a bitter taste

i keep trying to memorize every detail of the moments i live in. in the soreness of my legs from standing so long at a concert, the chill of the night, the patterns of a tablecloth, the oily texture in my mouth after eating fried bananas. i keep trying to memorize the feelings, the quiet contentedness, the laughter, the excitement. i keep trying to memorize the people, their smiles, the way they speak, what makes them laugh. i’m constantly on the cusp of the next part of my life and that’s just so.. strange. but it makes it so much easier to find happiness no matter what’s happening to me, in a way? because i’m already kind of looking at life with those rose-colored glasses of nostalgia, simply because i know these are times i’ll never be able to live again, and these are people i might not always have, and that makes it so much easier to appreciate everything i might miss later. 

But I have to admit
that some things
will never be
the same
without you.
Some songs
will sound different.
Some food
will taste bitter.
Some of the days
will be colder.
Some places
will look darker.

A lot of things
might have change
because of you.

Yet probably,
I might learn
to love myself
too.

—  ma.c.a // Years without you
How to Prank Lay
  • Baekhyun: *puts salt in tea*
  • Lay: *sips tea*
  • Baekhyun: ...Doesn't the tea taste bitter?
  • Lay: *smiles angelically* It does, but I didn't want to hurt your feelings, so I drank all of it.
  • Baekhyun: *bursts into tears*
slavic languages gothic

You see a sentence written in cyrillic. Some of the letters are familiar. You see the meaning shimmering underneath the surface. You almost grasp it, but it slips away. The letters on the page mock you silently.

You know this Czech word. You’ve already learnt it in Polish. It is not the same word. It is a grave insult. Your slavic friends are shocked and embarassed for you when they hear you speak it.

There is a sentence in Croatian. There is a sentence in Serbian. There is a sentence in Bosnian. They are all the same sentence.

You have to write about your day in Slovak. You spend the night polishing the draft. You fail your assigment. It’s written in Czech. You don’t know Czech.

P is not what it seems. You have to remember that.

The Croatian sentence does not mean what the Bosnian sentence means. They both mean the same in Serbian.

That word has a diminutive. The diminutive has its own diminutive. The diminutive of the diminutive also has a diminutive. Nobody knows what the final diminutive of a word is. Some say the knowledge had been lost in centuries past and matrioshkas are the echo, the tangible warning left for us to remember. No living creature should hold the means of diminishing something into nonexistence.
Others say you may still find some of them in old soviet textbooks, if you dare to look in abandoned schools of Chernobyl.

Someone is speaking to you. Is that a he or a she? You aren’t sure. It’s an abstract concept. Why does it have gender.

You see a word in a dictionary. It has seventeen letters and only one vowel. You close the dictionary very carefully not looking at the phonetic transcription. The shape of it haunts you in your sleep. You wake up face damp with tears, a bitter taste on your tongue. The clock blinks 3:03AM. You do not dare look up that word again.

This word means the same thing in the five slavic languages you’re familiar with. You use it in the sixth one. That word does not exist in this language. It never did. There is now a word-shaped void in the fabric of this language. The natives look at you uneasily. There is a new quality to the silence and your palms start to sweat.

H is not H. H is not H. H is not H. H is not H.

One day you flip through your dictionary. A page is missing. What was the word? You can’t remember. There is pressure building at the back of your head. The clock blinks 3:03AM.

You write my name is in cyrillic. There are shadows dancing on the walls. They grow longer with each letter you write down. It is not cyrillic you’re using. You keep writing my name is. The shadows now bleed from the tip of your pen. It’s irrelevant. You need to remember the right letters.

N is not N is not N is not N is not N is not N is not N is not N is not N is not N is not N is not… If only you could remember the letters. The letters are important. What was it, that wasn’t N?

There are nine different prefixes you can add to a verb to change its meaning. There are fifty three different suffixes you have to add to a verb to make it work. In the end the only thing left of the original is a vague shape of one of its middle consonants. You can feel the anguish radiating from the verb’s mutialted form. A desperate sob escapes through your clenched teeth. You’re so, so sorry, you didn’t meant to. You didn’t. It doesn’t matter.

You now read a text in Russian. You’ve never learnt Russian. Why are you reading that text? The words burn your eyes, the meaning searing your mind.

There’s a shot of vodka in front of you. You don’t drink alcohol. You don’t care. All existence is meaningless, your soul’s in eternal pain. A broken matrioshka lays at your feet. There is no salvation, she says boring into your eyes. You open your mouth to answer, but there is only a burst of harsh rustle. It dies in whispering echoes a moment later. Your glass is empty again.

