YOU CANNOT BE MAD AT ME

my favorite thing i’ve learned in college is that way back in ancient china there was this poet/philosopher guy who wrote this whole pretentious poem about how enlightened he was that was like “the eight winds cannot move me” blahblahblah and he was really proud of it so he sent it to his friend who lived across the lake and then his friend sends it back and just writes “FART” (or the ancient Chinese equivalent) on it and he was SO MAD he travels across the lake to chew his friend out and when he gets there his friend says “wow. the eight winds cannot move you, but one fart sends you across the lake”

So I’m already seeing people play a game of telephone with Dream Daddy discourse

There’s people who are citing those who have been told by a friend of a friend who may or may not have played the game why it’s SUPER HOMOPHOBIC and how disappointed they are that they cannot buy it now etc all up in my gaming circles rn and it’s making me slowly lean my head against the wall and hum “Mad World” to myself, tbqh.

And not naming any names but there’s also half-truths and hyperbole going around from people who seem to mostly just not… like the game. Like, I’ve seen people say “it MUST be queerbaiting, bc I thought the game felt soulless, so they clearly don’t care about gay couples!” Like no, you just didn’t like the damn game.

So let’s clear up a couple things.

  • Multiple people, including at least one writer, who worked on this game in important capacities are LGBT. This was not made by an “all cishet team”.
  • There is no “cult ending”. There is a maybe-happening-maybe-not Halloween DLC (as confirmed by an artist who worked on the game, albeit not through official channels) that isn’t accessible in game at the moment but was found by data mining. Even if you think a parody ending involving jokey violence is inherently homophobic (spoiler: I think that’s stupid and limiting to LGBT media, go away), the context of it being halloween themed DLC puts a different framing on that altogether. HALLOWEEN IS THE GAYEST FUCKIN HOLIDAY GUYS PLZ
  • It’s not canon. Seriously. DD has no “bizarre twist”. It has an unused side-route that was horror themed.
  • Any and all humour in the premise is just Dad jokes. There’s no goddamn gay jokes, guys. “It’s funny and gay and therefore homophobic!” is obnoxious as shit, sorry not every Big Ol’ Queer wants to live a pious, humourless existence. I’ve played through most of this game by now and it’s not got fucking gay jokes (or trans jokes) in it.
  • There’s legit a good discussion to be had about the way Joseph’s ending plays into some uncomfortable tropes, but I’m gonna be honest, “never allow for anything except a 100% happy ending, for any character” is not a useful mindset to enter that discussion with. “It sucks that the character resembling some real-life experiences around being a closeted religious figure is the one who doesn’t get a ‘good ending’“ is closer to a good jumping off point.
  • (Also, I see u all telling trans fans, fans of colour, etc not to get a game where they get treated decently bc you think the blonde Christian got the short end of the stick.)
  • It’s short because it’s an £11 indie game not because They Don’t Care About The Gays or w/e jesus christ chill.

I keep coming back to the stupid “cult ending” bullshit bc it’s like, my guy, “lgbt people are often demonized so doing a joke route where someone is literally possessed is Bad” is allowed to be taken in a slightly different context when the followup is “also nobody important in this game is goddamn heterosexual and the actual content of the game is totally different to this”. Criticism of media isn’t supposed to be a binary checklist of “does or does not have [x]”, you’re supposed to engage with it using the context of the work. Can you- and lbr, a lot of this is coming from cishet allies- just CHILL and let us have a sense of HUMOUR once in a while.

anyway i played a trans dude dad and gay dated and gay fucked some dudes and had a blast, it was SWEET, dd is a fun game

