a helluva lot

I can’t stop thinking about the wisecrack carrie fisher would make about debbie reynolds dying a day after her: the joke about her family, always bringing the drama, the ‘she couldn’t stand to let me have all the attention even when I had just died. I want you all to remember that I did it first.’  

I like to imagine her in the afterlife adding material to her stand up: ‘I’m really disappointed to be here tonight, I was hoping I’d get to haunt george lucas for that metal bikini.’ ‘do you know how long the line for this place is? I flipped off nancy reagan and fidel castro on the way in. ’ ‘when I said dear lord please don’t let me live to see that orange buffoon be president I should have been a helluva lot more specific.’

playing to a sold out audience, her mother in the front row. bowie and rickman at a table in the back. 

This hell year is coming to an end, and I figured it was time for me to finally do a follow forever/mutuals appreciation. Even though it was a tough year, for me personally and generally, I’m still grateful for 2016. I’ve made so many mutuals and friends this year, and Shadowhunters is the reason I became active. January 2016 I had less than 50 followers and now there’s 1.9k of you! And I also wanna thank all of you who support my art, and enjoy it, this is still unbelievable to me. Thank you, thank you, thank you, I love you all very much ❤️

Number one hoe
♡ @lovelymagnvs​​  ♡


My fellow artists whom I admire so much

@artby-gio​​ ♡ @diceshimi​​ ♡ @lou-the-hedgehog​​ ♡ @magnuscriss​​ ♡ @mundanelion​​ ♡ @noksindra​​ ♡ @notbeingcryptic​​


Your words bring me peace of mind

@abloodneed  ♡ @alecbluewood  ♡ @themagnusbane  ♡ @clockworkswans♡ @crazyellephantrambles  ♡ @deerestalec  ♡  @fraywoodbane  ♡ @jezthemadficster  ♡ @latinalightwood  ♡ @lecrit  ♡  @magicandarchery  ♡ @otppurefuckingmagic


Magnificent editors who are my inspiration

@alecmagnu  ♡ @alecsplushpillow ♡ @alexandargideonlightwood ♡ @avadakedevra  ♡ @archeryalec  ♡ @bi-magnus ♡ @canislytherinthings  ♡ @captainstilinski  ♡ @clintfrancisbarton  ♡ @colinodonoghue ♡ @daddarios   ♡ @docterstrange ♡ @harrys-shums  ♡ @jemsdrug  ♡ @kelseaglynn  ♡  @magsbane ♡ @newtscamndre  ♡  @winterdaddario


Lovely babes brightening my dash

@alecsagitta​ ♡ @alectually​ ♡ @claryfightwood​ ♡ @claryfire​  ♡ @doddario​  ♡ @f-f-f-fight​ ♡ @hohodaddario​  ♡ @iloveyoualeclightwood​  ♡ @izzybabewoods​  ♡ @jaceslewis​ ♡ @laurenkmyers​ ♡ @lightwoodclan​  ♡ @lightwoody​  ♡ @lukegarrowayisamaincharacter​ ♡  @magnusandalexander​  ♡ @magnuslightswood​ ♡ @mazikkeen​ ♡ @mrsblackthorne​ ♡ @nightfallgoddess​  ♡ @sfjessii​  ♡ @shadowrld​ ♡ @sharona1x2​  ♡ @snufflesblacks​  ♡ @softsnowyjace​  ♡ @sugarplummeliorn​ ♡ @sweetcherry-2​ ♡ @that-bookish-nephilim​  ♡ @vlctoraldertree​ ♡ @wlws​ 

Keep reading

Levels of kpop fans I’ve encountered

Level One: The super casual fans. Knows nothing about kpop besides it standing for korean pop. Will most likely say at some point while watching an MV, “Wow there’s so many of them (members).” Doesn’t bother remembering specific groups or names and is literally just there for the music.

Level Two: These fans are a step above casual. Is knowledgeable on basic kpop terminology such as idol, bias and comeback. Owns an album or two but nothing serious. They’re not super committed to that kpop life™, but can put names to faces for popular idols. You won’t catch them staying up late at night watching music shows or spending hours streaming. That’s too extreme for them. 

