Much requested sequel to FANGIRL.

I wasn’t sure if I was going to write this, but you guys seemed to want it so much :) You guys will never know how much you inspire me sometimes… 

forever tag list: myfinnnelsonpls, teastaindiary, suzesuper, celestev31, @cant-getno-sleep, storey-time, milymargot, youmehellofarollercoasterride, kneekeyta, prideandpeaches, hewittgolightly, darlingdiver, fantasticab, arashian-emu, luvs-jade, @llexis, anglophileyoungblood, perfecters, jellytotsies, areyousad8118, finnraearchietix, luckyemcee, tinakegg, katywright340, busstop, thisissomefreshbullshit, lockitinthefuckingvault, scumothaearff, mmirallegross, anitavalija, raernundo, ducky17, rinncincin, sey77, faithbyrne00, @khristicallahan, mmfdiaryfan, bitchy-broken, ililypop, arashian-emu, katywright340, courtkismet, sarahlouise88ni, nutinanutshell, mellamoaiko, rumorsincolor

Enjoy and let me know comments! 

Fangirl Returns

I can’t believe I couldn’t see it before. It were staring me right in the face. I realised it when we were sitting in the McDonalds together. He’d paid of course; Finn always being the gentleman. I’d realised at that point (while chewing glumly on my big mac with large fries) that I needed to keep Finn in my life for as long as possible. I knew he were going places, I just needed to wait. He would be my ticket out of here and into Damon’s arms. Damon’s delicious arms. His biceps are just the right size to take a bite out of….

“You writing in that thing again?” Finn said as he passed Rae a drink from across the booth’s table.

Rae blushed as she snapped notepad shut. She’d managed to calm down her obsession over the fittest member of Blur and she certainly didn’t want the gang finding out that his smouldering eyes in the latest ‘Smash Hits’ magazine made her stomach squelch and her fanny flood.

“Oh y’know; Diary.” She lied as she quickly slipped it into her bag before turning to take a long chug of her snakebite and black.

Finn pushed his body along the booth seat so that they sat parallel to each other; despite the fact that the rest of it was vacant. Chop and Izzy were joining them later and Chloe and Archie were competing for one boy’s attention at another corner of the pub. Rae bit her lip as Finn’s finger connected with her leg.

A L O N E and then he drew a smiley face.

“Not for long.” Rae smirked as she nodded her head in the direction of Chloe and Archie who were heading to join them.

Finn let out a low groan and Rae giggled.

“Don’t be mean, they’re our friends and Arch is your best bud; the only person you would lay your life down for; the only boy you’d top and tail with; the only person you trust.”

“That ain’t true.” Finn said, his eyes lingering on Rae’s.

“I’m telling you Arch’, I’m his type.” Chloe insisted as she sat down next to Rae, flashing a smile and a roll of the eyes in their direction.

“No love. It was in the way he looked at me, I’m definitely the team he bats for.” Archie replied.


Yet again Finn’s finger had connected with Rae’s legging covered leg and she couldn’t stop the little smile that came onto her face. She didn’t dare look at Finn for the fear of bursting out laughing, but instead kept her eyes fixed on Chloe’s.

“So,” Finn spoke up and changing the subject, “guess who’s been asked to go backstage at V fest this year.”

Rae’s eyes snapped to Finn. Blur were at V festival that year; of course she’d known that. She’d spent weeks begging her mum for the money to go but had been unsuccessful in her endeavours.

“Fucking lucky!” Archie grinned, “I heard tickets sold out within hours of release.”

“I heard minutes.” Finn replied before looking hesitantly at Rae, “I also have a spare ticket…”

“Fuck off.” Rae screeched, her pitch a little too high for someone who claimed to be ‘so over’ Blur. “I mean, oh right.”

Archie and Chloe swapped chuckles. Rae had no idea that the whole gang knew about her still-evident love for Damon Albarn. They’d seen her salivating over any picture she could sneakily find and they’d also seen her scribbling in that notepad which had “Mrs Rae Albarn” in swirly letters covering the outside of it. They also knew her desperation to get to V to see him; Chloe had been in Rae’s bedroom when they’d announced the festival line up on the radio and Rae had promptly run downstairs to beg her Mother for money while leaving Chloe upstairs for three hours. Rae hadn’t even noticed when Chloe had left in the end.

“Yeah,” Finn said before turning to Archie, “You wanna come mate? You’re my best bud; the only person I would lay your life down for; the only boy I’d top and tail with; the only person I trust.” He winked at Archie.

“You can fuck right off if you think Archie is getting that spare ticket.” Rae burst out and Finn looked back to her with an amused smile on his lips.

“Why not, he’s me best bud?”

“I thought we were music soul-mates.” Rae replied, clutching her heart in mock pain.

“Well, Archie knows his music.” Finn raised an eyebrow in Archie’s direction.

“I am telling you Finley Nelson; if you give that ticket to Archie, I will never speak to you again. In fact, I will wait until you are asleep one night and I will sneak in and castrate you without a general anaesthetic.” Rae grabbed Finn’s shirt in a firm grip, “I will get my second chance with Damon even if it means creating a costume out of your skin and pretending to be you.”

Finn chuckled, “Alright…. Alright, you can come!” Rae released him and he sent a fake, apologetic smile to Archie, “sorry mate. Need to protect little Finny.”

“I can’t believe this is happening.” Rae squealed. “I get to meet Damon… again!”

“Aw babe, isn’t it nice of Finn?” Chloe asked, trying in a vain attempt to get Rae to appreciate her ticket holder.

“Yeah, yeah. Come on Chlo – we need to go shopping to get me a foxy outfit.” Rae said as she shoved her way out of the booth, pushing Chloe along with her and leading the way out of the pub.

Archie looked at Finn who was downing the rest of his beer with one long swig.

“You ever gonna tell Rae that you like her?” Archie asked his best friend.

Finn shook his head, “don’t know what you’re talking about. Do you want a drink?” He asked before heading to the bar without a drink order for Archie.

- Sunday 17th August 1997 –

Today is the day where I will get to see Damon again. I just know how it’s going to go. Our eyes will connect from across the crowd and he will invite me onto the stage where he’ll declare his everlasting love to the entire festival and we’ll live happily ever after. Then, we’ll go to his trailer where he will ravish me.

 “So where is the W festival?” Izzy asked as she flipped the pages in Rae’s worn out Smash Hits magazine.

