a life without light

“Sometimes I look at Kelli O’Hara and I think all the girls in the fairy tales were based on her. She’s beautiful. She’s funny. She’s smart. She sings like nobody on the planet. She dances like Ginger Rogers— I don’t even think she knew that, but she does. She’s been in nine Broadway shows. She’s been nominated for five Tony Awards. She has an amazing husband, two wonderful children, and makes a mean grits casserole. She’s performed in everything from South Pacific to King Lear to our own The Bridges of Madison County, this season. She’s appeared with the New York Philharmonic, been on Sex and the City, performed at Carnegie Hall, and three times at the Kennedy Center Honors, But here’s the deal, folks: Kelli O’Hara is no princess. Bart Sher says that what makes Kelli so spectacular is that she is a woman on stage. She brings a woman’s understanding and emotion to every part she plays. She will not let a word or a lyric get by her that isn’t right. And when everything is right, she falls into your arms and you cannot imagine ever being loved by anybody else.”

Happy 41st Birthday to the best there is, Kelli O’Hara!


march {listen here} // the reigniting of hearts and consciousness

i. castle on the hill | ed sheeran; ii. we move like the ocean | bad suns; iii. deadwater | wet; iv. atlantis | bridgit mendler; v. sleepover | hayley kiyoko; vi. green light | lorde; vii. sweet life | frank ocean; viii. flesh without blood | grimes; ix. galway girl | ed sheeran; x. dead oaks | now, now; xi. ivy | frank ocean

Neptune /Mars Aspects

Most people on tumblr have Neptune in Sagittarius, Capricorn or Aquarius,  since it is a generational planet.

For the purpose of this blog post, I am using Mars in Leo as the same interpretation as Mars in the 5th house, as well as Mars in Cancer as a synonym to Mars in the 4th house, and so on.

I have this article set up so that you can put together your Mars with your Neptune. Apply this info to you to understand how these parts of your psyche relate to each other. This is psychological astrology.

By knowing which planets are strongest in a person, you understand their most prominent motivations.

This is a powerful tool in psychoanalysis.

Mars opposite Neptune is a polarization between (Mars) your drive, your passion, your anger, fighting nature, and (Neptune) intoxication, Neptune opposite Mars means you have a hard time being motivated because you are confused about which way to turn/which project to take on/which methods to use. Feeling like something is always holding them back, this person has trouble fighting for what is right. When they’re angry, they are confused about how to express it or be constructive to create a solution, instead of asserting themselves effectively. This person could have an inconsistent libido, as Neptune dissolves Martian passion.

Mars square or quincunx Neptune is much like the above description, but rather, a tension or adjustment instead of a polarization.

Mars conjunct Neptune is a person full of a mystical passion, but they often feel fatigued. It’s difficult for them to direct their anger, their desire to fight clashes with their peacemaking abilities. They’re confused about what to do with their passion.

Mars trine or sextile Neptune transmutes their anger, they have a gentle fighting nature. They can turn their divine inspiration into action. This might even be the best indicator for effective psychic skills. Mars aspects direct the energy of a planet they are connected to. Neptune rules mediumship, channelling, clairvoyance, and astral travel, so when Mars makes a positive contact, the person is able to do these things if they consciously direct their energy to it.

I use the minor aspects as well…

Houses 1, 3, and 4 say a lot about our childhood and upbringing, whereas houses 9, 10, and 11 say who we grow up to be, how we assert ourselves out in the world based upon our earlier influences. You can turn a reading into a story by describing how someone’s background (1st, 4th, and 3rd houses) led them to where they are now. If you start interpreting charts this way, you’ll gain deeper psychological insight. The easiest way to do this is to connect someone’s 4th house planets and IC, to to their 10th house planets and MC, but you can get creative and perceive even more about what is embedded in someone’s subconscious and how it plays out in their life without them realizing. By gently bringing to light the patterns in a person’s psyche, it can bring clarity about why this person is going thru various situations in their current life.

Mars in the 1st house or Mars in Aries –you present yourself as someone not to be messed with, you project a pushy presence, and you persistently move thru life with a straightforward attitude.  But lets say you have it opposite Neptune in the 7th house, you may lose yourself in a romance or business partnership, as you see others as having kinder intentions and you turn out to be wrong.