Level Three: Has 60% chill until you talk about their faves (in that case it dramatically goes down to -25%). Stans at least one group but knows a helluva lot more. They’re slowly acquiring a collection of kpop merch. Rarely has space on phone from downloading too many pics related to their bias. Their youtube history is filled with videos that start with [ENG SUB] or Try Not To Fangirl.

Level Four: Majors in kpop politics. Is probably a veteran of a fan war or two… or more. Knows everything like seriously EVERYTHING. If you want to know something go to them. They know about any drama happening with idols or their companies. They know about debuting groups before the groups even know it themselves. Can recite the most random ass facts about ANY idol and can quote shit from like 7 years ago. They also can identify each of their 10 billion biases by their knee caps in .05 seconds. For them kpop is not an interest, it’s a lifestyle.

hey look! another unnecessarily long hc post!! as always blame @manonblaxkbeak but also pray for her i sent her nearly 100 (one. hundred.) messages about this

here we go

Six of Crows Modern/Zombie Apocalypse AU!!! 

The basics: Five homeless kids working B&E jobs for the local gangs in NYC and a rookie cop band together in the aftermath of a bioterror attack on the the major cities of the country. They decide to flee the country to escape the infected areas, but the entire plan goes to shit and they make some new friends and a helluva lot more enemies on the way to finding a cure to the virus and way out of the country.

  • Kaz: a brooklyn boy who showed up seemingly out of nowhere in the world of new york gangs, but quickly makes a name for himself with his ruthless efficiency. Fearless Leader, as always. He is safe cracker and strategist extraordinaire. he organizes hits on supply storage of survivalist camps and uses a bow staff to beat off zombies. he wears a brace on his leg that he fashioned sheaths to for two long ass daggers, also for zombie destroying.
  • Inej: stolen by a human trafficking ring she escaped upon landing in the states and started up with the gangs to make money to get back home. the spy, the scout. she sneaks into camps and finds out what theyre hiding where. she uses two big ass swords and has all the knives. so many knives. she never runs out. she decapitates zombies and intimidates any other survivors by being Very Pointy.
  • Nina: an illegal immigrant from russia who fled after the authorities put out a warrant for her arrest on the grounds of “homosexual acts” (”what the fuck? i’m bi. they could at least get my sexuality right if theyre going to imprison me for it”). she is the face of the operation, she is beautiful and amazing and she knows how to work diplomatically to get what they need through bartering and trade. also i don’t care if its impractical, she uses brass knuckles because theyre badass and fashionable. she also has one of those snap out metal core batons for beating people off and a machete for chopping off zombie heads.
  • Jesper: an accounting major with a gambling problem who took up gang work to pay for school. he has his signature pistols, but i am a strong believer in melee weapons in the event of a zombie apocalypse because ammo runs out, dudes, so my boy has throwing knives and a slingshot (fight me they’re actually really cool). Him and inej bond over their cool knives. He’s got those badass rainbow ceramic ones that he always had on him in case there were ever metal detectors when they were casing a place. 
  • Wylan: he’s still their resident explosives expert, a master of being cute and using household materials to make pipe bombs, fertilizer bombs, molotov cocktails, shrapnel grenades, etc. Wylan got kicked out for similar reasons to canon, his father is a UN rep and working with the CDC (idk man i don’t know how these things work just roll with it) after the outbreak. also he doesnt play the flute he plays the harmonica because i think harmonicas are cool, theyre smaller and less fragile than flutes, and it’d be really funny if he played it if they were ever stuck in holding at a precinct
    • just imagine jesper: “ayye boy what that mouth do ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ”
    • wylan: “play cotton eyed joe” *sick harmonica solo*
  • Kuwei: my brilliant boy is chemistry prodigy who went with his dad to family day at the CDC but then everything went to shit, a bioweapon was released, he missed his tinder date, and now he’s a hostage being used as incentive for his father to further develop this bioweapon released to create more zombies and spread to other countries. He super didn’t ask for any of this, especially when his dad got sick himself and died and he had to take over making increasingly aggressive strands. Pretty please message me if you are interested in my theories on the creation of zombies. I have ideas. 
  • Matthias: a rookie cop back from one tour with the special forces after some disciplinary issues regarding protecting refugees and going AWOL. He’s put on a task forced focused on gang activity and he’s been chasing this group of kids his damn age for over a year now and how the hell are they so good at what they do??? He’s chasing them when the outbreak happens and in order to escape a zombie horde ends up running off with them to find shelter. he’s an excellent shot and strategist, also known for physically tossing zombies like a fucking amateur mma fighter this boy is jacked ok he fills out that uniform like a stripper cop and Nina is most definitely Here For It

Miscellaneous plot ideas!

