a great artist is always before his time or behind it

shibolet3  asked:

Wait what con artist from 2014

I’d like to title this story “Swing And A Miss

Okay, so my high school had this program where seniors could leave school like a month and a half early and opt out of exams if they took on internships around the neighborhood, but not everyone wanted to/was eligible to do it. Back in like 2013, they had like 15 bored seniors stuck in the school, so the administration brought in this Professional Life Coach, left him in alone in a room with them for two hours to talk to them about like, self-esteem or some shit. All the kids were pulled out of their classes for this*, and later told the administration that they loved him, they really enjoyed the talk.

So, about a year later, we have a new principal. He’s supposed to set up an assembly for all the 11th and 12th graders, but he doesn’t know what to do. One of his coworkers mentions that there was a life coach that was a huge hit with the kids that didn’t do community study last year, so maybe he’d also be great for a larger audience. The principal basically thinks “okay, what the hell” and calls up and hires Jason C. Jean to come talk to the kids.

Now, it’s like, 10:30, maybe 11:00 in the morning, and two entire grades are getting shepherded to the main gymnasium, and no one wants to God damn be there. We ain’t got time for self esteem talks. We want to sleep. And this guy, watching us all drag our feet in and collapse into the bleachers was just like…offensively peppy. There’s a couple faculty members sitting behind him, the woman who suggested he be hired for this, the vice principals for the grades- but the principal himself kept getting calls so he was in and out the whole time.

Now, Mr. Jean was like…the chill “Just call me by my first name dude” history professor at college times 30. He was trying so fucking hard. I’m referring to him as ‘Mr. Jean’ in this story just to be disrespectful. So anyway, we all get in there, and he tells us right off the bat “You guys are totally allowed to be on your phones and laptops during this! I get it! It’s no problem, like really, I insist!” so while the faculty members are exchanging smiles that read ‘how do we kill that while respecting him’, all the kids are immediately pulling out their electronics and he’s starts his speech.

Now, again, I really wanna reiterate that he told us we could be on our phones- because when the news articles started coming out about this, I remember all these angry, annoying comments from old people like “Why the hell were the students on their phones in the first place! So disrespectful! These damn millennials and their social media!” like, they were completely ignoring the entire story and just focusing in on kids using the internet, and it Really Super Pissed Me Off, so. Again, we had permission for this (which also ended up being Mr. Jean’s fatal mistake).

So, he starts off this speech fairly normally, like ‘hi, I’m Jason, I’m a professional life coach and I wanna teach you kids about how to be The Best You!’ and like people were tuning him out and listening to varying degrees. Some kids (like myself) were kinda dozing off, and everyone was on twitter or facebook.

His approach to a self esteem speech seemed to be ‘let me tell you my entire life story for hours’ and like, at first I was like “I’m not really hearing this, I’m half dreaming right now” but the more I started making myself pay attention the more…bizarre and rambling his story got.

So like, for instance, he told us he drank a lot in high school. Like, a lot. But he didn’t use that as a ‘don’t drink or party too hard’ lesson, instead he was like “I was fourteen so I always called my parents to pick me up, and they weren’t mad because they knew it meant I could trust them. So remember, always tell your parents when you’re drinking!” and then it kinda got to a point where it sounded like he was encouraging partying and drinking and the like to the group of underage kids.

And then, he told us how he used to play baseball all the time when he was a kid, and at 16 reached a crossroads in his life where the Phillies wanted to draft him or he could go play football for Penn State. And he said he went with Penn State but later lost the scholarship for some reason and we’re like…really.

There was absolutely nothing coherent about anything he was saying- nothing that tied anything together, made a point, seemed like it had anything to do with an assembly on self esteem. He told us at one point he was making upwards of 7 million a year. He told us one time before college he was homeless. He told us he used to own a construction company and built his own branch of nightclubs himself, that he and his friend then ran. He told us he fought a shark and came out with no scars. He told us that he had less money now, because after surviving a work related accident- direct quote- “I fell almost 30 feet and I broke in half” - he decided to leave that industry and spend more time with his family.

So, yeah, I was pretty positive this was bullshit, but there were clearly kids in the room that were falling for it. But then he said something like…he and his friend got bored one day and started jarring up their own pasta sauce, and made a deal with wegmans or some store like that to start selling it, and now he has a pasta sauce empire. Like he spent 15 fucking minutes on this. The way he kept saying ‘pasta sauce’ was so annoying I was about to claw my ears out. But anyway, two girls in my grade wanted to find out what brand he was talking about, so they googled his name.

And then quietly gasped.

And then furiously started typing into their phones.

And remember- everyone, even though they were paying attention- was on twitter and facebook. All the sudden I see heads flying up and wide eyes and people whispering to each other. Mr. Jean doesn’t seem to notice the change and keeps rambling on, but I know something happened so I google him too and-

Okay so basically he’s 1) been arrested, 2) filed for bankruptcy like three times and 3) has been hailed as a ‘Swinger Guru’ by playboy.

EVERYONES SILENTLY FLIPPING OUT.

So by now, this is a fucking game- he still doesn’t notice anything wrong amongst the kids, so we’re all silently texting each other to fill each other in. Pulling up receipts. But still playing the part of politely intrigued audience members. The school faculty have no fucking idea what’s going on, until one of the students texts her mom, who happens to be the woman that convinced the principal to hire this guy. We see her check her phone, go wide-eyed, and she runs out of the fucking room presumably to either find the principal or hide in terror.

So Mr. Jean had been talking to random people intermittently throughout this speech, but we reach the ‘questions’ part of it. Everyone seems to silently agree that instead of just asking him anything outright, we should just see how good of a liar he was. So they’d be asking him stuff like ‘how much money did you make with ____ company’ and he’d give a ridiculously high number as people were sending each other reports of him filing for bankruptcy during that time. Or they asked him about his construction business which he said was great, and while he was talking about how great it was we were all reading his arrest report, from when a woman hired him to build her house, and he took her money and then like…just didn’t build anything. Wild. Someone asked him about his family and he’s extolling Christian virtues while we’re all on the website for his annual Swing Fest. People would ask him how he got certain jobs and he was making promises to hook kids up in interviews and shit. Everyone was loosing their God damn minds online and just barely holding it together in person. This man was so beyond full of shit- like, he was a God awful life coach but his dedication to lying was inspirational.

We eventually get to leave and everyone is yelling and cracking up and freaking out, all running to our classes to tell the teachers and the underclassmen everything, and the teachers are freaking out, alternating between horrified confusion and laughing hysterically. Before the school day even ended, someone had called a bunch of news stations. The principal was freaking out and denying he had anything to do with it, before calling some students to his office to see what exactly the kids had searched up on the guy…Because apparently teenagers can perform better background checks than school officials. It was all anyone could talk about for weeks.

A couple months after this, for my theater class’ showcase, I wrote and directed a skit called ‘Mason B. Mean’. It was a huge hit. The principal was in the audience. I’ve never seen a grown man look so dead inside. I made sure I was out of the room before he came up to congratulate the cast and everything. The next day, my theater teacher told me his only comment about the skit was a quiet, long-suffering “Why.” 😂😂

Annnnnnnnd that’s the time a Swinger Entrepreneur rambled on about pasta sauce and money in front of teenagers who knew how to use google for almost two hours.  

http://www.philly.com/philly/news/breaking/Montco_principal_apologizes_for_having_swinger_entrepreneur_speak_to_kids.html

spiritworldly  asked:

( whispers quietly ) eros & psyche ?

Aphrodite can’t get comfortable during her pregnancy. She’s always too hot, constantly sweating whether she’s in the in the oppressive heat at the bottom of the volcano, or in the icy air at the top of it. It makes no difference. No matter where she goes or what she does, she can’t find any relief. Hephaestus hovers over her, wringing his hands and leaning his head against her stomach. Her distended skin is too warm to the touch, and both of them can’t help but worry about their child that grows inside her.

They beg help from Artemis, who has no help to give them. “The child is healthy,” she tells them, mystified. “The mother is healthy, though pained. I can do nothing for you because there is nothing to be done.”

Time passes. The child is born. They call him Eros.

He burns.

~

He warms in Artemis’s hands as she cleans him and Aphrodite eagerly waits to be handed her son. Artemis cries out and has to put him down, blisters appearing on his hands. Aphrodite moves to pick him up, and she can stand his heat for longer, but after a few minutes he leaves a welt of burnt flesh against her chest. Hephaestus tries next, and manages to hold his son for a whole quarter of an hour before his skin is eaten away.

Artemis can do nothing. She insists there’s nothing wrong with him, it’s just how he is. Hephaestus crafts gloves of flexible metal so they can care for him – the babe’s fire reacts to the warmth of another person. Clothes and objects remain unburned. They go to Hermes, to Apollo, to Hestia, and none can help them. Hestia tries to hold the child. She is the keeper of celestial fire, which burns hotter than anything, yet she too comes away burned. “The celestial fire is of me, and so it cannot harm me,” she tells them regretfully, “Eros is not, and so he can.”

No one can help them.

Eros cries, constantly unhappy because he longs to be held and rocked, longs for the warmth of his parents but they can only give him snatches of affections, stolen moments before he burns them and they must retreat behind cool metal.

Aphrodite is desperate. She sneaks away to Mount Olympus, goes against her husband’s wishes and goes to Hera. She’s crying as she speaks, and Hera watches her with cool, impassive eyes. “There is nothing wrong with your son,” she says. “He is as he was made to be. If you cannot provide the care he needs, find someone who can.”

Aphrodite stares, betrayed. Hera has been kind to her in the past, was the one who helped her choose her husband when all of Olympus sought her hand. Aphrodite is a daughter of Zeus, but not of another woman, and so Hera hadn’t hated her.

Hera loses some of her sternness. “I have given you the answer you need, if not the one you wanted. Return to you child and husband.”

She goes.

She tells Hephaestus where she went, and instead of angry he becomes contemplative.

~

Ares is blood soaked and exhausted when his brother appears beside him in the middle of a battlefield. “Hephaestus,” he greets, startled, “Is something wrong?”

“I need your help,” says the man who had never once asked him for anything, “I know it hurts to leave, but–”

Ares shakes his head, “There will always be another war. What do you need?”

~

He can wield the lightning bolts of Zeus and he takes bathes in lava to soothe the ache of his muscles. Ares is not bothered by heat or flame because it passes through him, he manages to do these things because he absorbs their heat instead of being harmed by it.

He’s in his brother’s bed, holding his nephew, and Eros gives him a gap-toothed little grin from where he’s splaying out against his chest, skin against skin. “Cute kid,” he yawns. Hephaestus is on one side of him, and Aphrodite on the other.

Ares leeches most of the heat from Eros, so he’s cool enough to touch, so his parents can pat his back and kiss his forehead. “Thank you,” Hephaestus says, finally able to touch his son without consequence.

“Anytime,” Ares says, eyes sliding shut.

With his brother’s family curled around him, Ares finds enough calm to sleep.

~

When Eros is older, he learns to control it. He always runs hot, but by the time he’s gotten big enough that the cyclopses are constantly chasing him in fear of him getting into something he shouldn’t, he’s learned to regulate his temperature to the point he doesn’t burn anyone any more.

Or at least, he doesn’t burn any gods anymore. No matter how hard he tries, he’s too hot for any mortal to touch unharmed.

Before that, Ares spends every moment away from the battlefield with Eros that he can. He’s not always able to sleep, but he lies down with Eros on top him and with Aphrodite and Hephaestus on either side.

Rumors run rampant, like they always do. People say Eros is the product of a union between Ares and Aphrodite, they say that Aphrodite has been cheating on her husband since the moment they married.

“I’m sorry,” Ares says, face pinched.

Hephaestus smiles, and Ares relaxes. “You are only doing what I’ve asked of you. There’s nothing to apologize for.”

Ares can’t help but feel guilty anyway.

~

Eros grows, from a toddler to a man. He burns, a wide laughing mouth and eyes like the sun. When he’s declared the god of passion, no one is surprised.

He has the best features of both his parents, and is devastatingly beautiful, with a face that Helen herself would weep over. He is the son of the goddess of love and the god of craftsmanship, and passion is necessary for both.

Passion is many things. There is passion in love, and he goads many a shy couple into a desperate embrace. There is passion in war, and when the battlefield grows stilted and tired he joins his favorite uncle there and brings their energy to the fore. There is passion in academia, and Eros encourages many scholars who spend long nights seeking answers they may never find. There is passion in art, and he blesses uninspired artists to create their heart’s desire.

Passion is a quickening heartbeat, a want that must be sated, a determination to follow through. It is burning until you are nothing more than ash simply because the fire is too beautiful to put out.

Eros is a favorite among the gods, because so much of what he does benefits them. He quickens the pulse of a people, and they use that energy to do great deeds in the gods’ names.

He is beautiful and powerful and loved. He wants for nothing, until –

- until his mother sends him to help a village girl who has been praying to her for months.

Eros sees Psyche, and instantly knows the weight of love in his chest.

~

Psyche is beautiful.

She knows this, it is the one thing about herself that she knows. All her life people tell her this, when she’s a babbling baby and a little girl and a fully grown woman, it’s what people say to her.

Men come to her seeking her hand, crossing borders and monsters to end up at her door. “I have no dowry,” she tells them, “I cannot cook, I am a poor seamstress, I have never cleaned a home.”

“I do not care,” they all tell her, with their greedy eyes and their greedy hands, “You are beautiful.”

Her mother and aunts shooed her from the kitchen as a child, saying the steam would ruin her pretty hair, wouldn’t let her sew because the needles would harden her soft hands, didn’t want her to spend hours cleaning because the she was too lovely to mar with common dirt.

Other children wouldn’t play with her, including her sisters, and soon she ran from all her tutors whose gazes made her shoulders itch. The first time someone lays tribute at her feet, like she is some sort of goddess and not a simple village girl, she runs away and locks herself in her room.  

The tributes and prayers don’t stop, and she hates them. She only wants to be like everyone else, wants to read and cook and have friends. Every night she bundles up the gifts and tributes people give her sneaks away to the temple of Aphrodite. She lays these things where they belong, with the goddess of beauty and love. “Please,” she begs, every night, “please make it all stop, revered goddess. I can’t live this way.”

She does this, for years and years, but her prayers are never answered. She sinks lower and lower, feeling confined to her home like a prisoner since she can’t leave it without flowers being thrown at her feet or someone remarking on her figure and face. Her sisters will not speak to her, and her parents will not listen to her. She eats less and spends days languishing in bed, growing weaker and more tired by the day.

One day, after turning away yet another suitor and being turned away yet again when she tries to help her mother in the kitchen, she goes far out of the village, where no will find her, where no one will be able to remark on the beauty of her corpse.

She walks to the edge of a cliff, and takes a deep breath. “Lady Aphrodite,” she whispers, “let me be ugly in my next life.”

She jumps.

~

Eros sees her falling, and bids Zephyr to save her. She is caught gently by the wind. However, she’s so weak and malnourished that the shock of not falling to her death causes her to pass into unconsciousness. He wishes he could have save her himself, that he could take her in his arms now and cradler her close to his chest.

But he burns.

If he touched her, he would harm her, so he will not.

“Take her to my home,” he says, conflicted because he has no interest in growing into either Zeus or Poseidon. But he cannot touch her, so it’s not the same. “I’ll be along shortly.”

Zephyr carries her away, far into the distance.

This is not what his mother intended when she sent him here, but he can’t leave Psyche among the mortals. If she tried to kill herself once, she’ll do it again, and then where will he be?

Eros feels heavy with love, and he does not know this girl, he does not know how this is possible unless it has been arranged by the Fates. Psyche is a beautiful girl, but he is a god. He is the son of the goddess of beauty and every other goddess he knows is comparable in the grace of their form and face. Beautiful mortals do not tempt him.

He has other things to attend to, so he puts aside the problem of Psyche so he can go convince a young noble lady to kiss the baker’s daughter.

~

Psyche wakes up, which she wasn’t expecting. What’s more, she’s not in pain. She’s being carefully deposited on soft grass by a being she can’t see. “Where am I?” she cries. She doesn’t think this is the afterlife. She’s on top of a large mountain, and a large, gorgeous home with marble columns sits on the edge.

There is an edge. She can still jump. She takes one hesitant step closer when a strong gust of wind pushes her back and something like a voice says, This is the home of a god, do not desecrate this place with your blood.

“Okay,” she says, a mixture of relief and fear clogging her throat, “Can I – can I go inside? It’s cold out here.”

The wind pushes her towards the home, so she takes that as permission.

It’s all marble and gold and fur, perfectly decorated and with many rooms and interesting things. But Psyche finds the bedroom, and in between the long journey outside of her village and the adrenaline of being caught by the wind and brought here, she’s exhausted. She climbs onto the soft bed without thinking, and is asleep the moment her head touches the pillow.

