a dead on analysis

Okay, so, on a sudden and unrelated note... >_>;

Hey, everybody! Okay, so I know I haven’t been on here in, like, forever and a half. I missed the disbanding of the Meteor blog, and probably a whole buncha other stuff. For whatever reason, though, my previous work analyzing people’s sessions and classpects has garnered enough attention that even months after going dark, some people are still following me, hoping, I suppose to see more stuff from me! I’m super grateful for all the support, and I deeply apologize to everyone that’s been waiting so patiently, and would like to give the following assurances, plans, as well as a request to anyone out there who cares to listen!

First of all, this analysis blog is not dead. I’m really hoping to get back to it after a while, but for now, I just don’t think I have the energy or focus to even try. I have a few other things I’m trying to work on (more on that below), but I do want to someday come back and resume telling you all about how doomed you are! JKLOL :3

So, what I was really hoping to talk about here was my most recent ambitions. Aside from spending time working on webcomics that nobody’s looking at, like my little project on DeviantART and the Undertale fan-ask-comic-blog I’ve been workshopping, I do have some long-term goals I need to work on. At the core, I want to be a better artist. Specifically, I want to eventually get into animation. That’s a ways off, but a nice step would be getting the hardware and software that will get me moving. However, having little in the way of information and being a bit of a noob in this field I have chosen, I’d like to ask the opinions of my dear followers…

Okay, so first off, I make these spiffy taklksprite gifs using GIMP, which has served me well enough as a free photomanipulation program for a while. It does all the stuff I need it to do, with no trouble. HOWEVER!! I know there’s got to be a reason people spring for the pay-to-use photomanip giant that is ~Photoshop~! So, my first question is: Should I spring for Photoshop? Is it worth paying for? What can it offer that I can’t get from my freeware program? I’m interested, but with relatively limited funds, and don’t want to spend needlessly! And speaking of that…

The main thing I want to look into is a tablet, with which to draw my drawings directly onto the computer, rather than go through the massively-time-consuming process of using a mouse cursor to click-drag these lines into shape. Being able to use a tablet would be so freeing, like you have no idea…not that I do, either. Never used one in my life. AND SO!! I must ask any and all digital artists out there: What should I look for in my first tablet? Again, I don’t want anything too expensive, but I’m willing to pay a little extra for something good. I don’t want to break the bank, but I don’t have to scrape the bottom of the bargain bin. Please tell me what you think!

So there you have it! This post is nothing to do with Homestuck and only a little to do with the blog in general, but I will tell you, if I could get some help on this, it might really free me up, artistically, and I miiiight be able to come back to working on this blog a bit sooner…? No promises, but it’s a thought… ^_^;

If you have insight to offer me or questions regarding my hard/software needs (*coughoraboutmycomicprojectscough*), send it to me as either fanmail or a chat message, and I’ll attempt to get back to you in a timely manner, to discuss your thoughts!

And once again, to all my beautiful fans: THANK YOU AND KEEP BEING AWESOME~!

OFF THE CUFF HOMESTUCK THOUGHTS #3: THE SELF PILE DOESN’T STOP FROM GETTING TALLER OR: THE PROBLEM OF DEAD MARIOS

DISCLAIMER

IMPORTANT THEORETICAL FRAMEWORK

[CHECK THE TAG FOR MORE THOUGHTS]

So, a long-ass time ago, Rose and Dave had a conversation like this:

TT: After you go, what do you think will happen to me?
TT: Will I just cease to exist?
TG: i dont know
TG: i mean your whole timeline will
TG: maybe
TT: Maybe?
TT: Is there a chance it’ll continue to exist, and I’ll just be here alone forever?
TT: I’m not sure which outcome is more unsettling.
TG: the thing with time travel is
TG: you cant overthink it
TG: just roll with it and see what happens
TG: and above all try not to do anything retarded
TT: What do you think I should do?
TG: try going to sleep
TG: our dream selves kind of operate outside the normal time continuum i think
TG: so if part of you from this timelines going to persist thats probably the way to make it happen
TT: Ok.
TG: and hey you might even be able to help your past dream self wake up sooner without all that fuss you went through
TT: I think the true purpose of this game is to see how many qualifiers we can get to precede the word “self” and still understand what we’re talking about.

