a guide to happiness

10

i wrote this HOW TO BE HAPPY HAPPIER guide for Design*Sponge because i had a shitty few weeks earlier this month and i needed some of my own advice to get out of it

BTW (!!!!!!!)

an updated version of this post is gonna be in my book THINGS ARE WHAT YOU MAKE OF THEM! 13 full-color chapters of personal and no-bullshit illustrated essays like this. you can preorder it here for $10 and it comes out october 2017!!!!

7

So? Dude, what we do, you can’t learn this crap in a book. You put on a flannel, you pick up a gun, you go out there. Either you get good fast or you get dead faster. - Dean Winchester

Happy Birthday Abby @spn-idjits-guide-to-hunting

A Guide to Major Junior Hockey Names
  • QMJHL: French names (Maxime, Alexandre, Cédric, Pierre-Luc, Benoit-Olivier, David)
  • OHL: Common white boy names (Ryan, Dylan, Michael, Nathan, Mitchell, Matt)
  • WHL: Uncommon white boy names + 50 different spellings for Brayden (Skylar, Braylon, Cross, Krz, Kale, Jaeger, Bode)

A little birthday something for Abby who wanted “some happy Dean and Sam” - SN: 01x17/11x04

spring equinox part one.

clean house.

to the doormat in me;
you have the right to say no. never apologize for your decisions— explain yourself only at your discretion. never feel pressured to defend your choices. you do not need a reason to put you first. let your favors be in love and come from your overflow. do not starve yourself to feed others out of fear of loneliness. serve you everyday. say “no” today. say it again. don’t waste time trying to figure out who feels what about you. you have the right to be the only person you live for. free up your time that was once full of commitments that didn’t honor you. the kind of love worth a favor is counterfeit. do not become bitter when you see the love you gave was not returned to you. continue to love with discernment. you have the right to boundaries that only abide by you, and cause no harm to others. make it a mantra for others to follow. fall in love with having a voice. now fall in love with hearing your voice. become your favorite sound. you have the right to love that won’t exploit you. there are people who are okay with you living for yourself. the love you seek flows freely within you. you have the right to please you. do what makes you smile. you have the right to relationships with those that you won’t ask you to pay with your life to love them. your love belongs where it’s appreciated most, not with the highest bidder.

to the manipulator in me;
you have the right to engage in confrontations. you do not always have to concede to psychological warfare. allow people to know your wants, needs and desires in its most natural form— tell them. you do not have to live avoiding altercations. let that nervous feeling in the pit of your stomach be a reminder of your release from feeling undeserving. you have the right to ask for what you want directly, confidently. you do not have to plant seeds, use power of suggestion, and create dramatic scenes acting out roles of victim & damsel to access the affection you long for. you have the right to be honest with yourself. you have a duty to remind people how you prefer to be loved. you have a duty to know what to tell people because you know yourself. you have a right to authenticity, and a life void of ulterior motives. you can be yourself and still receive what you need. you will never have to deceive, extort, or exploit others for your needs again because you know there is enough for you. you have the right to ask for more from others. you don’t have accept everything that is given. you have the right to be vulnerable. you have a right to be safe.

to the ugliest parts of me;
you have the right to believe beautiful. you deserve to be showered with compliments. accept every kind word you receive without a counter argument. do not second-guess celebrations of yourself. bask in your moments of worship. you are glorious. we will never experience the unique frequency that is you, again. honor your rare existence. you are precious to me. be the best you there is. walk upright, and have compassion stored for the days that you don’t. you have the right to forgive yourself. the love you demand does not rely on successes and failures but on inherent self-worth. you are allowed to be imperfect, and you are allowed to receive love while imperfect. be proud of your work. there is healing in every mistake you made. they have a right to be seen so they can touch others. you are a picture best when shown when complete. find beauty in your own right. join hands with the rest of your existence. i am not complete without you.

part two.

my boundaries.

use this as a template to create your own boundaries, or you may use this.

people may not use me as their emotional dump.
people may not attempt to make me feel less than them.
people may not gossip, lie in front of me, or ask me to lie.

