to silence. You quickly turned your head to where his crib had been and found no crib, immediately panicking and running down the hall to Dean’s room. You flung the door open and stopped in your tracks, seeing Dean bouncing your son in his arms and humming classic rock songs. 

“Come on, buddy. Your mom’s been through a lot we gotta let her get a little bit of sleep, ok? I need you to stop cryin’ for me.” Ethan nestled into Dean, resting his face on Dean’s shoulder. Dean’s hand came up to rest on Ethan’s head while he kept bouncing him gently and walking around the room until he eventually started to drift back to sleep. You started to move forward to take your son, but Dean seemed to have it covered. “If I put you down, you gonna be a man about it?” Dean asked, lowering him into the crib. He fussed for a split second, opening his eyes, but drifted right back to sleep as soon as he hit the crib. 

“You didn’t have to take him, Dean. He’s my responsibility.” You sighed and made your way into the room. Dean turned and smiled, sitting down on the bed. You couldn’t help but find yourself wishing Ethan had been Dean’s instead. That you hadn’t tried for a normal life that you knew you couldn’t have.  

“I wanted to.” Dean grabbed your hand and pulled you down next to him. “What’s wrong, Y/N/N?” 

“I just…you don’t have to take care of Ethan.” You sighed. “He’s my son. He’s my responsibility. He’s not your baby you shouldn’t have to be the one getting up with him and feeding him and changing him.” 


“No, Dean let me finish.” You interrupted. “After Sam and the apocalypse I ran. I wanted normal and I ran away. I pushed you into Lisa’s arms and I ran because I thought we could be normal. Now Sam is back from hell with no soul, you saved me from a djinn when I was pregnant and the djinn killed Ethan’s father and you stayed through my whole pregnancy. Why?” It was true. Dean and you were together for years before the apocalypse but after, you’d run. Dean found you, pregnant and close to death from a djinn. He stayed with you after. He took you to all your appointments. He was there when Ethan was born and he still hadn’t left. 

“Because I care about you and Ethan.” Dean answered. “Because I never stopped caring about you, even after you ran. It hurt and I thought…I thought I hated you for awhile but I could never hate you. I never stopped loving you. I loved Lisa, of course I did. But you were different.” 

“Things are different now, though, Dean.” You sighed, letting a tear roll down your cheek. “I should’ve never left. I never stopped loving you either. But now I have Ethan. Everything’s changed. We can’t ever be together now. I should…I should go.” You started to stand and he pulled you gently back down. 

“What do you mean?” 

“I’m gonna pack up Ethan’s and my things and we’ll go stay with Bobby for awhile until we can find a place of our own. We can’t keep using you, Dean.” 

“I wanna be Ethan’s dad.” Dean blurted out, shocking you. Your eyes went wide and he held tightly onto your wrist, making sure you wouldn’t run. “I stayed with you because I love you but I love him too. I know I’m not his dad by blood but that doesn’t matter. He’s yours and I love him and I wanna be his dad if you’ll let me. I wanna be a family. You, me, and Ethan.” 

You stood up and Dean let you this time, tears running down your face as you made your way to Ethan’s crib. He was awake again and you picked him up, walking him over and sitting down next to Dean again. “Ok.” You whispered, glancing up at Dean. “You, me, and Ethan.” Dean smiled and put one hand on the back of Ethan’s head, giving him a quick kiss on the forehead before reaching out and pulling you close and kissing you gently. 

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