~

The moon is high in the sky by the time Eros returns home. He steps inside, and doesn’t light any of the torches out of fear of startling the girl. He finds her in his own bedroom, and only has a moment to stare at her silhouette against his white blankets before she’s stirring, pushing herself up looking around the room. Her eyes aren’t as good as his, so she can’t even see the outlines of objects. To her, it is complete darkness. “Who’s there?” she demands, voice scratchy from sleep, “What do you want?”

“I am a friend,” he says, not saying his name. He knows the impression mortals have of him, and the last thing she needs to hear is that he’s the god of passion while she lies helpless before him in his bed. “The wind brought you here because you threw yourself from the cliff face. Why would you do that?”

She sits up and pulls her knees to her chest. “I don’t want to talk to about it.”

He sighs, but doesn’t push. “I’m not here to make you do anything you don’t want to do.”

“What are you here to do?” she asks, “Why am I here?”

She sounds sad, and scared, and he wishes he could touch her. He wishes he could take her hands and kiss her forehead, but he can’t, not without hurting her. “I think it would be best if you stayed with me, for a while. Until you no longer find cliffs so tempting. I have a beautiful home, and am often gone while attending to my duties, so feel free to make full use of it.”

“What do you get out of it?” she demands.

He smiles, wry, and knows she cannot see it. “I suppose I could use a housekeeper.”

He meant it as a joke, but she perks up at the words. “A housekeeper? Really?”

“If you like,” he says, although there are nature sprites who tend to his home for him if necessary. “I apologize, we’ve been speaking in the dark this whole time. I’ll light the lanterns.”

He moves to do so, a flicker of flame already appearing on his fingertips when she screams, “NO! DON’T!”

Eros freezes. “Psyche?”

“You can’t look at me,” she says desperately, “Please. Not – not ever. If you saw me, you wouldn’t be so nice to me. I – I want you to be nice to me. Don’t light the lanterns.”

“Never?” he asks, and he’s already seen her from afar, he knows what she looks like. But it sounds as if she’s seconds away from away from crying, and it seems like it would only be a cruelty to tell her this now.

“Never,” she says, “please. Please.”

Staying away from home during the day is a small thing, what with his parent’s volcano always open to him, and he can see well enough in the darkness that he’s not in any danger of tripping over his own feet. “Very well, Psyche. If that’s what you want. We will only meet in darkness, and I shall never see your face.”

~

Psyche takes his offhand comment about housekeeping seriously. She’s never cleaned before, but she’s seen it done, it’s simple if not easy. The first time her hands blister and crack she can’t stop smiling for the rest of the day. She spends her days cleaning, and at first that takes up all her time. She’s unpracticed, and slow, and she falls into the same bed utterly exhausted. It leaves her no time to dwell on the life she left behind, or the hollow ache below her breastbone.

It’s hard work, and it leaves her ravenous. Before, she ate almost nothing and slept most of the day away. She doesn’t do that here, can’t, has more of an appetite than she’s had since she was a child. Nymphs bring food to the home, fruits and vegetables, bread and cheese and meat. At first she makes only simple meals, but as the cleaning takes less and less time she finds herself trying more things. Cooking is harder to get the hang of than cleaning.

Her friend comes to her at night, slipping into her room. She always knows when he’s there, even if she’s deep in sleep, and will wake up to speak to him. Psyche never leaves the bed, and he never comes from across the room. She sits up and listens to his voice, of the people he saw and things he did. She tells him the same, even though at first she thinks he does not care. But he does, because he asks her questions and compliments her on polishing the floors until they shine. One night after a particularly bad failure, the first thing he does is ask, “Did you try and burn down my kitchen, Psyche?”

He’s laughing, so she throws a pillow at him, and is satisfied by the dull thud of it hitting true and his laughter growing louder. “If I had tried I would have succeeded, and you would have come home to an ash pile.”

“Then I’m pleased by your restraint,” he says, and she scowls at him even though he can’t see it. “What was that horrible smell supposed to me?”

“Lamb,” she says, sighing. “I don’t think I’m a very good cook.”

“Perhaps not. Why don’t you try doing something else? What else do you enjoy?” he asks.

She sits cross legged on the bed and frowns. “I don’t know,” she says finally, “I’m a poor artist and a worse singer. I have no eye for needlework. I like knowing things, but I’m not a fan of learning. I – I like cleaning. I like using my hands.”

“Focus on what you like. Try to do some things with your hands. The garden could use some looking after,” he suggests.

“I do have to eat,” she points out, “I might as well learn to cook.”

He snorts. “Spare both yourself and my kitchen. Don’t worry about that. Worry about the mint that’s taking over the rose bushes.”

She doesn’t know what he means until she gets up the next morning and finds a day’s worth of food waiting for her, already made and much tastier than anything she’s managed. Next to it is a book on gardening.

This, she has a knack for. It is a god’s garden, so it has always been beautiful, but under her hands it becomes even more so, flourishing and vibrant under her attentions. She plants flowers that bloom and glow at night, so that her friend may walk through the garden and be greeted by something that doesn’t slumber.

Her hands are calloused and hard, and dirt gets stuck under fingernails. Her hair is a sweaty mess and breaking at the ends, and her skin is tanned in patches, her arms and the back of neck darker than her stomach and thighs. Freckles pop up in unexpected places, on her wrists and shoulders, a single one slightly off center of her sternum.

She has never felt more beautiful.

Psyche is stronger now, food and hard work having thickened her waist and brightened her eyes. She does not fall asleep exhausted each night, but instead sits up waiting for her friend to visit her, eagerly listening to his adventures of the day and telling him of all the things she did, of the new plants she’s trying to grow and how the shrubbery is stubbornly growing in uneven heightd.

“My hands are all rough,” she tells him one night, like it’s a secret.

He doesn’t understand. “Have you tried rubbing olive oil in them?”

She laughs, and gets to her feet, confident she knows the room well enough that she won’t stumble or fall and walking towards his voice. “No, it’s a good thing, it’s never happened before. See?”

She reaches out and he shouts, “No! Don’t touch me–”

It’s too late, her hand has already blindly grabbed onto his arm. She lets go, “I’m sorry! I didn’t know–”

“We have to get you to Hermes, before the burns get too bad,” he says urgently.

Now she’s the one who doesn’t understand. “What burns?”

He quiets. “You’re not hurt?”

She flexes her hand, mystified. “No. Should I be?”

“I – everyone else always was,” he says.

“I’m not everyone else,” she says confidently, and takes another step closer. She grabs onto his arm again, fumbling until she can hold his hand in hers. He flinches, but doesn’t pull away from her. “See, I’m fine.”

Carefully, and oh so slowly, he curls an arm around her waist and pulls her forward until she’s flush against his chest and full lips press against her forehead. “I’m – I’m glad.”

He’s not just talking about her not being burned. She feels such a surge of affection for him in this moment, and being held in his arms she realizes something. She loves him, this man she’s never seen and doesn’t truly know. He’s kind and funny and has given her back a life she hadn’t known she’d lost. He’s never touched her or coveted her, and even now in his arms there’s nothing lecherous or uncomfortable about his touch.

That might change, if he saw her. If he knew how she looked, he might forget about the rest of her, and to lose his affection and regard now would kill her as surely as that fall from the cliff would have.

But he does not need to see her to touch her.

She shifts enough so that he raises his head, and gathers her courage. She presses their lips together, lightly at first, then less lightly when he returns it. “Come to bed,” she says, when they part, dizzy with emotions she’s never had before.

“Are you sure?” he asks, voice rough.

She’s never been more sure of anything in her life.

“Yes.”

~

That’s her life now, her days filled with cleaning and gardening and her nights with her friend, her now lover. He’s never told her his name, and she doesn’t want to ask. He doesn’t see her and she doesn’t know his name. It seems better that way, more fair. She falls asleep in his arms every night, and he’s gone by the time she wakes, gone before the first ray of sunlight creeps through the window.

He loves her. It’s obvious, so incredibly obvious that she’s ashamed she didn’t notice before. He let her sleep in his bed even before they were sleeping together, gave over his home to her and requested nothing in return, listens to her and laughs with her. He loves her, and she loves him, and it’s time she trusted him.

She’s wide awake when he comes to her, greeting her with a kiss. He notices her stiffness and pulls back. “Is something wrong?”

“I think it’s time you saw my face,” she’s shaking, and she can’t stop it. She loves him and is terrified his love for her will change when he sees her.

She sits up in bed, and he kneels in front of her on the floor, holding her hands in his. “Psyche, you don’t have to if you don’t want to. It’s okay.”

She shakes her head, “No. I love you, and – and we should be together in the light of day, our love is too big to fit in this room anymore.”

He kisses her wrist and says, “Whatever you like.”

How will she live without this love? Hopefully she won’t have to find out. She reaches for a lantern and sets it in her lap, lighting it with careful fingers. A soft glow fills the room, and she squeezes her eyes shut, waiting.

A finger touches a spot on her sternum, then her shoulders, her neck, her cheeks, then the tip of her nose. “You have freckles,” he says, “I like them.”

She opens her eyes. Her lover is smiling at her, and he’s gorgeous, every bit as pretty as she is with dark eyes and even darker skin. Most importantly, he’s looking at her like a person, with love and affection. Not with something blank and othering like so many people have looked at her before, not like she’s an object or an art piece.

The tidal wave of relief is so great that she’s weak with it. She realizes her mistake a second later when the lantern slips out of her hands, spilling hot oil.

Her lover reacts faster than any mortal man could, pushing her out of the way and catching the lantern at an awkward angle, so most of the burning oil spills down his arms and chest. “No!” Psyche cries.

He looks down at his blistering skin with fascination, “That’s never happened before.” He winces, and clenches his hands as the burns spread along his body, as his skin cracks and bleeds.

“Lie down!” Psyche cries, grabbing the sheets and trying to mop up the oil, trying to stop it from spreading. “What were you thinking? You should have let it fall on me!”

It’s burning more than hot oil should, and she’s sobbing as tries to stop it. “Don’t be ridiculous,” he says, voice slurring as his eyes slide shut. “I would never let anything hurt you.”

“No!” she grabs his shoulders and shakes him, “Wake up! You have to wake up!”

He doesn’t respond. Psyche thinks back, frantic, to when he thought he had burned her when they first touched, to the person he said they needed. “HERMES!” she screams, “HERMES! A GOD NEEDS YOU!”

There’s a flash of light, and the messenger god of healing and is in front of them. “Eros,” he says, dropping down beside him and not looking at Psyche at all. “What happened to you?”

He touches his chest, and then they’re both gone.

Psyche is left alone crying next to an oil soaked sheet.

~

Hermes takes Eros to his parents, both of whom drop everything to come to his side. “What happened?” Hephaestus demands.

Hermes concentrates on containing the burns before they can spread any further. He can worry about healing them alter. “He dropped oil on himself.”

“He’s a god,” Aphrodite snaps, “no oil can harm him. Even if it could, it wouldn’t be able to do this.”

Hermes shoots them both a grin, “It seems like your boy’s fallen in love. Only true love could cool him enough to burn him, only true love could hurt him like this.”

It’s at that moment that Eros gasps awake. He reaches out, and Aphrodite takes his hand. “Mom,” he says, eye wide, “please, go to my house, there’s a girl there–”

“Did she do this to you?” she asks dangerously.

“It was an accident. I pushed her out of the way, I didn’t know I would burn,” he moans in pain, then grits his teeth against it. “Mom, please. Please go to her.”

She looks to Hermes, who’s busy mixing a salve. He doesn’t look up at her as he says, “Your son will be fine. I’ll take care of the burns.”

Hephaestus meets her gaze and gives a sharp nod. “Go, I’ll stay with him.”

Aphrodite doesn’t want to leave him, but gives in and does as her son asks of her.

~

She shows up just in time to stop the mortal girl from hurling herself from the mountain side. “What do you think you’re doing?” she snaps, and takes a moment to register that it’s the village girl she sent Eros to help so long ago. This wasn’t what she’d had in mind.

Her red eyes and tear soaked face does more to sooth Aphrodite’s temper than any excuses she could have given. “He’s dead,” she sobs, “I love him, and he’s gone, and there’s no reason for me to live any longer. Please, let me die.”

Aphrodite sees the glow of love on her, and knows the girl’s affection for her son is true. “He is not dead,” she hesitates and adds, “yet.”

True love has started wars and left all involved nothing but dust and regret. Her son deserved more than that. A love must not only be true – it must be pure.

“If you wish for him to live, you must help me,” she says.

Psyche prostrates herself before her, “Anything! I’ll do anything!”

Aphrodite moves them to warehouse full of mixed grains. “You must sort these before dawn. Barley is necessary for a poultice that will heal my son. Hurry.”

~

Psyche looks at all of them and despairs. But her lover needs her. Eros needs her.

She gets to work.

The night is halfway gone and she’s not even a tenth of the way complete. There’s no hope, her love will die, and there’s nothing she can do to stop it. She gives in, and is sobbing in the middle of the warehouse when she feels a tickling sensation on her hand. She looks down to see a small ant. “Why are you crying?” the ant asks.

“I need to sort all these grains, and I cannot do it,” she says, sniffling. “My lover needs the barely to heal.”

The ant considers this. “I will help you,” it declares, “and in return you must allow me to take all the beans from this store.”

“They are not mine to give,” Psyche says regretfully, “so I cannot accept your help.”

“Then your lover will die,” the ant says callously, and leaves.

She looks at the unsorted pile of grains. Not if she can help it.

Psyche shoves up her sleeves and gets back to work.

~

Aphrodite shows up, and Psyche is still working. She’s gotten through three quarters of the grains, and Aphrodite is impressed. She did not think she would manage to get through even half. The girl clearly hasn’t slept, and even now doesn’t pause in her work. “Lady,” she says, “I’m not done yet.”

“That is enough,” Aphrodite says, looking at the sizable pile of barley. She produces a glass bottle and puts it in front of her. “To stave of death while we make the poultice, we need water from the river Styx. There is a spout on top of my son’s mountain. You must collect this water and return it to me.”

Psyche’s shoulder’s slump, but she doesn’t hesitate when she takes the glass bottle. “I will do it.”

~

Psyche calls for the wind, begging it to take her to the top of the mountain. If the lady wishes, it says. She’s lifted into the air, and brought there. She’s freezing, and it’s hard to breath in the cold air. Dragons sit on either side of the spout, snapping their jaws at her. “Please!” she calls out, “I need the water of the river Styx! I act in the name of Aphrodite.”

They hiss and spit fire at her, and she clings to the side, trying to avoid the flames. “We are not commanded by the Lady Aphrodite,” a child’s voice says, and Psyche looks up to see a girl with black skin and grey hair looking down at her from the back of one of the dragons.

“Please,” Psyche says, “Lady Styx, grant me some of your river. Eros need it to live.”

Styx frowns, and says, “This is not a water which brings life.”

“Please,” she repeats, “I swear no harm will be done in your name, I swear my intentions are honest.”

The child goddess sighs and says, “Come and get it then. If my dragons’ flames pass through you, then you speak the truth, and may have some of my river. If you lie, then I shall see you again in the underworld.”

Psyche nods and walks forward, not breaking eye contact with the child goddess. The dragons screech and flame roars towards her and then – it goes through her. She reaches the top of the mountain safely. She holds out the glass bottle.

Styx laughs and fill it for her. “Happy travels,” she says, right before pushing her off the mountain. Zephyr catches her halfway down, and it takes several seconds for Psyche to stop screaming.

Zephyr deposits her back on the ground, and Aphrodite appears before her. Psyche hands over the bottle.

Aphrodite undoes it and pours the water out, and the grass dies wherever it falls. “It’s too late,” she says, and Psyche’s heart is in her throat, “the only thing left to do is to go to Persephone and beg a spark of life from her.” She slashes her hand down, and opening into the underworld appears. “Persephone will not grant any request of mine. You must go.”

She barely finished speaking when Psyche throws herself through the portal.

~

Aphrodite stares at the place where the girl stood, stunned. Hermes appears beside her. “Your son is well and only sleeps,” he says, “Isn’t this a bit unnecessary?”

“My son has a heart that will never stray. She must prove herself worthy of it,” Aphrodite answers.

Hermes stares, “You will petition Zeus for her?”

“If she proves herself worthy,” she says, then looks at the place where she poured out the incalculably dangerous water of the river Styx. “She’s doing quite well, so far.”

~

Psyche stumbles as she goes through the portal and falls on her knees. This ends up being rather lucky, as it’s taken her to the throne room of the palace of the underworld. Not only is Persephone there, but so is Hades and a god she thinks might be Thanatos. Both Persephone and Thanatos throw Hades narrow eyed looks, which he ignores. “Miss Psyche,” he says, “we’ve been expecting you.”

