My Justice League review

Justice League is pretty bad. Not as bad as BvS, but still very bad. It has a few kind of okay moments, and you don’t really end up hating most of the characters, but its a weird, disjointed movie that barely makes sense from scene to scene, with horrible dialogue, universally mediocre to awful performances and really ugly CG.

Note: if you liked this movie I don’t think you’re dumb. I like lots of bad movies too.

Stuff that sticks out:

- Batman has 3 non-bat shaped vehicles. Which is fine. But one of them is shaped like a whale and Jason Mamoha NEVER mentions it!

- Wonder Woman wears blue panties. You see them A LOT.

- Cyborg’s job is to remind the rest of the cast to stop messing around and get back to the plot. he really looks like he’d rather be in any other movie. So does most of the cast.

- Diane Lane and Amy Adams, both great actresses, have one of the most painfully written scenes in any movie ever

- Superman is entirely CG, I think. I suspect Henry Cavil died at some point in the last few years.

- Superman is also completely superfluous to the plot. He could have been left out of the movie.

- Jason Momoah is great, but only because he’s Jason Momoah. All of his lines are awful. But at least he looks like he’s having fun. Actually, the one real strength of the movie is that most of the A cast looks like their having fun (the B cast, Diane Lane, Jeremy Irons, Amy Adams, etc, look like they’ve been forced tod do the movie at gunpoint).

- Aquaman visits Atlantis just in time to fight the bad guy, but it then becomes clear that he’s never actually been there before and doesn’t know any of the people there. Which is fine… but why did he go there? Especially since he just spent a whole scene telling Batman that he doesn’t want to help out or get involved or have anything to do with the movie. I feel like there was a deleted scene that explains why he changed his mind. Actually, I came away from the film thinking there must be a ton of deleted scenes explaining why the characters do several really inexplicable things.

- The entire final quarter of the film looks like Mortal Kombat.

- The bad guy comes to Paradise Island and fights the Amazons, who lose but still manage to be pretty badass. They then send a warning to Wonder Woman, and then she and Batman have a conversation about how they need an army and troops to fight the bad guy. But where will they get them? They mention this 5 or 6 times during the movie. Where will they get an army? You keep thinking Wonder Woman will say “Oh, I know an entire army of women who actually defeated this guy before and are ready to fight him right now!” But no. We never see them again.

- Ezra Miller’s Flash is charming and is definitely the funniest thing in the movie… but isn’t actually funny. In any other movie none of his jokes would be funny. He has some great facial expressions though and he’s really trying.

- All of the dialogue is bad.

- Batman is wearing a weird fat suit.

- Its never clear why Batman and Wonder Woman are so attached to Superman, considering they barely knew him for more than 20 minutes. Bruce in particular looks like he’s been writing Superman/Batman fic.

- Bruce makes the same “So you talk to fish?” joke twice, and it isn’t funny either time. None of the jokes are funny.

- Why is Cyborg’s hoodie CG? Wouldn’t it have been easier to just let the actor wear a real hoodie?

- There’s a scene at the end on a yacht with Luthor and Deathstroke where Luthor says “Why don’t we make our own league?”. But then the camera pans around the yacht and they play some yacht music and it really looks like they’re going to start a yachting league. Which I know they’re not. But it really ends up looking like a yacht commercial.

- i hope this isn’t Jeremy Iron’s last film.

- The Parademons apparently can smell fear, and that becomes an important point late in the film. BUUUUUUUUT… there’s a small subplot with a terrified family hiding from the Parademons literally standing right outside their home. And the Parademons never smell their fear. So thats weird.

- Early in the film some terrorists sneak into a bank or government building and try to set off a bomb. But before they do that one of them goes to the window and waves across the street at Wonder Woman, who happens to be standing their on a statue. Which doesn’t make any sense at all. I mean, why would he do that? Maybe he was waving at someone else? But why? Also, why was Wonder Woman just hanging out there? I didn’t get the impression that she was following these terrorists or knew about their plan. She just seemed to be in the right place at the right time. In fact they make it a point later in the movie that Wonder Woman HASN’T been out helping people. So what was she doing there?

