a knife for every heart

Falling in love with someone was always something I had thought of as nothing spectacular, just a part of life, but I realised it isn’t.
A person talks to you and like magic the way you see them starts to change. You start to notice the way a fire appears in their eyes, just before they smile. You notice how they pronounce some words different from the rest of the people and the small frown on their forehead when they are in thought.
You start to memorise the way they walk and recognise the way they call your name.
You’ll know when they’re behind you by their scent and you’ll be able to know when are genuinely happy or just smile politely.
You’ll feel yourself getting all nervous by just texting with them and you get that weird feeling in your stomach, like someone is pulling a knot. A smile will appear on your face by just reading their name somewhere.
And the most peculiar thing is, that even though you don’t have any problems, when they do it feels like a knife is being stabbed in your heart. Not just once, but with every step you take you feel the knife being stabbed in your heart again, until you know they are alright. You care so much, even though they’re just a person like you are.
Science tells us it is chemistry, just a form of behaviour that prevents us from extinction. But tell me, how can someone explain a feeling so pure with just one word: chemistry?
—  Chemistry (?)

flame-cat  asked:

bear with me here- so gavin screws up a lot right? like the heist is going great, but then oops, wasnt watching my back, now the cops know where we are- oh were escaping, great let me just shoot- oh thats a flare gun not a pistol, etc, so they spend HOURS just running, jack nearly drowns when they go for jet skis, michael gets shot in the shoulder, jeremy rolls his ankle, gavin gets a lovely gash down his arm, until finally, with lots of explosives, they get back to base, and theyre all (1/?)

beaten up and tired and soaked and fucking PISSED at gavin. geoff rips him a new asshole with a lecture, ryan growls and swears and adds on, michael and jeremy are LIVID but in the cold shoulder way, and jack is pointedly ignoring everyone in favor of just going the fuck home. gavins just shell shocked, ashamed, and so fucking guilty, so he just takes it all. geoff gives him the rest of the night to have EVERYTHING from the heist wiped (2/?)

(“they know about like four of our safe houses now, those better be burned to the fucking ground-”). everyone leaves, and gavin sets up to work, freezing and wet with a soaked towel on his shoulders. the heatings turned off (everyone else left) and so is the light, so he hunkers down with a hot mug of coffee. it takes him like an hour before he breaks down crying because hes tired and cold and in pain and he FUCKED UP SO BAD and thats the worst of it, hes so SCARED theyre gonna kick him out(3/?)

he does everything he can as fast as he can, double and triple checking (because in his state he fucks up a Lot, the screen is blurry and his eyes burn) because like hell is he fucking up his one chance at redemption. but geoff doesnt come in next day, or any of the others- resting, taking the day off. geoff actually thought gav had gone home, felt bad when he woke up but still not enough to call and check on him. unfortunately gavin is a moron and doesnt notice time passing, doesnt notice (4/?)

the day slip by until its the day after, and hes ALMOST done with this huge one man job, halfway through checking everything, eyes bleary and hes shivering and REALLY cold, and his head HURTS, and everything aches and he doesnt know when he started that dry cough but he HAS TO FIGHT THROUGH IT, when ryan comes in. gavin fucking jumps out of his seat, and ryan immediately feels bad because god he looks just like the last he saw him but worse, like hes dead on his feet (5/?)

he feels bad when he tells gavin geoff will be around in a few minutes, worse when gavin FREAKS THE FUCK OUT, pulling his hair and shaking so badly and mumbling incoherent panic, and then geoff does come in, sees gavin in this STATE, and he feels terrible, and gavins practically begging for just a little more time, he was almost done, and geoff tells him its ok, hes not mad, really, you can have more time, and geoff leaves thinking gavin hasnt been here the whole time, not quite knowing (6/?)

how bad his lad is doing until he hears a crash from gavins office and gavins just shaking on the floor, had gotten up just a little too fast (he claims, really hes just so weak he cant stand without collapsing) and geoff rushes over and hes burning up but shivering, and gav is practically delusional with fatigue because like hell did he think to actually eat or sleep or drink something other than coffee or redbull, and he cant fucking BREATHE because hes coughing so bad and sobbing (7/?)

because its all just so fucking much, and geoff is just holding him and trying to ask WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED and gavin finally tells him everything, but geoff is confused because today isnt thursday, its friday? and gavin is confused because that cant be right, but it is and geoffs worry fucking skyrockets and he feels SO BAD. and oops, sleep deprivation means lowered immune systems, and so do unchanged bandages, and gavin trys to stand but he barely manages before geoff has to catch him (8/?)

but gavin just KEEPS INSISTING hes fine and geoff has to slowly pick apart the situation as he drives gavin home, carries him into bed, gets him food and water and MAKES HIM finish it before resting, and every new bit of information sends a knife into his heart. and turns out oops, gavin has the flu, and geoff is Not letting him alone in this state so he calls the others to tell then the situation. and next he knows gavin is coughing and hacking up phlegmy shit, (9/10)

and OOPS TURNS OUT ITS PNEUMONIA but the crew is still on high alert, he cant take gavin to the hospital, so he calls ryan who calls jeremy who calls michael who calls geoff who calls jack and theyre all on gavs apartment trying to take care of him with what they have and gavin, in his state, feels HORRIBLE because hes causing them trouble, fucked up again, but they tell him NO WERE WORRIED DONT DO THAT AGAIN, and gavin still does it but thats the worst time by far (10/10)

FUCK YEAH THIS IS MY SHIT!!!! I love all of this yes. poor gavvers. he doesn’t always take the blame, doesn’t always feel guilty for his mistakes. but when he does. when he does it is immense and painful and gavin will do anything and everything to make it up to them. his health doesn’t matter to them right now, his skills do and his hacking does so thats whats he’s going to do

but the others assure him, later when they see the extent of damage he’s done to himself, that they aren’t truly mad. they aren’t going to kick him out, they all still want him, need him, there with them. and they all help gavin get well, silently agreeing to make sure it never gets this bad again

in psychology class
we’re taught that borderline means destruction, means violence, means uncontrollable rage, means abuse
borderline means monster
but from what i have experienced
borderline means you’re more likely to be abused than abuser
more likely to be taken advantage of
because you don’t want to be abandoned
you need love, validation, approval
you’re frantic to please people so that you can feel okay with yourself
and every emotion cuts like a knife to the heart
when someone tells you you’re bad, or that you’ve messed up
your heart screams in pain
it burns, it squirms, it writhes in absolute agony
your mind begs “stop! please, god, make it stop, make this horror stop, if i have to endure another minute of this excruciating torture i would surely rather die!”
so you blurt out “i know. i’m sorry. i’m terrible. it’s my fault. i swear, i’ll be better.”
not only to stop your soul from being ripped apart by guilt, but because you truly believe that you have caused harm upon a person you love, and that you are a horrible, disgusting person
so that makes you vulnerable
because the pain of enduring the emotional anguish of feeling inadequate is more painful than the abuse that they inflict

3

“I am your mother. And I will love you, no matter what.
                                                   But lie to me now… you will break my heart.
                     Oswald. Have you done things you should not?”