This is the most important sentence in Homestuck.

I am dead serious.

Well, OK, I mean, it’s pretty important for understanding some major Homestuck themes and shit or something like that.

Also, I totally should have said: Pre-Retcon Doomed Timeline Non-Dreamself Rose but ultimately about to become Dreamself Rose who semi-merged with Pre-Retcon Alpha Timeline Rose and Doomed Timeline Dave aka Davesprite AKA future Davepetasprite^2 or as we all call them around the office, Davepeta, had that conversation.

Maybe you begin to see what I’m going to talk about here.

One of the major frustrations a lot of people had with the retcon was that the characters we ended up with at the end weren’t the ones we’d come to love and know throughout the story. Was it even worth it, to lose the characters we loved to the tyranny of Game Over? The victorious kids, with the exception of John and Roxy, were other people, with other histories, other goals, and other choices.

Allow me to submit that that may be the whole point.

SBURB is cruel. We’ve known that for a long time. It’s cruel not as Caliborn is cruel, but as the cosmos is cruel, as a supernova is cruel. It wants what it wants, and doesn’t care about how that intersects with the needs of humanity. It wants to make universes through a complex game-playing method, and drags hapless, vulnerable adolescents along for the ride. And most of the time it doesn’t even succeed, leaving its champions to rot in a doomed timeline or similar! Skaia’s victory is an amoral creation myth where individual human beings are just the carved pieces on the chessboard. (I mean, the other ones. Not the carapacians.)

Again, let’s consider the theme of VIDEO GAMES vs. REAL LIFE.

Homestuck, let’s be real, is basically some postmodern horror timey-wimey Jumanji. For a generation way more familiar with pixels than cute little tokens It’s easy for teenagers and in fact, basically everyone, to fantasize about escaping their life and slipping into some game world forever, where they get to do awesome things and be a heroic person.

Homestuck makes that literal. Congratulations, everything you ever knew is dead. You will never see it again, except your internet friends, who turn out also to be your family and other important people. I mean, from a distance, SBURB sounds like an awesome game, right? You figure out who you are and get to wear a cool costume displaying that identity. You get to make anything you want and enjoy this hyperflexible mythology tailored to YOUR CHOICES. HS fans talk all the time about how cool it would be to play a real version of SBURB. That’s a big part of the appeal of SBURB fan adventures. They put you and your friends in the story. Or your favorite characters! It sounds like a fantasy come true.

The thing is, as fantastical as it is, it’s also really fucked up, and ultimately you and your friends are being used. By a giant frog to let it have its babies. By the universe. By a smug blue cloud thing that doesn’t care about you at all.

SBURB does not care about you at all.

The funny thing, SBURB features a mythology with so many layers and nuances and seemingly human motifs about growth and self that you might search for some grand ultimate meaning behind it, but it’s not even human enough to have a personality, to be something you can argue with or fight. It just is. It’s all the cruelty and power of a god without any of the dazzling personality. It’s empty. It just wants to make universes all day long, or fail trying. It is a great, weird tadpole-making machine that eats children.

One of the big ways it doesn’t care about you is its attitude toward the self. Humans and trolls and whatnot prefer not to be relentlessly duplicated. SBURB says, oh yeah, let’s make tons of copies of the player characters and use them for a lot of different purposes.

There’s the dreamself, an essential bifurcation of identity (you are now and were always the dream moon princex) that sometimes gets merged into god tier but sometimes doesn’t. There’s doomed timeline selves, who exist ultimately to augment an Alpha timeline whose Alphaness is decided very arbitrarily and frequently by Lord English. There’s the you who exists before a scratched session and the you who exists afterward, who are two different people but started as one baby in an act of ectobaby meteor duplication, your player self and your guardian self. Dead timeline yous fill up the dreambubbles made by the horrorterrors and get endlessly confused with each other. Any one of these could be the you experience being at any given moment, and which one it is entirely arbitrary. Don’t like being Dead Nepeta #47? Tough hoofbeast leavings, kiddo.

