Much requested sequel to FANGIRL.
I wasn’t sure if I was going to write this, but you guys seemed to want it so much :) You guys will never know how much you inspire me sometimes…
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Enjoy and let me know comments!
I can’t believe I couldn’t see it before. It were staring me right in the face. I realised it when we were sitting in the McDonalds together. He’d paid of course; Finn always being the gentleman. I’d realised at that point (while chewing glumly on my big mac with large fries) that I needed to keep Finn in my life for as long as possible. I knew he were going places, I just needed to wait. He would be my ticket out of here and into Damon’s arms. Damon’s delicious arms. His biceps are just the right size to take a bite out of….
“You writing in that thing again?” Finn said as he passed Rae a drink from across the booth’s table.
Rae blushed as she snapped notepad shut. She’d managed to calm down her obsession over the fittest member of Blur and she certainly didn’t want the gang finding out that his smouldering eyes in the latest ‘Smash Hits’ magazine made her stomach squelch and her fanny flood.
“Oh y’know; Diary.” She lied as she quickly slipped it into her bag before turning to take a long chug of her snakebite and black.
Finn pushed his body along the booth seat so that they sat parallel to each other; despite the fact that the rest of it was vacant. Chop and Izzy were joining them later and Chloe and Archie were competing for one boy’s attention at another corner of the pub. Rae bit her lip as Finn’s finger connected with her leg.
A L O N E and then he drew a smiley face.
“Not for long.” Rae smirked as she nodded her head in the direction of Chloe and Archie who were heading to join them.
Finn let out a low groan and Rae giggled.
“Don’t be mean, they’re our friends and Arch is your best bud; the only person you would lay your life down for; the only boy you’d top and tail with; the only person you trust.”
“That ain’t true.” Finn said, his eyes lingering on Rae’s.
“I’m telling you Arch’, I’m his type.” Chloe insisted as she sat down next to Rae, flashing a smile and a roll of the eyes in their direction.
“No love. It was in the way he looked at me, I’m definitely the team he bats for.” Archie replied.
Y A W N
Yet again Finn’s finger had connected with Rae’s legging covered leg and she couldn’t stop the little smile that came onto her face. She didn’t dare look at Finn for the fear of bursting out laughing, but instead kept her eyes fixed on Chloe’s.
“So,” Finn spoke up and changing the subject, “guess who’s been asked to go backstage at V fest this year.”
Rae’s eyes snapped to Finn. Blur were at V festival that year; of course she’d known that. She’d spent weeks begging her mum for the money to go but had been unsuccessful in her endeavours.
“Fucking lucky!” Archie grinned, “I heard tickets sold out within hours of release.”
“I heard minutes.” Finn replied before looking hesitantly at Rae, “I also have a spare ticket…”
“Fuck off.” Rae screeched, her pitch a little too high for someone who claimed to be ‘so over’ Blur. “I mean, oh right.”
Archie and Chloe swapped chuckles. Rae had no idea that the whole gang knew about her still-evident love for Damon Albarn. They’d seen her salivating over any picture she could sneakily find and they’d also seen her scribbling in that notepad which had “Mrs Rae Albarn” in swirly letters covering the outside of it. They also knew her desperation to get to V to see him; Chloe had been in Rae’s bedroom when they’d announced the festival line up on the radio and Rae had promptly run downstairs to beg her Mother for money while leaving Chloe upstairs for three hours. Rae hadn’t even noticed when Chloe had left in the end.
“Yeah,” Finn said before turning to Archie, “You wanna come mate? You’re my best bud; the only person I would lay your life down for; the only boy I’d top and tail with; the only person I trust.” He winked at Archie.
“You can fuck right off if you think Archie is getting that spare ticket.” Rae burst out and Finn looked back to her with an amused smile on his lips.
“Why not, he’s me best bud?”
“I thought we were music soul-mates.” Rae replied, clutching her heart in mock pain.
“Well, Archie knows his music.” Finn raised an eyebrow in Archie’s direction.
“I am telling you Finley Nelson; if you give that ticket to Archie, I will never speak to you again. In fact, I will wait until you are asleep one night and I will sneak in and castrate you without a general anaesthetic.” Rae grabbed Finn’s shirt in a firm grip, “I will get my second chance with Damon even if it means creating a costume out of your skin and pretending to be you.”
