“Luke come and walk with me!” I whined, crossing my arms.
“Hmph?” He looked up, taking off his headphones. He’d been sat at his computer for hours, editing. He rubbed his eyes, and looked at the clock. “Shit! Y/N, it’s really late! I need to finish editing this video by tonight!”
“Come on, you can spare 5 minutes!”
He simply glared at me in response, putting his headphones on.
“Fine!” I huffed. I flopped back onto the bed, somewhat defeated.
I restlessly fidgeted for a moment, then sprang up again.
“Well… I guess I’ll go walk all ALONE” I said loudly. “Since my BOYFRIEND has no TIME for me. SUCH a SHAME!” I walked closer to him, right by his ear. “Maybe I’ll get SOMEONE ELSE to walk with me! Plenty of other BOYS would LOVE t-"
"Y/N, if you’re going to be so LOUD, then go and do it SOMEWHERE else!” He mimicked me, exasperatedly turning back to the screen.
Pouting, I turned back around. Time to try a different tactic.
“Lukey…” I stated kissing up his neck.
“Y/N…” He mocked absentmindedly, squirming.
“Please” kiss “come” kiss “on a” kiss “walk with meeee"
"Y/N I really need to get this done! I’ll walk with you tomorrow!"
"You said that yesterday!” I pouted. “Fine! I’ll go on my own, because my stupid boyfriend can’t give up 15 fucking minutes to-”
“SHUT UP For Christs sake, I’m trying to do something, and it doesn’t help when I have YOU being fucking ANNOYING in the background! So PLEASE go a walk, and GO AWAY!” He yelled, throwing off his headphones, glaring at me.
“FINE!” I pulled on my shoes, ignoring the tears leaking down my face. “Fine.” I walked out of the room slamming the door behind me. I heard him calling out behind me, but carried on walking, slamming the front door too. I walked a few meters, then sat down on the pavement, holding my head in my hands. I let myself cry for a couple of minutes, then wiped my eyes, managing to smear make up all over my face.
“Wow, that’s just great!” I said sarcastically to no one in particular.Then I felt a raindrop hit my leg. “Oh wow, could this get any worse?” It started pouring it down, drenching me in seconds. “Oh, there it is!” I laughed bitterly, a new wave of sobs hitting me.
“Are you OK?” Someone asked me. I kept my head down, before replying.
“Just peachy! It’s not like my boyfriend hates me, or I’m sitting outside getting soaked, or- oh wait! They’re both true!”
“Y/N…” I looked up.
“Oh. Hi Luke.” He was standing over me, holding an umbrella, still in his pajamas. I looked down at myself, and started laughing.
“What?” He asked, looking adorably puzzled.
“I’m still in my pajamas!” In my haste, I’d managed to leave in only sweat shorts a big t-shirt and vans. “Anyways,” I said wearily, looking up at him, “ What happened? Don’t you have a video to edit?”
He sighed, flopping to the ground next to me, letting the umbrella fall away. “Y/n, I’m sorry, it’s just… There’s so much work ,and the boys are counting on me, and the fans, and I just, I just really wanted to get it done… I’m sorry love, I shouldn’t have screamed at you like that..” He looked down.
“Luuke…” I reached over and took his hand. He took the opportunity to pull me into him. “I’m sorry baby. I know how hard you’re working, I just wanted to spend some time with you.” I whispered into his chest. He stroked my hair, and kissed the top of my head.
“Hey Y/N?” I looked up. “Is this the part where we make out in the rain like in the movies, then go have hot kinky sex all night? Coz I just finished editing the video…”
I know, it’s been ages, I’m terrible, I’m sorry! Hope you liked it! xx
I’ve reblogged several things and seen several things about “If you would just start instead of talking about it for X amount time, imagine all the progress you could have made” or “You said tomorrow yesterday, so start now.” I’ve been thinking about this a lot this past week because I’ve been excited about my weight loss/fitness progress and getting inspired to move forward to my ultimate goals. Because I’m doing well my thought process starts to be like “Just do it! I’m doing it! I never thought I could, and look!” I’ve thought this way about my mother, my father, my husband, my good friends… But then I remember a-year-ago-me and how frustrated, angry, or sad that kind of talk would make me.
You are not ready until you are ready. Sometimes there’s a single thing holding you back (in my case it was not dealing with my mental health). Sometimes there are family things or work things that make you feel like it’s impossible right now. And I think that’s okay. Working on yourself for yourself does not always have to look like weight management. Learn to love yourself where you are no matter what. So don’t “Just Start” - “Just Be” and find ways to love that whether that’s dealing with mental health, loving on your family, or starting a new hobby! The other stuff will fall into place.