To top it all off, in Terezi: Remember, we learn that every single time we thought someone changed from one self to another, was resurrected or something like that, it was another act of duplication. For every time someone’s died, there’s another version of them waiting in the Dream Bubbles, surprised that they’re not the main character anymore. And we have no way of knowing which is which. Even John, good old everyman John, may or may not be the person who died three or four times. It’s really impossible to say whether we’ve been following the same person throughout our story, or just the illusion of the same person, like a horrifying cosmic flipbook.

The retcon is a return to this same theme. Ultimately, there’s very little new in the changes John makes to reality except that they drive the point home.

John’s friends all died. John and his friends won the game. These things are both true at the same time, except those things may not have happened to the same people. There was a happy ending. Hooray! For, um, some folks who may or may not be the ones we care about. In fact, it’s very confusing, because from Rose’s perspective, Roxy is dead but came back to life, and from Roxy’s perspective Rose is dead but came back to life, except also she came back to life as a weird tentacle catgirl of pure id and self –indulgence. So there’s that. Um. Which Rose are we rooting for again?

Or wait: is it none of them, because the first Rose died in a doomed timeline, hundreds of panels and a number of years ago?

There’s a tension here which one experiences between saying it’s okay because it’s still the same people, and saying it’s not okay, because it’s not the same people at all. This tension is exactly what we’re meant to wrestle with. To put it another way, Homestuck asks if identity can work in aggregate. Are all Johns John, all Roses Rose, and do they all share in what they accomplish? Or are the final victors only accidents created by the whims and needs of the frog baby machine?

What I’m saying, basically, is that the retcon, in the sense that it pointed out our confused relationship with these characters, was already here.

In interviews and questions put to him over the years, Hussie constantly compares HS and SBURB to other video games, particularly Mario, which he frequently returns to as a baseline of comparison that most of his readers will know. One answer, from a recent Hiveswap interview, is particularly revelatory. To the question of “Why do you kill off all your characters?” Hussie replies:

[…]HS is supposedly a story that is also a game. In games, the characters die all the time. How many times did you let Mario fall in the pit before he saved the princess? Who weeps for these Marios. In games your characters die, but you keep trying and trying and rebooting and resetting until finally they make it. When you play a game this process is all very impersonal. Once you finally win, when all is said and done those deaths didn’t “count”, only the linear path of the final victorious version of the character is considered “real”. Mario never actually died, did he? Except the omniscient player knows better. HS seems to combine all the meaningless deaths of a trial-and-error game journey with the way death is treated dramatically in other media, where unlike our oblivious Mario, the characters are aware and afraid of the many deaths they must experience before finally winning the game.

The big man hass the answer.

Homestuck is the story of those dead Marios.

Other works, like Undertale, have engaged with this topic as well. But one of the major differences between Undertale and Homestuck is that in Undertale, between “lives,” one’s consciousness is preserved. In Homestuck, it’s discontinuous, and the value of the overall trial-error process is called into question by the fact that you, the player, may not even get to experience the victory. What meaning does victory hold if that is the case?

So, to put it in a nice thesis format:

One of the central themes of Homestuck is the challenge of reconciling an arbitrary and destructive pattern of growth and victory with the death and suffering you experienced along the way. Homestuck asks: is victory worthwhile if you’re not you anymore? And would you be able to know?

What even is the self? Is there such a thing?

If you were left feeling somewhat disconcerted by our heroes’ tidy victory and departure to their cosmic prize, or by how which Rose gets the spotlight is so deeply, deeply arbitrary, there’s a good reason for that. You’re supposed to be.

The philosophical problem of Wacky Cat Rose is insignificant next to the bullshit of SBURB.

And don’t forget—John and Roxy’s denizens helped them achieve the retcon. Ultimately, the victory they achieved was mediated by the same amoral system of SBURB, and was a victory over an enemy, Caliborn, whose power was created, perpetuated, and ended by that same system.

Okay, so here’s where it gets contentious. There’s an argument to be made, which I’m not sure how I feel about, that some of the character development that could have been in post-retcon Act 6 was left out precisely to push this feeling and play up this tension. Note that this is not the same thing as saying that they were deliberately badly written, but that they’re deliberately written to make us uneasy.That Hussie deliberately played with the balance between making these retconned characters feel familiar and making them feel eerily different to leave us feeling uneasy with the result.