Finn chuckled, “Alright…. Alright, you can come!” Rae released him and he sent a fake, apologetic smile to Archie, “sorry mate. Need to protect little Finny.”
“I can’t believe this is happening.” Rae squealed. “I get to meet Damon… again!”
“Aw babe, isn’t it nice of Finn?” Chloe asked, trying in a vain attempt to get Rae to appreciate her ticket holder.
“Yeah, yeah. Come on Chlo – we need to go shopping to get me a foxy outfit.” Rae said as she shoved her way out of the booth, pushing Chloe along with her and leading the way out of the pub.
Archie looked at Finn who was downing the rest of his beer with one long swig.
“You ever gonna tell Rae that you like her?” Archie asked his best friend.
Finn shook his head, “don’t know what you’re talking about. Do you want a drink?” He asked before heading to the bar without a drink order for Archie.
- Sunday 17th August 1997 –
Today is the day where I will get to see Damon again. I just know how it’s going to go. Our eyes will connect from across the crowd and he will invite me onto the stage where he’ll declare his everlasting love to the entire festival and we’ll live happily ever after. Then, we’ll go to his trailer where he will ravish me.
“So where is the W festival?” Izzy asked as she flipped the pages in Rae’s worn out Smash Hits magazine.
“It’s the V festival Izz.” Rae moaned as she entered the room in her outfit.
Chloe followed her, having spent the past hour framing Rae’s eyes with black eyeliner and painting her lips with the reddest lipstick she could find. Rae’s long black hair fell straight down her back and swished to and fro as she walked into the room.
“You look fuckin’ gorgeous Rae. Finn’s going to go crazy when he sees you.” Izzy said.
“He’d better do so! I had to get up at half five to perfect this look. I need to look perfect for Damon when I see him this time.” Rae said as she walked over to look at herself in the mirror.
She winced a little as she saw her reflection. She still struggled to see any beauty in herself, despite endless therapy sessions and numerous hours standing in front of mirrors and saying ‘it’s fucking embarrassing how good I look some days’. However, as she looked even she had to admit to herself that she looked nice.
Izzy yawned and checked her watch, “I can’t believe its 7AM. What time is he coming to get you?”
“In fifteen minutes.” Rae replied as she plonked herself down on her bed.
“Rae” came a voice from the corridor.
Her bedroom door was flung open and a red faced Linda appeared in her doorway. Rae threw an angry look in her mum’s direction
“What?” Rae replied curtly.
“Finn’s here.” The door was shut as abruptly and as loudly as it had been opened.
“He’s early!” Rae moaned as she began to hurry around her room, grabbing her bag and her disposable camera that had been purchased for the very occasion of seeing Damon again.
She stopped to look at herself in the mirror and once again frowned at the reflection. Suddenly a hand wrapped around her waist and Chloe pulled her into a tight hug.
“You look beautiful babe.” She whispered in Rae’s ear and Rae pulled away from her with a nod of the head.
“Thank you.” She whispered, smiling bravely at Chloe before turning to leave the room.
Finn was waiting in the car, oasis blaring as quietly as he could from the speakers. It was only early and he didn’t really fancy having Rae’s mum shouting at him to ‘turn that racket down’. He nodded his head slightly as the front door opened, Chloe walked out. She was wearing her usual attire; short skirt, crop top and puffa-jacket, chestnut brown hair swinging over her shoulder. Chloe sent a little smile in Finn’s direction and walked over to her own car, Izzy hot on her trail with a yawn. Rae was last to leave and Finn couldn’t quite see her. She had her back turned to him as she shut the door but as she turned to face him, he could help the sharp intake of breath that left his body.
She looked amazing. A smile came onto his lips as she walked towards him, her broody dark eyes almost burning into his soul. He shook his head slightly before looking away, trying his hardest to achieve a cool composure as she joined him in the car.
“Alright?” She asked.
“Alright girl!” He replied with enthusiasm, “lookin’ forward to today?”
“Oh y’know,” she shrugged, “it’s no big deal.”
Rae had fallen asleep no sooner than ten minutes after they’d left. Soft snores left her mouth as the sleepless night took its toll on her, leaving Finn chuckling beside her. They were nearing the festival grounds when a song came over the speakers. Finn grinned wider and immediately yanked the knob on the radio round so high that the music blared.
