a day in the bahamas

anonymous asked:

He definitely went for some project, that's the only way going the for seven hours on his own makes sense... Unless he's checking out honeymoon locations... But does that mean a solo project?

an unexplainable 7 hour day trip to the bahamas with no further clarification? something is definitely brewing.. and here are some facts: dan started following a director for a television and online video production company on twitter back in early march, and apparently phil had been following them for quite a while as well. the company makes thing such as documentaries, music videos, and short films. it’s also a london based company which makes it entirely plausible and also convenient for dan and phil to be working with them. what’s interesting is that the production company itself followed dnp + flipside on twitter all at the exact same time, shortly after the director did. and the fact that all of this happened in early march makes it almost obvious that this “secret project” could be directly related to dan’s ominous comments about march being a challenging month and asking for us to remind him about “that week in march” in 5 months, which would take us all the way to august aka a possible set release date for this “project.” it is entirely possible that dan could be working on a solo project especially considering the fact that spontaneous travel has led to solo projects in the past, aka dan’s esports documentary, but i wouldn’t rule out the fact that it could involve both of them in one way or another. we predicted them moving, we predicted dan rebranding, and considering we have some real concrete evidence of there being something in the works, i wouldn’t be surprised if something arises in the next several months

SELFISH (Part Two) - Stiles Stilinski smut

Title: Red or White?

Summary: As you prepare to leave on a business trip, Stiles takes it upon himself to pay you a visit and drain your wine supply.

Warnings: NSFW! Unprotected sex, alcohol and swearing. 

Word count: 4.7k

A/N: Tbh, the entire interaction with Stiles in this part is one of my favourites…I just. Fuck. Things are getting good, guys! 

Also, just thought I should flag that the next part is going to be split into two halves! It’s both because of length but also because there’s too much plot development to shove into one part (it’ll become clear once you’ve read it…). 

Happy reading! As always, please please please let me know if you liked this. It’d mean a lot to me. Kinda sucks when you don’t get much back on something you’ve spent a lot of time writing lmao

Song of the part: wRoNg - Zayn ft. Kehlani. 


Originally posted by itsyoungbeliever

Previously on SELFISH

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Countries, in alphabetical order, that have an Independence Day celebrating their departure from the United Kingdom: Afghanistan, Antigua and Barbuda, The Bahamas, Bahrain, Belize, Botswana, Brunei, Cameroon, Canada, Cyprus, Dominica, Egypt, The Gambia, Ghana, Guyana, India, Iraq, Israel, Jamaica, Jordan, Kenya, Kiribati, Kuwait, Lesotho, Malawi, Malaysia, Maldives, Malta, Myanmar, Nigeria, Pakistan, Qatar, Saint Kitts and Nevis, Saint Lucia, Saint Vincent and the Grenadines, Seychelles, Sierra Leone, Solomon Islands, Somalia, South Africa, Sri Lanka, Trinidad and Tobago, Tuvalu, Uganda, the United Arab Emirates, The United States, Zambia, and Zimbabwe.

Countries, in alphabetical order, that don’t deserve an Independence Day celebrating their departure from the European Union: The United Kingdom.

SELFISH (Part 3.5) - Stiles Stilinski smut

Summary: With your business trip finally upon you, you drag a reluctant Liam to the Bahamas. Five days with your largest business rivals, cheating ex-boyfriend and Stiles - what could possibly go wrong? (Probably a lot of things).

Word count: Amazingly, 7.6k. Blame the smut. Always blame the smut.

Warnings: we’re getting kinky. This chapter deals with elements of BDSM including *unravels scroll* daddy kink, bondage, blindfold, orgasm denial. Also Theo dancing. 

A/N: I know some people aren’t a fan of daddy kink, so pls delight in the fact that you can skip over it! It holds little relevance to the plot other than emphasising their relationship and providing y’all w some filth. It’s very obvious where the smut begins.

However, if you do, MAKE SURE YOU READ THE END OF THIS PART! The last section of this chapter is absolutely crucial for the rest of the fic. 

Song of the part: Acquainted - The Weeknd


Originally posted by dazzadazzledazz

oh? is that drama I smell?