I’m not sure I like that idea. It smacks a little too much of that “everything is perfect” thinking that comes sometimes from the far Metastuck camp. Some of the differences may also be the result of flawed writing. (See: Jane and Jake’s character arcs, which I might talk about later.) And I want to be able to critique those flaws. Ultimately, I think we still needed more time and development to figure out who these new people were—even if our goal was ultimately to compare them to their earlier selves. And again, more conscious acknowledgement of the problem from our heroes—especially John, the linchpin in this last and biggest act of duplication—might have helped drive this theme home.

Still, I think the Problem of Dead Marios is one of the most fundamental questions of Homestuck, maybe THE biggest question. It’s essential to understand it to understand what Hussie’s doing—or attempting to do— in the retcon and the ending.

I don’t know that Homestuck offers us a clear answer to that question. There are some confusions around the issue, too. Where do merged selves fit in, exactly? Clearly they’re a big part of the discussion, because Hussie spends some time in Act 6, especially near the end bringing the identity-merging powers of the Sprites to the forefront. (See also: the identity-merged nightmare that is Lord English.)  Can we even come up with a clear answer to what it means when a dead Mario returns to life grotesquely fused with Toad? How does he beat the game? Does he tell himself that the princess is in another castle? Or what if he merges with Peach? Are they their own princess? How do they know if they’re in the right castle?

Um. Anyway—

Interestingly, it’s not all grotesque—spritesplosions suggest that personalities that are too different don’t stay together long, so a fusion might rely on some inherent compatibility between the two players. Erisol’s self-loathing, sure, but also Fefeta’s cheerfulness. Davepeta seems to be a way of bringing out the best in their players, a way of getting Davesprite past his angst and Nepeta past her fear. Honestly, I know a lot of people don’t like Davepeta as the ending of these two characters’ arcs, but I can’t help but love it. They’re the ultimate coolkid. Cool enough to know they don’t have to be cool. Regular Dave got there, too, of course. But was his retcon assist from John ultimately any different?

Then, of course, we come to Davepeta’s speech to Jade in one of the last few updates before Collide. Davepeta suggests that there is such a thing as an ultimate self beyond the many different selves one piles up throughout the cosmos. A set of principles that describes who you are that’s larger than any individual instance of you. Your inherent Mariohood. (Maybe this is comparable to your Classpect identity, which attempts to describe who you are?) Davepeta even tells Jade, strikingly, that one might learn to see beyond the barriers between selves. Be the ur-self, in practice, rather than theory. This would be incredible news for Jade, who wrestles with the issue of different selves perhaps more than any other character. (There’s a lot to say about Jade.)

Honestly, I wish this ur-self idea had been developed more, and I honestly expected it to be. It doesn’t fully come to fruition, I feel. (Same goes for Davepeta’s character. Ohhhh, ZING!) I’m not sure it entirely makes philosophical sense, especially with fusion—I mean, doesn’t Davepeta themself disprove it? Or at least complicate it? Like, are they part of the ur-Dave or the ur-Nepeta? They seem to imply they’re BOTH? Does that even work? Does that mean that Marieach is all the Peaches and Marios at once?

(In fact, Bowser/Peach/Mario are but the three manifestations of one eternal principle. Also, Bowser/Peach are the true power couple. Read my fanfiction plz.)

And what, say, of Dirk, who ultimately ends up rejecting aspects of his other selves? It feels like there’s a lot more you could say here, and I wonder if Hussie would have said more, if he’d had time. What’s weird is, none of our victorious kids never reach an ur-self (though to their descendants, they become archetypal to some degree), which one might have expected. They’re just individual selves who happened to get lucky. Does that make them representative of the whole? It feels like something’s missing here, or like something got dropped at the last minute.