Mars in the 2nd house or Mars in Taurus –you’re driven to earn your own money but often spend it hastily, you value being straightforward and fighting for what you care about with all your strength, you’re a warrior about your principles. You steadily go after what you want.

Whichever house Mars is in can be the area of life that you are hasty.

Mars in Gemini Or Mars in the 3rd house –you had hostility during grade school, abrasive siblings, and you’re a driven learner

Mars in Cancer, OR Mars in the 4th house –indicates hostility in your upbringing, you were raised with a pushy parent(s)you are hesitant in expressing your anger and it can come out in a subtle way, you like to know you have power over someone’s emotions…

Mars in Leo, OR Mars in the 5th house –there were ego driven fights with a family member… you’re motivated to do things for yourself and don’t always consider the greater good… you’re straightforward in your creative expression… when you like someone, you express it with passion rather than being coy about it…

Mars in the 6th house or Mars in Virgo –you’re driven to get things done in the real world, as you have an inner need to feel useful, though you reject the Neptunian parts of yourself that are more dreamy and impractical.

Mars in the 7th house or Mars in Libra –eagerly seeks lovers, this person might make the first move. They struggle to assert themselves, as they’d rather please others and they are afraid that if they stand up for themselves, it will cause more drama, so they end up holding resentment over unresolved conflict. They’re hesitant to tell someone off because they’d rather not be perceived as rude. It’s hard to move forward or decide where to put their energy because the weigh out all the options.

Mars in the 8th house or Mars in Scorpio –symbolically, the 8th house is making the most of the passion that the planet holds before being weakened as it steps into the 7th house and below the horizon. Mars in the 8th is a go-getter who achieves from the vigor in their soul! Take Neptune into consideration to see if this aids or hinders Mars. Scorpio was ruled by Mars before Pluto was discovered, and the 8th house is a very strong placement for Mars. Neptune’s desire for intoxication may distract this Mars from their determination.

Mars in the 9th house or Mars in Sagittarius –you’re more enthralled by higher learning than the remedial drill of typical school subjects. Neptunian states of altered consciousness might induce greater spiritual understanding that this Mars craves, or it may lead them astray.

Mars in the 10th house or Mars in Capricorn –you’re controlled in your expression of anger and cautious in your actions. You are thorough in completing tasks and you strive to succeed. Being challenged at work brings out your high energy levels, you might require pressure in order to feel motivated. When life is too easy, you eagerly ask, “what’s next?!” You likely reject the Neptunian parts of yourself as you’d rather climb to the top than be bogged down in Neptunian dreams. You are not a pushover, as those with strong Neptune might be more weak than you. You are a dominant person who assertively persists thru life!

Mars in the 11th house or Mars in Aquarius –You are unpredictable, as you might get angry all of a sudden. It’s difficult for others to understand what motivates you and what sets you off. You are driven to assert your independence and flaunt your weirdness. You have more energy when you are working towards something that benefits humanity.

Mars in the 12th house or Mars in Pisces –The frustration and anger of the collective rushes thru you, leaving you feeling burnt out.

…Neptune in the 1st house –other people misinterpret who you are, you feel like you have a hard time creating the identity you want because others project their ideas onto you, assuming the way you are without actually getting to know you.

…Neptune in the 2nd house –can be irresponsible about managing money, it is difficult for you to keep track of how much you are able to spend. You probably deny this, but you’re unsure of your own values. Since you don’t know your own worth and your capabilities, it makes it difficult for you to earn money.

…Neptune in the 3rd house –suggests that your sibling(s) mislead or deceive you. If you do not have siblings, you may experience unclear communication with school teachers. Neptune in the 3rd house has a hard time grasping concepts and their logic can be faulty. You’re probably not the best at memorizing, when you are pressured to learn, you become reluctant to give your all to academics.  

…Neptune in the 4th house –you created your own imaginative world during childhood, later to realize all the burdens of the world. Perhaps your parents didn’t have a plan of how to raise you, so you feel this inner haziness deep within you. You carry disappointment about life, feeling melancholy. You were deceived by your own family at some point. Your image of one of your parents was likely a misconception, later in life to realize that they weren’t as great of person as you perceived them to be when you were younger.

