Aries: Want to know a secret?

Taurus: Don’t mix anger and rocks. Unless for a justifiable cause.

Gemini: Holding onto ashes leaves your hands dusty and your breathing ragged. They are ashes for a reason.

Cancer: Flipping coins for it is not technically legally binding unless there’s a notarized agreement signed before hand with three witnesses.

Leo: Pulling yourself up by your bootstraps is physically impossible for a mortal. Don’t worry about it.

Virgo: Hand over hand over hand. Paw over hand. The Cat wins.

Libra: Singing soothes the thunderstorm in your bones.

Scorpio: Beating your skull against the floor is not the correct answer.

Sagittarius: Can you grind your teeth a little more quietly? It’s becoming concerning.

Capricorn: Writing letters to strangers from the phone-book is a cute idea in theory. It gets awkward when you get a letter back informing you the person is deceased, though.

Aquarius: Wind-chimes and smoke. The leaves are showing their bellies. More than one storm is coming.

Pisces: You filthy monster fucker. You’re wonderful.

The Signs As The Walking Dead Characters

Aries: Merle Dixon

Originally posted by dixon-udonta-love

Taurus: Carol Peletier

Originally posted by twd-caryl-spn-destiel-enthusiast

Gemini: Rick Grimes

Originally posted by ricky-grimes

Cancer: Maggie Greene

Originally posted by pofudukgillerden

Leo: Daryl Dixon

Originally posted by onlydarylnormanfic

Virgo: Beth Greene

Originally posted by enidxgrimes

Libra: Carl Grimes

Originally posted by chandlerhuggs

Scorpio: Negan

Originally posted by sassmastersarahkv

Sagittarius: Glenn Rhee

Originally posted by trechos-of-books

Capricorn: Michonne

Originally posted by myfriendamy

Aquarius: Rosita Espinosa

Originally posted by thewalkingwho

Pisces: Hershel Greene

Originally posted by astrologyexplained

How the signs react when someone farts

Aries: accepts fate and wafts it towards themselves

Taurus: violently opens window

Gemini: laughs

Cancer: screams and wafts it “BE FREE”

Leo: plugs nose but is low-key impressed

Virgo: stares at you very unimpressed “k”

Libra: runs before anything bad happens

Scorpio: uses the lords name in vain

Sagittarius: rips an even worse one

Capricorn: laughs historically and runs away

Aquarius: *pulls out perfume* “Ew”

Pisces: kills self

ENFP f, Sagittarius, Slytherin
Requested by @meandnoonelse :) hope you like it!

ya know when people immediately dismiss astrology but know literally nothing about it? like??? how am I supposed to respect ur opinion when you literally don’t know what you are talking about!??

sure I get it, not everyone likes astrology or believes in it (& that’s cool too), but when they straight up hardcore diss it with out learning anything about it??