Same goes for the idea of the Ultimate Riddle. You’d be forgiven for missing it, but there’s been this riddle in the background lore of SBURB that seems to have something to do with personal agency in this overwhelming, overarching system. Karkat called it predestination, saying something like “ANY HOPE YOU HAD OF DOING THINGS OTHERWISE WAS JUST A RUSE.” But others have interpreted it more positively. My favorite interpretation, from bladekindeyewear: the answer to the Riddle is that YOU shape the timeline through your existence, personality, and choices, even when it looks like it’s all predestination. Ultimately it’s your predestination, your set of events, based deeply on your nature, that you are creating. Someone like Caliborn can use his innate personality to achieve power; someone like John might be able to use it to achieve freedom.

I definitely expected something like that to be expressed more explicitly. Like, a big ah-ha moment that helps John or Jade or whoever understand how to escape Caliborn’s system. Something like that would have been very helpful for a lot of our heroes, actually, who’ve been pushed around by Skaia and SBURB together, in finding a cathartic ending.  Once again, I wonder if something was dropped or rushed because there wasn’t time to put it all in. There’s places where you can see hints of that Answer being implied, maybe? But it’s kind of ambiguous.

You can see how the Answer to the Ultimate Riddle ties into some of Davepeta’s ideas. If your personality, the rules of your behavior are a fundamental archetype that goes beyond each individual self, then the answer to whether it matters if one self of yours makes it through to victory is an emphatic YES. You are all of those people, and by winning one round with Skaia, you’ve won the whole game, despite all the arbitrary challenges and deaths it heaps upon you along the way.

This may strike some as too positive for Skaia’s brutality, or again, some way of excusing flaws in many characters’ arcs, or unfair things that happen to them. To be fair, I don’t know that Davepeta’s necessarily meant to be taken as authoritative or the voice of Hussie. They may simply be offering a purrspective.

Hussie not choosing to come right out and engage with the Ultimate Riddle leaves the question of Dead Marios and what they mean for the victorious versions of our cast very open. I like that in some ways—let the reader decide—but I can’t help but wish we had more to work with in making that decision. Plus, it might have brought the thematic messages of Homestuck all the way home to tie them more closely to our characters and their experiences—character development being one of the things most people found most lacking in the ending.

NEXT TIME: All that wacky gnostic stuff probably

The scene that killed me

This. This did me in. Not only because of how much Akutagawa actually cared about Kyouka, but also because of his narration about his mentor, Dazai.




According to Akutagawa

He met a certain person

Joined a certain organization

And the hope for death in his eyes

vanished.

Oh by the way. To any followers who aren’t into SnK..... I’m really sorry. You’re going to have to suffer every Saturday until it’s over. My condolences.

sorry I’ve been dead, I still have an in-depth story analysis to write

It is my firmest and truest hc that Bill definitely does all he can to impress Dipper, so he joins the track team and the debate team and the paranormal activity club (which is less a club and more a bunch of geeks) (he only joins because Dipper’s a member) (it’s great) (it’s really awesome press for the “club”).

Another hc is that Dipper watches all of Bill’s activities and contests when he can, and they spend lots of gooey icky mushy time together.

also Hipster!Dipper strikes again

Don’t even talk to me.    I’m so.. hhnnGGAAGHAAHADAHAAAあぁぁぁぁぁぁぁぁ


Ok, so here, Yuuri says


「引退まで、僕のこと、おねがいします」

(intai made, boku no koto, onegaishimasu)


Which is translated as “Please be my coach until I retire!” in the subtitles. However Yuuri isn’t actually saying “be my coach”, he’s saying “look after me” or “I’m under your care”. He’s entrusting his whole self, physically, emotionally, and spiritually to Victor with this line, because he trusts him just that much.

Yuuri gives himself over to Victor, and that’s why he responds with a kiss to Yuuri’s knuckles and


「プロポーズみたいだね。」

(puropo-zu mitai da ne)

“It’s like a proposal, isn’t it”


To which Yuuri sighs in acceptance because he too knows it’s like a proposal, and he is totally fine with that. No rejection, no little groan, just a small sigh, contrasting his reaction to episode four when Victor asked whether he should be his lover.

You know what seals the deal right here in this scene though? It’s Victor’s next line


「ゆうりがずっと引退しなきゃいいのにな。」

(yuuri ga zutto intaishinakya iinoni na)

“It’d be nice if you never retire”


Victor says in return that he always wants to be by Yuuri’s side, and that he wants to look after Yuuri for a long, long time.