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SELFISH (Part 3) - Stiles Stilinski smut

Title: Mayhem in the Bahamas

Summary: With your business trip finally upon you, you drag a reluctant Liam to the Bahamas. Five days with your largest business rivals, cheating ex-boyfriend and Stiles - what could possibly go wrong? (Probably a lot of things).

Warnings: NSFW! Contains shower sex :)))) 

Word count: 6.2k

A/N: Fun fact: this part contains one of my favourite lines of the entire fic. :))) Anyway. I decided the fic was too slow-paced so decided to fuck a couple of things up :) Love me some drama. 


Song of the part: Pure - Hey Violet


Originally posted by missspl

we got the dark stiles gifs going…mysterious…

Previously on SELFISH

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There are many ways in which Jeon Jungkook shows his love for you, but on some nights you can almost give them a color. On days like this, you see white. 

Originally posted by jkguks

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Themes: ceo jungkook au

Genre: Smut, Fluff

Word Count: 1,481

Summary: Jeon Jungkook takes you to the tropics for a vacation.

“It sure is cold in here for a tropical island, Jungkook.”
“Want me to warm you up, baby?”

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Merry Christmas, You Filthy Trashmouth Ch 4

Author’s Note: this is the longest chapter so far!! Thank you all for being so patient i know christmas was a week ago oof…im trying to decide whether to do a filler before the new years chapter? I dont wanna make you guys wait any longer! Lmk what you think!!! big thanks to @greywatertrashmouth for assuring me that my fic is soft enough

Pairing: Reddie

Warnings: Swearing

Word Count: 4000 (exactly 4000 can u beliebe)

Summary: As soon as they pulled into Richie’s driveway he grabbed Eddie’s arm so he could not exit the car yet. He stared at Eddie’s face for way too long, trying to deduce how he could explain the huge fucking mistake he’d made. “For the next three weeks,” Richie couldn’t possibly bear to look in Eddie’s eyes as the next words tumbled out of his trashmouth, “you have to pretend to be my boyfriend.”

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3

Richie was absolutely certain that this ‘fake dating’ shit was the worst idea he’d ever come up with in his fucked little mind. He had gotten so used to being able to touch and kiss Eddie all the time that he didn’t think he’d ever be able to stop. He’s going to have to find a new roommate, maybe switch schools, and start his life over again because goddamn did he fuck up. Just barely is he able to stop himself from touching Eddie too much in public, but at home it is a different story. Richie’s parents hardly give him a second thought anyways, so technically he shouldn’t have to be so loving at home, but it isn’t like he could stop himself either way. He’s beginning to act all ‘coupley’ even when they aren’t in his parents line of sight.

On Christmas Eve, Eddie and Richie decided to buy a tube of sugar cookie dough and cut out little Christmas shapes to decorate with sprinkles. Richie had never had the privilege to make cookies for Santa as a kid, and it had been several years since Eddie had the motivation to deal with his mother for such a long period of time. They were both having the time of their lives shaping and decorating reindeer and stockings. Richie had fashioned a dick out of some of his dough. “Eating that is gonna be the most action you’ll ever get in your life,” Eddie had said while dousing it in red sprinkles.

Fifteen minutes later and the cookies were ready to be placed on cooling racks. Eddie busied himself with the task of getting the cookies off the tray. Richie could find no better way to occupy his time than to wrap his arms around Eddie’s waist and rest his chin heavy on his shoulder. He pressed his chest flush against Eddie’s back and grinned at the sharp inhale it earned.

“Y’know there’s other places to watch me move cookies from,” He didn’t dare turn his head to look at Richie, “You don’t have to be so goddamned close.”

“Yeah, but if I’m farther away I can’t do this,” Richie started pressing soft kisses to the base of Eddie’s neck. Eddie tilted his head back and braced himself against the counter as Richie worked upwards and began biting at his throat. Richie’s hands were burning at Eddie’s hips.

“Richie,” Eddie had to stifle a moan, “Your parents aren’t here, Richie.”

Oh, right, Richie’s heart plummeted, This is all fake. He doesn’t want me like that. Richie tensed and immediately drew his hands away. He pressed a quick kiss to Eddie’s cheek anyways and leaned over the cookies on the counter. He shoved the dick-shaped cookie in his mouth and looked back at Eddie, “Haven’t you ever heard of ‘kiss the cook’, Eds?”

