a date with john waters

Conversation on a Train

M: We have to kill Mary. How?

G: I know… in an AQUARIUM!!!

M: Oh, cool! But wouldn’t that break the glass and let the fish come pouring in on everyone?

G: Nah, never mind the glass. We’ll kill her in an aquarium, because we likened CAM to a shark, with cold, dead eyes!

M: OK. OK. This is great.

G: Who will shoot her?

M: Well, it would be great if John shot her to protect Sherlock from her assassinating ways!

G: Yeah, that would be cool, wouldn’t it? Imagine the guilt both John and Sherlock would feel over that. And it would settle the damned assassination subplot anyway. How can John be pleasantly married to someone who shot and killed Sherlock?

(Both grow quiet, pondering the unlikelihood of the marriage.)

M: What about the baby?

G: Well, obviously, we can’t have a baby on the show. Who would watch her when the boys went on their adventures?

M: Why did we add that subplot to TSOT?

G: I don’t remember. Well… anyway, we’ll write the baby off somehow.

(Tea service arrives; boys take a break.)

M: Now, where were we?

G: Killing Mary IN AN AQUARIUM!

M: Oh, yeah. Who will shoot her?

G: Um… I forget what we were saying. Um… how about… Hmm…

M: I know! Let’s make it a secretary from that secret group that Mycroft and Lady Alicia Smallwood belong to.

G: Lady Alicia? Isn’t it Elizabeth?

M: Is it? I don’t remember. We can look it up later.

G: OK… so the secretary… oh, I’ve got a great idea! What if the secretary is aiming for SHERLOCK, and Mary jumps in front of the bullet?!

M: Oh, man, that’s COOL! And then blood can like spurt out of the wound!

G: And Mary can have beautiful final conversations with John AND Sherlock and tell them both how wonderful they are.

M: Might it be biologically unlikely for a dying woman to have a conversation? When we wrote HLV, didn’t some medical person give us some advice about bullet wounds and shock and loss of consciousness?

G: Hmm… I don’t remember. Never mind for now. We can look it up later.

(Boys take a small nap.)

M: Mark! Mark! Wake up! I just had a cool dream.

G: What was it?

M: What if there is a SISTER! Sherlock and Mycroft have a SISTER!

G: Oh, cool. Let’s name her Eurus, like “East Wind.”

M: Eurus, yeah! Yeah! And maybe… is she a good sister who died tragically when they were young? Which caused Sherlock to close off his feelings and explains, a bit, why he devoted himself to logic and intellect?

G: No… too simple… let’s maker her EVIL. Like, super evil. Eviller than Moriarty!

M: Yeaaaaaah. Super Evil! And she’s a Holmes, so she has to be the smartest Holmes. And she can CONTROL PEOPLE WITH HER MIND!!!!


(Several minutes of delighted cackling.)

M: So Eurus is in secret fortress prison, but… she can control people with her mind, so she can come and go whenever she wants.

G: She can flirt wtih John if she wears a red wig!

M: And she can hang out with Sherlock and eat chips if she wears a blonde wig!

G: And she can be John’s new therapist if she wears a gray wig! And John won’t recognize her because he’s a dumb fuck and she can CONTROL PEOPLE WITH HER MIND!!!


G: OMG, this is SO FUCKING GOOD. Groundbreaking television!!!

M: But before she shoots John, John and Sherlock can make up with a hug.

G: Um… Why were they fighting?

M: Um… because John thinks Mary’s death was Sherlock’s fault because Mary took the bullet for Sherlock? In the aquarium?

G: OK. But can John beat Sherlock up very badly first?

M: Yeah. Yeah. Good.

G: Now… just to keep them hopping, let’s throw in some kind of memory-changing IV drug. We can call it T12.

M: Oh, yeah. That sounds mysterious. Will it have any bearing on Sherlock’s strangely missing memories of his sister? Or the weirdness of the island fortress or the AIRPLANE GIRL PLOT I just made up? This girl is alone on a plane and all the adults are asleep and she calls Sherlock!!

G: No. No bearing. No connection. But I love AIRPLANE GIRL PLOT.

M: Like… she’s flying over cities. They have to make her crash the plane over water!