You say I am the best you’ve ever had, but neither of us care to admit I am also the best you’ll never be able to keep. I am a furious, windstruck storm of a human being, with passion bordering on madness and romanticism bordering on obsession. My kisses are the only part of myself your lips can fathom, and your hands cannot even touch my body without your fingers staining from all the storms that rage within me.
You seem to love the type of women whose eyes are serene and bright as the summer days they spend with you, who are beautiful and competent in the ways the world is only to happy to accept. They love with lukewarm tenderness and just a hint of arrogance only a life of privilege can bring- they hurt you, perhaps, but never amaze you, and the height of their unpredictability will end in a drunk car ride home that tastes almost as common as the whiskey you drink to forget them. But forgotten they will soon become, and there are many, many, women who will share the shade of their eyes and the nature of their well contained laughs. They will take months from you, tears from you, and sobriety from you temporarily, but never anything deeper. You do not understand the ways, then, in which women like me love. I will take the speck of honey brown from your eyes, the warmth of your skin, and the movement of your hips and hold them closer than you pull me, for I do not know what it means to feel without completion. To love, to feel, to touch without giving all of myself is a foreign concept I have no desire to become acquainted with, and I am sorry, but the only compensation I accept is everything you cannot give in fear it will destroy you. I will love you with all I have to offer, all of my madness and wild hair and sweet laughter and crooked teeth, and while there could be paradise between us, I offer no promises about what we will take from each other. Does that frighten you? It should. The truth is I am as full of destruction as I am affection.
You crave the sensation of me on top of you, but you do not understand me. Do not be fooled by the kindness in my eyes or the softness of my skin- I am a multitude of miraculous tragedies dressed in art. And as much as I want to love you and spread the deepest parts of myself over you like the tides on a coastal shore, I know you cannot love me in the way I demand to be loved. You are too accustomed to the idea of affection with no lasting consequence, and so you cannot possibly have enough to give without leaving me at least partly empty. I am someone full of presence, and any absence you leave will leave me bare.
—  ap (7.17) I do not know what it means to love with mercy

@markiplier

Please get Mark to see this.

I’m well aware that you know it’s important to credit creators. This goes for photoshop and art alike (etc) . I really hope you saw that my thing with Tom Brady and Tyler was used and not credited (as far as I know, please correct me if it was). I just want to reiterate something.

In my book, it is never okay to use someone’s content without direct permission from them. It is okay, however, if this content includes the person using it and is credited properly. Example: Markiplier fanart being used by Mark and Mark only, so long as it’s credited.

I saw Tyler defend someone who stole my art, saying they only wanted to share it. This is wrong. You need direct permission from an artist to use it.

Please, advocate something like this in the community, and please please please, at least give me credit. I am mad by principle. You cannot excuse theft in anyway. 

Edit: I’m not mad per say. I’m dissapointed. I understand Mark has good intentions and I understand he likely forgot. Just principle here.

edit 2: For those who aren’t aware, mark has seen this! just leaving it up. :P

Romantic Royalty Starters
  • “I want to unlace your corset slowly.”
  • “I couldn’t take my eyes off you from across the ball room.”
  • “Not any jewel in the entire kingdom could compare to you.”
  • “I cannot marry that man. He smells of rank meat!”
  • “I cannot marry that woman. Her voice causes dogs to howl!”
  • “I need you in my life. I am incomplete without you.”
  • “We could retire to my suite. No one would know.”
  • “May I suggest a walk in the garden? The roses are in bloom.”
  • “I will slay anything that dares to harm you, my love.”
  • “There are secret passages. Come! We haven’t a moment to spare.”
  • “I will marry you. I shall make it happen. Somehow.”
  • “How long would it take to remove all those layers?”
  • “My crown is heavy. It feels lighter when you’re around.”
  • “If you go to war we will not be together…”
  • “Nothing matters if we are not allowed to be in each other’s arms.”
  • “Our parents are fools.”
  • “I do not care if our nations are at war.”
  • “It drives me mad that no one will leave us alone!”
  • “When we are not together, I am pained to my very soul.”
  • “We must pretend not to feel anything. They cannot know about us.”
  • “Forgive me…”
  • “We shall be happy together, forever.”
  • “I know that fairy tales cannot come true but I feel that one may have.”
  • “You are so magnificent on the dance floor.”
  • “You sparkle even without the jewelry.”
  • “I have never seen a more eloquent creature.”
  • “This maybe the wine talking, but you are glorious.”
  • “I’ll never look at another.”
  • “I’m blushing…”
  • “I will fight for you.”
5

favourite ability: no longer human (人間失格)

“Death at the claws of a mad predator does possess a certain appeal… but sadly you cannot kill me. My power allows me to nullify the gifts wielded by others merely by touching them.”

