a dead on analysis





So, a long-ass time ago, Rose and Dave had a conversation like this:

TT: After you go, what do you think will happen to me?
TT: Will I just cease to exist?
TG: i dont know
TG: i mean your whole timeline will
TG: maybe
TT: Maybe?
TT: Is there a chance it’ll continue to exist, and I’ll just be here alone forever?
TT: I’m not sure which outcome is more unsettling.
TG: the thing with time travel is
TG: you cant overthink it
TG: just roll with it and see what happens
TG: and above all try not to do anything retarded
TT: What do you think I should do?
TG: try going to sleep
TG: our dream selves kind of operate outside the normal time continuum i think
TG: so if part of you from this timelines going to persist thats probably the way to make it happen
TT: Ok.
TG: and hey you might even be able to help your past dream self wake up sooner without all that fuss you went through
TT: I think the true purpose of this game is to see how many qualifiers we can get to precede the word “self” and still understand what we’re talking about.

This is the most important sentence in Homestuck.

I am dead serious.

Well, OK, I mean, it’s pretty important for understanding some major Homestuck themes and shit or something like that.

Also, I totally should have said: Pre-Retcon Doomed Timeline Non-Dreamself Rose but ultimately about to become Dreamself Rose who semi-merged with Pre-Retcon Alpha Timeline Rose and Doomed Timeline Dave aka Davesprite AKA future Davepetasprite^2 or as we all call them around the office, Davepeta, had that conversation.

Maybe you begin to see what I’m going to talk about here.

One of the major frustrations a lot of people had with the retcon was that the characters we ended up with at the end weren’t the ones we’d come to love and know throughout the story. Was it even worth it, to lose the characters we loved to the tyranny of Game Over? The victorious kids, with the exception of John and Roxy, were other people, with other histories, other goals, and other choices.

Allow me to submit that that may be the whole point.

SBURB is cruel. We’ve known that for a long time. It’s cruel not as Caliborn is cruel, but as the cosmos is cruel, as a supernova is cruel. It wants what it wants, and doesn’t care about how that intersects with the needs of humanity. It wants to make universes through a complex game-playing method, and drags hapless, vulnerable adolescents along for the ride. And most of the time it doesn’t even succeed, leaving its champions to rot in a doomed timeline or similar! Skaia’s victory is an amoral creation myth where individual human beings are just the carved pieces on the chessboard. (I mean, the other ones. Not the carapacians.)

Again, let’s consider the theme of VIDEO GAMES vs. REAL LIFE.

Homestuck, let’s be real, is basically some postmodern horror timey-wimey Jumanji. For a generation way more familiar with pixels than cute little tokens It’s easy for teenagers and in fact, basically everyone, to fantasize about escaping their life and slipping into some game world forever, where they get to do awesome things and be a heroic person.

Homestuck makes that literal. Congratulations, everything you ever knew is dead. You will never see it again, except your internet friends, who turn out also to be your family and other important people. I mean, from a distance, SBURB sounds like an awesome game, right? You figure out who you are and get to wear a cool costume displaying that identity. You get to make anything you want and enjoy this hyperflexible mythology tailored to YOUR CHOICES. HS fans talk all the time about how cool it would be to play a real version of SBURB. That’s a big part of the appeal of SBURB fan adventures. They put you and your friends in the story. Or your favorite characters! It sounds like a fantasy come true.

The thing is, as fantastical as it is, it’s also really fucked up, and ultimately you and your friends are being used. By a giant frog to let it have its babies. By the universe. By a smug blue cloud thing that doesn’t care about you at all.

SBURB does not care about you at all.

The funny thing, SBURB features a mythology with so many layers and nuances and seemingly human motifs about growth and self that you might search for some grand ultimate meaning behind it, but it’s not even human enough to have a personality, to be something you can argue with or fight. It just is. It’s all the cruelty and power of a god without any of the dazzling personality. It’s empty. It just wants to make universes all day long, or fail trying. It is a great, weird tadpole-making machine that eats children.

One of the big ways it doesn’t care about you is its attitude toward the self. Humans and trolls and whatnot prefer not to be relentlessly duplicated. SBURB says, oh yeah, let’s make tons of copies of the player characters and use them for a lot of different purposes.

