Zoella280390

Yellow. -Joe Sugg Imagine.

Trigger Warning: This imagine contains a panic attack. I love you all so, so, so deeply and so very much. Please listen to the song above, of course if you’d like to. You can listen to it during the imagine or even before you read.
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Anxiety: a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome.

What does anxiety feel like? It’s overwhelming, consuming, and hard to escape. It takes your breath away with zero effort, and leaves you feeling completely exhausted.

Panic Attack: A panic attack is a sudden episode of intense fear that triggers severe physical reactions when there is no real danger or apparent cause. Panic attacks can be very frightening. When panic attacks occur, you might think you’re losing control, having a heart attack or even dying.

Existential Crisis: An existential crisis is a moment at which an individual questions the very foundations of their life: whether this life has any meaning, purpose, or value.

|Joe Sugg |

I watch with close eyes as Y/N lays down in our back garden. She’s wearing nothing but her red and navy checkered pyjama bottoms and one of my long grey hoodies while fluffy white socks heat her feet. I don’t know how she can not feel this crippling cold. I’m indoors, standing idly by the heater as a cold shiver races down my spine.

Y/N’s hands are resting on her tummy and I watch intently as she takes slow breaths. I take hold of the small blanket from the radiator and begin to make my way outside, hissing to myself as the cold air hits my cheeks.

As I approach Y/N, I gently drape the blanket over her, seeing her face remain motionless as she continues to stare up into the sky. By the dazed look on her face, I know she’s thinking to herself. Y/N adores star-gazing. It’s her favorite thing to do. I often catch her sitting on our balcony in the middle of the night, sprawled out on a sun chair, gazing up at the dark night blanket that glimmers.

Silence fills the air. The world is still and I feel like time is paused.

I slowly sit down on my knees, before laying down onto my back, mirroring her position, heaving in a deep breath and watching my breath fan out into a small fog. I’m only out the door three minutes and I can feel my knuckles turn white from the cold. I flicker my eyes momentarily over to Y/N and notice how her lips are almost shading blue.

“You’re going to freeze to death out here.” I whisper worriedly, noticing how rosy her cheeks are from the harsh winter wind hitting against them.

“Did you know, in our Milky Way Galaxy alone, there are two hundred to four hundred billion stars?” Y/N speaks, her eyes fixated on the stars glimmering above her.

I shake my head.

“I never knew that.” I whisper in reply, furrowing my brows together as I watch her nod to herself.

Y/N and I have been together for four years. We met in a record shop. I was buying some new LP’s to play on my new record player that I received for my twenty first birthday. It was a gift from my grandmother. The two of us would listen to all of her old records on her actual record player. My grandmother knew how much I adored listening to music through records, so she decided to buy me an up to date, modern record player so I could listen to my tunes.

On the weekend of my birthday, I sauntered into a dusty old record shop, browsing through the many artists that I could choose from and that was when I met my sweet love Y/N. She stood behind the cash register, twirling the dial on the radio in hopes to get a music channel playing. While paying for my records, I used some of my best chat up lines and managed to score a coffee date and now, four years later, I’m the man that gets to kiss her goodnight.

“Did you also know that every star in the night sky is actually bigger and brighter than the sun?” She breathed as I looked from her still body to the mess of stars up in the sky, chuckling slightly in astonishment at this new fact.

“Really?” I ask.

“Really.”

Silence overlaps us again, and I focus my attention on the stars glowing above us.

“I think they’re quite beautiful to look at, don’t you think?” I question, allowing my words to pass through my lips. “They’re all millions of miles away and they still like to come out and glow for us.” I smile, resting my hands on my stomach and hearing Y/N’s gentle breaths, along with a soft murmured ‘yes’.

“It’s impossible to count them all.” She whispers, her eyes staying fixated on the twinkling blanket that shines above us. “But I love them.”

Astrophile: (n) a person who loves stars, astronomy.

“I’d rather look at you than the stars. You’re beauty outshines all of these stars.” I grin cutely, turning my body on it’s side and supporting myself on my elbow, giving Y/N my undivided attention as I gaze at her beauty.

I frown ever so slightly seeing her continue to look up at the stars and wondering if she heard me or if it’s possible that I’m just speaking too quite.

“The fastest spinning objects in the Universe are neutron stars, they can rotate five hundred times in just one second.” Y/N breathes, her eyes twitching ever so slightly, enough for me to notice and I can’t help but wonder how she manages to remember all of these facts.

“They deserve a gold star for all that effort.” I crack a small cheesy joke, raising my eyebrows over to her only to see her lips sit in a line. I sigh slightly and shake my head, knowing that she is far too engrossed with the stars to even take note of my joke.

Y/N has never told me why she loves to stargaze so much. I find it odd, how she loves the stars so much, yet she has never wanted to become an astronomer. Deep down, I feel like I know the answer as in to why she loves to star gaze so much. When you step outside on a chilly winter night and glance up at the night sky and see small, glimmering and breath taking twinkling lights. it is almost as if something special clicks in your mind. It’s hard to put your finger on it but you know something is different. You’re stepping out of the everyday hustle and bustle of the modern world. As a new and younger generation, we are all consumed with technology. We have beeping phones, tablets, laptops and a constant need to be somewhere. When you cross your backdoor to the inky blackness of night, your worries and problems almost fade into the thin air and you stand still in a moment of time. In a way, I feel like it calms her.

“The Milky Way belongs to a cluster of thirty galaxies called the Local Group, which is seven million light years across.” Y/N speaks once more, giving me another fact. Since I’ve sat down beside her, I haven’t once heard her speak a hello or her hear curse about the nippy weather, only facts.

“Our Milky Way is almost as old as our universe. Thirteen billion years.” Y/N mumbles, her eyes squeezing tight. “We’re all just moving through space. We revolve around the sun. The sun revolves around the Milky Way.” I frown at her words and slowly sit up.

“What are we Joe? We are literally tiny specks of dust that can walk and talk, floating through the unknown Universe? What am I doing with my life? What if something happens to our world? Do you know it would take us billions of years to create more people like us on other planets? Joe, I-I can’t breathe.” Y/N gasps, her body shooting up from the ground and her hands pressing to her chest.