“It’s the V festival Izz.” Rae moaned as she entered the room in her outfit.

Chloe followed her, having spent the past hour framing Rae’s eyes with black eyeliner and painting her lips with the reddest lipstick she could find. Rae’s long black hair fell straight down her back and swished to and fro as she walked into the room.

“You look fuckin’ gorgeous Rae. Finn’s going to go crazy when he sees you.” Izzy said.

“He’d better do so! I had to get up at half five to perfect this look. I need to look perfect for Damon when I see him this time.” Rae said as she walked over to look at herself in the mirror.

She winced a little as she saw her reflection. She still struggled to see any beauty in herself, despite endless therapy sessions and numerous hours standing in front of mirrors and saying ‘it’s fucking embarrassing how good I look some days’. However, as she looked even she had to admit to herself that she looked nice.

Izzy yawned and checked her watch, “I can’t believe its 7AM. What time is he coming to get you?”

“In fifteen minutes.” Rae replied as she plonked herself down on her bed.

“Rae” came a voice from the corridor.

Her bedroom door was flung open and a red faced Linda appeared in her doorway. Rae threw an angry look in her mum’s direction

“What?” Rae replied curtly.

“Finn’s here.” The door was shut as abruptly and as loudly as it had been opened.

“He’s early!” Rae moaned as she began to hurry around her room, grabbing her bag and her disposable camera that had been purchased for the very occasion of seeing Damon again.

She stopped to look at herself in the mirror and once again frowned at the reflection. Suddenly a hand wrapped around her waist and Chloe pulled her into a tight hug.

“You look beautiful babe.” She whispered in Rae’s ear and Rae pulled away from her with a nod of the head.

“Thank you.” She whispered, smiling bravely at Chloe before turning to leave the room.

Finn was waiting in the car, oasis blaring as quietly as he could from the speakers. It was only early and he didn’t really fancy having Rae’s mum shouting at him to ‘turn that racket down’. He nodded his head slightly as the front door opened, Chloe walked out. She was wearing her usual attire; short skirt, crop top and puffa-jacket, chestnut brown hair swinging over her shoulder. Chloe sent a little smile in Finn’s direction and walked over to her own car, Izzy hot on her trail with a yawn. Rae was last to leave and Finn couldn’t quite see her. She had her back turned to him as she shut the door but as she turned to face him, he could help the sharp intake of breath that left his body.

She looked amazing. A smile came onto his lips as she walked towards him, her broody dark eyes almost burning into his soul. He shook his head slightly before looking away, trying his hardest to achieve a cool composure as she joined him in the car.

“Alright?” She asked.

“Alright girl!” He replied with enthusiasm, “lookin’ forward to today?”

“Oh y’know,” she shrugged, “it’s no big deal.”

Rae had fallen asleep no sooner than ten minutes after they’d left. Soft snores left her mouth as the sleepless night took its toll on her, leaving Finn chuckling beside her. They were nearing the festival grounds when a song came over the speakers. Finn grinned wider and immediately yanked the knob on the radio round so high that the music blared.

Rae awoke with a start as Spaceman filled her eardrums. She sent a grumpy, scolding scowl in Finn’s direction who laughed cheekily at her face.

“What?” He claimed as he feigned innocence with wide eyes and a bashful grin, “I thought this was your favourite song!”

Rae was about to argue back when she saw the most beautiful thing she’d thought she’d ever seen.

It was a sign.

The sign read ‘V Festival 1997’ and she felt the butterflies fill her stomach. Any minute she would be in the same venue as Damon Albarn; yes, she’d be surrounded by thousands of other fans but they stood no chance against her. She was meant to be with Damon. The very glint of his eyes made her clit quiver.

“We’re here!” She gasped as Finn pulled up inside the parking zone for staff. A quick flash of his radio staff card let them past the guard that was placed in front of the barrier and then they were there.

Finn led the way, but only just. Rae’s long legs matched his quick strides and she bounced beside him, excitement rising in her stomach.

“I was reading that Damon’s grandfather was a conscientious objector during World War II and that’s why he’s so anti-war. Great innit?”

“Yeah.” Finn answered with a monotone response.

“Did you know that he also failed his 11+ exams? Crazy! One of the most famous and best lookin’ men out there and he can’t even pass a silly exam…”

“Mmm.” Finn replied and rolled his eyes.

Rae grew quiet as she finally noticed Finn’s gruff replies and his stiff body language. He started to walk quicker and Rae started to get out of breath as she struggled to keep up with him.

“Finn!” She huffed as she came to a stop.

Finn spun around and Rae bent over as a means to catch her breath. She looked up at him with a hard glare.

“What’s up with you?” She asked between breaths.

“Nothing.” He replied curtly but his face softened a little. “Tell you what, you wait here and I’ll go and get the backstage passes. Alright girl?”

Rae straightened up, “alright.” She replied with a small smile.

Finn’s face brightened up and he strode towards her and grabbed her into a tight hug. Rae’s arms stayed at her side as she felt Finn’s lean body press up against hers. When he finally released her she stumbled a little, her balance shifting.

“Magic.” He grinned, “Don’t you move alright? Don’t want you getting lost now!”

“Alright!” Rae laughed and Finn winked at her before jogging off towards a group of people.

                As Rae stood on her own, she noticed that she was amongst a crowd of typically cool grunge kids. Spliffs hung from their mouths and band t-shirts emblazoned their chests. Rae immediately copied their laid back body language, desperate to fit into a society that she felt like she belonged in. These were her people; she could’ve spent hours talking to them about the differences between Blur and Oasis before getting high with them as they all became best buds.

She slipped her oval shaped sunglasses on over her eyes and shook her hair a little so it fell around her. Leaning against the burger van that Finn had placed her beside, she pushed her chest out to draw attention to her Stone Roses T-Shirt. She felt confident and empowered; a strange sensation that she hadn’t felt in a long time.

Her attention was quickly diverted though as a mop of hair passed her.

Damon!’ Her insides screamed at her and she began to follow him through the crowd.

It was her one chance to impress him; the minute that they saw each other, the crowd would melt away and it would just be the two of them. He would rush towards her, pulling her into his arms and whispering all the things she desired him to say. How he wished that he could take her right there and then. How he’d ask her if it was ok for him to go down on her for so long that he’d have to develop gills.