“Have we,” Persephone says dryly.

Psyche shuffles forward until she’s kneeling in front of Persephone and presses her forehead to the cool obsidian floor. “Lady Goddess,” she says, “I beg a spark of life from you.”

Persephone rises from her throne, and circles her with slow measured steps, her face blank and cold. “I’ve seen you garden,” she says finally, “you have quite a talent with plants.”

“Thank you, Lady,” she says.

Persephone crouches and grabs her chin, jerking up her chin to get a good look at her. “Well, aren’t you a pretty little thing,” she murmurs. “I will give you a spark of life. In return, you must give me your beauty.”

“Take it,” Psyche begs, elated the price is so small, “I don’t want it, I’ve never wanted it. All I want is Eros.”

Her coldness melts away, and the goddess of life and death shakes her head, a small smile curled around the corner of her lips. “He chose well,” she says.

Psyche doesn’t understand until there’s another rip in the air, and her lover steps through. He looks healthy, alive and well. “Eros!” she cries, forgetting her place and standing in the presence of the king and queen of the dead. Before she can kneel once more, Eros runs to her and picks her up in his arms, raising her into the air and spinning her.

“I was so worried about you,” he says, kissing her, then kissing her tears away.

“I thought you were dying!” she says, running her hands over his chest and shoulders and nearly falling in relief when the skin there is whole and unburned.

He winces and kisses her once more, “My mother – I asked her to help you, not test you. I’m sorry.”

“You should be grateful,” Hades says, and they both turn to face him. “Psyche has proven herself, and Aphrodite intends to contest Zeus so that she may stay by your side for eternity.” He smiles, “If Aphrodite is unsuccessful, come to me. I will do what I can.”

They both bow to him, and then are gone in the next moment.

~

Aphrodite goes to Hephaestus, “You are his son, Zeus would want the request to come from you.”

“You are his daughter,” he shoots back, even as he paces.

She sighs, “I was born of his blood and sea foam. It is not the same, and you know it.”

Hephaestus gives a grudging nod. Neither of them are favorites among Olympus, so he goes to someone who is.

Ares looks at him consideringly. “You should ask Mom yourself. Father will do as she says.”  

“Hera hates me,” Hephaestus snaps. “She will reject my son’s request if I’m the one to present it.”

Ares grabs the back of his brother’s neck, pulling them together until their foreheads touch. Some tension gradually bleeds out of Hephaestus. “Try, for me,” Ares says. “If she denies you, I will ask her, and she will not deny me.”

Hephaestus goes to Mount Olympus when Zeus is gone and kneels before Hera. He looks up, and can’t help but think that Ares is right – they have her eyes. Eros has her eyes too. “My son has fallen in love with a mortal girl whom he wishes to marry. I petition you to allow her to become immortal.”

He’s braced for anything, shoulders hunched. Her laughter, her scorn, for her to throw him from Mount Olympus like she did when he was freshly born. “Would this make you happy?” she asks.

He blinks, mouth open. Is this some other cruel trick, to force him to admit it’s something he wants only so she can take greater pleasure in denying him? “Yes,” he says, because it’s true. It will make Eros happy, and when his son is happy, he is happy.

“Very well,” Hera says coolly. “We will have the wedding on Mount Olympus, and once they exchange vows she will become like us.”

He stares, frozen in shock. He didn’t expect it to be that easy. He’s never heard of anyone requesting anything from Hera and just getting it besides Ares.

“Was there anything else?” she asks.

Hephaestus shakes his head, “No, my queen. Thank you.”

He’s gone before she has a chance to respond, before she has a chance to change her mind.

~

Eros and Psyche’s marriage is the event of the century. Gods great and small show up for it, even Hades is convinced to leave his realm to attend.

They pledge their lives to each other, and Hera officiates as the goddess of marriage. Once they swear their loyalty to one another, she takes a small square of ambrosia and hand feeds it to Psyche. She swallows it in two bites, and when she’s finished she glows with her new status as an immortal.

Eros grabs Psyche and dips her.

When he kisses her, the gods’ cheering is loud enough that it causes thunder storms all across earth.

gods and monsters series, part xix

read more of the gods and monsters series here

Queen Penny

Rewind the clock by a couple of decades and I was working as a team lead for an office supply store. This office supply store has a “copy center” where staff members would print, copy, and scan stuff for customers.

Enter “Penny”. Penny was a middle-aged woman who would come in every Friday smelling like wine, dressed somewhat elaborately, and who would make ridiculous demands on the copy center staff. Penny: crazy lady!

Penny’s weekly Friday afternoon visitations had been going on for a while before I ever became aware of her. She would come in with elaborate letters including photos, keepsakes, etc written to England’s Royal Family - various members from the Queen to Prince Charles to Fergie. She would make the copy staff photocopy the letters, demanding perfection to the point where she measured the margins to ensure the contents copied were in the exact center of the page. Then she would make the copy center staff package the letters and, when she did include something such as photos, inspect the packing to ensure the tape was perfectly even and pay the shipping to Buckingham Palace in London. She would frequently make the copy staff read the photocopied letters back to her. When they had initial refused to, she had called district management and complained so this request was honored whenever she asked.

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Falling Stars ~ Finn Wolfhard x Reader

If you asked me a couple of years ago where I thought I’d be at the age of fourteen, I wouldn’t have had an answer to give. And even if I did, it would have been so far from reality that I may as well not have even bothered to give it. I had filmed two seasons of an award-winning TV show, shot a movie adaptation of one of the best books ever written, been noticed in the acting, singing and dancing world alike, and of course, met the most special people in my life.

It was a Friday in mid-October, and I was currently in front of the cameras and under the lights with Millie Bobby Brown. The entire cast of Stranger Things had been called to New York City for the week. Friday to Friday. Since season two was just around the corner, we were everywhere. But in a good way. Currently, Millie and I were doing a photo shoot and an interview for Buzzfeed. 

We had been informed that while we were in the city, the cast of IT was flying out for a Stranger Things x IT shoot. It was for an article about young actors and how it’s been a great couple of years for our careers. Finn and I are in Stranger Things and IT, so it was going to be great spending time with everyone. It was also the night of the Emmy’s tomorrow.

“Okay!” One of the many photographers shouted, “You girls are doing great! While we get a few shots of just the boys, you can go take a quick break before the main pictures!”

Millie and I headed towards our shared dressing room and sat down on the plush sofa in the corner. The coffee table was covered in snacks and drinks. 

“So,” Millie said while taking a sip of water, “You’re spending a week with Finn.”
I opened a packet of Sour Patch Kids. “Correction, WE are spending a week with Finn. And everyone else.”
“True, but still. It’s the perfect opportunity to tell him.”
“Millie, how many times-”
“I know, I know,” She rolled her eyes, “You don’t think he feels the same way. You’re wrong, you know.”
“I really don’t think I am.”
“We’ll see. Especially after the performance tomorrow night.” Millie smirked

My stomach lurched at the mention of tomorrow night. Since the world found out that I could sing a few months ago, I had been invited to a million different places to perform. Tomorrow I was going to be on the stage at the Emmy’s. And I was flipping my shit on the inside. Millie could tell.

“Y/N, it’s going to be great! Jack, Jaeden, Wyatt, Sophia, Jeremy, and Chosen,” Millie listed our friends from IT on her fingers, “Are all flying out here tomorrow. We get to spend the afternoon with them all and then we’ve got the awards. You’ll perform, be brilliant like always, and then we’ll come back to the hotel for our movie night.”
“You really think it will work out?”
“Of course I do! And you never know, things might happen with Finn.”
“Hopefully.”

Our makeup artists came in armed with brushes and highlight to give our faces touchups. We gladly took our seats in front of the mirrors.

“Right then girls, it’s time to head back in for group shots.”

When the shoot was over we got into the cars that had been sent for us and headed back to the hotel. The Hilton was putting us up for the week, and when the others arrived tomorrow, they would be joining us in the room opposite. I could hardly contain my excitement. 

I was between Millie and Gaten in the back of one of the Jeeps. We were just talking about how well the shoot went and how we got to stay in such an expensive hotel. Before long, we arrived. 

The driver came an opened the doors and we jumped out onto the pavement. Somebody was already getting our luggage so I only had to carry my backpack. Finn was waiting for me. I couldn’t get over how much he’d grown up. He was taller, more defined, and his voice was another story completely.

“Hey, Y/N.” His smile gave me butterflies. “You looked great today.”
“Thanks, Finn. You didn’t look too bad yourself.”
He flushed. “So, we’re staying at the Hilton Hotel for a week. Crazy.”
“I know right. Just because it’s the Hilton, doesn’t mean I’m not stealing the little soaps.”
Finn laughed as we made our way through the front doors behind everyone else. “How did I guess that you were going to say that?”
“Because you know me too well.”
~
Millie and I were sharing one of the rooms, Finn and Noah next door, and Gaten and Caleb in the room after that. The suites were huge. The equivalent of a twin bedroom was actually to Queen sized beds, a bathroom, an en-suite, a kitchen and living space, and a huge balcony. It was the most beautiful hotel room I had ever seen. I was expecting gorgeous, but this was over the top.

I picked the bed by the window and started looking through my stuff. Millie was hanging things up in the walk-in wardrobe. We had a walk-in wardrobe in our hotel room?! 

“Hey, Millie?” I said
“Yeah?”
“When are our gowns being dropped off?”
“Tomorrow morning. Why?”
“I just really want to see it. Having it fitted was so fun.”
“I bet you can’t wait for Finn to see it either.”
“I know girls aren’t supposed to dress for boys, but I can’t help it.”
“I know, I know. Not to mention the fact that the whole world will see us too.”
“I still can’t get my head around that.” I took my clothes into the huge closet and started to hang them along with Millie.
“Me either. It still seems so surreal.”

Our conversation was interrupted by knocking at our door. I put the pile of pyjamas I was holding down and ran to answer it. It was Finn and Noah.

“We’ve ordered a crapload of food and the TV’s have Netflix. The others will be over in five.”

Noah and Finn let themselves into your hotel room and made themselves comfortable on one of the sofas. They were both in comfier clothes.

“Oh hi, Noah. Hi Finn. I know, these rooms are so big! And we’re great, thanks for asking. Why don’t you come in and make yourselves at home?” This was, of course, sarcasm since the boys didn’t even give me so much as a hello. The just laughed as I went into the bedroom to put your pyjamas on.

I went with black cotton shorts, fluffy socks and Wyatt’s Canada hoodie. I still had it from a couple of months when I stole it at the beach house. He was like a brother to me, so I knew he wouldn’t mind. Millie put a onzie on and grabbed some blankets. When we went out to the others, Gaten and Caleb had arrived. Finn looked up and saw me in Wyatt’s sweater.

“Does Wyatt know you’ve got that?”
“Yeah,” You sat next to him and Noah on the sofa, putting a blanket over the three of you, “I facetimed him a week after the beach house and I was wearing it. He said he’ll bring me my own.”

Finn looked at me and then back to the TV. He was scrolling through the new releases. I quickly looked at Millie who was already looking at me. She noticed it too. Finn was jealous. Of Wyatt.

“Okay, I think we should watch something funny and save the horror for when everyone else gets here tomorrow,” Gaten said, earning murmurs of agreement from everyone else.
“Yeah,” Finn muttered, “Y/N likes watching scary films with Wyatt anyway.”

I actually found it quite cute that Finn was jealous, but it was a little bit annoying. Caleb told Finn to put some comedy on. Room service soon arrived and Gaten went to get it. After a long day, we gratefully began eating. While it was nice to relax with everyone, I couldn’t stop thinking about Finn.

By three in the afternoon, everyone had arrived. Sophia was sharing with Millie and me, and I honestly couldn’t wait. Our gowns had also been sent up this morning and were currently in dress bags hanging in the closet. I wanted to put it on immediately but we had to have our hair and makeup done first.

Since they had to make us up properly for the Emmy’s, we had to have a very early dinner so they could get started. There were makeup and hair artists everywhere. Our hotel room was full. I was currently sat having my hair curled and braided. Events like these never failed to get my heart going. I was also thinking about my performance. My heart was in my mouth.

About two hours later, my hair and makeup were done and it was time to get in my dress. Finally. I was last to get into mine. Millie and Sophia were having last minute touchups done.

(Your dress)

I slipped into my little blue heels that matched my dress and smiled. Nothing made me happier than this dress. Sophia, Millie and I took a quick photo and uploaded them to our social media. Comments and likes started rolling in, including from Finn.

finnwolfhardofficial: Dashing, as always @yourusername

I tried not to scream as I pinned his comment and put your phone in my clutch bag. It was time to leave.
~
The red carpet was alive with the sounds of cheers, paparazzi and interviews. Me and the cast of IT were currently having pictures taken in front of the Emmy’s backdrop. I was in between Finn and Jeremy with my hand on my hip, smiling my red lipstick stained smile. Finn had noticed me, that was for sure. We also had pictures taken with the Stranger Things cast since Finn and I crossed over into both. I had a separate one taken with the girls as well as one with Jack, and another with Finn and Wyatt. 

Gaten and I were asked to get a quick shot with Ryan Gosling, you know, as you do. Millie and I also got photos with Jennifer Lawrence. It was completely mental.

“So,” An interviewer from Cosmo said to Jaeden and I, “You’ve been nominated for best horror movie of 2017 and best book to movie adaptation. As young actors just starting out, how does this make you feel?”
“Well,” I said, “It makes me feel proud. Not just of myself but of everyone who I’ve worked with over the past couple of years. Working on IT and Stranger Things has been such a privilege and if it wasn’t for the producers and directors, none of this would have been possible.”
Jaeden smiled. “Yeah, Y/N’s right. We don’t take these opportunities lightly, they mean a lot to all of us. It’s not just the filming and awards, it’s the friendships we’ve formed that will last forever.”
“Thank you, Y/N Y/L/N and Jaeden Lieberher. Good luck tonight, and keep shining like the stars you are.”

Since we were on the red carpet, we couldn’t have super long interviews, so we kept walking. I got given a sharpie and had to go along signing fan’s posters and taking selfies, which was one of the best parts. It was so strange being told how much someone loves me and my acting. One girl who had a photo from Stranger Things for me to sign said to me how much she loved my dress. I took a photo with her on my phone as well. I was doing the same as Gaten; taking pictures with my fans as well as them taking ones with me.

Before I knew what was happening, we were all being ushered inside for the awards ceremony. The IT cast and Stranger Things cast took up three whole rows since the producers and directors and production teams were there too. We were really close to the front.
~
It was time for my performance. I can’t explain how scared I actually was. As I stood up to head backstage, Finn squeezed my hand and smiled. I couldn’t smile back. I couldn’t do anything. Not only were hundreds of actors and actresses alike going to see me sing, I was on international television.

I was singing ‘Too Good at Goodbyes’ by Sam Smith. Gaten helped me prepare and choose my song. I went out onto the stage and looked out at the massive audience that was cheering for me. For me? It seemed too good to be true. The white lights were all on me, and the music began. 

You must think that I’m stupid
You must think that I’m a fool
You must think that I’m new to this
But I have seen this all before
I’m never gonna let you close to me
Even though you mean the most to me
‘Cause every time I open up, it hurts
So I’m never gonna get too close to you
Even when I mean the most to you
In case you go and leave me in the dirt
But every time you hurt me, the less that I cry
And every time you leave me, the quicker these tears dry
And every time you walk out, the less I love you
Baby, we don’t stand a chance, it’s sad but it’s true
I’m way too good at goodbyes

The applause when I finished was deafening. Everyone was on their feet screaming, cheering and clapping. I could see cameras flashing. My insides were more twisted than they were before I started. I couldn’t believe the reaction I was getting. And the people I was getting it from. I curtsied and walked off the stage smiling. The cheers didn’t stop until the host came back out onto the stage and started talking about my performance. I sat down and everyone hugged me and said well done. Finn grabbed my hand and didn’t let go.

I came out of their with two awards in my hands. IT got the award for best horror movie of 2017, and Stranger Things got the award for most gripping TV series of 2016 & 2017. I felt elated. After my performance, I had photos taken with so many people. Including Sam Smith who said that hearing me sing his song was magical. Finn still hadn’t let go of my hand.
~
Much to my disappointment, I had to take my dress off. All the mess was gone from the hotel room. We just had a couple of people with us to help us get out of our dresses. I put some pyjamas on and went out into the kitchen and living room. Sophia and Millie were talking about the night. I was just about to join the conversation when my phone buzzed.

Finn
Come to my hotel room. The others are across the hall and I want to talk to you.
You
Coming

I said goodbye to the girls who shared knowing looks. When I arrived at Finn’s room the door was already slightly open. I went inside and saw him standing on the balcony looking out over the big apple.