“I-I’m d-dying. N-no, don’t let m-me die, Joe. W-we’re all just floating pieces of meat, settled on a big rock, hurdling through the u-unknown.” Y/N gasps, her eyes squeezing tight as tears stream down her icy cheeks. Words flying through her lips that don’t make sense.

I can feel my heart rate pick up instantly. I can feel my bones rattle from my fast beating heart as panic surges through me. I wrap my arms around her body and tug her onto my lap, watching her mouth open and close desperately for air.

“Y/N, listen to me, okay? Focus on my voice. Look at me.” I speak loudly, keeping my voice calm and collected, not wanting to startle or frighten her or make her panic attack worse. I watch as she clutches to her chest, her eyes peeking open as she looks at me desperately.

“This is going to be okay. You’re safe with me. You’re with me and you’re completely fine. This will be okay.” I whisper, running my fingers through her hair while gently running my hand up and down her back in soothing circles, feeling myself panic at the situation.

“Look at the stars. They’re all shining for you.” I breathe, along my voice to stay low. I gently reach up and brush away the tears staining her cheeks.

“Take a deep breath, sweetheart. Just take one for me.” I encourage her, seeing pain flash across her features as she gasps a large breath. “That’s magnificent, baby. You keep doing that whenever you feel like you can, okay?” I whisper, pressing my lips delicately to her cheek bone.

“You’re not going to die. I’m right here and I’ve got you.” I speak, tucking a strand of her long luscious locks of her hair behind her ear.

“I understand why you’re so scared of space and this situation. I understand your fear. I really do. It’s quite scary and strange to think that we are all just floating particles, eternal souls or as you gracefully describe us, slabs of meat, just flying through space on a large rock. But if it wasn’t for Space and this big burly rock, I would never have got to see or even meet the beauty that is you.” I smile softly, swaying us side to side very slowly.

This wasn’t too new to me. I’ve helped Y/N through many panic attacks before and I know how calming it can be for her when I know and understand her fear. I don’t like seeing her suffer with these panic attacks. I know certain things tend to trigger her panic attacks such as extremely claustrophobic places but I never thought that the one thing I thought she enjoyed, -stargazing-, would give her a panic attack. I can hear my brain feed me information on my ways to calm her down.

There have been certain times when I was unable to calm her. There have been times where I’ve been told by her, to leave her alone, and somehow, she finds certain ways that calm her down significantly. There are times where I need to call my mum and Y/N’s mum since I’m entirely useless in the situation. Then there are panic attacks like this. I can squeeze myself in before the panic attack escalates to something more frightening.

“Remember that time, we were feeding the swans? Remember when that greedy one was cheeky and bit my hand? You laughed so hard that you fell into the lake.” I grinned, trying to keep up conversation with her and thinking back to the many years when I would help Zoe through her panic attacks. “I really wish I had vlogged that, you would have went viral.” I whisper, noticing a shaky smile appear on her lips as I speak about our day out in the park.

“How about that time, I so desperately wanted an ice cream, hm? Remember when you were walking back to me with the ice creams? You somehow managed to drop one of them and for some bizarre reason, it was my ice cream that you dropped.” I smirk, bringing up the time we spent the day in Brighton and Y/N dropped my ice cream, causing a passer by to break down into hysterics.

“How about the first time I kissed you?” I whisper softly, lulling her body into mine closer and seeing Y/N take a deep breath. “Eventually, may I add. It only took me three dates to earn that first kiss.” I tease, seeing a smile play on Y/N’s lips while her hands remain over her heart, her lips capturing a deep breath.

“It was Christmas. We were down at this old coffee shop, run by our two favorite people, Liz and Earl, the most famous elderly people in town. They had decorations filling the entire coffee shop, including mistletoe, it was hung right over the door. When we tried to leave, Liz refused for us to go, unless we kissed. You were blushing like crazy and I was almost sure that you could hear my fast beating heart. Then I slowly leaned in, and our lips met. Your lips were so soft, and they tasted like strawberries and sweet champagne. I remember because you wouldn’t stop talking about how much you loved your new lip balm that felt so wonderful on your lips.” I grin, gently running my thumb across Y/N’s lower lip and running my hand up and down her back as I watch her shoulders and body slowly un-tense.

“And from that moment, I knew that I was truly, deeply, and utterly in love with you.” I smile, watching Y/N nestle her neck into the crook of neck.

“I love you.” Y/N croaks, her voice raspy and I breathe in a deep sigh of relief.

“I love you so much more.” I breathe deeply, pressing my lips to the crown of her head, hugging her body tightly against mine. “So much more.” I murmur, inhaling her sweet perfume.

“Everything is okay, my love. How about, we go inside, and you let me wrap you up and get you warmed up, yeah?” I speak slowly, remaining calm, knowing that her panic attack has ended, but not wanting to startle her or trigger another.

I feel her weakly nod against my chest and that gives me the chance to scoop her up into my arms and lead us back into our house, allowing me to lay her down on our sofa and wrap her up in a cocoon of warm blankets. After clicking the kettle on, I saunter back over to Y/N seeing her watching the latest episode of your/favorite/tv show. I take a seat beside her and tug her into my side, rubbing her arms to heat her up and feeling my panicked thoughts subside.

“I love you, Y/N. Everything will be alright.”

______________

Hello my beautiful lovelies!

How are you all?

I really hope you are having the most amazing day or evening and I really hope you know how much I love you and treasure you. I also hope you know how important you are in this world and how valued you are, you beautiful soul.

I’m back! After almost a month? I think? I could be wrong but I am super sorry for not posting sooner but I am back and I am super exited to write more imagines and series, only if you loves would be interested in reading them of course!

I wrote this imagine last night and I’ve been debating whether or not to post it since I have never had a panic attack. I know that I may not have described a panic attack or the situation of a panic attack correctly and for that I am so deeply sorry. I also really hope that it hasn’t triggered a panic attack for any of you sweet loves. I’ve just seen so many situations of people having panic attacks and I know and have read little messages and comments from you beautiful souls about how you suffer with panic attacks and I just wanted to write a little imagine that I hope might bring comfort since Joe is looking after you in this imagine!