  • Pekka is a sleazy businessman who had jordie killed in front of kaz by some dirty cops while he was getting carted off to juvie for some work they were doing (he never made it to processing). 
  • They hole up in a hospital and find patient records - this is how they start to figure out the outbreak’s origin.
  •  The kids have are trying to leave the country through the CDC base since thats the only place with functioning travel. 
  • Kuwei is saved once they find out who he is while theyre sneaking around the base, Inej is taken in the process trying to protect him. 
  • The Dime Lions are basically the national guard.
  •  Matthias and Nina met when he helped her when she arrived in America, he knew she wasn’t here legally and barely spoke english but after a few weeks she picked it up fast, and disappeared with a bunch of his cash. 

one reason i put the fact that i’m adhd in my bio is that i want to be clear that my putting two ideas close to each other in no way means those things are related and if you assume that my writing tags about dinner on a picture of flowers means anything more than that i got hungry in the middle of a reblog you’re going to end up reading too much into a whole helluva lot

Some headcanons about Seijoh

·      Matsun took tap dancing lessons for several years

·      Kindaichi was that one kid who always sang louder than everyone else during elementary school performances

·      Watari is really good with technology for some reason and everyone always goes to him for help with their technical problems

·      One time Kyoutani, Yahaba, and Watari all went out bowling and it turned into a fierce competition between Kyoutani and Yahaba, trying to beat each other and also using deceptive means to do it so in the end, Watari beat them by a helluva lot

·      Kunimi once fell asleep in his driveway

·      Yahaba and Watari became close friends at the beginning of high school, and after their match with Karasuno, (forcibly) inducted Kyoutani into their group

·      Yahaba and Oikawa go shopping together and sometimes drag Kyoutani and Iwaizumi with them. Iwaizumi is hopeless with fashion, but Kyoutani has a weirdly good sense of color?

·      Everyone on the team has guesses as to why Kyoutani’s hair is like that. Every one of them is wrong, but they will never know

·      At training camp, matsun and makki get their own room because makki snores louder than a train and matsun didn’t want him to be alone ;)

·      Watari gained most of his skill at receiving from practicing receiving Oikawa’s serves

·      At some point, Oikawa has done the makeup of everyone on the team

·      Every time one of the other third years teases Iwaizumi about his height, he challenges them to arm wrestling. Makki is the only one who always takes the challenge. He has yet to win

(more)

(even more)

Let’s get something straight. Eleven has had an extremely painful life, no doubts about that. She’s been through hell and I want the best for my daughter, but whatever happens in season two, she is not immune to pain. I get it, she was a freaking lab experiment for 12 years and that’s gonna cause so much pain that’s really never going to leave. It’s an unimaginable trauma. But going through pain doesn’t make you resistant to new pain. She’s gonna be missing for a year, stuck in the Upside Down or wherever. That’s gonna be devastating. She’s gonna be in a scary environment and she’s gonna be all alone and she’s gonna miss her friends, and most of all, she’s a twelve year old girl who escaped a terrible trauma only to be thrown into a new one. She’s been through a lot, and she is a tough girl, at twelve years old she’s a helluva lot tougher than I am, but let’s not pretend that she’s gonna be perfectly okay with whatever happens to her while she’s missing. Whatever ends up happening to her, it’s gonna be incredibly painful and traumatic and maybe we should stop acting like she’s gonna be perfectly okay because “she’s been through worse.” Don’t disregard her feelings like that.

Depression is like rolling a dice, you never know which side of it you’ll get. All 6 sides hold different dangers and truth be told they’re all pretty equally sucky to go through.

Side number 1 is the side in which everything feels heavy and dark and like you’re a bird drowning in the sky or a fish trying to fly in the sky; it’s the uphill, never-winning battle that we continue to fight because it’s the only way. Side number one teaches you how to stay strong and adapt.