There’s the dreamself, an essential bifurcation of identity (you are now and were always the dream moon princex) that sometimes gets merged into god tier but sometimes doesn’t. There’s doomed timeline selves, who exist ultimately to augment an Alpha timeline whose Alphaness is decided very arbitrarily and frequently by Lord English. There’s the you who exists before a scratched session and the you who exists afterward, who are two different people but started as one baby in an act of ectobaby meteor duplication, your player self and your guardian self. Dead timeline yous fill up the dreambubbles made by the horrorterrors and get endlessly confused with each other. Any one of these could be the you experience being at any given moment, and which one it is entirely arbitrary. Don’t like being Dead Nepeta #47? Tough hoofbeast leavings, kiddo.

To top it all off, in Terezi: Remember, we learn that every single time we thought someone changed from one self to another, was resurrected or something like that, it was another act of duplication. For every time someone’s died, there’s another version of them waiting in the Dream Bubbles, surprised that they’re not the main character anymore. And we have no way of knowing which is which. Even John, good old everyman John, may or may not be the person who died three or four times. It’s really impossible to say whether we’ve been following the same person throughout our story, or just the illusion of the same person, like a horrifying cosmic flipbook.

The retcon is a return to this same theme. Ultimately, there’s very little new in the changes John makes to reality except that they drive the point home.

John’s friends all died. John and his friends won the game. These things are both true at the same time, except those things may not have happened to the same people. There was a happy ending. Hooray! For, um, some folks who may or may not be the ones we care about. In fact, it’s very confusing, because from Rose’s perspective, Roxy is dead but came back to life, and from Roxy’s perspective Rose is dead but came back to life, except also she came back to life as a weird tentacle catgirl of pure id and self –indulgence. So there’s that. Um. Which Rose are we rooting for again?

Or wait: is it none of them, because the first Rose died in a doomed timeline, hundreds of panels and a number of years ago?

There’s a tension here which one experiences between saying it’s okay because it’s still the same people, and saying it’s not okay, because it’s not the same people at all. This tension is exactly what we’re meant to wrestle with. To put it another way, Homestuck asks if identity can work in aggregate. Are all Johns John, all Roses Rose, and do they all share in what they accomplish? Or are the final victors only accidents created by the whims and needs of the frog baby machine?

What I’m saying, basically, is that the retcon, in the sense that it pointed out our confused relationship with these characters, was already here.

In interviews and questions put to him over the years, Hussie constantly compares HS and SBURB to other video games, particularly Mario, which he frequently returns to as a baseline of comparison that most of his readers will know. One answer, from a recent Hiveswap interview, is particularly revelatory. To the question of “Why do you kill off all your characters?” Hussie replies:

[…]HS is supposedly a story that is also a game. In games, the characters die all the time. How many times did you let Mario fall in the pit before he saved the princess? Who weeps for these Marios. In games your characters die, but you keep trying and trying and rebooting and resetting until finally they make it. When you play a game this process is all very impersonal. Once you finally win, when all is said and done those deaths didn’t “count”, only the linear path of the final victorious version of the character is considered “real”. Mario never actually died, did he? Except the omniscient player knows better. HS seems to combine all the meaningless deaths of a trial-and-error game journey with the way death is treated dramatically in other media, where unlike our oblivious Mario, the characters are aware and afraid of the many deaths they must experience before finally winning the game.

The big man hass the answer.

Homestuck is the story of those dead Marios.

Other works, like Undertale, have engaged with this topic as well. But one of the major differences between Undertale and Homestuck is that in Undertale, between “lives,” one’s consciousness is preserved. In Homestuck, it’s discontinuous, and the value of the overall trial-error process is called into question by the fact that you, the player, may not even get to experience the victory. What meaning does victory hold if that is the case?

So, to put it in a nice thesis format:

One of the central themes of Homestuck is the challenge of reconciling an arbitrary and destructive pattern of growth and victory with the death and suffering you experienced along the way. Homestuck asks: is victory worthwhile if you’re not you anymore? And would you be able to know?

What even is the self? Is there such a thing?

If you were left feeling somewhat disconcerted by our heroes’ tidy victory and departure to their cosmic prize, or by how which Rose gets the spotlight is so deeply, deeply arbitrary, there’s a good reason for that. You’re supposed to be.

The philosophical problem of Wacky Cat Rose is insignificant next to the bullshit of SBURB.

And don’t forget—John and Roxy’s denizens helped them achieve the retcon. Ultimately, the victory they achieved was mediated by the same amoral system of SBURB, and was a victory over an enemy, Caliborn, whose power was created, perpetuated, and ended by that same system.

