YOU SIMPLETON

But the truth is, it’s not the idea, it’s never the idea, it’s always what you do with it.
—  Neil Gaiman
creek fic

craig: i hate everyone because im too fucking tall. *smokes ten cigarettes at the same time*

tweek: *nervously sips coffee from a thermos* craig don’t smoke!!! you’ll die!

craig: i can’t hear you on the account that i’m too fucking tall. i’m going to assume you just asked if you want to make out

*they make out*

token: stop it right now you horny simpletons!!!!!!

Oblivious - Naegami Drabble
  • Byakuya:“I will, likely, regret saying this, but… I like you, Makoto.”
  • Makoto:“Oh! Well, I like you too, Byakuya!”
  • Byakuya:“You do?”
  • Makoto:“Yeah."
  • Makoto:*smiles*
  • Makoto:"I thought you hated me! It's good to know that we’re friends.”
  • Byakuya:“Oh my god you cannot be this oblivious.”
  • Byakuya:*facepalms*
  • Byakuya:“To put it in a way you’ll understand, I am coming onto you, Makoto.”
  • Makoto:“You’re what?”
  • Byakuya:“Do I have to spell everything out for you, you simpleton!”
  • Byakuya:*kisses Makoto* *straightens his suit*
  • Byakuya:“You're lucky that I’m interested in you, despite your stupidity.”
  • Makoto:*still comprehending*
  • Makoto:“Did you just kiss me?”
  • Byakuya:*sighs and puts his face in his hands*
  • Byakuya:“Makoto, I'm just going to say something. I am gay. I am super high school level gay. And, I am attracted to you, sexually, because of this fact.”
  • Makoto:*blinks*
  • Makoto:“Oh.”
  • Byakuya:“Yes, 'oh.'"
  • Byakuya:“Do you accept, or not?”
  • Makoto:“Accept?”
  • Byakuya:“Makoto Naegi, will you go out with me, you incompetent fool!”
  • Makoto:“Um… yes.”
  • Byakuya:“Finally.”
  • Byakuya:“That was incredibly stressful, and you're an idiot, and I'm going to kiss you, again.”

ok I know I’m 10 years late to the My Immortal party but

HOLY FUCK

I have to make a list now (and if you don’t know what My Immortal is get da hell out of here and go read it it is the goffik vampire queen of all fics)

  • “Hi.” I replied flirtily
  • the countless outfit descriptions
  • Draco Malfoy/Gerard Way sexiness debates
  • gothic red eyes
  • frenching passively
  • B’loody Mary Smith
  • masticating
  • MASTABATED
  • hargrid is a pedo 2 a lot of ppl in amerikan skoolz lik dat I wunted to adres the ishu
  • so much sliting of rists
  • STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS
  • geddit cuz hes so sexah
  • everyone was clapping by how sexy we looked 2gether
  • Hajimemashite gurl
  • “You ridiculus dondderhed!111″ Snoop yielded
  • I jumped sexily in2 da Pensive
  • Tom Bombodil!1111
  • Ebony and Trelawney calling each other bitch all the time (or maybe it’s Sinistra I really don’t know anymore)
  • Darko and Vampire started 2 beat him up sexily
  • Profesor Slutgorn!11
  • who is this person named Satan who is also really sexy and why are they smoking weed with Volxemort
  • koz bi guys r hot dey r so sensitive I luv dem
  • shmexay!1
  • “Thou hath nut killed Vampire yet!11″
  • “You dunderheads!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111”
  • now draco is doing it with snape what the fuck 
  • does everyone in this fic fuck everyone else 
  • the answer is yes
  • except hagrid cuz he’s a pedo
  • “Thou shall all dye soon.”

SRT Ale (Sly Fox)

Brewery : Sly Fox
Beer : SRT Ale
Style : American Pale Ale / Pale Ale / APA
Variance : None

8 / 10

For all of you simpletons out there, SRT stands for Schuylkill River Trail which is a trail that runs roughly from Auburn to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. I used to live in a nice little city that sat right along the trail named Reading and by nice I mean shit hole so I guess that kind of makes me an expert on the SRT. If you don’t know anything about Reading you already know too much and to give you a taste of what it’s like there, there were gun shots next door to my apartment and myself and three other tenants called the police and no one ever showed up. The one good thing that came out of living in the poverty capital of the USA was learning about and visiting Sly Fox multiple times and trying both their delicious beer and the best meatloaf I’ve ever had. I always am a fan of when a beer has a righteous cause behind it and this beer is no exception with a portion of all proceeds going towards the Schuylkill River Heritage Area and the fact that it taste great only makes it that much better. A mix of mild oniony and strong floral hops start this off with a nice bite and bitterness before a light sweetness mixes in with some golden malt flavors while all just mixing to end this. I’ve never actually been on the SRT during my time in Pennsylvania but that’s probably because I’ve seen what the actual Schuylkill River looks like and all you have to do is look at the color of this beer and add some sewage and there you have it. Anyways, Sly Fox did a great job with this brew and I can see this replacing all those commercial crap-cicles in your fridge and will sway a lot of non-believers onto the craft side of the world. As for you bastards, this is a solid pickup and probably a great session-able party brew so make sure you pick up a case and invite me when you open it.

Written by: Steve B.

@scathgaiscioch
continued from here

     He gazed with prominent disbelief as the other just plucked the weapon from her arm like it was nothing and tossed it aside. At her words, Anduin responded with a few of his own - the likes of which were far less impressive, he thought - “I… I-I don’t think you’re a simpleton, but… are you sure you’re just… okay?! I know how to heal if you… need it…”

anonymous asked:

now you reminded me of those Russell Crowe tweets again. i'm legit crying

“Simple facts: I am pretty, I’m not your boy, you
  simpleton.” 

“Send me your address so I can visit you and
  explain my passions.”