Side number 2 is the sadness, my god that sadness, the sadness that rips through you like a tornado and leaves you shaking and scared and of course sobbing; it’s the sadness that makes you envy the drowning birds and falling fish. Side number 2 shakes the world beneath your feet but you won’t fall, you’ll go through a bunch of kleenexes and need a helluva lot of comfort food and romantic comedies but the tears’ll stop and you’ll be able to breathe again.

Side number 3 is the lazy side, the side where your body fuses to the mattress and your head is just not cooperating today; the side where you just want the world to go away so you can sleep it all away and wake up in 10 years time. But despite side number 3’s best efforts, get up, take the dog for a walk, grab a cup of coffee, enjoy some sunlight even if it’s only for 10 minutes - use all the energy you’ve got that day just to defy it.

Side number four is the rage, the anger that boils up inside the sadness, the nostalgia, the madness of being trapped in this illness; the anger that leads to cutting, drinking, smoking dope, writing angry poems, cursing, and hurting the people we love. Side number four is painful and you’ll regret it tomorrow but you’ve got to remember that, although it’s no excuse, it wasn’t you talking - it was the depression. The real, mood-altering, mind-controlling, life-damaging illness. Forgive yourself for the snide comments or cynical retorts.

Side 5 is the side no one talks about, for reasons unknown to me, because it is perhaps the hardest side to face when you get it, it’s the darkness - the point in which you just wanna curl up and let it all collapse around you because then at least it would end, it’s the side that makes you feel indifferent, numb, and guilty for not seeing any light because there’s always a light right? Someone always has it worse and here you are hiding underneath your covers like some damsel in distress, wrong - side five is the hardest because it makes you feel bad about your illness, guilty about it and it makes you question its validity, which for the record is very fucking valid.

Side number six is the side which everyone doesn’t understand, it’s the unknown or the other side; this is the side where you’ll be perfectly content, laughing with friends over ice cream or something equally delicious when you just stop because depressions snatched your laugh from you, when your going through your checklist for college in target and break down in the towel aisle because college is too far away and you don’t think you’ll make it, when you’re on a bus to somewhere and you see someone with scars on their arms and although you shouldn’t assume - you know where they came from and you know that pain all too well, when you watch a little kid being happy and high on life and get so goddamn down because they’ll have to face the music one day and you remember that day for you. Side 6 is all the others mixed together, at the unexpected, most unwanted times.

So yes, of course, depression’s a bitch and it’s an illness struggled with by so many in so many ways. But depression, on any given day, is the luck of the draw. Will you get a semi-survivable day? Or will you get a day with suicidal thoughts and surprise mood swings and stress out of this world? We don’t get to choose what day it’ll be, we just get to choose how we respond and how much power we go into battle with.

- We don’t get to choose when we get depressed or how, it’s chance.

—  S.A.S.

So, in this pretentious, flamboyant restaurant filled with dignified people, Ash suddenly climbed atop the table much to Johnny’s (and the fellow customers) shock. Dark soda knocked over and spilling across the pearly white canvas in the process as she made her way over to Johnny.

The sound of the table jostling and glass hitting the table with a thunk caused Johnny to look up. Wide brown eyes lifted to hers in obvious confusion of what exactly was happening yet before Johnny could even utter a word out of that cute mouth of his, Ash shut him up with her own.

The shock of feeling’s Johnny’s mouth under hers was shocking to say the least - for damn, did it feel a helluva lot better than those previous times the unwarranted thoughts flitted through her brain. Her hands were less than gentle as she grasped onto the fur on his cheeks and tilting her head against his mouth.

Ash became instantly aware of two things in that moment - One, this had to be Johnny’s first kiss for he didn’t know what the hell he was doing. Two - she didn’t care because it felt that amazing.

It was sloppy; his mouth completely unsure as he maneuvered to try and perfectly fit it against hers. Ash couldn’t help but smile against his lips and pull him closer out of sheer need to have his warmth closer. Large hands trembled only for a second as they skirted firmly over her hips before grasping lightly onto her sides and back and holding her tight as she grasped onto him.

                                         (KEEP READING)

Happy Valentine’s Day, Everyone!

