You-will-get-pregnant-and-die

Don’t RP...

If you are a fan of RP, and would really like to start… DON’T. 

Why? 

Here’s a comprehensive list of things you should fully expect to happen, getting into RP:

1) You will become an exhibitionist… and no… not on purpose. 

Example: 

The many, many times I’ve forgotten to lock my door and had family members walk in on me half-naked in my room. 

That one time Kiki walked in on me in a goddam collar, took one look, and walked out without a word. 

2) You will be physically maimed… by yourself… and possibly others… constantly. 

Example: 

That one time I knocked the wind out of myself and nearly broke a rib… from jumping off of my bed and landing on my stomach… (but hey, I got the shot!)

That one time Oddoo full-on-bitch-slapped me in the face… “by accident”.

The many, many times I’ve given myself bruises and a kinked neck, flinging myself around my room.

That one time I nearly asphyxiated myself by lighting multiple scented candles in my room… for mood lighting… 

3) You will be judged. 

I think this one is pretty self-explanatory. 

4) You will run out of money. 

This is not a cheap hobby. *weeps* Not. Cheap. 

5) Your social life will evaporate. 

Example: 

“Hey, wanna go out tonight?”

“Uh… no, sorry. I have plans.”

“What plans? You literally never leave your room.”

“I have… plans… in my room……………….. with Voldemort….” 

6) You will get pregnant and die. 

I don’t think there’s much more to say except… if someone asks you to RP, if you feel peer pressured…. JUST SAY NO. 

Feel free to add your own RP horror stories below… together we can save a life.

Growing Up

Pairing: Stiles x Reader

Requested: Yes by @aesthetictrashxd

A/N: Smut warning, unprotected sex (pls don’t do this at home, you will get pregnant and die)

Originally posted by teenwolf--imagines


“Stiles,” Your boyfriend of two years had his back turned to you, his head buried in a book. He’s been so caught up in the Supernatural that you never got a chance to celebrate your two year anniversary last week; he said he’d make it up to you but so far, nothing.

Deciding to do something bold for once, you skipped to the bathroom and changed your outfit from a pair of boring leggings and a jumper to the lingerie you had hiding underneath, you grabbed the silk robe that you stuffed in your bag earlier and threw it over the black underwear. Fixing your makeup and puffing your hair up slightly, you smirked in the mirror at how beautiful you looked.

Keep reading

BIOS PARA TWITTER

parte 2.


RANDOM INGLÊS

  • lost in a world that doesn’t exist
  • i’m fine, don’t ask again
  • she was like the moon, part of her was always hidden away
  • idk what im doing, god, please, save my soul
  • i love when people say that life is beautiful, i laugh so loud, cause its not true

  • do not have sex, bc if you have sex you will get pregnant and will die 
  • i need money, not feelings
  • i love myself, in case i die
  • they say i act like i dont give a fuck, i tell them im not acting
  • i got 94 problems but I’m gonna take a nap and ignore them all 

  • the world is full of good people, if you can’t find one, be one
  • pls understand that you’re still young, and the universe is endless, and somehow, everything will be okay
  • there’s no freedom like the freedom that comes from accepting yourself.
  • when you can’t find love, make it
  • your life is a blank canvas, and you can choose any color you want

RANDOM PORTUGUÊS

  • músicas depressivas podem se encaixar perfeitamente enquanto você stalkeia esta conta
  • tudo se acumula e já não tenho mais voz para gritar
  • as coisas melhoram, o tempo resolve tudo
  • se tudo dependesse de sorte eu tava fodida
  • eu sei português, só não uso
  • as melhores coisas da vida são chocolate, pizza e (insira algo do seu gosto)
  • juro que já tentei sair daqui e ir fazer algo produtivo,,, mentira, daqui não saio daqui ninguém me tira 
  • tem pão velho aqui não
  • eu queria assim q deus tivesse piedade
  • to triste nao to feliz vou chorar ja chorei bastante ja
  • conta abastecida a meme 
  • eu que nem fumo queria um cigarette
  • nao pede sdv q nao quero responder na grosseria 
  • garota feia ganhando
  • vários assuntos pendentes, algumas magoas, lyrics.