People are losing their minds over Max pocketing a bottle of wine, but I’m willing to bet $10 he takes one sip and spits it out and chucks the bottle out somewhere.

Kisses {Harry Styles Smut}

PAIRING: Harry/Y/N
RATING: R lol
WORD COUNT: 10k y’all!!!
REQUESTED: nope !

this is my longest one shot, it took up like 20 pages on microsoft word lmfao !! anyways it took me a bit longer than usual bc i went through a slight block (rip) but it is finished and i’m quite proud of it!! feedback is much appreciated, it rly motivates me!! ok that’s it i hope u enjoy :-)

~*~ 

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i’ve been learning recently, that it takes a lot of courage to be honest with yourself. to take sips of the truth no matter how bitter it may taste, or how uncomfortable it may feel. to dive into the truth no matter how violent the waves may be, or how deep it may appear. to look the truth deep in the eyes no matter how daunting it may be, or how scary it may seem. of course, the people you love deserve authenticity, the people you care about deserve sincerity, but you are deserving as well. you are deserving of the honesty you give others. you are deserving of the peace that comes with the truth. but sometimes that peace only comes when you confront those inner demons that you’ve been hiding from for so long. when you stop focusing on the honesty others deserve, and start focusing on the honesty you and your inner child deserve. it’s easier to tell others the truth, and harder to be truthful with yourself. i’ve been learning recently, that it takes a lot of courage to be honest with yourself.
—  iambrillyant 
We all have a certain story that we do not share out loud because we are afraid that nostalgia will come in series of waves and drown us. We all know a certain name that we rarely mention anymore because it leaves a bitter taste in our tongue yet makes our heart skips a beat. We all know a familiar voice that is slowly fleeting into oblivion but we always hear it when their favorite song plays on the radio. Lastly, we all know a familiar face that we desperately hoped we will see every morning when we wake up but is now a part of the group of faces that we once knew and trying to forget. Although it is hard and painful for me to admit, mine happens to be you.
—  lm // words left unspoken # 9
Bruise [ III ]

Genre [Rating] : Angst [M]

Length: 9.1k

Pairing: Chanyeol x Reader

Summary: He wasn’t yours, and you weren’t his, but that couldn’t stop your heart from believing otherwise.

Bruise Masterlist

Originally posted by porkdo-bi

The white cream swirled about in the dark coffee in front of you, your fingers clasped around the warm, pastel orange mug as the steam floated up in hazy waves. There were signs of life all around you, couples sharing intimate lunches and students laughing away their course work. The street outside the window in front of you was busy, bustling with people and lined with fall kissed trees, branches adorned in warm tones, rustling when a breeze blew. Despite the heat of life all around you, you felt cold, like your bones were made of ice, like your heart was encased in snow. The book across the table was pushed aside as Minseok sat back down, coffee in hand and round golden glasses perched on his nose as he exhaled heavily, ready to listen.

“Do you want to start or should I?”

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Sweet Lies - EXO Translation

English Translation

Oh sometimes the truth
Oh hurts more than lies
Oh we’re scared of getting hurt
We turn away from the truth

Even though I know it’s a little dangerous (So bitter)
I have no confidence I can handle it (Even if it’s a lie)
If I can have you by my side by doing this

I tell her
Sweet lies sweet lies sweet lies
The sweetest lie in the world Baby
I tell her
Sweet lies sweet lies
If this is what you want, I’ll give it all to you

No no no no no baby don’t say u want no liar
No no no no no baby don’t say u want no bad guy
Because the truth hurts more than the lie
You cover your ears with your hands

I don’t wanna hurt you either (So bitter)
This is the only way we can be (No matter what I do)
So again I
Do it again because I have no choice

So I tell her
Sweet lies sweet lies sweet lies
The sweetest lie in the world Baby
I tell her
Sweet lies sweet lies
If this is what you want, I’ll give it all to you

I don’t give you my heart as easily as you’d like
I melt you with sweet lies Like a hot cocoa in the winter
I keep trying to push you away
Had to tell you, that I lie to you, but you know I’m a pretender
I already told you that I’m an unwieldy blade and if you want me
You might get cut deep, you pretend not to hear me when I warn you
Let me tell you what’s on my mind
Sorry I can’t be that guy
Don’t expect too much

Actually I
I’m scared to begin, because
I can taste the bitter scent in my mouth
If you
Close your eyes and want me
Even if it’s a lie, I’ll make you happy
With the sweetest lie in the world
I tell you

Sweet lies sweet lies sweet lies
The sweetest lie in the world Baby
I tell her
Sweet lies sweet lies
If this is what you want, I’ll give it all to you
I tell her
Sweet lies sweet lies sweet lies
I tell her
Sweet lies sweet lies sweet lies

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Mishaps

Bucky Barnes X Barista!Reader

A/N: This is for @just-some-drabbles 4k follower challenge! Congrats, babe!