“Finn?”
He looked at me and smiled.
“You’re amazing, do you know that?”
“Woah. What?”
“When you were singing up there in that stunning dress, I couldn’t stop smiling. I still can’t. I guess tonight was the push I need to tell you that I’m fucking crazy about you, and I have been since we met. Every time I see you I fall for you a little bit more. As gooey as that sounds. And if you don’t-”

I kissed him and it felt like the stars were falling all around us. If they were, I wouldn’t have even noticed. I was too wrapped up in Finn Wolfhard.

@trash-baby-edge-lord You said anything with Finn, so here you go! Hope you like it.

tattoo artist!jeongguk

a/n: bc ive always thought jeongguk would make an excellent tattoo artist. (also i’ve remade and i’m reposting this on my new blog as the first addition!)

“____, please? I need you to hold my hand, I can’t do this without you,” your best friend pleaded, eyes wide and unblinking and you felt yourself wavering at his terror-filled gaze. You groaned internally as you stared him down, knowing that you would always give in to him.

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Let’s talk for a bit, because I’ve known about this for a while and I think now’s a good time to explain how I feel about using music not originally written for OC’s. This might be a lengthy read, because it’s personal. This vid was one of the first to use Tokyovania as Ink Sans’ theme.

I absolutely love when music can be associated with a character. I think it’s magical when a track makes you think of something you love or enjoy, and I love seeing messages or comments that I track I wrote would fit someone’s OC, because it feels special. Originally, this video was meant to be a tribute, with my track as the proposed theme, and I didn’t worry about it. After all, I didn’t write Tokyovania for Ink Sans, I wrote it for personal reasons, and I was sure most would understand that.

After a few months, it started to catch on for some reason that this indeed was written for him. A few other tribute vids were posted, and my name was nowhere to been seen as the artist of the track. On some videos, the name was also changed to Inklovania. The “Tokyo” was just erased, on a song containing the melody of “Tokyo Teddy Bear”, an incredibly special track I adored in 2014-2015. 

Back then I was in high school. It was me against the world, and I had two friends. Things became rough around September in 2015, and I’ll keep the events hidden because they’re not something I need a reminder of. By December I was alone, and I had nowhere to turn but to music. I walled myself off and focused on composing, and being quietly alone all the time eventually led to the idea of Undertronic.

It was around this time that I decided to compose a remix of Tokyo Teddy Bear, as it’s a song I associate with wishing I could be anywhere else when things aren’t great. Seeing as I was also remixing Undertale at the time, I thought I’d combine it with another track, as a particular character was also in the same situation as I was, in terms of emotion.

In short, it was a special little remix to me and it would stay that way until Ink Sans became involved. Like I mentioned, I love when others use my music for OC’s, but I started to realize there was something wrong when I was accused of stealing this theme from Ink Sans, that it solely belonged to him, that I didn’t write it and I was a terrible person.

And the list goes on and was almost constant. To many, I’ve been disregarded as the artist of the track because “It doesn’t matter who wrote it,” and nothing hurts more to a musical artist than having a personal song be taken, even accidentally, from you and it suddenly becomes something else. The meaning behind the song no longer matters, and no matter what I do, this song will always be known as his theme. 

It feels like a inconceivable back-stab knowing that literally millions believe this is his theme. I don’t even want to know how many would believe I stole the track from an OC, as if an actual artist doesn’t exist and the track magically created itself. Months went by, then a year went by, and I was very bitter about this track and the accusations I kept receiving. Finally I decided to write a response, and this response was “Tokyovania Control.”

I wrote in the description that I didn’t like the old Tokyovania. This is only partially true. I loved it for what it represented to me, I hated it for how I was being treated because of it.

If you may have noticed, I included new lyrics for Tokyovania Control. It was a slightly hidden, but direct message to how I felt, and it started at 0:53. Breakdown of the meaning is in the brackets.

How’d I get this feeling?  [How’d it come to this?]
I am running from this beauty,  [I am running from Tokyovania.]
Misunderstood or  [It’s been misunderstood what the track is about.]
Whom it’s made for?  [Who was the track made for? Even I’m not sure now.]
There’s no purpose,  [The song has lost its original meaning.]
Words are worthless.  [Explaining/arguing won’t do anything.]
Well, it’s still charming.  [I still adore the track though. It was special to me.]
I’d say “Sorry.”  [Sorry, it was my mistake to let harsh words harm me.]
“My mistake to let it harm me.”
“Pardon my writing.”  [Pardon my music, I’m sorry I got in your way, I should be thankful that this track is loved right? Indeed I am selfish for believing my name should be next to Tokyovania.]
Though it hurts, it still sounds special taken from me,
“Heh, oh well.”  [Though it hurts, Tokyovania still sounds special taken from me. There’s nothing I can do now, so oh well.]

It was hidden well, and I didn’t expect anyone to catch on. And I was right, no one figured out why these lyrics were added or what they meant.

So no, I still don’t mind when a track I write is used for an OC’s theme. I only mind when I become non-existent as the producer, because “Who cares who wrote it, just enjoy the music.” I also mind when I am repeatedly told my work doesn’t belong to me, and I’m a horrible person for stealing a theme that belongs to an OC.

It’s one of the reasons I tend to include signature melodies in my music now. I don’t want to be forgotten or disassociated with my work. I don’t want to be told I don’t deserve to be the artist. Is it annoying? To some it is, but it’s a hell of a lot better than going through another Tokyovania situation. Having a track recognized by millions as an OC’s theme scares me much more than having someone simply steal the track, and nothing is worse to a musician than being repeatedly told my work doesn’t belong to me anymore, it belongs to an OC, and I’m scum for thinking otherwise.

I suppose what I’m trying to say, is be careful when you decide to pick songs to represent OC’s or AU’s. You may think no harm will be done, but it’s impossible to tell if something will take off. I don’t think this has ever been discussed before. I haven’t seen any musicians write about this, or share their thoughts. But I am friends with many of the Undertale remixers, and it’s sad to see that this has also been happening to one of my best friends Kamex with his “Your Best Friend” remix:

His music is gorgeous. He’s so kind & doesn’t deserve to be treated this way. If the remix is titled “Undertale Remix”, that does not mean it is an AU Remix. It is a remix for Undertale. But because this theme was used in an AU theme compilation video, the track apparently belongs to Underfresh. Again, no artist apparently exists and track magically created itself. Even worse, he feels he needs to prove it, so far as to say he has the project files if he needs to show it. To some, he’s not even respected as the producer. If you understand how I feel with Tokyovania, you can imagine how he feels as well.

Even Inktale’s creator recognizes Tokyovania as a theme for Ink, though it’s probably accidental.

Which makes me feel even more guilty, because I hate bringing people down. And knowing this wasn’t written for the AU will probably be a disappointing let-down.

So that’s about it, I thought I might as well share my thoughts, now that it’s almost been a year since this has been going on.

On another note, I’ve been working on something for Dusttale and Outertale. The Dusttale track will probably be the next vid, I dunno.

[Edit: I took a look to see if there were any comments marked as held for review, and the first one I find is-]

[The word choice gets more colorful in there.]

The Body Through Time

Author: @eradikeats-writes as part of Bangtan University - a series of ongoing one shots with @kpopfanfictrash

Creative Content Contributors: @daegusoftboys (providing us with exquisite moodboards)

Pairing: Namjoon x Reader (oc; female)

Summary: When you’re offered a job as the graduate assistant for the Art History department at Bangtan University, it is a requirement for the department to sign their approval on the paperwork. You have one signature left and, unfortunately, he doesn’t want to see you. At all. 

Rating: NC-17

Warning: explicit sex; explicit language; angst

Word Count: 10,947 (end me)

Two hours. That’s how long you’ve been standing outside the building, staring at the glass doors as your warped reflection slides in and out of view.

Two hours spent in the warm sunshine, a slight sunburn starting to form on the tip of your nose.

Two hours reminding yourself that this is for your career. Reminding yourself that this choice is not about him, it was never about him. That even if he didn’t work here, you’d still pick this university because it’s the best and it’s the only place your career will thrive.

Two hours telling yourself you’re strong enough to see his face. That one look at his full lips and warm eyes won’t send your knees to the floor, collapsing beneath the weight of your desire, not like it used to.

Not anymore.

Keep reading

if by chance

soulmate au | college au

↝ pairing: mark tuan | reader

↝ genre: fluff + soft angst 

↝ word count: 8.825

author’s note: uh, so it turns out i’m a sucker for soulmate aus. thanks anon for requesting! hope this is as fluffy as you wanted!!


Keep reading

FIC REC’S OF 2017 part 9 ( november)

We’re starting to get to the Christmas/Holiday season and I, for one, am sooo excited! I wanted to write “I loved this” at the end of each of these fics, so I’m just going to say it here now. I loved all of these. :D Happy reading!

You Love Me, If You Love Me Don’t Let Go by @shadowofyoursong / ao3 (98k) CHAPTERED 

His name is up there. He’s the only Harry in this group. His eyes land on Louis, who swallows thickly. He gives Harry a small smile, brows raised a little. Harry is not dancing a solo. He’s dancing with the boy, who he never remembers. How the hell can he ever get anyone’s attention, when he doesn’t have any connection with this guy.

Or the one where Harry and Louis are students at The Juilliard School of Performing Arts and are dancing in the same group. Harry never notices Louis, the boy who is a year younger than him, mostly sticks to himself and practices hard (or that’s what Harry thinks). Louis on the other hand always sees the confident and focused Harry. Now they’re paired for a duo performance and they have to make it work, even though Louis’ eyes are towards London and Harry’s are towards a career after graduation, which he thinks he can only get with a solo performance. DANCER AU, HATE TO LOVE

(Take Me Home) Country Roads by @a-writerwrites / ao3 (86k) CHAPTERED

“Sir, I can help you. Just let me — “ He tried moving closer but the eldest child blocked his way. He backed off, putting his hands out in a passive gesture. “I’m a physician. I can help,” he tried again.

The man shook his head vehemently, passing the cup back to his grandchild. “Tol’ ya. Don’t need ya.” All of the fire had gone out of his voice, leaving behind a frail, sick old man with barely any breath to talk.

“I have medicines…I could make you comfortable…” Louis’ voice was still small, but pleading.

“Mountain Mama cares for wha’s ailin’ me. Don’t need no fancy city doctors.”

Louis blinked at the man, still shaking from the coughing spell. Mountain — well, fuck. That backwoods, uneducated scam artist…

“Of course he is,” Louis said curtly.

OR a Northern Exposure AU featuring Louis as the big city doctor, Harry as a natural healer, Niall as a secretive barkeep, Liam and Zayn head over heels for each other but they don’t know it and a lot of hurt, comfort and moonshine in between. HATE TO LOVE

You Might Want To Marry My Husband by @all-these-larrythings / ao3 (25k) CHAPTERED

When Harry’s husband dies, he asks one thing of him; to find love and happiness again without him. It’s a request that Harry is happy to disregard, until he meets the one person who is impossible to ignore. MOVING ON

It’ll Be by @styleandsin / ao3 (13k) ONE SHOT

Louis has always wanted children and he decides he’s done waiting for love to come first. However, after adopting a baby girl just days after she’s born, he quickly realizes how hard parenting is. Louis hires Harry to be his Nanny, and it all works out great. Until Louis falls in love with him. KID FIC

Oops, Baby, I Love You ( In That Order) by @suddenclarityharry / ao3 (25k) ONE SHOT 

Later that night, when he’s lying in bed thinking of all the things he’s longed for in his life, he can’t stop hearing Fizzy’s words in his head.

Who says you have to get married?

It’s true, Louis wants to get married one day, to have a spouse to encourage his crazy promotional ideas for his book shop, to have someone to cuddle into at night, someone who will love him even on his moody days. But she’s absolutely right, isn’t she? Who says he has to have that before he can have a baby?

When he finally falls asleep, he sleeps restfully, having made a very important decision about his future.

Husband or no, Louis Tomlinson is going to have a baby.

OR The minute Louis Tomlinson decides he don’t need no man to start a family, Harry Styles literally falls into his arms. MPREG

Couldn’t See Past Me, Till I Saw Your Face by @lululawrence / ao3 (12k) ONE SHOT 

“Look at us, living the dream,” Louis said softly. “But Harry, I don’t know if I’m going to be able to finish my last semester with the baby. I don’t know how far along I am or anything. And what about my internship and all of that?”

Harry shook his head emphatically and pulled back once more from Louis, this time placing his large, strong hands on Louis’ shoulders and squeezing them tight.

“We’ll make this work, Louis. I’ll help take care of you and your little one and I know you’ll help me make it through whatever happens with this. We’re always there for each other, right? Just like we promised when we were in middle school.”

Louis laughed a bit and smiled through his tears that finally seem to have left. Again. Hopefully they stayed away a little longer this time.

“We’ll figure it out, yeah?” Harry asked again.

“Yeah. We always do.”

Or the one where Harry and Louis have been best friends since they could remember and their friendship has withstood it all…but an unexpected pregnancy might change everything. MPREG

Home For Christmas by @haloeverlasting / ao3 (22k) ONE SHOT 

The Shameless Hallmark Movie AU you probably didn’t ask for.

Or, the one where Harry didn’t think he wanted a family, but with a little Christmas magic (and maybe one Louis Tomlinson) he realizes that he is very, very wrong. CHRISTMAS, KID FIC

Waiting For Wonderful by @becomeawendybird / ao3 (13k) ONE SHOT

The university class where he met Louis was the beginning of the end for Harry. It took all of an hour for him to figure out that he was in love with Louis, and there was no way around it. It was a part of his DNA; he was tall, he had green eyes, and he was in love with Louis Tomlinson. Louis was his soulmate, and they were going to be together. Eventually.

Harry is willing to wait as long as he needs to for his best friend to realise that they’re supposed to be together, but it kills him to watch Louis struggle in his relationship with Mackenzie. All Harry wants to do is be supportive, and sometimes that’s all it takes. BEST FRIENDS TO LOVERS

We’ll Rise Up by @suddenclarityharry / ao3 (18k) ONE SHOT

“So,” Liam begins with a smile, “you were the associate pastor at your last church?”

“Yes,” Louis can already feel himself scrunching down in his seat, shrinking against even the reminder of the church he was forced from.

“Was that a good experience for you?” Liam steeples his hands in front of him as he leans his elbows on the desk in interest.

“It was for a while but, to be honest, things ended rather badly,” Louis leans forward too, he needs to get this out and he wants to tell Liam everything, have everything on the table.

Leaning forward even more, Liam seems to be looking for the same thing, “What happened?”

Louis can feel the trembles in his hands again, so he sits on them, biting his lip before admitting, “They found out I’m gay.”

In the hallway, there’s a terribly loud thump and then a grunt of pain and Louis twists around to see Harry, sprawled out on the ground just outside the doorway.

Or Louis is a Pastor with no church and a heart filled with uncertainty. Pastor Payne is more than willing to give Louis a new place to work, but it’s Music Director Harry that helps him rebuild his faith. RELIGIOUS

(We Will Be) As If Chosen by @alivingfire / ao3 (35k) ONE SHOT

There’s not a royal in the world who doesn’t carry some sort of secret, and Prince Louis has more than his fair share. To protect himself and his family, Louis withdrew from the public eye and tried to live a quiet life, biding his time until his sister Lottie could take the throne in his stead. Unfortunately for him, the national media and the worst person Louis has ever met team up to bring him kicking and screaming back into the spotlight.

Under the watchful eyes of millions, Louis has to figure out how to keep his carefully constructed house of cards from falling, and the first step to accomplishing that is to keep from falling in love with the irritatingly charming Prince Harry, who just won’t stop showing up and trying to whisk Louis out of the constraints of his boring life.