- The opening song for the movie is all about how awful life and everything is and plays over a montage of middle aged criminals kicking over crates of oranges and homeless guys with signs saying “I tried”. It’s very long and weirdly the funniest part of the film.

- There’s a fun little Green Lantern bit.

- I forgot that in this setting Gotham and Metropolis are literally right across the river from each other. Literally. You can see downtown metropolis from downtown Gotham.

- Cyborg firs a missile at the bad guy, who catches it and throws it aside, saying that missiles are “primitive technology”. later, Batman blows up the bad guys whole base with some missiles. I feel like this SHOULD have been connected, but it’s totally not in any way.

- Aquaman swims with his pants on.

- A lot of the fight and actions scenes are a mess, but one nice thing is that the characters all kind of move like you’d like them too. Batman moves like Batman. Wonder Woman moves like Wonder Woman. So thats nice.

- Photo of Kevin Costner is weirdly hilarious.

- Batman rides into town on a all black donkey for some reason. He has two bat planes, but he rides a donkey into town. We never see the donkey again.

- I don’t think Batman kills anyone in this one.

i want to talk about the characterizations of ben wyatt and jake peralta. arguably jim halpert could be included in this conversation, but i want to focus on ben and jake because they’re such clear subversions of well-known tropes

firstly, you have ben wyatt. the nerd. he’s established as a hard-ass and a geek early on, and it would have been so easy for the writers to fall into that trope of presenting him as below leslie, as her eventual agreement to date him has a victory for all male nerds, because he had successfully tricked a woman into being interested in him. 

instead, we get ben wyatt, a dork and a feminist. he’s nationally ranked in settlers of catan and he likes to sit around in a batman costume and he loves game of thrones. he also loves his girlfriend enough to lose his job for her, and it’s never even addressed whether he minds that leslie will probably end up with a higher status job than him - because why would he? he loves and supports her, and his nerdiness is presented not as a flaw, but as a complement to her single-minded determination - they’re both total nerds with an overlapping ven diagram of interests.

secondly, jake peralta. the character we’re introduced to in the first episode is cocky and a smartass, and while he’s loveable, we completely understand why he would drive amy up a wall. jake and amy are less alike than ben and leslie are; arguably they’re opposites. again, there’s a trope that the show could have fallen into: “endearing idiot eventually wears down woman who is too good for him, and she realizes she was too uptight all along”.

but again, we get something completely different. jake peralta, known for being Too Much, consistently respects amy’s boundaries and tries as hard as he can to be honest about his feelings, while understanding that amy is her own person. she buys orange soda for him and he gets a new mattress for her. there are so many examples of the respect in that relationship - they’re both so stubborn, but they love each other so much. he’s always known that she was going to be his boss. they’re different, but they love it about each other.

all i’m saying is, this purposeful subversion of gross male stereotypes is so important - and so much easier (and so much funnier!) than people think

today at denny’s i was being my usual 58 year old cis woman self and wearing my “i read about men beating up other men in a sexual context for my own enjoyment” shirt, yknow as i do

and there is this little girl in the line behind me, she was probably, like, nine, what a fucking scrub

and shes been staring at my shirt for the last five minutes so i say “do you have something to say to me you filthy fucking gremlin”

and she replies with “thats kinda weird”

a woman who i assume to be her mom suddenly squeezed up through the floorboards, still no idea how she did that, and said “fiction doesn’t affect reality jessica. as soon as we’re getting home you’re scrubbing the entire fucking house with a pencil eraser.”

the girl starts crying and her mom drags her out of the denny’s, but not before giving me the secret “i, too, love pretending gay men exist for my enjoyment” handshake. 

the entire restaurant starts slow-clapping it out for me. the cashier gave me free lunch and permission to fuck his wife whenever i want.

what a fantastic day.

ok some people don’t seem to see what’s wrong with a straight woman wearing a shirt with the word homo on it. that’s a slur coming from someone who isn’t gay. she’s not allowed to say that. she’s not allowed to wear it. she’s not allowed to profit off of it. because it’s not her word. what she did is…honestly really ugly and i’m apalled by it. she’s just profiting off of the LGBT community when she’s not a part of it, and that’s really not okay.


