a boy and his dog lol

A dog's revenge

When I was a kid we had a very large German Shepard.  When we put him outside, he was on a 75’ rope tied to a tree.  The dog could run all around the yard and make it just up to, but not on, the driveway.   Unbeknownst to us, the paper boy (this was in the 1980’s) would drive up to the edge of the driveway and rev his moped to tease our dog.  He’d rev and rev the engine while our dog would go nuts at the limit of his rope, up on his hind legs trying to reach out and grab a hold of him with his front paws.

Anyways, one day, the rope broke so my dad went to the hardware store for a new one. The guy tells my dad, “We don’t have any 75’ ropes. Only 50’ or 100’.” My dad took the 100’.

I just wish I could have seen the look on my dog’s face the next day when the paperboy came around and woke him up with that stupid moped.  I always imagine that dog taking a second to  thank the dog gods, for the day of reckoning hath come!  Our dog charged, jumped in the air and took the kid off his bike. The kid tried to get away, but our dog bit down onto his ankle and dragged him back into the backyard.  Eventually he got away but had to call the police to get his moped back.  The dog was sitting patiently next to it.

We found out about it when the police came by that night to complete their report.  The next day, the kid’s dad called and told us not to worry about him suing; his son was an idiot and got what he deserved (that’s how we got the whole background).


Can I just brag about my boy here for a second? This Renegade, he’s only 14 months old and a complete monster.  There are some of his puppy pictures in there but the top ones are what he looks like now mostly. He’s a purebred German Shepherd, ¼ work and ¾ show. He’s my big baby and he’s being trained to be a service dog for me for my anxiety and depression. He’s too smart for his own good and it makes it hard to train him, but he knows that when I’m having a hard time that it’s his job to comfort me. He’s also a great protection dog, he is not trained but he does scare people off with his “I will eat your children” bark but he’s very loving towards everyone once he meets you or your dog.

I’m very happy to have this boy in my life even though there are days that I want to strangle him. His looks are the only thing that keeps him alive sometime, lol. Anyway, I just need to show off my boy.


Summary: Tyler gets caught checking you out and Josh decides to make sure he knows you’re his 

Word Count: 1000+

Warnings: slight BDSM, smut (obviously lol)


Master list

“Hey Ty,” I said, hugging the tall boy as he stepped inside Josh’s and my house.

He wasn’t exactly invited, but I was used to it. Trying to separate Tyler and Josh was like trying to separate a dog from its tail.

Tyler walked past me and into the kitchen, “Smells good, what are you making?”

I rolled my eyes, “Josh made cookies, but not for you so keep your hands off.”

He sighed dramatically, “Fine,” he said before beginning to dug around in the fridge.

“Josh!” I called to my boyfriend, “Get down here, your friend is raiding our kitchen!”

Before long I heard Josh’s footsteps coming down the stairs. Josh and Tyler greeted each other with their handshake before Josh came over and pressed a kiss to my forehead.

“Are my cookies done?”

“Yes, done- nearly inhaled by Tyler- but done.” I said, hopping up on the counter.

Josh took a deep breath, “Okay taste-testing time.”

Tyler and I both cheered.

Josh gave us both a look, “Nuh uh, I need three dozen for my mom’s church thing. That means there’s only two left to taste, and I’m the chef so I obviously get one. I suggest you two fight to the death; hunger games style.”

Tyler looked at me, “You’re toast (Y/N).”

I playfully rolled my eyes, “You two are ridiculous,” I leaned over and grabbed a cookie from the sheet, breaking it in half, “C’mere Ty.”

He walked over to me and opened his mouth. I gently placed his half into his mouth and giggled at his boyish behavior. Josh stared at us as he ate his cookie with a sour expression on his face.

“Do you not like it?” I asked, confused as to what was wrong with his seemingly perfect cookies.

“Huh? Oh, uh, no too much cinnamon.” He said quickly.

I furrowed my eyebrows. I was no expert but I don’t even remember him putting cinnamon in these, they were just sugar cookies after all.