Thanks to my fake friend @denialanderror for beta’ing.

Words: 1718

Prompt: “I got your message. What the hell was that supposed to mean?”

Warnings: bad fluff again bc im a hoe for soft things but idk how to write soft things rip

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Mr. Min - Chapter 07

Description:  Your CEO caught your attention the first day you started your new job and it seems the attraction is mutual.  Too bad he’s only interested in a relationship that benefits him.

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader x Jungkook

Genre: Angst

Word Count: 13079

A/N: Originally this was only the first half of chapter 7 but I wanted to get something out for you guys so I decided to split it. I hope it was worth the wait. :)

PlaylistPrologue - Ch 01Ch 02 - Ch 03 - Ch 04 - Ch 05 - Ch 06 - Ch 07

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THE    FIVE    SENSES     /      SENTENCE    STARTERS  .

  • some   may   be   nsfw   and   /   or   be   triggering.   

01    :     TOUCH .

  • ❝ i love this [ FABRIC ], it feels satisfying. ❞
  • ❝ your touch. it leaves me breathless. ❞
  • ❝ your touch is unlike any other. ❞
  • ​❝ have you ever felt anything more comfortable? ❞
  • ❝ feel this. what does it feel like to you?
  • ❝ i wanted to see what it felt like. ❞
  • ​❝ touch it. i dare you. ❞
  • ​❝ you felt ice cold when i touched you. ❞
  • ​❝ you feel warm to me. ❞
  • ​❝ i love the feel of [ FABRIC ] against my skin. ❞
  • ​❝ i love the feel of your skin against mine. ❞
  • ​❝ i would never touch anyone else. 
  • ​❝ i love the feel of your hair between each of my fingers. ❞
  • ​❝ don’t you dare touch me. ❞
  • ​❝ i want to feel your lips against my own. ❞
  • ​❝ i can feel your pulse. it jumped. ❞
  • ​❝ let me give you a massage. ❞
  • ❝ you feel like home to me. ❞ 

02     :      TASTE .

  • ❝ i love the taste of you. ❞
  • ❝ i can never forget that taste. ❞
  • ❝ fair warning, it does have a bitter taste. ❞
  • ​❝ no offense, you just aren’t my taste. ❞
  • ❝ can i have a taste of that? ❞
  • ❝ i have yearned for the taste of your lips. ❞
  • ​❝ that tasted pretty good actually. ❞
  • ​❝ it just left a really bad taste in my mouth so no thanks. ❞
  • ​❝ nothing taste better than chocolate. ❞
  • ​❝ i’ve got something you might want to taste. ❞
  • ​❝ i will forever savor that taste. ❞
  • ​❝ blood has such a metallic taste.
  • ​❝ my taste buds are mad at me after eating that. ❞
  • ​❝ how’s it feel to get a taste of your own medicine?
  • ​❝ you didn’t even taste it. ❞
  • ​❝ trust me, you’ll want to taste this. ❞
  • ​❝ i think it has a bit of bitter sweet taste. ❞
  • ❝ so you tasted it, did you like it?

03     :      SIGHT .

  • ❝ i see you. ❞
  • ❝ i’ve never seen things so clearer than i do now. ❞
  • ❝ it’s too dark, i can’t see anything. ❞
  • ​❝ how can you see anything? it’s pitch dark. ❞
  • ❝ i’ve looked close enough and i see you for what you are. ❞
  • ❝ please, just look at me. ❞
  • ​❝ stop staring at me like that. ❞
  • ​❝ get that light out of my face. ❞
  • ​❝ it’s so bright outside today. ❞
  • ​❝ what’s wrong? what did you see?
  • ​❝ you’re scared, you must have saw something. ❞
  • ​❝ what i saw, you’ll never believe me. 
  • ​❝ i’ve never seen you before. ❞
  • ​❝ have we seen one another before
  • ​❝ you see me for what i truly am. ❞
  • ​❝ i didn’t see anything. ❞
  • ​❝ did you see that?
  • ❝ i can’t believe my eyes. 

04     :      SOUND .