Please don’t be afraid to message me your thoughts and let me know what you think! I love reading your sweet messages! They really mean so much to me! I will most definitely be replying to all of you darling souls!

I promise I will be updating extremely soon again if you’d like me to!

I love you all so, so, so, so incredibly much and I really hope you know that!

All of my love xxx

All of Zoe’s Items!

Hey guys! So I’ve recently put all of Zoe’s clothes that I have on file into little collections on Polyvore. So click these links to see a full collection of every piece I have from that category on file! They date back to 2013 (because that’s how long i’ve been doing this… crazy!) They’re in order from newest to oldest. Have fun browsing!

All of Zoe’s Tops

All of Zoe’s Dresses

All of Zoe’s Shorts

All of Zoe’s Skirts

All of Zoe’s Bags

All of Zoe’s Swimwear

All of Zoe’s Jumpers/Sweaters

All of Zoe’s Shoes 

All of Zoe’s Playsuits

All of Zoe’s Pants

All of Zoe’s Coats

PS If you want me to make another collection, just let me know what category and I’ll make one! Thanks guys, thanks for all the love and support with this blog, I work hard on it and I appreciate your interactions and feedback. :) XOXO

Need more blogs to follow..

Reblog if you post:

-twenty one pilots
-The Front Bottoms
-Bastille
-To Kill A King
-Panic! At The Disco
-Ed Sheeran
-Taylor Swift

-Tronnor
-Connor Franta
-Troye Sivan
-Phan
-Dan Howell
-Phil Lester
-Zoë Sugg
-Caspar Lee
-Alfie Deyes
-Joe Sugg

-Harry Potter
-Caster Chronicles
-The Fosters
-Chasing Life
-Orange is the New Black
-Doctor Who
-Sherlock
-Broadchurch
-Once Upon A Time
-The Royals

New Years Romance. -Joe Sugg Imagine.

December 31st 2015

Currently you were now situated in a glamorous hotel in London. Team Gleam organised a huge New Years Eve celebration for every youtuber in Team Gleam so all of you could party and celebrate the New Year with a bang.

You’re a youtuber yourself and that’s how you managed to swindle your way into the party. This was one of the first party you’ve ever been to that celebrated the New Year. For the last twenty one years of your life, you’ve been greeting the New Year at home with your family. You weren’t exactly a fan of alcoholic beverages and you didn’t like drunk or rowdy crowds, which is something that you would be greeted by if you were to head into town to go to the nightclubs. You would be greeted with nothing but trouble and that’s not how you wanted to celebrate the New Year. Of course now, maybe if you had a boyfriend it might be that little bit different with greeting the New Year. But unfortunately to your dismay, you’ve never had a real boyfriend. Of course now, you’ve kissed a couple of boys but it wasn’t anything special or romantic.

You’ve had your eyes on a certain boy for a while now. His name is Joe and like yourself, he’s also got a YouTube channel with over five million subscribers. You were introduced to Joe by one of your close friends Zoë or also known as ‘Zoella’ on YouTube. Zoë is Joe’s sister and one day while you were both filming a collab, Joe accidentally walked in to greet his sister and let her know of his arrival. That’s the exact moment when you officially began to fall.

His light blue eyes were just honestly hypnotising. His jaw line was perfectly chiseled, making you believe that an angel from above chiseled them to such perfection. His hair was a chestnut colour but also a dirty blonde colour, yet it looked so soft and fluffy, you honestly just wanted to run your hand through it for hours. His skin wasn’t pale but it wasn’t dark either, he had a nice golden colour which gave him a really healthy glow. His smile was the one thing that always made your heart just flutter and his voice always made you melt in the inside. This year you’ve made three collabs with him. The first video was a prank call collab. The second video was the yoga couples challenge, even though you weren’t a couple, you both decided to do the challenge because you were both looking to do the challenge but you couldn’t find a partner to do it with. The third collab was a baking video where you both baked Christmas cookies, since Joe was apparently 'a terrible baker’. His words, not yours.


Every time you both hung out, you honestly thought that your heart was going to explode from your chest from your nervous butterflies. It’s been two hours since you’ve arrived at the party and you haven’t seen a Joe. Since tonight was also the first time you’ve officially gone to a party to celebrate it, you decided to dress yourself up more and make an effort since if you were at home, you would still be dressed in your pyjamas. So tonight you were wearing a beautiful petite cut out panel bardot black dress that you ordered from Misguided, along with black strapped heels. Your hair was slicked back and straightened and thanks to your friend, your face was perfectly contoured and your eyes were sporting a sharp winged eyeliner and your lips were rose red.

The party was now in full swing with music playing and drinks being handed out to everyone. Tonight was a night you honestly just wanted to remember so you were content sipping on some soft minerals. You were listening to Louise talk to you as she spoke about how both should film rather soon since you both haven’t filmed in a couple of months.

“So Y/N? Any boyfriends on the scene or has Joe still captured your heart?” She teased, giggling as she sipped on her white wine and sending you a wink while nudging your side. “Louise!” You gasped, feeling your face flush red from embarrassment as you covered your face with your hand.

“What!? I’m just asking!” She giggled, poking your side and continuing to sip on her wine. “I don’t have a boyfriend..” You explained, sipping on your soda. You watched Louise’s eyes widen as she coughed on her liquid and quickly nudged your side and whispered.

“Joe is checking you out, babe! Oh my god, he’s walking over..” She whispered hurriedly. You could feel your face heating up as you gasped at Louise’s words and felt yourself begin to instantly panic.

“What a surprise? I didn’t think you’d show..” A voice spoke from behind you making you jump as Louise giggled and grinned at the all to familiar boy. You spun around on your heels to face the boy you were deeply in love with. “What a surprise it is to see you!” Louise grinned, her voice slice panicked making Joe furrow his brows and tilt his head confused. “But I told you I would be here Louise!” He chuckled with the shake of his head. You watched Louise’s face flush red at her actions before she nodded to you and then to Joe.