“Okay, I’ll leave you two weirdos alone. In the meantime I have things to do.” I said, hopping down from the counter. I could feel the wedgie I had gotten from the counter, but I wasn’t about to pick it out when Josh and Tyler were in the room, so I walked away, pretending that I didn’t feel my ass hanging out of my shorts.

Before I could even walk completely out of the kitchen Josh called after me.

“Hey, baby, can I get your help with something upstairs?”

I turned to him, suspicious at first, but shrugged, “Sure, what do you need?”

“Just come here,” Josh said walking briskly past Tyler and up the stairs. I looked at the brown-haired boy and he shrugged, just as confused as I was.

Nevertheless I followed Josh into our bedroom. As soon as I walked in, he backed me against a wall, his hands resting on my hips.         

“What the hell was that?” Josh whispered in my ear.

I sucked in a breath as he lightly traced his fingers up my sides and under my shirt.

“W-what are you talking about?”

Josh pulled my shirt over my head and began planting love bites on my neck and down my chest, “You know exactly what I’m talking about. Wearing those shorts, flaunting what’s mine in front of Tyler. He was checking you out you know.”

I smirked, “A little jealous are we?”

He kissed me roughly, keeping a firm grip on my hair. But almost as fast as he was there, he pulled away; making me whimper and the loss of contact. Josh stood there, looking at me, lust evident in his dark brown eyes.

“Strip and get on your hands and knees.” He said, crossing his arms over his chest.

I let out a small moan at his words. Keeping eye contact with Josh, I slowly pulled my shorts down my legs. Next was my bra that I flung somewhere in our room. Sliding my panties off, I gasped as the cold air hit my wet core. I could tell I was affecting Josh just as much as he was affecting me; the evident strain in his skinny jeans proved it.

“Go on babygirl, hands and knees.” He said, his voice cracking slightly.

I nodded and crawled on top of our bed, staying up on my hands and knees. Because I couldn’t resist, I turned my head to watch Josh strip down, his arms flexing every time he removed a piece of clothing. I watched him take off his boxers, freeing his erection, and I could already feel precum dripping down my thigh.

Growing impatient, I stuck my ass a little farther in the air and rubbed my thighs together, trying to get some much needed friction. I moaned at the relief, but before long Josh came up behind me, pulling my thighs apart again.

“A little impatient aren’t we?” He asked me.

Afraid of what my voice might sound like I just nodded and whimpered in response.

“Hmm, I don’t know if you’ve had enough time to think about what you did. Have you?” He said, slowly running his fingers up the curve of my ass, making me shiver.

He leaned in close to my ear, “Come on baby, use your words.”

I nodded, “I-I’ve had enough time. I’m ready.”

I felt Josh get up on the bed behind me. I was already soaked, so he had no trouble sliding into me. I threw my head back and moaned as he started moving, using my hips to anchor himself. He slammed into me fast and hard. I could already feel a knot begin to form in my stomach,

“J-Josh, I’m close.” I moaned.

Josh reached down and began tracing big circles on my cilt. Before I could warn him, my thighs started shaking as I came to a euphoric high. I shouted Josh’s name, completely forgetting that Tyler was still downstairs. Josh came shortly after me, letting out a mixture of groans and my name.

He pulled out, leaving me feeling empty and completely spent. Josh wasn’t done, however, and flipped me over onto my back.

I groaned, “I can’t Josh.”

Josh began trailing light kisses down my stomach, “Yes you can baby. Show me how sorry you are.”

My hips bucked up towards Josh’s face, making him smirk. He pressed a light kiss right above my core before licking a strip up my cilt. I jerked involuntarily at the feeling of his tongue on my sensitive core, causing Josh to hold my hips down. I screwed my eyes closed and gripped onto his hair.

Josh moved one hand so he could enter two of his fingers into me while keeping his tongue on my cilt. With so much stimulation, my second orgasm had me screaming and seeing stars. Josh had to fight to keep my thighs from clamping around his head as I rode out my high.