Or: the course of true love never did run smooth, because sometimes people are stubborn and sometimes people are scared and sometimes, just sometimes, love can cause just as many problems as it solves. MODERN ROYALTY, HATE TO LOVE

73 Questions by @literlarryreal / ao3 (6k) ONE SHOT

Louis is more nervous than usual about filming the upcoming episode of Vogue’s 73 questions. Musician and soon to be actor Harry Styles may have something to do with that. BANTER

D23 EXPO DAY 2 -  UPCOMING DISNEY, MARVEL, & LUCASFILM MOVIES

A WRINKLE IN TIME

A WRINKLE IN TIME stars Oprah Winfrey, Reese Witherspoon, Chris Pine, Mindy Kaling, & Zach Galifianakis, and it’s directed by Ava Duvernay!
The movie is based on a book about a girl who travels though time & space to save her father, a gifted scientist who is held prisoner on another planet!
The film hits theatres March 2018✨

THE NUTCRACKER & THE FOUR REALMS

Disney has announced details about an upcoming, newly announced film, THE NUTCRACKER & THE FOUR REALMS!✨ All we know about the plot is that it will be a dark twist on the classic tale of the Nutcracker and that there will be four “realms,” including the Land of the Flowers and the Land of the Snowflakes.🌸❄️ Keira Knightly will play the Sugar Plum Fairy, Helen Mirren will play Mother Ginger, Morgan Freeman will play Drosselmeyer, and ballerina Misty Copeland will also star in the movie. The audience at the panel got to see a teaser trailer for movie, which apparently has great visuals including scenery and costumes. It is scheduled for release November 2, 2018.✨

DUMBO

Production has already started on Disney’s live-action Dumbo!🐘🎪
The film is being directed by Tim Burton, and stars Colin Farrell, Danny DeVito, Michael Keaton, & Eva Green!🐘
The story follows Holt Farrier (Colin Farrell), a former circus star and war veteran, who has been enlisted by circus owner Max Medici (Danny DeVito) to care for a newborn elephant with oversized ears. The baby elephant’s ears are a laughingstock and embarrassment to the already struggling circus. That is, until Holt’s children discover that Dumbo can fly! Aerial artist Colette Marchant (Eva Green) and entrepreneur V.A. Vandevere (Michael Keaton) then swoop in to make Dumbo, the flying elephant, a star.🐘🎪
Dumbo will be brought to life through CGI and a team of award winning filmmakers are currently working on the movie!🎪
Dumbo hits theaters March 29, 2019!🐘🎪

ALADDIN CASTING

Disney has just announced the cast for the live-action Aladdin movie!
Mena Massoud will be playing Aladdin
Naomi Scott will be playing Jasmine
WILL SMITH WILL BE THE GENIE!
There’s no release date but it’s most likely to be released in 2020.

Originally posted by animated-disney-gifs

MARY POPPINS RETURNS

The audience at D23 were shown an exclusive clip from Mary Poppins Returns, the sequel to the 1964 classic musical!☔️
The story follows Michael (Ben Whishaw) & Jane Banks (Emily Mortimer) who are now grown up, and Michael is living with his three children and their housekeeper, Ellen (Julie Walters) on Cherry Tree Lane. After Michael suffers a personal loss, the enigmatic nanny Mary Poppins (Emily Blunt) re-enters the lives of the Banks family, and long with the optimistic street lamplighter, Jack (Lin Manuel Miranda), uses her unique magical skills to help the family rediscover the joy and wonder missing in their lives. Mary Poppins also introduces the children to a new assortment of colorful and whimsical characters, including her eccentric cousin, Topsy (Streep). And, as mentioned before, Dick Van Dyke will play a role in the film as Mr. Dawes Jr., the chairman of Fidelity Fiduciary Bank, which is now run by William Weatherall Wilkins (Colin Firth).☔️
All we know of the scene showed at the panel was that it involved Dick Van Dyke dancing on a table! We didn’t get that scene but at least we got this beautiful video poster starring Emily as Mary!☔️
Mary Poppins Returns hits theatres Christmas 2018.☔️

“I think as a kid, I found that a magical mysterious person whisking into their lives and making everything right again was really comforting as a child … so I always found the film incredibly magical and wanted to be the Banks children! I need to pay homage to what Julie did but carve our space for myself. No one is going to out julie julie andrews. we were very loyal to the books.” - Emily Blunt

THE LION KING (LIVE ACTION)

Hugh Jackman is going to voice Scar in Disney’s upcoming live action adaptation of The Lion King! He will join an all star cast that includes:

  • Simba voiced by Donald Glover
  • Mufasa voiced by James Earl Jones
  • Zazu voiced by John Oliver
  • Timon voiced by Billy Eichner
  • Pumbaa voiced by Seth Rogen

The audience at D23’s live action presentation got to see the Circle of Life sequence from Disney’s upcoming live action version of The Lion King!
Apparently it was shot-for-shot as you see in the animated movie, Baby Simba was adorable, and it doesn’t look like CGI! Everyone who saw the scene keeps on raving about how beautiful it was and I can’t wait for the movie!
The live action version of Lion King will hit theaters July 2019!

Originally posted by disneylandwheredreamscometrue

STAR WARS VIII: THE LAST JEDI: BEHIND THE SCENES FOOTAGE 

Click here for an analysis of the footage!

AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR

Footage from Avengers: Infinity War was shown to the audience at D23!
Most of the stars of the movie showed up on stage: Robert Downey Jr., Josh Brolin, Tom Holland, Benedict Cumberbatch, Chadwick Boseman, Chris Hemsworth, Mark Ruffalo, Paul Bettany, Elizabeth Olsen, Pom Klementieff, Karen Gillan, Dave Bautista, Don Cheadle, Sebastian Stan, & Anthony Mackie.
Infinity War is the movie that all the previous Marvel movies have been leading up to; in it, we see the Avengers & the Guardians of the Galaxy team up to fight the super villain Thanos.
The trailer shown at D23 was very spoilery, & I won’t be discussing it here because I don’t want to spoil it on myself, but apparently the footage was so good that the entire audience gave a standing ovation!
Avengers: Infinity War opens May 4, 2018.💥

Originally posted by thebestofsuperheroes

ALL UPCOMING DISNEY MOVIES (2017-2019 ONLY)

2017

  • November 8: Thor Ragnarok
  • November 22: Coco
  • December 16: Star Wars IX: The Last Jedi

2018

  • February 16: Black Panther
  • March 9: A Wrinkle in Time
  • May 4, 2018: Avengers Infinity War
  • May 25: Han Solo
  • June 15: Incredibles 2
  • July 6: Antman & the Wasp
  • November 21: Wreck It Ralph 2
  • November 2: The Nutcracker & the Four Realms
  • December 25: Mary Poppins Returns

2019

  • March 8: Captain Marvel
  • March 29: Dumbo
  • April: Untitled DisneyToon movie
  • TBA: Avengers 4
  • June 21: Toy Story 4
  • July: The Lion King
  • November: Frozen 2
  • TBA: Mulan
  • December: Star Wars IX
Past Lives

Originally posted by pleasegiveusreyloinepisodeviii

Request: @waiefu : “ok so reader is going to college away from home and they need a room mate so theyre looking at possible people they see kylo but misread as kylie reader sees they have a lot in common and assuming its a girl picks them anyway they show up at the dorm and see a dude”

Summary: Soulmate AU: Kylo Ren, being the man that he is, loses a lot of things in his life. One of those things being his only shot at ever having love. As centuries pass however, in another galaxy on a planet known as Earth, an unexpected turn of events brings him another possible chance. Though he never could have predicted it would have come around in the way it does.

A/N: Ok so I combined a request with an AU I had brewing in my mind for a long time (even before I started this blog hah), and hopefully you all enjoy it! And in case anyone was wondering, yes “Past Lives” by Borns is the song rec for this cause well, ya know. Feedback is welcome, and of course all credit for the triplet AU goes to @crylorenlo

Warnings: Language


Laying motionless in the snow, with flakes daintily dropping onto his pale flesh, Kylo stared up at the night sky. Blood matted his raven locks and smeared across his full lips, starkly contrasting his appearance. His body was spent, his mind reeling as the world around him seemed to fall into an unnatural silence. No matter how much his ears strained, there was nothing to be heard, nothing to be seen.

Left to his thoughts alone, Kylo slowly felt them consume him. Though there was nothing to be heard physically, Kylo’s psyche seemed to take on its own consuming presence, forcing him to acknowledge it.

So, this is what you received.

Kylo sighed faintly, the breath feeling heavy in his lungs.

A slow, painful and a depressingly lonely demise. Was it worth it?

Despite his inability to move or react, his eyes began to pool with tears. It was your voice. A voice that had disappeared into the furthest corner of his mind for years. Years he had lost to his poor decisions, including the one of the last night he ever laid eyes on you. 

Was taking the countless lives worth it? Destroying what the force created…was it worth it?

His eyes winced shut as his soiled body began to tremble. Slowly the tears started to slip down his cheeks, accompanying the flakes of snow.

“I’m sorry.”

He practically whispered, sounding much like a passing breeze. Lip quivering he choked out the words as he spoke again with his broken tone.

“I’m sorry…I-…it wasn’t worth it.”

His trembling grew fiercer as his body grew even weaker, seeming to ignore the creeping frigid temperature.

“I’m sorry…so sorry.”

Aside from his dying whimpers, the atmosphere was eeriely silent. As if he had suddenly gone deaf to the world around him, there was nothing. You weren’t there, his family was long gone and there was not a soul he had to lean on. In his demise, he met his fate. To be entirely alone in the end, no one to have beside him aside from the snowy terrain beneath him. Slowly as his body grew weaker, almost incapable of continuing to sob the way he had been, he felt his eyelids grow heavy. Drooping lower and lower over his blood shot, glimmering eyes, the world around him slowly started to fade.


Centuries later in a far away galaxy…

Staring at the screen before him, Kylo looked over the Craigslist ad he was about to post, assuring everything was correct. Typos would not be accepted and he had to assure not a single detail was missing. Though anyone else would have thought he was doing it as a service to his soon to be roommate, he truly was doing it for himself, unwilling to live with certain types of individuals. He knew what personalities melded well with his, and he would do everything to assure he got just that.

Narrowing his eyes to the screen he read over the bullet points he had written once again. Walking up behind him, Ben appeared. Rolling his eyes Ben shook his head faintly as he watched Kylo hunched over the computer desk.

“Why are you so dramatic?”

“Why are you so obnoxious?”

Keep reading

Insecurities (Christian Yu AMBW Smut)

YOU GUYS SHE FINALLY GAVE IN- LIKE ITS SUCH A REVELATION and I just needed to get this out here for her ass. @silhouetted-beauty here you go. 

I can’t believe this. I knew it, I knew it all along.

You walked through the club looking around as you headed towards the exit. Your hips twisting with each step, your hands crossed over your chest and balled up from how angry you were. You were a scowling beauty tonight. You had on a skirt set, black long sleeve crop top shirt that was off the shoulders. A black skirt that was long on your right side, but on the left side it was cut into a slit that reached up to your left thigh where it had two lines and were tied together revealing your smooth milky chocolate skin. Your makeup was done lightly, red lipstick on your plump lips and your hair was in its natural state curls tumbling down your shoulders and framing your face. You had on no bra nor panties, another surprise you wanted to give your man for all his hard work, the outfit had fitted tightly on your body so much so that even if you were to get hard your nipples would be showing through the shirt. But it seems as he danced with the girl on the club floor he had other plans.

You were dating Christian Yu, and despite what everyone else though dating him was not easy. In fact, in your eyes it was harder than most jobs because he was a video director meaning he had to film a lot of things and though it was great, what wasn’t great was the females that came on to him. You had always fought him, not wanting to date him because you knew what would happen if you said yes. You were scared to get attached to someone, especially someone famous because a sense of responsibility and assurance came with that. You were a jealous lover, and a bit possessive but it wasn’t no worse than any average person. However, after spending some time with him you couldn’t help but fall for him. He was charming, sweet, loving, he made you feel like a woman. You were head over heels for everything he did and maybe his dog Lori had contributed to the feelings that you had for him.

While you were both loving each other, things were going great for the first few months. Sure, every couple had their problems but you two were a different case. You worked for stores managing them and helping count items for stoking purposes. You had a few coworkers that liked to flirt with you and yeah sure the moment Christian saw it he was more than livid, dragging you away.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?!” Christian asked the male who had his arm around your waist keeping your feet from touching the floor as he caught you.

“She was about to fall so I was going to catch her.” The male said shrugging his shoulders trying to play it off.

“So, she almost fell because you knocked the ladder over. Don’t touch her man. You can’t just hold her like that because she isn’t yours. She’s mine.” And like that Christian was taking you out of the male’s arms as he carried your protesting body towards the storage room to fuck you to the point that everyone else heard who you belonged to.

The thought alone rushed through your mind and made your lips twitch, you wanted to smile you did. You wanted to laugh and be happy but that little miss Savannah had to fuck it up for the both of you.

“Christian I don’t like her.” You mumbled at the set of the video. Christian had been laughing in the direction of the female that was mixed with both Korean and white. She was cute sure, long brown hair and little freckles on her face. She had green eyes and though she had some work done she was curvy. Here she stood, laughing and joking with everyone she could get her hands on even trying to flirt with DPR Live and you knew if your friend had saw her man in such a position she would’ve been livid.

“Why don’t you like her baby?” Christian asked softly finally turning his attention to you, his dark brown eyes looked down at you with love but at the moment, you couldn’t even feel it because your unsettled feeling overtook you more than his looks.

“I just.. Don’t trust her Christian.” You didn’t know how to explain it, maybe it was a woman intuition but the way she threw her hair back over her shoulder, the way she bit her lip and made eyes at Christian. Artist or not you knew she was trying to push up on him, and he was too busy running around your ass to notice but you did. You saw it all.

“Are you jealous?” Christian teased and you rolled your eyes trying to walk off. Christian moved to grip at your waist howling with laughter as he pulled you closer to his body wrapping his arms around your waist from behind. “Come on baby it’s a joke. I don’t want her okay? I want you. I mean she said she just wanted to work with me because she was a fan and inspired by my music videos.” He shrugged swaying with you from side to side as you frowned and crossed your arms over your chest feeling so small in his arms because you were shorter than him by a few inches.

“But still Christian, look at her and how she is acting around all of you.” You whined softly trying to not complain but you couldn’t help it.

“Y/n.” Christian called out your name as he shook his head sighing. “I love you okay?” He asked cupping your chin making you look up at him into his eyes. “I love you okay? Nobody but you, I want you in my world and I want you to be by my side always. Besides you work with a few people that always seem to try to touch you or be close to you while you’re working and I trust you to only focus on me, right?” He asked and when you didn’t say anything he frowned. “Right?” He asked you again leaning down to start pressing his lips against yours in multiple kisses causing your lips to curl into a smile.

“Right Christian.”

“Okay then, so trust me and we will be fine okay? She isn’t you, just a talented artist that could help my career.” He reminded you nuzzling your nose before he tilted his head. “You know though, if you did ever let me use your pretty voice I wouldn’t need any other person outside of the Dream Perfect Regime to work with. So, think about it.” He let your chin go to grab your hand instead as both of you walked towards the rest of the crew and Savannah. During the whole segment of them talking, you watched her. She didn’t say too much but the look on her face when she saw him was pure love, and when she saw you? Pure disgust and you knew you had been right about your feelings all along, but you weren’t going down without a fight and she was mistaking if she thought you were.

You shook your head once again, angry tears starting to brim your eyes as your body started to shake with each step you took. The club was packed with people who wanted to see Savannah’s new music and her video. It was a lot of important people here who could help her career and you weren’t one to knock down someone’s success you were all for it, but when she came for your man and tried to take everything you fought so hard to have, that’s when the problem became personal. Your head spun lightly from your anger mixing with the few drinks you had, and the music now seemed to drown out in the background as your heart pounding with the beat that was vibrating under your feet. Blue led rave lights shot through the dark space, the lights were dim and you could barely see where you were going. The night had started off great, Christian couldn’t even keep his hands off you as you got yourself ready. You had planned a lot for him and you once you got back home, but as soon as you walked through the club she was jumping on Christian calling his name.

“CHRISTIAN! I’m so fucking glad you came.. It means so. So much to me.” She said it in a sultry tone trying to mask it with a look of innocence.

“Me and my boyfriend wouldn’t miss it for the world.” You informed her as she finally stepped away from the hug she had given the male as she damn near jumped on him.

“Oh, Y/n you’re here.” She said as she gave you one look before she went back to Christian starting to talk.

The thought alone was enough to finally break you, tears streaming down your face from anger and hatred. You felt you had been cheated on, or at least it was coming. She had drug your man from you to dance with him. She pushed against him, swaying her hips and dropping it to the floor while Christian just seemed to stand there at first mesmerized by her before he started to dance back against her. It was embarrassing, what were you here for? You didn’t even want to come! But because she told Christian to bring you and he seemed to listen to her every command you had come for her. And she got what she wanted, to make you look like a fucking fool in front of everyone here. You reached a hand up to dab against your face not wanting to mess up your makeup. You were getting closer to the door and you felt a hand grab on your wrist. You didn’t even need to look at him to know that it was Christian’s larger hand holding onto your wrist as he drug you through the crowd to a room.

“Let me go! Let me go you fucking jerk!” You shouted at him over the blare of the music wanting him to give up. Christian just sighed as he led you to one of the VIP rooms that had a view of the club below. The walk up the stairs made your feet hurt, the black pumps made your feet look sexy but walking in them only did you justice when you went so far. Christian shut the door behind you both, locking it before he went to the window to look out at the club below.

“What is wrong with you?” He asked you as he hunched over the window. He looked out a minute waiting for you to answer him but once you didn’t he turned around to look you in your face. He was a fucking masterpiece. Black suit and dress shirt with a black tie. He had his hair curly and free falling over his face. His pierced nose and strong facial features, diamond earrings in his ears. He watched you with dark eyes and you could see that his teeth were clenched.