“I’m off to find Zoë! I’ll see you all at the count down?” She asked, making you nod with a smile as you both waved your goodbyes. You turned to Joe who was shaking his head and smiling at you.

“You look beautiful tonight..” He smiled, your heart fluttering at his words while your cheeks tinted pink yet again.

“Why thank you Joe, you look quite dashing yourself..That shirt is really nice on you..” You smiled, pointing to Joe’s shirt while sipping on your drink. You could feel your heart rate increasing as you looked at Joe seeing his eyes scanning your body making your cheeks tint a light pink.

“I thought you’d be celebrating with your family..” You trailed off, keeping your cool as you smiled a warm smile at him.

“Nah, I decided this year, why not celebrate it with some of my favourite people?” Joe smirked, wrapping his arm around your body while pulling you closely as he pressed his cheek against yours.

“We need a picture, that’s exactly what we need!” Joe beamed, taking out his phone and handing it to Caspar who was close by and asked him to take the photo.

Joe’s arm was around your waist while your hand rested on his tummy as you both smiled for the photo. “How cute!” Caspar beamed, smirking over to Joe making him blush. You both looked down to the photo and grinned at how lovely it looked, it looked like you were both a couple and that made your heart very happy indeed. “You’ll have to send that to me later..” You giggled, sipping on your drink.

You both chuckled before your heart instantly skipped as you looked up to Joe. “So, the last time I saw you, you were single. Are you still single?” Joe questioned, his tongue darting across his lips while his eyes gazed at you intently. “Unfortunately..” You sighed with a laugh, running a hand over your dress nervously before you looked up to Joe seeing his eyes glimmering like a child’s on Christmas morning.

“Y/N-” Joe spoke before he was cut off by Oli who asked if he could borrow Joe momentarily making you nod.

“I’ll catch you later..” You smiled at him, disappointment in your voice and sadness in his eyes.

What was it that he was going to say?

___________________________

You spent the night dancing your feet away and singing your heart out with your close and very good friends Louise, Zoë, Tanya and Niomi. Now you were all gathered outside on the large balcony of the hotel. Looking out over the London skyline seeing the entire city glimmering and sparkling. Stars were sprawled across the dark night sky and down below you could see people,preparing the fireworks.

You could feel excitement and nerves pulse through your veins as the minute before midnight struck.

“Y/N!? Y/N!?” A voice yelled. You turned your head to see where the voice was coming from and that’s when you saw Joe pushing his way through the large group of people, his eyes scanning everywhere for you.

“Joe?” You shouted slightly, catching his attention as you tilted your head in confusion.

“Y/N! Thank god, I’ve been looking everywhere for you!” He exclaimed, catching his breath as he stood directly in front of you.

“Y/N, I need to tell you stomach and it really can’t wait any longer-”

“TEN!”

“NINE!”

“EIGHT!”

You looked into Joe’s eyes seeing him look into your eyes desperately.

“What do you need to tell me, Joe?” You asked, raising your voice a little bit to talk over the large shouting crowds.

“SEVEN!”

“SIX!”

“FIVE!”

You watched as Joe looked around, his bottom lip catching between his teeth while his eyes flickered your facial features.

“FOUR!”

“THREE!”

“TWO!”

Suddenly you gasped as Joe grabbed your waist, pulling you against his chest while pressing his lips against yours.

“ONE!”

“HAPPY NEW YEAR!”

Suddenly all you could hear was fireworks ringing in your ears while your hands wrapped around Joe’s neck, your lips instantly moving against his while his hands grasped onto your waist. Slowly you pulled back, both of you catching your breath as you smiled up to Joe.

“Joe..”

“No Y/N, I need to tell you this. I like you..No. I love you Y/N. You’ve made me fall so hard for you and I just..I love you Y/N..” Joe whispered, his hands holding your waist tightly, almost like you were going to vanish away from him.

You could feel your heart betting quickly and your heart flutter in your chest at his words.

“Joe..I’m in love with you too..” You whispered, both of you smiling at one another. As the two of you looked into one another’s eyes, you both laughed quietly before you leaned in for another kiss, the fireworks lighting up in the sky as your fingers ran through his hair.

This was definitely the best New Years celebration, you’ve ever experienced.

2016 was already looking pretty amazing.


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It isn’t 2016 just yet, but I decided to write this imagine after it was requested by the beautiful diamond_puppy_ but wow! It’s almost 2016 and I’m about ten minutes away from the count down! So I’m wishing every single one of you, a very very very happy new year with good health and utter most happiness! I really hope you enjoyed this imagine and please tell me if you did in the comments because I love reading them!

All of my love and let’s roll on 2016! Xxx

Beautiful To Me. -Joe Sugg Imagine.

https://youtu.be/GuKL8JZMrVY

Please listen to the song above before reading this imagine or if you’d prefer you can read it during the imagine :) xxx

_______________________

I leaned my weight against the frame of my bedroom door. My arms were folded across my chest as I watched her. She was so fascinating to me. She sat on my bed, make up brushes and eye shadow palettes spread across the sheets.

I kept silent.

I watched her as she grabbed a hair tie, gathering her luscious locks of hair up into a messy bun. Strands of it fell just before her face, small baby hairs poking out here and there.

She looked gorgeous just sat there in her tracksuit.

I watched her rub a moisturizer onto her face before she started to pump out a liquid onto the back of her hand then applying it to her face.

“What are you looking at?”  She murmured, a laugh passing through her lips as she glanced to my hovering figure.

“You.” I smiled.

I chuckled seeing her tilt her head up to face me, her eyes giving me a pointed look.

“Can’t a guy watch his best friend get ready on his bed? You know you’ve got a very comfortable bed right across the hallway where you could do all of this..” I explained, allowing my tongue to sweep across my lips as I looked at all of the products sprawled across my bed.

“Your room is just so much more fun to do all of this in..” She giggled, using a brush to blend in the make up she had just applied to her skin.

