Me watching the Winter Olympics
  • me:wait what do you mean they messed up how
  • me:*hysterically laughing at curling*
  • me:*whispering* gotta go fast fast fAsT
  • me:ah yes my favorite athlete, fikpa glokthuodjfika
  • me:*during every event* ow ow ow ow ow
  • me:is that person 15 or 30
  • me:why does hamburger helper have an olympics-themed ad
  • me:
  • me:im really bad at sports
If Tumblr was in the Olympics.
  • figure skating:signature move would be the "baby giraffe;" only managing to stand up about 5% of the routine
  • cross country:can't run cross country off of skis let alone on them
  • ski jumping:***ski falling
  • luge:*slides three feet and comes to a stop*
  • skeleton:^^^
  • curling:~GOLD MEDAL~
  • hockey:*immediately tackled/pelted with pucks*
  • snow board:no
  • speed skating:we can't even do slow skating
  • nordic combined:???
  • bobsleigh:*loudly quotes cool runnings*

Team USA: Sochi 2014

Discover Hockey star Zach Parise’s Home Game schedule. Routine or superstition? We’ll let you decide.                                                                  

Breakfast: Scrambled eggs and turkey bacon

Morning Practice: At morning practice the day of a Home Game, the Minnesota Wild Left Wing and a defenseman have a ritual: Zach must deflect three pucks into the goal pocket consecutively (they’ll repeat efforts until they accomplish this)

Lunch: Same place, same time, every Home Game

1:30-3:30: Takes a nap

4:05: Leaves home to get coffee at Caribou Coffee. While en route to the game he listens to music– if he had a good game the night before, he repeats the same playlist 

5:15: Team meeting – after, Zach visualizes himself scoring goals in each net from the bench

5:30: Power play meeting

5:45: Begins stretching routine

7:00: In prep for the game, Zach always puts his right skate on before his left