G: You know what else I want to do?

M: What?

G: UmbrellaSwordGun. Remember when we drew that in our notebook that one time!?

M: Totally. Let’s UmbrellaSwordGun the hell out of Mycroft. And –



M: Eurus can chain John in a well.

G: Didn’t she already shoot John?

M: Never mind that. She can chain John in a well… um… like she did many years ago…

G: To Sherlock’s dog REDBEARD!!

M: No! No! To Sherlock’s best friend VICTOR TREVOR! Whom he CALLS Redbeard!!

G: But let’s make a dog bowl anyway and write “Redbeard” on it.

M: Obviously.

G: So, John’s in a well with the dead dog…

M: Dead BOY.

G: Dead BOY… right… and he chained in there… and Sherlock has to hug his sister so she’ll tell him where John is!

M: I thought we were on the Fortress Prison Island?

G: Yeah yeah that was like ten seconds ago. Now we’re back at the Holmes estate and there are lots of creepy headstones with fake dates on them? And John is in a well. And the water is rising.

M: So Sherlock keeps having water flashbacks all through this season. Even he could fight a bad guy in a pool and almost drown! Because childhood trauma!!!

G: But Sherlock doesn’t know that the dog drowned.

M: BOY drowned.

G: Sherlock doesn’t know that the boy drowned, so why would he have water fears?

M: Never mind that. Silly details.

G: And Sherlock finally gets his sister to tell him where John is, and they throw a rope to him and he climbs out of the well.

M: Isn’t he chained?

G: That was like ten seconds ago. Now he’s fine, and BLANKET.

M: Can Greg be there?

G: Yeah, yeah!

M: He’s not in London?

G: No, he’s by the well.

(Both men lean back in thick, cozy self-approval.)

(Several minutes pass.)

M: Can we blow up 221B as well?


M: YES! Drone.

M & G (in unison): GRENADE DRONE!!

(Both men settle in for happy, contented naps.)

Masterlist <3

♡ means it’s one of my favourites <3

last updated February 5th 2017







more coming w/ request for character






sneaking onto earth with Bellamy would include..

tattered plan

deep woods

dating Bellamy blake would include…


grounder girl 




space princess

water duty 

dating Murphy would include…


kisses with murphy



dating clarke griffin would include…




Protect You (sibling!Finn/Y/n) ♡♡♡



coming soon..



dating jasper jordan would include…



biological warfare 



coming soon..





Imagine being Kane’s Daughter

Imagine Bellamy and Murphy fighting over you ♡

Imagine you’re a healer but Bellamy’s always stubborn

Imagine Murphy taking an interest in you (and you’re a grounder) 

Imagine being the only one who knew about Octavia except Bellamy

Imagine you being the one that was burned by Murphy

Imagine being a grounder and meeting Octavia

Imagine getting poisoned by grounders and Bellamy’s devastated

Imagine helping Murphy build a fire and he’s…

Imagine getting drunk with Murphy



prompt list #1

prompt list #2

prompt list #3

Red wine or Water ?

I know we all are estatic because we got a huge #CONFIRMED on scotch being a sign of fear. I’ve been flailing for almost a month since the exact expression I used to define scotch in the drink code (COURAGE) was used in the dialogue. But it does not apply to the rest of liquors we see on Sherlock.

In this post @victorianlovers and @jenna221b‘s discuss the meaning of wine in the Landmark scene, the “almost proposal” specifically. What do we see in there?

I left out of this gif the frames with Sherlock’s close-up. While John is asking for some advise on the champagne, he gulps that last bit of red wine. It looks like he just drank a load of bilis. 

Remember the meaning of red wine? Romance? Well, HE HATES THE WINE HE WAS DRINKING WITH MARY. Meaning he does not like very much the romance he’s having with her. But, since is right there, he will drink it. He will take what he thinks is his last chance in life to have a ‘ordinary’ relatonship. To be normal. Oh my boy, my son, my lad…

Some would say he is scared because he’s about to propose. But let me show you a couple of times when John plus red wine means romance.