The make up was like her armor for the night ahead. Although, she always used make up. It was a constant protection for her from the outside world. There was never a day when she would not wear make up. It was very rare that I got to see her without it. It would usually be just before she got in the shower that I’d get a glance at her without make up. It would also be just before she’d fall asleep that I would peak my head in through her bedroom door to bid her goodnight, and under the light of moon I was able to see her true beauty.

“I’ll let you get away with it just the once, L/N.” I smirked, gazing into her eye/colour eyes. Her guard was up. It was always up but she would never tell anyone. She would never tell anyone about her problems. She would never tell anyone about her worries. She would never even allow a hint of what she was feeling glow in her eyes.

I could see it though. I could see that she was dealing with worrying problems. I could see through her eyes that she wasn’t feeling herself. I could see in those orbs of her she held many insecurities but she would never let me know.

“Another date?” I question, crossing my leg over the other. I watched as she hummed to my question, dabbing a brush into an eye shadow palette.

I frowned ever so slightly at her response, holding back a deep sigh that I badly wanted to release. I could already picture the night ahead. I felt like I was suddenly zapped into a video game, someone instantly hitting the restart button and bringing me right back to the starting point of the game.

I’m always picking up the pieces once they fall to her feet. I’m like a shadow hovering behind her. She doesn’t know it but I’m always right behind her, picking up the pieces of her that she fall to her feet. I know everyday is a battle for her and it tears her apart, but she’ll never let anyone know. She’ll never let anyone know about the demons that she’s fighting with.  She keeps her guard up constantly, never allowing anyone to see her for what she holds.

Like a shadow, she hides in the background. Whenever she’s brought up in conversation, she’ll switch the subject as quick as she can. She thinks I don’t know, but I do. It’s hard to believe that she’d rather live in the shadows when she’s got such a shining personality and a sweet nature.

“His name is Dylan. We met last week at the local coffee shop.” Y/N smiled, brushing a rosy shade across her cheeks with a fluffy brush.

I nodded my head to her words, keeping my lips sealed like an envelope. I wanted nothing more than to take her by the shoulders and tell her to stay at home with me. I couldn’t do that.  I’m meant to support her. I’m meant to encourage her to get out there and find a sweet guy that will love her unconditionally.  

“Okay out, out, out! I’m getting changed now!” She grinned, shooing me out of the room as I gasped.

“Yes, get ready in Joe’s room! It’s not like you’ve got your own room right across the hall!” I exasperated, rolling my eyes in a playful manor before I exited my bedroom, leaving her to get changed.

I walked upstairs, sitting myself down on the white plush sofa in anticipation. I grinned immediately seeing a picture of Y/N and I on the coffee table.

I couldn’t be any more lucky than to live with her. I couldn’t wait to wake up every morning just to see her and all her beauty. She was my best friend and much more to me. She could brighten New York City with that radiant smile of hers. Her laugh could cure any type of illness it was that contagious.

My ears tuned in to the clicking of heels. I turned my head only to feel my jaw fall open and instantly shut close. I watched her as she shyly twirled a strand of her hair around her finger. Her hair was now falling around her shoulders in neat waves. Her body was decorated with a simple flowing white dress, wedged sandals protecting her feet while a matching clutch rested in her hand.

“How do I look? Do I look like I’ve overdone it? Do I look too eager?” Y/N asked, a timid smile resting on her lips as she looked at herself in the living room mirror, giving herself a look over.

I couldn’t help but allow my eyes to scan her from head to toe, my breath catching in my throat at the sight of her.

She was so beautiful. So incredibly beautiful and she didn’t know it.  I always loved the moment when we would walk into a restaurant or even a shop because everyone would just immediately stop what they were doing and stare at her. A stare of fascination. A stare that would make her look away shyly while she’d hide behind me like a timid shadow. Everyone would still continue to stare while we walked further into the building, completely taken a back by her breath taking beauty.

“You look beautiful. Absolutely beautiful, Y/N.” I smiled brightly, watching a rosy blush cover her cheeks while a small smile took over her nude lips.

“You’re always the charmer, aren’t you Joseph?” She giggled, bending down to my sitting figure before she pressed a kiss to my cheek.

“Well I better get going..” Y/N trailed off, an excited tone in her voice.

“Wait! Let me get a picture of you.” I grinned, standing to my feet while sliding my phone out of my pocket and positioned her back against the wall hearing her protests.

“Just one photo!” I chuckled, crossing my eyes to create a funny face causing her to laugh. I grinned hearing that contagious laugh break through her lips while her Oscar Award winning smile over took her lips, my phone snapping the picture instantly creating a beautiful memory already.

“Okay, okay, you’ve had your photo! I better get going now! I’ll see you later!” Y/N laughed, kissing my cheek before she waved me off.

I watched her leave, an empty feeling now settling in my stomach as I sighed sitting down on the sofa, waiting for the time that she would return.

____________________________________

I murmured while clicking around my computer, editing my new Sugg Sunday video. I was quite happy with how this week’s video turned out. I did the room mate tag with Y/N but of course, I added a little twist to it. I asked Y/N some room mate questions that I would only know the answer to but if she failed to answer the question correctly, she would get a shock from my electric shock pads.

I chuckled as I watched Y/N squeal from getting a shock, making sure to leave that clip in the video. My eyes suddenly widened while my body jumped from shock at the sound of the front door slamming shut. Following the rough slam of the door, I could hear the sound of rapid heels clicking against the wood before the slam of the door facing mine echoed around the flat.

I shifted in my seat, saving the work I’ve edited. I shuffled out of my room, stepping across the hallway and pressing my ear against the door. I could feel my heart breaking hearing quiet sobs and sniffles on the other side.

I pushed down on the handle, opening the door and entering into her room. I turned to see Y/N laying down on her bed, her face pressed into her white pillow.

“Joe, get out!” She cried, her voice straining slightly. I frowned, listening to the sound of rain pelt lightly against the window. I watched as tears dripped down her tender cheeks like the rain drops that were now falling from the sky.

I approached her bed side, sitting my figure down on the edge while I laid on my side to face her.

“Joe, I told you to get out! Please just leave me alone!” Y/N sobbed, her hand reaching out to hit my chest.

