Young Justice team when asked what they think about Batman
Kaldur: “He is a wise and trustworthy leader. I respect him highly and never doubt his decisions."
Conner: "Guy’s a jerk."
M'gann: "Batman? He scares me. He’s always glaring silently as if planning to kill us or something. Once I tried reading his mind, but all I heard was echoes. It’s creepy."
Wally: "Pfft, Bats? Please, the guy’s a total pushover. Once I was over their place and Robin and I made a blanket fort in the Batcave, and you know what Batman did? He just walked out of there and worked somewhere else. He’s probably nicer than my own parents."
Artemis: "Literally the only person in the universe I don’t want to mess with, which says a lot cuz I’ll fight anyone."
Robin: "B and I are going out for ice cream after patrol.” :)
Even fucking Odin recognizes Loki’s being genderfluid:
(Yea I know; Odin’s language is rather binary, but I’ll take my victories where I can get them.)
Loki’s also canon bi btw. Well I mean they don’t quite understand the need to label themself, but yea:
Basically they are one of my faves and I’m really glad that they are more or less one of the good guys since their reincarnation, even being on the Young Avengers team! (Also their being genderfluid and bi has been more explored since becoming more a of a good guy, so it’s not the whole queer coding villains thing either!)
So, in 2013 Claude Giroux coached at a hockey camp where he mentored players for a week and worked on their skills and got to draft his own team of young players. At the end of the week Ryanne (Giroux’s fiancee) posted a photo from the bus that the team traveled to the rink in.
Since a lot of people seemed to like the Lance and Keith one (or thought it was something from their nightmares), thought I’d do the rest of the paladins. Except Shiro. Because it’s just far, far more entertaining to imagine him dealing with a team of young bytors.xD
The Young Justice team as things my chemistry class has said:
M'gann: *teacher announces pop quiz* “Where are the aliens when you need them, and can they please abduct me and take me away from this awful place"
Artemis: "I’ll have you know, there’s fifteen bags of pot in my locker and I swear to god I’ll break into your house, plant them all under your pillow, and have the police take you away unless you give back that strawberry smencil right now"
Jaime: "I want to die” “Wow, same, let’s jump out that window while the teacher’s not looking”
Wally: “What do you get when you mix beauty and a nice personality? A date with me, hello"
Conner: *breaks hour long silence* "You know, I ate a shark once"
Kaldur:*kid answers obvious question completely wrong* Teacher: "You know, I could have been a surgeon or a scientist, but nooo, I decided to come here and meet all of you people"
Zatanna: "Wtf, I got a hundred on the quiz?!” *whispers* “Thank you, illuminati”
Bart: *lights Bunsen burner and holds finger near flame* “I’ll touch this for a dollar”
Raquel: *two students are talking three feet away from each other* “OH MAH GAWD, GET A ROOM"
Roy: "Where do babies come from?” “Yo mamma"
Dick: "How much of these chemicals do I have to drink to get superpowers"
Tim: "My brother got arrested yesterday, so guess who’s the favorite child now”
Mal:*principal announces lockdown drill over loudspeaker* “Oh well, I guess we’re all dying today, it was fun while it lasted"
Virgil: "Excuse me teacher? Yeah, um, my sleeve caught on fire what do I do now"
Garfield: "I swear to god my dog actually ate my homework you have to believe me”
Concept: Loki as an unauthorized extremely Official starter villain ‘entry exam’ for kids wanting to be superheroes.
Maybe the kids really are metahumans trying to get the hang of their powers, maybe they’re just trying to be super like Daredevil, whichever, whatever. What matters is it somehow gets around that to join such-and-such superhero team–Avengers, Young/New Avengers, X-Men, Defenders, Champions, et cetera–or just to earn the title of superhero in their own right, the wee would-be heroes have to defeat Loki.
Defeat here could mean anything from the kid with flimsy telekinesis bouncing a pebble off the god’s shin to a toddler thwarting some Devious Scheme to jaywalk by herding Loki to the crosswalk.
A new Jubilee-flavored mutant shows up with more glitter in their arsenal than pyrokinesis, but when their twinkling might strikes the god, Loki crumples onto the sidewalk, prone and vanquished.
Loki tries to steal some trinket from a street vendor and is stopped by the child alternately speaking faux-magical spells or poking their side with a pink plastic scepter.
