a gentle caress of the inner thigh

Sex with Queenie would include...

A/N: Before I start I would like to say this isnt a man and woman, its woman and woman. I can’t really write in a man’s pov lmao so sorry for all the people reading this suddenly bumped out its gay but if you are here cause its gay welcome you sinner and I hope you enjoy (also you should expect Queenie x fem!reader cause like thats all that ive done)


  • Queenie talking sweet things to you on how much she loves you, how beautiful you are, how you mean the world to her.
  • She is very much a handsy girl, she really likes to touch your stomach, caress your cheek, kiss your inner thighs, etc.
  • The whole “marking as mine” thing she only does when she is really into it.
  • She was nervous at first because both of you have never had sex with another woman but you found comfort in each other
  • First time was gentle and beautiful and you wouldn’t trade it for the world.
  • She doesn’t cuss much, just a lot of breathy gasps or quiet moans which makes you smile.
  • She acts innocent but y’all would be WRONG 
  • the second or third time around she knows every good spot and she knows exactly what your thinking
  • sometimes she doesn’t read your mind because she wants it to be a shock value for the both of you
  • she told you that once and you thought she was kidding
  • she wasnt
  • Kisses all the way down to your thigh because she loves the way you shake with pleasure
  • she likes to taste all of you, whether that would be north or south if you know what I mean
  • she loves being tangled around you and impossibly close to you
  • Even while you are on your high she still whispers beautiful things to you about how beautiful you are like this. How good you made her feel, how lovely your body is
  • When you wake up, you can still find her wrapped around you cradling you

um so this was more fluff than I expected but this would probably happen ngl

I apoligize for any spelling/grammar mistakes

a gentle caress of the inner thigh

You are the last one. You haven’t seen another human being alive for weeks. Plenty dead ones though. Their skin clammy and pale, their eyes staring at you blankly. Some have ghastly holes in their chests, like someone made them swallow a grenade. Others have neat, meaty holes popped straight through their skulls. There are hanging bodies. There are bodies slumped against walls and containers with blood splatters behind them and holes in the back of their heads, guns laying nearby.

Death came indiscriminately to them all. There are dead men, dead women, dead boys and dead girls. Old, young, middle-aged, armed, unarmed, disabled, mentally ill, kind souls, wicked hearts.

Occasionally, the wind blasts through the empty halls of the colony buildings. Sometimes you hear echoing clanks, metal creaking under atmospheric pressures. Power is low, everywhere. Only the basic air conditioning seems to be fully functioning. You never know when your fresh water will run out, or when the various food storage units will fail and all your food will become inedible with rot. Outside the colony’s waning climate control awaits death under freezing temperatures, skin-ripping winds and low oxygen.

You could walk outside. You could try to get as far away from this place as you could. If you were suicidal. And sometimes you are. Sometimes you think about it. You could’ve picked up a gun from any of the bodies that ended their lives with it, and put it in your mouth just like they did. Only the transmission you managed to send out keeps you going. Only the distant dream of rescue.

You are careful as you sneak around the halls. With all the humans dead but yourself, activity in the colony has come to a total standstill. When you see something move, you freeze, and inspect it. It’s usually a flickering light or a piece of paper or fabric, blown by an errant gust through a vent.

You’ve seen their shadows many times, and always managed to hide… but you’ve only seen the creatures one time. You saw their black back, their lengthy serpentine tail flicking as they bit through the skull of your roommate.

You are always on the move, always 100% alert for the hissing noises they make or the sounds of their claws scratching on the insulated metals of the colony interior. Hunger rakes your belly, always– there is never enough food to sustain you for long. You’re always looking for more. Your clothes are long-gone– you scrapped them when they got so soiled and caked with filth that you worried the creatures would smell you. Now you wear a ragged tarp that serves as your bedding, and carry a shoulder bag with almost nothing in it but a picture of your family.

One night you go out hunting for dinner, and you see an administrative office– someplace you weren’t authorized to be before. But with everyone else dead, your curiosity gets the better of you. You enter and make sure you’re alone before inspecting the office’s files, the computers and the paperwork. You come across a confidential letter from the Company, containing information that makes you feel as though your blood is boiling over and freezing at the same time.