He was within reaching distance, having met a few friends and Rae didn’t hesitate as she pushed out her hand and tapped him on the shoulder. He spun round and Rae’s hopes died as she realised that it wasn’t him; it was just someone copying his hair style. She blushed before rushing away further into the crowd. As she looked around she began to realise the number of boys with Damon styled hair and her heart began to race.

Her eyes darted around the field as she slowly began to realise that she was lost. Finn had warned her not to go away from the spot he’d left her in. She couldn’t even see the burger van that she’d propped herself up against. Instead all she could see was thousands of heads and a fierce looking mosh pit metres away from her.

Panic began to rise in her and her fists clenched into balls at her sides.

1-2-4-6-2. She couldn’t keep count. She couldn’t keep herself calm, she was lost and didn’t have a clue where to go or what to do.

Her eyes continued to dart to and fro and she shook her head as the crowds started to close in on her. Her breaths drew shorter and quicker as she struggled for air.

                Finn hummed to the music that pumped out of the speakers from the nearby stage. His smile was bright and anticipation great as he quickly made his way to where he’d left Rae. He expected to find her with a smile on her face as she waited to meet Damon again.

It killed him a little whenever she went on about him. He knew that it would never go anywhere with Damon; he was just a built up fantasy in Rae’s head and would never live up to it in reality. In Rae’s head, he was perfect but Finn knew that he took a dump just like everybody else did.

As his eyes fell on the spot where he’d left Rae, he realised that she was nowhere to be seen. He frantically searched the groups of grungers that scattered near the burger van, begging to find her puffing on some weed but she wasn’t there.

It didn’t take two seconds for Finn to begin pushing his way through the crowds to find her. Every worst thought came to his mind as he thought about where she could be and his stomach lurched as he worried about never finding her again.

He stopped still and started to scan the crowd for signs of her long black hair, dark brown eyes and perfect red lipstick.

“Come on Rae.” He whispered quietly, desperate to find her.


Someone bashed into her and Rae was sent flying. She fell to the floor and opened up her eyes to find mud decorating her jeans and parts of her t-shirt. She got slowly to her feet and begun to fight back the tears.

The day was turning into a disaster instead of the best day of her life. The only place she wanted to be was to be at home, tucked up in her nice warm bed. All she wanted to do was pretend that the day had never started.

Her eyes clouded over with tears and she could no longer see anyone or anything. She tried to blink them away but instead of clearing them, more filled her eyes and fell down her cheeks. She could feel the sobs beginning to rise up in her chest and no matter how much she tried to push it back again she couldn’t stop them.

One almighty loud sob left her lips and soon more tears were falling. Her hands fell to her eyes as she tried to wipe them away but it was no use; they were falling fast and heavy.

Suddenly, she was embraced in a hug and she breathed in the familiar scent of CK One and cigarettes.


“You-found-me” She managed to choke out.

“Of course.” He replied and she looked up to find him smiling down at her. “Gave me a heart attack y’did! I told ya not to move.”

“I thought I saw Damon…” She grumbled.

Finn chuckled and rolled his eyes, “c’mon girl.”

He held out his hand for her to take and she gladly gripped it. He led the way through the crowds, their bodies pushing through other bodies. Rae’s eyes dried up quickly and she was able to take in the boy that had taken control.

Gone was the awkward boy she’d known for over a year now. In his place was a confident, self-assured man. She’d never noticed Finn in that light before and her head spun a little from the realisation. She’d always known that he’d been attractive but she’d never really got why all the girls seemed to fall at his feet. As she looked at him, she started to realise that he had nice broad shoulders and his hand was amazing to hold.

                Finn was a sweetheart for the next couple of hours. He could see that Rae was still a little unsettled from getting lost and spent the time getting her drinks and making her laugh. Soon she was back to the same old Rae and her smile radiated more happiness than it had ever done before.

“Right,” Finn said as he finished his beer, “I’d better get going.”

Rae’s eyes opened wide as she began to panic but Finn laughed it off. He took her hand and pulled her up from the chair that he’d perched her on all those hours before. The VIP area was a lot less crowded than standing in amongst everyone else and Finn knew it was where they needed to be. Although a part of him ached to be listening to the bands up on the main stage, sitting with Rae had been a lot more rewarding.

“You can come too.” He insisted, looking at her through his fringe with a secret smile. “I’ve just got to do an interview with Ash.”

Rae screwed up her face to show her love-hate relationship with the band and Finn screwed his face back. He didn’t let go of her hand as he led her towards the area where he would be interviewing. Rae found that holding Finn’s hand was becoming comfortable and almost second nature. The second that he let go, it was as if she’d lost a part of her. She crossed her arms to try and brush away the feeling of longing that had made its way into her heart.

“You stand here. I’ll just be over there-,” he pointed towards some chairs a few meters away, “…and then after we’ll try and find Blur. Ok?”

“Yeah, sounds cool.” Rae pretended to be calm and collected.

The very idea of meeting Blur and Damon again made her want to scream louder than any of the other girls in the field behind her. The idea of being within stroking distance of Damon was far too tempting and she would’ve walked off to find him if it hadn’t had been for the distressing state she’d found herself before.

No; for now she was happy being with Finn. Her eyes fell on him. He was perched on the armchair while the members of Ash were piled on top of a shabby couch that was placed in the middle of the marked off area. She began to notice that Finn seemed at ease, laughing and joking with the band before kicking the interview off. She could recall him once saying that he liked to make those he interviewed feel at ease before he started the ball rolling, it made them more open to more interesting questions.

“He’s good isn’t he?” came a voice from behind her and she slowly turned her head to face the voice.

“Yeah, he’s brilliant-,” her face paled as she realised who was standing just behind her and talking to her.

Damon. Fucking. Albarn.

“Damon!” She whispered.

He laughed. “More than you said last time!”

“You remember me?” She squealed quietly, beginning to slowly hyperventilate.

“Of course… at the place where that kid works yeah? You just sorta grunted at me.”

Rae blushed a deep shade of scarlet but shook her head ferociously before she had another panic attack.

“Can I have a picture?” She asked, “You’re my favourite person in the whole entire world.”

Damon nodded, although looking a little pained at yet another teenage girl. She threw him her cheesiest grin and began to rummage in her bag for her disposable camera. Her handbag felt like the deepest, biggest thing she’d ever put her hand in and by the time she’d managed to locate the camera, Damon looked a little bored.

“Right ok.” She smiled wide at him again.