However it goes down Loki curses their heroism even as they pass out goodie bags of very definitely not stolen swag from miscellaneous hero teams. Loki points out communicators and superhero phone numbers that the kids should call as often as physically possible. Like, constantly. Especially in the middle of the night. Superheroes love that.
My favorite thing: Thinking about how much fun Dick (the trolliest Robin) would have pranking the Young Justice team on April Fool’s Day:
Conner gets out of the shower to discover that the clothes he’d left had mysteriously been replaced with a pink bunny suit
M'gann tries to watch tv but finds that every channel on the television has been replaced by either Bee Movie or Rick Astley’s Never Gonna Give You Up music video and she doesn’t know which is worse
Artemis wakes up from a nap and doesn’t notice someone shaved off part of her eyebrow
Kaldur takes a swim but discovers that someone slipped dye in the pool and now his hair and skin is green
Raquel bites into an apple but realizes too late that it’s actually just a fake apple skin filled with ketchup
Roy goes into his apartment but is startled to find that every single surface has been covered completely in Shrek faces
Zatanna tries doing her homework but each of her pens self destructs five seconds after she touches it and turns into a flower (Dick just didn’t have it in him to do a mean prank, but he couldn’t leave her out of the April Fool’s fun)
Someone mysteriously tampered with Red Tornado’s programming and now he can only speak in rhymes
But he saves the best for Wally, because every year they have a competition to see who can prank the other the most. Dick has won four years in a row, whereas Wally has never succeeded in pranking Dick once
Just a few of the many pranks Dick has pulled on Wally this April Fool’s Day:
- Replacing the lenses of his goggles with pictures of naked Aquaman
- Paying everyone five bucks to call him Waldo and Speedy the entire day
- Changing the ringer on his phone to a recording of Conner screaming
- Convincing Zatanna to curse Wally to sing the entirety of Bohemian Rhapsody whenever someone says the word “whelmed”
From the Reader’s Choice, this was the most requested fic: Batmom taking in Conner after
Superman rejects him and the boys being a little uncomfortable and Bruce being
mad but her convincing them that he’s just like them (+ jokes about him looking
just like all the others with dark hair/blue eyes)?
Author’s Note: So Match and Conner are from the Young Justice TV show. The timeline is a little different in this story. The Young Justice team was disbanded, Superboy was never found by the sidekicks, the Justice League found them. I think that’s all!
Let me know what you think, and if you think I should continue the series!!
You are watching up in the
Watchtower when Superman finds his two clones. One made with his exact DNA,
later named Match, and one who’s DNA was spliced with Lex Luthor’s DNA, later
named Conner. Both boys are transported up to the Watchtower, still inside
their containment pods, so J’onn can examine their mental state.
The medical bay doors slide
open, and you step inside, “How are they, J’onn?”
The Martian hums, “This one,
the exact clone, he is unstable. I will do my best to settle his mind, however
that is not a permanent solution. Batman has already agreed to help find a
cure. He believes that it is the full Kryptonian DNA, as the other one, who is
half human, does not show the same signs”
“I’ll help him when I’m done
here.” Glancing over at the viewing window, you glimpse a red cape slipping out
of view, “How’s Superman taking all this?”
“He seems … angry … at this
turn of events. He has already decided that he does not want the children”
You twitch, brow furrowing,
“What does he plan to do with them?”
“He is uncertain, it is one
of the reasons for his agitation”
“I’ll let you get back to
work, J’onn, I want to see how far Batman has gotten with his research”
“I wish you luck”
“Bruce, you don’t understand,
Clark doesn’t want the boys. He doesn’t want to take care of them, teach them to
use their powers, he can barely stand to be in the same room as them, and they
haven’t even woken up yet!!”
“Y/N, we don’t need any more
children. Damian is already filling the Manor with animals, Tim is constantly
bringing the Teen Titans here, Jason has the Outlaws, Dick may be in Bludhaven
but he comes to the Manor almost every weekend, and I have Gotham to take care
of. Who is going to teach these clones everything that they need to know?”