Richie couldn’t keep brushing these things off forever and he knew it.

That didn’t mean he was close to stopping. Hell, he was far from it. Christmas morning Richie woke up as usual to the smaller boy pressed against his back. Their legs were tangled together and Richie held onto Eddie’s arms to keep them wrapped around him. He felt Eddie’s breath against the back of his neck and concluded that he was still asleep. Neither of them had ever discussed the fact that they woke up in that position, or a very similar one, every morning despite starting the night on opposite sides of the bed. It was awkward at first, Richie nearly had a heart palpitation when he found himself curled up to Eddie and Eddie’s hands tangled in his hair on the first night. However they had both gotten accustomed to it, considering they were doing pretty intimate things on a regular basis anyways.

Richie was often the first to wake up, and more times than not he would let Eddie keep sleeping as long as he’d like. But today was different, it was Christmas morning. Richie already knew from months of sharing a dorm with him and the week he had already spent waking up next to him that Eddie was absolutely not a morning person. There was no way that Richie would be able to wake him up with a light shake of his shoulder, so he opted for the next best thing. Wiggling out of Eddie’s vice grip he grabbed the pillow that his head was previously resting on and lifted it above his head, bringing it down hard onto Eddie’s face. Eddie’s eyes flew open as he recoiled from the shock that woke him up, “What the ever-loving fuck, you cock sucker!” Richie was already sprinting towards the door when the pillow came flying at him.

Richie made his way downstairs knowing that Eddie would be close behind him ready to chew his ear off. However, he stopped in his tracks at the sight of the bare living room. There were no presents and no tree in sight. I guess they must have forgotten I existed when I went off to college. In his daze he didn’t even notice Eddie joining his side and yelling at him for his childish actions.

“Hello? Earth to Richie I’m trying to yell at you here!” Eddie waved a hand in front of his face.

“There’s no tree.”

Eddie followed Richie’s gaze to the empty living room, “So? There hasn’t been a tree there all week. Were you expecting one to just magically appear overnight?”

“I don’t know what I was expecting,” Richie chewed on his bottom lip, “Maybe for my parents not to forget me.”

All the anger inside of Eddie melted at the statement. He looked up at Richie with concern in his eyes, “I have an idea,” he began towards the front door, “wait here.”

His eyes followed Eddie out the front door. Is he gonna go chop down a tree in the middle of the woods? He almost considered trying to follow Eddie when the front door opened again and he appeared with the Charlie Brown tree that they had left in the back of Richie’s car.

“Oh, God, Eddie. No, not that shitty little fucker.”

“You were the one complaining about having no tree! So it’s either my ass of a tree or nothing.”

Richie threw his head back and sighed overdramatically before begrudgingly helping Eddie carry the tree up to his room. Every time a mass of pine needles fell Richie would complain about the tree giving birth on his steps. They set it down next to the bed and Eddie ordered Richie to find a string of lights while he reorganized the ornaments. Richie complained that the decorations weren’t going to make the tree any easier to look at, but went to get the lights anyways. He would never admit it, but the tree did look kind of cute when it was all spruced up.

As soon as Eddie was happy with the way the tree looked, they both gathered their presents and placed them under the tree. Richie demanded that Eddie open his gifts first. Eddie reached for the small, squishy looking package. Richie’s face immediately grew red and he started giggling uncontrollably. Eddie shot him a look but continued to open the gift anyways. As soon as Eddie pulled out the red booty shorts with a disgusted look on his face Richie fell back in a fit of laughter.

“Shut the fuck up, Richie! I am not wearing these.”

“Don’t hurt my pride, Eddie Bear. I bought them for you, so you have to wear them at least once.”

“I’ll wear them to your funeral.”

“I’ll take it! Now open this one,” Richie handed a crudely wrapped spherical package to Eddie, “But you aren’t allowed to use it without me, okay?”

He then watched as Eddie opened up the bath bomb and consequently screamed at the residue that was left on his hands. He wiped the silver dust on his brand new booty shorts. It took Eddie a moment to understand Richie’s prior comment, but when he did he mentioned that the only way he was gonna use it was to shove it down Richie’s throat and choke him to death. Richie found that comment really sexy and did not fail to make it known to Eddie.