She positioned herself next to him and held the camera out in front of them. She wrapped herself around his body and waited for his arm to wrap around her waist. It never did. Instead, both of his arms stayed limp beside him as she took the picture.

“And another one for luck!” She said, winding up the camera and positioning it again to take another picture.

“Right, that’s it now.” Damon said as he pushed himself out of Rae’s reach.

Smiling politely at her, he made his excuses and walked over to talk to some other guys that were hanging out at the far end of the VIP area. Rae’s heart was beating faster than it had ever done before. She had hugged Damon. She’d got a photograph with him. She’d told him that he was the most amazing person in the world. She could feel the connection between them and she knew that there was something there. He hadn’t wanted to hug her back in case it looked weird for the media. Yes, that was it.

                Finn came back from his interview alive and full of adrenaline. He quickly grabbed Rae into a hug before letting her go sheepishly.

“I feel so amazing!” He exclaimed with a bright smile on his face, “so fuckin’ alive!”

“Finn…” Rae whispered.

Finn looked at her with a puzzled look on his face, eyebrows cocked slightly but smile still evident.

“I met fucking Damon Albarn.”

“Oh right.” Finn said, his smile fading and face falling.

“It was so amazing Finn. He smelt just like BO and ciggies. It were amazing.”

“Sounds it.” Finn replied with a heavy sarcasm.

“It was!” Rae insisted as she tried to catch Finn’s eyes.

Finn couldn’t look at her; he was pissed off. Not only had he missed out on two hours of once in a lifetime live performances, but when he’d actually tried to share a moment that had meant everything to him, she’d shot him down.

He stalked off quickly, Rae hot on his trail as he walked towards the free bar at the far end of the VIP area.

“Finn!” Rae called after him, “Finn! What have I done?”

He ignored her.

“Not my fault if your interview went crap.” Rae yelled at him.

Finn stopped dead in his footsteps. His chest heaved heavily in anger and he turned around quickly so that they were facing. He began to pace towards her, his eyes narrowing as he did so and Rae’s arms wrapped around herself.

“My interview did not go crap. The reason why I’m fuckin’ pissed off wit’ya is because I ‘ave this AMAZIN’ experience and you just don’t give a shit. I tried to talk to ya and you just starting chattin’ shit about being with fuckin’ Damon, who by the way, don’t give a shit about you.”

Rae’s eyes began to fill with tears as Finn’s angry words entered her heart.

“What the fuck do you know?” She argued back, just as angry. “You were gonna give the ticket to fuckin’ Archie.”

Finn rolled his eyes, “You’re a dickhead. D’ya really think I’d give them to him? When you mean so much to me… when I l-,“ he stopped mid-sentence.

Rae stared at him wide-eyed.

“You what?” Her heart was beating in her ears.

“When I like, think you’re dead sound.” He replied, wishing that he could find the courage to tell her the truth about how he felt.

The silence echoed in around them. If it wasn’t for the loud screams and heavy guitars that came from the stage, then Rae would’ve sworn that they were alone.

Finn was the first to break the silence.

“C’mon.” He said as he put his hand out to Rae. “Let’s go to the stage. Blur have just come on.” 

Extra Ordinary

This was inspired by a prompt @ch1darkcy reblogged: two extras have to sit across from each other and pretend to converse at a restaurant on the set of a movie. but the fake conversation turns to real conversation and they are really into each other and the director calls cut because they are distracting from the actual characters who are supposed to be the ones making eyes and looking like they’re falling in love, not a couple of random extras

I’d seen it before, and had started to write it, and this has sort of … I don’t know, morphed over time. It doesn’t exactly meet the brief of the prompt, and kind of feels a lot like overly philosophical conversation porn that no one asked for. It kept growing; I thought it was done probably half a dozen times, and then I’d get another idea. I trimmed some of them out, but I’m hoping that what’s left makes some sort of sense, after working on it on and off for a couple of months. It does some of the things I wanted it to do; it isn’t perfect, but what is?

I think I’ve been moving commas around and switching out words with this one because it’s extra-close to me. Or, rather, close to me as a university student. And when you share these things that you’ve thought and believed, even if you’ve changed them a degree or two, or you’ve wised up and moved on, it’s like baring your soul. Even more than usual.

But, I’m finally letting this one fly the coop. I have other stories I want to work on, and as long as this file is hanging out, tempting me, teasing me, I won’t be able to fully focus.

Some ladies who’ve asked to be tagged:

@ch1darkcy @hohumi @sassy-curmudgeon @slothpaws @adaftmyriad @greenangelheart @old-lady-at-heart @teastaindiary @lametwentysomething @fantasticab @allimidori @robichaux-prefect @llexis @thisissomefreshbullshit @boysweatandckone @someday-youwillfindme @kneekeyta @justagirlnamedkayla @14000romances @darlingdiver @mirandasmadeofstone @how-ardently @icshly @gushington-central @i-love-mmfd @carpe-libris @raernundo @broughttoyoubythelettera @i-dream-of-emus @mallyallyandra @anglophileyoungblood @fuckintentshop @aggressively-lamps @chrryblsms @nipasir @areyousad8118 @ducky17 @milymargot @sharoonroney @sarahlouise88ni @celestev31 @scumothaearff @bitcheslovebeck @magicalgrandma @kerrv0rting-and-sn0rting @ililypop @gemmarstyles @ilovefinnnelson @sammylbc @anca82 @idontcareifyoudontbelieveme @murderyoursoul @losingpudge @heartnotbrain @jackiewalsh2013 @dairingoriginal @sunflowerdope @omgbananasnailus @katywright340 @bitchy-broken @pigeonfarmrace @rinncincin @mellamoaiko @finnleysraemundo @kristicallahan @musicfreak1 @alyssaloca @girlwithafoxhat @karinskyme @irish-girl-84 @tinakegg @luvs-jade @2muchtosee2littletime @voodoomarie @annemarieted @happyfrasers @wandering-soul-7  @sicklittlejag  @zero-for-starters @thatfunnygirllauren @stinemarine @huffee-hugsandcoffee @milllott @emu4ever @becauseyouarestrong @blobwithagob  @lovinglifeandlivinglove @crystalgiddings1993 @chelsealorine @cosiquellocheora 

Folks on my tag list who I can’t tag:

@fangirlwithoutshame @shadan-stone-roses @perfecters @abullofshit @arashian-emu @courtkismet @jessicacandesign @inneedofamoralcompass @protectfinnnelson @nenita1978 @look-how-they-shine-love

I say it every time, but I MEAN it. If you’re over it … just send me a message and I’ll take you off the list. (And if you want to know when I post new fics, give me a shout and I’ll add you.)