Keep Calm and Ship Jonsa

Deep breaths, everyone. Breeeeathe! Repeat after me: All drama is rooted in conflict. If there’s no conflict, we may as well watch paint dry. Boatb*ng was always going to happen. But is it some epic romance which will be passed down from Westorosi generation to generation? Maybe. I don’t think so. What it will do is add layers to our precious babies. Here’s how:

Sansa:

There is no doubt in my mind that Sansa is going to make it out of all of this alive. Her story’s been ramped up way too much since season 4 for me to think otherwise. As acting queen she is the polar opposite of the other two queens fighting over control of the realm. While the others are consumed by a need to obtain absolute power, Sansa is the only one actually ruling. She’s looking out for her people, and she’s really the only one equipped with the sensibilities to rebuild Westoros after the Great War. 

The conflict with Arya is trite. I don’t like it. And I consider it a really lazy creative choice to pit two sisters, who’ve been through hell, together. But it will serve a greater purpose. Arya has been trained to act and think like an assassin. After 7x05, I thought she and Sansa were in cahoots to take Littlefinger down but that doesn’t seem to  be the case. Now, if Arya begins to undermine or even threaten Sansa, and by the finale, if Sansa manages to outmaneuver her, who comes out on top? Who comes out looking like they are indeed fit to hold a leadership position? Who comes out looking like they can lead the smallfolk through the Long Night? That’s right–SANSA!

And once she realizes that the north actually is in good hands, who’s going to pledge Sansa her loyalty? Arya. I hate that D&D are going down this route, but hey conflict makes drama. I also have a hunch that if this is how it all plays out, Arya’s going to see herself unfit to be at Winterfell and head off to fight the white walkers.

Jon:

Now, as much as I want Jon to head to Winterfell, be outed as a Targ, and make babies with Sansa…that was never going to happen. Not until the very end (*fingers crossed**prayer circle initiated*). Boatb*ng is a certainty but I’m convinced it’s going to happen because Jon needs to secure the dragons and Daenerys’ army for the Great War. Double-agent Jon, engage!

I think this for several reasons. The first being that Jon has already done this before. Yes, Jon caught the feelings for Ygritte, but their relationship was founded on his need to prove he was a turncloak so he could infiltrate the wildlings. When he had to choose, he chose his duty to the Night’s Watch.

To Jon, his duty is everything. And after his resurrection, his one and only duty has been to protect the North, and the realm at large from White Walkers. Which brings me to my second reason for thinking Jon is a double-agent: The knife to the heart. While it was different in the books, Jon was stabbed in the show because he offered the wildlings refuge south of the wall. To protect them from the white walkers. I think it’s really interesting that “the knife to the heart” is brought up every now and then. Because while I’m sure Jon doesn’t need reminding, it reminds the audience WHY he was stabbed. And by bending the knee to Daenerys, HE knows he may very well face another mutiny if he ever makes it back home. Our boy isn’t stupid. He knows exactly what the consequences for boatb*ang will be, but he’s willing to be stabbed again because his first and only duty is to protect his people from White Walkers.And while that puts a dampener on our ship, I think it’s really poignant that he’s willing to fall from Sansa’s grace to protect her and their whole family.

Add to this the fact that he isn’t even a Stark and is actually The Enemy™ and we have peak drama. So yes, we don’t like seeing out favorite characters make difficult choices and suffer but that’s storytelling for ya. Shit’s going to get worse before they get better. 

anonymous asked:

"no. no, no, no — you really don’t want me as a soulmate." with jason todd please? for the angsty soulmate thing?

okay, so I wanted to do something a little different with this, because I don’t want to just use the same au for every prompt, you know? so for this one shot I’m going with an au where everyone feels an invisible magnetic pull towards their soulmate, and it gets stronger the closer you get to them. (not gonna lie, I’m reading the night circus by erin morgenstern right now, and this au is heavily based off of that book but with a soumate-y twist lmao) I hope that explanation makes sense.

jason’s backstory is also cool for this because it lets me think about what would happen to the soulmate bond if one person died, so here’s your official content warning for angst, character death, and some minor medical body horror.

prompt is from this list!



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(a rewrite of That Scene from ep. 59, between percy and vex in the feywild the night before syngorn. with a few changes, though – just because i have some Feelings about trans lady vex, and how well that particular headcanon feeds into her specific insecurities regarding her appearance and how she is perceived and judged, and how Anxious she is about going back to a place where people knew her as a kid.)

tw for implied past transphobia, and mentions of unhappy childhoods / mild past child abuse

[ao3]

“Percy,” said Vex, abruptly, her tone suddenly… not quite sombre, but considerably more serious than it usually was. There was none of the light, easy teasing, almost flirting, he’d grown so used to, and it worried him. Vex was rarely serious. “Change of subject. Would you say I look put together? Well-off? With this armour, I mean.”

There was a long moment’s silence, where Percy attempted to parse the question – not just what she’d said, but what she meant. The two were so often entirely different things, he’d discovered, not just with Vex, but with her brother, too. “Hmm,” he said, eventually, careful and thoughtful, “in what sense?

“Well,” she said, a little impatiently, words carried quickly off the tip of her tongue by the anxiety cold down her spine. “You come from money, right?” She barely waited for him to nod before continuing. “Right. So, um. Do I look like… like I come from money?”

It was such a simple question, so oddly honest coming from Vex, that Percy nearly laughed. The look on Vex’s face, the naked vulnerability, stopped him – made him settle down and sit on the edge of the bed next to her instead, brows drawn together – but it was a near thing. “Honestly, dear,” he said, smiling a slightly crooked smile through his concern, “you’re too happy to look like you come from money.”

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Safe Haven

A/N: based on a true story.

Prompt: Harry comforts you during an anxiety attack or in which Jordan writes from experience

Tag List: @linmanuclmiranda @always-blame-jefferson

Masterlist | Request!

~

So, there you were, sitting on the cold kitchen floor, crying your eyes out. How did you end up here? Well, it all started because of a missing comb. Yes, a comb. You were rushing around the house, desperately looking for your comb and you couldn’t find it anywhere. You had to be to work in fifteen minutes and time was not on your side. Usually, you wouldn’t mind being a few minutes late to work, but you had two back-to-back meetings. Before you know it, you were bawling your eyes out. Frantically shouting out prayers in hopes that God would hear you and lead you to your comb.

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anonymous asked:

you KNEW all of this, you knew how yuuri twisted the knife into viktor's heart even further with every glare and every hateful word he directed at viktor, this whole time you knew and you still loved and defended yuuri just as much as you did viktor. bless you reiya!

This was one of the reasons why I kept insisting that Yuuri had a lot to apologize for! Even though he thought he was always doing the right thing he often wasn’t. A lot of people were saying they liked the fact that people knew about Yuuri’s anxiety by the end of the fic because it meant they would understand they were all wrong about him but a lot of people opinions of Yuuri do have a basis in fact, even if they aren’t all correct. And he can’t just pull a ‘I have anxiety’ get out of jail free card and be blameless. He had his reasons for what he did and they made sense to him at the time but that doesn’t excuse him from the consequences. Just like how even though Viktor didn’t mean to hurt Yuuri all those years ago but still did and therefore has to apologize, Yuuri also didn’t mean to hurt Viktor but he did and he needs to apologize and make up for that.  

part of her mystery is how she is calm in the storm and anxious in the quiet. 