FRIENDSHIP - COUPLE

  • você sempre será a melhor parte de mim @/
  • sem você é apenas um dia nublado @/
  • a bruxa da minha amiga @/
  • bandida, emo e minha amiga @/
  • there is no one like @/, she is one of my best, it’s like my sister, nobody knows me like her 
  • you’re my favorite part of me, with you standing next to me, i’ve got nothing to fear. @/
  • without you, without you laugh, without your eyes, im nothing @/
  • your voice is my favorite song @/

Para deixar o nome vazio ou em branco no Twitter é só copiar o que está  dentro dos parenteses:

  • ( ️️)
  • ( ㅤ)

Símbolos para nome ou bio:

  • ˗ˏˋ nome ˎˊ˗
  • nome☽ 
  • *∘✧ nome ✧∘* 
  • ✧*:・゚•̤ᴗ•̤*ૢ bio *:・゚•̤ᴗ•̤*ૢ✧
  • *°•..¸¸.*♡*.¸¸.*☆* bio  *°•..¸¸.*♡*.¸¸.*☆*
  • * ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ *  
  • /\_¸_/\
    (=•_•= )

웃 ღ ♥ ♡ ❤ ❥ ❦ ∴ △ ∞ ☆ ★ ✖ ® ™  ☏ ℡ ゚ ❝ ❞ ✥ ✦ ✧ ✩ ✫ ✬ ✭ ✮ ✯ ✰ ✱ ✲ ✳ ❃ ❁ ❀ ✿ ✾ ✽ ♆ ✼ ✻ ✺ ✹ ✸ ✷ ₪ ✶ ✵ ✴ ❄ ❅ ❆ ❇ ❈ ❉ ❊ ❋ ❖ ⁂ ⁑ � ▲ ▼ △ ▽ ◺ ⊿ ◤ ◥ ◣ ◢ • ● ♀ ♂ ⚢ ⚣ ⚤ ⚥ ⚧ ➹ ◎ ♦ ✗ ✘ ✚ ✪ ✣ ✤ ✥ ➸ ☑ ☒ ☓ ☠ ☡ ☢ ☣ ☤ ᛟ ᴥ ☥ ☦ ☧ ☨ ☩ ☪ ☫ ☬ ☭ ☮ ☯ ♦ ♠ ♥ ♣ ♢ ♤ ♡ ♧ ● ◯ ☚ ☛ ☜  ✆ ☎ ✄ † ✞ ✝ ✛ ✙ ރ ⌚ ▧ ▨ ▦ ▩ ۩ ஜ ಌ ஜ ๑۩۞۩๑ ஜ ஒ ண இ ஆ ௰ ௫& ૪ »♥«☜♥☞♥ ❥☊ ♪ ♫ ♩ ♫ ♭ ♪ ♯ ♬ ♮ ♫ ♩ ♫ ♭ ♪ ♯ ♬ ♮ ♬⇤ ⇥ ⇦ ⇧ ⇨ ⇩ ⇪ ⌦ ⌧ ⌫ ➫ ➬ ➩ ➪ ➭ ➮ ➯ ➱ ⇌ ⇍ ⇎ ⇏ ⇐ ⇑ ⇒ ⇓ ⇔ ⇕ ⇖ ⇗ ⇘ ⇙ ⇚ ⇛ ↺ ↻ ⇜ ⇝ ⇞ ⇟ ⇠ ⇡ ⇢ ⇣ ↩ ↪ ↫ ↬ ↭ ↮ ↯ ↰↱ ↲ ↳ ↴ ↵ ↶ ↷ ↸ ↹ ↼ ↽ ↾ ↿ ⇀ ⇁ ⇂ ⇃ ⇄ ⇅ ⇆ ⇇ ⇈ ⇉ ⇊ ← ↑ → ↓ ↔ ↕ ↖ ↗ ↘ ↙ ↚ ↛ ↜ ↝ ↞ ↟ ↠ ↡ ↢ ↣ ↤ ↥ ↦ ↧ ➟ ➡ ➢ ➣ ➤ ➥ ➦ ➧ ➨ ➚ ➘ ➙ ➛ ➜ ➝ ➞ ➸ ➲ ➳ ➳ ➴ ➵ ➶ ➷ ➸ ➹ ➺ ➻ ➼ ➽(◕‿◕✿) 。◕‿◕。 ⊱✿◕‿◕✿⊰ (◡‿◡✿) (◕〝◕) ◑▂◐ ◑0◐ ◑︿◐  ◑ω◐ ◑﹏◐ ◑△◐ ◑▽◐ ●▂● ●0● ●︿● ●ω● ●﹏● ●△● ●▽● ⊙▂⊙ ⊙0⊙ ⊙︿⊙  ⊙ω⊙ ⊙﹏⊙ ⊙△⊙ (°_°) (´❛-❛`) (´・_・`)(✿ฺ。✿ฺ) (。♡‿♡。) (-’๏_๏’-) (⌒_⌒;) (´✪‿✪`) (✪‿✪)ノ (✲✪‿✪) 𝓪 𝓫 𝓬 𝓭 𝒆 𝒇 𝓰 𝓱 𝓲 𝓳 𝓴 𝓵 𝓶 𝓷 𝓸 𝓹 𝓺 𝓻 𝓼 𝓽 𝓾 𝓿 𝔀 𝔁 𝔂 𝔃 𝓐 ℬ 𝓒 𝓓 𝓔 ℱ 𝓖 ℋ 𝓘 𝓙 𝓚 ℒ ℳ 𝓝 𝓞 𝓟 𝓠 ℛ 𝓢 𝓣 𝓤 𝓥 𝓦 𝓧 𝓨 𝓩ﭢ ツ ッ シ ⑆ 【ツ】 囧 ㅹ Ü ☺ ☹ ☻ ๏̯͡๏ ﭢ 〲 〴 ϡ ﭢ 〠 ⍡ ⍢ ⍣ ⍤ ⍥ ⍨ ⍩ ะ㋚ะ ๑㋡๑ ʚ㋞ɞ