Without FURTHER ado … 

* * * * *

Rae picked nervously at the sleeve of her dress. It was floral, and apparently matched the ‘ambience of the scene’—whatever the fuck that meant.

When Archie asked her to be in his student film, Rae’s first instinct was to protest vehemently. She figured that not only did she not need to be immortalized on film, she really didn’t WANT to be. The camera added a stone to skinny girls; who knew what it would do to her. It was only when Archie whined that he didn’t want to have to ask people he didn’t know to be in it that she melted a little. She understood not wanting to inconvenience anyone, and it was kind of nice to be such good friends that you were the first person they thought of inconveniencing.

She’d gotten there early to help ‘dress the set’, which mainly consisted of dragging some tables and chairs out in front of the café where Archie worked. Now she was just waiting around for the principals to come out from hair and makeup (generously provided by Izzy and Chloe) and start the scene. Archie was pacing nervously by the cafe door, a copy of the eight-page script folded accordion-style gripped in his hand.

There was a slight breeze, and the sun filtered through the early leaves that had just started to fill out the tree branches. This wasn’t so bad, sitting here in the dappled sunlight, pretending to sip a glass of water and look at a menu. She closed her eyes and tipped her head back for a moment, taking a deep breath of air scented by the flowering trees that dotted the street.

She heard someone slump themselves into the chair nearest hers, on the other side of the table. She opened her eyes, expecting to see Archie. But this wasn’t Archie.

Keep reading

Meeting You - Part 17

Part 15 ~ Part 16

Sorry it’s taking me so long to get these up… I finally got some free time to finish this part.

Sorry if this part is crap…

kneekeyta bitchy-broken curvygirlonabudget nemo-miracle-grow areyousad8118 im-a-seriesholic fantasticab murderyoursoul tinakegg sey77 luckyemcee thatgirlkerr obsessive-fangrill kissthe-sun jellytotsies jackiewalsh2013 myfinnnelsonpls katywright340 audisodd busstop perfecters celestev31 validatedstandby arashian-emu (Let me know if you want to be tagged or untagged)

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Keep your heart strong - Part 2

A/N: This is part 2 of this fic.
Since some of you asked for it, I decided to give it a chance and write it down.
I thought I needed more time to plot it, but it didn’t take so long. In truth it came out really naturally.
I lost this two or three times because my computer is having some kind of troubles, and had to rewrite it all. Hated it, but I have t admit it was worth it :)
As always, I anticipate you may find errors or maybe terms that don’t really fit. In that case, just tell me, you know I’m always looking for writing advices.
I just hope you enjoy!

Rae and Finn haven’t been together but she’s been with Liam for a while. Their relationship is really unhealthy for her, and she finally realized it. Finn has never met Olivia and he has never planned of moving to Leeds. There are lots of unexpressed feelings between them, but as you will figure out reading, they need their time.

As you asked me guys, I’m tagging you:
  thisissomefreshbullshit, kneekeyta, arashian-emu, tinakegg, idontcareifyoudontbelieveme.

She knew that it was cold, but when he hugged her back everything was better and she lost herself in that warm embrace.
It wasn’t the first time, for them. She remembered some brief, awkward hugs from that summer, but this one was completely different. It was like them both meant to be there in that moment, comfortable in each other’s arms even if hidden in a corner of the park on the cold grass.
Rae didn’t say a word. She felt like everything she thought to say would be stupid in that moment and would break that magic moment.
She just enjoyed the small thrills that Finn’s lips on her forehead gave her.

Her hair were soft like silk and smelt of something sweet, like cherries.
Finn had always loved them and thought a lot of times how would it be just to flick them gently on her shoulder, so he didn’t lose that opportunity. He kept to caress them and to trace small curls on her back.
He wished just to stay there, lost in Rae’s arms, like that was the only right place for him.
After a while he felt her moving as to interrupt their hug.
«You okay?» asked him, almost whispering.
Rae nodded «Yeah, it’s…perfect»
You are perfect he thought, you are perfect to me.

What if they just stayed there forever?
Rae had no reason to leave that park, or Finn, or to let that moment go.
Everything in her life was messed up as never before, except fort that moment in the late afternoon in a foggy November evening.
So why would she ever go back home or go anywhere?
But obviously it started drizzling.
Damn British stupid weather.
«Rae» murmured Finn in that low, sexy and husky voice that always made Rae weak in her knees «I think we’d better go»
Drops of water kept falling, and Rae knew they couldn’t stay any longer if they didn’t want to get a flu.
«I don’t want to go» she whispered.
«Neither do I»
«But we have to, right? »
«I don’t want you to get sick» answered Finn, moving her hair again behind her ear.
Rae sat up and suddenly felt cold again.
Too cheesy, too cheesy Rae.
Finn got up and leaned her his arm to help her getting up too.
Rae just ignored him and got up by herself.
«I’m too…» she tried to explain, but Finn interrupted her.
«You’re right, Rae. You’re just right»
She took his hand.

Rain kept falling harder while they walked outside of the park.
Finn’s jacket was already soggy around his neck and on his back when they arrived on the main road.
«Can I walk you home? » he asked, walking a bit faster to get some repair under a balcony.
Rae didn’t answer. She just stopped next to him and kept quiet.
Finn observed her: she was biting her bottom lip and seemed nervous, and when she realized he was looking at her, she buried her face into the scarf.
«Rae? »
«I’m not sure I want to go home» Rae replied «Being in my room would make me claustrophobic»
Finn shrugged «So, what’s the problem? We can go to my place»
«Are ya trying to seduce me, Finlay? » asked Rae, tilting her head slightly.
Finn could feel blood running to his cheeks.
Maybe because you really wanted to seduce her.
«I don’t…I mean, I didn’t want to…» he tried to say, but words continued to came out of his mouth without any logical sense.
She smiled «I was just jokin’, Finn. No need to be that nervous»
Finn smiled too «Let’s go, then»
He leaned his hand to her again.
Rae didn’t hesitate this time.