There’s something about you. The feeling I got when I was around you, that excited nervousness; I’ve never felt that jolt with anyone else. It’s like listening to your favorite song or that first sip of coffee in the morning. Just pure unexplainable bliss. The way your eyes lit up when you play in the band, or how you stood in the middle of a thunderstorm blowing smoke rings. You’re passionate, talented, deep, mysterious. There’s so much to you that I just can’t put words to. I think that’s why even though you left me and you’re happy with someone else, I can’t be angry with you. I miss you, I mourn you, but I cannot be mad. You are that favorite song. You are that first sip of coffee.
—  A.S
I’ve never been good at expressing my feelings. I hate confrontation, and fear making someone, especially you, mad. You whisper in my ear every night, ‘I’m always here for you.’ I trust you, and that’s a big thing for me. It’s not easy though, to just say how I feel. I fall way too hard and fast. I love too easily. One day, you’ll be like the rest. One day you’ll realize, I’m not easy to love. I take my feelings I cannot express, and take it out on you. I get so frustrated with my mess of emotions and thoughts, I get upset by the smallest thing. It sets me off. I take you always being here for me for granted, because I say stuff you don’t wanna here. Fuck, I just want to express my feelings for you, and with you. I’m sorry it’s so hard. I’m sorry you’re going to get tired of it too.
—  One Day // MB

pidge and keith headcanons

  • pidge is lucy and keith is charlie brown
  • keith whenever he hears a weird sound: mothman pidge: i knew he’d show
  • keith always gets her peanut preferences mixed up and thinks she likes peanuts but hates peanut butter flavored foods and pidge doesn’t have the heart to tell him he’s wrong
  • pidge, with tears in her eyes and a mouthful of peanuts: i love them…they’re my favorite legumes
  • even though keith isn’t that short he is still technically the second tiniest and pidge holds this fact near and dear to her
  • pidge, sleepily walking into the kitchen: give me a boost [keith pops her up too hard and sends her flying through the ceiling] keith: shit
  • they hang out in pidge’s room and when they do they put signs on the door that say “don’t enter” and “cryptids only” 
  • when they hang out they turn out the lights and tell each other creepy stories
  • keith will get hungry randomly while they’re on missions and pidge just pulls out like three granola bars lance whispering to hunk: how did she get those
  • neither of them sleep enough so they see each other walking half dead through the ship at like 4:28 AM and they’re just like [waves weakly] hey
  • they’re both level 6000 roast masters so they insult each other all the time and shiro will be like “hey, hey enough of that” and they’re like “what? no we love each other”
  • they both are sarcastic so often that sometimes they talk to each other and they just “was that a joke” “fuck i’m not sure” “me neither”
  • keith: mumbles everyone: what pidge: god use your ears guys. he said he thinks the galra are going after the most densely populated planets first
  • [the crew goes to the beach] pidge to keith: pass me the sunscreen, scully
  • keith and pidge when any of the other paladins do anything annoying: men
  • keith: what is “truffle butter”? pidge: absolutely not
  • keith has a crush on zak bagans and pidge makes jokes every chance she gets
  • pidge: hurry up keith zak is waiting for you keith: SHUT- lance: who is “zak”… is he taller than me?
  • they’re both just. garbage goblins. there’s wrappers everywhere.
  • pidge drinks too much coffee and is all jittery and keith is the one who finally takes the mug out of her hands and is just like “that’s enough”
  • keith always gets minor cuts and scrapes when he trains alone and pidge and him have a routine where pidge kinda just bandages and disinfects the cuts and while she does that they gossip with each other
  • [pidge rubbing her hands together like a fly] 
  • pidge: that’s morally wrong you know keith: yeah pidge: let’s do it
  • shiro: you two cannot just go around asking random alien bystanders if they’ve seen the chupacabra. that is so unprofessional. 
  • pidge: were you listening to evanescence again keith, with tears in his eyes: no… pidge: give me the other earbud
  • pidge can rap the entire nicki minaj verse in monster and keith is just there in the back hyping her up
  • pidge capitalizes off the fact that lance doesn’t know who zak bagans is and is constantly making comments that imply that keith is romantically involved with him and lance keeps getting so mad and jealous and hunk is just laughing in the corner
  • keith finds pidge asleep in like, empty cupboards all the time and just. sighs and pulls her out and puts her in her bed
  • keith’s repeats the ghost adventures intro all the time bc echolalia and pidge is just like..there he is…my sweet son
Writing Prompts