First in TBB, with Sarah. Beverage: Red wine sangria. He didn’t even get it, but Mrs. Hudson did. You don’t make sangria with a decent wine, you use the cheap stuff. He never got to drink it, either. 

Second, again with Sarah. This is after the domestic in TGG. John stays the night at Sarah’s, but he gets sent to the sofa. We can see an empty bottle of wine and just one glass. So one of them drank alone? What sort of romantic evening whas that? Clever girl Sarah, she deserves way better than John and his cheap sangria wine.

In neither of these scenes John has a reason to be afraid, but we do clearly see his romantic intentions. Therefore, the wine drinking in the Landmark can be linked to his relationship with Mary.

And speaking of the devil, does she reciprocates romantically, at the first moment we as an audience get to see her face? Nah. She DECLINES and says she’ll keep drinking WATER

So, he asks “more wine?”, wich means more romance? like -”I’m about to ask you to marry me, the epitome of romance, with this awful wine, in this expensive restaurant”. 

Her answer? MORE WATER. I don’t know if you guys have read my water related metas, but yeah, it is no good. Water means ulterior motives, plans, THE MIND (I previously linked Mary to water in the Sinnerman post). In case you want to go deeper (hehe) into the subject of water, I suggest you read the Redbeard, circles and water meta, why the hounds deduction post, the Still water runs deep I, and maybe go through my water tag.

Anyway, John romances his dates with red wine.

BONUS SCENE: Lestrade offers wine to Molly in ASIB, after he practically ate her with his lascivious eyes.

By the way, there was red wine there and John never offered a glass to Jeanette, but he did serve a cup of tea to Mrs. Hudson, even while she was holding a glass on her own. Jeanette, you never deserved such a trashy boyfriend.

BUNUS SCENE 2: remember in ASIB when John enters 221B with a bottle and Irene is in Sherlock’s bedroom?

A bottle of what? Could it be…



Enjoy the Silence (Wednesday Addams!Castiel/ Addams Family AU part 2)

Castiel meets the Winchester for dinner and Dean gets to know the Addamses a little better. Title from the Depeche Mode song of the same name.Thanks to supernaturallynoble for the reference idea. 
Original prompt by interncastiel

AO3 | Part 1 Here

Dean glances at his surroundings curiously. Stone angels and slabs of granite engraved with names and dates are littered across the landscape. He and Castiel sit side-by-side on a bench in the center of a nearby cemetery. Dean will admit that it’s creepy, but not overly so. The fresh layer of snow over the ground and headstones makes it seem brighter and less eerie.

Dean exhales, watching his breath fog in the cold air. He looks over at Castiel, who is staring strangely into the empty space in front of him. They’ve been going out as it were only a short while, just over a month. Dean has learned much about Castiel, but somehow the boy still remains a mystery to him. He’s a puzzle, but Dean enjoys unlocking him.

Dean watches him quietly. Castiel wears a strange expression that’s not quite a smile, but conveys a sense of peace and satisfaction none the less. It takes Dean a second, but he realizes that it’s the same expression that corpses wear at a funeral.

Keep reading

cinqkwlx  asked:

Heey, so there is this guy who really likes me and i kinda like him too but im not sure, he suffers really badly from depression as do i and we kind of help eachother out a lot. i think he wants to be more then friends but i couldnt stand hurting him if i decided it wasnt going to work out.. i do like him but im not sure ive been hurt a lot in the past and im kind of scared, what should i do?thank you for your time :)

“It is a risk to love.
What if it doesn’t work out?
Ah, but what if it does.”
-Peter McWilliams, Author and Poet

“Oh, I wouldn't mind, Hazel Grace. It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you.” 
-John Green, The Fault in Our Stars


I started with those quotes to show you that love and relationships are about risk. If you like him, and he likes you, why are you second guessing yourself? That’s like saying “I suck at basketball, so I’ll never practice.”, how will you ever get better? How do you know something won’t work out unless you try and give it your best?

And stop being afraid to hurt him. I hate it when girls say that to me. Girls have told me this and this is my mindset: I know the risks, I know you, and I know me, and I trust you and despite giving you the key to my heart I trust you want intentionally stab that key in it.

Trust him to make his own decisions and putting his faith in you.