His place didn’t change much since the last time she had been there.
It was quiet and clean and just giving a little look around, anyone could understand that there were no women living there.
«Is your dad home? » she asked, taking off her completely wet leather jacket in the lobby.
«He’s out this weekend » Finn replied «A congress or something like that»
So we’re alone. Just me and him.
There was a time in which Rae dreamed about an occasion like that. Just them together, no parents around and a place where to make out.
But that was before she realized she cared about him, and that he cared about her.
It wasn’t just a physical thing. She felt like they were close more than just physically.
And what he said when they were in the park that night…Liam never said something like that to her.
No one ever said something like that to her.
«I’m turning the heath on,» said Finn, distracting her from her thoughts « if you want to use the hair drier, it’s in the bathroom upstairs»
Rae nodded. He heir were a total mess, she really needed to dry them.
«You need to dry your hair too» she said, starting to walk upstairs.
Finn messed up his fringe «I’ll be up in a minute»
Okay, that was sexy.
Very sexy.

Rae had left the bathroom door opened.
Finn observed her reflection in the mirror from the corridor.
She was beautiful. Not that kind of beauty you see on the magazines or on the billboards, but a shiny kind beauty.
Her bright eyes, that little smirk, her soft skin and her silky hair made Rae beautiful like a goddess.
A kind of beauty that made his heart accelerate just thinking about it.
He finally decided to walk in.
Rae turned around «Almost done» she said, moving the hair drier from one side to another.
«Take your time, I’ll wait here» Finn replied, sitting on the stool next to the door.
He could stay there observing Rae for the rest of the night and never get tired.
There was something in her that calmed him, that made him forget his insecurities but at the same time she made him nervous. And he never felt this way before.
Sure you’re not in love, Finlay?
He didn’t know if he was in love, because he never had been before.
But if love felt like a flock of bats flying in the stomach, well, he was terribly close.

Rae turned off the hair drier a couple of minutes later, her hair back silky and shiny.
She handed him the drier, but when he was close to take it, Rae retracted her arm.
«I can dry your hair, if you want» she said in a rush.
Finn smiled and nodded.
He was already happy to have her there for that night, but just thinking of her running her finger trough his hair made him feel thrills running down his spine.
Rae turned the drier on again and passed her hand through his fringe.
Finn barely kept a moan.

She would have kept caressing his hair for the rest of the night.
Rae could feel him relaxed under her touch. Sometimes he tilted his head to the left or to the right, as to invite her to caress him more in a particular spot. Like a cat wanting more cuddles.
She never thought that hair drying could be that…intense.
But after all she was with Finn, and everything, every emotion, every move, felt more intense when she was with him, like amplified.
She turned the direr off «Think we’ve finished here».
Finn looked at his reflection in the mirror and adjusted his fringe «Good job, Rae» he said, looking up at her «I’ve some reggae for you as payoff»
Rae rolled her eyes «I don’t really know why I still talk to ya about music, since ya always insist to listen to crap songs»
«Okay, okay. I have an enviable collection, I’ll let ya choose the music»
She smiled slyly «Think I’ve already chosen»

Finn’s room was still the same too. Rae had been there just a few times before, but she was a good observer and had a quite good memory.
Not much books around, but piles of records and mixtapes anywhere.
Some of his clothes were abandoned on the armchair.
Rae loved that room. It felt familiar to her, even if she didn’t spend there much time before.
«So, what do I put on, ma’am? » asked Finn, already next to the record player.
«You’ll have a surprise» Rae answered.
«Do I need to close my eyes? »
Rae shrugged wile Finn stood still in the middle of the room. He closed his eyes in the end.
Rae knew that the Oasis records were never too far from the player.
Hello started to play in a few seconds.
Rae turned around and saw Finn smiling, his eyes still closed «Not surprising at all»
«I wanted to back to basics tonight» she replied.
Going back and restart.
And that night seemed perfect to restart and make things go in a different way.

They could seat anyway in the room, but they both chosen the bed.
By the time Roll with it started to play, they were lying on the bed, lost in the rhythm of that song.
«They killed it in Knewbort with this song» he said «still wonder why you weren’t there»
Rae turned on her side «It’s a long story, Finn»
«Will you ever tell me?» he asked.
Finn knew it would take time for Rae to open up to him. He could read it into her eyes, but he would never give up. He wanted to know everything about her, even if it was something negative.
She would always be beautiful to him.
«You know I’d be here for you anyway, right?» he added, turning on his side too.
Rae smiled in that sad way that always made Finn feel a little punch in his chest «How can you be so perfect?» she asked.
Finn frowned «Me? Perfect? I’m nothing but perfect, Rae»
«Well, then I think you’re jus’ perfect when you’re with me» she replied.
He smiled  «Told ya you’re good wi’ words»
Rae came closer to him, like she did in the park.
«Promise you won’t run away whatever it is?» she murmured.
Rae looked into his eyes.
«I’m mental» she whispered.
Tears started to stream down her cheeks again.
The first keys of Wonderwall started to play.
Finn hugged her.

When Rae went out of the hospital, she promised herself she would never tell anybody anything about her illness.
People already ran away from her, thinking that she was fat and weird. Telling someone something like that would just make things worse.
So she kept quiet for hours, days and months, keeping this secret from anyone.
But Finn didn’t run away.
He held her, tight.
He didn’t ask a question.
He just let her say everything: about how she attempted suicide, about the hospital, about her loneliness, about Liam.
Rae felt like she couldn’t hide anything from him.
When she finished, she realized that she wasn’t crying anymore and that the record wasn’t playing anymore, and all she could hear was the empty sound of the record still turning on the player.
«Are you better now?» asked Finn, maybe after a few minutes, maybe after hours of silence.
«I think I am. Well, I don’t really know, I haven’t got really better since…ya know, since I left the hospital»
«I’ll be here, whenever ya want» said Finn, squeezing her hand.
Rae smiled. How could he be that perfect?
How could he stand there, after all she said?

How can you ease the pain of a person who suffered that much?
How can you just help someone that went through all that Rae had been?
Finn would never imagine she was so strong.
Strong enough to keep all those secrets, strong enough to smile, strong enough to leave Liam.
He promised himself he would never leave her alone. To be with her trough that rough moment she was still living.
He wanted to be strong enough to help her.
«You don’t have to do this, Finn» she said «And I’m sorry»
«For wha’?» he asked.
«For telling you all this in this way. For crying. For making you feel sorry for me…»
She was talking nonsense.
Finn wiped her tears again with his thumbs and cupped her face.
Then he kissed her, and asked himself why he didn’t do that before.