  • ❝ shhh, i just heard something. ❞
  • ❝ did you hear that?
  • ❝ what is that sound?
  • ​❝ i missed the sound of your voice. ❞
  • ❝ do you hear me? stay away from me. ❞
  • ❝ i hear you, loud and clear. ❞
  • ​❝ i’m sorry, what was that? i didn’t hear you. ❞
  • ​❝ i’ve heard that sound before. ❞
  • ​❝ you didn’t hear anything at all?
  • ​❝ can you hear what they’re saying?
  • ​❝ aw, i love the sound of music. ❞
  • ​❝ i never said i could hear them. 
  • ​❝ wait, hear that? something is coming. ❞
  • ​❝ i could hear screams … ❞
  • ​❝ i heard you all the way upstairs. ❞
  • ​❝ you didn’t just hear that? that sound? that noise?
  • ​❝ trust me, you’re going to want to hear this. ❞
  • ❝ please, just hear me out. 

05     :      SMELL .

  • ❝ what is that smell? ❞
  • ❝ i have missed your smell. ❞
  • ❝ you smell nice. ❞
  • ​❝ it’s unlike anything i’ve smelled before. ❞
  • ❝ i smell the food cooking from here. ❞
  • ❝ do you smell that?
  • ​❝ how are you able to smell that?
  • ​❝ no offense but it really smells. ❞
  • ​❝ it’s starting to smell. ❞
  • ​❝ tell me, you’ve smelled this before. ❞
  • ​❝ i know that smell, it’s the smell of lies. ❞
  • ​❝ i can smell you from here.
  • ​❝ are you smelling me?
  • ​❝ i missed the smell of your hair. ❞
  • ​❝ i need to step away, get some fresh air. ❞
  • ​❝ do you smell that? that’s the smell of freedom. ❞
  • ​❝ i could never erase your smell. ❞
  • ❝ i can smell the fear on you from here. 
Adult World (Jungkook smut)

Originally posted by nochuie

Description: You reveal to your friends that no one except yourself has ever made you cum. Jin in particular finds this interesting and dares you and Jungkook to go to the sex shop down the street and purchase a sex toy, for your own benefit of course.

Pairings: You x Jungkook, You x Taehyung, Jungkook x Taehyung (you know how truth and dare goes)

Basically: Taehyung is a cocky lil shit who features quite a lot. Jin is a mean lil shit and Jungkook is a very helpful lil shit ;)

Genre: Smut, Angst, Fluff (so much smut, like damn this was hot to write)

This fic includes: A brief boy on boy scene, swearing, alcohol, sex toys, explicit smut

Word count: 6k


“You’ve got to be kidding!” Jin practically howls with laughter, doubling over himself and nearly falling off the couch with laughter. You’re about to tell him off but Jungkook beats you to it.

“Shut up. It’s not that big of a deal.”

Jin sits up straight, looking down at Jungkook, who sits next to you on the floor, opposite Jin. He wipes the tears from his eyes, his laughter finally dying down. “Hey, don’t you think you should talk to me with a bit more respect?” He prods teasingly, but Jungkook doesn’t seem in the mood, his previous lighthearted spirit vanishing upon Jin’s insensitive comment.

Jungkook’s tone is excitingly stern, but not rude, “Yeah, I’ll show more respect when you show more respect to Y/N.”

You laugh, “Don’t worry about me, Jungkook. I don’t think I can take Jin very seriously, not when I highly doubt he’d even know how to make me or any other girl cum.”

The circle of friends in Taehyung and Jungkook’s apartment erupt into comical ‘oohs’ and ‘ahhs’.

“You got damn burned!” Jimin says, leaning over the bottles in the center of your various seated positions to high five you.

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just to be clear: this is a post that is specific to a comment on the star trek discovery video. very specific to that particular thing before any of you come at me w/ any kind of Shit for this.

im tired of white people saying that non white people’s accents aren’t understandable or are super hard to understand (i could understand what michelle yeoh was saying PERFECTLY) like fuck you i hate you i have grown up all my life with ppl in my family who have heavy accents and have trouble with english here but i can still understand them you are such horrible people you are so cruel and mean you’re fine with chekov’s heavy russian accent and scotty’s thick scottish accent but god forbid the asian woman can’t have the perfect american accent fuck you all i hate you all so much and you leave a disgusting bitter taste in my mouth

and before any of you say anything, yes, i know it can be hard to understand someone with an accent. i have trouble too sometimes. but this is specifically about a comment on michelle yeoh’s accent and her speaking in star trek discovery, which was perfectly clear in my opinion, but so many people are so hateful in the comments there.