I opened my eyes and looked down at my smiling boyfriend.

“Do you think Tyler heard us?”

I groaned, hiding my face in my pillow, knowing damn well he did.

The signs as shit my roommate says

Ares: I live in a seven person, rented apartment, with three bedrooms, and two dogs, in the city… I don’t have a fucking juicer. 

Taurus: Shit! It IS crusty lime green!

Gemini: He’s gonna watch it on his sixty inch TV and have a party in the tiny ass, one floor Floridian home. 

Cancer: Find yourself a nice Talapian boy.  

Leo: The last time I looked at a white person, they dabbed at me. 

Virgo: I can’t put down tiddy! 

Libra: I’m not fighting, I’m cartwheeling! 

Scorpio: Gang signs get you killed… donuts just make you fat. 

Sagittarius: I’m poor and nineteen. I can’t get her alcohol, I can’t give her money. 

Capricorn: She has lava in her vagina. 

Aquarius: When I eat, I chew.

Pisces: You can’t walk through a big puddle without making splashes. -Metaphor of 2016 

the signs as things from exomentary
  • Aries: baekhyun giving tips on how to approach boys
  • Taurus: xiuchen raving with tambourines
  • Gemini: kai barking like a dog
  • Cancer: suho hiding in a cupboard for 20 minutes
  • Leo: suho jumping out of the cupboard
  • Virgo: vivi eating all the snacks off the ground
  • Libra: D.O. telling xiuchen to gtfo of his broadcast
  • Scorpio: baekhyun definitely not getting angry playing lol
  • Sagittarius: baekhyun's "heLLO? HELLO?"
  • Capricorn: kai scaring suho
  • Aquarius: chanyeol saying "oh shit" live
  • Pisces: lay showing everyone his slippers

“let the world slumber a little longer,” she mumbled, sleepy words losing themselves in his chest. bed head, tangled sheets, and bright eyes are their forte; but so are fleeting encounters, kisses that leave you gasping for air, and wistful goodbyes. it’s true what they say: lovers don’t have all the time in the world.

“i only just got back, and it doesn’t feel like home when you leave,” she sighs, defeated. everything about her is forlorn, exhausted after work. pale skin, light hair, and a cool touch is who she is; the girl is a lunar explosion of ethereal white and the daunting silence of the wilderness.

“you know i want to stay,” he breathes, tanned fingers tangled in his sandy hair. everything about him is warm, energetic before he rises with the day. childish madness, curious eyes, and a hot mess is who he is; the young man is a cheeky enigma — how can he show everything and nothing at once?

“will you catch me if i fall?” he teases, leaning in with a cheeky grin. his lashes brush her cheeks, her lips move to graze his, and smiles blossom upon both their faces. she never answers him; she doesn’t need to. he knows her quiet laughter, her fierce loyalty. she’ll always be waiting with open arms.

whispered wars, yearning compassion, and adolescent romance are the only cards they’ve been dealt. and there will never be enough time between night and day for them to hide away.

—  i rise when you fall, c.j.n.

anonymous asked:

I feel like Jay gonna settle down at 45 after he realizes even Dok2s receding hairline can get a wife and three more dogs.

😂😂😂😂😂😂  STOP😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 And 45? watch it be like 35 lol, dok2 so young and already his hair looks like plies, I give ol boy 4 more years until his hairline reaches stevie wonder levels.~B

Watch on jayfatuasian.tumblr.com

This is how Jay Park bothers his daschunds PJ& Oscar since his usual  human victims aren’t around haha….. “Let me whisper sweet nothings into your ear…” and PJ just calmly ignores him while Jay smothers him with kisses

He tried the same with his other dascund Oscar and boy does he strike back hahaha

the difference between PJ & OScar…..one obediently lets his owner bother him while the other licks back hard hahaha….

jparkitrighthere Phonecase be on Stonecold Steve Austin mode 🔥🔥#aomg #followthemovement #middlefingertodirtypolitics [x]

and this dog lover has a phone case of a kitty flickin off. lol. those hashtags tho

When Mama Katara says it’s bathtime, not even matching puppy dog faces of father and son can stop her. Lol! I love drawing Papa Zuko. So much fun. The little boy’s name is Lu Ten, because I strongly believe that if Zutara happened and they had a boy, his name would be Lu Ten. In my mind, it’s law. Anyway! Ignore the shitty hands *again*.

