a el why

Some things that are making sense to me

1) Why Mon-El is so physically expressive/cuddly and was all over Kara as soon as they got together… apparently he’s always been like this even as a child but it was repeatedly rejected. 2) As @winelover1989 pointed out, his ability to repeatedly handle rejection and keep coming back to for more. I think he wanted so desperately to have his mother’s love and affection but constantly was pushed away. Even at the bar with his parents he wanted to believe that they truly loved and cared for him even though his brain was telling himself something different. When it comes to Kara, she’s brutally rejected him over and over again which capitalizes on his worst fears and insecurities. I honestly don’t know many men in real life who would keep coming back and trying to apologize and change the way that he does. I hope we’re done with that particular cycle of story because my heart can’t take much more of it. I’m not saying that he’s not wrong at times or that Kara shouldn’t have boundaries for his behavior towards her- she absolutely should, but she is, as he said, very hard on him, and given his past, it’s particularly painful to watch. 3) His need for security and reassurance, as I discussed extensively in regards to 2.14 and the I want you to wake up with me/stay here with me scene. He wants to know that “there is an us” and he’s desperately afraid of messing up what they have because he thinks he’s unlovable and always at fault. 4) How overwhelmed and happy Mon-El gets when Kara starts valuing him and loving him back and expressing it (not in those three words yet, but she loves him.) His face after “Maybe being Supergirl and having you is enough.” When he realizes she truly does think he’s incredible and recognizes how much he’s changed. When she goes after him because she can’t lose him… and says it wasn’t even an option not to. He knew she liked him but he didn’t know that he was so important to her that she would refuse to live without him and when he finds out that he is he can’t stop staring at her in awe because he’s NEVER HAD THAT. He’s never had a real family that loved him unconditionally and would risk everything to get him back because they love him and not because they want to use and own him. Kara who pleaded and begged with J'onn for his life. J'onn who disobeyed direct orders from the president to go after him and was willing to face the consequences. Winn the IT guy who jumped through a portal that if the coordinates were a tiny bit off he was dead in space to save his buddy. Kara boarding a ship loaded with kryptonite in the middle of space to fight for him- to the death if necessary. His mother underestimated what she and her friends would do because she never loved him that much and she didn’t understand the concept self-sacrifice. And when he says “You came after me,” and she says “Everytime” she is saying not just this time, babe, I will ALWAYS come for you. That’s a vow my friends. It’s commitment. These two are officially mates as far as I’m concerned.

Originally posted by michael-arden

Originally posted by fyeahkaramel

things that are okay:

not liking mon el

not liking karamel

shipping something else

thinking karamel is problematic


things that are not okay:

sending chris wood hate because you don’t like mon el

tagging your anti-mon el and anti-karamel posts with “mon el” and “karamel” to annoy shippers

calling karamel abusive and, through this, minimizing actual abuse

acting as if your interpretation of karamel as abusive is supported by their canonically consensual and reciprocal relationship and thereby minimizing real abuse (there. if you want to think it’s abusive, fine, just don’t shame fans for shipping it and act as if your interpretation is canon and fact)

forcing your opinions onto the actors and other fans 

condoning mon el’s mother’s actual abuse toward him (she hit him and then locked him in a cell and I saw people cheering her on)

(okay also, this one is not actually that bad but when I go in the karamel tag and see people calling him maggot-el, mayonnaise, and manhell, I throw up a little in my mouth. if you’re going to name call a character, don’t put it in the tags).

anonymous asked:

Can I ask for your advice? One of my friends ships karam*l and I don't and she asked why and I don't know how to explain that I really want to hurl Mon-ew into the fucking sun without sounding like a douchecanoe, since I don't really think she's noticed that he's horrid (heteronormativity yay). Any suggestions?

peak my masterpost here with links to the good posts about how mon-el is abusive and why it’s a shitty ship. Alternatively his character tag (mon el, mon-el, monel) will have a lot of posts on it that sum it up really well for you. The karolsen, sanvers and supercorp tags also have a fair bit of decent commentary too. There are posts upon posts of the shows statistics showing that he has taken up a ridiculous amount of screen time this season. Seriously, someone edited out all of his parts in 2x16, and that left us with 25 minutes of a 45 minute show left to distribute among the other characters, he’s that fucking screen heavy. 

But basically he’s a gaslighting, manipulative fuck, who owned slaves and lied to Kara about that so that he could get into her pants. He literally complained about not being able to objectify women. He’s not doing anything for the good of the people, even with his heroing he’s stated that he’s doing it to spend time with Kara. He also only started training as a hero in the first place to spend more time as kara to get into her pants, furthering the sexist trope that it’s a woman’s job to make a man better. That doesn’t make you a hero, that makes you a misogynistic twat with super strength. Not to mention that they broke up Karolsen, a healthy interracial relationship, for no reason other than to stick Kara with him. There was literally not one good explanation given for their break up. they spent a whole season healthily building up that relationship only to tear it down when the white boy came in to the picture.