“What is wrong with you? Dancing with her like that! Why are you even here?” You asked him shouting at him as you stood your ground.

“What the fuck are you talking about?!” Christian shouted back at you losing his cool that quickly.

“How dare you Christian! I saw you! I SAW YOU!” You screamed at him as you took a step closer to him.

“I didn’t do anything wrong! You are seriously over reacting y/n!” Christian tried to reason with you but he didn’t know what he did wrong. One minute he was on the floor dancing with a girl that he didn’t even feel but for her publicity and the sake of his image he stayed close to her and in a few seconds, he is getting a tap on his shoulder from one of your friends telling him that you’re walking out of the club. “Please tell me what the fuck I did wrong. I deserve to know that much.” Christian said calmly taking a step closer to you.

“I told you I didn’t trust her! I told you she was bad news and you didn’t listen. I never thought it would be because you actually liked her or wanted to be with her. Like what if I went and danced with a man the way you danced with her? What if I would’ve flirted with someone the way you teased and joked with her? What if I would’ve let someone be all against my ass like you let her do to your dick? You’re supposed to be mine and you got me out here thinking that I’m so special but it’s her on you!” You could feel the tears sliding down your face from how hurt and angry you were. It was the way you looked that caused Christian to snap and charge towards you.

“How could you say that to me! I told you that I didn’t want her! That you were overreacting! The fact that you even think I’m that kind of guy blows me! I don’t bring anyone around Lori unless they mean something to me. Look at all these people here! These important people at that, If I wanted to cheat do you honestly think I would’ve brought you here? Do you think we would have let your friend come when she could’ve let shit get back to you? I told you nothing was happening because I didn’t want her!”

“I saw how you watched her dance Christian! You were giving her the eyes!”
“I was trying to see what she was doing! And what I would do! She dropped it down on me and I was shocked as hell that she did it in front of you! I’m tipsy so are you and I knew I had to play my cards right for the both of our sakes. But if I had just left her there by herself then she would’ve looked like an idiot.” Christian sighed softly raking his hands through his hair seeing the hurt on your face. “Look, I know it’s not what you want to hear. And I know that I hurt you by protecting her but I don’t want her y/n. I want you. I’ve told you that over and over again. You’re the only one I see. When I do anything, or go anywhere. You’re everywhere. I do not care about Savannah. I shouldn’t have protected her and it was my fault for not thinking. But, I love you y/n. I only want you. Why can’t you trust me and see that? You think that I like when you go to work knowing that any guy can touch you like that or try to be with you? You’re my heart. And I don’t want to be without you. And no girl can change that.” Christian reached out for you as he pressed you back against the wall. You stumbled lightly but let him guide your body backwards. “You are overreacting. I love you. I love you so fucking much. I love you.” He kept repeating as he kissed your lips sweetly.

You were unsure at first, not knowing if you wanted to believe him or not, but after receiving more than five kisses you started to kiss him back, his warm hands placing on your hips as your arms moved to wrap around his neck.

“Regardless, I know that the reason you had those ideas was because of something I did. I should have worked harder to know that you were happy and you felt safe and secure. It won’t happen again okay?” He asked softly as he started to kiss you again. You could feel your heart skipping a beat and beating faster as you kissed him back. Your head tilted to the side. Letting him kiss you more as he pushed you against the wall harder, his lips molding against yours as he held your body close to his, the world around you seemed to fade away as your body burned with the kiss. He flicked his tongue across your bottom lip and you opened your mouth to let his tongue in letting him explore your mouth. His tongue flicked across yours and over the insides of your cheeks. He tasted your wet cavern, the kiss turning into a French kiss as his hands slid up your body to grip at your braless chest. You whimpered slightly against his lips feeling your breast hardened as you arched your back off the wall to feel more of his touch. He groaned liking how you were reacting to him, pressing his hips against your side, you could feel a little poke of his growing bulge. Your hands moved to grip at his jacket suit and he got the hint letting you push the material over his shoulders and onto the floor. He was trying to slide his tongue down your throat as his hand moved towards your slit to open the skirt, his hand moving to rub against your pussy, you mewled into the kiss as his finger skimmed your wet heat. He broke the kiss to lean down and kiss against your jaw slowly. He kissed towards your ear, his middle finger rubbing against your clit as he chuckled lightly against your ear.

“You’re so fucking wet. Is this why you didn’t wear any panties?” He teased.

“Shut up.” You groaned but the thought alone made your pussy become wetter.

“You don’t tell daddy to shut up.” He licked the shell of your ear, letting his fingers spread your lips as his middle finger continued to rub at your pussy. Your hips bucked against his hand, your lips meeting each other’s once again as he let his fingers play with your clit. You could feel the juices drip down your thighs, your legs were trembling as you felt yourself become closer. He broke the kiss to get on his knees, letting one of your legs go over his shoulder he pressed his lips against your pussy.

“Christian-what if they come look for us?” You asked softly as a sharp breath left your lip from him dragging his tongue up your slit humming.

“Well, let them come and search for us, they won’t find us until I make you cum.” Christian breathed hotly against your core before his tongue coming to swipe against your clit. He flicked his tongue up and down against your dampened pussy but because he was too impatient he was quick to shove his tongue inside of you gripping at your hips to pull you towards his face. He started to eat you out, thrusting his tongue in and out of your pussy letting it drip onto his chin as he ate you out. Letting his tongue swirl around in your inside, he curved the pink muscle inside of you finding your spot immediately fucking against it. Your hips jerked lightly, hands moving to tangle into his hair as you rolled your head back. Your fears were still there, insecurities rising but, he was here eating you out, his face buried into your pussy and his mind on you not her. You knew deep inside that he was right, you needed to trust him more and it was something you would have to work on in the future if you wanted to keep him. You were enjoying his tongue too much, fucking his face with your hips and calling out his name, pushing his hair back from his forehead so that you could see him more, you groaned as your lower stomach started to tighten up signaling your release was close.

Christian pulled back to lick his lips, wiping his face clean he kissed up towards your hips before he gripped at the end of the crop top shirt to push it over your breast, he leaned down to cup your nipples, swiping his tongue against your already hardened puckered buds, he enclosed his mouth around your left one first, sucking and nipping on your plump mounds holding them in his hands. He opened your legs wide, grinding his bulge against your soaking core, and you pressed your hips back, shifting them to make your clit land against the roughness of his pants, you were grinding against him, dry humping him as he teased your breast and groped at them. He could feel how wet you were getting, you wanted to stop him after a while so that you wouldn’t cum but he didn’t let up rolling his hips harder against you until you were cumming against the fabric of his pants, staining them with your juices. He chuckled against your flesh pulling back to crash his lips against yours.

“You got my pants all ruined. It seems I’ll have to punish you when we get home.” Christian warned, he unzipped his pants slowly, not caring to unbutton them just untucking his shirt so that nothing gets caught. He let his dick spring free, it stood high in the air, dripping with precum. He gripped at the base of his cock with one hand the other gripping at your left leg to raise it up, his hand trailing higher towards your plump ass cheeks. He slid inside of you slowly pressing his forehead against yours, he bit on his bottom lip as he entered your tight wet heat keeping you close. Once he was buried to the hilt, he lifted your other leg up to cup both of your ass cheeks, your skirt bunched around your hips and hanging towards the floor as he entered inside of you repeatedly. He started slow thrusting in and out of you, grinding inside of your heat trying to stretch you out and get a feel of you wrapping around his dick. He kissed at your lips, the make-out was heavy, lot of tongues grinding against each other as you rolled your hips against his.

“Fuck baby.” He grunted shuddering as you did it again. He loved it when you fucked yourself on his dick. “Go ahead y/n. Show me that you want it.” He moved to press the palms of his hand against the wall on either side of your head. You agreed as he steadied himself, starting to push your hips against him, your hands resting on his shoulders around his neck as you fucked yourself, looking down at where your sexes joined together. It was always so hot to you to see how he pushed inside of you, how your heat wrapped tightly around his heat. How he pushed deep inside of you. It was all too erotic for your mind to comprehend and the sheer pleasure that jolted inside of you, every time you pulled back and slide yourself down on him.

You started to set a rhythm, getting more into it, concentrating on the tricks you learned for him, squeezing around on his dick, rolling your hips against his hips. A knock at the door jolted you both, Christian growled out, he had been silently moaning and watching you get off. It was a beautiful sight to see and he loved it. But now he was annoyed with whoever was trying to ruin his moment.

“Who is it?” He asked in a low thick tone a growl erupting from his lips as his messy curly hair got into his face, looking up at him you felt you could’ve came again just by how he looked. A fucking gorgeous man.

“Christian. Savannah is looking for you, she says her new producer wants to thank you.” You knew the voice well, it was Mino one of Christian close friends.

“Can you tell her to wait?” Christian asked, he gripped at your hips when you tried to move whispering with a rough deep voice against your ear. “I never told you to stop. Don’t get in more trouble y/n.” He slapped at your ass cheeks causing you to moan and nod your head. You agreed starting to fuck yourself on his shaft once again, the sound of your hips bouncing against his was resonating against the walls as the rest stood outside.

“I did, I’ll handle it.” DPR voice was next to ring out in the hallway and part of you wondered where your friend was since he was never without her. But hearing the annoyance in his voice you knew that something was going on.

“Go faster y/n.” Christian commanded and you obeyed letting your hips pick up the speed, slamming yourself onto him whimpering as you tried to keep your body up, your legs locking around his waist gather, the heels of your foot pressing down into his lower back. “That’s it, just like that baby girl. Fuck you feel so good taking my dick into that pretty pussy.” He whispered huskily against your ear, catching your lobe between his teeth to grind his teeth against it.

“Christian!” Savannah shouted, and Christian could feel you stop your hips causing him to growl.

“WHAT!” He barked at the door as he pushed your hips against the wall. He was agitated at this point, all he wanted was time with you that he had been deprived of lately.

“Christian I knew you were in there! Come out here! There are people I need you to see!” Savannah chirped and he shook his head holding onto you as he started to fuck into you harder against the wall. The somewhat intimate pace becoming rougher as his frustrations grew every second. His head pressed against your shoulder and he released a low groan his hands staring to become sweaty against the wall and he tried to keep you hoisted up. Once he didn’t answer she shouted again.

“CHRISTIAN!” She shouted once more and he shook his head snapping his hips against you. He switched angles to pound against your spot, causing you to cry out his name.

“Christian!” You choked out a loud cry.

“Louder!” He said as he yanked at your hair pulling your head back, you gasped out loud as he let his hips go faster, until he couldn’t get any faster nor harder. Driving into you, with his knees bending a bit and legs spread apart. One of your hands moved to grip at his hair and the other gripped at his shoulder blades through his shirt.

“Christian! Daddy! Fuck right there-I’m cumming!” It felt so good to say those words to a girl that has tried her hardest to keep you away from Christian and not only tonight but always. You could hear and feel the silence as her heels clicked against the ground and she walked off, but your mind was swirling only the faint part of your mind could register what was happening. Most part of your mind was preoccupied with the fact that your stomach was clenching from the release that was creeping up. Your eyes shut as you dropped your mouth open. Christian grinded his hips against you changing his strokes to long and deep causing him to brush against your clit. You gave into him, listening to his deep commands to cum again and you did it, coating his shaft with your essence.

“Fuck y/n! Shit you feel so fucking good, just like that baby, fuck yeah just like that.” He moaned against your ear as he continued to slam into you, a few thrusts later and he was filling you to the brim, his hips grinding against yours to make you bury his load inside of your sensitive pussy. He held you close to his body. Both of your breaths were heavy, your eyes hooded and he pressed a soft kiss against your cheek before he kissed your lips. Though you couldn’t hear the music that well, the familiar beat of a song filled the room and Christian chuckled as you hit his shoulder.

“Shut up..” You muttered with a soft pout.

“I spy with my little eyes, a girly I can get cause she don’t get too many likes. A curly headed cutie I can turn into my wife.” He was about to sing the rest but your covered his lips looking in his eyes.

“Forever is a long time but as much as I fought to avoid you, you better be giving it to me. Deal?” You asked and let your hand drop down slowly.

“Deal.” He grinned kissing your lips. He pulled out of after some time and helped you fix your outfit, grabbing at his hands he pulled you into the bathroom and you tried to help him clean his pants. Once you were done, he pulled you back onto the club floor, his arm wrapping around your waist, to hold you close. Savannah walked towards you both and as soon as she opened her mouth Christian cut her off.

“I’m your video producer nothing else. I helped put you on, we helped you with this party. And now me and you are done, you don’t need me for anything else. And if in the future you ever need me to do a video, it’ll be up to my baby to decide if I should do it or not. You’ve caused more than enough scenes for one night and yeah as a friend you’re cool but that’s all you’ll ever be. So please excuse us both and enjoy the rest of your night, with your friends.” He bowed his head smiling at her before he led you off walking towards the door, and much to your surprise every person that was rolling with Christian and saw you leave left themselves as you all went to another hangout spot for the rest of the night.

crop tops
Where you wear something harry likes and steals you away just to show you how much he really does like it…

my masterlist x

leave feedback or requests x

warning: smut ————————————————————————-

Y/n was very hot

LA was currently being hit with a heat wave and she was not taking it very well. Y/n wasn’t use to this type of weather. She originally from a small town up near north of Washington, right smack dab outside the border of Canada. So living in a place where it would get as hot as 110 and cold as 60 was something she was not ever going to get use to. She living in Washington with her family for 21 years till she decided to leave and pursue her dreams. Y/n has always been a big animal lover, ever since she has lived right next to a huge lake she has became very fond with the animals that live deep down inside. After getting her degree in marine biology at the University of Washington she knew it was time to start living out her dream. After many and many more applications y/n got a call back from the Marine Mammal Care Center. It’s been years since she have moved to this small cozy apartment up in Playa Vista. Ever since y/n came to California her life has truly been better than ever, her career was really taking off,  was eating great food and went on amazing adventures but most of all met great people. The most important person that she came across was her boyfriend Harry, Harry Styles. Yes the Harry Styles that use to be the in the boyband One Direction but all of the boys have gone their own paths and became solo artists. Now some time after parting their own ways life has just been just getting better for the both of them. Y/n is happy at her job doing what she loves and Harry has now about to start touring the world promoting his first solo album. Before Harry packs his bags and leaves us all for for almost a year Jeff and Y/n decided to have a secret goodbye party for Harry. They all set it right in Harry’s backyard when he was away preparing for tour and shopping around with Harry Lambert to get all of his wardrobe together. Harry was in on it and tried to keep Harry out as long as possible so he wouldn’t come in and crash the whole surprise. Jeff and Y/n invited so many people to the party which included friends and family, they flew Anne, Gemma and Michal out. They catered food in and had a designer come in to help with the much need decorations up and all around the house. They had set up lights everywhere stringing all over the home to bright up the sky since it started to turn sun down before Harry would finally return back home. There was an open bar and an endless playlist of music to play throughout the entire night. Just as things were getting finished up y/n got a text message from Lambart saying that him and Harry would be showing up any minute.

“Harry will be here any minute, everyone get ready” she yelled out to get everyone’s attention, she looks over at Anne, Gemma and Michal. She gives all three a big smile when jogging over to them all and grabs a hold of their hands to hide, to duck away from Harry’s sight. All three of them hid behind the big black leather couch that Harry and y/n picked out when they were in about 6 months of their relationship. Crouching down on the cold tiled floor trying to keep a still so she won’t fall over, silently waiting for Harry to pop in through the door. In the moment she can hear the ever so slightly sound of the hand on the clock tick as each second passes by. Her head shoots up when she recognizes the sound of jingling keys and two voices coming from outside of the front door.

The door gets pushed open and she can tell that it’s Harry right away with the black leather Gucci loafers he stepped out in the early morning, the deep laugh he has whenever someone tells him a joke. Just then as he turns out to all of our clear view everyone pops up to him surprise. “SURPRISE” everyone yells out simultaneously when he steps his way into the living room. The surprise causing harry’s eyes to go big and his arms raise up to his face shocked at what is all happening

“Oh my god wow what is going on?” Harry gasps, stunned that everyone is here. Scanning his eyes all over to everyone till landing them on me. He stretches a big smile, causing his cheeks to turn red and one of his dimpled popping out on his left cheek. He drops the bags that he had resting on his forearms and puts them on the living room floor. He says a quick hello and shakes everyone’s hand, giving some hugs with some congrats from some friends. When he finally reaches the end to Y/n, Anne, Gemma and Michal he instantly pulls his mom into a big hug with a kiss to each cheek. Saying his thank you’s and telling them all how much he is happy to see them. He shakes Michal’s hand and pulls him into a side hug “hey man, good to see you” harry greets smiling back at him and looking over at Gemma and giving her a wink. When his eyes shift over to y/n he gets this sudden feeling, like everything else is a blur and she is the only thing he can see. The world stops spinning and the only two people in the room are them both.