If you feel alone on Valentine’s Day, remember you’re really ALONE

(A)dored

(L)oved

(O)bviously

(N)eeded by

(E)veryone

I love y’all. xoxoxoxoxo

anonymous asked:

Hmm Octavia and Illian. Octilian? Illavia? Whatever it is, idk if I like it. I like that she has someone closer to her age that can help her move on, but can anyone really replace Lincoln? I'm conflicted.

This show doesn’t do the idea of sex as love. She isn’t “replacing” Lincoln. She’s having sex with Ilian because she wants to feel something.

Which is a helluva lot better than the last thing that gave her feels, aka: killing.

So why don’t we just take it as a positive step in healing and character development and not think this means they have to be endgame. 

This is so accurate tho. Any time autistics talk about the positives of being autistic there’s always someone who goes “you’re romanticizing something harmful and  making it out  to be  not as serious as it is, that’s so disrespectful and dangerous, omg”

Then when we point out autism isn’t harmful and we are, in fact, autistic they’re like “but you’re high-functioning ‘cause you can talk, you don’t know what it’s like for people who are REALLY autistic.”

Like, bitch, I know a helluva lot better than your condescending neurotypical ass what it’s like to be autistic in any intensity. Shut up and sit down. 

If non-verbal autistics need someone to speak on their behalf we verbal autistics can do it, thank  you very much.

An epic Phan analysis awaits.

So. Yes. *Ahem* This is a bit nerve-wracking because of the comments I might get (but tbh I have a rubbish number of followers so it’ll probably just get ignored), so yeah. (long I’m sorry oh god I’m a nerd)

Here it is.

I love Dan and Phil. Like I actually, truly care about them in way that I’ve never cared for celebrities or internet stars ever before. Why? Because I can feel the love between them, and I know they are genuinely good people. I’m also their age (right between, actually). I can relate to their experiences, both of them. They click with me.

I also wholeheartedly believe that Phan is real. (well, no one can be sure, but I would bet a helluva lot of money on it). If you’d like to read my ramblings why, feel free! Or just keep scrolling and avoid my madness, idc. I’d understand.

Before I start, listen. I don’t really “ship” people. Not that I see anything wrong with it, but I just don’t - especially not couples that I don’t believe are possibly canon. It’s never appealed to me. This might be because I’m 26 years old and totally missed a ton of internet cultureguys, I was in high school when YouTube came out in 2005, so… The only other couple I have ever shipped was Brolin/Merthur because it seemed sooo plausible. I root for canon relationships in shows. That’s just me, but I don’t judge others! I’m totally a fangirl regardless.

For some background on me, not that it really matters, I have two bachelor’s degrees, a Master’s degree, and have just applied to PhD programs. I have traveled alone around the world and lived and worked in various countries, so it’s safe to say I’ve witnessed a lot of human behavior and interactions. I have also been in my fair share of relationships, had best friends that doubled as roommates, and even been in a secret “friends-with-benefits” sort of situation that escalated into more because I realized that I can’t, apparently, separate sex from emotion for very long (and I’m not convinced this is possible for any extended period, but I could just be a hopeless sap). I’m not saying that I know anything more than teenagers do. I’m a teacher. I respect teenagers. I just want to take preemptive measures in order to avoid arguments against me accusing me of being young/naive, because I’m neither of those things.

These are some facts that stand out about Dan and Phil that I just can’t rationalize if they’re platonic (though, again, I’m not some all-knowing oracle and could be wrong). I feel weird putting so much time and investment into such a creepy detailed relationship analysis, and have been avoiding it, but they’ve pulled me in… and I’m also starting to get really annoyed by all of the poorly-informed and thought-through debates that focus more heavily on opinions than facts. The real truth is that NO ONE KNOWS THE NATURE OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP. But I do think we can make a pretty educated guess. And here are the truths on which I’ve based mine.

1) They have never stated that they’re straight, so it’s wrong to assume as much. Even if we try to be fair and ignore old Formspring answers, we have no reason to believe that they’re hetero; all we know for sure is that Dan “likes vagina” (and also Evan Peters). Bi-erasure is so commonly talked about on tumblr that I’m sure you all understand this already, but it drives me crazy when some people spout out things like “They’ve repeatedly said they’re straight and not together, GAWD!!!” just… no. No, they haven’t. Why do people ignore Dan’s constant comments about guys being attractive? Phil’s much more quiet on the matter, but we all know what he’s admitted in the past (and he was in his 20s at the time, much older than Dan was when he claimed he often lied to get attention, and was probably much less likely to say anything untrue). Also, straight people don’t generally have problems admitting that they’re straight when asked. It’s quite telling that they haven’t.