Send me a number and any specific details you might like to see included.

1. Can you just back off?
2. I’m right here, okay? You’re all right.
3. Lock the door.
4. Keep it up and see what happens.
5. Don’t touch me right now.
6. That lipstick’s not gonna stay put for long.
7. Baby, just breathe.
8. This is a terrible idea.
9. For fuck’s sake, just shut up.
10. It’s too early for this.
11. If you keep squeezing that hard, you’ll break my hand.
12. I’m just stressed.
13. What did you break?
14. It’s four A.M.
15. I don’t need you anymore.
16. What an interesting conclusion.
17. And now you’re naked. Okay.
18. What are you wearing?
19. You’re overreacting.
20. I can’t believe you don’t even know my eye color.
21. And you thought I’d be okay with that?
22. You can’t keep doing this.
23. I’m so sorry. I can’t even tell you how sorry I am.
24. Why do you smell like smoke?
25. Why do you smell like a walking liquor bar?
26. Why do you smell like perfume?
27. Is there someone else? Don’t lie.
28. You took advantage of me.
29. If you think you’re getting out of this that easily, you’re sadly mistaken.
30. You put us both in danger.
31. I don’t understand you.
32. You’re just asking for it.
33. I could just choke you right now.
34. You are everything to me.
35. This is gonna hurt.
36. I don’t deserve this.
37. You can’t just fix everything with a kiss. This isn’t a booboo.
38. Can you slow down?
39. It feels deeper this way.
40. Did you just stick your fingers in my mouth?
41. Your family is in the other room!
42. I’m begging you.
43. Hey, you’re safe now. It’s over.
44. Where is all of my underwear?
45. I almost died.
46. This isn’t just one of your little jokes.
47. What did you do to your hair?
48. You’re scaring me.
49. I think I drank too much.
50. Well, this was unexpected.
51. It’s too late for that.
52. I didn’t mean to hurt you.
53. It’s your birthday. It is your birthday, right?
54. You’re just gonna leave me here?
55. That’s mine. You’re not taking it.
56. You made that more sexual than it should have been.
57. I’m not just gonna wait around for you.
58. That’s my only clean shirt.
59. Did you use my cologne? You smell like me.
60. I feel like I might be sick.
61. I can’t believe you would do this.
62. Don’t underestimate me. I’m a seasoned pro.
63. Your mom says differently.
64. Did you steal this?
65. I thought I lost you.
66. I think you need a shower.
67. Call an ambulance.
68. I can’t talk about this anymore.
69. Can you put your mouth here?
70. You taste like toothpaste.
71. A little manky-panky.
72. I’m going to absolutely wreck you.
73. Don’t ever say that again.
74. I don’t really care what you think.
75. I can’t do that.
76. This is a train wreck.
77. Do you need some tissues?
78. You can fuck right off.
79. You’re still gonna go, aren’t you?
80. I cannot believe you forgot. This was important to me.
81. If you buy that, I’m leaving you.
82. Can we just start fresh?
83. Don’t forget the condoms!
84. I feel like I’ve been split in two.
85. I’ve never felt anything like that.
86. You’re driving me mad.
87. This is completely different.
88. Can you believe the moon tonight?
89. Wait, why are you crying?
90. You’re making this hard for me.
91. I hope you rot in hell.
92. I think you’re an angel.
93. Do this for me and I’ll do anything you want.
94. I’m gonna take good care of you.
95. Let’s see what you’ve got.
96. I went easy on you.
97. I’m getting better, right?
98. Read my fucking lips.
99. You make me happy.
100. I can feel your heart beating.

anonymous asked:

I was excited for your site until I saw you agreeing with someone about "petty SJW bullshit." As a gay and trans person who is a survivor of incestuous abuse, merely trying to discuss my experiences and how certain people used the "fiction isn't real" excuse to traumatized me further explicitly and knowingly about what happened to me has been excused as just me wanting to be mad. Your site doesn't want to be safe for people who dare to be critical of fandom, and so I cannot endorse you.