Don’t Have Sex Because You Will Get Pregnant...And Die

Jock!Derek/Nerd! Stiles Secret Relationship AU:

Don’t Have Sex Because You Will Get Pregnant…And Die by jadore_hale (1/1 | 8,258 | Teen)

“I’m your best friend! Why wouldn’t you tell me that you’re planning on losing your virginity this Friday?”

Stiles choked. No, he actually choked. A Cheeto went down the wrong pipe, lodging itself in his throat, and he pounded on his chest, coughing and hacking to get it out. Because death by artificially powdered orange stick? No, sir. Not today.

“What the hell, Scott,” Stiles wheezed, inhaling and exhaling sharply. “Where in ‘watching Netflix and ordering pizza’ did you get that I’m losing my virginity?”

“How do you still not get Netflix and Chill?!” Scott slapped a palm over his face then thumped his head down onto the desk.

Read on AO3 

anonymous asked:

1D as Mean Girls quotes

omg

louis: I’m sorry that people are so jealous of me. But I can’t help it that I’m popular - Gretchen Wieners 

harry:  [driving away] I want my pink shirt back!!! I want my pink shirt back!!! - Damian 

niall:  Don’t have sex. Because you will get pregnant, and die. Don’t have sex in the missionary position, don’t have sex standing up, just… don’t do it. Promise? Alright, everybody grab some rubbers. - Coach Carr

liam:  Oh my God, Karen! You can’t just ask people why they’re white!  - Gretchen Wieners

Don't Have Sex, Because You Will Get Pregnant...And Die.

@kieren-fucking-walker - Hi, I’m sorry if this is too fluffy! BTW NO this is not mpreg/omega!verse! I just love mean girls!

by @jadorehale


Really, the best thing to ever happen to Beacon Hills High School was Stiles Stilinski. He was a star pupil. The very best in his class. Student of the Month year round. On the fast track to Harvard. And outshined all the other kids in his class with his pure awesomeness on a daily basis to the point where it was downright embarrassing. He didn’t want to jinx it but he was pretty much a shoo-in for valedictorian. Sorry, Lydia Martin! And he never caused any trouble at all. Not ever.

“DETENTION AGAIN, MR. STILINSKI!”

Did he mention he was every teacher’s darling?