“Y/n baby” he says reaching over to rest both of his hands into hers. Embracing his fingers into hers and raising it up to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to the back of her hand. Staring at all of the features of his face, even all of his flaws. The way when he smiles he gets deep dimples on his cheeks, that she gets a sudden urge to poke with the tip of her finger. The way that his hair is tossed like he has been running his fingers through it when he is slightly stressed. His golden tanned skin that he must of gotten from being all out this afternoon. He is so beautiful and all hers.

“Congrats Harry” she tells him pulling him in for an embrace. Wrapping her arms around him and nuzzling her face into the side of his neck. She can smell the warm sweet smell of strawberries and vanilla in his hair. He must of gotten into her shampoo and used it this morning when he taken a hot shower. She kisses the side of his neck lightly, rubbing and snuggling her nose taking in the smell of him. Making a trail up to his cheek with her lips, pressing her lips in wanting him to feel her love for him. Love being this close to him, love having him back home after not seeing him all day. The only interaction was him kissing her lips tenderly and whispering a goodbye when she was half asleep and in a matter of seconds he was running out the door.

“I am so happy to see you” Harry whispers into her ear, she can feel the light tickle of his breath as it barely breaths on the side of her cheek. He slowly runs his hands down her back, letting his fingertips dancing gliding further till he strikingly drops them and she gets the cue to pull away. When being pulled back into the reality of the party and the people that must be starting to stare at their unwillingness to detach from one another.

“I love you” She says smiling not wanting to take her eyes off of him, she feels like he might just disappear if she does for one moment. He raises his hand up and rests it on her left cheek, rubbing it and she leans her face into him. He lets go and turns her around, wanting her to be by his side. As much as he does love having her close up in his arms, feeling her warmth up against his body. Her skin is sweet like honey, eyes that could kill and body that is dangerous.

“I love you too” He says thinking about, why unexpected affection in front of his family? He took her right hand in his and squeezed it to reassure her. She just feels so screwed up in the head, to love a man that is so brilliant and beautiful. But she doesn’t care and life will take her as things go. If she is judged and considered crazy then so be it, because Harry is the only thing she really needs in life.

“Aren’t you two the cutest thing ever” Anne comments, taking away the attention from them both and directing it back over to them three. Harry and y/n giggling, getting internally flustered over everyone catching up on Harry and y/n’s conversation. Y/n growing up in a world where she just loved the idea of love and searched for it, but she didn’t know exactly what it was at that time. When she left all of her family back in Washington she never expected her life to turn around like this. She never thought that having a life involving a man like this was ever gonna happen to her.

“They act like this all the time mom, they can’t ever take their hands off of each other” Gemma says playfully rolling her eyes looking over Michal to see his reaction. But he ends up just laughing back at her and rubbing the back of his head looking over at another direction. “Hey what’s that look for?” Harry whines playfully back, making a little pout with his bottom lip. One minute he can look so manly with his deep voice and his muscle with his lean figure. Then next he can look like a little baby with his whining for love and affection, so vulnerable.

“Just kidding, just stating a fact that you both are very much attached to the hip” Gemma states to them smiling at the both, happy at just the fact that her brother has finally found his happy place. After that day he left knowing that was the last time her brother would just be the Harry Styles that was from Homes Chaples she knew he was gonna become something big. All she ever wanted in life was for was him to be happy, to do what he wants to do and surround himself with the right people. She could tell at one point that Harry started to get a bit lonely after he left One Direction. But the day that he came to visit her and expressed that he met someone she just knew that this girl must be special. With the way that he was smiling when speaking about her, when getting nervous and rambling on and on to their mother and her about y/n they both knew that this is what he was missing.

“Just don’t get pregnant, not yet” Anne comments laughing, but y/n knows deep down that she is being serious with the both of them. Harry’s eyes bulge out when hearing what his mother just spoke. He starts to cough, feeling shocked and getting choked up at what his mother said but also a little embarrassed that his mother would bring that up in front of everyone. He pulls himself together, covering his mouth and laughs out about it not taking it too seriously. As much as Harry loves children and loves the idea of children, loves the idea of having children one day with y/n but at this moment in his life he is nowhere near ready. The fairytale of one day in the future starting a family and having something he created with someone he loves, like y/n is something as beautiful as a dream.

Life for Harry has truly been taking off, in the best ways. Yes he has had his ups and downs but still he is doing what he loves. Living in anyone’s dream who else is wanting to pursue the life as an artist. Being with the music and getting to create what you want and what mindset you have, truly is like a living dream but in ways can be a nightmare. But when he is having this empty feeling in his heart that he doesn’t know how to fill, not with music not with friends or family not with excotic trips will fix it. When Harry met y/n he never thought that this is how his life would be. When he first saw her he thought she was just like a beam of light that lit up the entire room, he couldn’t take his eyes off of her. She just had this soul that was so inviting, like when you were a young child seeing someone you liked and you would get butterflies for no apparent reason. Y/n was a drug to Harry, pure ecstasy running through his veins creating this rush of euphoria.

“Mom we aren’t ready for that, don’t worry” Harry says, correcting his mother. He looks down to see the reaction that y/n has pulled but she doesn’t have much of one. Well if she did he is more leaning on her looking a little flustered, but she truly seems fine. Harry squeezes the hand that has been resting in his to see if she is okay. She looks up at him and gives him a loving smile. She lifts her hand up and pulls his face down to her’s, kissing the side of his cheek lightly with her red tinted lips. “Yes we aren’t there yet in our lives, but one day” y/n says smiling over to them up. Running her fingers up and down on Harry’s back, lightly skimming his shoulder blades with her fingertips.

                 ——————————————

As the night went on and Harry and y/n went around their home talking to many people. Everyone just being very welcoming, speaking highly of Harry and how they all see such a bright future coming his way. After Harry left One Direction he did start to get lonely, he was scared. Scared of what his life was coming to and if this was going to be the end for him. He was having a bit of an identity crisis, not knowing what he wanted to do with his life. But when everyone around him just told him to do what he wanted to, and now he is here. About to start traveling for a world tour, longer than y/n truly would like but she knows that it will be good for him.

Harry excused himself and jogged over to the bar to grab y/n and him another drink, specifically another gin and tonic with extra lime. Y/n was left standing here alone in the corner frontal entrance of her and Harry’s house. Trying to keep all thoughts to herself till she he hears shuffling and talking coming from behind her till she realizes that it is Anne and Gemma. “Y/n, what are you standing here all alone?” Gemma says and pulls y/n into a side hug, wrapping her left arm around y/n’s neck feeling like she might suffocate her any moment now. She looks over at Anne on the other side to see her reaction of her daughter’s actions. “Just waiting for Harry to return back with my drink”

“You and Harry are just the cutest thing ever, when are you guys getting married” Gemma asks me, Y/n smiles at first but does still get a bit nervous over the question. Her and Harry have been together for awhile now and marriage have come up a few times but nothing taken truly too serious. Just then Harry returns and with the look upon on his face she can tell that he must of heard Gemma.

“Gemma can you please stop bugging my girlfriend” Harry speaks up, looking down at them confused about why they would speaking up about this. Harry does truly love this girl and wants to spend the rest of his life with her but he likes where his life is right now and doesn’t want to mess anything up. Before Harry met Y/n he wasn’t such a big fan of serious relationships, he was with a few women here and there but nothing lasted. Then he was introduced to Y/n by a mutual friend and she has been everything he thinks about since. He remembers their first date and how he took her out to this supposedly secluded restaurant but you know how the paps are, they will always find you. Well that morning Harry was awakened to many texts messages from his management, many articles and photos up online about them two and many tweets from fans. He soon after talking to Jeff about what was gonna happen and what he should do he called Y/n. He was nervous to hear her reaction and see how she would like knowing that her face was plastered all over the internet. Feeling worried that people would find her social media and send her some rude messages that could cause her to be upset. When he rang her up and explained the situation to her and her opinion of it he knew that she was the one. She actually took a laugh to it and she told him that she knew the situation she was getting in dating the world famous Harry Styles.

“You look pretty sexy tonight” Harry says finally catching a glimpse of what she was wearing. She had some shorts on that showed a lot of thigh, more than harry expected since his mother is around but he really is not complaining. On top she had a bright yellow cropped top that showed off a bit of her stomach. Y/n most of the time didn’t show off much skin but once in awhile she did and sure did it excite Harry.

“Harry stop, people are around” Y/n says when Harry starts to run his fingers up and down, lightly dancing his fingertips on her back. Getting a good feel of the open skin on her back, the soft strands of the hair that are standing up from the slight cold touch that was just holding his glass. Harry chuckled to himself, finding is soothing knowing that in the moment of his life he was looking at y/n first off in her face. As sexy and sexually attracted he was to her he knew deep down that y/n was much more than that. He knew from day one and hearing her speak the first few words to him he knew that he would marry this woman one day.

“I’m sorry baby, but being stuck shopping around all day a man’s brain does wonder to some naughty thoughts… even if those thoughts are of you with your legs wrapped around my waist as I fuck the life out of your pussy” Harry whispers, lowering his lips down to her ear keeping his words low so only the two of them could hear.

“Oh my god… Harry, are you trying to kill me” y/n loudly whispers. Turning her face up at Harry’s and clutching his dress shirt with her fist. Pulling him down closer to her face, so close that he can feel her hot breath hitting his cheek. She lets go and raising her hand up to his face, lightly grazing her fingers down to his lips feeling the urge to kiss them. So pink, plump and soft, his lips are so kissable. Even after years together she can never stop thinking about kissing him, wanting to feel them all over her body.

“I’m sorry baby girl but did you really think that you could wear something that is so little right in front of me, and just not expect me to do anything about it” He strictly says to her, kissing the side of her cheekbone letting his lips rest upon there. He lets go and raises his body up off of her, y/n doesn’t make any reaction to his statement. He starts to walk away from her but decides to turn away to see if she has finally caught her attention. She has her head turned slightly just to catch him in the corner of her eye, even with the small sight she has she can still see the smirk playing on his face. With that kind of look, the darkness in his eyes and the small turn of smile on his lips y/n just knows what the night will come to.

As y/n stands there alone again while Harry went to socialize with Jeff, Mitch and y/n stood there left with all of her thoughts. Harry loved teasing y/n in public, even if they were in a big crowd of people he didn’t care. Just last month at one of his shows they were seducing and eye fucking each other till later that night when they both were all alone. The way his body felt on top of y/n’s and his hips moving in sync with her own. They had to stay quiet so no one would hear them and Harry was not afraid to use his words during sex. Y/n tried her best to keep her voice low and Harry would continuously have to bite the side of her neck to cover up his moans, but it ended up resulting into giving her some bruising.

She continued to sip on her drink, the cold rush of the gin running down her throat giving her this burning feeling in her stomach. She is starting to feel a bit tipsy, Y/n is a bit of a light weight since she doesn’t get to drink as much. Deep down she knew before she decided to get out of bed after Harry lightly kissed her lips half asleep and the cold morning breeze coming from the half open window that she had to do something to keep Harry’s eyes a little preoccupied for the night. She could still feel his eyes wandering over in her direction, she turned back in his way seeing him leaned up against the island having a conversation with Jeff but still that couldn’t keep Harry’s mind off of what you look like underneath of your clothing. The way your shorts rise up every time you even move an inch, how tight your top is and how short it is going past your belly button. Like how Harry has had the thought before “What was y/n up to? Why was she wearing this? Especially in front of his mother and sister, He needed to figure this out.”

On cue just as y/n expected Harry returned back to her, not surprised that he couldn’t keep himself busy with his friends. She can feel him coming up behind her, the loud sound of his boots with each step he takes. She has her back turned to him, smiling to herself knowing exactly how affectionate Harry is gonna be for the rest of the night…not like she is complaining. She feels his hot breath weaving up to the top of her earlobe and down her spine, the smooth touch made her body jerk a bit and feeling goosebumps rise. Harry reaches down and clutches her hand in his own, her limp fingers resting in his fist still not making any notion to his existence. He leans down to her level, his body towering right over her would probably almost freak and skid herself out of his embrace if she didn’t know who it was. He lightly steals a couple of kisses from her shoulder, pecking across the warm tan skin. The sweet smell of sugar was making him smile, just feeling so lucky to have such a beautiful woman in his life.

“Let’s go upstairs” she hears the low grown of tone coming out of Harry’s mouth, making her head tilt up and her awareness on high alert. She turns and shifts her body to get even a better view of his intentions for the night. With his body language and the way that he is looking at her in this manner she can tell that he isn’t for any fun in games anymore, unless that involves them both undressing no clothing and naked bodies moving together to create such a beautiful thing in humanity.

She doesn’t respond, she just turns and grasps his hand. She knows deep down that she wants the same thing. She isn’t gonna deprive and stop herself from being happy, from spending some alone time with her love even if other people are around and they do need to sneak away. He grips onto her hands and quickly pulls her with him up to their shared bedroom. She looks behind still having the sight of the crowd full of people lingering in their home. She wanted to watch out and to make sure that no one has noticed both of their sudden absence, but she knew that most of their friends would soon realize why Harry and y/n are gone. The coast is clear and they both speed over to the bed and close the door right behind the both of them, shutting it slowly making sure not to make any sound.

“Come here baby girl, let daddy show you how much he loves you” Harry makes his way out to her, sitting down on their bed with his arms behind leaning on the bed to keep his balance. He’s staring at her, head leaning down gawking at her like she is a piece of meat. She is his prey and he is her predator, looking more than just to eat her.

Y/n listens to Harry’s command and strides over to him, taking each step slowly making him get frustrated each second he waits. She is staring right back at him with the same look, not getting intimidated. The atmosphere is stronger than ever, the feeling of lust almost wanting to choke her to death. She finally reaches Harry and instantly takes a seat down on his lap not asking for any kind of permission. She wraps her arms around his neck running her hands up and through his hair, pushing her breasts out to pull his attention down to her body. Watching the way that his eyes scan over her, the curve to her hips when he hold on to them and moving down to her ass, giving it a nice squeeze and smack. The way that she reacts to his touch and the rubbing of his hands all over her body makes up so many memories of them together. The way that Harry reacts when y/n is on top of him, the way her hips rise up and down creating a rhythm with each thrust he gives.

Harry slides his hands under her shirt feeling the curves of her plump breast over her bra and sliding his fingers over the straps. Pulling her top over her head ready to see what is underneath, what he has been waiting to see all night long. When he rips it off he drops it down next on the floor Harry looks back up, this beautiful girl in front of him fresh faced all flustered from the making out. Her hair tousled from Harry continuously running his fingers and pulling at it. Harry reaches behind y/n and unclips her bra she reaches down with him and helps him, she still keeps her head down scanning over her now naked chest. Harry reaches down and lifts her focus back up to him, wanting her to connect back to him.

Harry stands up abruptly and pulls his t-shirt over his head, soon realizes that they don’t have much time to just be sitting around. As much as Harry would love to take all night to explore her body and showing her how much he loves her, but it’s just not one of those nights. Y/n gets the idea and removes her shorts with him, pulling both of their undergarments slowly sliding her panties down hitting the floor. They both stand there looking at each other, the cold breeze from the air making her arm hair stand up, because of that she feels the urge to get Harry close to her. She gently lays down on their bed, scooting her body up closer to the head board. Harry walks right next to her, Y/n lays there with her eyes closed as Harry dances his fingers up her arm.

“Baby, we gotta hurry” y/n acknowledged, Harry smiles and listens to her advice. Laying on top of her and taking advantage of the moment. They start kissing right away, the soft feeling of her lips on his. Takes him back to the very first time that they kissed, since the day they met Harry could not stop thinking about having her lips on top of his. She opens her mouth for him letting him slide his tongue in, at this point Harry knows exactly what y/n wants from him. Harry stretches down lifts her hips up gripping tightly to her love handles. Y/n was always insecure about her body, she always felt like since she had a few curves and some meat on her bones that I wasn’t attracted to her… but oh was she so wrong. Harry loved everything y/n had and more to give each and every day. Her smooth velvet like skin that he loved to rub and grab at every time she was ever so near him.

Harry rubs and grinds his crotch onto her, wanting to see her reaction just with a simple touch. She suddenly lets out a soft moan laying back and closes her eyes, the sound is like music to his ears. “Harry baby, I want you” she begs him, reaching down and grasps him making Harry jump and laugh at her unexpected touches. Harry doesn’t wait one second and listens to y/n request, Sitting up and lift her hips up and pushing her legs back to get a better position.