…Neptune in the 5th house –you are uncertain in how to handle your ego. Though you have a mystical creativity, you have a hard time expressing it or following thru with creative projects. Without realizing it, you derive your artistic inspiration from higher realms, you channel angels of creation when you play your instrument of choice. When you paint/draw/write, allow yourself to let go of your mind and see what flows out, and then other worlds will flow thru you. Ecstatic dancing and movement meditation would be great for you. Altered states of consciousness provide you with grand inspiration. This could be reaching a mental state called “flow” where you are so immersed in what you are doing that you aren’t thinking about anything else, time flies in this state, as you’re fully in the present without mental chatter. As long as the person doesn’t let this “flow” state to interfere with the goals of Mars, the urgent tasks that they need to do, it is a great thing.

…Neptune in the 6th house –when your health isn’t top notch, it causes you to direct your energy on your inner world (if you have Mars in the 12th, 4th, or 8th house), or in teaching yourself (with Mars in the 3rd or 9th house), rather than being pragmatic in the outer world. Some people with Neptune in the 6th are not productive the way society expects you to be, then again, others will overcompensate by being extra productive and hard working, as the 6th house can suppress Neptunian qualities.

…Neptune in the 7th house –by putting others on a pedestal, you later experience disillusionment.

Whichever house Neptune is in can be the area of life that you become disillusioned.

…Neptune in the 8th house –indicates deception with shared resources, others may take money from them, or this person is vulnerable with intimacy, losing themselves in close connections…

…Neptune in the 9th house –uncertain of your beliefs, you’ve probably been disillusioned by religions and colleges.

…Neptune in the 10th house –part of you that reaches for a lofty utopian way of life, climbing a tower of spirituality, but in a more intellectual way if it is in Aquarius, or a cautious way with Neptune in Capricorn.

…Neptune in Aquarius, OR Neptune in the 11th house –you grow up to be more selfless, thinking based on the collective needs, what is best for humanity as a whole, learning from whatever mistakes you and your family member(s) made before. You are reaching towards objective thinking, you’re rationalizing rather than operating out of pride.

…Neptune in the 12th house (or Neptune in Pisces but that only applies to transits/predictive work as Neptune first entered Pisces in 2011 and will first enter Aries in 2025) –this is a chance to have spiritual visions and transcendent experiences. This person has a strong connection with god, and could even have psychic dreams. Their deep understanding about life and the universe must be kept locked away as they could frighten fainthearted souls with their depth.

–Sellieve Neptune, astrologer

If you would like an in depth astrology reading, please message me. AcaiPsycheLife.tumblr.com/readings   I also offer classes.  If you already have a general understanding of astrology and want to go deeper, I am the astrologer for you :D.  I can interpret how parts of your psyche interact with each other based on you birth chart and secondary progressions.

You Are The Light of My Life

Raphael (2014/16) x Reader

Notes: Thanks for requesting, nonnie<3 xx

Prompt: “If requests are open, do ya think you could write a Raph x chubby reader? Like she’s real insecure but he really loves her the way she is. Like because he’s so solid but she’s so soft. And he gets to protect her. She’s like the calm to his storm. And stuff. If you could that’d be awesome! Thanks!”

Word count: 744

Warnings: Swearing

Disclaimer: I don’t own TMNT, and you belong to you <3

You met the turtles when you were walking home late. Work had you wrapped around their little finger, but the money was good, and the people weren’t too bad either. Your day was good, until some asshole stole your purse and tried to run off. Long story short, Raphael, you’re knight in shining armor so to speak, handled the situation very well. By very well, I mean he beat the living shit out of the guy and told him to get a job.

 5 months later, you were dating the giant, green God, and things were great. He was quite the charmer, and made you feel so special.

You’d visit the lair almost everyday, and everyday Raph would make it his goal to make you happy and proud of yourself. Today, it would be a little more difficult for him.

There were these boys in your class, who take pleasure out of making you feel shit about yourself, and somehow they got word that you had a boyfriend. They used this against you. Telling you all these things about how he must be as worthless as you, and when you tried they laughed in your face and said worse.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if he dumped your fat ass soon!”

“He’s probably dating you for a bet!”

“Who would ever love you?”

They sneered and laughed and got your whole class involved.

And for the first time in months, you cried in front of them. They really got a kick out of that, and when you ran out of the class, it was the cherry on top.