Stiles stood at his locker after the last bell and frowned down at the all too familiar pink slip in his hand, questioning why the world was so unfair. Sure, most of these infractions were one-hundred percent his own doing, but in his defense, Harris had made two very implausible and inaccurate statements in the same class period, basically begging Stiles to make a mockery out of him in front of everyone. Stiles just hoped Harvard recognized what a scholarly and academically enriching extra-curricular activity detention could be.

“Seriously, another one?” A voice behind him said. A voice that Stiles had not been expecting seeing as he was the only one left in the hall. The voice also sounded highly amused when Stiles jumped and shrieked then whirled around in surprise.

“Jeez!” Stiles said, clutching his heart. “Can we make noises before we scare people to death? Heavy breathing! Tap dancing! Anything would be great!”

There wasn’t an ounce of guilt on Derek’s ridiculously handsome face and Stiles couldn’t even pretend to stay mad. He should be used to this by now. Derek liked to sneak up on him when he least expected it all the time. Which made sense seeing as he was Derek’s concubine. Sneaking around just happened to be a very essential part of their deep dark secret relationship.

The halls were empty but Stiles still checked to make sure they were safe. It was too risky if anyone saw them. Derek was the super popular basketball god and his social status would perish if he were to be associated with Stiles, the school’s biggest loser. Some would even liken it to the fall of Rome.

“Don’t you have practice?” Stiles asked, letting Derek press him up against the lockers anyway, his arms hanging loosely around Derek’s neck.

“I can skip it,” Derek murmured, nibbling on his ear.

“But it’s tryouts and you’re co-captain,” Stiles noted.

Derek lifted his head at that, pursing his lips. “You know, I’ve been meaning to quit basketball.”

Stiles leveled him a flat look. “You are not quitting basketball just so you can make out with me.”

“Why not?” Derek pouted, brushing the tips of their noses together. “I’ve decided that this is a much better use of my time.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

What specifically was so scandalous about eloping (if you actually got married and didn't pull a Wickham/Lydia and live in sin for a few weeks first)?

Elopement sidestepped many restrictive elements of a traditional betrothal–both legal and honourable. If either party was younger than twenty-one, they legally required the permission of their parent or guardian in order to marry. And, in the case of a match where the individual’s family disapproves, there may still be huge ramifications in openly acknowledging an engagement–Edward Ferrars is disinherited, and Frank Churchill and Willoughby both live under this threat of losing their inheritances if they don’t toe the line and make a match which is approved of by those who have the power to cut them out of the line of inheritance. (Though they react to this in very different ways.) Secret engagements seem to be of more benefit to the young man who fears being disinherited, whereas elopements are more a means of a husband getting his hands on his wife’s legal inheritance or dowry (any property or income a woman possessed reverting to her husband’s ownership upon the instant of her marriage. [See: Darcy, Georgiana.])

This is why the Bennets fear Wickham has no intention of actually marrying Lydia, as she has no fortune nor any great family connections which could help him to a fortune or a better career placement. Lydia, evidently, believes it is quite romantic, but as others have a better understanding of Wickham’s deceptive and mercenary nature, they can’t see a means of making Wickham marry Lydia unless there is some significant financial inducement for him to do so. (Like, Mr. Bennet could threaten to duel him, but…Wickham’s a young soldier with zero sense of honour. Who do we really think is going to come off well in that fight? Until Fitzwilliam Darcy steps in, the family cannot have much hope at all that Lydia is ever going to be retrieved, or that if she is, Wickham might ‘make an honest woman of her’. The risk is all on Lydia’s side, and Wickham could run off and do whatever he likes.)

All this fuss over elopements in England in Jane Austen’s time is largely due to legislation that came into being a generation before, with the Marriage Act of 1753. This was specifically to try and stop secret marriages from taking place, because the legal fallout was almost invariably hairy and messed-up and kidnapping young heiresses and forcing them to marry you (and yes this could include rape or as assholes liked to call it ‘forced seduction’) was a thing that happened more than once and often enough for it to be considered a risk. There were things like licenses and banns to be read and all, but these were more what you’d call ‘guidelines’ than actual rules, and all you needed was an Anglican priest to do the honours, and the marriage was legally binding.