“Oh you want this, you want this baby” Harry says grabbing his erect cock and rubs the tip up againsts her pussy, trying to stimulate and collect some of her wetness. She lets out another moan and giggles at Harry’s actions, reaching down to where he is touching her. She grasps him again wanting to help him, Harry smiles and laughs at her moving his hips further against her. He feels himself slowly start to slide into her, the head of his cock poking into her warm wet walls. Harry throws his head back at the feeling, god he misses this feeling so much he thinks. He hasn’t been able to experience this with her in quite awhile, since he has been so busy getting ready to go on tour he hasn’t been able to have some alone time with her.

“God you feel so good” Harry moans out, not wanting to wait one minute to not being in her. He pushes in further urging his way in, watching the expression to play on her face, loving to see how she would react to his touches. He can feel that the way that she is squeezing his arms and running her fingernails down his back that he is making her feel good. Harry wanted to play dirty, he wanted to make her scream and make her beg, but he wasn’t gonna make her get what she wanted so easily. Even though laying here on top her with her wrapped around him and just in a matter of seconds he could fuck her and cum so quickly, but he wanted to play some games.

Harry sits up lifting up his torso and arms but not pulling himself out of her. Y/n notices the sudden stop of Harry and her lost of touch with his warm body. “Harry baby, what are you doing?” y/n questions harry, not understanding what Harry’s intentions are. He seemed so focused on having sex and getting in her pants, but now she’s worried that something may be wrong. Harry smiling and looking down at her, laughing to himself feeling ready to see what else he can do to get y/n to submit to him.

“It’s gonna take a lot more of you giving yourself to me to fuck your pussy” Harry says smirking and leans down to her ear, smirking against her ear and kissing the side of her cheek. He stays there still wanting to get her worked up, he knows that she is laying there with so many thoughts running through her mind at this moment. Y/n wants to feel him closer, the hard feeling of his cock inside of her and the pulsating of it makes her feel some what sane. His chest to her, the heavy breathing she can feeling from his breath and the slow drawn out touches on her body. She knows what she has to get Harry to give it all up, for him to listen to her begging and take care of her needs.

“Fuck me daddy” Y/n whispers in his ear, smiling to herself because she knows that she has him. She knows when saying that to him that he wouldn’t be able to control himself, she rarely ever called him that. Daddy wasn’t her favorite thing to pull out during sex, she does love rough sex but when your boyfriend is gonna be away for many months she wants something loving to come about in the bedroom. But with the situation with not having much time and knowing that this will get Harry off the quickest is probably the best bet.

Harry leans back up and smiles down at her, reaching down to her legs and putting them over his shoulders and gets right to work not wanting to waste any time. He starts to thrust up against her body, still holding her down so he would be able to get a better position. She starts to cry out, reaching up to Harry’s neck and pulls him down to her. She presses her lips to his, wanting to feel something intimate with him even though they can’t be here for much longer. Harry smiles into the kiss and squeezing tighter onto her thighs. Their lips pull apart and Harry notices a line of spit connected to the both of them, so Harry licks his lips and smirks and snaps a smile at her. “Fuck Harry yes faster, fuck my pussy” y/n moaned out, reaching and gripping onto the back of Harry’s head.

“Oh you like this, you like this baby” Harry trying to tease her, she pouts and throws her head back not being able to give much reaction. A growl rumbling through Harry’s body, he’s grinding down to her hips and gritting his teeth “God you feel so good little girl, you take me so well” As good as y/n feels he knows he doesn’t have much time to take in the moment and that they need to hurry up and finish. The soft kiss to his lips the smell of his skin that tastes sweet at strawberry champagne. But the feeling rushing through her body was like a roller coaster that she never wanted to end, like the rush of heroin to a drug addict she just couldn’t get enough.

She reaches down to where they meet and starts to rub and play at her clit, needing more stimulation getting closer to the end. She doesn’t want this to end, she loves this and loves being connected to Harry. A second of sadness and worries run through her head but instantly tries to block them out, not wanting Harry to see her like this and not wanting to ruin the last few hours they do have together. Harry continues to rock inside of her, feeling the pulsing of her walls wrapped around him causing him to get closer and closer to him finishing. The feeling his balls smack up against her bum and the stretching of his cock around her wet pink slick walls. He knew in any moment that he was gonna cum, he was gonna have the feeling of his cock pulsating and throbbing inside of her pussy. The background sounds of the commotion of people still downstairs, thankful that there is still a party going on not wanting their absence unnoticed for too long. Y/n could lay here wrapped up in Harry’s arm for the rest of her existence and never leave, the only place she feels whole and loved is with him.

“God y/n I’m gonna cum” Harry moans out to her, tightly gripping onto her hips and pounding hard into her. He looks up and squeezes his eyes shut not taking in any mind of her and just wants to feel her’s and his body together. Cherishing the very last few minutes they have till they both finish and will have to return to the party. The curve to her body from her hips to her back and leading to her breasts, Harry softly gripping and squeezing. Y/n moans out when he does so and clutches her hand on top of his to hold him onto her, loving his hands on her body.

“Ahhh yes Harry yes I’m coming” Y/n yells out, not caring if anyone can hear her and Harry didn’t seem to notice much either. His thrusts start to get sloppy and messy, meaning he is about to cum. He leans down and puts his face into her neck grunting and gritting his teeth, trying to ride out the last final moments. “Christ fucking hell y/n ughh ah, my sweet y/n yes make me feel so good” Harry yells out, biting onto her shoulder trying to muffle out any of the sounds he is making. Gripping tightly onto her hips, digging his fingernails into her skin feeling like he almost might break through. When she feels his grips loosen and his hands unclench, lips start to softly kiss on her neck that this is it.

Harry lifts his head and looks at her saying nothing, both have no expression to their face. Harry gets a rush and rolls himself off of her, y/n feeling a sudden cold and loneliness without having Harry’s touch with her. She looks over at him turning her head laying her cheek down, staring at him seeing to get his attention. Harry is smiling from ear to ear, confused on what he is so happy about. “What you smiling about mister?” Y/n questions Harry, reaching her hand up to his face and turning himself towards her way. His hair is a mess and his skin is glowing with dried up drops of sweat.

“Just in love” Harry answers, pulling y/n into him nuzzling herself into his chest. They stay there together taking in the last few moments together before they get dressed and head back to the reality of their life. Y/n pulls apart from Harry and sits up, Harry still lying behind knowing that he will be more of a struggling getting up and out of bed just like every morning. She gets up out of bed and grabs her clothing up off of the floor and lays them on the bed getting ready to re dress. Harry smirks watching her pay not attention to him and his stare, reach up to grasp her hand wanting her to turn to him.

“I don’t wanna go” Harry states, wrapping his fingers and intertwining them with hers. She turns to him turning her top inside out and slipping it back over her head. Looking over Harry gazing at him, lying naked in bed a sweaty mess but full stupid giggles and laughs. Harry is always like this after sex, he just keep in his happiness or to express his love so he laughs and is very goofy. Y/n grips hard onto his hand and decide to pull him up off the bed, not answering back to him and him just following through with what he needs to do. Y/n picks up his things and help him get dressed pulling his such way too skinny jeans and his soft satin button up but leaving out a few showing his chest. Running your finger through his hair trying to use them as a makeshift brush to clean him up a bit, and to make him look like he didn’t just have a wild sexcapaid like we did just minutes ago.

“Thanks babe” Harry says smiling down at her looking right into her eyes, running his hand through her hair and laying it right under her cheek. Leaning down and kissing her lips, parting her lips for him but not deeping it to much so they won’t get trapped into kissing for to long. Y/n soon let go and lean back down onto her feet, turning back around walking my way over to the door. Harry followers right behind her catching up behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist, kissing the top of her making her feel so loved. Laughing to herself that this all started just because of what she choose to wear today. But for now on they will they will be returning back to the party like nothing even happened.

                                   ——————————————

hope you all enjoyed the story i worked very hard on it and would love some feedback thank you have a good day - maddy

I never listened to Linkin Park when I was a teenager.

I know everyone talks about going through their “edgy phase” as a teen and then growing up and “cringing” at those interests, but that wasn’t my experience. When I was a teen, I was in a “pretentious” phase. Classic rock and independent films and the “great works” of literature, and acting like they made me better than everyone else. Hanging around with people who were snobs and who would sneer at anyone who was actively interested in anything that was too lowbrow, and desperately trying to please them. Hiding emotions because all my friends kept everything behind at least three layers of ironic detachment and performative sarcasm.

And you know what? It never improved my life. Being like that only made me unhappy and made me feel ashamed of the things I liked in secret. Made me afraid to show my emotions so I bottled them up and let them eat me away from the inside out. It took me years to realize how damaging that way of thinking was. I’m still trying to put the pieces of my identity back together, trying to find all the parts of myself that I had buried deep underground to protect them from ridicule and rejection. But I know now that I hate snobs, I hate cringe culture, I hate judgemental assholes who sneer at people because their interests are easy to mock.

I didn’t start listening to Linkin Park until I was 20.

Someone who was very important to me mentioned that they were into it. At first, I laughed, just as a reflex, but then I listened. I listened to the music and I heard people putting a voice to pain that I felt, saying things about me that I was struggling to say about myself. They played the album “Reanimation,” a more obscure album where Linkin Park collaborated with a bunch of underground hip hop artists to remix their original songs. I convinced myself that was why I liked them. This was different. This wasn’t just Linkin Park, this was “true artists” taking what Linkin Park made and turning it into “true art.” We listened to the album over and over and I fell in love twice, with a person and with the music they shared with me.

It wasn’t until I was 22 that I let myself dive deeper into their music. The person who had introduced me to their music had cut ties with me. I told myself that I was only listening to the album out of nostalgia, and a desire feel what I felt with them before. But that wasn’t true, I wanted more. So I let myself listen to the rest of their music. And when I did, I found a depth of emotion and passion that I never realized was there.

When I first heard “Breaking the Habit,” I cried. And that never happens. But the lyrics spoke to me that much, it seemed to describe exactly what I was dealing with at the time. And as I listened to more and more of their music i found more and more pieces of me that I had lost. Feelings I was scared to feel. Thoughts that I was afraid of. Ashamed of. I let myself acknowledge them for the first time in years and I started to delve deeper into what this band was really about.

You know the song “Crawling?” Yeah, the “teen angst” song that everyone likes to make fun of for being so “edgy” and “cringeworthy?” Did you know that song was about Chester Bennington’s struggle with getting into alcohol and drug addiction at a very young age? Yeah, it’s not about “being angsty and your parents not understanding” or whatever shit you all like to claim it’s about. It’s about actual something that millions of people really struggle with. And honestly, if you ever listened to the lyrics, it’s hard to misinterpret it as being about “angst.” It’s a powerful song, and it’s a good song, regardless of how many Naruto AMVs it was used in.

People have been mocking Linkin Park for years. People have been shaming them for continuing to make these “cringeworthy” songs where they bare their emotions- ugly emotions, emotions that are hard to deal with from any angle and even harder to admit openly. And yet? they’ve never stopped. Over 15 years since Hybrid Theory first came out and they’ve never stopped releasing music which is sincere, which is passionate, which exposes the raw emotions that so many people deal with but are afraid to acknowledge out of fear of judgement. They’ve given hope to so many people just by saying “Hey, you’re not alone. We struggle with these things too, and so do the people around you who listen to us. Reach out to them, you don’t have to be ashamed.”

And they never stopped growing and changing, either. Almost every single album they’ve released has experimented with their sound, trying out bits and pieces of different genres and seeing how they might be better at delivering the message they want to send. And while I haven’t always appreciated the results, I’ve always appreciated the experimentation.

I’m getting off track but the point is, Linkin Park means a lot to me. Their music is important, and I’m not going to be ashamed of that fact. And the world has undeniably lost someone important today. Chester Bennington, a person who went through so musch trauma, who struggled with drug addiction and alcohol addiction since he was a child, who was sexually abused as a child, who was bullied and beaten as a child, who grew up with so much pain and damaged mental health because of that, and who tried so hard to turn that pain into something positive, something that would help other people, is gone. He couldn’t make it, and that breaks my heart. And honestly? It scares me.

But I’m not going to let that destroy the message that his music sent. Chester Bennington always had hope. Even to the end, he was writing music telling people that they mattered, and urging them not to give up. Even if he couldn’t take his own advice, I know he still meant it. And that he was saying it because he needed to hear it just as much as we did. That message will live on past him.

“Who cares if one more light goes out? Well I do.”

never enough (TKST one shot)

A/N: hello lovelies! here is a little blurb i wrote based on a prompt about post-VMAs sex with Shawn in his suit. that suit was hella hot so yeah, i couldn’t resist. this is a twist on that request and it takes place in the TKST universe, some time in the future of  their timeline! enjoy!! 

You didn’t go to the show with him because this thing you’ve got is still so fresh. Only a handful of people know, some of his friends and family, and some of yours, and it’s still too new to go public. You’re both still learning each other, even though you feel so easily comfortable with him already. 

But that just makes you want to protect this thing you’ve got with him from prying eyes even more, because you’ve never had anything quite like it. It’s safe but electric, surprises you yet comforts you. It’s never the same, but he always feels familiar to you for some reason. 

You think you could maybe love him. You just need time. And that means privacy, too. 

Keep reading

Yoongi As Your Boyfriend

so this was requested. also, yoongs would be a great boyfriend, getting that out of the way. also, my friend’s bias is yoongi. get wrecked bish.

request: Can you plz do yoongi as a bf?? ..ur writing is just so good and literally wow god bless👌❤️❤️ 

also, thank you for the compliment ^^ i’m trying my best

here’s my masterlist, and requests are open~

Originally posted by meanyoongis

  • he’s perfect bless him
  • if he’s your boyfriend then you won at life
  • like no joke at all
  • you slayed existence
  • hmm, i don’t think this gramps would be able to strike a conversation with a stranger, so, uh, let’s say you are a friend of the boys but like, not super close with yoongs k
  • he’s the guy who would admire from distance, he doesn’t take initiative, and he’s kind of content with the relationship he has with you
  • ok not really
  • “namjoon, set me up with them” “what? why?” “because i said so”
  • he isn’t as smooth but he gets the message across lmao
  • hmm, i imagine you’d go to a music shop with namjoon and yoongi tags along and suddenly where’s namjoon
  • but it’s okay, you got yoongi with you
  • tbh he seems pretty cold and intimidating
  • but you ask him about some album or artist and his eyes literally light up and he starts rambling and he got this cute lil smile on his lips the whole time and he’s gesticulating and you’ve never seen someone be so excited over talking
  • and by the time you guys are over with talking about music, the shop needs to close so you get evacuated really smoothly but you don’t even realize, you’re still talking
  • you even forgot about namjoon, poor guy he’s 10 feet behind you guys, patting himself on the shoulder bc “great job nams”

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2

 HARRY STYLES is hurtling towards chart domination in the UK and US this week with his critically acclaimed debut album.

But as he emerges to greet me — dressed head to toe in black — from the back of a trailer parked behind the venue of his first ever solo show in North London, it’s clear he is in a reflective mood.
Security have just ordered us not to move more than two metres from the modest caravan — where his band members are chilling after sound check — to avoid the ­hundreds of fans gathered nearby.

It’s for their own safety, of course. Who knows the reaction if they knew just a fence and four guards stand between them and the new prince of rock ’n’ roll?

The ONE DIRECTION superstar shrugs it off — this level of hysteria has become a commonplace part of his day-to-day life.

My first interview with the band, in the X Factor canteen seven years ago, took place as a number of teenage girls were climbing on the roof.It was a sign of things to come.This is the first time I have seen Harry since 1D went on an ­indefinite break at the end of 2015 and there’s a lot to talk about.

While the 23-year-old is famously guard­ed about his ­personal life, he reveals that ­writing his own music let him reflect on how his life was turned up­side down by being part of 1D.

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bunnybubkook  asked:

Could you please do #31 with a Jungkook tattooist au? Jungkook and tattoos is literally the death of me.

hello! it’s finally here and i hope you like it! thanks so much for requesting! 

31. “I’m trying to flirt with you.” 

WORD COUNT: 1,643

Originally posted by nnochu

Keep reading

whiplash | 01

Originally posted by dazzlingkai

↳ fake dating au | college au

pairing: chanyeol | reader

genre: soft angst + fluff + sexual themes

word count: 8.059

description: as an aspiring big-shot photographer in a slump, you’re looking for something that inspires you and unfortunately — or maybe not — it comes in the form of a guy named Chanyeol.

part 1 | part 2


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Hopeless Romantic - Dylan O’Brien

Author: @mf-despair-queen

Characters: Dylan O’Brien/Reader

Word Count: 5513

Warnings: Extreme loads of Fluff

Notes: This took…longer than I expect (I also got distracted playing Persona and staring at Stuart while writing it). Its just…extremely cute really and something I can totally see Dylan doing because he’s a fucking sweetie and I love him.

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