You read it and discover that the creatures are to be protected for Company research and are commonly known as Xenomorphs. Your entire colony was considered expendable and the head administrator is probably now sitting in a warm suite, well-fed and unimaginably rich while the Company sends in its combat teams to contain the creatures and capture specimens for research.

You shudder with rage. You shiver with cold. You quake with fear when you hear a soft whisper in your ear, almost like a lover teasing you.

When you turn around to face your death, you see it in such clarity. You see the lanky, skeletal black body, glistening with chitin. You see the long tubular head with no visible eyes. You are so close to the creature you can make out what looks to be a human skull, just under the carapace plating where its eyes should sit above the drooling lips and the gleaming silvery teeth.

It reaches for you slowly. You both know you aren’t about to escape. You both know that soon you, the human, will cease. Its horrible, cold, inhumanly long fingers grip your shoulders and push you down with inexorable force. The creature almost seems like it wants to toy with you– the smaller mouth, like a tongue, steadily extends your way when you expected it to have already slammed through your cranium.

If it isn’t killing you, then it has other plans. Your finishing wound won’t be a cleanly scooped hole in your forehead, it will be a ragged crater in front of you, surrounded by your snapped ribs. You’ve definitely seen what causes those wounds.

You reconcile yourself with your death. You sigh as if weary of the whole business and just wishing it over, willing the constant agonizing stress of survival to finally leave you. In a moment of what can only be described as adrenaline-infused insanity, you actually manage a smile, and you reach up as best you can with your right hand and stroke the creature’s thigh.

It has no visible genitals, or at least, none that you can identify. You don’t know what you were thinking. It hisses and the sound is as loud in your ears as a vessel lifting into orbit.

And then it leans down, and its face bumps into the side of your head. And it stays there, moving slightly. Gently.

The fucking thing is nuzzling you.

Your heart beats faster than a machine gun. Your breathing comes so shallow you might not even be living off oxygen anymore. You stroke its thigh again. It presses its huge, shiny black head into your face and nuzzles your neck. You hear it hiss again and it’s quieter this time. It sounds pleased. You weren’t aware these creatures could feel any emotion but murder.

Your life has become surreal. Would the others have thought to try being affectionate with these creatures? Would they have saved their lives if they hadn’t tried to fight back? Are you already dead and your brain has yet to shut itself down as the final electrical currents snap across your synapses?

You reach up and give the alien a pat on the head, then rub your hand up and down its head and neck. Its skull and skin have absolutely no give, no softness about them. It’s smooth and almost feels like plastic or metal piping that’s been painted with gloss. It is lowering its body onto you. It is no longer gripping you tightly, but holding you gently and with as much softness as it can muster. It’s almost embracing you– no, it is definitely embracing you.

This moment stretches into eternity. You know you are already dead. You have seen these creatures do nothing but kill. You read, on the document provided by the Company, that their first instinct is to gather hosts to expand their hive, and kill any threats to their existence, and that is the extent of their behavior. And that document corresponded with every single experience you and the other colonists have had with the aliens.

So why the fuck, you want so desperately to scream, is this one CUDDLING with you.

“… can you understand me?” you whimper, your voice broken and scratched from not being used in so long. You almost jump at the sound of it.

Behind you, in the entrance to the room, you hear the thump of shell-on-metal and you twist your head back just slightly. There are now three Xenomorphs in the room with you and you are absolutely dead.

The anomaly pressing its body against you raises up and hisses loudly at the two intruders, screeching when they step forward. They hiss back and screech and this exchange goes on for a few minutes before the first one stands up, grabs you in its arms and picks you up.

Its strength is immense. For such slender, insectile creatures, they defy the rules of mass and physics, clinging to surfaces that shouldn’t even support their weight and moving obstacles that would stymie a 300-pound bodybuilder in peak condition. It carries you like a bride, through the room, past its comrades. It bares its metallic teeth at them as they step back in what can only be disdain or amazement.

You see the colony through the same dead eyes that stare back at you from every corpse you’ve come across. You see all your hiding spots. You see rooms you’ve slept in and dead friends and coworkers. You only feel its hard limbs under your body and the steady, rhythmic gait of its legs as it carries you away.