( Second photo) This is by far my favorite shot of Black Panther so far! My love for Angela Bassett is endless but I do want to take a minute to share a quick history of the Zulu inspired headdress she’s wearing:

The flared shape of these Zulu women’s hats (isicholo), dyed with red ochre, reflect the original design of the hairstyle on which they are based. Originally a mother would sew her daughter’s hair into this complex design for the initial stage in the series of ceremonies associated with her daughter’s marriage. The hats are a relatively new aspect of Zulu traditional dress that were developed in the late 19th or early 20th century and are based on the cone-shaped hairstyle that indicated the wearer’s maturity and marital status. Marriage and its affirmation of maturity is one of five key rites of passage in the life of a Zulu woman alongside: birth, naming, death/burial and ukubuyisa, “bringing home of the spirit”.

Once Zulu culture accepted hats as an alternative to the hairstyle, a young bride-to-be would begin sewing her hat as soon as she knew to whom she would be married. They are made by overlaying dyed string on a basketry foundation. Isicholo play a role in the ukukhehla ceremony, the second ceremony in which the future bride and groom exchange gifts and thanks before the actual wedding. For the majority of the ceremony the hat (or originally the bride’s hair) would be protected by a wrap of white fabric. At the appropriate moment in the wedding songs, the groom-to-be removes the wrap and pins a note to the headdress. Once married, a Zulu woman would wear this hat on a daily basis to signify her married status. The hat was one of very few adornments worn by married women, who, although part of a culture where beadwork plays an extremely significant symbolic role, wore nearly none.

Today the isicholo is no longer worn on a daily basis, but it continues to be used on special ceremonial occasions, when it is commonly worn with an imported scarf tied over the hat to keep the read ochre pigment from rubbing off on the wearer’s clothes.

(Side note: I am literally securing my wig because I am NOT ready for how great this movie will be!)

[SW:TLJ] Trailer musings

Ordinarily I try to avoid the Star Wars fandom, as I’m already in enough toxic fandoms as it is. However, this new trailer is blowing my mind and I have to write my thoughts about it or I’ll probably implode. 

Spoilers for the new Star Wars: The Last Jedi trailer abound. For the sake of those who might be uncomfortable with viewpoints like mine and for those who’d like to avoid spoilers, I’ll be placing this bad boy under a cut. For everyone else, well, enter the dragon’s lair if you dare. Mua. Ha. Ha. *ahem* 

(Word of warning: I wrote this puppy at 3AM, so it’s most likely completely incoherent. Sorry in advance lol.)

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Small demigod Vax & Vex moments:

  • The night after Pike gets revived, Vax lays awake in bed and wonders how many more times he’ll have to beg his mother to return his friends. He doesn’t pray. He receives no answers.
  • When the words “Horn of Orcus” are first mentioned, Vex takes a deep breath that hisses through her teeth.
  • While they’re hunting Hotis for the first time, Kash remarks on how the Raven Queen probably isn’t happy with a demon running around her section of a sacred city. Vax responds with an explanation of the Raven Queen’s surprisingly cordial relationship with the rulers of the nine hells. Keyleth asks how he knows that. “…you know, tutors at Syngorn and all that.”
  • When Vax gets hit with the Briarwoods’ thrall, there’s–not exactly a noise, but the feeling of an angry hiss that zips past his ears. It’s not what lets him break loose, but when the battle is over it helps him figure out exactly what the Briarwoods are.
  • During Vex’s watch at the Inn in Whitestone, she closes her eyes and says to nothing in particular: “If there’s anything you can do to take down those giants, that’d be appreciated.” 
  • Vex steals a broom, and Vax shakes his head at her. “You really are a little bird.” She swats him. The feathers in her hair are black.
  • During discussion of the Deathwalker’s Ward, Vex and Vax make eye contact. “Let’s get that one,” Vex says cheerfully. “It is the closest.”
  • Vax clutches Vex’s body in his arms as the Raven Queen, in her cold splendor, materializes in the Sunken Tomb. “Please,” he says. “Mother, please.” She leans forward and presses a hand to Vex’s forehead, but vanishes before Vex takes a breath.
  • “So, are we gonna talk about the ‘mother’ thing?” Kash asks as they all exit the tomb. Vex whirls to look at Vax so fast her braid hits Zahra in the face. 
  • “Lemme get this straight. You were born because your human mom had a threesome with an elf and the goddess of death?” “Please never use the word ‘threesome’ in regard to any of our parents ever again.”
Don’t Freak