But that’s not it no no. The way Victor expresses his want to be by Yuuri’s side is strangely familiar don’t you think?

It has been brought up before, but Japanese people tend to express their emotions and wants in a roundabout way, they don’t really straight out say it. So if we jump all the way back to episode two, when Victor asks Yuuri what his wish was if he were to win Onsen on Ice, Yuuri says


「ヴィクトルとカツ丼食べたい。これからもいっぱい勝って、いっぱいカツ丼食べたい!」

(vikutoru to katsudon tabetai. korekara mo ippai katte, ippai katsudon tabetai)

“I want to eat katsudon with you (Victor). From here, I want to win a lot, and eat a lot of katsudon!”


It was where this whole love story aspect of the anime began, and it was through Yuuri’s roundabout way of saying “I want you to stay, Victor”.

In fact, we can observe Victor gradually picking up some of these Japanese traits, in episode three, during the Onsen on Ice event, there was the all-important


「カツ丼大好きだよ」

(katsudon daisuki dayo)

“I love katsudon.”


This is still quite straightforward, Victor says that he loves and supports Yuuri through the line. So when we compare this to the latest episode, with his “It’d be nice if you never retire”, which is around the same level of indirect as Yuuri’s “I want to eat katsudon with you”, we are able to really appreciate how much Yuuri has grown on Victor, and how much they both love and want each other.

same yuuri, same

1. Special: Grips as Songs

~~~~
Legend:
[Specific grip] [(MBTI types that can experience this grip)]
[(brief summary of the grip)]
[Most applicable part of the lyrics]
[- “Song Title”] [(Author)]
~~~~~

Se grip (INxJ)

(Distrust of the unpredictability of the physical world. Impulsiveness and recklessness. Mental shutdown, carelessness).

Take my tongue, go have some fun
And take the ears, take them and disappear
(…)
Take my face and desecrate
Arms and legs get in the way
Bodies break

“Body” (Mother Mother)

Send me down an angel
And let it pull me up from my own hell
We could float around this space
We’d be above all of the pain in ecstasy

“The Drugs” (Mother Mother)


Si grip (ENxP)

(Distrust of traditions. Lack of enthusiasm, lose of the creative spark. Withdrawnness and obsession)

It feels like I only go backwards, baby.
Every part of me says go ahead.
I got my hopes up again, oh no… not again.
Feels like we only go backwards, darling.
The seed of all this indecision isn’t me, oh no,

“Feels like we’re only going backwards” (Tame Impala)

Ne grip (ISxJ)

(Erratic action, visualisation of sundry negative possibilities and outcomes. Paranoia and lack of control)

They’re coming, creeping from the corner
And all I know is that I don’t feel safe
I feel the tapping on my shoulder
I turn around in an alarming state
But am I loosing my mind?
I really think so

– “Nightmare” (Set It Off)

I can’t decide
Whether you should live or die
Oh, you’ll probably go to heaven
Please don’t hang your head and cry
No wonder why
My heart feels dead inside

– “I can’t decide” (Scissor Sisters)


Ni grip (ESxP)

(over-analysis is draining. But I can’t stop thinking of all possible most catastrophic outcomes; irrational pessimism and paranoia. Distrust as a result of lacking an identification of connections)

(But things are bound to change)
Sometimes life is altered.
Break from the ropes your hands are tied.
Uneasy with confrontation.
Won’t turn out right. Can’t turn out right.

– “And All Things Will End” (Avenged Sevenfold)

And I’ll watch as all the numbers go
Up in a cloud of dark and dirty smoke
Ya I’m just waiting for the end of the world
End of the whole wide world
End of the whole world
Waiting for the world to end

– “Waiting for the World to End” (Mother Mother)


Fe grip (IxTP)

(anxiety over feelings, inability to moderate them. Feeling entangled by outside influences, especially other people’s feelings.)

Sticks and stones could break my bones
But anything you say will only fuel my lungs
Don’t mind us we’re just spilling our guts
If this is love I don’t wanna be loved
You pollute the room with a filthy tongue
Watch me choke it down so I can throw it up.