Under the Act, Scotland was exempt, and so many border towns and villages became places for eloping couples to marry legally, in a match which could not then be considered void in England. With the toll-road passing through Gretna Green, this town in particular has become known for its elopements, and why the Bennets look for clues which may indicate that Lydia and Wickham have gone off to Scotland in general, or Gretna Green in particular. The Isle of Man was also an elopement destination for a time, but they brought in their own legislation, similar to England’s, but took it one step further: as any non-Manx priest caught performing dodgy marriages would have his ears cropped, be pilloried, imprisoned, fined, and deported.

Primarily, then, an elopement was just flying in the face of honest and honourable convention, and would taint the match with gossipy guesses as to why the couple had fled to avoid requiring parental consent or the reading of the banns. (Did the family disapprove, and why? Is one party much too young or already has a bad reputation? Is someone pregnant? Is someone a fortune-hunter? Is the match bigamous? Is it incest? These were some of the pitfalls a properly acknowledged engagement and the waiting-period of the reading of the banns were supposed to help avoid.)

And even if a couple did not “live in sin” for a number of weeks, unless they already lived very near to the Scottish borders, they would have to travel alone together–which unmarried couples did not do, at the risk of the lady’s reputation. The need to rest, eat, and change horses would require stops at coaching inns–and, unchaperoned, anything could happen. They could present themselves as man and wife to the innkeeper, and take a room together. Though they could, of course, ask for separate rooms, this might risk drawing questions and attention to themselves, which, if they were being pursued, would make witnesses more likely to recall them and point in the direction they had gone. (And, needing to travel in a carriage as no lady would ride so far on horseback, they would be moving more slowly than any man sent after them to catch them.) Closed carriages were often used for illicit hook-ups, in any case, so even if an eloping couple were caught three hours after they took to the road, before they’ve had a chance to stop for the night, the woman’s reputation would well be ruined, as it could be easily assumed they just started humping the moment they were alone in the carriage together.

So in an age of closely-guarded female virginity-as-virtue and the many legal ties of dowries and inheritances which went along with marriage, the Act of 1753 was an attempt by England to curb clandestine marriages within the country, which had been fucking up the plans of old white rich men for their children’s marriages for hundreds of years by that point…so it ultimately became harder for a couple to elope unless they had the means and gumption to make a clean getaway to Scotland, which was likely to be an extensive journey with plenty of time to get deflowered in the carriage or in a coaching-inn along the way…maybe in front of a crackling log-fire…with a bottle of the landlord’s finest brandy…in the company of that impulsive, passionate, and gorgeous creature whose love was too heady a temptation to resist even in the face of legal quagmire and dubious morality…

Don’t elope. ‘Cause you will get pregnant, and die! Don’t elope because you love someone, don’t elope because they say they love you…just don’t do it, promise? Okay, everybody take some French letters.

Dating Regina George would include

-She is surprisingly whipped over you

-She is a completely different person around you and treats you like a goddess

-If anyone needs to talk to her they make sure your around so she wont be as harsh

-She is always complimenting you

-And whenever she is feeling self conscience you assure her she’s gorgeous

-Supporting her at her lacrosse games

-Holding hands walking between classes

-She likes to make sure your outfits look good together

-And matching costumes at events like the talent show and halloween

-She makes sure to tell anyone flirting with you to get lost

-Same goes for anyone sitting beside you at lunch because that seat is reserved for her

-And if anyone is saying anything bad about you they can kiss their social life goodbye

-Even though you try to calm her

-Funny glances in health when he says that sex will make you get pregnant and die

-She spends most of her time with you trying to make you laugh

-Going to parties and making out in the janitors closet

-Making out in her room

-Feeling awful when she starts to get a taste of her own medicine

-Hoping it’ll make her realize the fault of her ways and be nicer to everyone else