You look down at your hands and no matter how much you tell yourself that things will be okay, you know they will never be okay. You curl your fingers into your palm, forming small fists but your hands are still shaking. Your chest hurts and every beat of your heart feels like a knife stabbing you. You swallow hard, trying not to think because that is where it all started.

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anonymous asked:

Can you please write Alex and 15?xx

“Don’t die on me– Please.”

From this prompt post!

Originally posted by juddxdunkelheit


**SPOILER ALERT; POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNING**

The beeping of the machine cut through you every second. It was constant and should have been soothing, knowing that his heart was still beating. But, every beep could be the last one and that uncertainty was like a knife in your heart, twisting every couple of seconds.

It had started a couple of weeks ago. Alex had been shaken up after Hannah’s suicide, to say the least. But things really started going downhill about a week after, with Alex withdrawing from you, only speaking to you every so often when you’d confront him in the halls, and avoiding eye contact. You found out that he was smoking with his friends every day now, ditching school, not showing up for any band practices and even storming off in a fit when he was supposed to be playing at a memorial benefit concert.

And then the day had come, when Alex wasn’t in class, when you were pulled out of class by Mr. Porter. Where two policemen and the principal awaited you in the hall. One look at their faces, and you knew something was up. “Alex…Alex is in the hospital.”

So two minutes later you were in your car speeding down the freeway towards King Hospital, weaving through traffic with tears streaming down your face. Five minutes after that, you were furiously arguing with the young receptionist.

“I’m sorry, Miss. I can’t release room information, only to his immediate family members.”

“Please! I need to see him!”

“Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to calm down.” She smiled in a condescending, sickeningly sweet way, not breaking eye contact with you as she pressed a button on the intercom, whispering “Security to the main desk please.”

“I’m his girlfriend, we’ve been together for five years, I need to see him!”

Luckily for you, Sheriff Standall rounded the corner, looking disheveled in a wrinkled tee shirt, and jeans with a couple of large stains on them. “Y/N!” He smiled wanly as he walked towards you. As he got closer, you noticed the bags under his eyes and the few days of stubble lining his cheeks. 

“Hi, Sheriff Standall.”

“Jeanine, security won’t be necessary. Thank you.” Jeanine shot me a wicked glare, smiling towards the Sheriff. “Of course, sir.”

Mr. Standall gestured towards the elevator, following me inside. He pressed the “5″ button, and the two of you rode up the first two floors in silence. “Y/N…”he broke the quiet, which was heavy in the air, trailing off. “Alex isn’t injured because…he…” He broke off again, rubbing the bridge of his nose with his thumb and his forefinger.

“Alex is in the hospital because he tried to kill himself.” Your mouth dropped, and tears welled up again as you covered your mouth with your hand. 

“Why?” was the only strangled noise that you could make. With that, the elevator dinged and Mr. Standall motioned down the hallway. “Room 504.” He stepped out behind you, grasping your elbow tightly as you sagged against him. “Why?” You looked up at him again. 

He just shook his head. “I don’t know.”

You opened the door to the room quietly, Sheriff Standall walking closely behind. “Y/N…it will be a bit of a shock. He’s in a coma. Just…be prepared.”

Alex was lying in the bed, his face as pale white as the sheets. A large white bandage was wrapped tightly around his head, and a plastic tube was in his mouth. His chest rose and fell slowly, and barely. A needle was in his arm, and the number of other tubes and IV’s that were flowing to and from him were uncountable. You let out a strangled cry and fell into the chair next to the bed, grabbing on to his free hand. “Oh my god, baby.” Sheriff Standall rubbed your back, and quietly left the room. Your breathing grew labored, as you rubbed his hand with yours. His hand was limp and cold. Alex looked small in the bed, with the only signs of life coming from the slight rise and fall of his chest and the occasional beeping of the heart monitor. You dropped your head onto the bed, quietly whispering, “Don’t die on me- please.”

You closed your eyes, a tear dripping onto the bed. You were so preoccupied with your thoughts you just barely noticed the twitch of his left pinky finger.


A/n: suicide is NEVER the answer; if any of my followers are having any issues whatsoever please please come talk to me, talk to a friend, talk to a counselor or therapist- just talk to someone. You matter. You matter a lot.

Top 5 - Anidala/Vaderdala fan vids

for @jedifest16′s Top Picks challenge

Herein lie enshrined the five Anidala/Vaderdala fan vids that I viewed most this year. Prepare thyself for feels. 


1. Where’s my love? by AnneSoshi 

Oh my god, this fan vid.  So haunting. No matter how many times I see it, it still physically HURTS. The editing, clips, voiceovers, and music flow together to create the most exquisitely painful Anidala vid ever. 

2. Somebody To Die For by koppiezus

Another that I’ve watched many, many times this past year, this is an absolutely lovely fan vid that evokes my Hades and Persephone/Death and the Maiden feels for these two. The part where it says “when i’m standing in the fire, I will look him in the eye, and I will let the Devil know that I was brave enough to die”, I tear up, every time. But ultimately, I love this one so much because not only is the editing and music combo just gorgeous, but it also has an uplifting feeling to it at the end, telling us not to “go gentle into that good night, but to rage on against the dying light”.  

3. ’Cause I’ll remember you by anakinspadme

Probably the fan vid I watched more than any other this year. The perfect depiction of Anidala-as-fairytale. The lyrics are absolutely beautiful – Anakin as the ‘charming prince’ with a ‘warm soul and arms of steel’. I mean, how perfect is that? And Padme as the ‘angel who prayed for him’. *sob* I adore everything about this one – the song choice, the editing, the colours. Palps as the ‘evil hag’, lol. ;D And when it says ‘though the shadows tried to keep our hearts away forever, it never came true’, I get such chills and my heart swells at the same time. And finally, the ending. is. perfection. Force ghost!Anakin and Padme looking happily upon their children at the end of RotJ. WHAT MORE CAN YOU WANT? :’) 

4. long after you’re gone by GandalfsTruth

A seriously awesome fanvid that manages to capture the essence of both Anidala and Vaderdala all at the same time. I included this one here because not only is it beautifully constructed, but it also stands out from the crowd. It’s just so unique. The music choice, especially. But it totally works, and is all the more memorable for it. Perfectly edited for maximum feels. GO WATCH THIS NOW.

5. Echo by MEOW.DK

Lord Vader, standing on the bridge of his Star Destroyer, looking out ‘across the stars’ while thinking of his beloved Padme. In other words, THE quintessential Vaderdala fan vid. I JUST LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT OKAY. The clever overlaying of PT and OT clips is just…. omg, ahhhh. So well done, and perfectly captures the ‘romantic’ side to ‘Vaderkin’ that IS TOTALLY REAL SHUT UP IT IS. I am not ashamed to admit this one makes me weep sad and lonely Sith-lord tears every time. The ending is the sort of knife to the heart that you gladly welcome.  For me, this is not just ‘headcanon’, but is up there with other Vaderdala fanworks like the famous ‘Vader’s dream’ as CANON. 

Breaking Broken Hearts [Jin Angst]

THIS IS PART 1, FIND PART 2 HERE!

Genre: Pink Princesseu sadness and angst and tears and a lot of heart breaking moments.

Words: 1500+

“If the heart is the strongest muscle, then why does it break so easily?”

Originally posted by pangguk


Nothing hurts more than realising that no matter what you do for him, he’ll always make her his number one. And no matter how much you wished it was the other way around, you were always going to be his second choice.