Okay, so here’s where it gets contentious. There’s an argument to be made, which I’m not sure how I feel about, that some of the character development that could have been in post-retcon Act 6 was left out precisely to push this feeling and play up this tension. Note that this is not the same thing as saying that they were deliberately badly written, but that they’re deliberately written to make us uneasy.That Hussie deliberately played with the balance between making these retconned characters feel familiar and making them feel eerily different to leave us feeling uneasy with the result.

I’m not sure I like that idea. It smacks a little too much of that “everything is perfect” thinking that comes sometimes from the far Metastuck camp. Some of the differences may also be the result of flawed writing. (See: Jane and Jake’s character arcs, which I might talk about later.) And I want to be able to critique those flaws. Ultimately, I think we still needed more time and development to figure out who these new people were—even if our goal was ultimately to compare them to their earlier selves. And again, more conscious acknowledgement of the problem from our heroes—especially John, the linchpin in this last and biggest act of duplication—might have helped drive this theme home.

Still, I think the Problem of Dead Marios is one of the most fundamental questions of Homestuck, maybe THE biggest question. It’s essential to understand it to understand what Hussie’s doing—or attempting to do— in the retcon and the ending.

I don’t know that Homestuck offers us a clear answer to that question. There are some confusions around the issue, too. Where do merged selves fit in, exactly? Clearly they’re a big part of the discussion, because Hussie spends some time in Act 6, especially near the end bringing the identity-merging powers of the Sprites to the forefront. (See also: the identity-merged nightmare that is Lord English.)  Can we even come up with a clear answer to what it means when a dead Mario returns to life grotesquely fused with Toad? How does he beat the game? Does he tell himself that the princess is in another castle? Or what if he merges with Peach? Are they their own princess? How do they know if they’re in the right castle?

Um. Anyway—

Interestingly, it’s not all grotesque—spritesplosions suggest that personalities that are too different don’t stay together long, so a fusion might rely on some inherent compatibility between the two players. Erisol’s self-loathing, sure, but also Fefeta’s cheerfulness. Davepeta seems to be a way of bringing out the best in their players, a way of getting Davesprite past his angst and Nepeta past her fear. Honestly, I know a lot of people don’t like Davepeta as the ending of these two characters’ arcs, but I can’t help but love it. They’re the ultimate coolkid. Cool enough to know they don’t have to be cool. Regular Dave got there, too, of course. But was his retcon assist from John ultimately any different?

Then, of course, we come to Davepeta’s speech to Jade in one of the last few updates before Collide. Davepeta suggests that there is such a thing as an ultimate self beyond the many different selves one piles up throughout the cosmos. A set of principles that describes who you are that’s larger than any individual instance of you. Your inherent Mariohood. (Maybe this is comparable to your Classpect identity, which attempts to describe who you are?) Davepeta even tells Jade, strikingly, that one might learn to see beyond the barriers between selves. Be the ur-self, in practice, rather than theory. This would be incredible news for Jade, who wrestles with the issue of different selves perhaps more than any other character. (There’s a lot to say about Jade.)

Honestly, I wish this ur-self idea had been developed more, and I honestly expected it to be. It doesn’t fully come to fruition, I feel. (Same goes for Davepeta’s character. Ohhhh, ZING!) I’m not sure it entirely makes philosophical sense, especially with fusion—I mean, doesn’t Davepeta themself disprove it? Or at least complicate it? Like, are they part of the ur-Dave or the ur-Nepeta? They seem to imply they’re BOTH? Does that even work? Does that mean that Marieach is all the Peaches and Marios at once?

(In fact, Bowser/Peach/Mario are but the three manifestations of one eternal principle. Also, Bowser/Peach are the true power couple. Read my fanfiction plz.)

And what, say, of Dirk, who ultimately ends up rejecting aspects of his other selves? It feels like there’s a lot more you could say here, and I wonder if Hussie would have said more, if he’d had time. What’s weird is, none of our victorious kids never reach an ur-self (though to their descendants, they become archetypal to some degree), which one might have expected. They’re just individual selves who happened to get lucky. Does that make them representative of the whole? It feels like something’s missing here, or like something got dropped at the last minute.