2) They haven’t openly denied being in a relationship in YEARS. (A surprised Dan telling a phangirl no when she asked him on the street and a mouthed “no” at TATINOF don’t count, because what else was he supposed to do? But remember that the “no” did, apparently, follow a wink, so make of that what you will.) Why wouldn’t they put the phans to rest and just say “No, we’re not together” if they’re not? I refuse to believe that they’re simply manipulating us to believe in Phan in order to increase their views and popularity. If people believe that this is, in fact, what they’re doing, okay. Maybe it is. Maybe I am naive after all. I just think that they are better people than that, and if that were their intention, it would be played up much more than it is. Despite accusations of queer baiting, they’re actually very tame around each other. (I’ll get to that later).

3) They avoid stating that they’re single, at least in those exact words. Look at Jameela on BBC1 asking if they were and both just awkwardly laughing and Dan saying “Is it that obvious?” That’s evasion. So was their answer to the American radio interviewer who asked if they were married (awkward laughs and ”Don’t ask me about the future” instead of simple denial) or Phil reassuring a viewer of his live show that it was okay to be single without saying “I am too, I get you!” Not definitive in and of itself, but surely indicative of something.

4) If Dan and Phil were mixed-sex, ie if one of them were female, it would be much more difficult to argue that they’re platonic because of the whole “straight people of the opposite sex can’t just be friends OMG there’s always attraction there” (despite the fact that this isn’t necessarily true, it’s a common belief). Just an observation. So if two potentially gay/bi/pan guys live together, doesn’t that at least create a scenario of possible mutual attraction? At the very very least. Start to put these numbered points together, guys.

5) People wonder why, if they’re both gay/bi/pan (or even if just one of them is), they’ve never officially come out. That seems clear to me, and it’s also another reason I believe in Phan. If either one were to reveal his sexuality, it would immediately put pressure on the other to make a similar declaration, or at least to handle a bunch of invasive, personal questions. It would also basically force an official relationship confirmation or denial just because their audience would be relentless, and avoiding the questions would be just as telling tbh (as it already is now but x100). The best way to protect their relationship is to avoid stating anything concrete about their sexualities, though I do believe (or hope) that the hints we’ve been getting might be a gradual, unofficial coming out that won’t require any public declaration. If they weren’t together, Dan and Phil strike me as the kind of people who would have come out a while ago, especially Dan, since Phil is more naturally private.

6) I hate dredging up Dan and Phil’s private and largely deleted past, so I’ll just be general, but come on. Over the years, they’ve left a trail of evidence indicating a relationship so irrefutable that they’d be found guilty in a court of law if they were trying to defend their platonic-ness (if this makes sense).  At the very least they’ve created reasonable doubt that should mean anyone with common sense should be able to admit that a long-term relationship is a distinct possibility. And no one can tell me that the V-Day video was a prank. It’s much too genuine, detailed, and heartfelt, and not funny at all - shouldn’t pranks be funny?

7) There’s just the constant feeling that they’re hiding something and avoiding the elephant in the room. Sure, they play up Phan a bit now, at least more than they ever have, but in the big picture, they’re such small things. The occasional innuendo. Hands-on-heart. “Ironically” written vampire phanfiction (but goodness if that didn’t tell us how strong Dan’s emotions really are for Phil). We have ONE on-camera hug between them in SIX YEARS (2 if you count the tackle at the end of PINOF, and it was completely spontaneous). Yes, they always sit close together (their default, I think, which just shows their fondness for each other), but they generally avoid open touching that isn’t a pat on the back. And people think they’re queer baiting? I think the opposite. They know how to make fans happy, but they’re not going to make a total mockery of Phan and the idea of a physical relationship because it would turn their love into a joke. It actually makes me sad to look at collabs Dan especially has had with others because he is so much more unabashedly physical - hugging Caspar twice in their video and joking about him getting a boner because of it, touching hands with Tyler and saying that his crouching friend looked like he was giving him a bj, even Phil skipping around and holding hands with Dean was something he never would have done with Dan. Why? There’s clearly something to hide. Doing those things with each other, taking their affection up a notch, would increase speculation that might force a coming out, even though all of it was clearly a joke with other people. It’s sad they can’t just be themselves. They don’t even say very affectionate things (though we can feel the love through the screen in other ways, and the “I hate you’s” and “You’re the worst person in the world’s” carry a lot of subtext). I just think of Joe hugging Caspar from the back around the shoulders and saying “I’m so proud of you” in Caspar’s 5 million subs video. D&P don’t do that.