 When you got to the lair, Raphael was already in a bad mood, and had dragged you to his bedroom. He closed the door behind you and placed you on to the bed. Then he crawled up next to you and wrapped his arms around you, burying his head in your stomach as he breathed in your scent. He loved your body. He could bury himself in you and never let go if he wanted to.

 And that’s what made you start crying. And not quiet sniffles. No, you started bawling. Raph picked his head up, looking at you with pure concern written all over his face.

“Baby girl? What’s wrong?” He sat up straight, holding your arms and pulling you into his chest. “Why ya crying, baby?” That only made you start blubbering even more, and it took quite a while to calm you down. Not that Raphael was bothered. If you were sad, he was going to find out why, and do something to solve it.

When he finally found out about why you were so upset, he was enraged. How dare they say those things to you? What gave them the right? By the time you had finished telling him everything, he was already pacing around the room, hitting things off the walls.

“Raph, please calm down.” you whispered, going over to him and wrapping your arms around his waist, your cheek against his back. “I’m sorry if-”

“[Y/N]. Shut up.” He turned around and sat you down on his bed, sitting in front of you. “Yer beautiful. I love ya. If I ever see or meet those bastards, ya better believe I’m going to beat the living shit out of them, regardless of the time of day. Ya don’t deserve to feel like this. Ya the best person I’ve ever met, and I ain’t bullshitting ya. Ya deserve the world, and I’m sorry I can’t give ya that, but I’m happy with ya, [Y/N]. I don’t know- I don’t know how I’d live without ya. Yer the- the light of my life, ya know?” He paused and stared at her. “Do not think of yerself as anything less, because yer the reason I haven’t given up. I need ya to be strong fer me. I need ya to see me as the reason yer not giving up.”

Dating Jooheon Would Include

“Okay so i saw that the request were open and ,, could you please do on of those ” Dating would include ” with Jooheon? ((imsorryimveryawkwardatthese))”

OKAY !! his blonde hair and contacts are not something i needed -  i feel threatened w o w .

Originally posted by j00h0ney

Keep reading

Houses 1, 3, and 4 say a lot about our childhood and upbringing, whereas houses 9, 10, and 11 say who we grow up to be, how we assert ourselves out in the world based upon our earlier influences. You can turn a reading into a story by describing how someone’s background (1st, 4th, and 3rd houses) led them to where they are now. If you start interpreting charts this way, you’ll gain deeper psychological insight. The easiest way to do this is to connect someone’s 4th house planets and IC, to to their 10th house planets and MC, but you can get creative and perceive even more about what is embedded in someone’s subconscious and how it plays out in their life without them realizing. By gently bringing to light the patterns in a person’s psyche, it can bring clarity about why this person is going thru various situations in their current life.

i don’t think simon understands fully when baz says he’s the sun and he was crashing into him. the sun gives every thing on earth life, life wouldn’t exist without it. simon lights up his days and his nights because moonlight is just sunlight reflected. he’s not just saying simon is his light, he’s saying simon breathed life into him after he had been dead for so long (both literally and figuratively). he became alive the second he saw simon and those famous bronze curls and blue eyes and two freckles below his left ear. simon isn’t just his light, he is life.


I am not sure of the worst kind of break up.

Is it when the person, whom you thought would never get tired of telling you that you are enough, gradually drifts because he is already in love with someone else?

Or, is it when the person, whom you thought would never leave your side, dies?

Or, is it when the person, whom you thought would support your dreams (and vice versa), decides to chase his dreams all by himself?

Or, is it when the person, whom you thought would never lose interest in you, falls out of love with you?

All breakups are heart-piercing, soul-breaking, and mind-shattering. It’s like a nightmare that actuated itself to a degree of reality to choke you. Or, an open wound that was sprinkled with salt and poured with alcohol.

It’s like you’ve seen this coming, but you never realized that it would be today, or any other day, or some day near.

Despite the thoughts of “is this the end?” everyone will still find it difficult to say the last word. Everyone would still settle for the pain because saying the last word would mean putting an end to the aspirations, memories, and traditions that were made together.

Now, what is the worst kind of break up?


Nothing is worse than finally giving up to love, to be loved, and to be in loved with the person you chose to spend every second of your life. Nothing is worse than having to go through the same path and go through with the cycle of life, without the person that brought so much light to that path and so much fuel to continue with the cycle of life.

