You'll-be-Perfect-When-You're-Dead

Don’t talk about these people. Let them talk about you, let them say what they want to say and hope the truth will find a way to the surface. Just take the opportunity to improve yourself. God knows you’re not perfect. Practice counterintuitive actions: forgive the unforgiveable, love the poisonous, empathize with the unbelievably psychotic. You’re not exactly sane yourself, you know. Nobody is, and if you can accept that, you can grow. The universe comes predisposed for balance; if you want bad people to feel bad, it’s as easy as doing nothing. Like honesty, it’s hard at first, but in time, it’s as easy as just not lying.
—  Dan Harmon, You’ll Be Perfect When You’re Dead
Nothing you do matters as much as you think. Your greatest achievements aren’t yours at all, they’re accidents and jokes. You’re a puppet, the universe does the work, and it gets the most done when you’re moving the least. Surrender, flow, relax. Don’t be hard on yourself, don’t put pressure on yourself, life is just a chain of experiments and results, and you’ll be perfect when you’re dead.
—  Dan Harmon, 18 December 2006

That’s why I wrote to you, not to tell you to change anything about the way you do things, but just to tell you to take it easy. Nothing you do matters as much as you think. Your greatest achievements aren’t yours at all, they’re accidents and jokes. You’re a puppet, the universe does the work, and it gets the most done when you’re moving the least. Surrender, flow, relax. Don’t be hard on yourself, don’t put pressure on yourself, life is just a chain of experiments and results, and you’ll be perfect when you’re dead.

— 

Dan Harmon

It’s not being alone that’s depressing. It’s what being alone implies about the world, IF you fill the silence with hate. IF you don’t like yourself very much at all, and tend to assume others share your hatred.

I can be in a relationship with anyone. Whether I ever get mentally healthy or not, I can snap my fingers tomorrow and I can have a girlfriend. There’s no trick in having a girlfriend, if that’s all you want. If you don’t even know who you are and all you know is that you want to be loved, you’ll try to be anyone you can be in order to get loved, so that you don’t have to be alone. Because when you’re alone, you’re with someone you don’t know. You’re with a shifty-eyed douchebag, a con artist.

—  Dan Harmon, Best Day Ever (July 8, 2006)
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Dustin Marshall and Erin McGathy thank you so much for the opportunity to help with this book! I became a huge fan of Dan because of his online writings, so I can’t even begin to say how much of an honor it was to get to help with this. I was planning on getting the book signed at the show, but then I opened it up today and found this and I haven’t been able to stop grinning yet. I’m in complete awe and shock. Thank you so, so much Dan and Erin. I can’t wait to meet you all next week!

Look there, see that? It’s right there at the center. There’s a little baby expression! See how pretty? This expression contains something called ‘need’, and even though no two expressions of need are the same the need they express is universal and eternal, so much so that you normally can’t even see it unless it’s expressed inside of these little gems. Isn’t that pretty? Look at that need. Look how insanely incomplete and alone you are – it’s infinite. You were born in need, you will die in it. Some people think that not only does need connect all people and all life but that life itself is an expression of need on the part of a physical universe and that the physical universe is an expression of need on the part of the nothingness it is trying to fill and some people actually believe that’s what God is – the original, infinite, unknowable, unfillable need – a single thought that says “Something that is not must now be.” And these people that believe these things, they say that they can atone with that God by expressing your own need, by simply figuring out what it is you want, being honest with yourself and then expressing it in some way – in a conversation, a poem, a joke, a movie, a stained-glass window, etc. And everything you touch grows. And everything you imagine becomes. And you get laid, and you make money, and your life is easy. And you never have to defend yourself because everyone that means you harm bursts into flames because you’re doing God’s work and He doesn’t want you fucked with.

I’m the proud owner of 1 of 900 first-edition copies of the book Dan Harmon didn’t know he was writing, You’ll Be Perfect When You’re Dead.

Taken from the blogs of the Community creator, the book is staggeringly brilliant, shockingly candid, simply beautiful look into one of entertainment’s most original minds.

I had Dan and his girlfriend Erin (who compiled the blogs and edited the book) sign my copy when I met them on Monday at the taping of their “Harmontown” podcast in Hollywood.

Submitted by guitarmanjb.

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Dan Harmon–“You’ll Be Perfect When You’re Dead” (read by Duncan Trussell)