Occasionally it bends its head and presses its face into your chest, your neck and most commonly your abdomen. Not one time does the alien holding you make a hostile, threatening move. Each second you expect to feel it throw you down, slam you against a hard surface, shatter your skull with its inner jaws, or split you wide open with its tail or claws.

It never does. You actually start to doze. If you’re going to die, at least you’ll die well-rested. It keeps cuddling with you as it carries you. Your mind, your internal thoughts, all seem to have crashed like a computer. Nothing makes sense anymore.

You lose track of how long it carries you and you even forget where you are. The lights are flickering, then dimmed and flickering, then buzzing with sparks, and then there are no lights besides auxiliary floor bulbs for guidance, and your eyes adjust to the dark underground bowels of the colony. Basements and storage chambers and warehouses full of equipment you never needed.

You end up in a warm, humming room. Before you and your alien captor, you see another Xenomorph, five times the size of the rest. Its head, you immediately notice, is not tubular like the smaller aliens. It’s flatter, flared and carved with ridges and spikes… it resembles a fancy, regal shield… or a crown. Behind this gigantic alien you see something equally huge, a bulbous fat tube the color of a stale sausage. Where it terminates, a brownish blob slides out of the nozzle-like tip.

All around you are the oval-shaped, chair-sized brown pouches that can only be the eggs. And you know exactly what comes from within.

You can see one of the spidery, larval creatures now, lying on its back in front of a woman who was pinned to a wall with some sort of slippery-looking resin, or webbing. It’s clearly dead, and so is she. And soon one of the facial spiders will be coming for you as well. You know this. Whatever intentions this oddly affectionate alien had…

You hear it growling and hissing at the larger alien. The bigger one hisses back and its voice is as big as its body. They both fall silent.

The fear only left you for a few moments before, and now it returns to stab its chilling claws into your back, as the alien that brought you here carries you forwards and sets you right in front of the vast presence that dominates the room.

Massive, steel-hard fingers curl around your entire body and lift you to the snarling face of the egg-layer. You almost feel… honored. Like they decided to bring you to their leader, since you managed to be the last human standing, and show you off as a prize.

Her presence hums at your brain. You can tell she’s female. It’s just something you feel (the fact that she’s laying eggs behind her helps you make that decision, but her close proximity somehow seems to confirm it). She opens her mouth and you can see her inner jaws extend your way. The mouth on the end is every bit as big as yours. The smaller set of teeth opens and closes, and then retracts.

She presses you close and you feel those inner jaws slide forwards and poke your lips. Her fingers squeeze you slightly; you can’t help but let out a terrified yelp and that’s all the opening she needs to press in further. That probing inner jaw slides into your mouth and parts your jaws around it firmly.

You are completely helpless. It plunges further in and somehow manages to bypass your gag reflex. You’re basically swallowing it now, except it remains attached to her, and it tastes of iron and mucus and you feel something round and smooth roll from it. The round lump slips from her jaw and makes your throat bulge as it rolls down. You feel it plop into your stomach like a rock.

And then she sets you back down. You collapse. You are stunned and overwhelmed by sensations. The alien from before, the affectionate one, rushes to your side and lifts you up again. It makes a noise– a growl? No… more like a purring. A purr that comes from a giant black serpentine insectoid extra-terrestrial, but… a purr.

And it lays a hand on your abdomen, which is… throbbing.

The egg-layer… the mother. The mother alien emits a shrieking call, and you see two smaller aliens scamber off into the colony. She looks down at you and your… lover? Captor? Killer by proxy? Which is which anymore?

You can’t tell if these creatures smile. You can’t tell if they feel anything but killer instinct. At least, you couldn’t before. And you still can’t tell what those ghoulish grinning teeth actually signify. But in your fugue state of “why am I not dead right now this is so fucked up,” you want to believe that she’s smiling at you, and so is the alien cuddling with you, and so are the two that return eventually with some packets of rations and a hard-rubber canteen filled with warm, but drinkable water.

Your snuggler continues to nuzzle you and devotes an awful amount of attention to your stomach, which is still throbbing and feels warm. You eat some bland rations and guzzle the water. Did they find it somewhere on their own? Did she know where it was? Are they intelligent enough to know how to operate human machinery…? Does it even matter! You are fed and you have water to drink and for some unfathomable reason, you are sitting amongst an unknown amount of vicious alien creatures that killed off every other colonist but you. And you are still alive.