Same goes for the idea of the Ultimate Riddle. You’d be forgiven for missing it, but there’s been this riddle in the background lore of SBURB that seems to have something to do with personal agency in this overwhelming, overarching system. Karkat called it predestination, saying something like “ANY HOPE YOU HAD OF DOING THINGS OTHERWISE WAS JUST A RUSE.” But others have interpreted it more positively. My favorite interpretation, from bladekindeyewear: the answer to the Riddle is that YOU shape the timeline through your existence, personality, and choices, even when it looks like it’s all predestination. Ultimately it’s your predestination, your set of events, based deeply on your nature, that you are creating. Someone like Caliborn can use his innate personality to achieve power; someone like John might be able to use it to achieve freedom.

I definitely expected something like that to be expressed more explicitly. Like, a big ah-ha moment that helps John or Jade or whoever understand how to escape Caliborn’s system. Something like that would have been very helpful for a lot of our heroes, actually, who’ve been pushed around by Skaia and SBURB together, in finding a cathartic ending.  Once again, I wonder if something was dropped or rushed because there wasn’t time to put it all in. There’s places where you can see hints of that Answer being implied, maybe? But it’s kind of ambiguous.

You can see how the Answer to the Ultimate Riddle ties into some of Davepeta’s ideas. If your personality, the rules of your behavior are a fundamental archetype that goes beyond each individual self, then the answer to whether it matters if one self of yours makes it through to victory is an emphatic YES. You are all of those people, and by winning one round with Skaia, you’ve won the whole game, despite all the arbitrary challenges and deaths it heaps upon you along the way.

This may strike some as too positive for Skaia’s brutality, or again, some way of excusing flaws in many characters’ arcs, or unfair things that happen to them. To be fair, I don’t know that Davepeta’s necessarily meant to be taken as authoritative or the voice of Hussie. They may simply be offering a purrspective.

Hussie not choosing to come right out and engage with the Ultimate Riddle leaves the question of Dead Marios and what they mean for the victorious versions of our cast very open. I like that in some ways—let the reader decide—but I can’t help but wish we had more to work with in making that decision. Plus, it might have brought the thematic messages of Homestuck all the way home to tie them more closely to our characters and their experiences—character development being one of the things most people found most lacking in the ending.

NEXT TIME: All that wacky gnostic stuff probably

The scene that killed me

This. This did me in. Not only because of how much Akutagawa actually cared about Kyouka, but also because of his narration about his mentor, Dazai.

According to Akutagawa

He met a certain person

Joined a certain organization

And the hope for death in his eyes


#transformationtuesday So, that’s 3 years ago to now. It’s a truly unflattering pic, and I sort of don’t even want to post this, but it’s a pretty candid moment to capture how I felt. It’s real strange for me to think about and is even harder to look at, but in that time, everything was going great on paper and I was able to “succeed in life” as long as I distracted and disassociated myself to extremes and covered myself up- but in the silence of the evenings, alone with myself, I just ached and felt dead/numb. I avoided introspection or critical self analysis, hated being confronted by how much I chose to not care about myself (mostly via how bad I looked) and felt completely and increasingly out of touch with myself. It’s only been through massive self-reflection, love, honesty, trust, and healthy relationships, that that’s slowly changed and bit by bit Ive been able to slough off most of the damaged bits and come back.

From Dusk till Dawn

Another long overdue meta because Im shit lol

Brief analysis about the movie based on the official posters. 

First poster - sunset/dusk

Second poster - sunrise/dawn

Sunset and Sunrise interpretations and meaning through arts and literature: Death and Rebirth, Beginning and End. Sunset often describe that the day ‘has ended’ and thus represents the soukoku’s reign with shin-soukoku finally taking the spot light, sunrise: a new beginning. 

It is significant to notice that in the first poster (sunset), soukoku is facing their backs on the viewers like how most stories end, waiting as the sun set when in the second poster (sunrise, the sky is bright this time) shin-soukoku takes the lead while soukoku, the predecessors, are in the background as the guide to their successors. 

The different looks of Judith Grimes

The “Guys, I really don’t think it’s a good idea” look

The “That’s my favorite game” look

The “Hey, brother” look

The “I’m totally agree with you” look

The “Mum you’re so beautiful” look

The “My gosh, can you just stop talking to me” look

The “Who do you think you are” look


“Well I’m the real star of the show so I can look right into the camera if I want! Do you have a problem with that ?”

This little one is becoming my new favorite actress! She deserves an Emmy 🙈!

