I saw a post on Facebook the other day. It was a morbidly obese girl showing a lot of skin. The post talked about how she had accepted herself after years of hating her body and cruelty from others. How she didn’t have any health issues, and had finally managed to salvage some self-worth back after years of misery.
You know what wasn’t my first thought?
‘Wow, look at that fat girl, I want to be just like her. She is really fat and I want to be really fat now too because suddenly its ok.’
What I actually thought was this
‘Wow, thats so brilliant that she is finally starting to see herself as more than worthless and ugly, that she is seeing past the cruelty of others. She might finally find it within herself to work towards being truly healthy now that she values herself’
I’ve struggled with my weight since I can remember.
I was fat all through school. And people were not nice to me. When I was only 11, I remember people calling me ‘An elephant’ and ‘A double decker bus’ (because I was also naturally about a foot taller than all of my friends). This continued into secondary school. I joked along with everyone so that they couldn’t completely destroy me, because I knew I was fat. In fact, I thought I was utterly hideous, the epitome of ugly and worthless.
As you can imagine, having this negative view of yourself, which was then further reiterated day in, day out, for your entire fragile adolescence takes its toll on you.
The last thing I wanted to do was diet. School was unbearable, and I thought I was a lost cause, destined to spend my days as a crazy spinster surrounded by cats.
Food made me feel okay again, it comforted me on low days. It was waiting for me at home to cheer me up and bring me back around.
I thought that this was what life was going to be like for me, and I couldn’t see any way that it could change in the future.
And then when I left school and went to college, something magical happened.
People stopped being mean to me about my weight. My classmates saw me as a person, they were kind and considerate and valued me for my talents and quirks. It wasn’t an atmosphere I was used to. For the first year, I was very shy and my weight pretty much stayed the same, having spent so long hating myself.
In the second year, I miraculously lost some weight when I got quite a physical part time job. People noticed and commented on how much healthier I looked. And I felt so good about myself, that it encouraged me to try and keep the weight off, lose more until I was healthy. Because I was worth more than this image of myself that I’d carried for so long.
I am now at university, and I will admit, keeping my weight down hasn’t been easy at all. In my head, I am still an emotional eater. It still cheers me up when I am down, and I don’t think that is ever going to go away. My relationship with food has never been healthy, but I have more or less learned ways to control it.
My self-esteem plunges up and down on a daily basis, which further fuels this relentless fascination some part of my brain seems to have with food.
But I certainly don’t want to be fat.
I get out of bed in the morning and go to the gym on the days where I feel good about myself.
I eat well and look after myself on the days when the world seems bigger and brighter because I feel beautiful and worth looking after.
When I’m low and feeling foul or ugly, I don’t want to look after myself. I would’ve never done any of that when I was being sneered at and shunned for who I was, because what’s the point?
When you see a fat person, don’t tell them they are hideous and unhealthy. Chances are they already know that they aren’t healthy, and that they dont fit into the ‘conventional’ standards of attractiveness. Don’t tell them they are ‘glorifying’ being fat because they claimed to be happy with who they are.
Tell them they are beautiful, they are capable of doing anything they set their mind to. Tell them that they don’t need food to make themselves feel better because there is so much beauty in the world out there to experience, that they needn’t be afraid to grab anymore. Life is too short to hide away feeling miserable about yourself.
Life is just too short to be so cruel to people that are finally starting to see a little bit of light in the darkness.
[ Hey! <3 I have to say that I am completely, 100% okay with mutuals roleplaying with my twins. The muns of my fellow Thranduils (I assume you mean @woodcrowned & @erynaran) are free to write with whomever they wish, whether these be my mutuals or not. :)
Unless of course a mutual of mine is exclusive with me and then they roleplay with a twin of mine. i wouldn’t be okay with that. I don’t become exclusives with a roleplayer until things are clear. E.g. the mun of @shewalksbetweenworlds won’t write with another Thranduil UNLESS it’s a complete AU that isn’t set in the Tolkien verse/in a situation similar to what we have, and I won’t write with another Queen Maeve, just so we avoid any misunderstandings or issues later on. ^^, ]
If there was one good thing about living very close to a market, it was that Douglas could get whatever he wanted and usually relatively cheaply - haggling was one of his many talents. He wasn’t sure if Carolyn approved of it, but then if she knew about half the things he’d done he was fairly sure she wouldn’t trust him with her ship at all.
Still, he was more or less over all that now, and he was putting his ship flying talents to good use. But he did get bored of leading a morally good life easily, and so a little light haggling gave him just enough excitement to keep him out of trouble. And besides, he had three Jedi and their fashion sense to keep up with.
“Wow, Douglas, those are brilliant!” Douglas had decided to show Arthur and Martin his purchase first because the chance that Carolyn would be unimpressed was very high.
“They are pretty good, aren’t they? Don’t tell Carolyn how much they were, though, she’ll be terribly cross.” Douglas said with a smirk. Martin sighed, rolling his eyes. Even for a padawan Douglas found that he was far too righteous and was determined to try and make him relax one of these days.
“I’m going to modify them later so they work even better.” Arthur continued to look at the boots in awe, asking Douglas how they worked and why they could. Douglas didn’t really know, but the made up answers he gave seemed to satisfy Arthur.
The three were interrupted by Carolyn stood in the doorway, sighting heavily. “Please tell me you haven’t found some hover boots, Douglas.”
“If I told you that then I’d be lying.” he said, grinning a Arthur leapt forwards to talk about how brilliant they were. As expected, Carolyn was not pleased, but Douglas was sure that he could convince her that he wouldn’t do any damage with them. They were a bit of fun, and if he didn’t let Martin or especially Arthur use them, what harm could they do?
i read your fanfic (you know the one, the evil feels trip one delivered by satan) and it had me in tears and wow your characterisation is brilliant and your writing conveys so much?? i may as well do as lexa said and cut my heart out and give it to you because after that i have no need for it, i need a combination of ""thank you"" and ""how dARE you"" but wow really im so impressed im clexa trash
Omg THANK YOU!!! That combination you mentioned is just the best compliment i could have received :D I’m sorry about making you cry, I’m Satan, I know, but I just love writing angst, so I thank you for putting yourself through my story, I know it can be a rollercoaster ;) Really, thanks again, your words mean a lot to me, and these kind of messages encourage me to keep writing <3
Thanks love, hope you’ll check out more of my stuff in the future :D
yo dude walter white is such a good character he’s a manipulative asshole, close to abusive, and as the story progresses he is definitely NOT a ‘good guy’ or anything but damn he’s an amazing character