I let her though. I let her punch me relentlessly. I was always her hand to hold, even if she didn’t know it. It was often that she would push me hard. She never wanted me to see behind the walls she built so high and around herself. She kept everything to herself, always pushing me away when she was upset. I never let go though. I would never let go. I held her hand through everything even when she didn’t want me to.

“What happened Y/N?” I ask softly, keeping my voice low while I gently grasped onto her hand.

I watched as she sniffled, lifting her head to reveal herself to me. I noted the black mascara that was staining her cheeks while her tear eyes stained with a red colour. I frowned deeper at the sight of her, gently rubbing soothing circles onto the back of her hand with the pad of my thumb.

“M-my date never showed up..” Y/N sniffled, her voice wavering as tears slipped down her cheeks. I frowned deeply at her words, anger pulsing through my veins at her words while my jaw clenched ever so slightly.

He never showed up? What an absolute d*ck.

“What is it about me and guys Joe?” She sniffled, hiccuping through tears.

“I’m never good enough! I thought I had a shot with this guy! I bet if I was a tall and skinny blonde girl it would have all worked out! What is it about me Joe? You’re a guy tell me!” She cried, standing to her feet while stopping as she looked in the mirror.

“It’s everything about me that’s just wrong, isn’t it? Are my thighs too big? Are my teeth not straight enough? Look at my stomach, it’s this stupid little tummy of mine!” Y/N cried loudly, tears falling rapidly down her cheeks while she tugged at her hair in frustration.

It had happened. In one fleeting moment it had suddenly happened. She had let her guard down and now I could see what’s been hiding behind those walls she built so high. All of her insecurities she had were now being revealed to me.

“What type of guy would want to date me anyways!? I’ve got the worst eye colour, my hair is boring and bland! Look at my thighs! They’re huge! Gosh, I’m nothing but a slob! I need to join a gym and just lose this stomach of mine!”  She cried, loud and heavy sobs leaving her lips while her chest heaved.

“Y/N!” I yelled loudly, jumping to my feet while I frowned in frustration, running my hands through my hair as I caught her attention.

“Stop! Stop! Stop! You’re absolutely insane! You’re crazy!  You don’t need to change! You don’t need to change your beautiful body! You’re perfect! You’re so beautiful that you can’t even see it! How can you not see it Y/N!?” I yelled, watching her jaw drop ever so slightly at my words.

“You don’t need a guys approval to tell you that your beautiful!” I yelled, tugging at my own hair feeling my heart pound heavily against my chest.

“I’m absolutely crazy about you! I’m so infatuated with you! I’d travel to another world just for you! I’d do anything for you, I’d go anywhere for you! Do you know how much it kills me to see you going out with the wrong guys!? When you come home from dates with the wrong guy, I’m always the one that’s picking up the pieces and you don’t even know it!” I yelled, brushing away the tears that were threatening to spill from my eyes before I slowly approach Y/N, taking her hands into mine and pulling her body closer to mine as I gazed into her eyes.

“Oh sweet, sweet, sweet Y/N. I wish you could see what I could see. When I look at you, I see a beautiful girl with shining eyes. I see a girl with a breath taking smile and a cute button nose. Your hair is gorgeous, just the way it is. I guarantee you that there are millions of girls in this world that would kill to have hair like yours. Your body is perfect. Your simply crazy if you can’t see it. You’ve got a beautiful shining soul and a heart made of pure gold.” I whisper, softly brushing away the tears that trickle down her cheeks. I noticed the way her eyes focused on me, a dazed look in her eyes as she listened.

“When we go out, people stop and stare just to gaze at your beauty. They stop and stare because they’ve never seen someone as beautiful as you. Y/N you’re like a star. A beautiful, shimmering bright star that could light up the sky. You’re so beautiful. So incredibly beautiful and I never want you to change who you are or your appearance. You’re so, so beautiful..You’re beautiful to me..I wish you could see that..” I whisper quietly as I gently cupped her cheek in my hand, pressing my forehead against hers feeling her arms wrap around my neck.

“I’m crazy about you Y/N and I don’t think I could live without you..I don’t know what this world would be like without you but I know it is a world I wouldn’t like to be in..” I say softly, gazing into her eyes that were definitely my favorite feature about her.

I watched as a smile broke onto her lips, her teary eyes now gleaming with colour.

“Joe Sugg..You’ve completely left me speechless..” She spoke quietly, her eyes beaming up at me while a small smile made its way onto my lips.

“Thank you..” She mumbled, her fingers now playing with my hair.

“You can’t thank me for stating the truth Y/N.” I explained, a playful smile now forming on her lips while the sound of our breathing filled the quiet room.

It was almost like time had slowed down. My eyes were completely hypnotized by her beauty.  I couldn’t hold myself back. I had to do it. She looked like a glorious angel and it was almost like someone had pushed me.

Our lips suddenly connected, my hands now sliding to her waist and moving to the small of her back, pulling her closely against my chest as our lips moved in a deep and passionate sync. Colours erupted through my closed eyes while the sound of fireworks rang in my ears loudly. I could feel her heart beat move in rhythm with mine as our lips moved together like they were made for one another.

Slowly I pulled back, only to mumble the words that I’ve held back for so many years.

I could feel myself smile against her lips as I whispered softly.

“My beautiful Y/N, I have loved you for so many years and I will gladly love you for many more. It would be a pleasure to spend the rest of my life telling you how much I love you..”

Please listen to the song above before reading this imagine or if you’d prefer you can read it during the imagine :) xxx

_______________________

I leaned my weight against the frame of my bedroom door. My arms were folded across my chest as I watched her. She was so fascinating to me. She sat on my bed, make up brushes and eye shadow palettes spread across the sheets.

I kept silent.

I watched her as she grabbed a hair tie, gathering her luscious locks of hair up into a messy bun. Strands of it fell just before her face, small baby hairs poking out here and there.

She looked gorgeous just sat there in her tracksuit.

I watched her rub a moisturizer onto her face before she started to pump out a liquid onto the back of her hand then applying it to her face.