I’m sorry that you cannot support our site. As a bisexual transgender person who has suffered abuse in the past, I’m not dismissing that as “petty SJW bullshit”.

If you are simply seeking a place to safely critique fandom, it wouldn’t be difficult to make fandom critical groups or to discuss tropes in fandom broadly. However, individually attacking contributors of fandom isn’t healthy, nor is it particularly helpful to your cause.

If you’re seeking a place to send anonymous hate to fandom contributors, I’m afraid that our site wouldn’t really be a good fit for you to begin with. We don’t condone any amount of harassment.

2

I discovered fandom in 2001, and fell down the rabbit hole. I landed hard. My life got busy in 2002 onwards, and I all but vanished from fannish life. I was well and truly out by the summer of 2010, but when a friend nudged me to watch this new show called Sherlock that had just aired, I did. I loved it. 

I loved the relationship between Sherlock and John. I loved what they’d done with Watson! He had depths! He was a man of action, but he was obviously made of coiled, unspoken emotion! So compelling, so many possibilities! The desire to dip into this nascent fandom was rearing its head. This time around, I knew what choice lay before me, and what its consequences were. Open that door, or not?

If it hadn’t been for the fact that I was one year post cancer treatment and facing another surgery to determine if I had a new round of treatment to endure, I think I would have closed that door. Fandom takes up a lot of time and energy. It can be deliriously fun and damagingly distracting at the same time. I had a surgery date. I wanted to be distracted. I opened the door.

I tried not to write anything. I love writing fanfiction, but I never plan to do it. When I write, it’s because I have to. It’s wonderful, but it consumes me completely, and who has times for that? Who choses to be so consumed?I read and read, I had my surgery, I read some more, I got good news regarding my health (yay!), and then, goddammit, I wrote something.

Something small, I thought that would be okay. I thought I could get away with it. Don’t write any novels this time. Just a little thing. Just scratch the itch.

The Progress of Sherlock Holmes is a novel-length story written by someone who was trying very hard to avoid writing a novel-length story. I was in denial about it being a novel-length story for the first half of it, easily. That damn story forced me to do something I’d decided never to do again, and I’m grateful for that.

I wrote it because I felt compelled to, even though it contains a characterization of Sherlock that few if any people wanted to read about. It’s in first person present tense, another decision few if any readers want a writer to make. I apologized for it a lot, but I had to write it. And I loved it. That story reminded me how much I love writing, and how happy writing makes me, and that’s not something I’ll soon forget again.

The voice in that story is so sticky that half the comments left on it are in the same voice. I had to work myself up to write in that voice every time I sat down to work on it, and I was never sure whether I was getting it consistently or not, even right up to the end. But afterwards it took me fully 6 months to stop writing in that damn voice.

Honestly, I have no idea why my difficult, weird, inappropriate on many levels attempt at a story, written after only 3 aired episodes of a show in 2010-11, received its 10,000th kudos today. That’s a variety of madness and kindness that I cannot explain. But I am grateful for it.

Thank you for being here when I needed you. Thank you for finding a place for a story that no one, including me, really wanted. Thank you.