Rae awoke with a start as Spaceman filled her eardrums. She sent a grumpy, scolding scowl in Finn’s direction who laughed cheekily at her face.
“What?” He claimed as he feigned innocence with wide eyes and a bashful grin, “I thought this was your favourite song!”
Rae was about to argue back when she saw the most beautiful thing she’d thought she’d ever seen.
It was a sign.
The sign read ‘V Festival 1997’ and she felt the butterflies fill her stomach. Any minute she would be in the same venue as Damon Albarn; yes, she’d be surrounded by thousands of other fans but they stood no chance against her. She was meant to be with Damon. The very glint of his eyes made her clit quiver.
“We’re here!” She gasped as Finn pulled up inside the parking zone for staff. A quick flash of his radio staff card let them past the guard that was placed in front of the barrier and then they were there.
Finn led the way, but only just. Rae’s long legs matched his quick strides and she bounced beside him, excitement rising in her stomach.
“I was reading that Damon’s grandfather was a conscientious objector during World War II and that’s why he’s so anti-war. Great innit?”
“Yeah.” Finn answered with a monotone response.
“Did you know that he also failed his 11+ exams? Crazy! One of the most famous and best lookin’ men out there and he can’t even pass a silly exam…”
“Mmm.” Finn replied and rolled his eyes.
Rae grew quiet as she finally noticed Finn’s gruff replies and his stiff body language. He started to walk quicker and Rae started to get out of breath as she struggled to keep up with him.
“Finn!” She huffed as she came to a stop.
Finn spun around and Rae bent over as a means to catch her breath. She looked up at him with a hard glare.
“What’s up with you?” She asked between breaths.
“Nothing.” He replied curtly but his face softened a little. “Tell you what, you wait here and I’ll go and get the backstage passes. Alright girl?”
Rae straightened up, “alright.” She replied with a small smile.
Finn’s face brightened up and he strode towards her and grabbed her into a tight hug. Rae’s arms stayed at her side as she felt Finn’s lean body press up against hers. When he finally released her she stumbled a little, her balance shifting.
“Magic.” He grinned, “Don’t you move alright? Don’t want you getting lost now!”
“Alright!” Rae laughed and Finn winked at her before jogging off towards a group of people.
As Rae stood on her own, she noticed that she was amongst a crowd of typically cool grunge kids. Spliffs hung from their mouths and band t-shirts emblazoned their chests. Rae immediately copied their laid back body language, desperate to fit into a society that she felt like she belonged in. These were her people; she could’ve spent hours talking to them about the differences between Blur and Oasis before getting high with them as they all became best buds.
She slipped her oval shaped sunglasses on over her eyes and shook her hair a little so it fell around her. Leaning against the burger van that Finn had placed her beside, she pushed her chest out to draw attention to her Stone Roses T-Shirt. She felt confident and empowered; a strange sensation that she hadn’t felt in a long time.
Her attention was quickly diverted though as a mop of hair passed her.
‘Damon!’ Her insides screamed at her and she began to follow him through the crowd.
It was her one chance to impress him; the minute that they saw each other, the crowd would melt away and it would just be the two of them. He would rush towards her, pulling her into his arms and whispering all the things she desired him to say. How he wished that he could take her right there and then. How he’d ask her if it was ok for him to go down on her for so long that he’d have to develop gills.
He was within reaching distance, having met a few friends and Rae didn’t hesitate as she pushed out her hand and tapped him on the shoulder. He spun round and Rae’s hopes died as she realised that it wasn’t him; it was just someone copying his hair style. She blushed before rushing away further into the crowd. As she looked around she began to realise the number of boys with Damon styled hair and her heart began to race.
Her eyes darted around the field as she slowly began to realise that she was lost. Finn had warned her not to go away from the spot he’d left her in. She couldn’t even see the burger van that she’d propped herself up against. Instead all she could see was thousands of heads and a fierce looking mosh pit metres away from her.
Panic began to rise in her and her fists clenched into balls at her sides.
1-2-4-6-2. She couldn’t keep count. She couldn’t keep herself calm, she was lost and didn’t have a clue where to go or what to do.
Her eyes continued to dart to and fro and she shook her head as the crowds started to close in on her. Her breaths drew shorter and quicker as she struggled for air.