“What are you looking at?”  She murmured, a laugh passing through her lips as she glanced to my hovering figure.

“You.” I smiled.

I chuckled seeing her tilt her head up to face me, her eyes giving me a pointed look.

“Can’t a guy watch his best friend get ready on his bed? You know you’ve got a very comfortable bed right across the hallway where you could do all of this..” I explained, allowing my tongue to sweep across my lips as I looked at all of the products sprawled across my bed.

“Your room is just so much more fun to do all of this in..” She giggled, using a brush to blend in the make up she had just applied to her skin.

The make up was like her armor for the night ahead. Although, she always used make up. It was a constant protection for her from the outside world. There was never a day when she would not wear make up. It was very rare that I got to see her without it. It would usually be just before she got in the shower that I’d get a glance at her without make up. It would also be just before she’d fall asleep that I would peak my head in through her bedroom door to bid her goodnight, and under the light of moon I was able to see her true beauty.

“I’ll let you get away with it just the once, L/N.” I smirked, gazing into her eye/colour eyes. Her guard was up. It was always up but she would never tell anyone. She would never tell anyone about her problems. She would never tell anyone about her worries. She would never even allow a hint of what she was feeling glow in her eyes.

I could see it though. I could see that she was dealing with worrying problems. I could see through her eyes that she wasn’t feeling herself. I could see in those orbs of her she held many insecurities but she would never let me know.

“Another date?” I question, crossing my leg over the other. I watched as she hummed to my question, dabbing a brush into an eye shadow palette.

I frowned ever so slightly at her response, holding back a deep sigh that I badly wanted to release. I could already picture the night ahead. I felt like I was suddenly zapped into a video game, someone instantly hitting the restart button and bringing me right back to the starting point of the game.

I’m always picking up the pieces once they fall to her feet. I’m like a shadow hovering behind her. She doesn’t know it but I’m always right behind her, picking up the pieces of her that she fall to her feet. I know everyday is a battle for her and it tears her apart, but she’ll never let anyone know. She’ll never let anyone know about the demons that she’s fighting with.  She keeps her guard up constantly, never allowing anyone to see her for what she holds.

Like a shadow, she hides in the background. Whenever she’s brought up in conversation, she’ll switch the subject as quick as she can. She thinks I don’t know, but I do. It’s hard to believe that she’d rather live in the shadows when she’s got such a shining personality and a sweet nature.

“His name is Dylan. We met last week at the local coffee shop.” Y/N smiled, brushing a rosy shade across her cheeks with a fluffy brush.

I nodded my head to her words, keeping my lips sealed like an envelope. I wanted nothing more than to take her by the shoulders and tell her to stay at home with me. I couldn’t do that.  I’m meant to support her. I’m meant to encourage her to get out there and find a sweet guy that will love her unconditionally.  

“Okay out, out, out! I’m getting changed now!” She grinned, shooing me out of the room as I gasped.

“Yes, get ready in Joe’s room! It’s not like you’ve got your own room right across the hall!” I exasperated, rolling my eyes in a playful manor before I exited my bedroom, leaving her to get changed.

I walked upstairs, sitting myself down on the white plush sofa in anticipation. I grinned immediately seeing a picture of Y/N and I on the coffee table.

I couldn’t be any more lucky than to live with her. I couldn’t wait to wake up every morning just to see her and all her beauty. She was my best friend and much more to me. She could brighten New York City with that radiant smile of hers. Her laugh could cure any type of illness it was that contagious.

My ears tuned in to the clicking of heels. I turned my head only to feel my jaw fall open and instantly shut close. I watched her as she shyly twirled a strand of her hair around her finger. Her hair was now falling around her shoulders in neat waves. Her body was decorated with a simple flowing white dress, wedged sandals protecting her feet while a matching clutch rested in her hand.

“How do I look? Do I look like I’ve overdone it? Do I look too eager?” Y/N asked, a timid smile resting on her lips as she looked at herself in the living room mirror, giving herself a look over.

I couldn’t help but allow my eyes to scan her from head to toe, my breath catching in my throat at the sight of her.

She was so beautiful. So incredibly beautiful and she didn’t know it.  I always loved the moment when we would walk into a restaurant or even a shop because everyone would just immediately stop what they were doing and stare at her. A stare of fascination. A stare that would make her look away shyly while she’d hide behind me like a timid shadow. Everyone would still continue to stare while we walked further into the building, completely taken a back by her breath taking beauty.

“You look beautiful. Absolutely beautiful, Y/N.” I smiled brightly, watching a rosy blush cover her cheeks while a small smile took over her nude lips.

“You’re always the charmer, aren’t you Joseph?” She giggled, bending down to my sitting figure before she pressed a kiss to my cheek.

“Well I better get going..” Y/N trailed off, an excited tone in her voice.

“Wait! Let me get a picture of you.” I grinned, standing to my feet while sliding my phone out of my pocket and positioned her back against the wall hearing her protests.

“Just one photo!” I chuckled, crossing my eyes to create a funny face causing her to laugh. I grinned hearing that contagious laugh break through her lips while her Oscar Award winning smile over took her lips, my phone snapping the picture instantly creating a beautiful memory already.

“Okay, okay, you’ve had your photo! I better get going now! I’ll see you later!” Y/N laughed, kissing my cheek before she waved me off.

I watched her leave, an empty feeling now settling in my stomach as I sighed sitting down on the sofa, waiting for the time that she would return.

____________________________________

I murmured while clicking around my computer, editing my new Sugg Sunday video. I was quite happy with how this week’s video turned out. I did the room mate tag with Y/N but of course, I added a little twist to it. I asked Y/N some room mate questions that I would only know the answer to but if she failed to answer the question correctly, she would get a shock from my electric shock pads.

I chuckled as I watched Y/N squeal from getting a shock, making sure to leave that clip in the video. My eyes suddenly widened while my body jumped from shock at the sound of the front door slamming shut. Following the rough slam of the door, I could hear the sound of rapid heels clicking against the wood before the slam of the door facing mine echoed around the flat.