-Spending time in the hospital with her after her accident

-You always bring out the best in her and for that she loves you unconditionally

Originally posted by kathrynmckinnons

les miserables songs: a summary
  • look down: prison is nothing like OITNB
  • valjean's soliloquy: all this for a loaf of bread?
  • at the end of the day: minimum wage sucks
  • i dreamed a dream: don't have sex because you will get pregnant and die
  • lovely ladies: this is what you get from four years of college
  • fantine's death: what did i tell you?
  • the confrontation: angry gays duel
  • castle on a cloud: my parents just don't understand me
  • master of house: charming criminals bamboozle everyone
  • stars: god complexes are a bitch
  • do you hear the people sing?: that's literally all you people have been doing for the past
  • in my life: lol boys are pretty
  • a heart full of love: i just met you but i love you
  • one day more!: how many days are left?
  • on my own: don't you dare fucking say eponine got friendzoned
  • a little fall of rain: the death tally increases (again)
  • drink with me: we're all gonna die, let's get shitfaced
  • bring him home: please protect this kid my daughter wants to bone
  • dogs eat dog: why the fuck are you in the sewers?
  • javert's suicide: sad gay is sad because prisoner gay messed with his god complex
  • turning: in case you forgot that people died
  • empty chairs at empty tables: PTSD the musical
  • the wedding chorale: literally the only happy moment in the entire show
  • epilogue: gross sobbing

anonymous asked:

i hope a beautiful trans woman gets you pregnant and you die in childbirth

Well this one is new! First of all:
1. Anyone fantasizing about me having sex that involves a penis in any way, or me being impregnated in such a way, is fantasizing about my rape.
2. Dying in childbirth is a horrid and unfortunately common way to die. I would never wish it on anyone. You wishing me a violently death to bear the product of a rape is neither clever nor funny.
3. If this is your idea of allyship, then I’d like you to know that this was actually a thing that happened to lesbians in Nazi germany. Those who were considered “aryan” enough were raped and made into Nazi breeding stock until they were killed.

I can’t imagine what lack of empathy leads someone to the point where they send messages like this.

  • McCoy: Don't have sex. Because you will get pregnant and die. Don't have sex in the missionary position. Don't have sex standing up. Just don't do it, promise? Okay, everybody take some rubbers.
  • Kirk: Bullshit, I am living proof that you're a hypocrite.
  • Spock: I must agree with the captain, as am I.
  • Scotty: I cannae believe I am even here.
  • Uhura: McCoy, stop quoting Mean Girls.
  • Sulu: Does this make me almost too gay to function?
  • Chekov: [High-fives Sulu]
  • Jaylah: What is 'rubbers', Leonard Bones?
The types as Mean Girls quotes
  • ISTP: "I have a nephew named Anfernee, and I know how mad he gets when I call him Anthony. Almost as mad as I get when I think about the fact that my sister named him Anfernee."
  • ESTP: "What kind of mother do you think I am? Why, do you want a little bit? Because if you're going to drink I'd rather you do it in the house."
  • INTP: "I can't go out. *cough cough* I'm sick."
  • ENTP: "God! I am so sorry Regina. Really, I don't know why I did this. I guess it's probably because I've got a big lesbian crush on you! Suck on that! AY-YI-YI-YI-YI-YI!"
  • INFP: "Why should Caesar just get to stomp around like a giant while the rest of us try not to get smashed under his big feet? Brutus is just as cute as Caesar, right? Brutus is just as smart as Caesar, people totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar, and when did it become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody because that's not what Rome is about! We should totally just STAB CAESAR!"
  • ENFP: "Glenn Coco? Four for you, Glenn Coco! You go, Glenn Coco."
  • ISFP: "Oh my God, Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white."
  • ESFP: "And I want my pink shirt back! I want my pink shirt back!"
  • ISFJ: "Can I get you guys anything? Some snacks? A condom? Let me know! Oh, God love ya."
  • ESFJ: "I know it may look like I was being like a bitch, but that's only because I was acting like a bitch."
  • ISTJ: "Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die! Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers."
  • ESTJ: "Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch happen! It's not going to happen!"
  • INTJ: "Half the people in this room are mad at me, and the other half only like me because they think I pushed somebody in front a bus, so that's not good."
  • ENTJ: "I've got parents calling me on the phone and asking 'did someone get shot?'. I oughta cancel your Spring Fling. Now, I'm not gonna do that because we've already paid the DJ, but don't think I'm not taking this book seriously."
  • INFJ: "It's like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it's going to rain."
  • ENFJ: "I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school. I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy..."