“No, Bruce, listen. These are
two boys who have never been outside of that pod, and if they were it was to do
Cadmus’ bidding! Two boys who have never known what it’s like to be a part of a
family! Are you really going to let them be tossed aside by Clark? Because if
you are then … then … then I’m going to move up to the Watchtower to take care
of them” You cross your arms over your chest, “Yeah, that’s what I’m going to
do, and you’re going to have to explain to the boys why I’m never around
“You’re being ridiculous!”
“I am not! I want to help
them in the only way I know how, by being a mother”
Bruce groans, he’s never been
able to deny you anything, “Fine! But you’re the one who has to explain
everything to the boys! And … and I’m mad at you!”
You raise your nose in an
obnoxiously aristocratic manor, “I don’t know why you would be, they
“Every other male child you
have brought into the Manor has had dark hair, and blue eyes. Both of the
Superboy’s have black hair and blue eyes. So, they match the set” It had been a
running joke between you and your boys. The fact the Bruce Wayne seems to only
ever adopt dark haired boys with blue eyes was a rumor that had been circling
Gotham for a while. It was a joke that you had kept from your husband for
several years. Well, the secret’s out now!
Bruce groans again, and you
can hear him bang his head down on the lab table he’s working at. Stifling a
laugh, you quickly make your way up the Batcave stairs. It’s time to have a
family meeting, and let the boys know that they’ll be getting two new brothers,
that is if the Superboy’s agree to your offer.
The boys all agree to come to
dinner the next night, curious about the news you have for them. Once everyone
is finished eating, you usher your children into the study to tell them the
“So, I know you all have
heard about the two new Supers up in the Watchtower …”
Damian groans, “Please tell
me that father has not decided to house those abominations!”
“No, Bruce didn’t decide
anything … I did. I decided that we would be giving the two boys a home. Bruce
is down in the cave right now, working on a serum that will stabilize one of
the clones’ DNA …”
“They aren’t even stable?!?
And you want to bring them here?!” Jason shoots up from his chair, angrily
pacing in front of you, “Mom, you’re human, they could kill you with a look,
and they aren’t even stable …”
“They will be stable once
Bruce finishes the serum.” You lean forward, making it a point to meet the eyes
of each of your sons, “These boys don’t have anywhere else to go. Yes, they can
stay up in the Watchtower, surrounded by people who will inadvertently
ostracize them, or study them. Yes, the JL can force Superman to look after him
two clones, and he’ll probably stick them in his Fortress of Solitude to be
taught by an AI. Or, I can bring them here, teach them about humans, help them
obtain new skills, experience new things.” You rub your temples, “Boys, I took
each of you in, raised you as my own, and loved you like any mother would. I
can’t just sit by and watch two children suffer when I know I can help them”
Tim hums softly, and smirks,
“Do they match?”
“Of course! You think I would
try and bring boys into this house who don’t match! They both have black hair
and bright blue eyes”
“tt, I suppose it would be a
good thing to have two Supers on our side”
Dick shrugs, “Yeah, I mean I
only come around for visits every once and a while, but I think it would be a
good idea to make sure that two Kryptonians don’t start hating Earth”
“Good point” Tim leans back in his chair, “I would like a sample of their blood before they moved in though”
He turns big eyes on you, hoping that you’ll be able to get him what his little
detective brain wants.
“No, you can’t have a sample
of their blood … but, I can let you look at their files” Tim lets out a
triumphant shout, wiggling excitedly. Now you turn to Jason, the only one to
not readily agree. “Boys, why don’t you go see what Alfred has for dessert, I
need to talk to Jason alone”
Once everyone else is gone,
you shift closer to your second oldest son, but before you can say anything,
Jason starts to speak, “I don’t think this is a good idea! What if they turn
out to be crazy? What if they go on a rampage? What if they can’t control their
powers?” His voice drops, eyes no longer meeting yours, “What if they hurt
Quickly slipping to kneel on
the floor, you tilt Jason’s chin, forcing him to meet your eyes, “They might
hurt me, Jaybird. I can’t guarantee that they won’t. But they won’t kill me,
they won’t make me love you any less. If you’re that nervous about them moving
in, come stay at the Manor for their first two weeks. You can help me get them
settled, and see for yourself how they are, okay?”