That’s when the throbbing intensifies in your gut and your snuggler hisses in what you imagine to be delight, as you undergo a full-body spasm that electrifies your brain. It’s not a seizure, it’s too short to be a seizure. It leaves you dazed. When you become aware again, you inspect yourself and the reason for the throbbing in your belly becomes rather obvious, as if it weren’t before.

You have lost a lot of weight since the attack. You’ve gone hungry more than once and you’ve been incredibly mobile, so your musculature has adapted and where you once had a flat, soft layer of padding on your middle, you now have a lean set of just-visible abdominals that show themselves when you flex.

Or at least, you did before your little twitch attack.

Now you have a smooth, firm bulge sitting in front of you. The alien places its hand on that rounded bump and rubs you tenderly. You feel feverish and nauseated. You feel another small wave of muscle spasms wash over you, but this time you don’t lose your cognizance and you are able to watch your belly gain about an inch in diameter. You see yourself inflate and are unable to stop the quavering whimper that jumps out of your mouth.

The hard, smooth head of the alien bumps into the side of your face. It lifts you up again and sets you down on a pile of brown. You look around you and you see that you’re laying on top of tens upon tens of discarded, empty egg shells. They’re soft and leathery, almost like cushions.

You notice this, you take in these details and feel another twitch run through your body. It centers in your belly this time, a pulsating tingle, and this time you see yourself fill up bigger than the last time. You can feel the weight of it now. You can feel the roiling and the jittering creature inside you bumping against your innards.

When you sit up a little, you inflate a little bit more and you see a tiny bulge run across your skin. The pulses run through you. Your belly sits firmly in the wedge created by your body meeting your legs, and as much as you want to curl up and let exhaustion have its way with you, adrenaline and terror team up with the size and firmness of your impregnated abdomen to prevent this.

Like a lover, like a strong, virile young man wrapping his powerful arms around the growing baby in his woman’s belly, your snuggly alien moves in and sits behind you close enough for you to feel every inch of its ribbed torso. Its arms embrace you. Its hands clasp you. Its fingers trail your exposed skin, smooth and warm and tight, firm with the life swelling inside.

“Do you understand me?” you whisper to it. “Do you… was this all just a failure, to communicate?“

If the alien understands you, it gives no sign. It simply continues to love on you. Is it love if no other emotions exist to contradict it?

You moan when the pressure in your gut builds and you blow up even bigger. It feels like a gassy meal, which… makes a little sense, as it seems to be taking place solely in your digestive tract and at least one thing about this night follows a tiny bit of logic. Your belly is forcing you to lean back. It’s the size of a basketball now and twice as heavy. Every time you grow, each bloat looks almost comical, so rapid is the transformation. As if you simply swallowed a balloon, and the friendly alien behind you is secretly filling it with air when you’re not looking.

And every time you grow, the one behind you and any nearby and the mother herself seem to grin wider or hiss in appreciation.

You push up with your feet, pushing yourself further back into the alien’s bony bear-hug. The pressure has gotten intense enough to actually make you feel somewhat aroused. You can’t see your crotch. If you didn’t know better, you’d swear you were just a big, round belly with legs. The alien inside you is positively bouncing around your guts, sometimes hard enough to make audible thumps; if your snuggler wasn’t holding you, you might’ve fallen over from its raucous kicking.

Something changes. The pulsing and throbbing stops. The twitches cease. A warmth is starting to build inside you. Your alien hisses loudly at the mother; she hisses back and you feel yourself lifted again. The alien sets you on your feet and you find that while you can stand upright, the first step you take nearly sends you crashing forwards– you’re completely off-balance and top-heavy now. The skin over your gut is almost shiny in the dim glow of the floor bulbs.

Your alien hefts you upright and marches you awkwardly to stand in front of the mother.

This is where I die, you think. Any second now you expect to feel yourself splitting wide open like an overripe fruit and spilling everything inside you all over the floor in one last burst of agony.