It was his Jin’s birthday. A day where you could show him how much he actually means to you. A day where it was supposed to be perfect with only the two of you, hanging out. A day that was supposed to make him realize that you would do anything and everything for him.

It was supposed to be you and him. Not you alone, in this dark room.

Jin had promised to come home earlier. Even though it was his birthday, the boys still needed to perform their new song. It was just good since you knew all the fans were looking forward to it. And you had time for yourself to get everything ready until he got home.

You prepared his favourite food and made the kitchen look nicer than usual. It was tiring and you almost burned yourself several times while cooking. But what didn’t you do for him?


It was past 8pm when you started to get nervous. What if he forgot or couldn’t make it?
You picked up your phone, dialed his number and pressed your phone against your ear as you waited. Your call went straight to the voicemail making your heart drop.

Did he just ignore you?

You sank down on the chair and looked down at your hands. You knew where he was. You knew really well what he was doing.

Her. He was with her. Of course he was with her. Of course he would celebrate his big day with her. He still loved her after all.

You felt stupid, pathetic, hurt and crazy for loving a boy you knew would never see you as a girlfriend. You felt like breaking down, right there. Because it hurt more than anything. Because you knew the truth since the begining but kept hiding it from yourself. You knew everything was just a dream that wouldn’t come true. A dream that you’ve dreamed of since the two of you were in kindergarten,

Getting up, you started to clean the kitchen. Taking down the decorations and cleaning the table. Once you were done, you felt empty. Your heart felt empty. Empty but at the same time heavy. Could that even be possible?

You were tired, exhausted. Was your heart even able to stand more pain?Because you seriously wanted to give up. You wanted nothing but leave. Not only was you acting like an obsessed love sick idiot, but you were too naive to realize that you were blind because of love.

Maybe you really were dumb for being in love with a boy you knew was impossible to have


It was past 1am when you heard the front door open. You heard his voice, he was talking on the phone with her. He was laughing at something she was saying.

“She’s probably asleep, I’ll talk to her tomorrow” you heard him say as he came closer to your shared bedroom. You got a hard grip on the duvet and shut your eyes hard.

“Yeah, good night. I’ll see you tomorrow. Yeah, I love you

You pressed the duvet against your heart and shut your eyes harder to prevent the tears from falling. 

You heard Jin walking around the room but you had no idea what he was doing until you peeked up at him.

He was packing. Packing his clothes. He was leaving. He was leaving you for her. He finally got her back and was leaving.

You shut your eyes again and pressed your face into the pillow that started to get wet because of your tears while cluthcing your heart and keeping your mouth shut.

That night was one of the hardest night for you. As you laid there, beside him with the thought of him leaving you the next morning hurt. It broke you apart. The thought of not being able to wake up next to him after today killed you. It made your heart beat slower and extremly painfully.


As the morning came, you woke up after him. You wanted to stay there and stop the time. You weren’t ready to let him go although you knew it was the best thing to do for the both of you.

You found him in the livingroom after that you had brushed your teeth and got ready, with the suitcase beside him as he looked down to his phone, his fingers typing on the screen. He was still looking down at his phone when you came closer before he realised that you was there and placed his phone away.


“Hey” he greeted you and patted on the couch beside him. You gave him a small smile and sat down beside him.

It’s the last time I can sit this close to you, you thought.

“I’m sorry I didn’t come home last night… I got invited to a party and… Nana was there. You know I can’t say no to her, she’s my best friend. I hope you understand that” he explained and looked at you.

You nodded once.

“And I have something I want to tell you”

It was now. He was going to say it.

“Maybe… maybe we should break up? I’m not sure if I love you as a girlfriend. I see you as one of my closest friends. I’m… I’m in love with Nana. I’ve been in love with her since day one. You already know that… but now that I know that she loves me too, I want to make it work. I want her” As those sentences left his lips, you just felt your heart break into thousand of thousand pieces. You felt like your lungs were being ripped away and that someone was stabbing your heart with a knife every living second.

I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m sorry that you had to hear this. I know how you feel about me. I know you like me and that you care about me and I’m thankful for that. But I honsetly can’t control whom I fall in love with” he said and grabbed your cold hands in his big, warm ones.

You nodded again while tears streamed down your face. You haven’t been able to look at him at all since you first saw him on the couch earlier. You haven’t been able to open your mouth and tell him how you feel. 

That you don’t like him, that you love him. Love him with alll that you had.

“I’ll leave this house since it’s both ours. You can stay here, everything is yours from now on. And… please, try to forget about me, about us” he said quietly and squeezed your hands before letting them go making you finally look at him.

“I will leave. It’s your house. It was never mine to begin with. Please, stay here” you said quitely, afraid that your voice would break.

You stood up and I walked to the bedroom where you closed the door, locked it and sank down on the floor with your back pressed against the door. It was there you completely broke down. Letting the tears run down your face.

You knew this day would come sooner or later, but you didn’t expect the pain that would come with it. You didn’t expect your heart pounding so slow and painfully. You didn’t knew you had more than a heart. Because everytime you thought about it, it felt like your heart was breaking over again. Love was making you go insane. You didn’t expect it to rip you apart.

Because that’s what it was doing to you. It broke you, completely.

You started to pack your things while wiping away your tears every 3 seconds. You stopped when you heard that you got a message. Picking your phone up from the night stand, you saw it was from Nana.

From Nana 5/12-2015 10:16am:
“Who won? Guess he still loves me, don’t you think?”

And then another.

From Nana 5/12-2015 10:17am:
“I told you to give up. It would be a lot easier for all three of us.”

You clenched your fists and sat down on the bed and started to write something back before sending it.

“I love him. I didn’t give up because I love him more than anything else. I’m not angry at him. I’m just worried that he will get hurt, because of you.”

To be honest, you were never angry at him for loving her. You knew from the start how much she meant to him and how many things he has done for her. You three was best friends since kindergarten. It has always been like that. You loving him, he loving her, her loving another.

You still remember the day he showed up at your doorstep, drenched because of the rain. He looked so broken, so hurt and so lifeless. All because of her.

Will you even be able to forget about that night? Will you even be able to protect his heart from getting hurt again?

You knew that Nana’s talent was to break hearts, you didn’t want her to hurt Jin’s heart again. But was he going to listen to you? He was blindly in love with her, just like you were in love with him.

Were you going to let her break him apart again? Were you going to let that break you apart? Were you going to let broken hearts break again?


HI MY BUTTERFLIES! It’s been over a week since last time and oh gosh, I’ve missed writing soooo much! I know you missed me.

I was supposed to post a scenario on Jin’s birthday to celebrate his big day with you guys, but I had so much to do. This week has been very hectic and I’m so happy that it’s over. 

2 more weeks and then I’m free from school. Caaaaaaaan’t wait!!!

So back to the scenario. What did you think of it? Did you like it or nah? I honsetly don’t know since I’m totally dead in the head since BTS MV.

Oh, now that we’re talking about the MV. WHAT. THE, HECK?!?! I know I’m not the only one that has the biggest “wtf?” in my head rn. It srsly was soooooo good. It was perfect. But whyyyyy did they do this to us? I was so freaking confused and I don’t know what theory I should believe…

I’m honestly strating to get a headache because of this again lmao.