Oh by the way. To any followers who aren’t into SnK..... I’m really sorry. You’re going to have to suffer every Saturday until it’s over. My condolences.

I just found a notebook of mine from when I was a little kid and the outside is decorated with rainbow smileys, and phrases like “LUCKY ME” and “SUPER COOL” in really cheesy wordart. And the inside of the cover, in scrawly, backwards-letter handwriting says “DEATH JOURNAL”. The only thing written in the notebook are descriptions of various dead wildlife I’d found and analysis of how it might’ve died. I think that’s probably all you need to know about me as a person

Chatacter study for the new bsd character : shibusawa tatsuhiko

Another character who is prettier than me!! Thank you harukawa!!!! Ivan lose his throne and its a battle of hair between them!!!

lets start!

 I believe shibusawa will be the villain in here.. Demonology has a tone of “powers” that can be used for abilities in the bsd universe. Plus shibusawa studied eroticism, to put it simply lust. (I think there was a fic about that… and also for the skk fans out there , yes its also homosexuality)

The point is that lust is also a demon power (the seven deadly sins). So kafka has two birds with on stone. Also he can use it in many ways, for a example as nightmares : you see what you disare the most and that hunts you.

Small possibility to help with skk characters as to who or what they were together and how they are tranform to how we meet them now. Plus eroticism has Sadist and masochism in it, which is mori/Dazai relationship, so its highly possible to see some of their study season and by this mean the punishment mori does are sadistic , while Dazai being like this now (computerized, cachettes, stoic and many times he moves the yarns behind the scenes) is a particularity of masochism. 

The fact  that shibusawa has such history with eroticism, can also decide the plot of Dead Apple movie.

One last thing that is trivial. THE APPLE. The apple means “apology” or “curse/evil” or “knowledge” or “love”. Dead Apple movie can contain all this with shibusawa as the villain.

Curse/evil : shibusawa himself , coz of his ability (lust is an evil thing and a curse of its users and the people around them. Its also destructive at times)

Knowledge : its Dazai. The younger mafia executive, the brain of the team and every title he has , prove its knowledge. Even in episode 1, yes . His suicide has meaning. How could he test atsushi otherwise if he had in him the feeling to save people???? Every move is calculated)

Love : not only eros or love between lovers. Skk were together for years and they were partners. A form of love in companionship. And I dont believe that Dazai was an asshole from the day one. Mori did him like that , so when chuuya met him, he may was able to be a friend even for a little. Also the trust they have is a form of love that as time passed lost its meaning coz of what mori did to Dazai and made him “heartless”. Also love towards others. It doesn’t have to be skk. Chuuya’s love for Kouyou, Dazai’s love for his teammates and his friendship with oda, can be used in here.

And now Apology: I believe that this has to do with Oda. Oda push Dazai out of the mafia to save people and to do good for every bad thing he did. But there are some things that keep him behind. So now he tries to make up for them. Q ’s rescue can be one of it. Kouyou’s not torture can be one of that. Chuuya “bring me back to base safe” IS one of that, but its not ideal coz chuuya doesn’t know and he thinks that Dazai abandon him once more. So I would like to see in the movie , Dazai to finally apology for the wrong he did toward chuuya. Coz he did wrong mostly to chuuya. Not the teasing, but the feeling of your partner/friend, the person who you literally gave your heart ( I mean corruption) to keep you alive, left you in the dark, to fight yours (but also his) demons, with the consequences of killing a human or failing to do that, left you without a world only to came back 4 years later to use you for intel and then leave again as if you have never meet before. Only then Dazai can move forward into what Oda wanted him to be..

A good person, but in the some time chuuya can also move forward.

 Sskk also can have a bit of lesson. To see what it takes to have a good partnership for both parties. And if he is the villain , with such a strong power he can be a good  appointment. Or even solve some of their demons.

Again that my hypothesis and only if Shibusawa is the villain.

Thank you for your time! have a nice day!


This one goes out to all my English majors.

sorry I’ve been dead, I still have an in-depth story analysis to write

It is my firmest and truest hc that Bill definitely does all he can to impress Dipper, so he joins the track team and the debate team and the paranormal activity club (which is less a club and more a bunch of geeks) (he only joins because Dipper’s a member) (it’s great) (it’s really awesome press for the “club”).