Terrible Twos(Batboys)

Bruce:

  • Okay let’s get something straight.
  • This man has only had to take care of kids from like 10 and up.
  • He never had to deal with an actual child.
  • Jesus Christ this man is so unprepared.
  • And with his genes, it’s probably much worse.
  • But hey, you’re the best at hide & seek.
  • If you thought he didn’t sleep before that oohh boy.
  • He’s probably crying internally.
  • Screaming children are not his thing
  • But let’s get another thing straight,
  • He still loves you.
  • With all his damn heart.
  • And he will do his best to protect you and make you feel loved.
  • He probably reads every parenting book he can find
  • Before eventually going to Alfred.
  • And man Alfred is a f**king champ.
  • He knows everything.
  • Meanwhile everyone is panicking and frantically searching for you, Alfie over here just casually pulls the cabinets open and picks you up.
  • “Aren’t you a curious little lad/lady? Just like your father.
  • (I think this turned into an alfred headcanon lmao)
  • Alfred helps Bruce set the bed time(god does this man even know what a bed time is??)
  • He also help with proper foods.
  • But let me tell ya.
  • No matter how busy Bruce is, no matter where he is, he manages to always read a bedtime story, and wish you sweet dreams.
  • If anyone were to ever hurt you, whether it be emotional, physical, or mentally, he will give them hell.

Dick:

  • My oh my
  • My boy has so many nicknames for you.
  • And they’re all weird as heck.
  • Every weekend he steals you(no, literally jumps through your window and kidnaps you) for a playdate.
  • Takes you out for icecream and to the amusement park a lot
  • You’re spoiled rotten because of this guy.
  • Honestly is probably the easiest to bond to.
  • But he doesn’t spoil you too much.
  • At some point in time, Alfred puts his foot down.
  • Movie nights of Disney are frequent.
  • So many recordings of his baby sister singing and dancing.
  • If Bruce somehow isn’t able to read to you, he’s over in a flash with 3 books, reading them to you. 
  • Later, when Bruce is back, he reads to you the next night.

Jason:

  • Probably has so many shirts with funny texts on them
  • “Touch my sister punk and I’ll knock ya into next week”
  • Carries you around everywhere.
  • All his teammates coo at you.
  • Meanwhile Bruce is having yet another heart attack.
  • One time he found you with his helmet on wobbling and trying to act like him.
  • He dies(again)
  • Tough Brother TM
  • He babies you though.
  • Like if you cry 11/10 times he spoils you.
  • He just doesn’t like seeing his sister cry.
  • Bizzaro loves playing with you though.
  • He makes sure not to be rough when playing though.
  • AFTER ALL YOU ARE JUST THE TINIEST HUMAN HE HAS EVER SEEN

Tim:

  • Surprisingly, it isn’t Bruce or Dick who are the first to be there when you have a nightmare.
  • He’s always there.
  • He is so overprotective too.
  • Sets extra cameras around your room and the manor.
  • So when you stir awake from a nightmare, he stops what he’s doing and sits down with you, bringing his laptop with him to continue working.
  • Bruce walked one time to find you both passed out next to each other.
  • You were clinging to his hair but Tim did not care at all.
  • “TIM MOVE YOUR COFFEE!!”
  • “Oh….oH SHIT DON’T DRINK THAT
  • Lets you sit on his lap while he’s working.
  • One time you actually helped him with his work.
  • He couldn’t figure out a code and he was almost there and you pressed on of the keys and YAY code solved.
  • Still to this day thinks it’s coincidence. It probably was but-
  • He can never be mad at you though. Like, sometimes you’ll get into things an he just sighs and moves you away.
  • Don’t get me wrong though, he does tell you that what you did was bad.

Damian:

  • “They are my blood sibling therefore we have more connection and I’m of more importance to them”
  • Yeah okay Dami.
  • Dude your room is like, overflowing with pets.
  • I mean you as a kid appreciate it but Bruce cannot keep track of every animal to feed, and how to keep Jason from not eating them, and jesus christ is that another chicken-
  • “What do you mean she can’t hold a sword?”
  • DAMIAN SHE’S TWO
  • If you show him your drawing he gives honest criticism.
  • You probably don’t understand half of what he’s saying.
  • So you giggle and move on.
  • He keeps all of your drawings though.
  • He shows them off to Jon a lot.
  • Jon gives him a confused look but enjoys them nonetheless.
  • “Dami!”
  • “YOU HEAR THAT SHE SAID MY NAME PEASANT SCUM!!”
  • LANGUAGE
  • “Scum!!”
  • DAMN IT DAMIAN
Not-Date

Pairings: T’Challa x F!Reader, Tony x Science

Request:

hi can you write something that the reader is watching harry potter WITH tchalla in secret and EVERYONE finds out and ship it - and then tchalla confess his love for her in a harry potter way like “muggle in the streets but a wizard in the sheets” PLEASE, I LOVE YOU i know that is a little cliché BUT t'challa is everything to me meow 😻 BYE 😺 


Bucky has created a chatroom.