Please let me know what you thought of “Breaking Broken Hearts”! 

I love u all and thank you so much for reading! And thank you for 500+ followers!

Click here for my masterlist!

Originally posted by hugtae

(The traffic dance gif is not mine. Ctto)

Every Inch Of My Heart
 

Characters: Castiel, reader, Sam, Dean

Pairing: Castiel x reader

Warnings: angst, blood, fluff

Word count: 2398

Summary: Cas is being manipulated by the other angels, brainwashed to believe things that aren’t true, and you try to convince him that the right path is with you and the Winchesters

A/N: legit the most cheesy fic I’ve ever written

“Y/N, you haven’t slept in days” Sam said in his concerned voice. He was right, you hadn’t. Him and Dean had talked about you, the way you were acting, but you acted like you didn’t over hear the conversation they had about you in the kitchen.

“I’m fine, thank you” you told Sam and you continued to look through the same lore book you had been looking through for 5 hours.

“Y/N” Dean said, but you stopped him before he could continue.

“I’m not sleeping until we fix him” you said, your eyes still fixed on the lore book. Sam and Dean both looked between each other. They knew how much Cas meant to you, he meant a lot to all of you, but mostly you. You and Cas fell in love, he was the only person you’d ever felt that connection with, and with out him you were lost.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Could you do deacon mac and nick react to meeting the f!ss and they look just like their ex? (Rachel, Lucy, and Jenny? )

Deacon – He couldn’t believe his eyes. This agent, this woman he’s been following around for ages now looked so much different up close and personal. She looked so much like…her. His Barbara. His lost love. Her hair, her eyes, even her damn smile looked so much like her. Desdemona was expecting him to say something, yet all he could do was stare down at this woman would had just trudged through the catacombs and plunged a proverbial knife into Deacon’s heart. He tried to scramble for words to take the attention off of himself, he tried to come up with something to say but for once in his life words had failed him. The woman looked up at him, confused and a little conscious of herself, probably because she has a minigun trained on her and some creepy guy staring down at her behind black sunglasses. She blinked and brushed the hair away from her face, the golden glint of her wedding ring snapping Deacon out of it like a slap to the face. “Uh, yeah! Sorry boss. I’ll vouch for her. Just heard so much good stuff about her, I was half expecting her to be part cyborg or something” Oh you fucking idiot what a shitty thing to say to Des. A cyborg?? Really? Dammit Deacon. The rest of the conversation went by with Deacon struggling not to look at her and show the turmoil bubbling to the surface within him. It was easier to manage because he’s been doing it his whole life, but normally he is pre-warned to armour up his heart. This time though, it was a critical hit and Deacon could almost feel himself bleeding at sheer sight of this woman.

MacCready – He spotted her as soon as she walked into the back room of the Third Rail. His eyes widened immediately, fixed on the form of a woman he could have sworn was Lucy or at least her identical twin. The two Gunners in front of him was quickly forgotten as he watched her take a seat, a bottle of beer in hand with a dog at her feet. A shove to his shoulder caught his attention and brought him back to the rather terse argument he was having. Once the guys left, his heart was hammering. It was just him and her in the backroom and he was torn. Should he talk to her? Should he just walk out? The woman beat him too it though, asking him about what that argument was about, but Mac just shrugged it off, his face blushing profusely as he studied her. The same coloured eyes looked back at him, the same shaped face and lips that he already knew so damn well. How was this even possible? Of course he’d know it wasn’t her. He’d seen Lucy get torn apart by those ghouls back in DC, but goddamn this woman look so much like her that with each passing second he could feel his heart pumping out pain and the lungs in his chest constricting sorely. When she asked how much his services were, he very nearly said he wasn’t in the market but something made him blurt his price anyway. He didn’t want to be hurt anymore but just looking at this woman alone, but in the same token, he’d regret it if he never saw her again.

Nick Valentine – He saw the fleeting image of his rescuer’s face through the small window of the overseer’s office in Vault 114 and immediately, images and memories of a man he never was flashed through his synthetic mind. Jenny. Sure enough, as soon as the door slid open a woman walked through, her eyes finding Nick who stared blankly in shock. Jenny’s smile flicked behind his eyes and a face so familiar yet belonging to a stranger gazed back at him in silence. She wore the same polite smile when meeting someone new, she had the same hair colour and style as the woman that had stolen the real Nick’s heart and as she greeted him, an uneasy shiver ran up Nick’s spine. He greeted her calmly despite the torrent of shock and pain that coursed throughout his synthetic body, seemingly carried through every limb by the very coolant that kept him running. She was so beautiful, so polite, so…Jenny, that Nick found himself wishing that Skinny Malone had just plugged him in the head and ended it right then and there so he wouldn’t have to see this woman and experience the flash of white hot pain. This can’t be happening, he was malfunctioning or the circuits in his brain must have somehow crossed because this was not Jenny and the coincidence of meeting a stranger who looked almost identical to her was just too remote to be true. Despite his unease however, Nick would help her, always grimacing to himself whenever he saw her because it was like a knife being twisted in his heart every damn time their eyes met.

Allison Argent x Reader:  You Haven’t Said It Once.

Originally posted by welcometohellsxx

Request: YESS a part 2 please!!! The imagine was amazing! Part 2 about them trying to rebuild their relationship on trust or something like that

A/N: I did my best with this request, even though I wrote the first part a long time ago, I really like how this one turned out. 

Part 1 can be found *here*! 

Also Merry Christmas to anyone who celebrates it! And Happy Hanukkah for anyone who celebrates it!!


Allison… didn’t know what to do.
It had been two months since the both of you had decided to try to see if a relationship could work out again. Dates had become regular between the two of you. She had even called you a few times when it was late at night because she knew your voice was the only thing that would put her to sleep. She would drift off to sleep while your sleepy words rang in her ears.

You two had a bunch of study sessions that drifted off to the two of you cuddling and kissing until one of you needed to leave. You had called her sniffling after a fight with your family.

She really thought that she could trust you, and it seemed like you trusted her again too.

And yet, she still had no idea what was going on between the two of you.

Because of one word.

One word that you just would not even dare to utter.

Girlfriend.

You wouldn’t call her your girlfriend.

Through everything that the two of you had been through, and you didn’t even think about calling her your girlfriend.

She glanced at you out of the corner of her eye with a sigh.

What am I supposed to do?

Allison knew that she hurt you. She knew that you needed time to rebuild your connection and trust. She tried her best to respect that, and she thought that she had. She wanted to do her best to respect you and to try to move on.

Allison couldn’t stop the knife that went through her heart every single time you came up with something else to call her.

Friend. Girl from school. Tutor. Study partner…

The list went on.

Her stomach was tying itself up, making her feel heavier than steel. She was pulled out of her thoughts with a sharp gasp as you gently touched her arm with soft eyes. “Alli, what’s wrong?”
Her body relaxed into your touch and a tiny smile appeared on her face, head tilting to the side as she nodded. “Nothing. Nothing’s wrong,” she whispered as she turned her hand over and squeezed yours.

You furrowed your eyebrows as the corners of your mouth pinched in the corners before you sighed, accepting her answer. You squeezed her hand back before you turned back to the table’s conversation. Allison’s eyes drifted towards your connected hands as she pressed her lips together.