“Sarcasm” (Get Scared)


Fi grip (ExTJ)

(Self-pity, lack of control over emotions. Loss of self-confidence. Feelings of being deceived, undervalued and despised)

My feelings ran away
I didn’t know how to treat them
Maybe if I believed them they’d have stayed

– “Love Stuck” (Mother Mother)

I never learned to count my blessings
I choose instead to dwell
In my disasters
(…)
Will I always feel this way
So empty
So estranged?

– “Empty” (Ray LaMontagne)


Te grip (IxFP)

(Feelings of failure and powerlessness, difficulty to set into motion. Inability to process certain emotions. Self-blaming for past decisions).

I never lived in fear I knew I’d die another day
I never viewed my life as something… slipping away
(…)
So don’t be too concerned, you’ve got a lot to learn
Well so do I and we’ve got plenty of time yeah

– “Unbound” (Avenged Sevenfold)

I’m a little tired of walking
Forgive the trite expression
But I’m tired on life’s long road.
(…)
Time cruelly goes hour by hour
– “Irony” (Vocaloid).


Ti grip (ExFJ)

(Distrust and critical view of others, unusual difficulty to care about them. Cynicism and pessimism towards humankind)

Cry to god, a boy, no stronger
And in those days he stood, no falter
A summer smile I won’t remember
No, it stays the same forever
“Guess I died. And I’m so sorry”
Goodbye’s too sad and way too lonely

– “Lost Time Memory”

I push my fingers into my eyes
It’s the only thing that slowly stops the ache
When it’s made of all the things I have to take
Jesus, it never ends, it works it’s way inside
If the pain goes on

“Duality” (Slipknot)

halzbarry  asked:

So I have to get your official thoughts haha. Do you think there was any meta to Snart ever coming back or do you think that's it for him?

It’s so hard to say.

There’s still no press release about the status of Wentworth Miller’s contract being renewed for another season or not, unlike Katie Cassidy and John Barrowman, whose status they’ve made clear already.

This episode was fantastic though, and they’d be fools not to bring him back. But within canon, they’ve squandered every chance they could use, and instead hammered his death home multiple times. They did it on Legends first, with Mick sending him back on his path and telling him he has to fulfill that destiny because it makes him a better man. And now they’ve done it on The Flash by having him repeat the line he goes out with. Hell, they did it when they had the speedforce tell Barry that he died in part because Barry inspired him. That solidified that death.

If I were doing a purely canon textual analysis - he’s dead and staying that way. 

Which is something I’ve suspected ever since he was a hallucination for Mick. Fool me once (hologram), shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. I wondered then if they were serious about bringing him back or just wanted to use him, and what they were planning. And they had a perfect opportunity to make him an aberration the way that Amaya is, or else to use the Spear and have Mick bring him back to life, but they didn’t take it. 

If I were to take a step back, I still maintain they’d be fools not to continue using him. But I’ve said that from before they ever killed him, sure they’d never do it because he’s such a popular character. As someone in marketing, it personally offends me that they would let him stay dead because it’s such a waste

Bringing him back would be amazing. The fans love him. He’s a phenomenal actor. He’s an important character. They might have been waiting until this episode to see the fan reaction, and it’s possible that the ‘no strings on me’ was a hint at a changing fate instead of an ending. Realistically, there are still ways to bring him back and do right by it. 

But.

But The Flash isn’t Arrow. It hasn’t (permanently, for more than one episode) ever brought a character “back” to life. 

So I’d say, honestly… don’t hold out hope. Unless we get a press release saying he’s back, and even then, we had him “back” this season, just shadows and hallucinations and falsehoods, or else past versions of him.

youtube

(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qdn3dDVRhwQ)

Isaac Clarke

Can I just talk about Isaac for a second? I’ve already mentioned him in a past post of mine but for real, this guy is an unstoppable bad-ass.

Firstly, his will to survive is insane. How come, in this whole mess of necromorphs (Dead space 1, 2, and 3) he somehow trudges on. How come, where so many have fallen, Isaac survives every encounter with these beasts. It’s amazing that in these sprawling settings where screams of the dead and dying echo through the halls and corridors, Isaac is somewhere in the thick of all of it, creeping along his nav-point to his next objective.

