a gentleman's world

fourth of july: fahc edition

(bc i’m slightly tipsy and there’s already ppl shooting fireworks outside)
(under a read more bc i have no control  and must be stopped)

jack

  • wears bright red lipstick and blue eyeshadow bc she’s feelin p a t r i o ti c
  • is in charge of the food
  • her apron says “quit bitchin’ in my kitchen”
  • actually the kitchen is strictly off-limits while she’s cooking get the fuck outta here
  • seriously one time she threw a knife at ryan’s head when he tried to grab a potato chip
  • goes all out for the fourth of july y’all. we’re talking buttery corn on the cob, fresh guac, fried green tomatoes, salted watermelon, mac n cheese, apple pie mmmmMMMMM
  • follows an old patillo family recipe to make the best goddamn potato salad this side of the mississippi river holy shit like,,, it’s so fucking good god bless the patillos
  • uses a secret ingredient in her potato salad that she’ll take to her grave don’t even bother asking buddy she’ll laugh in your face
  • (jeremy thinks it’s white wine)
  • (gavin thinks its cocaine)

geoff

  • wears leather sandals and american flag-printed board shorts why geoffrey why
  • is in charge of drinks
  • obviously
  • imports single malt whisky straight from scotland
  • then steals 2 dozen crates of bud light from the 24/7 supermarket down the street
  • geoff there’s literally only 15 people at this party do you really need 10 bottles of tequila
  • likes making mixed drinks for people who didn’t order them
  • his “signature drink” is called The Firecracker™
  • everyone’s pretty sure it’s just fireball and actual gasoline
  • always ends up ranting about how fucked up the american founding fathers were
  • “guys thomas jefferson was such a dick i fucking hate that dude”
  • “we know geoff”

ryan

  • shifts into Ultimate Dad Mode™ on the fourth of july bless his heart
  • unironically wears USA t-shirts from old navy and a backwards baseball cap
  • it makes him look * c o o l *
  • is in charge of the grill
  • looks way too comfortable using a meat cleaver and a butcher knife
  • ryan that’s just *beef* in those burgers right?
  • has an AK-47 strapped to his back just in case they come
  • “just in case who comes?”
  • “they”
  • likes to sing 80’s rock music while grilling 
  • there’s a video of him belting jessie’s girl into his spatula
  • ryan is not aware of this video
  • it’s saved on jack’s laptop (encrypted and password protected)

jeremy

  • is in charge of the music
  • turns into the biggest Dudebro™ on the fourth
  • yells ‘merica before doing anything
  • uses red white n blue spray-on hair color and completely fucks up the bathroom sink with it
  • his playlist is called “'freedom muthafukaaaas”
  • songs include: bruce springsteen’s “born to run”, warrant’s “cherry pie”, ELO’s “mr. blue sky” and abba’s “dancing queen”
  • insists on being called DJ rimmy tim for the whole day
  • keeps trying to get people to play pool volleyball with him
  • drinks anything geoff puts in front of him
  • he and jack end up trying to parachute from the cargobob into the pool
  • “jerEMY NO”

michael

  • is in charge of the fireworks
  • doesn’t buy fireworks tho are you kidding me fuck that this isn’t amateur hour sON
  • spends all of april/may developing homemade fireworks with trevor and matt
  • has almost lost multiple fingers while testing their creations
  • also nearly blinded himself while trying to modify a bottle rocket
  • tbh this is the most dangerous thing he does all year and he’s a Professional Criminal for a living
  • created a firework that explodes in bright red brocades and makes the air smell like roses
  • he calls it “the lindsay”
  • every year there’s an illegal massive fireworks show on mt. haan that gets set up anonymously and is electronically detonated
  • everyone knows its the fakes but literally every person in town comes out to watch it and it’s basically a los santos tradition so the LSPD are like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 
  • they get a tupperware of potato salad for their troubles
  • (it’s the best goddamn potato salad they’ve ever had)

gavin

  • likes to remind everyone that’s he’s british and that he’s offended by their patriotism
  • “congrats on your bad healthcare and shite chocolate”
  • paints a lil british flag on his cheek bc fuck u guys
  • but then #brexit rip
  • has the most insane shit delivered to the penthouse for Funsies™
  • last year it was a massive bouncy castle that blocked off the whole street
  • the year before he brought five thousand water ballons filled with ice, blood, flour, and some weird goo he somehow smuggled in from china
  • jeremy almost had to go to the hospital
  • geoff was not a fan
  • literally no one has a clue what gavin has planned for this year and they’re not sure if they should be terrified or excited
  • (it’s actually a lads vs gents nerf battle with tranquilizer-loaded darts)
  • (geoff will not be a fan)

the fakes

  • just bc it’s a national holiday doesn’t mean they’re not heisting
  • jack wears his gaudiest hawaiian print
  • ryan switches his black face paint for blue (sometimes he’ll even add stars)
  • the lads load up on homemade grenades and bombs that sparkle and whizz as they detonate
  • they hit every major bank and big business within the city limits as the los santos sky explodes with color
  • on july 5th, planned parenthood, greenpeace, the national immigration law center, the trevor project, the ACLU and countless other NGOs get their annual summer donation - always impressive, always anonymous
  • bc the fakes know that they’re country is no longer truly the land of the free
  • and they may be criminals but goddamnit they’ll do their best to fix it
  • bc who better than america’s most wanted can give america what it needs the most?

i decided to make a little thing for pride month!! it was something i wanted to draw since i don’t even know, so there it is: little fusions with pjo/hoo characters!

JERCY (jason and percy):

- gorgeous ace boy

- such an amazing leader. he’s very persistent and  most of the time work with fun to make his point. life’s boring, but he doesn’t need to be

- king of hot&cute face



PIPABETH (piper and annabeth):

- bi queen

- she’s the leader of everything. get out of her way. seriously

- “please kill me softly”


NANK (nico and frank):

- very gay

- he’s so polite. literally the biggest gentleman in the world

- doesn’t talk much, but if you need him, he’ll be there for you. anytime



LEYNA/REO (reyna and leo):

- handsome trans boy

- no one beats him at anything. it doesn’t matter what you’re playing, you will lose

- the world is his. bow down, please



HACHEL (hazel and rachel):

- pan-cutie

- art!! queen of drawings

- small and sweet, but will never tolerate any of your shit



i LOVE this. actually wanted to do more with another characters like will, grover, clarisse, etc.

5

#cat talking in nothing but water metaphors #wearing all blue #telling kara to dive in #via speech that sounds like a giant ‘embrace your sexuality’ allegory #… #listen i don’t make the rules

June’s ‘Make it out Alive!’ box arrived with not one but two books!

🗺Next month’s box is ‘Wanderlust’ [the book is described with: high stakes adventure, diversity of all kinds, laugh out loud moments, an adorable romance, all the feels, and a truly epic road trip journey]