Originally posted by kings-of-my-heart

Steve Harrington x Reader

Requests are OPEN



“You’re really trying to tell me that Low is David Bowie’s best album to date?” Jonathan nodded, opening the brown paper bag that held his lunch.

“That’s exactly what I’m telling you,” Y/N’s eyes widened, then shoved her lunch tray to the side. She leaned on her elbows, her hands in front of her.

“I could name five other Bowie albums, easily, that blow Low out of the water,” Jonathan took a bite of his sandwich, then motioned to Y/N.

“Go on then,”

Station to Station,” Y/N’s right index finger began to point to the fingers on her left hand to count. “Aladdin Sane, The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars -obviously-, Diamond Dogs, and my number one favorite Bowie album of all time,” Jonathan mimed exactly what Y/N was saying with her, “Hunky Dory.” Y/N took a deep breath as she finished, then shoved a french fry in her mouth. “It’s like I don’t even know you sometimes,” She shook her head and shrugged her shoulders jokingly, “But, I mean, Low is still a great album,” That made Jonathan chuckle. A body suddenly appeared on the bench next to Y/N, scaring the life out of her. She had one hand on her mouth and the other over her heart to stop herself from screaming. Y/N turned her head and saw Steve Harrington with a dumb grin on his face.

“Tonight?” He looked at Y/N expectantly.

“What?” Her pupils were still wide from the shock, and the word sounded pretty dumb coming from her.

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denial: dua lipa is just closeted

anger: why would she wear the homo shirt if she was straight shes a performative ally and shes homophobic

bargaining: if i never got mad at straight people again would she not be homophobic?

depression: shes straight and everyone hates her now and i dont know why she had to be straight

acceptance: dua lipa is a heterosexual woman and her wearing the homo shirt is wrong but i still love her—however i do not excuse her actions

signs as stereotypes

capricorn: no nonsense career woman who wears suits and hates men

sagittarius: gay bestfriend

aquarius: pretentious asshole who takes polaroids and writes shitty poetry

pisces: disney princess, literally an angel, can also sing

aries: introverted protagonist who draws in class and doesn’t talk to anyone

taurus: tough jock with no brains

gemini: popular mean girl who bullies new girls

cancer: weird kid who eats lunch by themself

virgo: preppy nerd, stuck up but also nice and pretty

leo: extroverted best friend to introverted protagonist, encourages them to socialise

libra: new bad boy love interest with sensitive side

scorpio: evil disney villain that likes to monologue

Loki Imagine - Dirty Dreams

Loki’s P.O.V.

At night, it was usually very quiet. Everyone else was asleep, expect me. Being on Midgard wasn’t what I had actually wanted but here I was, almost forced to stay because of my brother Thor. He and his little avenger friends had a secret mission, which left me tagging along unwillingly. At least I got some sort of a room, which I was in now. It was small. There was a big bed, a nightstand and a few books.

It was really late but I kept hearing whimpers. They were distracting my reading so I got up to check whatever it was. Hopefully they wouldn’t nag their heads off tomorrow since I left my room. I wasn’t a pet tho, so I assumed I got some freedom here.

Quietly, I opened the door which led me to a hallway. It was dark, the white curtains covered the windows and no lights were on. Then I listened. First I heard absolutely nothing. As I thought it was simply my mind, I heard it again. It came from the room on the opposite of mine, Y/N’s room. She was a spy, for all that I knew. Actually, Y/N was the only decent human here who treated me nicely.

Was she crying?