He is kissing me.
I told him that I’m mental, and he’s still here, kissing me.
Sweet Lord, I love his lips.
Rae had imagined Finn kissing her a million of times, but imagination couldn’t compete with reality.
Reality was so much better.
It was better because his lips were softer and warmer, and that kiss was sweet. Sweeter than she could have ever imagined. Sweet even if her lips were salty, because of all the tears.
It was brief. No tongues dancing or fighting.
But it was the best kiss Rae had ever experienced.
«You didn’t kiss me because you feel sorry for me, right?» she asked.
Finn shook his head «You’re terrible, Rae. How could you think that after all I told ya tonight?»
She smiled «Maybe you have to shut me up again, then»
So he did.

Selective Amnesia, or Five Times Finn Said I Love You and One Time Rae Heard Him

Hello, my lovelies! It’s been forever since I posted a fic, it seems. It also seems like I’ve been working on this fic forever. The idea came to me quite soon after the Voldemort of Series (we don’t mention it, bc it doesn’t exist). I agonized over it for months, and then wrote the last couple parts pretty quick (maybe too quick, who knows.) But it finally feels like it’s finished, so I’m posting it quick before I agonize some more.

The formatting gave me hell, too. I tried pasting from three different places, but it kept being a giant chunk of text with no separation. I think I managed to put in all the correct paragraph breaks, but if anything seems weird, let me know. 

Okay, so. One thing that drove me crazy about the Rae/Finn relationship in The Series That Shall Not Be Named was the utterly preposterous assertion that it took Finn a year and a half to say the words “I love you” -_- Just … no. So, this is me doing my first 5 Times/1 Time fic to try and figure out that puzzle. It may be the only fic I ever write that this explicitly alludes to … y’know … The Unfortunateness That Is S3.

There is a sprinkling of smut in here, fair warning. I don’t think it’s anything too salacious, but fair warning. 

Now, without further ado … here’s this thing.

Tagging: @ch1darkcy @hohumi @sassy-curmudgeon @slothpaws @adaftmyriad @greenangelheart @old-lady-at-heart @teastaindiary @lametwentysomething @fantasticab @allimidori @robichaux-prefect @llexis @thisissomefreshbullshit @boysweatandckone @someday-youwillfindme @kneekeyta @justagirlnamedkayla @14000romances @darlingdiver @mirandasmadeofstone @how-ardently @icshly @gushington-central @i-love-mmfd @carpe-libris @raernundo @broughttoyoubythelettera @i-dream-of-emus @mallyallyandra @anglophileyoungblood @fuckintentshop @aggressively-lamps @chrryblsms @nipasir @areyousad8118 @ducky17 @milymargot @sharoonroney @sarahlouise88ni @celestev31 @scumothaearff @bitcheslovebeck @magicalgrandma @kerrv0rting-and-sn0rting @ililypop @ilovefinnnelson @sammylbc @anca82 @idontcareifyoudontbelieveme @murderyoursoul @losingpudge @heartnotbrain @jackiewalsh2013 @dairingoriginal @sunflowerdope @omgbananasnailus @katywright340 @bitchy-broken @pigeonfarmrace @rinncincin @mellamoaiko @finnleysraemundo @kristicallahan @musicfreak1 @alyssaloca @girlwithafoxhat @karinskyme @irish-girl-84 @tinakegg @luvs-jade @2muchtosee2littletime @voodoomarie  @annemarieted @happyfrasers @wandering-soul-7  @sicklittlejag  @zero-for-starters @thatfunnygirllauren @stinemarine @huffee-hugsandcoffee @milllott @emu4ever @becauseyouarestrong @blobwithagob  @lovinglifeandlivinglove @crystalgiddings1993  @chelsealorine @cosiquellocheora @look-how-they-shine-love @rhi3915 @lau-vm  

Folks on my tag list who I can’t properly tag: @protectfinnnelson @fangirlwithoutshame @shadan-stone-roses @perfecters @abullofshit @arashian-emu @courtkismet @inneedofamoralcompass @gemmarstyles @nenita1978 @you-are-world-class-i-mean-that​

Let me know if you want to opt-out (or opt-in); I don’t want to bug anyone with these posts. :)

* * * * *

He’s no good with words.

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You Could Be Happy - 1/10

Sequel for Bonfire Heart which can be found here

Tagged: myfinnnelsonpls, teastaindiaryaudisoddsuzesuper, celestev31cant-getno-sleep, storey-time, milymargot, youmehellofarollercoasterride, kneekeyta, prideandpeaches, hewittgolightly, sweetgrenade, darlingdiver, fantasticab, arashian-emu, luvs-jade, llexis, anglophileyoungblood, @sarahlouise88ni, perfecters, jellytotsies 

Thanks to my amazing beta sevendeadlyfun for just being generally awesome - love you! 

Part One

Doors slammed throughout the house, and shouts and pleas could be heard from two houses down the street. The air was thick with misery and heartbreak. He didn’t know why she was crying, or why this was happening, but he cried all the same. It all ended when she opened the front door and left.

Everything seemed fine. They’d been enjoying a nice, comfortable evening in together when suddenly she’d snapped. Started rushing through the house, grabbing at her things saying that she couldn’t do it anymore. He’d pleaded with her to tell him what was up, what he’d said to make her think this. But, instead, she’d ignored his desperate questions and stormed out of the house.

“Rae” Finn shouted. He flung the front door, which had just been slammed in his face, wide open.

 She had made her way half way down the drive now, past his car and he watched helplessly as she chucked her bits in the backseat of her car.  Before he could stop her, she briskly made her way to the driver’s seat, shutting the door and locking it. Quickly rushing after in an attempt to stop her, his arms came down heavy on the bonnet as hot tears continued to pour down his cheeks.

“Rae!” He pleaded again. The engine began to vibrate against his palms as she turned the key in the ignition. Their eyes locked for a second. His breath caught in his throat as he whispered one word. He knew she couldn’t hear him, but from the softening expression on her face, he could tell that she understood him.


Her face fell for a moment, and he felt triumph rip through his body as it did so. The feeling of victory cut short as her face hardened again. She pulled out of the drive, sliding right out from under him and leaving him staring after her as she drove away.