people may not invade my space without permission.
people may not use my needs to control me. people may not use me or my power to bring harm.
people may not be allowed to affect my mood. people may not negotiate me.

i may not be dishonest with myself.
i may not please for approval.
i may not put down others to feel good.
i may not hold on to what doesn’t serve me.
i may not use my power to cause harm.
i may not settle.
i may not compare.
i may not neglect my gifts given.

to protect my energy, it is okay to change my mind.
to protect my energy, it is okay to cancel a commitment.
to protect my energy, it is okay to take a day off.
to protect my energy, it is okay to not answer that call.
to protect my energy, it is okay to not share myself.
to protect my energy, it is okay to do nothing. to protect my energy, it is okay to be alone.
to protect my energy, it is okay to sleep in.
to protect my energy, it is okay to speak up.
to protect my energy, it is okay to move on.
to protect my energy, it is okay to let go.
to protect my energy, it is okay to change.

By: Warsan Shire

4

壁★ドン!!KABE★DON!!

takashi shirogane’s doki doki panic: a guide to romancing the black paladin. happy valentine’s, everyone!

[also on twitter]

A Quick Color Guide

Red: Fire, Blood, Passion, Anger, Danger, Strength, Power

Orange: Fire, Air, Happiness, Enthusiasm, Creativity, Determination

Yellow: Air, Happiness, Intellect, Energy

Green: Earth, Growth, Money, Harmony, Fertility

Blue: Water, Sea, Sky, Stability, Loyalty, Wisdom, Calmness

Purple: Spirit, Royalty, Power, Luxury, Ambition

Pink: Care, Compassion, Love, Friendship

White: Spirit, Good, Innocence, Purity

Grey: Neutrality, Balance

Black: Power, Elegance, Negativity, Death

Brown: Earth, Wood, Stability, Warmth, Grounding

The Sun: Your Guiding Light

Your sun sign represents your pride, ego, and what you like about yourself, as well as what qualities you admire in others. All the planets in our solar system revolve around the sun; this celestial body gives our world structure, stability, life, and light.

When you do things for the right reason, you are more likely to find happiness and success. Your sun sign, the constellation that rules your inner guiding light, indicates what that (right) reason might be.

You should do things…

Aries: for yourself, because you fucking feel like it.

Taurus: because you want to, and only because you want to.

Gemini: because you want to know more about the world around you.

Cancer: because they make you feel safe, cared for, and comfortable.

Leo: because they bring you attention, love, and recognition.

Virgo: because they help you become a better person, and help others too.

Libra: because they bring you inner peace and sate your thirst for justice.

Scorpio: because they make you feel deeply and resonate with your inner truth.

Sagittarius: because they’re fun, and make you smile and laugh.

Capricorn: because they pave the way to your future.

Aquarius: because they help you genuinely feel connected to other people.

Pisces: because they help merge your internal fantasies with external reality.

Example/explanation: If a Sagittarius uses, say, Cancer’s reason as their ‘guiding light,’ they are likely to end up feeling trapped and stuck. With Virgo’s reason, they might feel bored, anxious, and burdened. With Pisces’ reason, they may feel lost. A Sagittarius who does things just for fun, instead of to establish future security (like a Capricorn) or to get attention/recognition (Leo) is more likely to accomplish their chosen goal, and have a good time doing it. Things come to you more naturally if you approach your goals with the correct mentality.

*also applicable to your rising sign

guide to falling out of love

i. go back to the places where you felt safe. examine your feelings, do you still feel safe on your own? become self reliant.

ii. go grocery shopping. select your memories like frozen peas and wonder bread. most you won’t like to remember, some you will be grateful for.

iii. invent new emotions for yourself, like how a tree feels when the wind blows through it. you are an open window.

iv. find words to describe yourself in ways they never would. observe how your eyelashes make tender shadows on your cheek, how the soft fabric of your favorite teeshirt touches your skin. it is enough.

v. fall in love with everything else. become addicted to morning sunlight and the weeds on your lawn. the moths hovering around your porch light are meant to be there. invite them in.