Bucky has invited Y/N.

Bucky: Tell Thor to hand over Mjolnir!

Sam has joined the chat.

Sam: I WANT HIS CAPE, Y/N.

Thor has joined the chat.

Thor: Lady Y/N, please save me from these men!

Bucky: GIVE IT

Sam: GIVEEEEEEE

Thor: Absolutely not!

Bucky: Scared I might actually be worthy? Maybe I can lift Mjolnir. Since my hand is no longer organic, maybe the elevator rule applies to me.

Sam: Damn, I’ve never thought about that.

Thor: That is nonsense!

Sam: Can I have your cape now?

Thor: Why do you want it?!

Sam: it is warm, i am cold.

Keep reading

Actual Quotes from my Dad (An English Teacher)
  • Dad: Why the hell did you put a comma there?
  • Dad: Do you even know what a participial phrase is?
  • Dad: Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time.
  • Dad: Who should I dress up as for the movie premier?
  • Dad: Hey are you awak? I know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right? Yeah. I need you to read this report. I can't tell if I am just super tired or if this is actual bullshit.
  • Dad: Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she doesn't care. I hate her.
  • Dad: I need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet.
  • Dad: Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know I don't like tattoos and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math.
  • Dad: Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today.
  • Dad: Mrs. Ashworth and I have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great Expectations.
  • Dad: It's like you didn't read the fucking book.
  • Dad: Okay. So this week you're reading this book I stole from Mrs. Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it.
  • Dad: *puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that I read them*
  • Dad: My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society. You aren't my son. Leave.
  • Dad: Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all I can afford, so...
  • Dad: Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass.
  • Dad: I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really need to know.
  • Dad: Fuck the government.
  • Dad: Fuck the school board.
  • Dad: Close the door.
  • Dad: Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and I hate him, but he also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha. DICKens.
  • Dad: I love puns.
  • Dad: People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes.
  • Dad: Please shut up.
  • Dad: Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels weird.
  • Dad: I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change your ringtones to inappropriate rap music.
  • Dad: I fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were apart of Austria-Hungary today and I almost told her to get out.
  • Dad: You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there.
  • Dad: Barbra Parks is fucking Queen.
  • Dad: I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm too lazy.
  • Dad: If I have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one more dance, I will kill them both.
  • Dad: They act like I care what they think.
  • Dad: I hate homework.
  • Dad: I have decided to become a politician.
  • Dad: What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman? Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed.
Dating Jackson would include