Nothing is more breaking than breaking up with your person.

Nothing is more breaking than setting the person, who was caged in your heart, free and who, ironically, also is the same person who holds your heart, like how he holds your whole universe.


i’ve been trying to post a drawing every day so…here’s some lineless practice with allura holding… molten steel? a star? you decide.

this shitty edit took me more time than it should have

so um i somehow got to 500 followers ? i still don’t know how the fuck you all put up with me but thank you ?? i never got this far even with my other blog that i have for almost 2 years now haha

so, because i never did it before, here’s a follow forever with all my lovely mutuals that i never talk to bc i have nothing to say and am too awkward & shy but i admire you all from afar

but first, a huge thank you to @dramaqueendan and @theoncomingfrenchie. you two are literally the lights of my life, idk where i’d be without you. i had so many problems going on in my life since the beginning of the year (still have but that’s not the point) but you both helped me so much, encouraged me to keep doing what i liked and for that i’ll always be grateful. laura, elena, i love you with all my heart

if i forgot to mention you, well first of all, you can throw me into space, but also feel free to message me so i can add you !! and im sorry )):

otherwise if i tagged you but we’re not mutuals well im sorry to annoy you i guess i love you too much accept my love plz

- some of my favourite blogs (alternatively : blogs i maybe reblog too much from)

A ✩ D

@acephan ✩ @agastopiaphan ✩ @angelicboylester@angelphannie ✩ @apostbakinguniverse@asleepyphilly ✩ @astronautdan ✩ @astronomicaldan ✩ @awkward-angel-of-thursday ✩ @blueberryphil ✩ @bubblegumdan ✩ @celestialesters ✩ @chillphann ✩ @clingylester ✩ @cloudyphilip ✩ @ctrll ✩ @cultlester ✩ @cursivehowell ✩ @cypherr ✩ @dangoghs ✩ @danhowlite ✩ @danjoon ✩ @dansadmirer ✩ @dansforeheadcurl ✩ @dansucc ✩ @dantea ✩ @dantlers ✩ @dawniel ✩ @dayphil @dearlylester ✩ @denimnjh ✩ @dimplydan ✩ @dollhowell ✩ @dramaqueendan

E ✩ I

@eclipsehowelter@ecstasyphan ✩ @ethsera ✩ @fallingdan ✩ @feministdan ✩ @fetus-twink-howell ✩ @floweringlester ✩  @foreveralonephil ✩ @fringegaps ✩ @gaykery ✩  @goddesslester ✩ @goldheartedphil ✩ @gravityphil ✩ @hazyphil ✩ @hesitant-dan ✩ @howellscrunchynuts ✩ @httpsdaniel

J ✩ M

@justlyria ✩ @k-is-not-amused ✩ @less-amazing-macy ✩ @lesterial ✩ @lesterslovebite ✩ @lightninginthenightsky ✩ @literalangellester ✩ @little-lester ✩ @llguori ✩ @lovelylilaclester ✩ @lullabypj ✩ @lurkinghowell ✩  @macaronidan ✩ @mmixhowell ✩ @mochilesters@moonbeamphil@mylittlephilly

N ✩ R

@neonlester@nervouslester@opaquehowell@orbitingphan@orbitphil@orionswinter ✩ @outgoinglester@paganlester@paradisedan@pasteldoothowell@phaked@phanamored@phaneq@phanfools@phangirl-howlter@phanicornundertherainbow@phaninspired@phanperra@phantell@philledwithpuns@phillp@phillytm@philversusdan@pityhowell@plesty@princephil@princessdan@puritylester@queerdnp@queerly-cute@quitealec@rainbowshowell@ravehowell@redwoodlester@rosedxn@rosegoldjh

S ✩ V

@serenehowell@serenephil@shibainupml@sleepyphan@snugglyhowell@softdnp@softphil@softphl@softylester@sparklephil@springphil@squidgehowell@starboydan@starmadephan@sugarlipslester@sunflowerlesterr@the-phandom ✩ @theaterdan@theinternetishere@themostfuniveverhad@theoncomingfrenchie@tylertherulerofmars