The last present under the tree from Richie was the most neatly wrapped package of his lot. Eddie tore the paper off to reveal a picture of Richie sitting on Santa’s lap at the mall. He had the biggest smile plastered on his face and an arm slung around the mall Santa’s shoulders.

“What did you ask for?”

“Excuse me?”

“You got me a picture of you on Santa’s lap, dumbass. What did you ask him for?”

Richie considered lying to Eddie, saying he wanted a lamborghini or a pet saber-toothed tiger, “I told him that I have the most adorable best friend in the world named Eddie Kaspbrak. And I asked him that we’d stay together forever and that you’d never stop loving me and maybe one day we’d get married and honeymoon in the Bahamas,” Richie tried to be as sincere as he possibly could.

However, it was to no avail, “That’s funny, Richie,” Eddie just kept staring at the picture in his hands and let out a soft chuckle. How many Goddamn ways do I have to say it to you?

Eddie started to pick up his first gift for Richie when he stopped him, “Hold your horses, Eds. I’ve got something else for ya.”

Eddie watched as Richie crossed the room to his desk and pulled out a ratty-looking, old notebook. He sat back down in front of Eddie and placed the book in his hands. Eddie had to take a minute to read the front cover. Scrawled across the front in Richie’s chicken scratch was the phrase ‘Reasons I Love Eddie Spaghetti’, “Richie, what is this?”

“It’s a journal I started to keep on the first day of college. I wanted to write down all the good things that happened to me and the things that made me happy so that hopefully when I’m done with college I can look back on it as the best time of my life. I figured it would be easier if I write that shit down and read it over sometimes. But after the first few days I realized I was just writing about you, so I did that instead.”

Eddie looked at Richie in awe, he thought he felt tears brimming his eyes, “Richie, that’s so,” he smiled wide down at the book in his lap, “I don’t even know what to say.”

“Don’t say anything,” Richie leaned over to flip the journal to the first page, “Just read it.”

Day 1:

Today I met my roommate and goddamn is he the cutest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. His name’s Eddie Kaspbrak and he wore a stupid-ass dress shirt and khakis on fucking move-in day, but hell does he know how to work it. When we met he actually smiled so big that I almost forgot my name and he even laughed at some of my dick jokes and I swear it was only, like, 60% pity.

Day 2:

Eddie asked me how I took my coffee this morning and actually went out of his way to get me some. I swear who the fuck paired me with such an utter angel?

Day 3:

Eddie and I were both heading to the same building this afternoon for class and he offered to walk me there. My class started about an hour after his, but I couldn’t pass up an opportunity to hang out with the Spaghetti Man! We had a really nice conversation about the dining hall cuisine. And he only yelled at me a little bit when I put my arm around his shoulder and called him Eds. I swear I could talk to him for hours about nothing at all.

Day 4:

My last lecture ran so fucking late that the dining hall was closed before I could get anything to eat. I guess Eddie must have noticed because when I got back to the dorm there was a plate on my desk piled with two slices of pizza, chicken tenders, and a boatload of tater tots. My man knows how to treat me. He even let me have one of his special energy drinks. He was asleep by the time I got back, but I’ll make sure to thank him in the morning.

Day 5:

Finally woke up before Eds today. His first class had started 20 minutes ago though so I had to wake him up. It was damn hard! That boy could sleep through an earthquake. But I eventually got him up and when he realized the time he moved faster than I’d ever seen anyone move in my life. He just threw on a really fuzzy-looking over-sized sweater and didn’t bother to brush his hair before zooming out the door. Yowza, what a spectacle!

Eddie could not will away the blush spreading across his cheeks as he gently traced the ink on the pages. Richie liked to watch his eyes flicker across the words and admire as his face lit up with each passing entry. After turning several more pages and smiling at several more entries, Eddie quickly flipped through the rest of the book to figure how many other days were marked. Richie had written from cover to cover, his chicken scratch filling up most of the room on the pages.

“Sorry,” he watched as Eddie flipped through the book, “It’s kind of a lot. You don’t have to read it all.”

“No, Rich. I love it,” Eddie offered him a gentle smile as he placed the journal aside, “You’re so–it’s really a sweet idea. I’m just lost for words is all.”

