a dumb blog

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Have a very drarry Christmas!

(i know it’s past i’m sorry) but this one’s for ya’ll! Thank you so much for everything, these past months have been so much fun ヾ(♡ ³♡)ノ Especially @avoidakedavra for being the sweetest and most supportive person ever

Fun fact!! cishet male survivors of abuse are just as deserving of love, comfort, understanding, and recovery as the rest of us. Privilege doesn’t negate trauma.

do you ever stop to think about how terrifying neil actually is

neil would watch the world burn for his family. neil would take the fucking lighter and burn the world himself if it served his goals and he wouldn’t hesitate one (1) second. he is ruthless and he has no remorse. killing someone is just another option for him and the only reason he takes running is because he was taught running is the way, and killing would put his family in danger. no one who is morally sane answers “you had a reason” when your crush tells you “i killed my mother”. neil hates aaron because he was in his way. he would watch katelyn die, who has literally done nothing against him, and think “well, too bad”. neil is the definition of being neutral and the proof of how scary it can be. neil doesn’t like knives because it was his father’s weapon, but neil’s blades are his words. neil is much more alike his father than he wants to be.

neil is truly fucking terrifying

  • Me: Daddy's at work...
  • Me: probably shouldn't text him..
  • Me: or call...
  • Me: just leave him alone.
  • Me: .....
  • Me: *sighs*
  • Me: *contemplates on whether or not Daddy needs a job*
  • Me: *remembers snacks stickers and stuffies cost money*
  • Me: *allows Daddy to keep job because of SSS*

sorry guys if this is too questionable for you

Okay but seriously

It’s been wonderful seeing all the Dad!Gabriel and Dad!Jack ideas going around for when Jesse first joins Blackwatch, but y’all are missing the PRIMEST OF PRIME opportunities here:

Jesse with not one BUT TWO Commander Dads with bad puns, dad jokes, and a whole slew of embarrassing ideas.

Like

Gabriel basically rescues and adopts Jesse from Deadlock

Jack: …well. This is it, Jack.
Jack: you’re a dad now.
Jack: time to be a loving and supporting partner to your husband in this endeavor, and a responsible and warmhearted role model to this poor kid who has had so much go wrong in his young life.
Jack: …
Jack: guess I gotta learn how to golf now.  
Jack: …
Jack: and also buy all my clothes from Costco.                      



Five minutes later

Gabriel: …what the actual fuck are you wearing
*Jack in Hawaiian button up, cargo shorts, socks and sandals*
Jack: …
Jack: we’re dads now, Gabe.
Gabriel: …
Gabriel: shit you’re right

Five minutes later

Jesse comes outside into the break area of the Watchpoint.

Jesse: hey, y'all seen my hat anywhere? I think Fareeha hid it - CHICKEN ON A DONKEY WHAT THE FUCK
*Jack and Gabe practicing really bad golf swings in Hawaiian shirts, cargo shorts, and socks and sandals*
Jack: hello, kiddo
Gabe: sup, chico
Jesse: …
Jesse: Hey uh
Jesse: can I choose to go to jail instead      


                  
Twenty minutes later

Ana: I should have expected this from you, Jack
Ana: but you too, Gabriel?? I expected better from you
Torbjörn: …you expected better from Gabriel “I wear my beanie in New Mexico” Reyes?
Gabriel: I detect some sarcasm there
Jack: Ana…Ana, don’t you see?
Ana: ??
Jack: we have a TEENAGER living in the base with us
Ana: …
Torbjörn: …
Reinhardt: …team, we know what we must do

Five minutes later

Jesse: still can’t find my hat - CHEESE WHIZ ON A CRACKER WHAT
*Entire Strike team in Hawaiian shirts, cargo shorts, socks and sandals*
Jesse: …
Jack: …we’re all dads now



Twenty years later

In the theater on the Hollywood map

Jesse: …
Shiver Reaper: …
Golden 76: …
Shiver Reaper: hey, chico
Golden 76: how ya doin’, kid?
Jesse: …
Hanzo: …do you know these people, Jesse?
Jesse: …nah
Lúcio: introduce us to your friends!
Jesse: …extra hell nah
Golden 76: hey Jesse
Golden 76: watch this!
*Golden 76 starts doing push ups*
Hanzo: …
Lúcio: …
Sombra: …
Jesse: how.  why.
Shiver Reaper: …like you’re one to talk
Shiver Reaper: you look ridiculous
Jesse: …
*flashbacks to late adolescent and young adult years of his foster fathers in bad polo shirts and ugly plaid pants and Daredevil 76 and Pumpkin Reaper*
Jesse: …I CANNOT BELIEVE
*Jesse McCree has left the game.*
Shiver Reaper: …
Golden 76: …
*Reaper and Soldier: 76 high-five*
Golden 76: We still got it.



(I cannot believe I have to add this but do not tag this as mc*/reyes//76 or any variation thereof)

reasons why The Party (s1 ep16) is the single greatest brooklyn nine nine - nay, comedy tv show - episode ever made and i’ll probably never ever get tired of watching it:

- strong underlying plot surrounding the discrimination against race and sexuality perpetuated by the NYPD and how awful and hurtful and gross that behaviour is

- zero dancing around the above subject, even going so far as to bluntly describe the perpetrators of the discrimination as “many of whom look exactly like you” to the white cishet male protagonist

- consequent acknowledgement of said protagonist of the crappiness of the behaviour even though he himself has never expressed even a hint of being prejudiced (he doesn’t get defensive, or scoff and brush it off, or say “Well, NOT ME”; Jake’s uncomfortable with emotions, sure, and says so, but not once in that scene does he dismiss Kevin’s concerns as not applying to him - rather, he demonstrates with his actions how much he (and the rest of the squad) care about and respect Captain Holt)

- kevin cozner is unfortunately not the star of danzes with wolvez

- [terrible falsetto] “Raymond, those slacks are a knockout!”

- the entire trope setup of the squad being in a Super Affluent Adult Situation, suddenly magnifying their collective weirdo-ness by showing how whacky their regular shenanigans really are in a normal Real World setting

- a party, no less

- for their boss’s birthday

- oh man

- “don’t move in a group! you’re not gazels!!”

- Charles having to put on Terry’s fifty-sizes-too-big cardigan to hide the massive salsa stain on his shirt

- “this fits so well, Terry, we have such similar physiques!”

- the hecnking. the fact that to any outside observer who did not Know amy santiago and jake peralta, watching them sneak upstairs one right after the other with no context could have only been interpreted as “they’re gonna go bang”, when, in fact, banging was the last thing on either of their minds

- they were instead concerned with trying to either a) back the unfortunate pro-slavery stance they’d accidentally backed themselves into or b) heinously violate the captain’s privacy by cataloguing the presence of “how it’s made: contact lenses” on his DVR, oh my God

- “we’re could have been really cool people! we weren’t, but we could have been!”

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