Originally posted by candyapplejimin

Jackon Wang
- This boy
- Never a dull moment
- Sassing each other
- If you can’t reach something on a high shelf, Jackson will be like “I’ll handle it, babe”
- Then he goes to get Yugyeom to get whatever it is you need
- Calling you babe all the time tbh
- “Hey, babe”
- It’s just casual
- S k i n s h i p
- Back hugs
- Probably holding your waist or thighs a lot
- He’s not even trying to be sexual half the time, his hand just feels right there
- Inseure Jackson tbh
- He’ll lift up his shirt to show you his abs
- He knows you love it but he’s still insecure
- “Do I look good?”
- Your jaw is on the floor because what does hE MEAN OF COURSE HE LOOKS GOOD W H AT TH E H E C K
- You can’t listen to music without him singing along
- Not actually singing tho
- “Babe you don’t have to listen to Whitney Houston, I gotchu”
- “Wait no please do–”
- Cue Jackson screaming
- But when he does actually sing oml
- He doesn’t know it but you hear him singing when he thinks he’s alone and it’s the greatest thing in the world his voice is so nICE
- You have to move apartments like five times because Jackson starts fires while cooking probably
- Trying to watch a movie while Jackson is doing a handstand in front of the TV
- If you don’t pay attention to him he’ll just drop into the splits
- Right then and there- splits
- If the splits don’t work he’ll probably just take off his shirt
- Jackson backflipping across a parking lot to you because that’s how he is
- Your friends stay confused about how weird your boyfriend is but you’re so used to it by now that you’re like “???? what?????”
- Amusement park dates where he tries to win you giant stuffed animals
- Him trying to get you to work out with him
- “I can teach you how to do a backflip!!!!”
- “NO JACKSON”
- Uses Wang Puppy attack on you to get you to do what he wants
- It works every damn time
- Sweaty Jackson is the highlight of your life
- Shameless self promoter for GOT7
- You’re in the car and Jackson is controlling the music and you know what you’re gonna listen to? GOT7 damn straight
- “Can we listen to something else this time?”
- “oH SO YOU HATE GOT7?”
- You realize very on in the relationship that you cannot break up Markson
- “Can Mark come with us?”
- “#markson for life”
- “Mark is so beautiful”
- But you’re not even mad because you’re happy that there’s another person looking out for your boyfriend
- Jaebum telling you to control Jackson and you’re like “ ….. sorry I can’t…”
- Because you really can’t
- Going with him when he goes to China and meeting his parents
- Arguing over completely pointless things
- These arguments last for maybe ten minutes and then they don’t matter anymore
- J e a l o u s J a c k s o n
- “He disrespected you!!”
- “He just looked at me Jackson”
- “dISRESPECTED
- "New phone who dis”
- “JACKSON S T O P”
- Sleepy nights where he’s really worn out and actually quiet and you guys just lay on the couch with his head on your chest and you play with his hair

When they get jealous

OSWALD COBBLEPOT

Originally posted by c0bbl3p0t


  • The bitch that tried to hit on you better run
  • bc the king of Gotham is going after him/her
  • He would mock them 
  • and make them feel bad for trying to flirt with you
  • “Trying to hit on [Y/N] [L/N]? Amateur…”
  • HE WOULD GIVE THEM THE GLARE
  • You make sure that he knows that you only have eyes for him
  • and that you love him a lot
  • But he would still hold you close
  • because he doesn’t want to lose you

EDWARD NYGMA

Originally posted by kvintessenciya


  • o boi
  • riddle boi is mad af
  • the ‘fite me m8′ glare  (ง'̀-‘́)ง
  • “I’m sorry.I didn’t know they were taken”
  • “You better be sorry
  • You have a pretty heated make out session later
  • and he tries to show you that you cannot find anyone better then him
  • but you already know that 
  • the guy has a pretty big ego 
  • but you love him

BRUCE WAYNE

Originally posted by gothamfox


  • he wouldn’t really notice at first
  • but when he does
  • #JealousBat
  • “I didn’t know they were taken.I should have asked”
  • Exactly.
  • He gives everyone the bat glare
  • At school, sometimes guys would sit down next to you
  • but Bruce will have suspicions of the guys’s intentions
  • “Can you move?”
  • “Why?”
  • “Because i want to sit next to him/her

JAMES GORDON

Originally posted by twofacedharveydent

  • Awkward glares
  • “Excuse me?”
  • You would hide behind his back 
  • “Were you flirting with my girlfriend/boyfriend?”
  • “D-Detective Gordon, i’m so sorry - i didn’t know-”
  • Awkward walk home
  • but then
  • “I love you”
  • “I love you too, so stop being jealous you doofus”
  • He makes up for it 

(NOT MY GIFS)

REQUESTS ARE OPEN

Hypocritical
  • Yuuri and Victor: *singing along with Stammi Vicino in the kitchen*
  • Yuri: Disgusting. I cannot believe. How can you two be this bad at singing? If you can't do it well, don't do it at all.
  • Yuri: *goes upstairs with Otabek in an annoyed huff*
  • Yuri and Otabek: *sing along to Welcome to the Madness extremely horribly*