The ball hit the back of the net, signalling the fifth goal to be scored that half. Finn scowled as his arms lifted above his head, clipboard teetering loosely between two fingers.

“Come on Connor!” He shouted at a boy who was standing near the goal, looking a little bit lost. “You’re supposed to be DEFENDING” Connor’s eyes drifted to meet Finn’s. Finn regretted it as soon as he saw the boy jog off, pretending to get back into the game. It’d been two months since Rae stormed out of his life and his temper was precarious at best. Certainly not cool enough to deal with the bullshit of a bunch of teenaged wankers

“Finn, calm down a bit mate.” He felt the hand of his assistant coach on his shoulder, trying to soothe him. “It’s alright – they’re only kids.”

Finn’s arm came down by his side, and he sent a sarcastic grimace in the direction of the assistant coach, before drawing his eyes to the clipboard which detailed the plan for the match. The game, however, was not following the plan at all. His eyes lifted up again as he saw the football hurtling past Connor and straight into the goal.

“Fucks sake!” Finn shouted loudly as the final whistle blew, bringing the game to an end with a score of 15-2. The match gone to a school from the other side of the town, one with a really shitty reputation at that. He spun around, anger rushing through his veins and he began to shake with the fury.

He brought the clipboard in his hand down heavy on the chair behind him. Bits of plastic flung back towards him as he continued to batter it down on the chair, and he could feel a wet sensation on his cheek as he did so. Two strong arms wrapped around his waist, pulling him away from the chair and causing him to drop the destroyed clipboard to the floor.

“That’s it” said the assistant coach in his ear as he dragged Finn away, unprotesting. “You’re going to see Giles.”


Giles Harrison was the head-teacher of St Marys Catholic School for Boys. He was a bit of a prick, and an even shittier head-teacher. He was known to stand up at the front of assembly and pick his teeth with a cocktail stick as he stared the students down. Finn ended up hating assemblies; it always reminded him of times with Rae, even at his new school. He always remembered back to when he would seek her out at the beginning of the assembly, standing next to her and trying to make her laugh at the most inappropriate moments. Finn shook his head, trying to spare himself from the pain of those very distant memories.

“Mr Nelson – can I call you Finn?” Giles didn’t wait for a response, but stood up from his desk and looked down at Finn. His fingers curled around a cocktail stick and he brought it up to his teeth, making Finn wanting to vomit a little as he heard the scraping of the stick as it came into contact with Giles’ teeth. “Finn, I think you need to take some time out. We can’t be having the scandal of a teacher smashing stuff up going into the news.”

“I don’t think that’s necessary sir.” Finn responded, rolling his eyes a little as he leaned further back into his chair. He had never really rolled his eyes until he’d started seeing Rae, and the memories of her sarcastic rolls brought fresh pangs of longing back into his stomach.

“No – it’s not a request.” Giles said, bringing his fists down onto his desk and leaning over it, positioning himself so that he was on level with Finn, staring at him cruelly. “I am issuing you with a two week suspension. When you get back – you’d better be on your best behaviour otherwise I’ll make sure that you don’t get a job around here again.” Finn swallowed hard, his brooding eyes cold as he nodded in agreement with his boss.


After leaving the school grounds, he knew that there was one person who would understand - one person who would be there for him no matter what. He was at the lowest that he’d been in a while. Finn could hear the footsteps approaching the door and, after a moment’s pause, the door was open wide to welcome Finn in.

“Finn?” Archie said. His eyes fell to the bag in Finn’s left hand, before darting to the sorrowful expression written into Finn’s face. Archie groaned inwardly, turning and indicating with one arm that Finn was permitted to enter.

 “Can’t stay at home.” Finn mumbled as he walked past his best friend, duffle bag brushing against his leg. “Too many memories, y’know?”

“Yeah” Archie replied with a reassuring smile. “Well, you know you’re always welcome here. My place is your place.”

Finn set himself down into an armchair, and tapped his fingers against the arm rests unconsciously.

“Cheers Arch. You’re a true-en” He smiled, before it faded from his face and his lips formed themselves into a little frown, taking in everything that had happened over the last couple of months. 

MMFD/While You Were Sleeping crossover fic part 1

A/N: Hello I’m back with another fic; this is going to be a three part one. I’m hoping to get part two out by Christmas and the third part out by New Years or just a little after depending on time. So I’ve been thinking of doing a mmfd/film crossover for months and I do have a few others in mind ( depending on how well this works) that I want to do, see end notes for the list so far. So as you can see by the title of this fic I’ve chosen while you were sleeping as my first crossover. You may notice that I didn’t come up with an actually name because one naming a fic is hard and two I’m just lazy plus I couldn’t think of anything haha. I chose it because it’s a bit Christmassy and it’s the right time of year for it. So this is set in 1995 Rae works for the Underground in London as a ticket inspector or ticket office worker thanks to @ililypop and @bitchy-broken for helping me find the equivalent to Lucy’s CTA job from the film. I chose this time to set it in for one its when the film came out, two it will fit the slight deviation I made at the end with the ending of the film and three when I was googling something I found out the underground ticket offices are being closed to try and save money, so if I has set it in modern-day Rae would be losing her job. So hope you like this, feedback is always appreciated.

Word count 3657.

 Tagging some lovely emus that have asked to be tagged. Please let me know if you want on or off (you won’t hurt my feelings) my forever tag list or if you want me to tag you for one particular story

@anitavalija @arashian-emu @audisodd @areyousad8118 @annemarieted @blue–green @celestev31 @ducky17 @inneedofamoralcompass @i-dream-of-emus @ililypop @llexis @lilaviolet @kristicallahan @kneekeyta @mydiaryofemus @milllott @milymargot @rafaellabnery @stephsadickhead @voodoomarie @you-are-world-class-i-mean-that @isthistherightwayround @parisgirly93 @facephase @crystalgiddings1993 @mmfdfanfic     

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Sakurai Sho appreciation post

Well, as we all know the idea of “The Digitalian” came from Red. That’s one.

The tracks with Sakurap which we have missed so badly.

The cameos of his voice on other member’s solo or solos.

That feeling of certainty when you listen to the album, every track(group) has a touch of Sakurai Sho.

Take Off.

And the most appreciated of all, for calling us not just “ARASHIANS” but “Fellow”.
Giving off such realization that he consider himself as “ARASHIAN” and treating us equal.

Thank you, Sakurai Sho!!! おつかれ!
Of course, to his four brothers too~