“I’m glad you like it, Eds,” he fiddled with the hands that were now over his, “because I’ve already started another one for next year! And I’m writing it in a glitter gel pen!”

“That one is already like a fucking Stephen King novel I won’t be able to finish,” Eddie said gesturing to his gift, “How the hell do you find so many things to write about?”

“Oh, it’s because you’re just such an angel!” Richie took his hands away from Eddie’s to pinch both of his cheeks at once, but Eddie’s heart was still too melted from his gift for him to care, “Now time for my gifts, Spaghetti Head.”

He reached under the tree for the neatly wrapped blue presents. As Eddie helped to lay each of them out in front of him, he noticed something peculiar. Each present had different numberings on them.


“Yes, Richie?”

“What are these numbers?”


“Well, what does that mean.”

“What do you think?”

You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.”

Richie laid the presents out in order time-wise, muttering something about how he couldn’t believe this shit was happening to him on fucking Christmas day. There were five gifts, the first labelled 9:30 and the next four labelled 10:00, 10:15, 11:00, and 11:45. He picked up the 9:30 gift. Due to the shape and the rattling he heard when he picked it up he could already tell what it was going to be.

“Wow! Super Smash Brothers!” He said before beginning to open the package, much to Eddie’s disliking.

“See, this is why I didn’t want to give you a hint,” he crossed his arms over his chest, Richie’s eyes were locked on his glare even as he opened the gift he apparently already knew, “I knew you’d be an ass about it.”

“To be fair, you gave me a damn obvious hint,” he pulled the disc from the package and set it up on his ancient GameCube console.

Eddie begrudgingly followed and began to unravel another controller so he could compete with Richie, “Whatever. I’m still going to kick your ass, my dear.”

Richie’s heart stopped at the wording. It was the same thing Richie had said the night they had gone to get their gifts, after he had kissed Eddie on his forehead. Was he awake that whole time? Eddie didn’t seem the slightest bit out of the ordinary, so he shrugged it off and started a match.

Eddie decided to play as Link every game, while Richie would keep switching between Kirby, Peach, the Ice Climbers, and Mr. Game and Watch. Eddie found it incredibly annoying that he kept choosing the most ridiculous characters, but he refused to complain because he was, in fact, kicking Richie’s ass. After each match Richie lost he claimed that Eddie was cheating. Whenever Eddie asked how he had cheated Richie would whine about how cute he was being during that particular round and how it had distracted him from focusing on the game.

Half an hour passed quicker than either of them were expecting and it was time for Richie to open his ten o’clock gift. He made a show of squishing the gift and opened it to reveal two very comfy-looking blankets. Richie handed one to Eddie and they both bundled back up on the floor to continue their battling.

Richie began to open his next gift at 10:15. It was a large box full of materials that seemed to be rolling around. Eddie warned Richie that he might be disappointed at first, but promised the gift would turn out to be useful. He was glad for that explanation, as he opened up a box full of–

“PVC pipes,” Richie deadpanned, “You got me PVC pipes.”

“Shut the fuck up, trashmouth. Just help me assemble it.”

The assembly took much longer than Eddie had planned since he was trying to convince Richie that “I bought this shit, you turd. I know how to fucking put it together. Now hand me that piece to your left. No, your other left, dumbass” whereas Richie was dedicated to the fact that “My sense of direction is much more fine-tuned than yours, my love. I’m pretty sure that the pink pieces should probably go with the other pink pieces, not that blue one. Don’t be so hetero-normative,” yet they managed to assemble it within the day. As soon as pieces were not scattered about the floor and fit together naturally, the structure resembled a rectangle and fit around Richie’s bed.

“Eddie, sorry to burst your bubble,” he looked at the frame from all angles, “I still have no fucking clue what this is.”

“That’s because it’s not done,” Richie threw his head back and sighed, “Don’t do that. You’re gonna love it I swear.”

He watched as Eddie started pulling comforters and pillows out of his closet. The first thing he did was throw as many pillows as he could possibly fit on Richie’s bed. Then, he untangled the lights from his Christmas tree and began to wrap it around the pipes that made up the top of the framework. He then laid the comforters over the frame carefully so as to not destroy it. And finally he threw the blankets he gifted Richie inside the fort for good measure.

“There,” Eddie stood back next to Richie to admire his work, “It’s a blanket fort.”