Finn hummed to the music that pumped out of the speakers from the nearby stage. His smile was bright and anticipation great as he quickly made his way to where he’d left Rae. He expected to find her with a smile on her face as she waited to meet Damon again.
It killed him a little whenever she went on about him. He knew that it would never go anywhere with Damon; he was just a built up fantasy in Rae’s head and would never live up to it in reality. In Rae’s head, he was perfect but Finn knew that he took a dump just like everybody else did.
As his eyes fell on the spot where he’d left Rae, he realised that she was nowhere to be seen. He frantically searched the groups of grungers that scattered near the burger van, begging to find her puffing on some weed but she wasn’t there.
It didn’t take two seconds for Finn to begin pushing his way through the crowds to find her. Every worst thought came to his mind as he thought about where she could be and his stomach lurched as he worried about never finding her again.
He stopped still and started to scan the crowd for signs of her long black hair, dark brown eyes and perfect red lipstick.
“Come on Rae.” He whispered quietly, desperate to find her.
Someone bashed into her and Rae was sent flying. She fell to the floor and opened up her eyes to find mud decorating her jeans and parts of her t-shirt. She got slowly to her feet and begun to fight back the tears.
The day was turning into a disaster instead of the best day of her life. The only place she wanted to be was to be at home, tucked up in her nice warm bed. All she wanted to do was pretend that the day had never started.
Her eyes clouded over with tears and she could no longer see anyone or anything. She tried to blink them away but instead of clearing them, more filled her eyes and fell down her cheeks. She could feel the sobs beginning to rise up in her chest and no matter how much she tried to push it back again she couldn’t stop them.
One almighty loud sob left her lips and soon more tears were falling. Her hands fell to her eyes as she tried to wipe them away but it was no use; they were falling fast and heavy.
Suddenly, she was embraced in a hug and she breathed in the familiar scent of CK One and cigarettes.
“You-found-me” She managed to choke out.
“Of course.” He replied and she looked up to find him smiling down at her. “Gave me a heart attack y’did! I told ya not to move.”
“I thought I saw Damon…” She grumbled.
Finn chuckled and rolled his eyes, “c’mon girl.”
He held out his hand for her to take and she gladly gripped it. He led the way through the crowds, their bodies pushing through other bodies. Rae’s eyes dried up quickly and she was able to take in the boy that had taken control.
Gone was the awkward boy she’d known for over a year now. In his place was a confident, self-assured man. She’d never noticed Finn in that light before and her head spun a little from the realisation. She’d always known that he’d been attractive but she’d never really got why all the girls seemed to fall at his feet. As she looked at him, she started to realise that he had nice broad shoulders and his hand was amazing to hold.
Finn was a sweetheart for the next couple of hours. He could see that Rae was still a little unsettled from getting lost and spent the time getting her drinks and making her laugh. Soon she was back to the same old Rae and her smile radiated more happiness than it had ever done before.
“Right,” Finn said as he finished his beer, “I’d better get going.”
Rae’s eyes opened wide as she began to panic but Finn laughed it off. He took her hand and pulled her up from the chair that he’d perched her on all those hours before. The VIP area was a lot less crowded than standing in amongst everyone else and Finn knew it was where they needed to be. Although a part of him ached to be listening to the bands up on the main stage, sitting with Rae had been a lot more rewarding.
“You can come too.” He insisted, looking at her through his fringe with a secret smile. “I’ve just got to do an interview with Ash.”
Rae screwed up her face to show her love-hate relationship with the band and Finn screwed his face back. He didn’t let go of her hand as he led her towards the area where he would be interviewing. Rae found that holding Finn’s hand was becoming comfortable and almost second nature. The second that he let go, it was as if she’d lost a part of her. She crossed her arms to try and brush away the feeling of longing that had made its way into her heart.
“You stand here. I’ll just be over there-,” he pointed towards some chairs a few meters away, “…and then after we’ll try and find Blur. Ok?”
“Yeah, sounds cool.” Rae pretended to be calm and collected.
The very idea of meeting Blur and Damon again made her want to scream louder than any of the other girls in the field behind her. The idea of being within stroking distance of Damon was far too tempting and she would’ve walked off to find him if it hadn’t had been for the distressing state she’d found herself before.