This. This was why she could deal with this heavy and heart wrenching stabbing. Even if you didn’t want to label it, you cared about her. She couldn’t act like you not calling her a girlfriend suddenly destroyed your feelings for her.


You, Allison, and Malia sat on the couch in the middle of the party, talking with everyone in the room. During a lull in the conversation, Allison turned towards you and said that she was getting drinks, a smile coming across her face as she felt you shiver slightly from her breath on your neck. She stood up and quickly made her way into the kitchen, grabbing the drinks before she rushed back to the couch.

Just as she stepped back into the living room, still not being able to see you from the crowd, her mouth went dry as she heard a girl from one of the other schools speak to you.

“Are you and Malia dating?” the cheerleader teased with raised eyebrows.

Allison moved her head to the side to catch a glimpse at your face, wanting to gauge your reaction. Her body went cold as she saw your flustered stance, eyes glancing down, and you struggled for something to say. 

She stood still for a few moments, not sure what to do. Her breath hitched as she realized that Malia had changed the topic of conversation. 

She didn’t hear you deny it.

Allison blinked rapidly as she rushed outside, dropping the drinks in her hands somewhere along the way. She wrapped her arms around her as the night air stung her lungs with every breath. Allison clenched her jaw as she paced in the backyard of a stranger’s house, thankful that no one else was out here.

She thought that she could handle the painfully slow pace that you two were going at. However, she couldn’t handle the fact that your first instinct wasn’t to deny that you were in a relationship with Malia. What if you didn’t care about her in that way? What if you cared about Malia that way? What if you couldn’t even think about dating her because of what she did, and you just didn’t want to reject her when she asked you out?

Her most sordid and terrifying nightmare was happening right in front of her. She let out a deep breath through her mouth, lips flapping as she did. She needed to calm down.

“Allison?”

Her eyes widened and she wiped at them before she turned towards you. “Yeah?”

You pressed your lips together. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” She shook her head.

You looked down with a scrunched up face, hurt flaming up in your chest. “Don’t lie to me Allison, please,”

She looked over at you for a moment before she sighed and shut her eyes. Allison licked her lips. “Do you actually think this could work out?”

Your breath hitched as you struggled for something to say. “If what could work out?”

“Us. Me and you. Do you think that it can work? Or did I mess it up when I ended it?”

You took a deep breath as you spoke, each word chosen carefully. “I…. don’t think it’s ruined. I thought we were working back to a good relationship. I thought we were fine,” 

But I thought that the last time you added internally. 

Allison licked her lips and shook her head. “I don’t know. I wanted to think that we could but…” she shrugged. She wasn’t even sure what she was thinking. Her thoughts were a tangled mess. 

“Allis-”

“I think I just need to be alone for a while okay?” She sent you an attempt at an assuring smile. She wanted to tell you that everything would be alright, but she wasn’t sure. She had been holding in everything for so long; she didn’t know how to act. “I’ll text you later,”

Before you could say anything, Allison walked past you. You stood still, feeling just as off-guard and hurt as the last time she said that she needed some time alone and would text you.

Last time that happened, the text she sent you only destroyed you. Those words rang in your head as you wiped at the tears that escaped from your eyes.

I don’t think that we can make this work out. Me and you don’t work out. I’m sorry, I don’t want to hurt you. I never want to do that, and I think ending things between us is the best way to avoid that. 


You stared at your phone resting on your pillow as you laid on your bed. It had been a few days since the party, and Allison had avoided all contact with you since then. You had even tried to talk to Lydia, but she couldn’t tell you anything about how Allison felt. According to her, Allison had avoided talking about the two of you and what was going on, even with her best friend.

You pressed your lips together as you turned onto your back and stared at the ceiling. You couldn’t tell what set her off. Where did this problem come from? Last time, she was getting worried about your safety, but that couldn’t be helped now, whether or not you and Allison were together or not. Maybe this time…. she just didn’t want a relationship with you.

You sucked in a deep breath as the thought invaded your mind. You tried to push it out as you exhaled, but only felt worse. Surrendering to your sadness, you reached for your phone and held it for a few moments.

You wanted to call Allison. You wanted to call her and hear her voice. You wanted to joke around with her and feel yourself soar as she laughed. You wanted to give her advice if she was having a problem.

You shook your head; she told you that she wanted some time to think to herself. You sat up in your bed as you searched through your contacts. There was another person you could call that might be able to help you out. You licked your lip as you waited for her to pick up for a few moments, sighing when you heard her hesitate a ‘hello?’

“Hey Malia,” You breathed out.

You heard her sit down somewhere and adjust herself before she responded. “Hey Y/N. What’s up? You don’t usually call,”

You rubbed the back of your head. “I was wondering if you had any advice about Allison,”

“What do you mean?”

“She hasn’t talked to me at all since the party. I’m honestly a little worried about what’s gonna happen,”

Malia sighed into her phone. “Does this mean you’ll actually tell me what happened at the party then?”

“Yeah,” you gave up with a sigh. It was silent for a few moments before you took a deep breath. “Well, I noticed that Allison kinda rushed out of there, so I followed her. We ended up in the backyard, and she suddenly started asking me if I thought me and her could work out, or if I actually had feelings for her, and things like that,“ 

"And what’d you say?”

“I said that I thought we could make it work, but I was mostly too shocked to say anything else,”

A silence fell over the phone call before Malia spoke up, hesitant, “Do you actually believe that Y/N?”

Your eyes widened as you furrowed your eyebrows. “Of course I do, Mal. Why would you ask that?”

“It’s just… you don’t act like it,” she let out a deep breath.

“Mali-”

“Listen, I know she hurt you, and I know that you two can’t go back to whatever the two of you were. And Allison doesn’t seem like she’s trying to force that. She’s actually been really nice and patient, probably more than I would,”

“What’s your point? I already know that Allison’s an angel,” you asked, a bitterness lacing your words.

Malia let out a deep breath through her nose at your annoyance, trying to explain herself. “Well, you don’t act like you trust her. You go on dates, but you seem awkward if anyone ever asks if the two of you are dating. It’s been months, and you haven’t told anyone outside the pack about your dates You don’t even call her your girlfriend. Hell, Y/N, if I wasn’t in the pack I wouldn’t know that she was involved in your life at all,” You froze as Malia painted the picture in front of you.  "It just doesn’t seem that you actually trust her, meanwhile she’s trying her best to do that. Both of you need to actually act like you have a chance, or else you won’t have one,”

You sat still for a few moments before you let out a sigh and nodded, “You’re right Malia. Um… can I call you back later?”

She hummed, “Yeah that’s fine. Good luck with Allison,”

“Thanks,” you muttered before she hung up.

You laid back down on your bed for a few moments before you bit your lip. You stood up, grabbed your jacket before you walked outside. The plan formed itself in your head as you made the walk over to the Argent house.


You knocked on the door and swung back and forth on your heels as you waited for someone to open it. Your nerves were shot. Malia’s words rang in your head, making you force yourself to stay on the doorstep. She made you realize why Allison was doubting things.

It was because you were doubting her.

You were about to knock again before the door opened to reveal Allison, face still covered in sleep and her hair pulled up into a messy bun. A small smile appeared on your face at how adorable she looked.

Her eyes widened as she recognized you. “Y- Y/N? What are you doing here?”