Richie leaned down in front of the entryway at the foot of the bed to admire the inside. And damn did it look comfy. He immediately threw himself inside atop the mass of pillows and blankets and basked in the purple-ish glow of the hanging lights. Eddie shuffled in to lie down next to him soon after, “This is so fucking cool,” Richie breathed out as he wrapped his arms around Eddie’s small waist, “All this because I don’t have a bed frame?”

“If that’s how you want to see it, then sure.”

They had spent much longer on putting together the blanket fort than Eddie had thought they would, so his 11 o’clock gift turned into an 11:30 gift. He handed a very large bag to Richie. With each item he pulled out he became more and more excited. It started with a six pack of Moxie that they both unapologetically loved to drink, some movie-theater style microwave popcorn, and a wide assortment of candy including the candied hearts usually given out on valentine’s day, a few chocolate bars, and Richie’s personal favorite candy, tropical flavored Starburst.

They managed to movie Richie’s heavy, fat-backed TV to the floor so they could lie in the fort while playing their game. They also munched away on popcorn, candy, and Moxie.

Neither one of them cared about the final timestamp and spent as much time as they cared to cuddling in their massive blanket cave, kicking the CPU’s ass in Super Smash Brothers, and throwing popcorn into the other’s mouth. As soon as their bellies were full on junk food and their eyes hurting from the screen they decided to open the final gift. It was marked about three hours earlier than the current time.

Eddie was obviously most excited about this gift. He handed it to Richie with an eager smile of his face and was bouncing up and down just waiting for him to open it. He did carefully, and pulled a ukulele out of its case. Before he could begin to thank Eddie the boy jumped into hysterics.

“I would have bought you a guitar, Rich, but it’s wicked expensive and I only know how to play ukulele and I know you love music but don’t have an instrument so I thought I could at least teach you ukelele as like your first instrument. I know it’s sorta dumb but you can return it if you want I jus–”

Eddie,” Richie began to sing and strum terribly on the out-of-tune ukulele, “Do you ever fucking shut up? I’m trying to love up on you, but you just keep on thinking that your gifts are really shitty when they’re actually super perfect. And I hope the way I’m playing right now is any sort of indication that I really need your fucking ukulele lessons so I can write you love songs and serenade the fuck out of you–

“Now you’re the one that needs to fucking shut up.”

They spent the rest of their Christmas inside the blanket fort, Eddie teaching Richie the ukulele and Richie trying not to give in to the urge to plant kisses all over Eddie’s face. He is sure he has never had anything so good in his life.

Christmas Day:

Of course Eddie is absolutely the most perfect fucking human to ever exist. My parents forgot I existed again and there was no tree this morning. Good thing I let Eddie take his Charlie Brown tree because otherwise we would be treeless on fucking Christmas day. All the gifts I got him were dumb as fuck but he still thanked me for them. I almost didn’t give him the journal…I thought maybe it would weird him out. But he looked so fucking happy reading it that it was more than worth it. I can’t wait to give him this one! I got some real good zingers in here!!! Eddie was so creative with his gifts, he pretty much just assembled the most perfect Christmas day. I don’t think I’m taking the blanket fort down anytime soon, I hope Eddie won’t mind. I don’t think he will. He got me a ukulele. It was the sweetest idea ever and now I have even more of a reason to annoy him! He started to teach me today. He looks so goddamn adorable when he’s focused. His brows furrow a little bit and his tongue sticks out ever so slightly. Looking at him makes my chest feel heavy. When he readjusted my fingers on the strings I swear I almost died. If I ever manage to write any songs, they’re all gonna be about him.

moxie is actually really gross…dont drink it. I tried to make this as long and fluffy as possible, hopefully it turned out okay!!! im gonna try to get the next chapter out as soon as i can, thanks to everyone whos stuck around for being so patient!

(if i forgot to tag anyone please please please lmk!!!)

Taglist: @greywatertrashmouth, @richie-tczier, @theemilyxx, @richietoaster, @sense8wolfpack, @milyotp, @niamlovechildwhoshipslarry, @reddietogohome , @ahyesfandoms, @ineedreddieformylife, @anniiidk, @lukeyasheycalymikey, @erinn-l, @finny-wolfy

bolded i could not tag