And finally he just doesn’t respect her at all. Not once has he actually listened to. When she asked him to be quiet about the relationship, he lasted literally 10 seconds before announcing it to not just her friends, but to everyone she fucking works with too. Without her fucking consent and after she asked him not to. And in her fucking workplace of all places. When she asked him to respect her, he didn’t. When Winn said he should respect Kara, he listened. That’s classic misogyny. And not to mention the fact that when they broke up, he literally ignored that during The Flash episode and acted like it didn’t happen. J’onn had to call him out for it by saying “I thought you two broke up”. To which Monfuck’s response was “shhhh”. True loves kiss my fucking ass. And he keeps invading her personal/safe spaces. He was just in her apartment?? Without her permission or consent?? When she asked for him to leave her alone?? Creepy as fuck mate.

Even in this episode where he’s meant to be decent: Kara alled him incredible, sweet, kind and selfless. Do you know what he called her? Annoying. He called her annoying.

It’s not a healthy ship and Kara isn’t happy. Melissa even said so herself. 

YOUR SHIP IS PROBLEMATIC: KARAMEL

Karamel (Kara and Mon-El) is a problematic ship because:

• It’s lowkey incest. Kara and Mon-El are adoptive cousins. Have none of you ever question why Mon-El’s name is rather similar to Kal-El? Well, here’s what his name is actually an abbreviation of Monday and the ‘El’ came from Clark who did name him that as a passage that he is now of their kin. So if you wanna ship incest then go ahead. Don’t even put the ‘comics and the tv show are different’ excuse on me. DID I MENTIONED ADOPTIVE COUSINS???? THAT’S WHY THEY’RE LOWKEY INCEST. I NEVER SAID THEY WERE RELATED. And to clear it all up, Clark adopted Lar Gand into the family.
• It’s rushed and forced. They have just been together for two weeks and Mon-El already says ‘I love you’ to Kara that just seems hella rushed and forced at a certain level. They really need more development as a couple before one of them should truly blurt those words out.

Okay, before anyone asks or comes at me, the whole Karamel is abusive doesn’t seem to ring yet. I’m no Karamel shipper but I get that they’ve punched each other like maybe a few times, comics included. But during some of those times they weren’t exactly a thing yet, and the others were either one of them was provoked, defending themselves, or under mind control. Also let’s not forget that in some parts of Season 1 James kind of was dictating Kara on what to do so…yeah!

Supergirl 2x17

- Wait, so James knows there is a bounty hunter near and he decides to engage Mon-El instead. Why? Also, seriously, how frikking fast is he with the suit changing! 

- I laughed *so hard* at the telepath going “Come at me, bro”.

- I heart my sweet creampuff Kara wanting to talk it out with the queen. 

- “I did not see that coming.”

- “You Kryptonians were never really good at entertaining” XD I love me some Rhea. 

- I’m not convinced that the Sanvers storyline was a great fit for the episode, since it’s kinda weird to picture Alex juggling both of these plots. That said, guess we got another example of what Supergirl thinks of repeat liars in relationships. Maggie better not break Alex’ heart or I’ll hunt her down. 

- When Kara was pleading for peace between Krypton and Daxam I was really hoping for some major diss along the lines of “Why should I make peace with you? I still have a people, you don’t.” 

- A lot of this Daxamite plot still feels too speedy to me. But I guess they only have limited time to use Terri Hatcher and Kevin Sorbo. Darn. Daxamites having access to large quantities of Kryptonite could have made things kind of interesting. 

- RIP to random Daxamite guard who got sucked out into space. 

- I can’t believe it, but I had a smidgen of pity for Rhea when Mon-El leaves the ship. Might just me loving Terri Hatcher so damn much. 

- Man I hope they come up with the tech-tech reason why they can’t just use the portal all the time. 

- Winn got to go to outer space! 

- You just KNOW that we were cheated out of a proper Lynda Carter/Terri Hatcher scene, you just know the president and Rhea had a deal. 

- So I guess we are just never going to explain why Mon-El told Kara his father was a scary person? BTW, for now I’m gonna go with “Rhea has gone insane with grief” as far as character motivations go. It really seemed at least at this point like her main motivation for killing Lar Gand was that he got between her and retrieving her baby (who she intended to lock into a cell for 4 years, but that’s just details), rather than it being some power grab. 

- BTW contrary to some other people’s interpretation, I did not get the impression that Lar Gand was anywhere close to jumping on the “equality for all” trend just yet. 

- I’m still really unclear how many Daxamites are supposed to be left. And how can the king and queen just take off 8 years of time to go on a fetch quest? 

- I kinda expected some snark out of Mon-El when his mother slapped him, but there was none. 

- OMG M’gann mention!! (btw, I now picture J’onn secretly miffed that he has to be honorable and be supportive of M’gann’s quest, but he actually kinda hates it XD)

- I heart J’onn defying presidental orders for his “family”. 

*DC Show Writers trying to compare Karamel (who have only been together for like 5 seconds and who have only known each other for like a few months, who are constantly arguing and disrespecting each other, who are painfully awkward and just awful together) to WestAllen (who have known each other since they were kids, who constantly encourage and support each other)

me: “Get the boys, we’re going to war”