“Well…. I was thinking about what you said at the party, and I didn’t really understand what you meant,” you started before you took a deep breath, “But I talked to Malia, and everything clicked,”

Allison glanced down. “Y/N… You don’t have to do this,”

“No, I do. Because she made me realize that you’ve been amazing, and I haven’t really done the same in return,”

Allison’s eyes snapped towards you. “What do you mean? You have been grea-”

“No. I haven’t,” you interrupted, “You’ve been taking things slow and doing just what you know I’m comfortable with, which is amazing, and I honestly wouldn’t expect anything else from you,”

“It’s completely normal for things to go slow, especially since we broke up,” Allison countered.

Your eyes softened. She was actually trying to comfort you. “I know that; I’m not saying that we should suddenly rush back into a relationship.” You sighed and took a step closer. “But I realized, I haven’t been doing the same in return. I haven’t been showing you the same courtesy,”

“I don’t know what you mean,”

“I mean, you’re my girlfriend, and I haven’t even called you that,” you said with a sigh, “I mean, we’ve gone on dates, but I don’t tell anybody we’re dating. I realized that I’m still staying so defensive after months and because of that I’ve been treating this relationship like it’s nothing to me, like you’re nothing to me. That’s not fair to you Allison. You deserve better than that,”

Allison’s eyes widened for a moment as she struggled for something to say. Were you apologizing to her? She didn’t even think that she could focus on your apology; ‘you’re my girlfriend’ repeating in her head. She stared at you for a moment before stepping towards you and leaning her head closer to give you a quick kiss on the cheek.

You froze mid-sentence and blinked for a moment before turning towards her with a shy smile. “You’ve been working to make it so that we can be together again. I need to be doing the same, and I promise that I will if you give me the chance,” you licked your lips before rushing out, “Because I love you Allison,”

Her eyes widened as she stared at you for a few moments. Your words definitely shocking out any remnants of sleep that had lingered. “I love you too,” she repeated with a small smile that she tried to contain. 


A large smile spread across your face before you leaned closer, pressing your lips against hers.


You rubbed your hands together as you waited near the school’s parking lot for Allison. You two were supposed to go to the lacrosse game together, but her Dad needed her to help him with something, so you agreed to meet at the game. You brought out your phone and checked the time and let out a harsh sigh.

Where the hell was she?

You pressed your lips together and glanced at the bleachers. You were lucky that Lydia was serious about holding your seats there. Someone tapped you on the shoulder, and you turned around with a smile on your face, thinking it was Allison. Only for it to be replaced with a frown right away.

“Hey Y/N,” the girl from your science class sing-songed with a coy smile on her face.

You clenched your jaw and looked away from her, focusing on the parking lot again. “Hi.”

“What are you doing here by yourself?” she hinted.

You had to stop yourself from rolling your eyes. You had told her that you weren’t interested, and you actually thought she listened. “I’m waiting for someone,” you muttered.

She sighed, disappointed before turning back to you with a bright smile. “Well, I mean if they’re keeping you out here this long, they’re probably not gonna show up,”

You glared at her out of the corner of your eye.

She stepped closer and brought a hand to your arm. “We could always watch the game together and afterwards-”  You clenched your jaw and stepped away from her.

“I have a girlfriend,” you muttered with a glare.

Her eyes widened. “Since when?”

Before you could say anything, you heard someone walking towards you. You turned your head and smiled at Allison. “Hey Alli,”

Allison was about to reply when the girl cut her off. “You didn’t answer me. Since when do you have a girlfriend?”

You rolled your eyes, a second away from responding before Alison grabbed your hand with a smirk. “Since me,” Allison interrupted before turning towards you, “We should probably go find our seats. Lydia text me that she’s getting bored and is about to let the girl’s basketball captain take them,”

You nodded with a smile before you let her lead you to the bleachers. You both reached the field, but before you went up to the bleachers, Allison turned towards you, immediately pressing her mouth against yours. Your breath hitched and a smile formed on your lips. Your smile grew when she pulled away. “What was that about?”

“That was the first time you told someone else that you were dating me,” she whispered with warm cheeks.

You brushed back a strand of her hair, making her look at you. “You’re my girlfriend, and I’m happy and proud of that. Why shouldn’t I tell people?” you said with a mix of seriousness and teasing.

Allison’s cheeks darkened before she grabbed your hand again. “Let’s go find Lydia,”

You sat down next to your girlfriend, her immediately explaining to Lydia what had happened. You stared at her as she dramatically retold the tale of her Dad making her clean all of the weapons in their garage. You couldn’t imagine your smile growing bigger as you watched her.

It was better than the first time you and her tried to date. You both weren’t sure of what you wanted. Now, the both of you knew what it was like without the other.

As she turned towards the field with a smile on her face, waving to the guys on the team, you were sure that you guys could make it work.

With time, you could rebuild what you had before, and make it better.

Runaway

The reader decides to leave after seeing Dean hooking up again, not being able to handle the heartbreak anymore, so will Dean convince her to stay or will he just let you leave not caring about anything

Dean And Reader

Depression, angst, fluff, panic attack, heartbreak, severe injuries

@not-moose-one-shots @5minutefanfiction @sanityoverrated27 @bringmesomepie56 @paigeinastory @littleflower01 @iwantthedean

Originally posted by bringmesomepie56

           I wasn’t pretty by any means, at least to the women that the brothers always brought home. We had just finished a bad hunt when Dean wanted to go and get a couple of drinks to celebrate. I declined and decided to go back to my room, I didn’t want to watch them flirting with women who far better than you would ever be. For me, it was watching Dean hook up. I always felt a knife being twisted in your heart. When you were sure they wouldn’t be coming back, I packed my bags and left them behind, I couldn’t deal with the heartbreak anymore.

           I didn’t leave a note, I just couldn’t write it without breaking down. I hadn’t gotten far on the abandoned highway when I heard the distinct sound of the Impala. Why couldn’t they give me peace? I just wanted to become invisible. I kept walking ignoring the sound of the car parking behind me. “Y/N!!” Why did it have to be Dean? I felt a hand grab my shoulder and turn me around.

           “What the hell is wrong with you? You just up and leave, no note, nothing!” I turned around and just kept walking, I wish I could just disappear. I had my head down, so when I ran into something solid I knew had come around. “Ok you know what I don’t know what the hell is wrong with you but you can’t run away without having a good reason” “Just leave me alone Dean ok? I just want to be left alone!!!” “Ok if you want to be left alone, then I’ll do that, but don’t come crawling back to me when things go wrong” He walked away and took off in the impala leaving you again in the dark.

           I just kept walking until I was too tired and managed to find a hotel to get some rest. I had to figure out my next steps. I just hope that things will get better not worse.

Six Months later

           I had just finished a hunt, it was a tough case to crack as well. After that night, no one called you to check in. I was perfectly ok with that, I had gotten to my room and decided to get a drink at the bar down the block. I took a shower and freshened up before leaving to relax.          

           I walked in and the place was packed, I was walking up to the bar and there they were, sitting at the bar enjoying a couple beers. I quickly turned around and ran out the door hoping they didn’t see you. I was so busy trying to get away you didn’t see the pickup truck roaring down the street. It all happened so fast I felt the truck hitting me, I felt bones breaking and white hot pain. I flew about ten feet back slamming into the road and then blackness.

