Yo-mama-so-fat

Remove punchlines from yo mama jokes

Yo mama so fat, she stepped on a Lego

Yo mama so dumb, she went to the super bowl

Yo mama so ugly, she looked in the mirror

How Godain finds out who Rin's dad actually is
  • Random kid: Yo mama so fat, the Sorting Hat put her in all four houses!
  • Suguro: shit, he's good. You got a comeback?
  • Rin: Relax, I got this.
  • Rin: *points at kid*
  • Rin: Dad.
  • Suguro, Shima, and Koneko: OOOOOOOH!
  • Godain: ... I don't get it
  • Shima: He just called the kid Satan
  • Godain: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH!!!
  • Godain: ...wait
Anti-Jokes

1. A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation.

2. Yo mama so fat she should be concerned because diabetes is a serious problem.

3. How do you confuse a blonde?
Paint yourself green and throw forks at her

4. Ask me if I am an orange.
“Are you an orange?” Nope, I’m a person.

5. A priest, a rabbi, and a Muslim cleric walk into a bar. The cleric having abstained from alcohol due to religious constrictions, does not drink, and his friends decide to do the same. They spend the night laughing and having a good time.

6. Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes?
He uses the finest ingredients.

7. What do you call a black man on the moon?
An astronaut.

8. What’s red and smells like blue paint?
Red paint.

9. A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware that he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

10. I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”

the signs as Yo Mama jokes

aries: yo mama so dumb she went to the dentist to get her Bluetooth fixed.

aquarius: yo mama so fat she can’t fit in this joke

cancer: yo mama so fat she’s on both sides of the family

capricorn: yo mama so stupid when she saw a drive thru sign in McDonalds, she dove straight thru the building

gemini: yo mama so ugly she made an onion cry

leo: yo mama so dumb she sprayed a tree with axe body spray and thought it would fall down

libra: yo momma so stupid she ordered her sushi well done

pisces: yo mama so fat when God said let there be light he had to ask her to move

sagittarius: yo mama so ugly when Santa came down the chimney he said ‘ho ho hoooollly shit!’

scorpio: yo mama so fat they took a picture of her last Christmas and it’s still printing

taurus: yo mama so ugly even Hello Kitty said goodbye

virgo: yo mama so stupid she bought tickets to see Xbox Live

————–

merry christmas!!

Ash: "Yo, Misty.“

Misty: "Yes?”

Ash: "Look, I just wanted to apologize for my behavior at dinner the other night. I was just kidding around, but I took it a little too far.“

Misty: "That’s okay.”

Ash: "I just had one question, though. I hope it’s not too personal or anything.“

Misty: "What is it?”

Ash: "Well—have you always been this stuck-up, or did it take, like, years of practice?“

Misty: "You’re calling ME stuck-up? YOU’RE the one that’s stuck-up!”

Ash: "ME?!“

Misty: "That’s right, walking around frontin’ like you’re all that!”

Ash: "Oh, ‘scuse—oh excuse me, Miss Madame, but YOU are the one frontin’ like you’re all that, when in actuality you’re about—“ (*holds two fingers very close together*) ”—that mucha that. You’re so stuck up that your fingers gotta make an appointment to scratch your damn head.“

Misty: ”… Your mama.“

Ash: "My mama? Oh, what about my mama?!”

Misty: "Yo mama’s so fat they showed her a picture of her feet and she couldn’t identify ‘em.“

Ash: "Okay, you know what? Yo mama’s so dumb, she went to the movies, it said 'Under 17 not admitted’, so she went home and got sixteen of her friends.”

Misty: "All right. I shouldn’t be talking about your mama. I feel sorry for your mama, having such an ugly child.“

Ash: "Say WHAT?!”

Misty: "You’re so ugly she tied a porkchop around your neck just so the growlithe would play with you!“

Ash: "Oh, well, you’re so ugly your mama had to feed you with a slingshot!”

Misty: "YOU’RE so ugly that ain’t a fade on your head, it’s your hair running away from your face!“

Ash: "Oh really? Well, you know what, you’re so ugly—look, no, this is a good one—you are SO UGLY that if you … damn, baby, you’re so fine …”

Misty: (*smirks*)