W ✩ #


  • keith: i would literally die for-
  • everyone at the same time: yes, you would die for hunk, we know, you would die for hunk so fast, he's the light of your life, you would die for him without a second thought, we KNOW, you would take a bullet for hunk you'd fucking die for hunk ok we know, we get it, YOU wOULD DIE FOR HUNK. WE GET IT.
My delightful, my love, my life […] I’m so infinitely used to you that I now feel myself lost and empty: without you, my soul. You turn my life into something light, amazing, rainbowed–you put a glint of happiness on everything–always different: sometimes you can be smoky-pink, downy, sometimes dark, winged–and I don’t know when I love your eyes more–when they are open or shut. It’s eleven p.m. now: I’m trying with all the force of my soul to see you through space […]
—  Vladimir Nabokov, Letters to Véra

Shadow People

For today’s Caffeine Challenge #13 (prompts here), I tried to branch out a little with a character a bit different from my usual. This is a little bit horror, too, which is not generally my thing. Warnings for: bullying, physical violence and misgendering.

Leo ran to the side door as soon as the bell rang, shouldering his way through the crush around the lockers and slipping around the corner. The sun—oh thank god—was streaming through the big glass doors as he skidded to a stop and turned to face the white-painted cinderblock wall.

An observer, if such person had existed, would have been interested to see that his shadow was not that of a curly-haired teen. On the wall before him a grey shape stretched and wavered, and baggy jeans became the smooth straight lines of dress slacks. The wrinkled shirtcollar straightened to crisp points, and a hat formed atop the narrow head, wide-brimmed tilted just to one side.

“I’m sorry,” Leo said, clutching his notebooks to his chest. “I know you said not to do this at school, but I saw his truck outside. I think he’s waiting for me.”

The figure on the wall twitched, the shoulders rolled and long-fingered hands splayed wide.

“I know,” Leo said. “I know, but I can’t fight him alone, and if I don’t show up he’ll just go after Jack again, you know he will.” He bit his lip, looking up and down the hall. “I’ve only got a little more time before history, I don’t know what to do.”

More twitching, a ripple traveling up the wall. The hands folded, waved, cupped together like an empty bowl.

The minute bell rang, setting off shrill echoes.

“I’ll do it,” Leo said. “I’ll do anything, you know I’m good for it.”

The figure tipped its hat, then faded, until only Leo’s own outline remained.

He went to class.

He couldn’t concentrate. His leg shook under his desk, his knee jumping up and down like it had a will of its own. He dropped his pencil once, then again, then a third time. The fourth time Frances handed it back to him with a scowl. Leo tried for an apologetic smile, but it didn’t feel right on his face. Too thin, too full of teeth.

He couldn’t take any notes. He worried metal spiral on his notebook instead, flicked the corner of the paper until it turned soft-edged and pieces started coming off. His eyes kept seeking the windows, looking for some sign, but Dallas’ truck would be by the back door, on the other side of the building, and there were too many trees for the Hat Man to get enough contrast for a message.

“Leo,” Mrs. Garner said, “Can you tell me the year President Reagan took office?”

“I…” Leo tried to think. He’d studied this. He’d done the homework. He knew this. But all he could think of was the look of rage on Dallas’ face when Jack yelled back at him, and the shock of the fist in his ribs when Leo had gotten between them.

Half the class was looking at him. Someone sniggered.

If he could get to the hall he could find a good spot and at least check in.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I don’t remember. I think I might be sick.”

Mrs. Garner frowned. “There’s only thirty minutes of school left,” she said. “And if you go to the nurse you’ll lose participation points for today,”

“I know,” he said. “But I really think I might throw up.” He tried to look pathetic and nauseous. It didn’t take much effort. He could feel sweat sliding down his temple.

“Alright,” she said. “Josephine, please escort Leo to the nurse’s office.”

No, no no.

“I can get there myself—” he tried, but she shot him a quelling glance.

“You know the rules, Leo.”

He did. He did. Leo knew all sorts of rules.

Keep reading

Dear Every INFJ Ever,

You don’t have to believe every thought that enters your brain.

Your intuition, though almost, isn’t always right.

You are capable of overcoming the darkness you create.

Lasting, healthy love is possible.

Take a break. You are light. You are life.

You can be happy without feeling guilty.

One day you will love yourself equal to the way you love others.