I shifted in my seat, saving the work I’ve edited. I shuffled out of my room, stepping across the hallway and pressing my ear against the door. I could feel my heart breaking hearing quiet sobs and sniffles on the other side.

I pushed down on the handle, opening the door and entering into her room. I turned to see Y/N laying down on her bed, her face pressed into her white pillow.

“Joe, get out!” She cried, her voice straining slightly. I frowned, listening to the sound of rain pelt lightly against the window. I watched as tears dripped down her tender cheeks like the rain drops that were now falling from the sky.

I approached her bed side, sitting my figure down on the edge while I laid on my side to face her.

“Joe, I told you to get out! Please just leave me alone!” Y/N sobbed, her hand reaching out to hit my chest.

I let her though. I let her punch me relentlessly. I was always her hand to hold, even if she didn’t know it. It was often that she would push me hard. She never wanted me to see behind the walls she built so high and around herself. She kept everything to herself, always pushing me away when she was upset. I never let go though. I would never let go. I held her hand through everything even when she didn’t want me to.

“What happened Y/N?” I ask softly, keeping my voice low while I gently grasped onto her hand.

I watched as she sniffled, lifting her head to reveal herself to me. I noted the black mascara that was staining her cheeks while her tear eyes stained with a red colour. I frowned deeper at the sight of her, gently rubbing soothing circles onto the back of her hand with the pad of my thumb.

“M-my date never showed up..” Y/N sniffled, her voice wavering as tears slipped down her cheeks. I frowned deeply at her words, anger pulsing through my veins at her words while my jaw clenched ever so slightly.

He never showed up? What an absolute d*ck.

“What is it about me and guys Joe?” She sniffled, hiccuping through tears.

“I’m never good enough! I thought I had a shot with this guy! I bet if I was a tall and skinny blonde girl it would have all worked out! What is it about me Joe? You’re a guy tell me!” She cried, standing to her feet while stopping as she looked in the mirror.

“It’s everything about me that’s just wrong, isn’t it? Are my thighs too big? Are my teeth not straight enough? Look at my stomach, it’s this stupid little tummy of mine!” Y/N cried loudly, tears falling rapidly down her cheeks while she tugged at her hair in frustration.

It had happened. In one fleeting moment it had suddenly happened. She had let her guard down and now I could see what’s been hiding behind those walls she built so high. All of her insecurities she had were now being revealed to me.

“What type of guy would want to date me anyways!? I’ve got the worst eye colour, my hair is boring and bland! Look at my thighs! They’re huge! Gosh, I’m nothing but a slob! I need to join a gym and just lose this stomach of mine!”  She cried, loud and heavy sobs leaving her lips while her chest heaved.

“Y/N!” I yelled loudly, jumping to my feet while I frowned in frustration, running my hands through my hair as I caught her attention.

“Stop! Stop! Stop! You’re absolutely insane! You’re crazy!  You don’t need to change! You don’t need to change your beautiful body! You’re perfect! You’re so beautiful that you can’t even see it! How can you not see it Y/N!?” I yelled, watching her jaw drop ever so slightly at my words.

“You don’t need a guys approval to tell you that your beautiful!” I yelled, tugging at my own hair feeling my heart pound heavily against my chest.

“I’m absolutely crazy about you! I’m so infatuated with you! I’d travel to another world just for you! I’d do anything for you, I’d go anywhere for you! Do you know how much it kills me to see you going out with the wrong guys!? When you come home from dates with the wrong guy, I’m always the one that’s picking up the pieces and you don’t even know it!” I yelled, brushing away the tears that were threatening to spill from my eyes before I slowly approach Y/N, taking her hands into mine and pulling her body closer to mine as I gazed into her eyes.

“Oh sweet, sweet, sweet Y/N. I wish you could see what I could see. When I look at you, I see a beautiful girl with shining eyes. I see a girl with a breath taking smile and a cute button nose. Your hair is gorgeous, just the way it is. I guarantee you that there are millions of girls in this world that would kill to have hair like yours. Your body is perfect. Your simply crazy if you can’t see it. You’ve got a beautiful shining soul and a heart made of pure gold.” I whisper, softly brushing away the tears that trickle down her cheeks. I noticed the way her eyes focused on me, a dazed look in her eyes as she listened.

“When we go out, people stop and stare just to gaze at your beauty. They stop and stare because they’ve never seen someone as beautiful as you. Y/N you’re like a star. A beautiful, shimmering bright star that could light up the sky. You’re so beautiful. So incredibly beautiful and I never want you to change who you are or your appearance. You’re so, so beautiful..You’re beautiful to me..I wish you could see that..” I whisper quietly as I gently cupped her cheek in my hand, pressing my forehead against hers feeling her arms wrap around my neck.

“I’m crazy about you Y/N and I don’t think I could live without you..I don’t know what this world would be like without you but I know it is a world I wouldn’t like to be in..” I say softly, gazing into her eyes that were definitely my favorite feature about her.

I watched as a smile broke onto her lips, her teary eyes now gleaming with colour.

“Joe Sugg..You’ve completely left me speechless..” She spoke quietly, her eyes beaming up at me while a small smile made its way onto my lips.

“Thank you..” She mumbled, her fingers now playing with my hair.

“You can’t thank me for stating the truth Y/N.” I explained, a playful smile now forming on her lips while the sound of our breathing filled the quiet room.

It was almost like time had slowed down. My eyes were completely hypnotized by her beauty.  I couldn’t hold myself back. I had to do it. She looked like a glorious angel and it was almost like someone had pushed me.

Our lips suddenly connected, my hands now sliding to her waist and moving to the small of her back, pulling her closely against my chest as our lips moved in a deep and passionate sync. Colours erupted through my closed eyes while the sound of fireworks rang in my ears loudly. I could feel her heart beat move in rhythm with mine as our lips moved together like they were made for one another.

Slowly I pulled back, only to mumble the words that I’ve held back for so many years.

I could feel myself smile against her lips as I whispered softly.

“My beautiful Y/N, I have loved you for so many years and I will gladly love you for many more. It would be a pleasure to spend the rest of my life telling you how much I love you..”