8) They just don’t act like roommates. It’s true that there’s not one “right” way to do anything, but look at other YouTube co-inhabiting duos. Joe and Caspar, for example. Yes, they’re shipped together, but so is basically everyone. They laugh about it. They’re very, very touchy with each other (*ahem* because they’re not hiding anything *ahem*). Their apartment doesn’t feel like  home, and they don’t seem to have many shared possessions. No one thinks that they’ll live together forever. Even Ian and Anthony moved into their own places, and stayed that way after splitting from their girlfriend/fiance. Why? Because they were financially independent and secure and wanted to start their own separate lives. Even if their friendship is as strong as ever, that’s all it is, a friendship. There’s just no great reason to have a platonic roommate for much longer than Dan and Phil have for anyone else in a similar position, especially since they’re both creeping out of their 20s and might naturally want to get their own place and look for a partner to settle down with. They’ve already done that. I think that if they live together for even one or two more years, that’s basically confirmation. Dan even said in the TABINOF audiobook “What if we ever don’t live together?” Not “when”, but “if”. 

9) Can we stop talking about 2012? Aside from Dan’s snarky denial comments on tumblr and some scattered live show moments, we have no idea what happened. He’s lied about plenty (both of them, for example, have changed their origin story multiple times, despite the fact that real phans know the truth, which not only indicates that they’re hiding something, but that they’re willing to lie to protect themselves for whatever the reason may be). If anything, I think Dan’s actions were of a protective person trying desperately to hide something important to him, especially because the video leaking had to have really hurt Phil - he wanted to protect Phil, and he didn’t care if he had to lie to do so. Moving further apart on camera may simply have been a way to keep their relationship personal and not for our consumption, to not make the same mistake again. If the video were a prank, and if Phan weren’t real, I don’t think he would have gotten so angry and defensive. A break up is definitely possible for around that time, which seems to be many people’s headcanon, but I just don’t buy it. Why would Dan have moved in with Phil that same year? I would never want to live with my ex, though I guess anything’s possible. 

10) Just look at everything. All of it. The whole picture. Not just what I’ve said above, but the shared vacations. The movie premieres. THE FACT THAT WE HAVE NEVER HEARD OF ANY OTHER ROMANTIC PARTNERS FOR EITHER OF THEM IN 6 YEARS (and the phandom would have discovered this, no doubt). Their clear and obvious love, fondness, loyalty, mutual understanding, and even co-dependence. Dan’s occasional displays of jealousy in live shows. Little slip-ups that have gotten past (”the bedroom”, Dan’s duvet on Phil’s bed in the prank video and the pillows set up for two), sneaking off together at parties, never getting sick of each other. And yes, the old tweets and Formsprings, though I hope I’ve kept this analysis somewhat minimally invasive (we all know what tweets I’m talking about).

In conclusion? I would be much more surprised if they’re not together than if they are. 

But really… I just want them both to be happy. Their relationship is goals either way. Let’s leave them alone, stop arguing, and admit that we don’t know. They’ll tell us if they want to, or if not. (but I sure hope so)

lots of posts about wanting a ‘real’ relationship, wanting to be with someone who won’t leave or who won’t lie && cheat. once you get the basic shit from someone, who’s ready to do those things too, ya know it takes a helluva lot of other shit to hold that relationship together right?

example. honesty isn’t about whether or not you’ve cheated anymore, you know they won’t and if they do, you know they’ll tell you. it’s about being honest in your feelings at the moment. honest that you’re feeling jealous, honest about feeling insecure, honest about being irritated and want space, honest about your attraction to someone else, honest that they hurt you, like..don’t forget there’s hard shit after just committing to someone who fulfills the basic requirements.