I walked behind her door and knocked gently, hopefully not waking anyone else up. Night time was great because I didn’t have to interact with some of those gormless muppets. She didn’t seem to react on the knock. So I listened closely, quite honestly not expecting anything special. 

‘‘Loki’‘ my name left her lips softly and I thought I heard it wrong. Had I done something? This filled me with confusion so I opened the door and walked in, expecting to see a human woman crying into a pillow, her H/C hair messy and eyes bloodshot. Instead, I found her perfectly asleep in her bed, the sheets a little messy. She shifted her position so she was laying on her stomach and her hand squeezed the sheet. 

Obviously she wasn’t crying. If she would’ve been quiet, I wouldn’t have stayed. But she did mention my name so I was also intrigued. Did I frighten her? Was she having a nightmare as well?

I wasn’t sure what was going through her mind but there was only one way to find out, magic. Casually I walked over and then sat on the edge of her bed. It was a little bit smaller than mine, which was surprising. But her room was bigger and it smelled like redwine and perfume. 

As I sat down, I looked at her hair and focused, closing my eyes as well. Not too long after I caught onto her dreams and they played before my eyes. There were no murderous monsters chasing her, no blood covered rooms or ghosts in her dreams, oh no.

Y/N’s dreams were much dirtier. I could see a candlelit, fancy bedroom. Y/N was on the bed, above a man and she was riding him. She was moaning loudly and it seemed quite intimate. It took me about two seconds to make sense of this all. 

My eyes opened and her dream vanished from a sight. A mischievous smirk appeared on my face along with a chuckle. She was dreaming the dirtiest of dreams about me. I was both surprised and honored. 

‘‘What..are you doing?’‘ I heard a sleepy voice, making me look back at Y/N: She had woken up now and she had noticed me. Y/N  turned on her back and then looked out the window, noticing it was still night. This would be fun.

‘‘Oh, I couldn’t sleep and then I heard interesting sounds coming from your room, darling. I just came to check if everything was fine’‘ I shrugged and kept my smirk plastered on, happy that I knew what I now knew. Y/N’s cheeks seemed to heat up a little bit. 

‘‘Did you have sweet dreams?’‘ I asked her and then took a look at her body, finding it hard not to. Y/N was a beautiful woman, undeniably. She was wearing a black nightgown and a golden necklace around her neck. ‘‘I-I don’t-’‘ Y/N got flustered which I liked. I could keep questioning her a bit, since this was more interesting than the midgardian book I was reading.

‘‘I assume you like candle lights’‘ I added and that put it all together for her. Y/N’s pretty eyes widened and she nearly gasped. We had talked a lot during the few weeks we had been here and I had never seen her this flustered, shy and even embarrassed. She was quite cute like this, lost for words.

‘‘Did you look into my dream?’‘ She whisper-yelled at me and threw her blanket away from her. ‘‘Maybe I did, love’‘ I answered quickly, causing her to throw a pillow at me. As I put the pillow away, I noticed that Y/N was standing in front of me. Did I piss her off? Oops.

‘‘Loki! You..urgh- that’s..so unfair!’‘ She stomped her foot on the floor. That was a sign for me to stand up as well. ‘‘Well a little magic here and there never hurt anyone’‘ I let out a light laugh. Y/N couldn’t even look me in the eye. ‘‘But- Damn.. this is awkward’‘ Y/N breathed out quietly. At least she wasn’t yelling so that was good.

‘‘It doesn’t have to be awkward’‘ I replied quickly, causing her to tense up. ‘‘Loki..’‘ She said my name almost happily until she looked angry again. ‘‘You idiot! You’re just playing around’‘ She hissed and raised her arms up in the air. I was quick to see what she did so I grabbed her wrists and pulled her closer.

‘‘Remember who you’re talking to, kitten’‘ I reminded her with a darker voice, making her look at me. Her eyes were filled with a dozen emotions, shame being quite evident. But there was also lust in there. ‘‘Loki, what are you doing?’‘ She asked me shyly and eyed my hands that held her wrists. I studied her closely and noticed how easily submissive she was. 