No; for now she was happy being with Finn. Her eyes fell on him. He was perched on the armchair while the members of Ash were piled on top of a shabby couch that was placed in the middle of the marked off area. She began to notice that Finn seemed at ease, laughing and joking with the band before kicking the interview off. She could recall him once saying that he liked to make those he interviewed feel at ease before he started the ball rolling, it made them more open to more interesting questions.
“He’s good isn’t he?” came a voice from behind her and she slowly turned her head to face the voice.
“Yeah, he’s brilliant-,” her face paled as she realised who was standing just behind her and talking to her.
Damon. Fucking. Albarn.
“Damon!” She whispered.
He laughed. “More than you said last time!”
“You remember me?” She squealed quietly, beginning to slowly hyperventilate.
“Of course… at the place where that kid works yeah? You just sorta grunted at me.”
Rae blushed a deep shade of scarlet but shook her head ferociously before she had another panic attack.
“Can I have a picture?” She asked, “You’re my favourite person in the whole entire world.”
Damon nodded, although looking a little pained at yet another teenage girl. She threw him her cheesiest grin and began to rummage in her bag for her disposable camera. Her handbag felt like the deepest, biggest thing she’d ever put her hand in and by the time she’d managed to locate the camera, Damon looked a little bored.
“Right ok.” She smiled wide at him again.
She positioned herself next to him and held the camera out in front of them. She wrapped herself around his body and waited for his arm to wrap around her waist. It never did. Instead, both of his arms stayed limp beside him as she took the picture.
“And another one for luck!” She said, winding up the camera and positioning it again to take another picture.
“Right, that’s it now.” Damon said as he pushed himself out of Rae’s reach.
Smiling politely at her, he made his excuses and walked over to talk to some other guys that were hanging out at the far end of the VIP area. Rae’s heart was beating faster than it had ever done before. She had hugged Damon. She’d got a photograph with him. She’d told him that he was the most amazing person in the world. She could feel the connection between them and she knew that there was something there. He hadn’t wanted to hug her back in case it looked weird for the media. Yes, that was it.
Finn came back from his interview alive and full of adrenaline. He quickly grabbed Rae into a hug before letting her go sheepishly.
“I feel so amazing!” He exclaimed with a bright smile on his face, “so fuckin’ alive!”
“Finn…” Rae whispered.
Finn looked at her with a puzzled look on his face, eyebrows cocked slightly but smile still evident.
“I met fucking Damon Albarn.”
“Oh right.” Finn said, his smile fading and face falling.
“It was so amazing Finn. He smelt just like BO and ciggies. It were amazing.”
“Sounds it.” Finn replied with a heavy sarcasm.
“It was!” Rae insisted as she tried to catch Finn’s eyes.
Finn couldn’t look at her; he was pissed off. Not only had he missed out on two hours of once in a lifetime live performances, but when he’d actually tried to share a moment that had meant everything to him, she’d shot him down.
He stalked off quickly, Rae hot on his trail as he walked towards the free bar at the far end of the VIP area.
“Finn!” Rae called after him, “Finn! What have I done?”
He ignored her.
“Not my fault if your interview went crap.” Rae yelled at him.
Finn stopped dead in his footsteps. His chest heaved heavily in anger and he turned around quickly so that they were facing. He began to pace towards her, his eyes narrowing as he did so and Rae’s arms wrapped around herself.
“My interview did not go crap. The reason why I’m fuckin’ pissed off wit’ya is because I ‘ave this AMAZIN’ experience and you just don’t give a shit. I tried to talk to ya and you just starting chattin’ shit about being with fuckin’ Damon, who by the way, don’t give a shit about you.”
Rae’s eyes began to fill with tears as Finn’s angry words entered her heart.
“What the fuck do you know?” She argued back, just as angry. “You were gonna give the ticket to fuckin’ Archie.”
Finn rolled his eyes, “You’re a dickhead. D’ya really think I’d give them to him? When you mean so much to me… when I l-,“ he stopped mid-sentence.
Rae stared at him wide-eyed.
“You what?” Her heart was beating in her ears.
“When I like, think you’re dead sound.” He replied, wishing that he could find the courage to tell her the truth about how he felt.
The silence echoed in around them. If it wasn’t for the loud screams and heavy guitars that came from the stage, then Rae would’ve sworn that they were alone.
Finn was the first to break the silence.
“C’mon.” He said as he put his hand out to Rae. “Let’s go to the stage. Blur have just come on.”