a fat tribble

“The way they defeated the aliens in Star Trek Beyond is unrealistic!”

For your convenience, here is a list of some other ways Star Trek villains have been defeated:

  • By Kirk reciting the Declaration of Independence really passionately
  • Kirk literally fighting himself
  • Kirk fighting himself again (this time while Spock watched)
  • Fat tribbles eating the problem away
  • Dr. McCoy applying mortar to an acidic rock creature
  • Spock mind-melding with a probe
  • Literal whales
  • The power of love defeating V’ger
  • Spock killing Kirk instead of having sex (Kirk got better)
  • An omnipotent being got his ass grounded by his parents
  • By doing literally nothing and history happened the way it would have anyway (plus there was a cat who turned into a hot lady)
  • The crew dressed up in suits and threatened to shoot gangsters
  • Kirk explaining birth control to an overpopulated planet
  • By making children cry

So you see, Beyond is actually well within the Star Trek tradition of ridiculousness. 

I’m always so surprised whenever people say Hanzo and McCree have nothing in common. Let’s just consider: 

Both are former illegal arms dealers who left their respective families/organizations - Overwatch totally functioned as McCree’s  family - when they realized things had gone really bad. Both are currently wanderers trying to atone for their pasts. As Hanzo hints at in the Junkenstein brawl, they’re both goddamn walking talking anachronisms. In a meta sense they are partly based on two different versions of the same character. (Go google ‘Yojimbo and Fistful of Dollars’, please.)

What… what do you want from me.

Captain Archer Dad Joke #58. Another ter-ibble one for the road.

Captain Archer:  Phlox, I have an extremely important question about biology to ask you.

Phlox:  Fire away, Captain!

Archer:  Why are tribbles soft, fat and fuzzy.

Phlox: Because if they were small, thin, and spiky they would be T'Pol’s sense of humor.

Archer and phlox: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!

when i am in distress, a fat tribble comes to me, speaking words of wisdom: i’m like dropping hints that i’m starship enterprise. i’m riker and it is highly illogical