Dean POV

           I heard someone yelling to call an ambulance, Sam and I deciding to see if we could help. When I reached the ground, and looked to see who it was, when I saw who it was I ran as fast as I could to reach her. “Y/N!!!!” No, this can’t be happening, Sam had reached us quickly he turned pale hoping he was seeing wrong as well. Her face was full of cuts, blood, and bruises, I knew she had some broken bones as well.

Originally posted by spn-spam

           The paramedics finally arrived and I had to let her go. They said I couldn’t go with her so Sam and I got into the car and followed the ambulance. “This is my fault Sam, I should have stayed and talked to her not leave her alone”

           We reached the hospital watching them wheel her in, I felt tears in my eyes. I was going to fix this.

6 weeks later

           We never left her side, her doctor told us that she sustained serious injuries and didn’t expect her to even wake up. I wasn’t giving up on her, I needed to be honest, I needed to show her that I was an idiot.

           I had my head on the bed, I was holding her hand wanting to know the minute she woke up. I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I know I felt my hand being grabbed and my head shot up to see y/n looking at me with tears in her eyes.

Reader POV

           I saw him holding my hand, he looked rough, he had a slight beard with bags under his eyes, like he hasn’t slept at all. I squeezed my hand to get him to realize that I was awake, when he shot his head up and saw me with a watery smile. He got up and sat on the edge of the bed. “Y/n I’m so sorry, I should’ve stayed or drag you with me. I was so stupid leaving you alone like that” “It’s ok, don’t worry about it”

           I did not want him feel sorry for me, I wanted him to be here because he wanted to be, not just because. Sam had walked in at that moment with two coffee cups, he set them on the tray and bent down to kiss you on the forehead.

           The doctor came in at that point and kicked the boys out to do a complete checkup and make sure everything was in working order. “I want to send you home today, but do you live on your own or do you stay with someone?” I shook my head “I’m alone, my job makes me travel so I don’t really have a place of my own” My eyes started tearing up, I should stay with the boys at the bunker but I couldn’t do that. “What about those men that have been here? You could stay with them. I don’t feel right if you don’t have someone to help you”

           I just nodded my head, and agreed to go with them just to get him off your back. He left the room to get your discharge paperwork to go home. The boys came back in and asked how everything went. “I can go home if I have someone to stay with me so I just said yeah to get him off my back” “y/n you are staying with us, we will help you get better and help you heal” “Thanks but no, I’ll be fine” “Sam can I talk to y/n for a minute?” He nodded and left the room quickly.

           “Can I please ask why you don’t want to come back to the bunker with us?” “Would you like to know why I left the first time? Because I felt like I had a knife being twisted in my heart every time you went off to find your latest conquest at the bars. I couldn’t keep punishing myself” He just stood there with an unreadable look on his face, I couldn’t believe he just stood there like a statue.

           “Just never mind! I can’t believe I just made a fool of myself” My eyes started tearing up, I was ready to just leave and go back to my room. The nurse came in and had me sign my discharge papers. Dean left the room so I could get dressed and head back to my motel room, to get healed and return to being alone in this life. Sam came in and sat down on the bed, he had a sad look on his face, he took a deep breath and let it back out. “Y/n I really hope you’re coming home with us, we want you with us, not out there alone” “I can’t Sam not with Dean there, I opened up today and he just rejected me, I can’t I’m sorry” He nodded fully understanding what was going on in your head.

           They wheeled you out of the front door to where the impala was waiting, Sam helped me up and into the back, while Dean sat in the driver’s seat looking forward. I was going home with an ankle brace and crutches so I was a little wobbly.

           We pulled up to my motel and again Sam helped me into my room, thank goodness you paid ahead for the room. I got to my bed and laid down just wanting to be by myself. “We have the room right next to you so that our rooms are connected, we’re here to help” I could feel my bottom lip trembling, I wanted Dean to lay next to me and snuggle, but that would never happen now.

Sam POV

           I knew she was hurting, Dean told me what she had said, and I told him that was what he always wanted. I asked him why he was doing this to her, absolutely ignoring as if she didn’t exist. He just shook his head, and stayed completely silent.

           Dean and I had settled into our room, y/n had fallen asleep due to the strong painkillers she was on. “Dean!” “What?” “Are you going to keep being a jackass or are you going to be honest with her over there?” I could see the tears in his eyes and knew he blamed himself for what had happened. “Dean it’s not your fault, but if she disappears this time, then it’s all on you, you need to be honest with yourself. I won’t let her be in that much pain again.” He nodded and left to get some air.

Reader POV

           Dean was looking at me, anger and disgust in his eyes, “Why would I want you? You’re a pig! You disgust me!” I kept shaking my head hoping that this was a nightmare, I saw him grab my shoulders and start shaking me. “Wake up! Come on sweetheart it’s just a nightmare”

           I sat up quickly trying to catch my breath, I saw Dean sitting next me with concern on his face, I started shaking violently and sobbing trying to calm myself down from the horrible night mare that I had been in.

           I felt his arms wrap around me and hold me to him, he put me in his lap and just rocked me until I was finally calmed down enough to think clearly. I felt my chin being lifted, and saw Dean’s beautiful emerald eyes. I took my chance and kissed him, it was amazing, what surprised me the most was that he immediately returned the kiss. When we finally broke apart needing oxygen, “I love you so much sweetheart, always have always will, you are so amazing and I never thought I deserved you”.

           I kissed him again, and told him the five words he just told me. “I love you so much” I then looked at the clock and noticed it was 2 am, I started growing tired again, Dean could see it too. You got back under the blankets again dragging Dean with you, as I got comfortable I wrapped my arms around him and put my face in his neck, enjoying the warmth he brought. That’s how we both fell asleep, in each other’s arms feeling safe from the world outside.

Spider Monkey.

Summary: You have known the Winchesters since you were ten and have always harboured a crush on Dean, when you move into the Bunker with them, things get a little awkward.

Word count: 2,067

Warnings: Light swearing, Light violence, Talk of sex.

Pairing: Dean x Reader.

Originally posted by hey-asssbuttt


You had know the Winchesters for years now, after being saved by Bobby from a shape-shifter in the shape of your father when you were ten. Bobby took you in and taught you everything he knew, he became a second father to you. As much as you loved Bobby, you loved when the Winchesters were round even more. That, of course, having nothing to do with your giant crush on the eldest Winchester sibling, or at least that is what you like to tell yourself.
Although Sammy was smart and sweet, he was your best friend and you could talk to him about anything, there was just something about Dean that made you feel safe. As the three of you grew up, you and Dean kinda drifted apart, so when he called you one night after three months of nothing but the occasional text and offered you a place to live, needless to say you were surprised. As you drove to the address Dean sent you, you couldn’t help but hope and pray that your little crush was gone or at the very least under control, otherwise this was gonna be an awkward situation.

You had been living at the bunker six months now and you had to say that it had been the most frustrating six months of your life. Ask any woman alive and she will tell you that when you live with two gorgeous men who are practically sex on legs, with limited prospects of getting laid due to crappy timing and douche-bag guys, boy do you get through a lot of batteries, if ya know what I mean. It didn’t help that Dean kept challenging you at every turn, you felt like he was trying to call into question your life’s training and that just drove you mad.

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