This is the worst thing I’ve ever done but I literally made a masterpost of all the creamsicle in res dogs, it’s not totally complete but I was tired when I did it…..so anyways, here’s wonderwall:

*orange and white alternate hands on each others chairs
*white winks at orange before he says “well im afraid im gonna have to keep it” lol bitch we know you are trying to act cool for your boy but can you cool it down a little its getting hot in here
*while white busts out his statistics about waitressing, orange is looking all impressed and cocky like yeeeeee
*holding hands???? Alright
*you’re gonna be okay, i’ll be right in the other room
*whispers something in his ear GAYY
*gets extremely defensive about pink saying some fellas lucky and some ain’t
*looks back at orange TWICE while walking out to the car w/ blonde
*“gimmie a sec to breathe” “you aint dyin, he is.”
* we cant leave these guys here with him
*as they go to move the cars, white goes to check on orange then gives blonde a look then looks back at orange again
*“sittin right here on my dick” white looks at him like you’re clever, kid and orange smiles when he laughs like he wants his approval
*while white is explaining what to do about people trying to be heros, orange looks at him with some stupid fucking heart eyes, never looking away, hangs on his every word
*after white shoots the cops, orange lets him pull him around and guide him without any resistance or weird looks
*white keeps putting his arm on orange’s back protectively as they are running from the cops
*when orange sees white point the gun at the lady in the car he immidiately follows without hesitation note: he was behind him
*when they walk back in after getting the ice, white immidiately RUNS over to orange like he was thinking about it the whole time without even a glance at blonde’s body
*white kneels down to orange’s level and hangs on to his every word, never doubts him
*puts a hand on his back reassuringly
*when eddie says he doesnt buy it, white says it makes perfect fucking sense
*rubbing his shoulder and running his hand in his hair as he says “i swear on my mothers eternal soul thats what happened
*running his hand across his back as eddie yells at him saying that blonde did time for them
*"joe trust me on this, hes a good kid”
*“i know this man, he wouldnt do that”
*immidiately gets panic in his eyes and pulls his gun when he sees joe pull his gun out
*joe, if you kill that man you die next. I repeat, if you kill that man you die next.
*orange reaches for white when he gets up
*white puts his hand right on orange’s chest
*cradles his head in his lap, holding his face and looking down at him
*im sorry kid looks like we’re gonna have to do a little time
*rubs his face soothingly
*doesnt even ask if hes a cop or not lmao
*orange reaches back to hold him
*looks like he just lost his fucking world when freddy tells him
*orange just keeps saying im sorry larry not please dont kill me
*white wants to die because his love betrayed him but he has to be the one to do it

What's it like to date Exo
  • Kai: yall are gonna have pictures of dogs all over your fridge okay
  • Baekhyun: you love baek but this kid is always tryna sass u smd
  • Chanyeol: goes from hot vampire daddy to 5 year old kid in 0.8 seconds
  • D.O: v cute around u but turns into satansoo around his members bc he aint takin anyone's shit lol
  • Sehun: noodle boy who only knows of bubble tea places
  • Suho: will buy u anything and everything so don't even try to talk to him bc he will shove a credit card up ur ass
  • Xiumin: this boy is amazing bring him to ur parents
  • Chen: barbaric af u may need to tame him before telling ur friends about him
  • Lay: omgomg so lovely he will always talk about you around others and omgomg he sends u 'good morning beautiful' and 'good night dear' messages daily awwwww
  • BONUS-
  • Kris: he can prob pick u up with one hand tbh
  • Luhan: always tryna prove his manliness by bringing you to sephora
  • Tao: either a sexy protective martial artist or high pitched preteen panda looking fool- no in between