The biggest difference between starvation and living healthy is of course my happinies and state of mind. But what also changed is my goal.
I don’t want to look in certain way anymore. (Sure, I reblog photos of fit woman, but also of plus size girls (that are in no way unhealthy, you get what I’m trying to say). Because I like the strenght in them.)
I want to be strong and happy. I will feed my body with the stuff it needs and exercise. And if i won’t end up with a thigh gap? Who freakin cares! I’ll have the body I’m supposed to have, and it doesnt have to be “perfect”.
Written for @jpadjackles 1k Celebration Challenge (I’m sorry this is later than I planned!)
Prompt: Homesick by Louden Swain
Summary: Sam and Dean are leaving for a case and you stay behind for a very important reason.
Characters/relationships: Sam x reader, Dean
Word Count: 1.6k
For the first time in years, Sam felt completely and wonderfully at ease. He had never been able to relax after he joined Dean and crisscrossed the country, hunting the earth’s most deadly creatures day and night. He had Dean to worry about, the potential victims, the fate of the world, and sometimes, himself. Then one day, unexpectedly, he had you. You came along, unannounced, but without guesswork, striking right through the noisy mess of Sam’s life and presenting to him a clear path. The relationship was never complicated, never messy, and always reliable.
As sad as it sounds, some people are just in our lives as a means of medicine. And as soon as we have recovered, we must let go and live. That doesn’t mean that we no longer love or need them, that doesn’t mean that they no longer serve a purpose, but in order for us to maintain a healthy mind state from now on, we must continue this journey and blossom and live. Some people are like medicine and overdosing is never a good idea. Set yourself free.
MR - Been listening to Justin Bieber - Where are you now..
Last night, the guy I’m interested in told me his current love life is like the movie he just watched and he needs to “figure it out”. I looked up the movie, and it’s about a guy who is a serial dater and has a few interests at a time.
I’ve been feeling amazing lately, and my self-esteem is pretty healthy. But no matter what state my mind is in, being reminded that I’m one of many to a guy I’m interested in, really hurts.
I’m taking myself out of the running. I don’t deserve to be in a line-up of girls he keeps on reserve and can’t decide about.
I kind of want to start modeling. It wouldn’t be for awhile because I truly want to tone up a bit for myself and make sure I’m in a healthy state of mind but I had so much fun last night and I truly think I have the ability to make a difference in the outdoor Instagram community.
- if you know what it feels like to look in the mirror and feel self-conscious about your body
- if you’ve ever felt ashamed in the face of a jibe about how you don’t fit into your gender’s preconceived, unrealistic body image ideals
you deserve to allow yourself to start taking steps towards accepting and loving who you are right now and how you look, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
people keep throwing all these comments around about how x body type isn’t healthy and saying others are either too fat or too skinny or whatever but you deserve to live your life with a healthy state of mind about yourself.
honestly the demand for constant productivity in college is so ignorant of neurodivergent people’s needs and limitations like how can I be expected to function let alone thrive in an instutution that literally caters to and only to people who are enthusiastically churning out work at virtually all times and are able to manage their time and maintain a healthy state of mind while doing it…like I understand there is a certain level of need for those things in order to progress and learn but instructors and faculty are just..not. understanding of students who literally cannot do those things on their own or possibly even to that standard at all and they are so quick to make students feel judged and worthless because of their perceived failings…like literally why can’t education systems and educators acknowledge that this shit is so draining and damn near impossible for us at times. I feel very isolated and alone in my struggle with this because of the way schools are structured but I know I’m not the only one who goes through this
‘In modern Western societies, happiness is often equated with the maximization of pleasure, and some people imagine that real happiness would consist of an interrupted succession of pleasurable experiences. This is far from what the Buddhist notion of sukha means. Sukha refers to an optimal way of being, and exceptionally healthy state of mind that underlies and suffuses all emotional states, that embraces all the joys and sorrows that come our way. It is also a state of wisdom purged of mental poisons, and insight free from blindness to the true nature of reality.
Authentic happiness can only come from the long-term cultivation of wisdom, altruism, and compassion, and from the complete eradication of mental toxins such as hatred, grasping, and ignorance.’
Matthieu Ricard, Why Meditate from the Fall 2010 edition of Tricycle, The Buddhist Review.
“Reprogramming”… That’s what my psychiatrist said I’m doing. I’m taking my actions and my destructive thoughts and I’m changing them. Reprogramming my mind into a positive healthy state it was suppose to be before I broke.
And really… Isn’t that what recovery is?
Now I’m not going to preach that losing weight automatically made me happy-because it didn’t. To most of us this is more than just losing weight. But eating well and eating often, regular *fun* exercise, and sleep helps so fucking much. So choose to recover, wether it’s mental, physical, emotional, etc… Remember it’s possible to reprogram anything.
((The first photos was when I was severely mentally ill and about 200lbs. The second photos are of me currently, working on my disorders and 150lbs. ))