Instead, you immediately feel like you’re about to puke, and you double over and vomit slick clear goop in a cascade. It wriggles up from your bowels– no, that’s the alien. It stretches your jaw wide and slides out of you easily, tickling your distended throat on the way up and hitting the ground running.

It looks like a little, flesh-toned, phallic-headed snake. The baby seems to sense that it’s in a safe place and curls up in front of the mother… in front of its mother, or in other words YOU.

Your alien lover actually gives you a squeeze. A full-on hug. You weren’t even aware that it… that it was capable of understanding what such a gesture meant, let alone freely giving one.

It lets you go and you stand facing it, staring up at the glistening black creature in amazement. Was the Company wrong about them? Are they not… what if… but could they… and if…

So many questions jumble your brain that you almost don’t see the long black fingers on either side of you, until they close around your entire body and lift you back up in front of the mother’s face again.

Burning Lust

I have you in my arms, holding you close to me, spooning beside the fireplace, rolled in tons of sheets. We are just chatting through the night, naked under warm blankets, holding against each other to keep us warm. The smell of your hair fill my nose, I see you gentle neck discovered and ready to take my kisses, my crotch is resting on your ass, ready to rock, and with all that ideas and envy flow through me, telling me to act. You feel my right hand caressing your shoulder, you feel my cock getting bigger, and you feel my heart on your back beating faster. As my lust for you grow the fire crackle louder and my hands get naughtier. I lay my mouth on your neck slowly kissing you and I slowly caress my way to your thighs. I firmly grab your legs, making you feel how strong my lust is as my cock grows bigger. I continue to kiss profusely your neck and to massage your inner thighs as you let your gentle moans join the crepitation of the fire. You ask for more, you want me to give you more and I just want to give it to you. I roll you on your back and I position myself between your legs. My cock is already hard, your pussy is already moist and our excitement is already controlling us and we can’t wait any longer. I slowly start to taste your cunt with my cock, rubbing your lips and clit with the head of my hardness, lubing my cock with your wetness. You sense my cock massaging your pussy and you hear my grunts get louder while I’m feeling you up. Your lips are being caress, my cock pass between and outside them, passing up and down. Your body languish as you bite your lips and lose yourself in my teasing, I’m gently circling around your clit, flicking and arousing your sensitive button with my warm cock. You feel my throbbing hardness teasing you and you feel the heat of the fire caressing your naked body. I stop your daydreaming and I quickly push my cock in you. You jolt of surprise and pleasure, you rise ready to sit, but I put my hands on your breast and lay you back down. I give you a kiss and I slowly retire my cock, you feel my long shaft passing through you and exiting you. You pass your arms around my neck asking for more and I give it to you, I give one hard and quick thrust, diving ball deep into you. You let out a cry of pleasure and I begin to fuck you more. My body against yours, skin to skin, you feel the heat of my body on top of you like you feel the fire beside us. The sound of our moans rumble with the noises of our bodies rubbing on the sheets. The heat breath on us, tucking us with a blazing feeling as I continue to fuck you. Your arms and legs around me, you cling to my body as I thrust my cock deep in you. My hard cock is feeling your warm pussy, my throbbing dick is filling your moist cunt, going deep in you, making you shudder under all the caresses and heat. I continue rocking my hips, my cock diving hard in you as our lips can’t stop kissing. You feel my cock caressing the insides of your pussy, massaging your walls, hitting you on all the good spots. You grab me more, your legs closing on my as they get more tense. You moan louder and my thrusts get harder, your nails dig into my skin and I ram in deeper, your breath is getting shorter and my rams get quicker. I continue to penetrate you until you are overflown with pleasure. My cock pushing in you deep while you squirm under me, while you moan and grunt, while you enjoy one final time all the sensations, the heat, the caresses, the kisses.  

the signs as cards against humanity cards
  • aries: The wrath of Vladimir Putin
  • taurus: Bacon that can feel pain
  • gemini: Sexy Siamese twins
  • cancer: Getting naked and watching nickelodeon
  • leo: The Worst Human Being Ever
  • virgo: A gentle caress of the inner thigh
  • libra: God
  • scorpio: My sex life
  • sagittarius: Tasteful sideboob
  • capricorn: Bitches
  • aquarius: Children on leashes
  • pisces: A mime having a stroke