Another hc is that Dipper watches all of Bill’s activities and contests when he can, and they spend lots of gooey icky mushy time together.

also Hipster!Dipper strikes again

Is Jimin's song "Lie" about coming out to Kook?

So does Jungkook love “Lie” so much because it’s about him and Jimin’s relationship?

Don’t come for me y'all. I know there are some people out there who believe that “Lie” is about Jimin coming out. Well maybe that’s why Jungkook likes it so much. Maybe it’s because it’s about Jimin coming out and liking Jungkook?

And we know Jungkook likes “Lie” a lot because he promotes it A LOT (examples: during Bon voyage 2, in the hotel room, in Run episode 12 I believe). So maybe that’s why.

It’s just a theory. No hate please. Let me know what u think

anonymous asked:

You said once that mCorrin and fCorrin had slightly different quirks. If you don't mind me asking, how so?

I don’t mind at all (。•̀ᴗ-)✧

I didn’t notice at first (I played Birthright with a female avatar and Conquest with a male avatar) but somewhere in my 929 hours of playing Fates I started noticing their personalities, behaviors and the way they interact with other characters differ. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it at first, but after several playthroughs it became obvious.

F!Kamui: mischievous, peppy and (maybe it’s just my imagination but I have this impression every time I switch back between male and female avatars) smiles more.

M!Kamui: earnest, socially awkward/gauche, a bit uptight and (again, it strikes me every time) tends to keep a straight/poker face more often.

The rest under the READ MORE ‘cause it’s *ahem* QUITE LENGTHY.

Keep reading

Don’t even talk to me.    I’m so.. hhnnGGAAGHAAHADAHAAAあぁぁぁぁぁぁぁぁ

Ok, so here, Yuuri says


(intai made, boku no koto, onegaishimasu)

Which is translated as “Please be my coach until I retire!” in the subtitles. However Yuuri isn’t actually saying “be my coach”, he’s saying “look after me” or “I’m under your care”. He’s entrusting his whole self, physically, emotionally, and spiritually to Victor with this line, because he trusts him just that much.

Yuuri gives himself over to Victor, and that’s why he responds with a kiss to Yuuri’s knuckles and


(puropo-zu mitai da ne)

“It’s like a proposal, isn’t it”

To which Yuuri sighs in acceptance because he too knows it’s like a proposal, and he is totally fine with that. No rejection, no little groan, just a small sigh, contrasting his reaction to episode four when Victor asked whether he should be his lover.

You know what seals the deal right here in this scene though? It’s Victor’s next line


(yuuri ga zutto intaishinakya iinoni na)

“It’d be nice if you never retire”

Victor says in return that he always wants to be by Yuuri’s side, and that he wants to look after Yuuri for a long, long time.

But that’s not it no no. The way Victor expresses his want to be by Yuuri’s side is strangely familiar don’t you think?

It has been brought up before, but Japanese people tend to express their emotions and wants in a roundabout way, they don’t really straight out say it. So if we jump all the way back to episode two, when Victor asks Yuuri what his wish was if he were to win Onsen on Ice, Yuuri says


(vikutoru to katsudon tabetai. korekara mo ippai katte, ippai katsudon tabetai)

“I want to eat katsudon with you (Victor). From here, I want to win a lot, and eat a lot of katsudon!”

It was where this whole love story aspect of the anime began, and it was through Yuuri’s roundabout way of saying “I want you to stay, Victor”.

In fact, we can observe Victor gradually picking up some of these Japanese traits, in episode three, during the Onsen on Ice event, there was the all-important


(katsudon daisuki dayo)

“I love katsudon.”

This is still quite straightforward, Victor says that he loves and supports Yuuri through the line. So when we compare this to the latest episode, with his “It’d be nice if you never retire”, which is around the same level of indirect as Yuuri’s “I want to eat katsudon with you”, we are able to really appreciate how much Yuuri has grown on Victor, and how much they both love and want each other.

same yuuri, same

not 2 beat a dead shallow media analysis horse here but it’s very rich for Joss “Tragically Suffocated to Death Last Night Trying to Quip With A Sexy Lady’s Foot In His Mouth” Whedon to do the whole like, ironic-misogyny-to-mock-stupid-misogynists routine (e.g. jokingly retweeting “why isn’t there a male version of batgirl” or whatever) when he is, himself, wholly and unironically a weird thin skinned misogynist in age-progressed Boss Baby’s clothing, and when even his beloved canonical work is undeniably tinged with weird drooly femdom shit & also like, a whole taxonomy of racist elements ranging from the overt to the covertly overt, and also Dollhouse exists so like….. you can’t make fun of That Guy, Joss “Died As He Lived, Sucking on Toes” Whedon, you Are that guy, quite permanently and incurably so

e--wills  asked:

