a good name shines in the dark

“You know, they’re burning me in Mexico right now,” Judas tells Lucifer one day. Xe’s drunk as fuck and so is Lucifer, the both of them unwound and limp on Judas’ couch, their feet haloed by empty Corona cans. Luce is an inch from sleep, but xe forces xer eyes open, slides xer glance over to meet Judas’s half-lidded gaze.

Luce snorts softly. “Happy Holy Saturday, motherfucker,” xe slurs. Judas doesn’t respond. “Could be worse, anyway. Could be burning in hell instead. If there actually was fire and brimstone there.” Xe sneaks a glance at Judas. “I could always set that shit up for ya, if you really want.”

Judas huffs, shakes his head. Then, “They make me ugly as possible, stuff me with candy, blow me up with firecrackers.” He drops his beer accidentally. It plinks onto the mound of cans at his ankles. He stares at it, bursts out laughing hysterically. Lucifer rolls xer eyes.

“Pull yourself together, shithead. You’re not the only one with a bad rap.” Xe reaches down and plucks the Corona up, setting it right. “We’re not in Mexico, so stop fucking whining.”

“No, instead we’re in the wonderful fucking nation of Sweden,” Judas slurs, spreading his arms wide, “where no one makes hideous effigies of me and sets them on fire.” He pauses, closes his eyes. “Belize, Chile, El Salvador, Hong Kong, Zambia. Xe told the whole fuckin world I betrayed xem.”

“I didn’t do shit,” Judas says. He snorts, sinks back into the couch, eyes half open. “Didn’t do shit,” he whispers.

Lucifer grabs a pillow, slams it into Judas’ face, and Judas yells in confusion, falling off the couch. “What the fuck?,” he shrieks.

“Shut up,” Lucifer grunts, “whiny little bitch.”

Judas’ eyes narrow into pinches. He struggles to his feet, barely able to stand, but he jabs his finger in Lucifer’s face anyway. “You can’t tell me,” his voice almost liquid with drunken rage, “that after God kicked you outta heaven, you didn’t sit around crying for months. Years, probably. Whining to every little angel you saw. No wonder why half of them left you.” He spits, unaware of Luce’s darkening face, barrels on. “Yeah, you probably bawled yourself to sleep at night too.” Then inspiration hits, and he straightens up one last time, a greasy smile curving across his face. “Probably fucked yourself to sleep moaning xer name, imagining xem touching your -”

And then Lucifer is up and ramming his body into Judas, and they’re on the floor, fists in hair and jaws and knees swinging and voices roaring, the beer cans crunching wildly beneath them. Lucifer’s hands are around Judas’ neck, squeezing, squeezing, and then suddenly: release.

Luce heaves himself off Judas, wiping a long smear of blood from his nose. The man lies spread-eagled on the floor, breathless and clutching his throat. The Coronas stop crunching.

“Fuck you,” Judas wheezes, “fuck you, fuck-” He lapses into silence, and Lucifer disappears into the kitchen. Footsteps, then the steady shhhh of water running, then the distant crk of a towel being torn from its seams. He rolls over, staring at the dust underneath the sofa, swipes a tear from his cheek angrily.

Judas doesn’t hear xem come back, but when xe speaks, xer voice is soft, but tipped. “I’m sorry.”

—  Excerpt of betrayal, the Easter piece I was supposed to finish by now, Kira Tang; part of the Pray to Me Instead universe
Forbidden Forest

Gintoki walked with a hand casually wrapped around Hijikata’s bicep – it was just so they wouldn’t get separated and also to give Hijikata some comfort, that was all, Gintoki was a good friend like that. Dead grass and twigs crunched beneath their feet and he wished that he was the one holding the lantern so he could shine the light on every little noise he heard. He had his wand out and the tip was lit, but the lantern cast a larger range of light.

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things that R comforting 2 me:

-cartons of strawberries
-running warm water over my hands
-sitting in the spots of sun that shine thru the windows
-running my hands over the peach fuzz on cheeks
-soft blankets
-whispering
-hand squeezes
-those flowers that look like pansies but feel like thick velvet that I don’t know the name of
-kisses on the forehead
-the color blue (dark dark blue)
-the smell of Old Old Old stuffed animals
-touching moss

the dark witch beckons

friend of mine
welcomed a new soul into his life a long time back

at first, things were good
but soon they weren’t

because some souls appear to be lit bright at first
yet it’s an illusion, smoke and mirrors
not unlike a black hole

and now bits and pieces float off into the vast
as he tries to do the right thing
tries to think positive
tries to hang on, in the name of love
but the dark pull keeps on coming

she doesn’t shine much anymore
no, withdraws and withholds
as punishment for his wrongs

but he’s always searching for the light
not unlike a shipwrecked sailor stranded on an island
to see a silver lining, a glimmer of hope
finding none
but staying put

for the dark witch beckons

But I have only just now found happiness in his soul, after years of searching for where it might hide, and yet I still don’t understand why, after all this time and the sadness you saw in me, you can’t let me be happy. I had always thought I was never supposed to, and I was meant to take all the sadness from the world and keep it in me, and every night when I was up thinking about the perpetual darkness, you told me, one day, I will have my time to shine, and silence the world with my contentedness…but now that that time has come, and I have found a way to silence these demons inside of me with the whisper of his name, you seem to still, and bring yourself to a lull, and it makes me wonder if maybe you were one of my external demons, and maybe it’s a good thing that you are quiet and subdued, and maybe you were never actually trying to make me feel better…

Maybe you were fueling my sadness, I just never saw through your disguise…

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New Chapter
Smoldered by the flames dreams crash and burn
Gold are in the ashes you will learn
Just as you thought all good things come to an end
That’s when the new chapter just began
We have rambled through the thick and thin
What is marching brave beneath our skin
Be prepared for the roller coaster ride
Fret no my love
I’ll be by your side

Your life is a vast and glowing empty page
Do anything you want
Laughters and the tears
You never should be idle with despair
I’m the glimpse of light
Which the darkness fears

You’re the glare that’s shining in the dark
Your name is gonna be tattooed in our hearts
Nothing is gonna change you for who you are
I love you my dear
Frustrated superstar

Your life is a vast and glowing empty page
Do anything you want
Laughters and the tears
You never should be idle with despair
I’m the glimpse of light
Which the darkness fears

I remember those good times
As well as the bad ones
Take one step at a time
You are larger than life
Time and after time
Weave the threads of sunlight
One day you will see
You will shine

Your life is a vast and glowing empty page
I’m the glimpse of light