a good joke: i can photoshop

4

The Joker gets wak whacked

I was doing something better t but then Photoshop crashed on me, and I hadn’t saved anything at all, so you get this dumb thing instead

Felipe posted that picture of Valtteri with his cat on the instagram, and now I’m just imagining him browsing the internet for pictures of Valtteri, because he’s missing the time they were teammates and he didn’t have to carry the team all by himself.

Can my boy, Adam Driver, like get some sun? Whenever he finds the time? Some vitamin D. He too pale.

i.e here you have a well nourished, sun tanned, glossing skin adam driver:

Its for the common good.

anonymous asked:

What did you mean when you said you didn't flatten the images?

I draw using multiple layers on photoshop and flattening it merges all the visible layers into one layer. It’s good to do before you resize a drawing because sometimes layer styles don’t scale down with the rest of the image if you leave all the layers separate and it can look off. In the last post I decided it wasn’t too bad of a mistake and didn’t want to reopen all the files in PS to fix it for a silly joke but it’s something i just should’ve done in the first place. 乁(ツ)ㄏ

blaneity  asked:

hahaha so I was the one who asked for the brushes on anon and omfg you are amazing!! IT'S SO CUTE AND INFORMATIVE AT THE SAME TIME ARRHH THANK YOU!!! <333 I'm more of a traditional artist and my tablet drawings aren't doing me any justice!! D,: do you have any tips??? Like at all, I really love your art style and how great you are at SAI!! Anyway, thank you again yo!! You made my day :D (You can answer privately or post this I don't mind either!!)

oh my goodness this is such a late reply!! i’m not used to getting questions about anything art related (aside from the “how do you art” joke questions) so i didn’t really know what to say for the longest time. but! i will do my best to share some things that i personally have learned! keep in mind, i’m not a professional, so some tips can be kinda bad but i try my best!!

these will be for sai, as that is what i primarily use. if anyone wants me to give tips for other programs (firealpaca, or photoshop, i don’t use any others! sorry!) then feel free to ask me anything!

alright, let’s get on with it, shall we?

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anonymous asked:

You always pretend to be so nice but I can tell you're just a snake. You're so full of yourself, thinking that you're better than everyone else just because you can colour some gifs and make a few messy edits. You rub it in our faces that you're more 'creative' than the rest of us just because you can turn grey into pink or white into green and it's so pathetic. It's also pathetic that all your 'friends' praise your gifs. You're ego is already so big, it doesn't been to be stroked even more.

Okay, I really wanted to just let this slide by replying with some ‘I don’t actually care bants’ but no, not this time. Getting a single rude anon doesn’t phase me but getting relentless anon hate that is just the same old boring bullshit is not just extremely petty but also fucking stupid.

What do you hope to gain from sending me this? What’s your endgame? Do you want me to leave this hellsite? Cry myself to sleep because of mean strangers on the internet? Or do you hope to push my buttons until you go too far? I don’t know if you’re the same person or multiple people and I don’t know how old you are but seriously grow up. If anything, getting this hate makes me want to keep making my gifs out of sheer spite because i’m a grown adult and I can do what I want.

Since several topics you brought up in your ask have been prevalent in previous bouts of anon hate, I feel like it is time to address some misconceptions you have about me, this blog, and my interactions within the phandom.

Firstly, in no way whatsoever do I consider myself to be ‘better than everyone else’. This may come as a shock to you but I actually don’t give a single flying fuck about how good I am in comparison to others. That may have been me several years ago but adulthood soon taught me that comparing yourself and putting yourself on a pedestal was the quickest way to failure. The phandom is full of exceptionally talented people who can do beautiful things with photoshop that are far beyond my abilities. I in no way think I am better than them just because my colouring style is extra.

Secondly, I’d like to address how you linked this ask with earlier anon hate by bringing up ‘creativity’. Clearly, the joke went way over your head. I’d say sorry for offending you but you don’t deserve my apologies over something that was such a small a joke. Everyone on tumblr who creates literally anything is creative. I didn’t specifically say that I thought I was more creative than other people just because my gifs aren’t coloured more naturally. Thanks for once again making a mountain out of a molehill with yet another out of context discourse.

Thirdly, I don’t force my friends, mutuals and followers to send me asks telling me that they like my stuff. What do you think I do? Force them to protect me whenever a scary anonymous message enters my inbox? You must have a really twisted opinion about me/any one who receives nice messages. They do it because they want to, because unlike you, they don’t find pleasure in ridiculing strangers.

It’s actually kinda sad that as soon as I turn anon messages back on, I get your toxic inboxes because you ruin it for everyone. I don’t particularly understand how I could have gained such an onslaught of hate after spending just over two months in the tumblr phandom, and I don’t particularly see why someone would gain pleasure in bullying anyone over the internet. 