Gobber lost quite a bit when Stoick died, but I haven't seen his grief addressed much. Any headcanons about how he struggled with the loss of his best (and maybe only?) friend? :,(

Oh man. Yeah, that’s some kind of hurt right there. Because to really appreciate his grieving, you’d have to acknowledge who Stoick was to him. The sort of history they had. That they’d known each other for practically their entire lives, confided in each other, practically co-parented together… I’ve tried to lay it out before, but I stopped before hitting up any movie events.

Gobber’s pretty pragmatic outside his tall tales. He understands the concept of Occupational Hazard. He’s lived through war. He’s lost friends. But Stoick was The Friend.

At first there’s so much going on that even grief is hard to pay proper attention to. There’s political chaos, social disarray, so, so much work to be done, and a young man wearing a very heavy cloak.

But Hiccup’s got people now – long gone is the boy solely reliant on Gobber and Stoick – and the young chief begins striding into a new era, aided by supporters. Gobber’s happy to watch his back, and to continue to support him in all the ways he supported his father.

Slowly, routine returns; a semblance of normalcy. That’s when the grief rises.

Gobber never stops talking to Stoick.

It starts with thoughtless comments: “Looks like a storm, eh Stoh?” and “Ack, Stoick, you’ll never believe what that damn boy’s done now…”

They fall comfortably enough from his mouth and are then left to hang in the air until realization rejoins with a sharp, cold snap.

After a while he’ll, mindfully, direct such comments to the sky. Then to the statue when it’s complete. Gobber finds himself at its feet, most often. Like it’s their new spot

Sometimes he gives it updates on the village, and his son, and his wife, but mostly he uses it to complain, as he often complained to Stoick. He only wishes it would complain back. Then they’d be complete again.

He knows Hiccup visits the statue too. Gives it updates, mutters frustrations. Gobber puts in great effort to never cross paths there.

Sometimes Gobber’s feet take him up to the Chief’s house before his head hollers that Stoick won’t be there. Sure, the occupants would welcome him. Hiccup would open the door and invite him for shared food and ale, where he’d enjoy warmth and conversation and, perhaps, even a laugh. He can’t do it. He can’t watch Hiccup hand him a mug, and sit where he sat, wearing that cursed cloak, and go through the motions of a brotherhood that simply would never be replicated. He always turns around and stalks back to his quiet room.

He’ll sit at the same bench in the Meadhall and stare at the spot on his right where Stoick sat, as though willing it to be filled. He’ll snap at anyone who dares to.

Sometimes he sees Skullcrusher’s shadow pass underfoot and his heart will jump into his throat, only to look up and see Eret in flight. (And Eret had the saddle changed. It’s different. Gobber didn’t know until after the fact because Hiccup had done it himself… somehow worried that Gobber would find irrational anger in the act) 

…and he had.)

He’s gotten into it with Valka on a couple of occasions, all of which were his fault, instigated by him, but she behaves cowed as though she’s responsible and it never helps his temper. Its unfair to her, life isn’t so black and white, but grief allows a small, petty part of Gobber to grow and rage that he lost a lifelong companion, and that he helped raise Hiccup through a war with dragons, and he stuck by Stoick through the past 20 years, and beyond that, and that he, more than anyone (save, perhaps, Hiccup) deserved to grieve to their fullest extent. In the early months all it took was a wrong comment and he would let her know such feelings with a harsh, whiplike comment. He’d walk away from such moments warmed by the soothing balm of satisfaction. Then, always, it would cool into something hollow and ugly, and he’d be left with remorse, and self-loathing, and wishing his best friend were there.

He’s crankier, without his outlet. His banter feels one-sided. He busies himself with saddles and weapons and repairs, he spends more free time with Grump, even if its just sleeping (a dangerous draw, a way to shut out reality at the worst of times), but he’s lonely. So incredibly lonely. A chunk of his life burned away with Stoick on that ship

Even as he heals, and finds new drive with a fresh apprentice, and watches the village grow and bloom under the shadow of Stoick’s likeness, there’s a vacuum in Gobber’s life that never gets filled.