Imagine Kris giving himself a bubble beard while lounging in the bathtub. While trying to recall famous quotes from bearded folks, Kris is suddenly slapped with a memory from his childhood: the day at the petting zoo when a rancorous billy goat tried to eat his favorite shirt while he was feeding baby carrots to a pony. Kris’ hands ball into fists, squishing any bubbles left in his palms. “I’ll never forgive you,” he sneers at the memory, still looking like soapy Gandalf.
Imagine Kris covering some hit diva songstress tunes. His stage name for this activity is Mariah Krissy, which he insists his stylists call him while they’re giving his new sassy wig an absurd blowout (also insisted upon).
Imagine Kris turning off all of his electronics one evening to relax a little, removed from the perils of modernity. He can’t see anything because he unplugged all his lamps. He sits in regret until morning.