Which Touhou characters you should hug: a guide
  • Reimu: Yes. She works very hard for very little reward and sometimes wonders if she is appreciated enough. Please give her a hug to show her you appreciate her defending Gensokyo. She needs it.
  • Marisa: Yes! Marisa is a wonderful friend and will hug you back with just as much enthusiasm. This will be a good experience.
  • Rumia: No! She may look cute and while hugging her would be a fantastic experience she is a carnivore and this would not end well for you
  • Cirno: Yes! Hug her and call her strong! She is tiny and deserves love.
  • Meiling: Absolutely! She gives big strong bear hugs and is probably a fantastic person to hug, 10/10.
  • Patchouli: Do not! Patchouli does not appreciate her personal space being invaded. Keep to yourself and instead let her know you appreciate her with a polite conversation.
  • Sakuya: Probably not. She has knives and is quiet and mysterious. Potential danger.
  • Remilia: Do not! You would embarrass her and you do not want to deal with her rage!
  • Flandre: DEFINITELY DO NOT!! She deserves lots of hugs but she cannot be gentle! You would die, please do not it's for the best
  • Letty: Yes! She will wrap you in her warm winter clothes and it will feel amazing, would recommend.
  • Chen: ABSOLUTELY!!!! She is a tiny cat and you will not regret it one bit.
  • Alice: Please do not unless she knows you well. Alice is a reclusive person and this would likely startle her.
  • Lunasa, Lyrica and Merlin: Yes!! Go for it! Three in one!
  • Youmu: Yes!! Youmu needs to know that she is doing an incredibly good job! She deserves it!
  • Yuyuko: ABSOLUTELY!!!!!!! She loves you very much and gives the best mom hugs!
  • Ran: YES!!! DO YOU SEE THOSE TAILS??? Y E S
  • Yukari: Maybe. She probably gives good mom hugs too but is also mysterious. Dangerous. Hug with caution
  • Suika: Yes, but be prepared, she is much stronger than she appears!
  • Wriggle: Only if you are alright with the possibility of friendly bugs crawling on you!
  • Mystia: Nope. nope nope nope. she may look tiny but you'll go blind and she'll eat you
  • Keine: Yes!! As long as the moon is not full! Otherwise maybe not she's a little spiky
  • Tewi: Nooooo! She may be fluffy but she is devious!!
  • Reisen: Yes, but slowly and gently! She is an ex-soldier and so you must be cautious.
  • Eirin: Yes!!! She is a kind beautiful grandmother and she loves you
  • Kaguya: Only if you bring her a branch from the jeweled tree of Hourai, the Buddha's stone begging bowl, a fire rat's robe, a jewel from the neck of a dragon, and a swallow's cowry shell
  • Mokou: Yes! Please! She needs one very badly and will appreciate it
  • Maribel: Yes!! But don't be surprised if you wind up somewhere else!
  • Renko: Yes!! if Maribel gets one it's only fair!!
  • Rinnosuke: Yes!! He is very nice and probably lonely in that shop by himself!
  • Fairies of light: Yes!! They are very cute!! But be wary of pranks!
  • Aya: Yes! She may try to sell you a newspaper but overall a good experience!
  • Medicine: YES!!! She's poisonous and you might get a rash but she needs it very badly
  • Yuuka: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
  • Komachi: Yes!! she may be a death youkai but she is not scary!
  • Eiki: No. You will be Punished
  • Rei'sen: Please do!! She is soft and nervous and will appreciate this!
  • Watatsuki no Toyohime: Yes!! She seems ok and might share a tasty peach with you!
  • Watatsuki no Yorihime: DO NOT!! YOU WILL BE FORCEFULLY REMOVED