Like, lets forget you’re controlling Isaac for a second. Assume we aren’t even there moving the analog stick.

Isaac, after life-threatening events and deadly situations merely rises from the gore and viscera, reloads and continues along his path. We as mere spectators are terrified after thirty minutes of gameplay. We have the luxury of shutting off the console and playing tomorrow.

Playing.

For Isaac, there are no save points. No snack breaks. No naps. In fact, I’m pretty sure Isaac never eats, sleeps, or goes to the bathroom for the entire duration of the first two games. This is a constant hell he is put through where death is a reality, and any vent or hole could house his killer. Yet time and time again the world puts him down and he stands back up taller and deadlier than ever before.

Like, the most important thing about Isaac is that he isn’t a special commando soldier sent into the fight to kick some alien ass. Isaac is just a man. Just an engineer sent to repair a ship and maybe even see his girlfriend if he has the time. He doesn’t have high tech military weapons. He has power tools. So here we have a deranged man running around with power tools slowly going insane like any normal person would in a situation like this.

That’s another thing I love about this guy. He is a normal human being that just got thrown into this and came out completely wrecked. He is a believable character. He didn’t leave the Ishimura with women around his waist and a cigar in his mouth ready to pop the bubbly.

Earth Gov found him crazy, disheveled, and muttering to himself in a bloody executive shuttle floating in deep space not far from Aegis IIV. He was deeply traumatized from what he saw and had to do on that god-forsaken ship. In fact, at the beginning of the third game, Isaac isn’t living the high life with a good job.

He lives on a back water colony in a shitty apartment with the rent overdue.

He’s such a real character that it blows other game’s personas out of the water. He’s been through so much and come out so bad mentally and physically, but he doesn’t let it make him a bad person.

And I freaking love him for that.

I really love the parallel between Martin/Jax this episode - even though I worry that this is foreshadowing Martin’s death - because they were both going through a similar issue: what will happen when Martin dies, and Jax is left alone? 

Martin dealt with it more directly by literally being told that he would die, and that Jax would be left to figure out being a hero on his own. Martin’s biggest concerns were that something was going to happen to Jax; that he would yet again be left being unable to save a partner (which also makes me wonder if there was more than simple terribleness to his dismissing Mick with a “your partner is dead”, but that’s an analysis for another day). But Jax being the one that was left alone? That’s something that he probably didn’t think about much before Mick brought it up, and now that he realizes that that’s a much more likely scenario, Martin will probably struggle with it a lot more. 

And as for Jax - I’m not sure he really thought about it much either. After all, he’s Martin’s life support system, he knows that if he goes, Martin goes. But as for Martin dying? I don’t think Jax has had that entirely figured out. And, it’s not like he was actively thinking about that this episode. But, we still got to see that parallel - Evil Firestorm told Jax “guess you forgot to bring your powers” and it was excellent because without Martin, Jax has no powers. Without him, Jax is going to be left without powers or tech, and he’ll have to learn how he fits in as a hero without his other half. And Jax did it. We already know that Jax is great at defending himself without Martin around, but we got to see it again, against a powered version of himself, and we got to see him win. So to see Martin’s realization and Jax’s ability to defend himself without powers was amazing; kudos to whoever wrote this in. 

anonymous asked:

Floriana in that freaking scene!! Her mouth movements. god. I love this woman's talent!! She really thinks Alex is about to break up with her. She can't even look at Alex!! Especially when Alex says "I think" her eyes look ahead more, just a quick movement, bracing herself and you can see her actually biting her tongue to keep the tears down!!! Floriana let me live!!

It’s just plain rude the emotions Floriana and Chyler make me feel. Maggie was bracing for the breakup. She had thought about this happening for awhile and it was far worse than she could have ever imagined. The facial expressions tell that exactly, anon. The journey of trembling chin, to pressing lips, and trying her hardest not to cry even though her body feels as though it might cave in on her because Alex was finally someone who understood her. But the change of pace when alex caresses her face. And tells her she doesn’t believe she is a bad person. BOY I AM DEAD. I need to do an analysis on this shit. Thanks for killing me anon!