You can hate on me as much as you like but that will never stop me from being a creator within the phandom.

anonymous asked:

I can't believe Liam is giving ziam shippers the opportunity to make a better manip than the z*gi team of photoshopers yolanda is probably paying thousands of dollars can ever do lol all jokes aside he looks so good!

Right?? Did Zayn give him a tip on how to grow his lashes to rival his cuz omg! They’re looking amazing like the rest of him.

Listen, Liam is the slyest hoe out there! People don’t give him enough credit. He’s over there playing chess while the fandom is stuck playing checkers ffs!

He knows when we’re in dire need of a palate cleanser after what is arguably Team Zigi’s worst photoshop disaster ever with that half-assed attempt. 

So come on, fandom photoshop virtuosos, show Yolanda how it’s done and gimme another epic Ziam manip stat!

It’s amazing the things we’ll do to a woman,
to sell a product.
We whittle women down
to fit on the covers of magazines.
We lighten their skin and plump their lips,
Piece women together like mosaics and call it art.

If I learned anything from the media,
it’s that my body is wrong
and I’m probably not pleasing the man in my life.
I learned two wrongs don’t make a right,
but, apparently, three nos make a yes.
That it’s sweet and romantic to pester a girl
until she agrees to go out with you.
It’s no wonder so many boys view rejection
as negotiation,
when we teach them the key to true love
is bargaining past lack of consent
and kissing girls who do not want to be kissed—
So when boys turn touch into weapons,
girls are taught to expect it.

No, if I learned anything from the media,
it’s that my sexuality only exists on a man’s terms:
that I can be sexy on the covers of magazines,
but only if I’m ashamed of it.
Because everything always boils down to either
too much or not enough.
I must be available:
Shameful and repentant.
Because we seem to think that once a woman opens her legs,
she doesn’t get to close them.
Because if a woman likes sex
then she’ll like it with YOU.
And if she doesn’t,
she’s a whore, a bitch, and a liar:
All the things the television has been saying
since long before you ever touched her.

What I learned,
being a woman,
is that I made to be touched,
just not by myself.
Is that I am meant to be virginal,
but know how to get a guy off.
That if I am not absolutely perfect,
then I am not worthy of love,
and should be content for scraps
from love’s table.

What I learned, being a woman,
is that inevitably, the men in my life are going
to say
Something.
They will have all the right intentions.
They will have no idea what they’ve done.
And it will feel like true betrayal.
Because the stranger on the street
can scream as much filth at me as he wants,
and it will never hurt as bad
as the casual rape joke.
As the unthinking sexist pun
from the mouth of someone who I thought
knew better.
From the mouth of someone I love.

What I learned from the media
is there is no such thing as good enough.
That the wacky, loveable side-kick
always gets the beautiful girl, but
girls who look like me
don’t get anyone.
We are killing ourselves
over the photoshopped lies
they sell us in Cosmo.
I’m not even angry, anymore.
I’m exhausted.
Because they went and put a price tag
on all things beautiful, and now
they’re trying to sell us back
ourselves.
And the joke?
Is that they don’t even think we’re worth
the price of the ink it takes
to remake us.
And they’re not even subtle about it.

—  WHAT MEDIA MAKES US by Ashe Vernon
Carmilla Zero - Recap Two

Alrighty! This week on The Annie Briggs Show Carmilla Zero, let’s see how many words for period Ellen can jam in here, eh? :D

We pick up pretty much where the last episode left us - Carm needs a body to blame and they’re still trying to prove they didn’t do it. Mel’s fine with the blood faucet being shut off because it’s one less worry.

Oh honey, you just wait.

Perry isn’t down with the weird though (hmm..that sounds…familiar…) and wants to know what the fuck is going on.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Meanwhile Carmilla is sizing up what weapons to use when the hour runs out and she gets to gutting.

Nice reference. And yeah apparently it’s not just frosh in a Dead Red Zone - it’s a bunch of people. Perry gives a quick recap on what’s not going down down under and still wants to know why. (Perry…wanting to know..not liking things that aren’t normal….where have I heard that before).

Before we can really get into that, Kirsch starts bellowing up from the mancave he’s locked in and Carm reminds them that time’s a-tickin’ and to get with the solving. Perry says it’s magic, but what kind? Mel, a disbeliever, says that she’d be the one to friggin’ know

Your Whedon influence is showing.

Ok yeah Perry seems like she’d know what’s up since she looks like a less-lethal chick from The Craft. Buuuuuut

“Bunch of wannablessedbes. You know, nowadays every girl with a henna tattoo and a spice rack thinks she’s a sister to the dark ones.“ Yeah “Perry probably ain’t the real deal” is likely Mel’s train of thought right now.

OH DUDE. BUT THEY WILL FIND THEIR WAY TO YOU.

Carmilla “I Do Not Know What Subtlety Means” Karnstein, folks.
(The rest and ep4 are under the cut).

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