  • Shizuha and Minoriko: YES!!! Say thank you for the seasons and good harvests!!
  • Hina: No! She appreciates you, but does not want you to have to suffer because of her. Stay away!!
  • Nitori: Do not!! She is shy and might not appreciate it. Instead tell her you appreciate her hard work!
  • Momiji: YES ABSOLUTELY!!! DO YOU SEE HOW FLUFFY
  • Sanae: Yes! She does a good job and this will make her happy!
  • Kanako: Do not!! You must show respect!! Donate to her shrine to show you care
  • Suwako: Yes!!!! She doesn't care about donations or worship and will take this happily!!
  • Iku: Wear insulated clothing and you're good
  • Tenshi: Yes!! She just wants friends!
  • Kisume: DON'T!!! she may be tiny and live in a bucket but she'll eat your face
  • Yamame: no!! she's nice but you could get sick. stay away
  • Parsee: DO IT!! she spends her entire life wanting to be loved like other people, please give her one!!
  • Yuugi: YES!! SHE IS BIG AND SHAPED LIKE A FRIEND
  • Satori: ABSOLUTELY! people fear her and so it would mean a lot to know somebody is not afraid of her for who she is!
  • Rin: Hug! Very soft and pettable
  • Utsuho: Do not hug! Very nice but also not very careful!
  • Koishi: Hug!! Please hug! She is extremely cute and it will be an amazing hugging experience, 11/10
  • Nazrin: Yes! She is small and fuzzy
  • Kogasa: ABSOLUTELY DO IT!!! she has been extremely lonely for a long time, she will appreciate this a lot!
  • Ichirin: Yes!!
  • Unzan: YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FLUFF
  • Minamitsu: Why not?? She's a ghost but you're ok if you're not on a boat
  • Shou: Do!! She is big and fuzzy
  • Byakuren: YES!!!! SHE IS MOM AND LOVES YOU ALL SO MUCH
  • Nue: Don't!!!! Dangerous!
  • Hatate: Please do!! she must be very lonely
  • Kasen: Yes! She is old and wise and very good!
  • Kyouko: ABSOLUTELY!!! HUG HER AND TELL HER SHE DOES AN AMAZING JOB AND IS A GOOD GIRL
  • Yoshika: Spooky but deserving of your love!!
  • Seiga: Nope nope, may seem nice but very wicked, you would be advised to not!!
  • Tojiko: Yes!! Very soft
  • Futo: Yea, doth!!!!
  • Miko: Maybe! She is royalty and must be respected. But she would probably be ok with it!
  • Mamizou: EXTREMELY YES!!!!!!!!! LOOK AT THAT TAIL!!!! PLEASE DO
  • Kosuzu: Please do!! She is very conflicted and needs a friend!!
  • Kokoro: YESSSS!!! SHE IS TRYING SO HARD PLEASE APPRECIATE HER
  • Wakasagihime: May be a little wet but overall a good idea!!
  • Sekibanki: Do not be alarmed if her head comes off! But yes!
  • Kagerou: Also not on the full moon! But otherwise yes!
  • Benben and Yatsuhashi: Yes! They are only babies!! Please give them love!!
  • Seija: NO!!! DO NOT!!! SHE IS BACKWARDS AND WILL DISLIKE THIS
  • Shinmyoumaru: ABSOLUTELY YES!! she is so tiny!!! hug her gently and carefully!
  • Raiko: Yes! She is a strong and wise youkai!!
  • Sumireko: Noooo! She is not good with people and this will most likely make her feel awkward! Instead tell her she is smart and skilled.
  • Seiran: Yes!! Fluffy!
  • Ringo: Yes!! Fluffy!!!
  • Doremy: YES!! FLUFFY!!!
  • Sagume: No!! You are not allowed in the Lunar Capital! You made yorihime mad again!!!
  • Clownpiece: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NONON ONONON ONONO
  • Junko: Yes! Please!! She needs it very badly she has had a lot of trauma in her life and the more love the better
  • Hecatia: Yes!! Looks like a good mom! Three hugs in one!!
  • Eternity Larva: yes!! but mind her wings, they are delicate!
  • Nemuno: Yes!! Do not mind the cleaver, she is a fantastic mom!!
  • Aunn: YES YES YES SHE's SO FLUFFY