And kid, you’ve got to love yourself. You’ve got wake up at four in the morning, brew black coffee, and stare at the birds drowning in the darkness of the dawn. You’ve got to sit next to the man at the train station who’s reading your favorite book and start a conversation. You’ve got to come home after a bad day and burn your skin from a shower. Then you’ve got to wash all your sheets until they smell of lemon detergent you bought for four dollars at the local grocery store. You’ve got to stop taking everything so goddam personally. You are not the moon kissing the black sky. You’ve got to compliment someones crooked brows at an art fair and tell them that their eyes remind you of green swimming pools in mid July. You’ve got to stop letting yourself get upset about things that won’t matter in two years. Sleep in on Saturday mornings and wake yourself up early on Sunday. You’ve got to stop worrying about what you’re going to tell her when she finds out. You’ve got to stop over thinking why he stopped caring about you over six months ago. You’ve got to stop asking everyone for their opinions. Fuck it. Love yourself, kiddo. You’ve got to love yourself.
—  Unknown
But she will
stand up again,
like a phoenix
flying from its ashes,
like a butterfly
that was once
caged on itself.
—  ma.c.a // And she will live again

“But really,” she tells him, “I don’t need you to understand the chaos that surrounds me.”

“I just need you to love me while I drown in it. ”

—  Lukas W. // Forgotten Words #165 // Love me in chaos
my brain is never at peace
i never seem to find quietness
i’m always wondering
will i ever be good enough
i’m waiting
waiting for silence to come
—  t.m.
I exist. Outside of being your mother, your wife, your sister, your daughter, I exist. I exist as a human first, as a being that experiences joy and suffering, beauty and learning, life and tragedy. I exist because the universe chose to put me here for a purpose higher than my relation to men. I exist because the stars died to give me life and planet blood runs through my veins. So the problem is not my existence. The problem is how you perceive it as so small, you do not believe I can exist at all apart from my bonds with men.
—  Nikita Gill, From “The Moon Dragon and Other Feminist Fairytales”

self-pity is okay


but don’t let it turn into self-loathing


there is a line you need to learn


where the two start to fade into each other


and i know, it’s hard, i’ve been there


but don’t cross it


there are no paths over there


no guidance, just detrimental thoughts


it’s so easy to get lost and buried by your own mind


left with no air or will to exist


it’s all taken away from you so easily


and it’s such a cold place


i don’t want you to be stuck there


i don’t want you to be lost


i want you to have hope

I knew there was so much beauty inside someone’s mind.” she said. “Something deeper. The things they thought when they love someone. The words they wanted to say, but they ended up hiding it underneath. The dreams they had when they were asleep. Sometimes, I honestly wanted to know what they were thinking when they weren’t talking. Sometimes I wanted to risk diving in. Sometimes I wanted to be engulfed and lose myself just by wandering.
—  ma.c.a // But not inside my own mind

Many years now

i’ve been pretending

to feel alive,

i’m exhausted.

Mar // depression is all i got.

Isn’t it funny, how we try so desperately for people that we want to claim as our own. We look our best for them, make the best jokes, invest all of our time into them, so maybe, just maybe, they’ll give us a chance.
We spend weeks, even months, even years, trying to get their attention and love. We worry constantly that someone else is giving them more and better. We hope that we’re the ones they’re thinking about at night.
Then two things could happen. They either break your heart, or fall in love with you. You could sob and scream and curse yourself for not being good enough for them. You could be bitter for so long wondering why you did so much for them. Or, they will notice all you’ve done. You’ll get what you wanted.
But time will pass and you’ll get comfortable. Start to forget why you tried so hard and you’ll start to try less because humans are naturally lazy, and why try when you already have what you want?
Isn’t it so sad, that we try so hard, just to one day take it all for granted.
—  v.m