‘‘Whatever do you mean?’‘I teased her and turned us around so I could make her sit down on the bed. She barely put up a fight as I controlled her movements. Perfect. ‘‘Are you going to make fun of my dream?’‘ Y/N asked me and it made her look away. She was quite flustered now. Something about her made me feel different. I didn’t want to make fun of her dream.

I actually quite enjoyed her dream.

I let go of her wrists and then I grabbed her jaw, making her look at me. Our eyes met and I noticed how she slowly started affecting me, making me want to do all kinds of things to her delicate body.  ‘’Oh I won’t make fun of it dear. I got other things in mind but it’s up to you whether you want it or not’’ I let her know a little of my plans. My other hand touched her bare knee and I traced my finger on her skin, drawing goosebumps.

Y/N gulped but she didn’t back off either. ‘’And based on your exclusive dreams..’’ I spoke up again, now letting my fingers touch her thigh. Y/N separated her legs a little bit, almost magically so I could get better access. ‘’..you wouldn’t mind it one bit’’ I finished what I was saying, hoping for a positive reaction. 

Only now it came true to me how much I desired someone to touch and someone to be touched by. These past few weeks had been so long and boring and all along this woman slowly woke up my sexual dreams. Now it was pretty obvious she felt the same.

I let my palm rest on her thigh and I waited for her reaction. Y/N smiled and then nodded, looking at me very intensely. ‘’I won’t mind’’ She answered. Suddenly she grabbed my hair and pulled me in bed so I was on top of her smaller frame. Our lips met and that was the beginning of a blissful night. Also, neither one of us cared about being quiet anymore, because for that moment it was just her and me.

A Dance With Death

Summary: Dan is the God of Death, who helps people to the Underworld when they pass. One day, he randomly pops up at a masquerade ball for Prince Philip’s coming of age ceremony. He doesn’t know why he is there, but it’s hard to focus on his job when the prince asks him to dance.
Word Count: 7,919
Warnings: character death, blood, graphic depictions of dying
A/N: Many thanks to Haley ( @haleykinz) for this WONDERFUL idea! I just kinda took this idea and ran with it, and now it’s far too long. As you can see, this does have character death in it. BUT, it is a happy ending. I mean, Dan’s the God of Death, what do you expect? Also thank you to Jillian ( @jilliancares) and Elizajane ( @snowbunnylester) for helping me develop this fic, and thank you to Hannah ( @flyingstarshowell) for betaing this for me :’) love u all

tag urself, god edition
art by haley
art by @dilshamster​

Read it on AO3!


Dan has a guilty pleasure.

It’s a weird one, that’s for sure, something that most people like him don’t have any desire for. But he can’t seem to help it, honestly. He likes the way people move around him, how they laugh and dance and genuinely don’t care about anything else in the world. He likes the way girls’ dresses flow as they twirl and the way men wear little bow ties around their necks. Hell, sometimes girls wear bowties, and Dan likes that too.

And for a single moment, nobody thinks about death.

Masquerade dances are the perfect excuses for Dan to be himself. Well, kind of.

He’s dead. He’s been dead for thousands of years, in fact. He is a creature of the underworld, one made of bone and paper-thin flesh that he can mould to his liking. He have s changed his appearance sometimes, just because he could. Once, he had found himself moulding into Shrek and had laughed for a good three weeks before deciding to change it up.

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every time i see batman i get the urge to hold my heart and fawn, like an old church-going woman who wears fake pearls from belk when she hears her nephew caught the winning pass at the high school football game. i’m so proud. i feel like a mother lovingly watching her baby swing around on the jungle gym, telling random strangers all about how he’s grown so much recently, i can barely buy enough clothes to keep up! like every time i catch the silhouette of those pointy ears, i’m like, “ahh, there he is. dominator of the rental space in my heart. my big fuck-up baby. he had a feeling today and didn’t immediately lock himself in a cave to scream at the bats, and i’m proud of him for that. at this rate, by 2054 we’ll graduate him to two feelings. my tiny justice turtle is doing so well, i believe in him. i love him and if you take that from me i will slit your abdominal cavity with an exacto knife and feed your bloated organs to a herd of pigs.”