You're welcome

Okay, I have a life hack for you.

Last week, I got attacked by the most painful and persistent hiccups of my life at work. My co-worker heard me hiccuping and said, absently, “Got the hiccups?” and I said miserably, “Yeah.” And she said, “Prove it.”

And I glared at her, because why the fuck should I prove anything to her? And I waited for the next hiccup, which would prove that she was a dick and that I was, indeed, suffering from hiccups. And… that hiccup never came. And she smirked and said, “My daughter calls me whenever she has hiccups and when I ask her to prove it, she never can.”

And that was weird. But later that night, I got hiccups AGAIN, so I said to my boyfriend, “I HAVE HICCUPS.” and he said “Yeah, you do.” And I said, “No, ask me to prove it.” And he gave me a look like I was a crazy person, and I hiccuped again and insisted he ask me to prove it and he did and BAM. I couldn’t do it!

And a few days LATER, I got the hiccups WHILE DRIVING ALONE, and I said, out loud, “DUDE, I have the hiccups.” And then, in another voice, “PROVE IT.” And bam. Couldn’t do it.

The moral of the story? Apparently hiccups are little shits who refuse to perform on command. 

There you go. Hiccup cure. I can’t promise it’ll work for everyone, but so far, it’s worked for me like six times.

You’re welcome.

The Last Jedi prediction

Luke: I believe what you were meaning to say is ‘thank you’.

Rey: Thank you?

Luke: You’re welcome!

Rey: What? no-no-no, I didn’t… why would I?

Luke: Okay okay *chuckles*

Luke: ♫  I see what’s happening here
You’re face-to-face with greatness and it’s strange
You don’t even know how you feel, it’s adorable
Well, it’s nice to see that Padawans never change
Trust in the force, let’s begin
Yes it’s really me, It’s Luke, breathe it in
I know it’s a lot: the hand, the sight! 
When you’re staring at a Jedi Knight! ♫ 

  • geoff ramsey, on Off Topic #90: "I was in the fucking army for five years and I had friends that were gay and trans and it sucked to watch them have to hide who they were for fucking the entire time we were in the army together. One of my best friends was a woman and it was terrible to watch her have to pretend to be someone she wasn't every fucking day just so she could serve the country."
  • me: geoff is a Trusted Friend and i will follow him to the end of the earth
if F•R•I•E•N•D•S were set in modern day
  • phoebe: angry vegan
  • rachel: trying to make it as an instagram model
  • monica: that one Top Chef contestant that might actually murder everyone if she lost
  • chandler: verified on twitter for nothing but sarcastic, self-deprecating humor
  • joey: has his own tumblr fandom, often reblogs gifs of himself
  • ross: still an asshole