“Good boy, now come on. I
don’t want Dick to eat all the cookies again”
Jason flashes a brief smile,
before he takes off toward the kitchen. Alfred’s cookies can be quite the
motivating force among the bat family members.
another week after the serum is given to the clones before J’onn thinks that
it’s safe enough to wake them.
course, you demanded to be there. Bruce had tried to talk you out of it, but
you were adamant that one of the first faces they see be yours.
full Kryptonian, the one dubbed “Match” on his file, is the first to wake up.
His eyes are frantic, instead of a white sclera his iris is surrounded by
of letting him continue to panic you decide to step forward, “Hello” Making
sure to pitch your voice low, almost in a whisper, “You don’t need to be
afraid, you’re in the Watchtower, you’re safe”
you sit down in the chair beside his bed, making yourself smaller, less
threatening. Immediately he relaxes, “My name is Y/N. What’s your name?”
called me Match.”
do you want me to call you Match, or do you want to take another name?”
clone pauses, brow furrowing, “I-I’d like to keep Match”
I can call you Match” Extending one hand, you flash a bright smile, “It’s nice
to meet you, Match”
nice to meet you too. Can you – can you tell me why I feel … different?”
scratches the back of his head, “I feel more in control. I can think clearly
helped my husband and sons develop a serum that helped bind together the gaps
and breakages in your DNA sequence. It took a few days to develop, but the
serum is meant to help you gain control of the overactive aggression and
adrenalin that was constantly being secreted by your brain.” You gently place a
hand on Match’s, “It wasn’t your fault that you were always so out of control.
The blood they managed to get from Superman was full of excess adrenalin
because they got it when he was in the middle of a battle.”
I’m better now?”
should be in more control than you were. I’m sorry that we couldn’t ask you
first, but my husband didn’t want to risk you hurting anyone if we woke you
nods, “I understand” He finally seems to notice Conner lying prone in the bed decide
his, “Is that …?”
brother, yes. He’s only half Kryptonian. His DNA is a combination of Superman’s
and Lex Luthor’s. According to Camdus’ notes, he’s also younger than you”
my little brother? And he … isn’t as strong as me?”
he would be considered your younger brother, and no, he isn’t going to be as
strong as you”
face hardens, “I’ll protect him. Cadmus won’t get him again” He turns toward
you, already shifting slightly, ready to spring in between you and his new
brother, “You don’t have to worry, Match, I don’t want to hurt your brother any
more than you do”
flash a brief smile, “I’d like to invite my friend in here, his name is J’onn,
and my husband, Batman. They’ll be able to wake up your brother, and we can
have this same talk with him. I was hoping that you’d be able to help him feel
a little more comfortable.”
I’d like to meet him. Cadmus kept me in that pod, they only took me out to
‘test’ me against the other clones … I always won. I couldn’t ever talk to the
away from them now, and you’ll never have to go back to them, not if I can help
boy, who decides on the name Conner, is quieter than Match. He listens
intently, only asking questions every once and awhile, he mainly watches you
and allows Match to put an arm over his shoulder.
are you doing this?”
do you mean?”
lip curls slightly in a self-deprecating smirk, “I mean, why did you take us
from Cadmus? What do you want us to do in order for us to keep our freedom?
When are you going to put us back in our pods?”
not going to put you back in your pods, honestly my husband had to stop me from
throwing those things out the air lock! You boys don’t have to do anything unless you want to. We aren’t
going to force you into servitude just to keep your freedom, this isn’t some
kind of bartering game. And we took you from Cadmus because … well because
you’re children, and no child should be forced to grow up in some test tube!
They should be able to have fun, and choose their own paths in life!”
nods, not hearing a single lie in your statement, “I believe you, you don’t …
feel like the scientists did. You feel good, warm”
glad” You glance over at Conner, who is now leaning more into Match than he was
a few minutes ago, “Now I know that you’ve only been awake for a few hours, but
the sedative we gave you is still working its way out of your system. Why don’t
you two go to sleep, and when you wake up we can talk a little bit more.”
stands up slowly, and plops himself down on his bed. He curls up in a tight
little ball, snuggling under the blankets, you barely hear the soft “Okay”
before he’s completely asleep.
drags the bed closer so he can keep an eye on Conner, “Thank you for taking us
form Cadmus. I’ve only met him once, but I know that Lex Luthor will not let
Conner go very easily. He will try and take him back”
you reach out, running fingers through his short hair, just like you do with
all your other children, “You just leave Lex Luthor to me, Match, I’ll take
care of him”